That's the Way Love Goes
by PitaBread
Summary: -SessKag- Two years after Naraku's destruction, Kagome is still battling demons literally and figuratively. When she is seperated from her group, she finds herself being rescued by a most unlikely savior. But who will save him?
1. I

**A/N: I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to be as funny as it is in some parts. Honest – this was supposed to be a romantic drama, but it has turned into a romantic dramedy, lol. Big thanks to luvtodraw, my friend and supporter. Without her consent, I may have trashed this idea. If you don't know some of the Japanese terms, I've included a 'what's-what' at the end. Thank you to all who read this, in advance.**

**To my deviantART****, PaperDemon**** a****nd FanFiction readers:**This story is going to be very lemony. Because I cannot post that type of work here, I will be editing out the citrusy parts. If you are reading at one of the above sites and wish to view the chapter in its' entirety, please look up the story at the following sites: (PaperDemon) The Red Curtain; InuYashaFanFiction; MediaMiner; A Single Spark. You can also contact me through email or private message, and I will provide a link to the story.

**My inspiration for this ****fan****fic.**** If any of you recognize**** the song, more power to you.**

_"Like a moth through a flame, burnt by the fire…_

_My love is blind, can't you see my desire?_

_That's the way love goes…"_–Janet Jackson

That's the Way Love Goes

By PitaBread

In the middle of battle, Kagome noticed something was devastatingly wrong. Miroku, in his cunning, had used ofuda to keep some of the demons at bay. Atop Kirara, Sango heaved Hiraikotsu towards many more, only striking a few. And Inuyasha had his hands full with an Oni of his own. Shippou clinging to her leg, Kagome knew she only had a few Hama no Ya left, and then she would need to seek the protection of one of her friends.

The road to the future had been difficult ever since Naraku had been destroyed. Fear of change, fear of the unknown, fear that she wouldn't do the right thing; Kagome had listed many reasons for herself not to wish the Shikon no Tama out of existence. They knew the reason she didn't want to get rid of the jewel. She was afraid that the well would close, that she would be trapped in this time – or worse, she would be transported to her own time, never to see any of them, especially Inuyasha, ever again. So she hung on to the jewel, and she and Inuyasha battled whatever demons came after her for it. Miroku and Sango, as promised, had gotten married shortly after Naraku's defeat. They were in no rush to have children now, for there was no need for an immediate heir. They were simply enjoying life together, and helping Inuyasha and Kagome destroy the demons that still sought the jewel. Inuyasha had settled into a peaceful life, going where he was needed. With Kikyou avenged and Naraku gone, Inuyasha could be a normal – if that applied – hanyou. He hadn't sealed his relationship with Kagome – there had never even been a kiss, only unspoken declarations of love. He spent many days high in the branches of a tree, thinking about the last three years – mostly that first year in which they spent fighting Naraku. He had promised himself that if Kagome stayed with him until she was no longer bound by the 'school' she was always complaining about, he would ask to marry her. Of course, she knew nothing of this. She assumed he was still mourning Kikyou, who had been finally laid to rest again by the hands of Naraku. But she had promised to stay by his side, and she kept to her word.

Now that Naraku was long gone, High School became easy for her. She entered High School shortly after the death of the evil hanyou, and was in the last year of her education. Soon, she would be finished with that as well. She went to school during the week, with Inuyasha visiting her when he could, and on the days of which there was no school she would stay with her friends in the Sengoku Jidai. She had celebrated her 18th birthday at home. In the Feudal Era, she honed her skills as a miko – her powers had returned tenfold after Magatsuhi's death, and time with Kaede had improved her knowledge of herbs and with Sango's help, she mastered Kyudo. She also picked up many skills, such as creating barriers and learning many other spells. Then, about a year ago, she realized she had certain abilities where youkai were concerned. It had happened innocently; Shippou had gotten badly injured by travelling bandits while he was playing with some village children. As Inuyasha sent the outlaws running, she simply cried and held Shippou tightly as he bled and willed him to heal with her soul. And amazingly, he did. She tried afterwards to recreate this, but it did not work with humans, to her dismay, and even with other youkai she had not been able to heal again. Kaede suspected that her emotional state had something to do with healing him, and unless she truly needed the person to be healed, it would not happen again. Kaede had tried to help her recreate her inspiration, but it was not to be. Kohaku lived with Sango and Miroku, and Shippou with Inuyasha and Kaede. And so the last two years had gone by quickly.

What they had not anticipated, however, was the unification of many powerful demons who had been watching her group. Keeping away from the likes of Naraku, so as not to get absorbed, they conspired, collecting information about the strengths and weaknesses of Kagome and Inuyasha's friends. They knew that Miroku no longer could threaten them with the Kazaana, although he still had fierce holy powers. They knew that Sango was a true warrior, though Kohaku was her weak spot. Similarly, they knew that Kagome was the Achilles' heel of Inuyasha, although he was the strongest of them all. And then there was the threat of Kagome herself. They feared her holy powers, rumored to be many times greater than the distinguished Kikyou. Her Hama no Reiryoku was rumored to be able to purify on contact and it was said that her Hama no Ya could kill a hundred demons as it sailed through the air. And like the one who held her heart, Inuyasha was her vulnerability. These were the same demons that now attacked them.

The Oni that Inuyasha was fighting was quick enough to avoid the Kaze no Kizu and Kongosouha and was slowly drawing him away from Kagome. Sango's youkai were sacrificing themselves so that others could get their tentacles, arms, or claws on Kohaku, keeping her attention. Similarly, Miroku was being occupied so that he only sought to help his wife and brother.

In a fraction of a second, a dragonfly youkai scooped low, snatching Shippou up, but not harming him. Kagome knew she could not loose an arrow for fear of hitting Shippou. She ran after them, while the kitsune yelled for his makeshift mother. Once they were further than Kagome suspected, the demon feigned exhaustion. 'Cornered' by the miko, it begged for its' life.

"Please, miko-sama, spare me," it buzzed. "I did not harm him…"

Confidant, Kagome aimed one of two arrows remaining at the dragonfly. "Release him!" she shouted angrily.

False fear upon its' ugly face, the youkai threw Shippou at the girl, but did not move. She caught the kitsune, having to put down her arrow.

"Shippou, run back! I'll be there in a minute," she told the fox kit.

"No way, Kagome! I'm staying to help!"

"Go! Now!" she cried.

Stubborn but yielding to her, Shippou reasoned with himself that he would simply retrieve Inuyasha. He ran with tenacious speed back to the main battle.

Raising her arrow once again, Kagome scowled at the bug. "If you go now, and don't come back, I'll let you live," she told it.

_Aah, like the Oni said, compassion will be her downfall_, the demon said to itself smugly. Before it could reply, the huge Ogre that Inuyasha had been battling crashed through the trees to her right. Loosing her arrow in surprise, it flew true and the dragonfly disintegrated.

Great apprehension gripped Kagome like an enormous cold hand. _Why is it still alive? Is Inuyasha hurt? What happened back there?_ Knowing exactly what she was thinking, the enormous Ogre made sure to approach Kagome so that it was impossible for her to run back the way she came. She attempted it anyways, and, not to be outdone, the impossibly fast Oni was opposite her before she realized it had moved. With a mighty swipe of its' huge hand, the claws reached for her flesh. After three years of dodging demons, Kagome had learned when to tuck and roll. However, the velocity at which the arm came towards her was not to be misjudged. She saved her own life by jumping to her right, but not without consequence. The Ogre's claws dug into her left side, leaving two large gashes in her side and ruining her blue high school uniform. Grasping for her last arrow, she stood, wobbling from the shock and pain. Determined to not give up her life or the Shikon Jewel, she vaguely wondered where Inuyasha was. Her body was working quickly to dull the pain, and she was becoming bold in her stupor.

"I'll never let a monster like you have the Shikon no Tama!" she cried, drawing her arm back.

Unfortunately, she also noticed that the beast was drawing back his own arm to attempt to claim her life again, and she decided it best to avoid it.

Sesshoumaru had been travelling towards his brothers' village in order to see to arranging for another kimono to be bought for the rapidly growing Rin. This was to be her 4th kimono in the three years since he found her. The girl had insisted on coming, and she had been especially excited to reunite with Kohaku. He had sneered at the thought of the young girl playing with the now teenager, but he would not deny her.

He heard a commotion farther in the forest, but paid it no heed, as it did not concern him. However, as his group neared the disturbance, he felt a surge of holy power. He had felt this power before – when they had fought Naraku at the end, and Kagome had purified Magatsuhi. Therefore, by his reason, the miko was engaged in battle, and by logic, his brother as well. He instructed Jaken to look after Rin, and left them with the two-headed dragon, Ah-Un. Now close to the action, two things disturbed him. First, there was the heavy scent of blood – that of a ningen. And second, the scent of his half-breed brother was no where near. Rushing towards the sounds of confrontation, Sesshoumaru drew Bakusaiga. Bursting through the trees into the clearing, Sesshoumaru flashed his eyes towards the onna that he recognized as Inuyasha's miko. He saw the look of surprise in her eyes, and she attempted to get him to back down. _This Sesshoumaru runs from no one, _he told himself.

Kagome was going to be able to have just enough time to jump out of the way. She flipped backwards and landed on her back in time for the Ogre's hand come crashing into the ground in front of her. Vaguely, she felt the dull throb of pain in her side. She drew the arrow. She felt it come to life, flaring with her powers. When the foul monster felt her energy, it reared back in shock. It knew its' life was in danger, and it roared in both fear and anger. She knew that the creature would be more hesitant to attack, now that it felt her force. Kagome could feel an enormous mass of youki coming towards them. _Just great_, she thought. _I can barely handle this one, and an even stronger one is coming_. Drawing on her power again, she pulled back on the bow. Aiming, she was about to loose the arrow when suddenly the trees behind her came crashing down, and she whirled to face her new doom. Fortunately, it was not her time to die. The heavy mass of youki she had felt was none other than Sesshoumaru. _Nan de?_ She thought she might laugh later, when she would reflect on the situation she was in, but right now, she could only think of the youkai's safety. She knew Sesshoumaru was deathly fast, but she also knew that his ego sometimes got in the way, and he would not consider that this creature could possibly be quick.

"Sesshoumaru-sama! Don't! He's too fast! Leave this to me!" Kagome called to him anxiously.

She could practically feel him scowling at her insinuation, and she watched with morbid fascination as he swung his sword at the Oni. Of course, the Oni underestimated the small demon that had rudely interrupted his quest for the Shikon Jewel. It swerved towards Sesshoumaru in response, its claws soiled with Kagome's blood. Ever the silent killer, she watched the daiyoukai bring the mighty Bakusaiga down hard, and she flinched at the sound and sight of the Ogre's right arm being severed at the elbow. But to both miko and youkai's surprise, the beast did not even waste a moment. With great speed, the monster swung its' left arm and caught Sesshoumaru in its' grasp. Unable to wield his sword or use his claws, Sesshoumaru thought to bite down if he must. But the next thing he knew, he felt tremendous, pure power flowing towards him. He watched in vague fascination as the arrow moved towards him, and wondered if he would survive the attack. The Ogre had not seen it coming until it was too late, and Kagome watched it lodge into the chest of the beast. The Oni was enveloped in a burst of pure light, and it exploded, pieces scattering and turning into ash. What caught her attention was the white blur that had flown backwards through the trees that it had originally come.

When she was sure that there was no other threat, Kagome raced across the clearing towards Sesshoumaru. _He had tried to save me. Had he known it was me? Did he just want to kill the demon? __Where's__ Jaken and Rin?_ Many questions came to mind as she made her way to where she had seen the youkai thrown. When she arrived, she gasped in surprise and worry.

Arranged none too gently with his back across a fallen tree, Sesshoumaru lay limp. Kagome searched for immediate wounds, but mostly only saw parts where his skin was burnt from her powers. Quickly, she removed the small backpack and the medical kit it held. Kagome had traded her huge, yellow pack for a smaller pink one a few months after Naraku's death since she didn't need many supplies anymore, except for medical supplies and the occasional textbook. This one, she could do battle in. Unfortunately, it had suffered as she did; the left strap had been severed when she had been hurt by the Oni. _That wasn't the only thing damaged_, she noticed. _Mama's going to kill me_, she thought as she inspected her expensive school uniform. Not only was it shredded where her gashes lay, but now they were covered in her blood. _Maybe I'll just throw it away_… she surmised, thinking it was best if her mother didn't know the harm that she had been put in. She decided that later, she would change. But right now…

It was almost surreal. Sesshoumaru, Lord of the West, a daiyoukai and the brother of the love of her life, was lying unconscious in front of her. And she was the cause. Maybe she should have let him handle it. She hadn't given him the chance. What bothered her more was the fact that when Shippou had been captured, she had been unwilling to use her powers, lest she hurt him. But when the situation was similar, with Sesshoumaru being the captive, she had not failed to do what was necessary. Did this mean that she didn't consider Sesshoumaru a friend? She smirked at herself. _Yeah, he would love to hear you call him a friend_, she told herself. _Then you would be decapitated, as a show of friendship_. All the while, she worked, finding areas of burnt flesh and rubbing salve on them from her time. At one point, she came across an actual wound on his left side that was partially hidden by his armor. _How do I get this thing off?_ She fumbled with the ties and obi, and finally they gave way. Attempting to remove it, she found it extremely heavy. _Jeez, how does he walk around – no_, strut _around – with this stuff on? Oh, right. Strength of a daiyoukai_. She heaved the armor to the side. Kagome gasped when she saw the extent of the wound. This must be where he was closest to my arrow, she thought grimly. It was raw, with burned edges and both bleeding and oozing. Horrified by her own power, she began to cry. This man was an ally, and she had put him in danger. Tears falling freely, the thought that it would have been much, much worse - if it had been Shippou - did not escape her. Sobbing outright, Kagome placed her hands on the smooth skin of the youkai. He was cool to the touch, and his perfect skin was only marred where her powers had singed him. She cried harder, her fingers trembling, as she attempted to swipe the blood away with a small towel she kept in her pack. She cleansed the wound, but it still bled profusely. _I should have let him handle it! I should have trusted in Sesshoumaru-sama_. She laid her small frame against his and cried. Of course, she knew he wasn't dead. But she had no idea what effects of something like this created. Would it continue to consume him? Would it never heal? Would it leave a scar? The thought of such a scar on his beautiful skin made her cry harder. She knew, deep down, that this was nothing compared to cutting off his arm. She turned to the now regenerated arm, and noted that it, too, was partially burnt. Distraught, Kagome cried, her hands on the daiyoukai's skin where she had pushed his kimono aside. As she regretted her actions, she felt her powers flare. She wished for Sesshoumaru's wounds to heal, and she felt her skin tingle with a familiar, yet foreign power. She had only felt it once before. A red light began to glow where she was touching the youkai, and suddenly she could feel his youki, really _feel_ it, and it swirled with her own powers. She hadn't felt this when she had healed Shippou, and it scared her, but she remained where she was. After a few moments, Kagome began to embrace the feeling as it warmed her. She felt more powerful than ever as his youki blended with her powers. It was almost as if he was strengthening her with his youki so she could heal him. Idly, she wondered if only miko powers could heal wounds _caused by_ miko powers. She watched in wonder as his wounds slowly stopped bleeding, then began to close, and she pushed all other thoughts from her mind. The burns were gone. There was only a small marring of the skin where the large, bleeding wound had been. When he was healed, she felt his youki pull away from her, and as it returned to its' master, she felt her strength leave her. She wavered towards unconsciousness, and as Kagome's world went black, she found herself wondering why he hadn't woken up.

Shippou had run for his life as he escaped the dragonfly demon that had grabbed him. _That seemed a little too easy_, he thought with a frown as he raced back to Inuyasha.

Back at the scene of battle, he saw that almost all of the demons had been eradicated, but Inuyasha was badly hurt. Sango was attending to Miroku, who was bleeding from his leg. Kirara was helping Inuyasha, who had a large hole through his stomach and three gashes in his shoulder. Bleeding profusely, he stood his ground and attempted the Kaze no Kizu at a particularly sly tanuki. Able to dodge his blows easily and then viciously attack with claws and fangs, the badger youkai kept Inuyasha at bay.

Miroku had been the first to notice the kitsune. "Daijoubou-ka, Shippou?"

The little red head bobbed furiously. "Hai. Ano… Kagome…" he trailed off.

This set off bells of alarm for the monk and his wife. "Kagome-sama… where is she?" the taijiya asked worriedly.

"She came to rescue me. We went far, but she got me back. She told me to come back, and I didn't wannabutsheyelledand-"

"Shippou-kun, calm down," Miroku soothed. But they could tell he was worried. "We must go after her," he said, attempting to stand.

He fell back to the ground with an 'oomph' and his wife hovered anxiously. "You mustn't move, houshi-sama. I'll go," Sango said.

When she turned, Miroku again tried to stand, and all three cringed when they heard a sickening crunch. The monk yelled in his pain. They all knew that something was broken. Now agonizing over her husband, Sango asked Shippou to let Inuyasha know what happened. He nodded and ran to the only fight that was still in action.

In his pain, Inuyasha hadn't noticed the return of the fox kit. But now, as he ran towards him with a worried expression, Inuyasha realized. And he felt so very, very stupid. _Kagome…_

"Inuyasha!" the kitsune cried at the sight of his wounds.

"Where's Kagome?" he shouted back.

As Inuyasha darted to avoid a set of gnashing teeth, Shippou recounted the tale of his escape.

Inuyasha sounded his fear as he used the last bit of strength to Kaze no Kizu into oblivion. _Amazing how he fights harder when he knows Kagome's in danger_, Shippou thought to himself, suppressing a smirk.

Unfortunately, although Inuyasha had now killed the last of the attacking demons, he now fell to the ground, sapped of whatever power he had left and slipped into unconsciousness.

Shippou, worried about all his friends, could do nothing as he fretted over Kagome's safety, and the wounds of both Miroku and especially Inuyasha.

Sango and Miroku decided that the only thing they could do was to go back to Kaede's village and seek medical assistance. Sango, the warrior she was, hefted Inuyasha onto Kirara's back and helped Miroku to the nekomata as well. Walking in silence, none dared to speak of Kagome's fate. It would be hard enough to deal with Inuyasha when he awoke and realized they had left Kagome.

_Insolent girl_, Jaken fumed as he took the flowers off his head_. First, I am made to go to a ningen village because she begged to go; then, my Lord leaves me with her as he goes to battle?! Now, all she does is speak of the boy, Kohaku, and weave flower wreaths! Insufferable child!_ True, the daiyoukai's loyal servant did not really mind the presence of the girl. But this past year, she had gotten flippant and more frivolous. She spoke often of Kohaku, and she was growing quickly, hence their trip. But she also stayed true to their Lord; she never disobeyed him, and kept out of his way. Perhaps this was why his Lord was inclined to allow her to travel with him to his brothers' village. He hadn't wanted to go, but he knew that at some point Sesshoumaru would have to leave her alone – such as this moment – and it would not do to leave her in the care of a two-headed dragon. In the back of his mind, Jaken knew that it was safe to leave Rin in the care of Ah-Un – the beast cared for her dearly. But better to be safe than sorry, for he would not live long if something happened to the girl.

Sesshoumaru had been gone for over an hour when Jaken felt the powerful force of his Lords' youki. He felt the power of a miko as well. He knew that his master had gone to battle, for he had sensed the Oni and a miko's power when Sesshoumaru had left him. But after that last blast of miko power, he had not sensed anything else. Now, he felt both powers. Suddenly, a thought occurred to him. _A blast of miko power? And now both? And no Ogre? What… what if something has happened to my Lord? _Commanding Rin to stay with the dragon – which now had flowers adorning his two bridles – Jaken scrambled in the direction he felt his Lord's youki.

_Nan de? _

Sesshoumaru brought his hand to his throbbing head, only to smack himself on the skull with something hard. Cracking an eye open, he saw something metallic. His vision still a little blurry, after a few moments he saw that it was a glorious sword. _Why do I carry a sword?_ Feeling a weight upon him, he chanced lifting his head, which protested at the motion with further throbbing. Forcing himself to keep it off the tree he had apparently been resting it on, the youkai focused on his chest. Shiny ebony strands greeted him, and upon some painfully accomplished squinting, he made out the form of a woman. Surprised, Sesshoumaru – to the protestation of his body – attempted to sit up. The woman did not stir, and he took the opportunity to try to make sense of the situation. One, he was aching all over. Two, he woke up with a woman on top of him. Three, said woman smelled like him, and he like her. Their blood was mingled – he noticed the gashes on her side– and he also felt part of the power he knew resided in her within himself. As well, he sensed a bit of his youki in her. Who was this onna? Were they connected? How? Why? Of course, the serious questions only plagued him afterwards. _Who am I? Why do I carry swords? Why is this girl hurt, and why was she strewn across me? _His mind swirling with questions, he resorted to rubbing his temples with his fingers. When he had calmed a little, he looked down at the woman on his lap. _Our powers are intertwined, there is no doubt. Who is she to me?_ After thinking things through, Sesshoumaru came to the conclusion that the woman must be something akin to a wife to him. He reached down and ran his fingers through her hair, relishing their soft embrace. Now attempting to think more seriously, he gathered more information.

In retrospect, he remembered the wound on the woman. Obviously she had been hurt by something large. It comforted him to know it had not been himself that had hurt her. But why was he not hurt? Of course, he was achy and had the headache of two lifetimes, but he seemed otherwise intact. He inspected himself, removing the tiny hands from himself – he did not fail to notice how nice it felt to have her touch his skin – and looked for wounds. The only thing he found was a scar of newly formed skin on his side – almost in the same place her wound was. Had she shielded him? It was possible, but not likely. Although he was unsure of who he was the demon knew he had power to spare. He was unsure of how he constantly kept all that youki under control. The one thing he was sure of was that he cared for this fragile-looking, tiny woman. Underneath the smell of blood and tears – why had she been crying? – he could smell her natural, vanilla-like scent. He noticed also that there was a foul smell on several parts of his body. He found a type of lotion rubbed on many places, and smelled the source. The female had the smell was also on her hands, and in a small container to the side was the base. _So, she had been taking care of me,_ he contemplated. _And yet, she remains hurt? She cares for me before herself?_ He thought again of the fact that there were, in fact, no wounds on his body. Did she have some sort of healing ability? He could sense the power inside her – weak from overuse – but was unsure of what type of power it was. He was certain, though, that she had used her power to help him.

He took a moment to slide to the floor, taking the girl with him and laying her in his lap once more. He looked around and found a towel, soaked with his blood. Now he was sure that something ill-omened had happened here and she had saved him, not bothering to take care of herself. He saw the bow next and finally noticed the small quiver next to her satchel. They smelled of her, and he wondered if she was skilled in Kyudo. He smiled down at his little warrior and ran his fingers through her hair again. He rummaged through her things and found bandages. Through instinct, he managed to wrap the wound in the white cloth, after ripping away quite a bit of the cloth until only some cloth remained on her breasts. She had an odd-looking wrapping around her lower half, shielding her most intimate parts, but not leaving much to the imagination. When he satisfied that the wound would at least stop bleeding, he lay still, with her head in his lap, stroking her hair and face. She was quite beautiful, and he wondered if he loved the woman. He couldn't remember, but who couldn't love this brave, powerful, compassionate, selfless woman? Chancing an embrace, Sesshoumaru wrapped his arms around her, taking great care not to cause her wound more pain.

He nuzzled her, taking in her scent. He would like to be able to wash the blood from her, as well as himself, but he hadn't the slightest idea where a body of water was, let alone where _he_ was. But wait – he was a powerful dog demon, ne? Therefore… Sesshoumaru reached out with his senses, trying to locate a river, a stream, a lake – anything – through scent or sound. He smelled a lake, but it was quite far, and he didn't want to move her that much, due to her injury. But… he heard something else. Something that could be threatening. A youkai, albeit a small, weak one. He placed the girl gently on the ground, hovering above her. Growling slightly, he bared his fangs and readied his claws, which to his great surprise began to glow green. He felt enormous power in them, and he clawed the tree trunk he had woken up on. To his astonishment, the bark began to melt with jyaki that had apparently come from his claws. _Interesting_, he thought. Turning his attention back to the sounds of the nearing youkai, he growled again.

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" he heard in the direction of the approaching demon.

_Killing Perfection? Who would have such a morbid name?_ Narrowing his eyes, he waited for the demon to come into the clearing, to assess whether it was truly a threat.

A few yards to the right, a small, green toad youkai came rushing into the field wielding a strange staff. _Better not to judge by looks alone_, he decided, and growled a warning to the little youkai. The smaller demon turned quickly and recognized his master immediately.

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" he cried, all-to-happy to see his Lord safe. He began to run towards the crouching Sesshoumaru.

_This… this demon knows me, and addresses me as Lord?_ Sesshoumaru stopped growling and allowed the jyaki to calm, but he did not relieve his posture.

"Sesshoumaru-sama… oh, the miko! Were you going to kill the wench?" Jaken asked innocently.

Sesshoumaru gave a mighty snarl and bared his teeth at Jaken. "Baka! Why would I kill her?" he growled. _Wait… miko? He knows her as well?_

"F-forgive me, my Lord! I meant no harm!" Jaken groveled, bowing low in respect. "I assumed she had harmed you with her powers. Your servant came running when he felt both your powers… Oh! Do not be angry with me for leaving Rin with Ah-Un!"

"Why would she harm me?" he snarled. _Servant? This youkai serves me?__ Rin? Ah-Un?_ Sesshoumaru could feel his headache worsening.

Jaken was stunned and afraid of his Lords' wrath, but would not dare leave a question unanswered. "She… your brother… her powers…" was all he could manage.

"Enough," Sesshoumaru ground out. _Perhaps the others are servants. Maybe they can help me tend to the woman._

The toad seemed to be afraid of him, and he supposed he could get more honest answers by allowing the little youkai to believe he was intact – not this state he was in where he hadn't even known his name until now. Besides, who gave him such a silly name? Although in retrospect, it seemed fitting, since not only did he have great power, but it seemed his servant was afraid of said power. So he made the decision to play along.

"Where are Rin and Ah-Un?" he asked, narrowing his eyes for effect. The names felt odd on his tongue, yet familiar, which gave him hope.

The little youkai squeaked in horror. "I-I'm sorry, my Lord! I left Rin with Ah-Un where you had left us. Rin will be safe with the dragon… Do not kill me! Remember, Tenseiga only works once and you have already revived me…"

_Dragon? If it were big enough, it might be able to transfer the woman…_ "Find them, and bring them here." _Tenseiga? Revive? What nonsense does he speak of? And why would I kill my own servant?_

"B-but, my Lord… your brother…"

"_Now_."

With another squeal, Jaken ran off into the forest, calling out behind him,"Y-yes, my Lord! Right away!"

Proud of himself, he nuzzled the woman_. I will get you help soon_. Something annoyed him in the back of his mind, and it tugged at his memory. _Yes, the imp had said something about a brother. But he assumed I wouldn't want to see this brother. Why? Are we not on good terms?_ He surmised that since he was a 'Lord', then perhaps his brother and he were not on good terms due to Royal status. Not wanting to dwell on it, he brought his attention back to the woman. _It is my turn to care for you,_ he told her silently. _My little miko…_ He took the opportunity to cover the woman's breasts with his obi, forming a makeshift tube top.

Not a scant ten minutes later, Jaken reappeared, and Sesshoumaru again was ready with claws and fangs. He had felt ambushed, not expecting the servant to return via flight. Shock had not been the proper word when he saw them landing a few feet away.

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" a girl called out. _She addresses me as Lord as well? _

He was reservedly glad, because he knew the girl to be ningen, and for a moment he believed the girl to be the onna's mother. But if she was his servant as well, that was unlikely. If she had been the daughter of the woman, then it would mean that the woman was not his, because this girl was certainly not hanyou. Sesshoumaru inwardly congratulated himself for his ability to reason. He stood, knowing none of them to be a threat to his person. He was thoroughly shocked once more, when the girl not only ran over and proceeded to attach herself to his waist, but cried in surprise.

"Kagome-sama!" she called out, bringing her hands to her face for emphasis. Then she scolded the imp, much to his amusement. "Jaken-sama, you did not tell Rin that Kagome-sama was here. And she's hurt!" They bickered, and he tuned them out, lost in his thoughts.

_Kagome_, Sesshoumaru thought. _Her name is Kagome_. A strange feeling came to him, and he felt very calm. As an afterthought, he memorized the name of his servant as well. He surmised that the dragon was Ah-Un, which was fitting. He watched as the girl began to fuss over Kagome, inspecting the damage. She turned to him.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, you aren't hurt, are you?" she asked worriedly.

Sesshoumaru gave her a gentle smile, which apparently made her day, because she beamed.

"But we need to take care of Kagome-sama," she said sternly, and he nodded.

"Rin, bring Ah-Un, and I will place Kagome on him for transport," he instructed.

He did not miss the looks of bewilderment that both of his retainers gave him, but she was obedient and did as she was told, talking to the two-headed beast as she used its' reins to guide it to Kagome's body. He quirked an eyebrow at Jaken, who seemed to squirm beneath his gaze.

_The master, he referred to himself as 'I'_, Jaken thought, worried that his Lord would kill him for thinking such thoughts.

_My Lord__ explained exactly what he was doing… that's odd_, Rin thought as she lined the dragon up next to the fallen miko.

Sesshoumaru knew they suspected something, but what he did not know. And he wouldn't know unless he asked, but that would give away too much. Gently lifting Kagome, he placed her carefully into the saddle, making sure she would not harm herself further.

"Rin will ride, too, so Kagome-sama doesn't fall," the girl said, and Sesshoumaru nodded his approval. Jaken was forgotten, and he merely climbed onto the dragon, settling on its' rump. "Come, Ah-Un, we must get Kagome-sama to a river," she told the beast, and it grunted in reply as it took to the skies gently.

He watched them and began to walk in the direction they were flying, and wished he could fly along with them. Suddenly, he felt his youki flare. In moments, Sesshoumaru was gliding though the air behind them. It took a few seconds to learn to control it, but he found that it was easy. He left his armor behind.

Jaken looked down at his Lord, and wondered why he hesitated. But he felt his masters' youki and pushed the thought away.

Many miles away, after they passed into the Western Lands, they found a river that his retainers obviously knew very well. The flight to the waterway had been informative, and Sesshoumaru made sure to keep close, although he knew he could hear them from quite some distance.

"Jaken-sama, we're home," Rin exclaimed happily. "Now it is not too far before the river!"

"Yes, Rin. We are back in the Western Lands. It is good to be back," he replied, tears in his eyes.

"Jaken-sama," the girl scolded, "we only left this morning for Inuyasha-sama's village to get my new kimono." She turned to Sesshoumaru. "Sesshoumaru-sama, will we go back for Rin's kimono?"

Sesshoumaru considered both the information and the question. "Perhaps after Kagome is healed," he told her. _Inuyasha? That was a more appropriate name_, Sesshoumaru thought. How had he gotten stuck with this one?

The look was there again, in both servants' eyes.

_He speaks about her with such familiarity!_ Jaken exclaimed in the echoes of his mind. Then, something sparked in his tiny brain. "S-Sesshoumaru-sama… we are keeping the miko until she is healed? That could take weeks! After all, she is a filthy ningen onna-"

Jaken was cut off by lack of oxygen, as Sesshoumaru clamped a strong hand over the imp's throat. Snarling, he picked Jaken up off the dragon's behind. "You will not question me," he growled menacingly. "And do _not_ speak of Kagome in that manner." Rin gave him a smile of approval and he placed a shell-shocked Jaken back onto Ah-Un's rear. He said nothing more, but his eyes still flashed with anger.

Within minutes, they reached a river which Ah-Un promptly landed in.

Rin laughed. "Ah-Un," she chided gently, "you should have put us on the grass." The beast simply grunted.

Sesshoumaru landed on the bank, but promptly joined them, not bothering to remove his boots; where the dragon had landed, the water was not high enough to get in his boots. Rin helped him lower Kagome and he held her while Rin got down. Jaken simply watched wearily from the bank as Sesshoumaru lowered Kagome to the water.

"Ee… to…"

"Rin?" Sesshoumaru questioned.

"Well, shouldn't I do this? I mean, she's a girl like Rin, and Sesshoumaru-sama is…" Rin blushed, and Sesshoumaru got the hint, but did not waver.

He shook his head gently. "It's fine, Rin. I will care for her," he told her. Rin looked between the two a few times, but gave up, not wanting to question her masters' intentions. She nodded and guided Ah-Un to the bank, where he grazed on the luscious shoots of grass that grew there.

With his back to the others to guard her from the others' eyes, he removed his obi and threw it to the bank, where Rin promptly folded the impossible length into some sort of semblance of order. He looked for a way to remove the cloth that covered her lower half, but could find no tucks or folds. There was a strange metal lever, but there the cloth was put together in a strong binding. _Odd, this clothing she wears_, he thought. He attempted to pull the skirt down, but it held tight against her shapely hips. One arm around her hip and the other supporting her back and head, he could not help but think this to be natural. He tried to think of something else. Pulling it over her head would have probably worked, except that that would graze it along her wound, but that would not do. He would not stand to cause her more damage than had already been done on his behalf. He tried to think of something else.

"Rin," he called.

"Hai," she replied, splashing into the shallow water.

"Do you know how to remove this… cloth?" he asked, touching the navy blue skirt.

"Nani? Ee to… iie. Gomen nasai," she said, her eyes downcast.

He nodded to her, and she returned to the dragon.

He tried to think of something else.

But he had run out of options.

He would not ask the toad.

He tried to think of something else, but there was nothing else. So he neatly ripped the band of the skirt, making it loose enough to slip over her thighs and off of her. "Aisumimasen," he said softly, allowing only her subconscious to hear him.

When Rin saw him flippantly toss the ruined clothing to the bank, she cringed. _Uh-oh. Kagome-sama is not gonna be happy…_ As if he could sense her thought, Sesshoumaru looked over his shoulder at her and gave her a pleading look. Rin was surprised, yet delighted at this rare show of emotion, and shrugged, trying to convey that there was nothing else he could do. He seemed to be at ease, and he turned back to the miko.

It was only now that he noticed the small triangle of cloth that covered her most intimate of body parts. His eyes drawn to it, he noted how it hugged her curves, the violet color striking against her light skin. The strings that held the front and back pieces together draped sexily across her curvy hips, and he could not help but trace the strong muscles of her thigh. Tearing his eyes away, Sesshoumaru tried to force himself to continue his task.

Lowering her gently into the water, he knelt, paying no heed to how wet he was becoming in doing so. He removed the bandage that he had wrapped around her torso and tossed it aside. His hand brushed against her breast in the process, and he felt the heat of arousal flare up within him. His youki howled, begging to claim the miko, and he wondered if it had always been as so. _Of course_, he scoffed at himself. Once he had placed her so that he could use his hands freely, her body in the water and her upper body laying in his lap, he began to gently cup his hands in the cool water and let it run onto her wounds. He did this several times, allowing her skin to wet thoroughly. With one last scoop, he wet her wounds once more, this time rubbing at her skin, washing the blood from it. He stayed away from the raw openings, though, only allowing the water itself to enter.

Jaken watched intently, noting the care Sesshoumaru took with the wench. He also noticed that Rin was watching their Lord with joy in her eyes. He scowled, but said nothing.

Rin, now bored, decided that she needed to do something. Glancing around, she noticed that Kagome's things were not among the things that were strewn about the bank. Knowing full well the miko did not go anywhere without those things, she decided to take action.

"Sesshoumaru-sama," she chirped. Not allowing him to answer, but noticing the brief tilt of his head, she continued. "Kagome-sama's pack – it was left behind. I will take Ah-Un to get it." She saw him nod approvingly. "Jaken-sama, will you help?" she asked.

The imp looked at her contemptuously. _What is that girl up to?_ He frowned, but he would not allow Rin to travel that far away without protection, despite the fact he knew she would take Ah-Un.

Sesshoumaru heard the small youkai make a displeased noise, but nevertheless climbed behind Rin onto the dragon's back. He watched as they took off.

He looked down at the miko, admiring her fine bone structure and silky hair. He caressed her face with a long finger, and bent to capture her lips in a kiss. He became concerned, however, since she did not even stir. He hadn't known how long he had been unconscious, but it had been a few hours that he had been awake, and yet, there had not been a single movement from the woman. Frowning, he returned to the task of cleansing her. He realized, offhand, that the sun was getting low in the sky. It concerned him that he knew not if he had a home. Did any of them have a home?

He was still kneeling in the river, soaking wet, when his entourage returned. Ah-Un landed in the water once again, this time drinking from it. Rin happily splashed into the water, but Jaken remained. One of the dragon's two heads turned a weary eye to him, and it unnerved him, for he knew how powerful the dragon's breath was. But it went to join its' brother in drinking, and Jaken let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding.

Sesshoumaru watched Rin bring the box with the bandages, and sounded his appreciation, for he hadn't thought that he would need to bandage it again. "Arigatou," she heard him say.

Grinning again at the change in her master, Rin handed him the bandages, and she watched him begin to wrap Kagome's wounds again. Remembering something, Rin removed the blood-stained towel from the pink satchel she had placed it in. Also kneeling in the water, Rin washed it as best she could, scrubbing it between rocks.

As he tucked an end of the white cloth into itself, Sesshoumaru was about to stand when he realized something. The woman was almost naked. How would they travel like this? Everyone would see… His eyes flashing red, a shielding growl escaped him.

Jaken was thinking when he heard his master's threatening growl, and it made him shiver. He wondered what it was that had made his Lord react in such a way, and he hated to think that anything would be the recipient of his Lords' anger. Although now that he thought about it, the master had made the same noise not too long ago when he had been scolded…

"Sesshoumaru-sama?" Rin ventured, knowing that her Lord was displeased.

"How will she travel…"

Rin heard the tightness in his voice, and understood. She thought carefully. "Well, your obi…"

"It is not enough to cover all of her."

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Sesshoumaru stood, a resolute expression on his face. Rin watched with interest, and then turned, blushing when she saw that he was taking his kimono off.

He removed the clothing quickly and lifted it, so the ends would not get any wetter. He lifted Kagome and tried desperately to pull her arms through and allow it to fall over her body, while attempting to keep it from dipping into the water. He asked for his obi, and he heard Rin splash through the water to reach it, and noticed she did not look at him as she passed it to him. Scrunching the fabric to keep it out of the water, and tying the obi around her hips to avoid her wound, the end result was something that looked like a toga-dress cross. Rin giggled a little and nodded her approval, still avoiding to look at Sesshoumaru himself.

"Shall we go home?" he voiced, and his retainers heard the question in his voice.

He could tell that Rin was visibly confused, and this alarmed him. Jaken was the one who spoke.

"Aisumimasen, Sesshoumaru-sama… ano…" the imp stammered. A quirked eyebrow from his Lord made him continue. "We are home. We are in the Western Lands, are we not? Have Rin and I been mistaken?"

Sesshoumaru tried to process the information quickly. "Hai. Gomen, Jaken." So, there was no particular home? Did they just roam around the countryside? Apparently so…

Nervous, the toad fidgeted. "Iie, Sesshoumaru-sama! It is I that am sorry!"

Sesshoumaru ignored the groveling of the imp on the dragon's back as he pondered their predicament. So… he would have to procure a shelter, or at least somewhere safe for them to bed down for the night? Agreeing with his inner self, Sesshoumaru began to rise out of the water. Without a word, he took to the skies, attempting to find somewhere safe to make camp for the night. He felt the pangs of hunger and wondered if his miko would need food as well. He wasn't sure what the needs of his body were telling him to procure for nutrition, and he was equally unsure of what the woman would eat. Luckily, he had the ningen girl. She would undoubtedly find something, as he was sure she would be hungry as well.

It took a few seconds for Rin and Jaken to process what happened, but they understood that they were moving deeper into the lands, and Rin hopped onto Ah-Un's back, joining Jaken. The dragon, who had seen their master's departure and was awaiting instructions, took off the moment Rin grabbed its' reins.

Soon enough, a familiar feeling washed over Sesshoumaru as he spotted a small clearing, with trees surrounding it. He noticed that there were ashes of wood, and the area smelled slightly like him. _So, I have__ used this area recently?_ He floated down to it, landing gracefully. He heard the excited chatter of Rin as they, too, landed.

"But Jaken, I like this place! There's a strawberry field nearby…"

So, she already plans to gather food… "Rin."

"Yes, my Lord," Rin said expectantly. It was a statement rather than a question.

"Will you gather food for Kagome as well?"

Rin was pleased that he had asked and not ordered. "Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama!" she chirped. "Ano…"

He quirked an eyebrow at her.

"Rin can't get meat. Unless Rin goes back to the river for fish…"

So, they ate foods from the ground and animals? His own stomach turned, making it known that such foods would not be acceptable for himself. But it would be easy for him to obtain some type of flesh for the females.

He nodded at Rin. "Do what you can, and I shall find something for the two of you," he told her. Rin immediately ran off to find food. The dragon ambled after her.

He placed Kagome on a patch of particularly soft patch of grass and admired the way his clothes fit her and how her midnight strands flowed around her face.

Jaken was shocked. There had been an extreme change in his master's character. He was kind, considerate, and talked more than he had. Unacceptable for a daiyoukai! Scowling, Jaken settled against the log he had used the last time they had been here. _So excited to be here, _Jaken thought, _yet the foolish girl has no idea of the creatures that hunt her at night as she sleeps! Unaware of how our Lord tirelessly protect__s her all night, so that she may__ sleep peacefully!_ Now that he thought about it, Sesshoumaru hadn't changed that much. He had always protected Rin and made sure she had naught for want. But, he was still different. Also, there was the problem of Inuyasha's wench. The master had never taken a liking to her before, so what was different? The filthy hanyou was sure to come looking for her, and if his master was serious, then that would ultimately mean death for the half-breed. Drifting off to sleep, Jaken prattled on in his thoughts. He was rudely awakened when the boot of his Lord was prodded into his side. _Well, perhaps he has not changed that much_…

"You have need of my service?" Jaken asked, trying to keep the annoyance from his voice, lest he have a death wish.

Sesshoumaru nodded. "Guard the miko with your life, unless you wish for me to take it now," he growled.

He had come to a difficult decision. He either had to take the woman with him, or leave her with Jaken. He wasn't sure if he could secure a meal if he was busy worrying whether she was uncomfortable or he was going to drop her.

Jaken gulped, visibly shaken with the implication. "Hai, my Lord," Jaken said. He scooted closer to the human, using his staff to give the impression of a guard.

Satisfied, Sesshoumaru stalked into the forest. Now, with a task at hand, he shook with anticipation, seeking a kill. Of course, he did not need much, but his youki wailed again, begging for a kill. Mentally shaking himself, Sesshoumaru felt the urge to run deeper into the forest. When he gave in to the compulsion, he marveled at the speed he took. He realized that there were probably few that could match it, and wondered for the umpteenth time what sort of Lord he had been.

Further into the forest, a bare-chested Sesshoumaru caught the scent of prey, and although it was not what he intended for the humans, his youki again clawed and shrieked, begging to go after what it was. At the same time, he felt the strong desire to feed. Understanding, he allowed the wants of his inner-demon to take over, and he went about the task of hunting whatever it was he smelled. Soon, he could hear it as well as he drew silently closer. His instinct supplied him with the answer to what his intelligence could not disclose. _Deer youkai_, instinct told him. His eyes flashed red, and he could feel his claws and fangs lengthening. The irrepressible urge to feed teared at his insides, and he could barely think comprehensively. Silently, deadly, stealthily, the daiyoukai crept downwind of his prey. The deer was feeding on the acorns that had fallen from its' tree, popping them into his mouth. Sesshoumaru had taken to the trees, quietly bounding closer. When he was finally in the tree behind the deer, he listened to it munch on its' food as he waited for his opportunity. The deer youkai bent, attempting to pick another morsel from the ground. Instinct told Sesshoumaru to pounce, and pounce he did. The buck's' heart was in Sesshoumaru's hand before it had known it was being stalked, and it died quickly and quietly. Sesshoumaru placed the muscle aside, opting to drink greedily from the still flowing wound. His fangs sunk deep and sure, and when the blood flowed no more, due to the missing heart, he learned a lesson. Turning his attention to the heart, he devoured it, the crimson liquid trailing down the sides of his mouth and dripping to his chest, sliding down the smooth, pale skin.

Satiated, Sesshoumaru felt the need to clean. Searching for a stream, he found a small brook nearby. Cleansing his hands and mouth first, he turned his attention to his chest. He frowned displeasingly at the sight of the smallest tinge of brown on the uppermost part of his hakama. Growling at himself, he learned another lesson. Clean and satisfied, he went about the simple task of attaining a rabbit for the ningen females. Now that he had hunted, he easily caught it and scoffed at himself for doubting that he could have handled both his prey and Kagome. Unfortunately, he was reminded that had she woken up, he would not have liked the first thing she saw to be him eating the heart of another youkai. He had made the right choice. With that, he ran through the forest, back to their camp.

There were some very wrong sounds coming from the clearing that he had left his party in. He was about to growl when he thought better of it, not wanting to jump to conclusion. Or alert an enemy to his presence. He heard Jaken's whiny voice yelling, and ducked to the side as a powerful beam of light crashed through the woods towards him. When he was able to refocus, he noticed that it had come from one of Ah-Un's heads. But the focus of the beast was not on him as its' tail lashed violently. Sesshoumaru stalked to camp, listening. Obviously, a youkai had caught the scent of the inhabitants of the clearing, and wanted the woman. _His_ woman. But Jaken had remained true, and Ah-Un had returned, also defending its' mistress. He smiled at the loyalty of his subjects. He watched as Jaken cursed the offending youkai and a stream of fire came from the staff he carried. Impressed, Sesshoumaru was content to watch as his retainers fought for him, although he knew that he would finish this. He listened to Rin insult the bear youkai and tell it to leave, else there would be dire consequences if their master returned. Beaming internally, he wondered what he had done to earn such respect from his subjects. He heard Rin scream as the bear swiped a mighty paw at her, only to be knocked down as Ah-Un slammed its' tail against him in retaliation. Roaring angrily, he jumped to his feet, and changing tactics, leapt for the sleeping woman. Jaken, eyes wide with horror, realized he would not have enough time to react, and Rin screamed again when she realized what was going to happen. Sesshoumaru had had enough.

With the speed of a god, Sesshoumaru stopped in front of the bear, holding its' wrist in his hand. Crushing the bones, he winced as the bear howled in pain; his youki rejoiced. With a quick movement, he hurled the youkai through the trees and followed, sparing the girl the sight of what he had to do. Once out of sight, he approached the crazed bear who, in his pain, went mad with rage. The creature rushed him, teeth gnashing, wanting blood. With a swift movement of his arm, Sesshoumaru neatly sliced through the thick hide of the bear youkai's neck and it fell to the ground, blood spurting as it drowned in its' own blood.

Flicking his claws to remove the small amount of blood they acquired, he walked back into the clearing.

"Daijoubou-ka?" he asked.

Rin grinned. "Hai," she told him cheerily. Jaken simply nodded.

Sesshoumaru walked over to Ah-Un. "Jaken," he said in a low voice that made the little youkai fear for his life.

The toad made an 'eep' sound, but found his voice. "H-hai, my Lord?" he managed. Surely his master will be angry that he had allowed such scum into his camp.

"Good work. You kept Kagome safe," he told the imp.

Jaken fainted, and Rin giggled.

"You too, Rin. And you, Ah-Un," he said, patting one of the dragons' heads. The other head vied for attention, grunting, and he patted that one as well.

"Domo arigatou," Rin offered, slipping from the beasts' back.

Sesshoumaru noticed that the girl carried many fruits, as well as some mushrooms, in an alcove she had made with the bottom of her kimono. Remembering the rabbit, he briefly walked through the trees to retrieve the animal he had dropped when he rushed forward to protect Kagome. He looked to her now, realizing she hadn't moved the entire time, and again he was plagued by worry. He dropped the rabbit and stooped to touch Kagome. Her skin was a little too cool to the touch, and he needed to build a fire – now. As if sensing his fear, Rin pulled up next to him.

"Jaken is already asleep, so Ah-Un will make a fire," she told him.

He nodded, considering that Jaken was probably the one who started the fire with the staff. He watched, interested, as Rin hummed to herself as she picked up dried pieces of wood on the outskirts of the clearing. She also brought a pile of dried leaves and sprinkled them atop the wooden pile. Picking up a piece of cloth from within Kagome's satchel, she wrapped it around a large branch and brought it to the dragon. The left head snuffed as the right one stretched towards the wood and blew a small flame, igniting the cloth. Sesshoumaru smiled as he watched the girl place the now-burning wood on the firewood pile and sat next to it to enjoy the warmth. Picking up the rabbit, he sat next to the girl, but she took it from him. Procuring a small knife with a golden hilt from inside her kimono, she began to shear the hide from the animal. When she was finished, she fetched a metal rod from Ah-Un's saddle and pierced the rabbit with it, centering it. There were a few more metal pieces, and then she was assembling them over the fire. She finished by spearing the mushrooms on either side of the meat, and rubbing it all with an herb that was in the pile of items she had returned with. She placed the item-clad rod between two erect rods that she had placed on either side of the fire, and Sesshoumaru wondered at the girl as he realized she was cooking everything. He scrunched his nose at the smell, but if it was nutritious to them, he would endure it.

Turning his attention to Kagome, he stood and picked her up, sitting again by the fire and placing her in his lap. He stroked the silky strands from her face, lingering to keep contact with her skin. The two sat in companionable silence as Rin waited for the food to cook, and Sesshoumaru waited for Kagome to awaken.

After approximately half an hour, Rin stood and went once again to the dragons' saddle, where she fished out a heavy cloth and a small piece of wood. The cloth she used, he would see, to remove the rod and its' contents from above the fire, and then used the wood to keep the food off the ground. She allowed it to cool for several minutes, and then used the cloth and her knife to push everything off the rod and onto the block. To his surprise, she looked up at him. She was waiting for something. She glanced at Kagome, and he realized. She was unsure if she was allowed to eat, since Kagome had not awakened.

"Eat, Rin," he told her, and she smiled happily as she began to cut off pieces of meat and popped mushrooms into her mouth.

After an hour, after Rin had finished and settled next to the log to sleep, and after Jaken had woken up and settled back down to real sleep against a tree, Sesshoumaru allowed himself the luxury of allowing himself to be tired. He sensed no danger, and was very groggy. He allowed himself to ponder the miko once more. Knowing nothing about the inner workings of a human, he guessed that it was probably the loss of blood that made her sleep for so long. Perhaps she was healing herself, being a priestess. Attempting to resist sleep, Sesshoumaru decided to lay down, since it would be easier to hold her. He dropped to his side, Kagome in front of him and facing the fire. He placed an arm around her, clutching her to his chest. Breathing deeply, he ingrained the sweet, vanilla smell of the woman into his memory as he felt himself drift off to sleep.

End Chapter

* * *

E/N: 

A little glossary for those that don't know. I put them in order that they appear (because I'm OCD like that). Please, if I get something wrong, let me know. Kthnxbai.

Ofuda - spell scrolls embedded with spiritual energy.

Oni - Ogre.

Hama no Ya - Kagome's Sacred Arrows.

Shikon no Tama - Jewel of Four Souls.

Sengoku Jidai - Feudal Era.

Miko - Priestess.

Kyudo - The Way of the Bow.

Youkai - demon.

Kazaana - Miroku's Wind Tunnel. (Well, ex-wind tunnel, lol)

Hama no Reiryoku - Kagome's Purification powers.

Kitsune - Fox Demon

Ningen - human.

Bakusaiga - for those not current, Sesshoumaru has his old arm back and a new, extremely powerful sword, Bakusaiga. They were both created from his own youki when he no longer cared to posses Tessaiga. More on Bakusaiga when it calls for it...

Onna - woman.

Youki - demon's aura that can be detected by other demons or those with spiritual powers.

"Nan de" - similar to "what the...".

Daiyoukai - a great, god-like demon.

Obi - an intricate, huge cloth that when folded properly, serves as a "belt" for those who wear kimono.

Kaze no Kizu - Wound of the Wind, or Wind Scar.

Tanuki - badger demon, often referred to as 'raccoon dogs'.

"Daijoubou-ka" - "Are you ok?"

"Hai" - "yes".

"Ano" - "but".

Taijiya - Demon Exterminator.

Houshi - Monk.

Nekomata – a two-tailed cat. (it is implied that it is of demon origin)

Jyaki - Miasma, poisonous fumes.

"Ee to" - similar to "Umm..."

"Nani" - similar to "huh" or "what"

"Iie" - "No"

"Gomen/ Gomen Nasai" - using 'gomen' by itself is like saying 'sorry', whereas 'gomen nasai' is like saying 'I'm really sorry'.

"Aisumimasen" - similar to Gomen Nasai, but more proper and personal. "Forgive me".

"Arigatou/ Domo Arigatou" - Whereas 'arigatou' itself is 'thank you', 'domo arigatou' is like 'thank you very much'.


	2. II

**A/N:** For those not familiar with me, I am also working on an older story (Choices) and a brand-new story, No One Like You (not submitted yet). So I'm sorry if I become slow with the updates. I'm trying, though. For my debut of That's the Way Love Goes, I got many encouraging reviews, and I want to take the time to acknowledge those that supported the first chapter of this story. I hope they will continue to read. **At ****FanFiction**: Kikinu, Shrimps of mass destruction, moondust369 – thank you all! **At MediaMiner: **whimsy007 – thank you for the constructive criticism! I will strive to keep my characters as realistic as possible. buzzk97 - I'm glad you like this one, and I hope you continue to enjoy it. **At A Single Spark: **Noacat – Thank you so much!!! Reviews like yours are pure love to me! I'm so happy, I'M the one that should be crying, LOL. SesshysKagome: Glad you enjoyed it! WiccanMethuselah – Your words made me giggle with glee!! I'm so happy you enjoyed it so much. I'm trying to get the chapters out ASAP, but as I've said, I have other projects… Thanks you SO MUCH for all the compliments! It means so much to me. **At deviantART**: luvtodraw, LazyJenny, and no1sangel – thank you all for your support! I hope this chapter answers a little more of your questions. BTW, just so you all know, I encourage emailing me personally. I don't mind! Enjoy! Remember, Reviews are Love! 3 Pita

Chapter II

When Sesshoumaru awoke, it was well into the morning. He wondered if he always slept that long. He felt a weight on his shoulder, and looked down to see the onyx-colored locks of a beautiful woman resting on his shoulder. Things came back to him slowly – waking on the edge of a forest with a bloody miko on top of him, tending her wounds, hunting, his subjects, the fact that he was Royalty – but he could not remember the things that occurred before these events. His head throbbed slightly, and he tried not to think too much. Remembering his retainers, he sat up slowly, posing the woman comfortably. Looking around, he saw no one else save Kagome. _Curious_, he thought. From the scents in the area, he could tell that they hadn't been gone for very long. Once again, he wondered if this was common. Standing, Sesshoumaru wondered what someone in his position did with his free time. He was a strong demon, yes. Did he normally patrol his lands? How large of an area did his lands encompass? It was too much to think about. Fortunately, he didn't have to think for long, because he soon heard the heavy footsteps of his dragon youkai, Ah-Un. The cheery prattle of Rin and the annoyed sighs of Jaken joined it, and soon, they were all back in the camp.

"Ohayou gozaimasu, Sesshoumaru-sama!" Rin chirped.

"Ohayou," he said to Rin, and nodded to Jaken, who bowed low.

Sesshoumaru tried to carefully word his next question. "Was your morning peaceful, Rin?"

Rin grinned happily at the interest her Lord was taking in her. "Oh yes, my Lord! Rin went to find breakfast as usual-" she pulled something from the dragons' saddlebag, "and brought something for Kagome-sama as well. Then Rin went to bathe, and we came back."

She showed him the contents of a small sack she had made using the now-clean towel. It contained a few nuts and berries.

Sesshoumaru looked at the woman still lying on the ground. He must have looked troubled, for Rin mirrored his expression.

"Sesshoumaru-sama? Will Kagome-sama be ok? She's been sleeping for a long time…"

He looked to her and smiled gently. "I think so," he assured her.

In truth, he wasn't sure. From what instinct and his senses told him, humans were weak and fragile. His miko was an exception – he could feel a power within her that did not resign in Rin. He could be wrong, but it seemed as if youkai were superior, and therefore such injuries that she had obtained could eventually prove to be fatal. He was hopeful, however. His keen hearing could pick up the sound of her strong heart, pumping slowly but normally. She did not smell sick, either. She was healing. Obviously it was not only her wounds that kept her in slumber, for she most likely would have been awake by now. Something else was hindering her progress.

All the while, Rin had been rooting around in Kagome's satchel. Sesshoumaru was curious, although he felt that it was wrong.

"Rin, you should not look through someone else's belongings," he admonished gently.

"I know, Sesshoumaru-sama," she said, lowering her head. "But should Kagome-sama wake up, I want to have whatever she needs prepared."

Sesshoumaru seemed pleased with this answer. Jaken, however, had been silent, and this bothered the Taiyoukai. He quirked an eyebrow at the imp, who seemed to shiver under his masters' scrutiny.

"M-m-master?"

"Jaken." He did not want to ask the little youkai. He already suspected too much, and it would not be befitting of a Lord to ask a servant what was to be done.

Jaken seemed to be caught in the thought process, and finally mustered the strength to speak.

"Sesshoumaru-sama… is my Lord ready for the daily patrol?"

Sesshoumaru was pleased. So, they did patrol. Was this all they did? Travel the lands? Looking for what, exactly? His inner beast growled. Prey, it told him. So, he purposely went looking for trouble? What kind of being had he previously been? Would it not make more sense to have a home – a castle, perhaps – and have others patrol for you? Sesshoumaru frowned at his former self. Finally, he nodded at the green youkai. Jaken immediately moved to jump atop the dragon but Sesshoumaru's foot promptly stopped all movement, pinning the toad to the ground by his back. Jaken made a little squeaking noise.

"Jaken, assist Rin in cleaning this area. It must be cleaner so as not to attract more attention in the future," he ordered.

Jaken bowed, and hurried to scatter the ashes of the fire, as Rin took down the rods that had cooked her food the night before. When they whole party was ready, Sesshoumaru lifted the miko and Rin hopped aboard Ah-Un, followed closely by Jaken.

"Jaken," Sesshoumaru called.

"Y-yes, my Lord?"

Sesshoumaru was getting impatient with the way the little demon constantly tripped over his own tongue. "You may lead the way today," he told the youkai, dipping his head slightly in agreement.

Eyes wider than any of them thought possible, Jaken collected his pride. He nodded, and moved to the front of Ah-Un, and they took to the sky. Sesshoumaru followed by leaping from tree to tree.

Sesshoumaru had known he would not be able to lead the little party, being that he did not know where his own lands lay. But as they traveled, he picked up little clues. Occasionally, he smelled his own scent on a log, or saw his own claw marks on a tree. He congratulated his own cleverness, although he assumed his instinct had played a great part. After many hours of Rin's singing and Jaken's incessant squabbling at Rin's singing, Sesshoumaru could hear a body of water. More than a body of water, he heard the water furiously crashing against rocks. They were moving towards it, and Sesshoumaru found himself picking up his pace.

After nearly half an hour, they finally broke through the edge of the forest. About a quarter of a mile away, there was a lake with a river that led away from it to the south. The lake housed a cliff, which bore a waterfall. It was beautiful and serene, and Rin let them all know she was happy to be here.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, can we stay here for a bit?" Rin asked hopefully.

Sesshoumaru thought for a moment. He could smell a human village close by, which could prove useful. And if the miko should wake up, this area would be helpful for cleansing wounds and bathing, as well as drinking.

"Hai," he said finally.

Rin was pleased, and she asked permission to play in the lake. Sesshoumaru approved, but told her to stay near the shore. She protested, telling him that she had not forgotten the swimming lessons he had taught her. Sesshoumaru had been shocked, but she paid no mind, running to an area of the rocky waterfall that she knew intimately and removed her kimono in privacy, only to pop out in the water, several feet from the shore where she had disappeared. He made a mental note to explore the area later. Leaving Rin to her ministrations, Jaken took it upon himself to watch over the girl as Sesshoumaru watched over Kagome in the shade of a maple tree. He lay against the trunk, Kagome's back supported by his right arm and her legs across his lap. He placed her chin on his shoulder, and he nuzzled her, enjoying the crisp autumn air.

Feeling something stir, Sesshoumaru opened his eyes, realizing he had fallen asleep. Kagome had groaned, and his eyes instantly went to her face. What he saw did not please him. She was looking at him with sheer terror in her eyes, and her mouth had dropped open in a most unladylike fashion. He quirked an eyebrow and she seemed to take this as a sign, because she chose that moment to slap him.

Kagome was still so groggy; she wanted to drift back into unconsciousness. But her mind persisted that she awaken – something wasn't right. It was such a task just to open her eyes. She was completely and utterly drained… At first, she thought she might be at home, but she didn't feel her sheets, and she wasn't lying down. Although she had to admit she was comfortable, and whatever she was leaning on was quite soft. Then, she remembered the fight. Inuyasha, Sango, Miroku… then Shippou, and their flight. The Ogre. She was cornered, and then… Sesshoumaru. She had hurt him while trying to inadvertently save him. In all honesty, she had only been worried about herself. But if she was forced to think about it, Sesshoumaru was quite the ally. He had saved them - although he denied wanting to do so - many times. He had saved Kohaku as well. Sango had voiced to her many times how grateful she was to the Taiyoukai. _I guess Sesshoumaru isn't all that bad_, she thought. Remembering how she had cried over him, as he lay unconscious, Kagome felt sad again. But then she couldn't remember anymore. Had she lost consciousness herself? With the memories provided, Kagome assumed that Sesshoumaru left her, and her little group found her, bringing her back to Kaede's. But… she felt a strong, warm breeze. She couldn't be at Kaede's if the air was blowing so strongly. Perhaps they hadn't wanted to move her, resulting in a makeshift camp at her battle scene. Yes, that might be. Pleased with her line of reasoning, Kagome willed herself to finally open her eyes, hoping to find Inuyasha hovering over her like a mother hen. But it had not been Inuyasha's silver hair that had been swirling around her face. And it had not been Inuyasha's golden eyes that had met her surprised, blue ones. Her mind began to swirl with confusion. _Am I… dreaming? Am I imaging this?_ She continued to stare into the familiar yet foreign golden gaze. He seemed amused almost, and this only served to disturb her further. Kagome did the first thing that usually came to her when presented with a too-close inuyoukai male. She slapped him.

Stunned wasn't even the name for it. Sesshoumaru could only look at her. It didn't hurt, but it had bruised his ego. Why would his female assault his person?

Oh, he looks angry now, Kagome thought. She wondered if it would hurt. There were plenty of ways he could end her life. There were his claws, or he could opt to use the dokkusen in combination. There was Bakusaiga. She found herself wondering if he would kill her with the one sword, then bring her back to life with the other only to kill her again. His brute strength could tear her limb from limb. Idly, she wondered if this was what it meant to have one's life flash before their eyes.

If she wasn't already having a heart attack, his next words definitely put her into cardiac arrest.

"Kagome, daijoubou-ka?"

Not only could she not breathe, but now she was getting a headache from the adrenaline mixing with her lack of oxygen. _He wants to know if I'm __okay?__ And since when does the mighty Sesshoumaru call me anything but 'Inuyasha's bitch' or 'wench' or 'woman'?_ Her head swimming with questions, Kagome could only stare at him.

"Kagome, you are worrying me. Are you all right? You haven't spoken…" Sesshoumaru asked, concerned. On a side thought, he was overjoyed to see her awake, finally able to see her eyes. He gazed deep into them, swimming in the pools of blue that were her eyes.

"N-n-n-n-n-n-nani?" she stuttered.

Kagome figured she was dreaming. She had to be. Why else would Sesshoumaru be holding her in his lap? And why was he so concerned about her? It disturbed her to think that she was dreaming about Sesshoumaru in the first place. But, she decided, she might as well go along with it as long as she was dreaming. Taking a deep breath, she finally answered him.

"I'm fine, Sesshoumaru," she said, attempting to judge his reaction. He seemed relieved, and it amazed Kagome to no end how handsome he was.

"Good," he said, giving her a small nod.

Kagome put her head back on his shoulder, and thought to herself how nice it felt to have someone hold her. She snuggled into the Taiyoukai and mentally berated herself for enjoying it. After all, she should be dreaming of Inuyasha holding her like this. She felt him tighten his embrace of her, and she sighed in contempt.

Sesshoumaru had been worried, but after she had calmed some, it seemed that she actually was okay. When she put her head on his bare shoulder once more, his heart leapt. He reveled in her warmth and embrace, and he squeezed a little more, as if attempting to keep her from escaping. He heard her sigh happily, and he rested his chin atop her head as they both drifted to sleep.

From a distance, Jaken gawked at his Lord. Shocked at the lengths his master had gone – and then his allowing her to attack him brutally – he watched, wanting to beat the woman for her insolence. But he knew better. He sighed dejectedly. If his master was going to keep the wench, he knew any harm done to her would result in an immediate death. But… what had brought such a change about his master in the first place? He looked again to Rin, who had seemed to notice that Kagome had awakened, but she said nothing, only going back to playing in the shallows.

It hadn't been much later, by the look of the sun, that Kagome woke again. Unfortunately, due to her waking in the arms of the Taiyoukai again, this meant only two things: either she was still having a crazy dream, or this was real. She pinched herself, and found that it was rather painful, and she let everyone nearby know this by crying out.

"Kagome?" Sesshoumaru chanced.

Still not knowing what to make of the situation, Kagome was afraid to speak. There was so much concern in the eyes of the great demon that she almost thought she was staring at Inuyasha. But a small quirk of the head, and an elegantly striped left wrist that held the hand that was now on her shoulder reiterated to her that this was not her hanyou. Kagome frowned. How could this be real? There was no way Sesshoumaru could be holding her. Never in a million years. Not over his… dead… body…

…

Did they die? She could have sworn she had healed him, but hadn't she been wounded as well? It was they only thing that made sense. The overwhelming sadness that she would never see Inuyasha again, or her family, took over. The tears began to spill.

Now incredibly concerned, Sesshoumaru pulled her chin up to look at him. He again asked if she was ok. She could only wail, and he tried to comfort her by holding her close. Soon, she was down to intermittent sobs and he asked her once again if there was something wrong. She seemed to want to speak, and he waited patiently.

"D-d-did we die?" she said after a while.

"Die?" He asked, confused.

"H-hai. I thought I… I thought I healed you. But… we're here, and you're holding me, and I'm confused," was all she could say, because it was all she knew.

He was still confused, but he thought it best to try to placate her. "You did heal me," he said after a few moments. "But you did not remain unscathed."

He still spoke like the mighty Taiyoukai she knew, but this… Remembering his words, Kagome tried to twist to look at her wounds, but the motion only served to open her wounds a little, and it hurt so much she cried out in pain.

He tried to soothe her and get her to lie still, but she felt so sorry for herself in that moment that his words were lost on her. When her endorphins kicked in enough to allow her to sit comfortably, she was able to speak once more.

She exhaled, letting all air escape. "How did I… I mean, I don't recognize this area…"

Sesshoumaru was puzzled. How did she not recognize the area and yet his subjects did?

"We stopped to rest here. We had already cleaned your wounds, but kept moving to assure safety," he told her.

She looked around. "We?"

He tilted his head in that way that made her stifle a giggle. He looked so much like a puppy when he did that.

"Rin and Jaken," he explained.

"Oh!" She seemed to brighten at the names of his retainers, and this pleased him. "Where is Rin-chan?"

"She is playing in the lake, and Jaken is keeping watch over her," he told her, nodding his head in their direction.

Unfortunately, the direction was to her back, and to look in that direction would cause her much pain, so she opted to say hi later. For now, she had to figure out why she was in Inuyasha's brothers' lap.

"Ee to…" She was fiddling with her fingers again, and Sesshoumaru could tell she was anxious to speak her mind, although she was reluctant to do so.

He simply looked to the lake, sparing her from his gaze. This did not go unnoticed, and Kagome wondered if he truly was the same Sesshoumaru, or if he had a secret twin.

"S-Sesshoumaru?" she ventured.

He turned his golden eyes to her blue ones.

"Why… why am I in your lap?" She assumed that somehow, she had escaped death, but now she was asking for it. It was like asking someone to help you commit suicide.

He seemed truly bewildered. But so many questions would go unanswered if they were not truthful with each other, so whether he understood or not, he would answer the question.

"I wanted you close to me. You have been asleep for so long. I was worried that you might not wake again…"

There was something in his eyes that almost made Kagome reach out and caress his cheek, but she stopped herself. This was Sesshoumaru, after all. Even if he had invaded her personal space.

"How long have I been asleep?" she asked.

He seemed to think for a moment. "I woke the afternoon before last, and you were sleeping then."

Now it was she who thought for a moment. _The battle was two mornings ago, then_. That was when she had fought that Ogre, and Sesshoumaru had come crashing through and got caught. And she had purified the Oni, and it had knocked Sesshoumaru into the forest…

_Oh my god…_

Not worried for her own pain at the moment, Kagome twisted, attempting to look at Sesshoumaru's wound. For some reason, it was not until now that she realized that he was not wearing a kimono; not even a haori. She blushed furiously, then even more when she realized that his kimono was, in fact, what _she_ was wearing. She made a mental note to ask him later what had happened to her clothes.

Again, she squirmed in his lap. He protested, telling her he was fine and that she should be still. Finally, she was able to see the scar that was left behind from her powers. She gasped, even though she was glad to see it was healed. She ran her fingers over the now rough skin, and she began to tear again.

Sesshoumaru stilled himself. Again, she was concerned of him over herself, and this both worried him and made him beam with pride. But her touch on his sensitive skin made him tingle, and he longed to caress her as well. It had already been too much that her wriggling had sent little shivers up his spine and pangs of want throbbed deep within him. He took her exploring hand gently, but it seemed that in this moment, she was snapped out of her reverie.

Finally comprehending what she was doing – who she was touching so personally – Kagome withdrew her hand and blushed again.

"W-where's Inuyasha?" she chanced. She had been wondering how she could be here and there was no sign of the hanyou she spent most of her time with.

Inuyasha? His mind searched, finally recalling that the imp and girl had both referred to this Inuyasha as his brother. But why would she ask for him? He had assumed from Jaken's tirades that they were not on good terms. Had he been fighting with them? Perhaps they were fighting each other?

"I do not know," he answered truthfully.

She seemed to look sad, and it worried him that she was so concerned for his brother.

He tried to change the subject. Looking at her satchel, he nodded in its' direction.

"You have interesting things with you, Kagome."

She gazed in the direction he was staring and noticed her belongings. She seemed to brighten, and thanked him for bringing them. He lifted the pack for her, and she frowned upon inspection.

"Stupid Ogre, ripping my bag," she said angrily.

"Ogre?" he said without thinking.

"Yeah…" she said suspiciously. "Remember the Oni that attacked me, then got you?"

She watched as it seemed that gears were turning in his head, piecing things together. It was a while before he looked as if he was confidant, and she was intrigued by this.

"Yes," he lied. "I remember."

More suspicious than ever at his uncertainty, Kagome smirked at him.

"And remember how you sliced that Oni's head right off? It was amazing," she cooed.

Thinking that with his powers this was very likely, he nodded, agreeing with her.

Kagome tried to jump up, but it only resulted in shocking waves of pain. Through her wincing, she spoke harshly.

"Liar! You didn't kill that monster! I was the one that killed it, and that's how you got hurt!"

He seemed hurt by her words, so she lowered her voice to an almost-whisper. "I don't know what kind of game you're playing with me, Sesshoumaru, but I'm not having it. I'm leaving."

His eyes pleaded with her as his unstriped wrist came up to claim her own wrist. "Please, I meant no harm," he said.

If for nothing else, his tone kept her glued to his lap. She decided to see where this was going.

She looked at him, scowling as she spoke. "Sesshoumaru, what's going on? Why don't you remember what happened with the Ogre?"

He seemed to tense. His eyes shifted tellingly. She had never seen so much emotion pass through the Taiyoukai's gaze. Something was definitely off here.

"I do not remember anything before I woke up," he told her finally.

She was visibly shocked. He seemed hurt by her obvious surprise, so she attempted to soothe him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Are you sure? Nothing?"

She could only guess that Jaken had probably blabbed on about himself, allowing Sesshoumaru to trust him. But what of herself? Why would he take to her so personally? Why would he care for her...

And like a bolt of lighting, it came to her. She remembered crying over his still form, and healing him. Things got fuzzy there, and she could only guess that she had passed out of exhaustion on top of him. The thought of it made her blush. So this was why he was so different? He didn't know who he was? Or _what_ he was, more importantly? The thought of a kind, caring Sesshoumaru seemed odd to her, and she giggled for it.

He scowled at her. "You find my problem amusing?" He quirked an eyebrow for added measure.

She raised a hand to her lips, trying to stifle her laugh. "N-no, my Lord," she said. "It's just that… you're a little different now, and I like it."

He didn't find amusement in this, and he growled. "Different how?"

"It's not a bad thing. Forget I said anything," she tried.

He sniffed, still glaring at her. She thought it might be good to have him as a friend while he was friendlier.

After she had been silent for a few minutes, Kagome's stomach growled in a rather unladylike fashion. She was visibly embarrassed, and Sesshoumaru chuckled, which made her glare daggers at him. He told her that Rin had gathered some fruit if she would be pleased to eat, and she accepted. He helped her sit against the tree he had been leaning on, and fetched the towel that contained the berries and nuts, and she ate happily.

This was not the first person he expected to see. Opening his golden eyes, Inuyasha was greeted by the handsome face of the monk, Miroku. Handsome as he was, it was a certain girl he had thought would be hovering over him. Assuming she had gone to get herbs, or was somewhere in the village, he attempted to sit up.

"Inuyasha, do you really think you should be moving?" Miroku asked out of concern.

"Shut up, Miroku. These are just scratches, anyways," Inuyasha answered.

Miroku gave his hanyou friend a solid hit on the head.

"OW! What was that for?"

"I bet if Kagome asked you to lay back down you would not object…" Miroku said coyly.

"Keh!" Inuyasha scoffed. "That wench isn't the boss of me. I told you already, these wounds are nothing. I'm not built like you guys."

"Yes, yes, we pathetic humans are scathed much more easily…" Miroku rolled his eyes.

Inuyasha sniffed, crossing his arms.

"That said, would you like something for the pain? It is time for me to change your bandages…" Miroku asked, beginning to unwrap the dressing.

It was only now that Inuyasha looked down at the rags, and noticed that they were not Kagome's bandages from her time. Suspiciously, he peered at his pack brother through his bangs.

"Houshi."

Miroku didn't like the sound of that. He kept unwrapping the bandages.

"Miroku." Inuyasha's tone had become a little rougher.

The monk continued to ignore him, keeping his face as even as possible. But Inuyasha could sense his fear, and this gave him some anxiety of his own concerning Kagome.

"MIR-"

"Ah, Inuyasha. You have awakened," came a voice from the hut's door flap.

Neither man had to look up to know it was the elderly miko, Kaede.

"Old woman, what the fuck is going on here?"

Miroku grimaced at the harsh words of the hanyou. _Here it comes_, he thought.

Before anyone could speak again, Sango entered the hut, Shippou trailing closely behind. Inuyasha turned his glare towards them, and the kitsune grabbed onto the taijiya's leg for safety. Miroku, not wanting the hanyou to turn his anger towards his own wife, decided to speak first.

"Peace, Inuyasha."

This only served to make Inuyasha angrier. With a roar, he sprung to his feet, raising many voices against him to lay back down.

"The hell I will!" Inuyasha was full-blown angry, and not the angry-because-I-don't-know-how-else-to-portray-my-emotions type. No, this was rage at the hanyou's finest. The type of anger he had reserved only for Naraku and those that sought to harm Kagome or Kikyou.

At once, Miroku tripped the hanyou, making him land flat on his back – hard. Quickly, he made due with his shakujou, pinning the half-demon to the tatami mat. It was difficult due to his own wounds, but he had rested, and his injuries hadn't been as bad as the half-demon's. Inuyasha growled his displeasure, but the women were instantly at his side.

"Will someone tell me why everyone wants me to calm down but no one will tell me why? And where the FUCK is Kagome?"

It took everyone a moment to understand his first request, as his crude language often puzzled them. And at his mention of Kagome they began to look at each other worriedly. They all knew that if they told him, he would get up, and he was in no position to travel – let alone fight – in his condition. Even if he denied it.

Sango wanted desperately to go after Kagome, but she was extremely worried about Miroku's deeply wounded leg. Infection claimed many legs in this time, although Kagome had told her that it wasn't much of a threat in her time. But Kagome was not here to treat any of them. What should she do? Should her loyalty lie with her husband, or with a woman she considered her sister? Sadly, she decided that she needed to be here for Miroku. When Inuyasha was well enough to travel, he would find Kagome. It was the best solution. Now, to convince the hanyou of this…

"Inuyasha," Sango said quietly, "you should lie down and rest. You may not think your wounds were bad, but when you passed out, that was enough to make us worry. You're going to need your strength…"

Sango had looked off to another part of the hut at the end of her speech, and this alarmed the inu-hanyou.

He peered at her with nearly closed eyes in suspicion. "Why? Why do I need my strength, Sango? Answer me! What the fuck happened to Kagome?!"

None had wanted to answer his angry questions, but it had been little Shippou, afraid for Kagome and worried that Inuyasha's demon blood may take over, that told.

"It was all my fault, Inuyasha! Don't yell at them!" he wailed.

Three pairs of human eyes gawked at the fox kit, and Miroku moved to hit him on the head, which the kitsune dodged. Inuyasha glared dangerously at the kit.

"What do you mean, Shippou?" he ground out.

"Ee to…" Shippou, now realizing what he had done, fiddled with his fingers, something he had picked up from Kagome.

"OUT WITH IT!" Inuyasha roared. Shippou started.

It took both Miroku and Sango to keep him from hitting the kit, and they attempted to soothe the hanyou, to no avail.

"Well, when you were fighting that Ogre – the one that hurt you – something grabbed me. What was it? Oh, a dragonfly. And Kagome ran after it. We wound up far away, and she cornered it. It let me go, and she told me to run back. So I ran back here, but everyone was so hurt… Miroku's leg, and you…"

It was only now that Inuyasha noticed the very deep wound on the monk's leg, and he felt bad, loosing his grip on the shakujou that was held against his chest. He also let go of Hiraikotsu completely, which Sango had been using to keep Inuyasha away from Shippou. Inuyasha also noticed that Miroku was pale and sweating slightly. Most likely, he had a fever, caused by the great wound. Putting two and two together, he realized that Sango, the only one who appeared not to be hurt, had done the only thing she could – bring everyone back to the village. She couldn't have left two defenseless men and a fox kit behind to search for Kagome. But now, he wasn't defenseless, and he would go in search for her.

Miroku noticed the determined look on his face and interjected the hanyou's thoughts.

"But Inuyasha, she came back, and she is merely in her own time," Miroku lied.

Sango looked at him grievously. She wanted her friend back as well, but only Inuyasha was capable of leaving. Unfortunately, at the moment he was indeed incapable. Even now, they saw him waver, sapped of his strength due to all his anger. They problem, now, lay within the method of keeping the protective hanyou here until the wounds were at least better than their current state. It was true that the gashes in his shoulder were almost healed, but the huge hole in his stomach was only half-closed, leaving huge openings in the front and back still. Therefore, he would have to stay a few more days.

"Yes, she went back to rest. She's not hurt," Sango said hopefully, trying to calm the look the hanyou sent her, but kept going. "But she was tired. She asked us to look after you and said she would be back when she gathered the necessary medical supplies and rested.

This seemed to work somewhat, and Miroku marveled at his wife's ability for fibbing. It started to disturb him somewhat.

The only thing that had troubled Inuyasha was the fact that when Miroku had begun to tell him about Kagome, the kitsune had tried to say something, but Kaede had hushed him. He glared at the kit now, but he only cowered. Accepting this, Inuyasha slowly lay back down on the bedroll they had provided. This only confirmed what everyone thought. He was hurt – he was just too worried about Kagome to care about his own wounds. With that, Sango help the monk back to their own home, and Shippou followed them, leaving the old miko to care for the gruff hanyou.

"Would you like to bathe?" Sesshoumaru asked her once she had finished eating.

"Oh, would I…" Kagome answered.

The youkai thought it strange that she would answer with a half-question herself, but there were many things he found odd about this woman. He smiled gently. He was alarmed however, when she looked at him suspiciously so suddenly. An elegant eyebrow arched, challenging her to speak.

"Sesshoumaru, what happened to my clothes?" she asked, smirking at him in a dare to lie.

At first he seemed shy to answer, and then he regained composure. "The haori was ruined," he began, and Kagome assumed he meant her button-down white school shirt. She absently was remembering the slash of the Ogre's claws, and knew he spoke the truth. "As for the… short… hakama? I myself was forced to ruin them in order to treat you. I am sorry, but I will provide you with something when it pleases you."

Kagome's temper flared, and she was about to scream at him for seeing her half-naked, when something clicked in her head. She was missing something. _He treated me. Yeah, I'm mad, but what else? He'll provide me with something? When it pleases me?_ Alarm bells rang in her mind, telling her something was off kilter. _Why w__ould he care? Well, duh, he does__n't know he was a ruthless killing machine_, her mind supplied. But… the way he had said 'when it pleases you'… It was almost how a man speaks to his wife. Her eyes grew wide then, and she began to back away from him.

Alarmed, Sesshoumaru reached for her.

"Kagome, I said I was sorry. I meant no harm…"

"S-Sesshoumaru… what… who do you think I am?" she asked from a short distance.

"You are a miko."

It sounded more like a question than a statement. He didn't understand the question.

"Er… to me. Who do you think I am to you?" She blushed and looked away, and he understood her intent.

"Do you not travel with me? Are you not my woman?"

Kagome squeaked, and looked at him. He looked confused and hurt.

"Ah, hahaha…" How to explain that you were the supposed woman of your hated brother? She laughed without humor.

After a few moments of his anxious looks, Kagome tried her best. "What… what gave you that idea?"

Now he looked a little angry. "Our powers are mixed. I can smell my youki in your blood, and your powers reside in me as well," he said, placing an elegant hand on his bare chest. "And you cared for me, although your wounds were great."

How to tell an inutaiyoukai that you only felt bad that you had hurt him? Was there a way around it? And what did he mean by mixed powers? Could it have happened when she had healed him? She sighed dejectedly. When she looked into his eyes, she saw so much sorrow that she almost went to him to embrace him.

"Sesshoumaru, I'm not your woman," she said. She was about to tell him the story of their acquaintance when she realized he was no longer a few feet in front of her. Instead, he had vanished into the forest that was nearby. _Another inuyoukai that sulks? Great. Just what I need_, she thought.

It was about time she said hello to Rin.

Walking the distance to where Rin was splashing around proved to be quite a task, what with her wounds and the hot sun beating on her. When she was a short distance away, Rin waved from within the lake. Kagome waved back, and Rin ran to the bank, splashing the whole way.

"Kagome-sama, you're awake! I'm so glad. You gave us quite the scare…" Rin beamed.

_Us?_ the woman thought. Oh, Sesshoumaru… She felt even worse about what she had said, but felt it had to be done. Kagome nodded to Rin. She heard Jaken mumbling to himself in the background. She greeted him as well, but he only nodded, being that he was trying not to look at the unclothed Rin.

"Er… Kagome-sama? Where is Sesshoumaru-sama? He was very anxious to help you bathe once you woke, but he is not here with us…"

Kagome smirked at the girls' comment. "I'm not sure, Rin-chan," she answered truthfully.

Rin looked dejectedly at her, but Kagome smiled. "Would you like to help me bathe and cleanse my wounds, Rin-chan?"

Rin brightened instantly. "Hai."

The girl took Kagome by the hand, attempting to show her into the small alcove that she used as a changing area. She paused, which made Kagome freeze. "Jaken-sama, could you get Kagome's satchel? Thank you," she said before skipping off, Kagome in tow and leaving behind an exasperated toad youkai.

_Insolent girl, turning into an insufferable woman_, Jaken thought as he toddled off to do as she said, looking back once at the pre-teen.

Kagome giggled, knowing he was doing Rin's bidding, yet complaining about it to himself the entire time.

When she was led into the cave, Kagome was amazed at its' beauty. It was open only in the small opening that served as an entrance. The rest was either walled, or to Kagome's left was the waterfall, its' heavy cascade providing no entrance to anyone without knowledge of the opening. Where the waterfall lay, there was a small pool that took up much of the inside of the alcove. It seemed to be deep enough to bath, but shallow enough to stand. She undressed quickly, and placed a foot in the water to test its' temperature. Because of the warmth of the day, it was quite warm, and this pleased her aching muscles as she slid into it. Obviously, the trapped heat inside the cave warmed this water as well. Jaken arrived, and Rin put Sesshoumaru's kimono on just long enough to walk outside and retrieve the pack, removing it once away from Jaken's eyes. Rin brought the bag to Kagome, who went trough it to make sure the jewel was still there. She had forgotten about it until now, and was relieved to find it unscathed. Now she retrieved her shampoo, soap, and some medical supplies. With the help of the water fall, Kagome washed her hair first, and then her body, taking care with the wound. She winced when Rin poured peroxide into it as instructed. Kagome couldn't help but think how skilled Rin was, and how she didn't shy from the wound. Idly, Kagome wondered if the girl had experience with wounds. Had she cared for Sesshoumaru after battle? She had seen Sesshoumaru wounded very badly, and from what Rin had told her a long time ago, she had been with the youkai since Inuyasha had cut off her arm. So, she had nursed Sesshoumaru back to help? It was unlikely, but where else would Rin have learned to care for wounds? There was also the time Inuyasha had nearly killed Sesshoumaru with Kaze no Kizu, and again when they fought Naraku at the End. Sesshoumaru had been hurt, but not badly. He had left shortly after having a few words with Inuyasha, words that the hanyou had never shared with her. Pushing those things from her mind, Kagome helped Rin wrap herself with the bandages as Rin explained how she had been left behind as Sesshoumaru had ran off to battle, only to return with Jaken and herself. She told Kagome that she noticed a change in her Lord, and she was glad for it. She was also suspicious that the change had to do with Kagome, and the miko's heart warmed, remembering his concern and care. Trying to stay away from thoughts of the handsome youkai, Kagome asked Rin about everything from how she usually stayed fed to if she had started her period, which had to be later explained as a 'first blood'. When Rin became very upset, never knowing about a woman's period because her parents had been killed when she was very young, Kagome tried to soothe her. Moments later, Jaken stormed the cave, worried. But of course, the two girls were naked and they threw stones at the youkai, and they giggled about it to each other. When Rin was calm, Kagome bestowed her extensive knowledge unto Rin, and Rin felt empowered, gifted with knowledge that she hadn't previously known. Kagome was happy, because this was not a subject that teetered to Sesshoumaru. Any other answer she had gotten from the girl had eventually leaned towards 'Sesshoumaru this' and 'Sesshoumaru' that, and she had been feeling guilty. She hadn't known Sesshoumaru was so kind when she had thought him evil. Although it was probably his lack of visible emotion that had made her feel that way. Now, he seemed more like Inuyasha, only more regal looking. She was constantly reminded that she had been too harsh to the Taiyoukai, and the small distraction of teaching Rin about her first period was welcome.

Soon, Kagome was finished, and stepped out of the water. Rin told her that she would stay in the water – it wasn't often that their group relaxed like this. Kagome pondered her words as she donned Sesshoumaru's kimono again, tying the obi in a pretty knot. She fancied herself a Greek Goddess and laughed at herself. Was the source of the little family being able to relax Sesshoumaru's newfound kindness? Again, she felt the guilt of her harsh words. When she exited the cave, she saw that Rin had swam through the falling water to the main body of the lake. She waved to Rin, and walked back to the tree she had shared with Sesshoumaru, feeling refreshed. She sat again, leaning against the tree and closing her eyes.

In the forest, Sesshoumaru sulked. He wasn't hungry. He was beginning to think that his kind didn't eat very often, and sometimes when injured. But soon he would need to procure something for the females. Even if he was angry with one of them_'Sesshoumaru, I'm not your woman'_ she said, over and over. He tried to think of something else as he zipped through the forest, attempting to clear his mind of her voice. Eventually, he came upon a family of boar, and took one of the piglets. The male had attempted to protect its' brood, but Sesshoumaru easily avoided it. He reasoned not to kill it, since the survival of the family depended on the family staying intact.

Once he had caught the ningens' dinner, he walked slowly back to the lake. He could smell Kagome's fresh scent a while before he broke through the trees. He noticed that she had gone ahead and taken a bath. He found himself hoping she had taken care of the wound. He wanted to be angry with her, not caring about her since she was not his woman as she had plainly stated, but unfortunately, this was not to be the case. He longed to be with her, so he stopped finally by the tree, sitting next to her. He thought about his words to her, and opened his mouth to apologize, when she spoke.

"I'm sorry Sesshoumaru," she said, turning to look at him.

His heart sped up a little at her intense gaze.

"I had no right to speak to you so roughly," she said a little sadly. "But I wanted you to know the truth. There has never been anything between us…"

She cringed a little at the disheartened look he bore, but she kept going.

"I… I travel with your brother, Inuyasha."

He growled low and deep, and Kagome started at the sound. Sesshoumaru wondered if this was why Jaken had been reluctant to stay in the area he had woken up in. So, he had a feud with his brother over the woman? Would his brother – Inuyasha, his mind supplied – have taken the woman away from him? _It will never happen_, he promised himself. His growl intensified.

"Actually, I'm supposed to be his woman, but… there have been…" Kagome paused.

Sesshoumaru's growl had grown to the sound of thunder when she started, but he stopped now, intrigued. He forced her to continue by lifting her chin.

"There have been… complications."

Not wanting to care, but morbidly curious all the same, Sesshoumaru could not help himself. "Such as?"

There was great hesitation on Kagome's part. Was it her place to tell him about Kikyou? After all, Kikyou was no longer someone to compete with. But on the other hand, she didn't want to betray the memory of the former undead miko. She was fumbling with her fingers again, and Sesshoumaru used his own hand to still them. She looked up into the now emotion-filled golden eyes of the Taiyoukai, and understood clearly now. In his memory loss and the events that followed, he had not only cared for her, but he had feelings for her. This came as a great shock to her, and her heart raced a little, wondering how a beautiful Taiyoukai could care for such a plain girl as herself. He should be with a powerful demoness… With her revelation, Kagome decided to tell Sesshoumaru about Kikyou, about Inuyasha and Kikyou, about herself and Inuyasha, and then all three. Sesshoumaru listened quietly and intently; there were times where he seemed angry, and times where he seemed sad, but he remained silent all the same. It was not until Kagome was finished – ending with how it had been two years since Naraku's death and yet they still remained only friends – that Sesshoumaru finally spoke.

He seemed angry, and his voice sounded akin to a growl when he spoke. "He does not deserve you."

And in that one sentence, Kagome became unraveled. She broke into sobs, and Sesshoumaru looked on in shock. He hadn't meant to make her cry, and he felt bad now. He tried to soothe her, but she only swatted his hand away. This only served to make him work harder to make her accept him. In one movement, he pulled her into his lap and embraced her, stroking her hair and resting his chin on her head the same way they had fallen asleep earlier. She tried to resist, but his hold was firm, and if she were honest with herself, she felt comforted by his actions. After a while, she calmed. He lifted himself gracefully, still holding her. She held tightly, afraid to fall, and he chuckled to himself. He lay her down carefully, allowing her to sit by herself. Then he strode purposefully towards the lake. She watched as he spoke to Jaken and began to do something by the shore of the lake. Before he finished, Rin appeared fully dressed and she rode the two-headed dragon to the tree Kagome sat under. Rin looked at her sadly, but opted not to say anything as she began. Kagome watched as Rin removed some rods from the bag on Ah-Un's saddle. She placed them near a shallow, wide hole that looked as if it had been used as a fire pit. When Kagome realized they were all preparing dinner, she began to get up. Rin had begun to collect twigs and branches, but gasped in horror when she saw Kagome standing and also attempting to gather firewood.

"No, Kagome-sama! Please, you must rest," she pleaded.

Kagome began to protest, but Rin looked at Jaken beseechingly, and he nodded at Kagome.

"Yes, you should rest, Kagome-sama," he said.

Kagome was floored by his almost-polite request. Of course, his voice had wavered a little, as if not used to saying such things – except maybe to Sesshoumaru – but overall, he seemed concerned. So Kagome did as she was told and sat back as everyone did their part. When Rin had gathered enough sticks and leaves to start a fire, she placed the two vertical rods in the dirt and Jaken started the blaze with his staff. Rin happily wandered off with Ah-Un to find supplements for whatever dinner her Lord had procured, and Jaken stood watch over Kagome. She noticed that the little green youkai no longer had harsh words for her, and she wondered if this had something to do with him seeing her as Sesshoumaru's partner rather than Inuyasha's. She saw movement out of the corner of her eye, and noticed that Sesshoumaru had begun to walk back to the camp. She could hardly see any longer, since it was getting well into dusk, but Sesshoumaru's hair shone like a beacon in the coming darkness, and she was reminded of Inuyasha so very much that she had to bite her lower lip to keep herself from crying.

After the females had eaten and Rin grew sleepy, the girl curled up against Ah-Un's side, and the beast wrapped one of its' necks around the girl. Jaken followed soon, falling asleep in a sitting position whilst leaning against the dragon.

Only Sesshoumaru and Kagome lay awake. Kagome, plagued by memories of her friends, and Sesshoumaru, haunted by the words of the miko.

After what seemed a long time, Kagome began to get sleepy. Of course, she was leaning against the log and the grass there was comfy enough. But she was troubled. Finally, she got up the nerve to speak.

"Sesshoumaru? Why do you want me?" she asked boldly. There was so much resolve in her eyes that he could not help but to answer.

"I am not sure," he answered truthfully. "But I was amazed at your selflessness. You felt bad that your miko powers harmed me. Is that what happened?" When the woman nodded, he continued. "And I felt responsible as well. I had assumed you had used the last of your energy to heal me, and so I felt I needed to protect you. I became… attached to you."

His heartfelt words tugged on her heartstrings. She got up and walked over to the tree he leaned against and sat next to him. She placed a hand on his arm, but it did not seem to comfort him. To Sesshoumaru, it didn't matter if she tried to console him. Her words echoed through his mind.

"I had thought we were partners… in a union."

Kagome looked at him. "You mean, like married?"

He seemed to ponder her question, and then nodded.

She seemed a little shocked, and this time he placed his right hand over hers that still lay on his arm. Feeling more guilty than ever, but missing her friends all the same, she lay her head on his shoulder.

"You know, I have to go back."

He looked at her, and she could tell he was trying to keep the emotion from his eyes. He nodded. "Once you are well," he told her.

"That long? That could take weeks!" she cried.

He frowned. "Not likely. But if you really wish to, I will take you in six days time."

Now it was her turn to frown. "Inuyasha may come for me," she said, almost pouting.

"Let him," Sesshoumaru seethed.

"Sesshoumaru, I thought you forgot everything. Why do you hate Inuyasha?" Kagome didn't understand what it was with these two brothers, always at each others' throats. It was only two scant years ago that Sesshoumaru had given up his acquisition of the Tessaiga and regained not only his left arm, but his new sword, Bakusaiga. He hadn't sought Inuyasha's life, and they had all lived – if anything – peacefully. This raised a new question.

"Sesshoumaru?"

Her tone intrigued him. "Hn?"

Kagome giggled. He sure sounded the same. "Do you… know about your swords?"

"Know about my swords?" Why would he need to know about swords? They cut, and that was all he needed to know.

Kagome giggled. "You have special swords, Sesshoumaru," she said.

Idly, Sesshoumaru noted that she had dropped the honorific, meaning she felt closer to him. But he did not allow it to mean anything to him.

"Special? How?"

"Well," she began, pointing to Bakusaiga on his hip, "Bakusaiga was born of your own power. It came from your very essence, because you longer cared to possess Tessaiga and you had surpassed your father, the great Dog General. It has the power to keep eating at that which you cut. It was very helpful in defeating Naraku."

His gaze passed from Bakusaiga to his arm, to Kagome several times as she spoke.

"And this," she said, placing a hand on Tenseiga's hilt, "is a most special sword, Sesshoumaru. Tenseiga, like Tessaiga, was originally a fang of your fathers'. Where Tessaiga was meant to protect – which is why it was given to Inuyasha – Tenseiga was meant to give life. You, Sesshoumaru, are able to bring those that are dead, back to life. You have already used it to bring Rin back. Kouga, of the Yourozouku tribe, told me his pack had taken her life, but you had brought her back. Rin told me it was because she had cared for you after Inuyasha had taken your arm. I'm not sure how you do it, though. Also, you can cut things that are from the Other Worlds. When you were stuck in hell with Inuyasha, you were able to kill creatures there with it, where Tessaiga couldn't."

When she was finished, she watched Sesshoumaru interact with his swords, and he seemed to have a new respect for them.

_Special swords indeed_, Sesshoumaru thought to himself. If he had thought he was powerful before, he felt unstoppable now. Pride surged through him. But… there was still one thing.

"Kagome," he said quietly.

Her gaze had never left his face, so she just waited for him to speak again. "Jaken and Rin both call me Lord and master, yet I do not have a castle or home. What am I Lord of?"

Kagome half-laughed at this. "My _Lord_," she said sarcastically, "I actually never knew if you had a home or not. But I do know that the Western Lands are your territory. It's big, and they were once your fathers'."

Sesshoumaru contemplated all this. He wasn't sure what the boundaries were, but he was glad for the information. He poked Kagome in the ribs, and she half-laughed and half-scowled.

"What was that for?"

"For speaking to me in that tone," he said mockingly, attempting her sarcastic tone.

She laughed, and put her head back onto Sesshoumaru's bare shoulder. Within minutes, both were asleep.

() End Chapter


	3. III

**A/N:** Please remember – Kagome is a little older, therefore a little more mature, which means her thinking is more mature as well. Now, for my reverent thanks to those reading: **To those at MediaMiner**: brainshake – Thanks so much! And OMG, I am so embarrassed! O///O You are totally correct! I will fix my story, but I'm unsure of when I'll be able to fix the uploads… So glad to hear about you over here! It's for the best, since eventually there will be lemons, which I have to edit out. daniella m – I will have the chapters out as soon as I can. Thanks for the great rating! buzzk97 – Thanks so much! I'm glad you are still reading. Ah, how correct you are!!! Although Miroku is the one who started it… ; But yeah, they're gonna get it. Thanks for continuing to read! HypedUpGirl – I'll get them out as soon as I can! Kagome357 – I'm glad you find it funny as well! I really didn't mean for it to turn out this way, but I guess with a 'new' Sesshoumaru, funny was natural. I can see where that would be a bother. I'm used to most of my readers already knowing what they mean, which is why I have the definitions at the end, if any. I will try to cut back. Thank you again for reading! **At FanFiction:** flirtymiyu, ForlornDarkness, snow cat demon, EternalLove495, Sienna-shirou **At deviantART**: luvtodraw, no1sangel, **At A-Single-Spark**: swasdiva – thank you so much! I'm actually a horrible battle-writer. And even though there is a lot of fighting in the manga we know and love, I'd rather work on the relationships rather than draw out a war. Well, I don't think Sesshy would EVER admit to liking Kagome before his accident, so I guess we'll never know, huh? I know, I'm evil. Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you continue to enjoy. And thank you for following the story at other sites!!! WiccanMethuselah – Oh, how I love your reviews. They are love. Thank you so much! I must admit, you are one of the people I really was looking forward to getting a review from! And you didn't disappoint. It makes me so happy to know you find such enjoyment in this story, as I do. I hope that in your eyes, I continue to "outdo" myself. And by the way, thank you for waiting patiently. Dottie – Thank you for being constructive in your criticism! I actually didn't get your email address- I'm not sure if you put it in the review or if you sent me a message. I have noticed that my paragraphs can be long – believe me. It's just that I so often try to get the chapters out that I pay more attention to the spelling and grammar. I will definitely keep all this in mind. I would welcome your help. All in all, I'm glad you're enjoying the story! At **AdultFanFiction:** TheMikoShivae – Thank you! I'm glad! YumeMaru – Thank you so much! I tried to keep him a little bit in-character, although the point is that he isn't in character because he doesn't even know what his character is! I'm glad you're enjoying it, and hope you continue to like it. We shall see what happens, ne? Thanks again to swasdiva for reading on here as well! And to Megan – Thanks! I sure will, I just go back and forth between stories! **At PaperDemon, thanks to:** jns3372, ladybattousai.

Once again, my inspiration for this fic: That's the Way Love Goes

"_Come with me don't you worry,_

_I'm gonna make you crazy,_

_I'll give you the time of your life."_ –Janet Jackson

Chapter III

When Kagome awoke the next morning, she felt very refreshed. There was a slight twinge of pain from her wound still, but nothing unbearable. She was quite comfy, and thought that she might just go right back to sleep, so she poked at her pillow. But then it occurred to her that she shouldn't have a pillow, since she was in the Feudal Era. When she opened her eyes, she noticed that she was, indeed laying on something white and soft. However, when she prodded the softness again, she felt that right under that silkiness was rock hardness. The simulated rock was of course, Sesshoumaru's muscular thigh. Alarmed, she sat up. Sesshoumaru seemed to still be asleep, so she calmed a little. She looked at the spot where her head had lay. She must have slumped during the night and used his leg as a headrest. As she stared, her heartbeat picked up again, and she blushed. She had been very close to his… Scowling, she mentally berated herself. She was too old for this! Blushing about something like that. But just a quick glance at her pillow once again had her feeling heated. What was wrong with her? She loved Inuyasha! She had to keep away from him.

All the same, she felt drawn to him. As he sat there, sleeping, Kagome wondered what it would be like to be with a demon. After all, he was no longer so cruel, and he hadn't really been awful to them in some time. And right now – she looked at his sleeping face – he looked very peaceful. He had been nothing but kind to her; granted, his memory loss made him quite docile. She wondered if he could ever be the graceful Taiyoukai he once was. Kagome wondered at her train of thought. Would she rather have him back the way he was? Would she prefer the dangerous, stoic demon to the pleasant, emotional one? _Yes_, her mind supplied. But, why? Kagome found herself leaning in towards him. She gazed upon his features. He still looked like himself – the deep blue crescent, the violet stripes, and his eyelids were still magenta. She reached up to caress his cheek, tracing a single stripe. When she got to the tip, it was so near his lips that she kept going. She used her thumb to run along his lower lip. She felt herself being pulled towards him.

"That tickles," she heard a deep voice say.

Shocked, she was like a deer-in-the-headlights. Mouth agape, eyes wide, and frozen, she could think of nothing. Her mind had run off, leaving her with a blank palette. Then he chuckled and opened his golden eyes to gaze upon her.

"I… I didn't mean to wake you," she said, averting her eyes and withdrawing her hand.

He grabbed her hand, and she looked back at him.

"It's nothing. Besides, we are the last to wake," he informed her.

It was only now that Kagome noticed that Rin, Jaken, and Ah-Un were indeed gone. She seemed alarmed, but Sesshoumaru reassured her.

"Rin has gone to fetch breakfast for the two of you," he told her.

"Oh," she said softly. Then, "Oh, I should be the one to do that…"

"Rin enjoys it," he said, rubbing the hand he had captured. He knew little of her, but if anything, he knew she was a proud woman. If he had told her it was for her benefit because she was injured, she would protest. If he told her it was Rin's duty, she would be appalled.

She nodded and he let go of her hand. After several moments, Kagome stood and began to stretch, but the movement caused the gashes in her side to burn, and she instantly hissed with pain. He was immediately by her side, holding her up. He asked if she was all right, but she insisted she was fine. He let her go, but kept an eye on her. Once she actually felt fine, Kagome began to rummage around in her pack. She was angry with herself for not bringing clothes, but that was how she did things nowadays. Since she lived in the village, she need only run back to the well every time she needed a new outfit. She thought about her ruined school outfit once again. She groaned, then had to convince Sesshoumaru that she was merely thinking of her ruined clothes and was not in pain. She continued her train of thought once the youkai was satisfied. Her mom had spent a lot of time keeping that uniform together as long as possible – their family was not a rich one. The cost of buying a uniform for her school... School! Kagome groaned again, shooting Sesshoumaru a glare that told him she was fine and not to ask. He complied. Luckily, there was a weeklong break right now, hence her presence in the Sengoku Jidai. But Sesshoumaru didn't want her to leave before her wound was better, and by the looks of it, it would take more than a few weeks. If what Sesshoumaru had told her was true, then it should be Wednesday. How to convince him to let her go in a paltry four days? With Inuyasha, she tried to explain, but he always became confused, which made him angry, and then she would wind up going home anyways. With Sesshoumaru… well, she would never know unless she asked. She knew he was different now, but he was still very much like Inuyasha when it came to her health. She decided to ask him.

"Ee to… Sesshoumaru?"

"Hn?"

"I was wondering…"

Sesshoumaru didn't like the sound of this. She seemed nervous to say something. Did she want to go back? Did she want to see his brother?

She laughed anxiously. "Yeah, I uh, was wondering…"

"So you have stated," he replied with a sneer.

"You see, I know you wanted me to stay here until I am better, but I have school in a few days, and I really need to go because it's my last year and I really need to graduate and my mom is already gonna kill me for destroying my uniform and-"

He placed a finger against her lips to silence her, and she lost her train of thought. His skin was incredibly soft against her lips. Her eyes began to close when she heard something.

"Eh?"

"I said, what is this school?" the Taiyoukai asked patiently.

She blinked. Great. Now she was going to have the task of again explaining the things that happened in her own time. Her own time… Another one. She was also going to have to explain how she was from another time.

She inhaled deeply and gave a great sigh. "Well, first, I'm going to have to tell you about my home. You see, I'm not from here."

He quirked an eyebrow.

"I'm not from this _time_," she said, watching his expression.

He cocked his head slightly, in that endearing way that dogs do, and she continued. She told him about the well, and how she first met Inuyasha. She told him of how Inuyasha could also travel through the well, and of how she spent a few days here, but most of her time at home. She explained that she was from a family of Shinto shrine keepers, and that when she was home, she spent most of her time at a place where they taught children of all things, from history to reading, and many more subjects that she wouldn't be able to describe to him. They taught the children until they were considered adults, which was at eighteen years of age. Then, it was the new adults' decision of what they wanted to do – they could continue their education to become skilled laborers, or they could marry and have families, or they could find a job that didn't require further education. When she felt she couldn't possibly talk any more, she sighed, and collapsed backwards against the tree. Sesshoumaru had been quiet the entire time, merely nodding, or arching an eyebrow occasionally. Now that she was finished, however, he had many questions. In the middle of the tirade, Rin had returned with fruit and nuts, and, recognizing that two adults were having a conversation that she knew nothing about, left Kagome's breakfast and ran off to play in a nearby field, two demons trailing her. Kagome had paused to thank her, and returned to explaining the ways of her world.

"So… that is why you wore that strange clothing," he stated, brows furrowed.

Kagome laughed. "Why is it always the clothing everyone goes for? You know, I've been called a witch, a demon, and a few other things because of my clothes…"

"It is because it is indecent. You show too much skin. Why do you not don the clothing of a miko while here?" he asked.

"I am not indecent. Well, maybe in the standards of this time I am. But it is perfectly acceptable in my time," she huffed, crossing her arms.

"Hn," he sounded.

"And I don't wear the miko outfit because of Inuyasha," she said sadly.

Sesshoumaru scowled at the mention of his brother, but picked up on her depressed tone.

"Because…" he tried.

"Remember I told you that Inuyasha mistook me for Kikyou?"

It seemed that something clicked within the great demon's mind, and he nodded. "Hn. The one he loved before you. Any man worth anything could tell you were different from her," he said sternly.

Kagome smiled a little, and he was happy for it, although he didn't show it.

He looked determined again. "In this… school you speak of, they teach you? I mean, women?"

Kagome sighed. It was pointless to be angry at such a statement. It wasn't his fault that in this time, women were only considered to be wives, cooks, and heir bearers and nothing more.

"In my time, women are considered equals, because there are many things we are capable of doing that were once considered men's jobs. There are even some things that only we can do," she told him.

"As you should be," he said.

It had been the last thing she would have expected to hear in this time, and from the most unlikely mouth. Never, ever in a million years would she have thought that to come from Sesshoumaru. She had expected scoffing and huffing and posturing. But instead, he merely accepted it.

"So, I am to believe you have read many books?" he asked.

"Well, yes. Over the course of my schooling I have read hundreds of books. When we were fighting Naraku and I didn't have time for school I used to bring my books here to read them so I could study for tests."

She saw the look in his eyes, and resigned to explaining what 'studying' and 'tests' were.

When she was done, he continued his questioning.

"So you are able to bring books through the well?"

"Yes," she answered, wondering where this was going.

He was silent for several moments. Then, "When you go through, will you bring me back a few of your texts?"

She was astonished. She assumed he could read, but never dared to ask, lest she offend him. But would he understand? An idea came to her, and she decided.

"What kind of books?" she asked.

He seemed to mull over his options before settling on 'a little of everything', to which Kagome laughed. Then, something occurred to her.

"Does this mean I can go?"

"Kagome, you are not my prisoner. If you wish to leave, you may do so. I only wish for your safety," he said.

Suddenly, she felt awful. Spoken like a true gentleman. She wondered what had given her the idea that he would have refused her to leave. Yes, he had said she would leave when healed, but he hadn't implied that she was a hostage or anything.

"What do you plan to do? After your schooling ends," he asked suddenly.

She thought about it for a moment. No one in this Era had ever asked her that, not even Inuyasha.

"I'm not sure, but I think I might stay at the shrine and become a priestess."

He seemed to consider it. "You already make a fine priestess. You have great power," he said.

"Yeah, well, you see…" she began hesitantly. He inclined his head. "There really aren't any powers in today's mikos. Not that I know of. Priestess' are more of a novelty today. Shinto is one of many religions, and the shrine is more of a tourist attraction than anything. Still, though," she paused to think. He regarded her silently. "I… I think the reason I love it there, at the shrine, is the peacefulness. The city is great and all, but it's so noisy. I miss the stars, and the fresh air that I have here, in this time. The one place where that vaguely remains is my families' shrine."

Sesshoumaru's eyes softened as he listened to her. He couldn't help but think that she was an incredible woman. Strong, brave, beautiful, and smart. How could his brother have been so foolish, as to have not claimed her yet? Well, that was his problem. In the meantime, it meant that she was still up for the taking. But this girl was feisty, and one couldn't just 'claim' her. She had to always be asked, not told. Otherwise, it would make for a grand argument. He remembered her saying something about a wolf demon and how Inuyasha would be jealous of him. Did this mean the ookami also vied for her attentions? She hadn't said much about him, except that his pack had been responsible for Rin's first death, and that his shards had been taken by Naraku in the attempt to complete the jewel. He was about to ask her about the ookami when Kagome interrupted his thoughts.

"So, if you are asking for books, does this mean you want me to come back to you when I get back?" she asked solemnly.

He resented the tone in her voice, but knew that how he answered this would be very important.

"If you do not wish to see me again, I will do as you wish."

He was leaving the ball in her court. She was amazed at his ability to tell her he wanted her, but the choice was hers to make.

"It's not that I don't want to see you. But my friends…"

His brother. She still wished to be with him. He turned away, looking towards the lake.

She felt bad. In two days, he had almost become as close a friend as Miroku or Sango to her.

They were silent for quite some time before he spoke, breaking the quiet.

"In four days' time, I will bring you to the village that you came from. You may do as you wish from there," he said.

She was surprised at his nonchalant tone, but what could she expect from him when she had rejected him twice?

With no word from her, Sesshoumaru stood. He began to walk away when he felt a pull on the leg of his hakama. He turned to look down on her, and her pleading look melted whatever resolve he had built. He offered her a hand, and she took it. He helped her to her feet, using his other arm to support her back, and when she huffed from the pain, he looked at her doubtfully.

"Are you sure you will be able to attend this school of yours?" he asked.

She beamed at him. "I really want to. When I was younger, I couldn't go because we were hunting Naraku, so jii-chan made many health excuses. Some that didn't even exist," she laughed.

"So now that you are hurt, you want to attend," he finished for her.

She grinned again. "Exactly."

Later in the day found Kagome lying in a field of wildflowers, with Rin making various things out of leaves, twigs, and flowers. Gone were the days where the girl would run around aimlessly and pick flowers. With her growth came a calmness, and she carried herself proudly and could be quite silent some of the time. Sesshoumaru's influence, Kagome thought to herself. Regardless, she was becoming quite beautiful, and would make a fine wife and mother someday. Sesshoumaru sat cross-legged next to Kagome, eyes closed, listening to the breeze. Ah-Un had grazed quite a bit today and was taking the time to nap and digest. Jaken, who had grown accustomed to a more sedentary lifestyle since the defeat of Naraku, was sitting against a large root that was sticking out of the ground in its' search for more ground. Kagome thought of her friends, and hoped they had escaped from their fight unscathed. Although the fact that Inuyasha had not shown yet was worrying her. He usually wasn't far behind when it came to her being missing. Surely, Shippou must have told them about the dragonfly. Unless… unless he didn't find his way back… Tears sprang to her eyes, and she tried not to think about it. Or perhaps he had made it back, but Inuyasha was unable to come because he was hurt? She didn't know which scenario was worse. But, if he were hurt, wouldn't Miroku and Sango come to get her? Now the tears flowed freely, although she made no sound. But sound was not needed for the Taiyoukai to know that she was crying.

"What upsets you?" he asked.

"It's nothing," she said.

In the short time he had known her, Sesshoumaru had realized that the woman often said the opposite of what she meant.

"I do not believe you," he said flatly.

"Are you calling me a liar?" she asked disbelievingly, propping herself up on her elbows, hissing from the pain it created.

"Hn. Call it what you will."

She realized he was toying with her. "It wasn't too long ago that you lied to me, my _Lord_," she teased, placing emphasis on the last word.

He arched a delicate eyebrow at her. "Regardless, 'nothing' does not make one cry, _miko_," he told her, also emphasizing the last word.

She sighed in defeat. "I was just hoping that my friends are okay."

He looked at her curiously, and she realized that she had not told him how they had come to meet. Quickly, she recapped the story of how she had become separated. He had asked about Shippou, and she spoke of him as a proud mother does, which he noted. She continued, telling him about the Ogre's sudden appearance, and how it was the same one she had seen Inuyasha battling. And that when she had hit it with her Hama no Ya, she had purified it, but hurt him in the process. She had been afraid to tell him this part, but he didn't seem to mind. In fact, he looked happy. She delved further into the story, telling him that she had found him and cried because she felt bad that she had not trusted him to deal with the Oni and in the process, used all her energy to heal him. And that was the last she remembered.

"You were right to do what you did," he told her.

She only looked at him disbelievingly.

"You had no idea what was to happen. For all I know, you saved me twice. You are quite the courageous one, my little miko," he said, reaching to stroke her cheek.

Kagome was so moved by his words and stunned by his action, she didn't know how to react. But her body did. She felt the heat that started in her nether regions, and it spread to her breasts and face. Her mouth became dry, and her heart raced. But as quick as it had happened, his touch left her. She was glad for it, since it had fogged her mind, and yet still longed for his touch.

The way she had reacted did not go unnoticed. He longed to take her into his arms and capture her lips with his own, but he knew she also longed to be with her friends, so doing as he pleased may serve to push her away. So he would wait. And hopefully, of her own accord, she would come to him.

For now, he turned away, and Kagome lay back down.

The next couple of days came and went with discussions of things that happened in her time, since they could not talk of Sesshoumaru's adventures, since he did not enjoy them. They did this often in the meadow, as Rin made things out of the natural objects in the field. Breakfasts were collected by Rin, and Sesshoumaru procured dinner for the females. He had not eaten since that first day, but was now beginning to feel the pangs of hunger.

Kagome bathed often with Rin, splashing about and letting the girl use her shampoo, which she loved. This was Friday, by Kagome's memory. There still had been no sign of Inuyasha or the others, and she grew more worried, but she tried to hide it from Sesshoumaru. She had yet to bathe today, and the sun was getting low in the sky. It was almost time for Sesshoumaru to hunt, and she figured she would bathe before dinner.

"I will hunt early today," the Taiyoukai announced out of the blue.

Kagome was silent for a moment from her surprise, but smiled at him all the same. She nodded and made an agreeing sound. He began to turn away to walk into the forest when Kagome stopped him.

"Sesshoumaru?" she said.

He paused and turned to look at her.

"Be careful."

He smirked, although he was touched that she cared. Then he turned back to the forest and leapt.

Kagome knew why he had smirked. They both knew that he was more than capable of caring for himself. But she had felt odd with him leaving without saying something, and it had been the first thing that came to mind. Now she felt rather silly for it.

When Sesshoumaru had been gone for several minutes, Kagome turned to Rin.

"Rin?"

"Hai, Kagome-sama?"

"Would you like me to teach you to swim?" she asked the girl.

The pre-teen gasped and her eyes widened considerably as she ran to Kagome. She wanted to hug the woman, but knew it was impossible with her wound.

Kagome laughed. "Is that a yes?"

"H-hai!"

A few minutes later, the two girls were in the secret alcove with Jaken far off in the distance. Only Ah-Un was nearby, since it was more acceptable for him to watch. They walked through the waterfall and wound up on the other side. Kagome knew from experience that it got deeper very soon, and she grabbed Rin's hands. She remembered her own swimming lessons as a child, and showed Rin, who was an apt and eager pupil. Within an hour, the girl was almost brave enough to swim into the middle of the lake, but still stuck to where she could barely stand. Kagome continued to teach her to control her limbs in the water until it started to get cool out with the approaching dusk. Rin told Kagome she was going to get out, and the two went back to the hidden pool where they both went under the water, to Kagome's joy. She was happy to have such an impact in the girls' life. She imagined what it had been like for her until now. Growing up without parents, then becoming the ward of a Taiyoukai – it couldn't have been easy without a mother figure. She watched Rin get dressed into her too-small kimono and leave, calling to the dragon. The water was still warm in the pool, and the air inside the cave had not been cooled. Finally having a moment to herself, Kagome relaxed, leaning against a rocky wall.

Deep in the forest, Sesshoumaru finished off the heart of the boar youkai he had killed. He had not enjoyed letting it die a slow death. It seemed beneath him, especially since the demon had not done anything wrong. But he had to eat, and so he had cut into its' neck and drank the liquid that his body lived off of. With its' last beat, Sesshoumaru took out the heart, devouring it as well. When he had finished, he realized that not only did he need to clean, but the only water nearby was the lake they camped at. Resigned, he searched for something for the females in his care to eat. He finally found another wild pig family; this one included half-grown piglets. He stalked them, and without any of them realizing they were being hunted, he grabbed a young male and dispatched it without a sound. He tasted its' blood, but it wasn't nearly as good as youkai blood, although it wasn't bad, either. He returned to the camp quickly, running through the forest. When he arrived, he noticed two things that threw him into a panic. One – Rin was in camp. And Kagome was not. Two – Kagome's things were not in the campsite.

Rin noticed his concern and was about to ease his worry when he promptly dropped the young pig and ran towards her scent. Rin sighed and decided to start dinner without either adult. She began to skin and clean it, gather and start the fire and rubbed herbs on the meat to cook.

Her distinctive scent led to the waterfall. Was she trying to mask her scent by following water? He tried to follow it, but the mist of falling water masked the scent well. He could feel her aura though, but it was dim. She was either very calm, or very far. He walked around, and then jumped up to the top of the falls. When he was satisfied that this was not the way she went, he jumped back down, this time to the right of the waterfall. A sweet melody caught his attention, and he recognized it to be Kagome. He found the entrance to the secret cove and had to stoop to enter it.

There was more room inside however, and he looked around. The cave shimmered with the waters' reflection. It was reasonably warm inside, and he finally allowed himself to look at the source of the tune. Kagome - huddled down low in the water so that everything from her chin and down was covered by water – was humming as she relaxed in the warm water. She remained blissfully unaware of his presence; her eyes were closed and since the mighty Taiyoukai was stealthy as a dog, she heard nothing but the sounds she was making. For a moment, Sesshoumaru had decided to let her be, and turned to walk out. But he stopped. Later, he would blame his inner youkai – his beast, his youki – for this, but as of now, he merely was stopped dead in his tracks, his back to her. He tried to think rationally. He thought that perhaps it wasn't a good idea, but he was overridden. Before he actually knew he had done so, Sesshoumaru had turned around, disrobed, and descended into the small pool; it had the double effect of washing away the blood from the kills he had made. He vaguely assumed that this was why the woman was here – the warm water and air – but could not think of much else. He approached her, and couldn't help but think of how beautiful she was. Her ebony tresses danced in the moving water around her like nymphs, and her cheeks were a light shade of pink from the heat. Her face was dewy from the mist, and made her skin glow. He noticed that due to the shallow nature of the pool, she was kneeling in the water. Carefully positioning himself, he placed a hand on either side of her. Kagome had just stopped singing and was thinking about napping in the water when he suddenly moved forward, capturing her lips. All notions of previous oaths to let her come to him had been pushed aside. She had enchanted him, and he did what he was compelled to do.

Kagome was shocked. She had never thought Sesshoumaru would come in here, knowing she was. But, as some girls find out with experience, if someone like the Taiyoukai of the Western Lands kisses you when you don't expect it – even if there is someone else you hold close to your heart – you generally respond positively. Because it takes away your ability to think. At all. Some regain their thought process in a few seconds, and some never do, until what's done is done. Kagome, who had never been in such a position before, was the latter. When his lips tenderly touched hers, she instantly felt her blood rush to her head, as well as several unmentionable places. Her body reacted strongly, and she moaned ever so slightly into his mouth.

The sound turned Sesshoumaru from simply wanting to needing. He applied more pressure, and was happily surprised when Kagome opened her mouth slightly. Not needing more of an invitation, he ran his tongue into her warm opening, and her tongue met his equally, dancing around each other. Kagome became fevered and placed a hand behind his head. He responded in like, capturing her face with both hands. She was so caught up in the passion and this… feeling inside her that made her want, no, _need_ something - that she hadn't noticed that she had slowly leaned towards him, seeking the touch of the male.

Sesshoumaru, finally regaining some composure over his youki and realizing that she may hate him after this, saw that she meant to make contact with his body with her own. Inwardly he smirked haughtily, but he knew he mustn't take advantage of her… well, more than he already had. He leaned back a little every time she moved forward. Her kissing had become passionate and erotic, and he knew he would have to stop before it escalated, although his youki howled at him for denying it. After several more moments and the forced slowing of his assault, he finally separated, lingering his lips slightly and panting, causing her to shiver from his hot breath on her face. She opened her eyes for the first time since he had approached, and they were so filled with lust that he had to force his inner beast to calm. He turned, and she caught his arm, stilling him. He stood, facing his clothes for a moment. Then he quickly spun, placing a long, languorous kiss on her swollen lips before jumping out of the water and collecting his clothes. He didn't stop to put them on, but walked out of the cave, only donning his hakama, swords, and boots once he was out of sight.

Kagome had watched him go, and idly wondered why she hadn't turned from the vision of his retreating backside. She wondered what the feeling was that had filled her with so much need; that now, made her feel empty. She remembered the feel of his lips and reached up to touch her kiss-swollen lips. She remembered how he had possessively held her face. And then, like a tsunami crashing upon a village, it all came to her.

From camp, Rin could hear the shrill scream of the woman. Being a girl herself, she realized that it was not a frightened scream, more like that of frustration. She wondered what could have happened that made the priestess so angry. Either way, she knew that her Lord would take care of it.

A few minutes later, Sesshoumaru appeared in the glow of the firelight. He nodded to Rin and Jaken and patted the heads of Ah-Un. Rin wasn't sure if she should say so, but chanced it anyways.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, is Kagome-chan ok? Rin heard her scream," she told him.

"She is angry with me," he said simply. The height of the scream spoke volumes to him, and he was glad he hadn't been in the cave when she loosed it.

Rin was satisfied with his answer, and went back to turning the meat. Sesshoumaru thanked her for preparing dinner and apologized for not fulfilling all his duties as caretaker. Rin bowed low, graciously accepted his thanks, but insisted that from now on it should be this way, as finding food for them was more than enough. She was secretly happy, since Sesshoumaru had never attempted to feed her before, merely sent her on her way to procure her own meals. She had eaten fish for so very long that she now relished the taste of red meat. Then, to Sesshoumaru's surprise, she mentioned that she had been bored, since he had gone to 'be with Kagome-chan', so that was why she had taken on dinner herself. Sesshoumaru paled slightly, assuming she knew what had transpired. Perhaps she had stumbled near the cave while the adults lay naked in the pool?

Sesshoumaru opened his mouth to protest. "I had-"

"Because I'm sure her wounds are still great, and need much care. I only saw them yesterday, and they are getting better, but…" Rin prattled on, but Sesshoumaru did not hear.

He had forgotten about her wounds, and she was probably trying to wrap them on her own. Until now, Rin had been helping her, since her reach was limited due to the gashes. Instantly, he made his way back to the cave.

After her long and pleasingly effective scream, Kagome felt better. She didn't know why she was so frustrated, but she knew why she was so angry. _How dare he kiss me? How can he just come in here and expect me to do that? But you did_, her conscious reminded her. Growling at herself, she stomped out of the pool, patting herself dry with her towel. _How DARE he?_ She could think of nothing else but those three words for a few moments_. Did he think I would leave Inuyasha and just go with him if he did that? No,_ her mind supplied. _You're missing the big picture_. She mentally screamed for herself to shut up, then 'how dare he'd some more.

Through her ministrations, she was able to take her mind off of her seething anger. She used the burning peroxide, hissing with pain as it seeped in. Then she rubbed an antibiotic healing ointment on, whimpering at her own touch as she caught on to her train of thought. _How dare he?_ A memory flashed through her mind like lightning; she remembered his gentle touch on her face. _Only_ her face. _Well, at least he had the decency to not touch anything else_, she fumed. She winced, chiding herself for her own carelessness. Another memory came to her, and she was amazed at her own actions. She remembered the feel of him, and wanting more. She remembered trying to get closer, for whatever reason. And she also clearly remembered him backing away, but not stopping. She remembered feeling the need to be close to him – flush against his body – but he did not allow it. Why? He had made his intentions perfectly clear. And he had been undressed. It would have been so easy for him to just…

And then that tsunami hit her again. _He… he was sparing me. He knew I wasn't ready… He knows I still want to go home… still want Inuyasha… Inuyasha_… His name plodded lazily and clumsily across her mind, and she - strangely enough - didn't feel as guilty as she thought she would. She began to cry silently, not because of her slight feeling of betrayal, but because she felt so empty. She had, for the first time, felt pure bliss. And it may or may not have been completed by further actions. And the reason it hadn't was because he had known her better than herself. He had known… But then, why torture both of them with that heated kiss? She supposed he hadn't been able to control himself. The surge of womanly pride and empowerment flowed true through her veins unexpectedly, and she felt happy. But before she could further explore these feelings, she noticed movement and realized Sesshoumaru was at the cave entrance. She gasped, but noticed he was not able to see her form, and it was purposefully. He was sparing her again. But wouldn't he have seen her in the water? She would have to ask later. He cleared his voice, and she waited for him to speak.

"May I come in?" he asked quietly.

She didn't know the reason behind his return, but he had been polite. "I'm not dressed…" she paused.

She quickly put a new pair of underwear on and her bra. At least she felt that she was decent enough. After all, this was similar to wearing a bikini…

"You can come in now," she said meekly.

When he entered, he vaguely noticed that she had covered her intimate parts, but was unbandaged, as he suspected. He strode over to her purposefully.

She backed as he came closer, but oddly, she realized that his eyes never left hers. He did not attempt to ogle, and that left her wondering what he was here for. His gaze penetrated her, however, and she felt the trickling of desire once more.

He stopped only when he was a hands' width away and caressed her face. She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. He ran his fingers through her wet hair, and it stuck slightly in a few places. When he removed his hand, she whimpered at the loss. Then, he looked down at the two gashes in her left side. He inspected it, taking Rin's words to heart.

Kagome swooned under his scrutiny, but did her best to hide it. It had not gone unnoticed that he did not look at any part of her except the part that was wounded. She assumed he was still trying to make her feel at ease, and she was both grateful and disappointed, which she thought was odd.

When he was finished looking over the wound, he ran a warm, clawed hand up her right side, caressing her softly. Her knees wavered slightly, and she stilled herself by gazing into his stare – which had returned to her deep blue eyes, nearly grey in the dark of the cave – and grasping on to his left arm.

He had noticed her weakness and for a moment thought she had endured so much pain she would faint. But then the faint scent of her arousal came to him, and he understood. Certain places he touched her – usually with the slightest pressure – made her weak. Inwardly, he grinned like a wolf youkai. But he maintained his stoic façade and continued to caress her lovingly. When he reached the cloth that bound her breasts, his right hand reached around her to splay on her back. They gazed into each others' eyes for several moments before Sesshoumaru broke the stare to bend and retrieve the bandages from her satchel.

Now she fully understood. He had come to help her, because she knew how painful it would be to do it herself, and he probably knew this as well. Her eyes softened with the knowledge, and she didn't speak as he carefully wrapped the gashes, winding the gauze around her midsection. It was usually Inuyasha that had these type of wounds, but he hadn't been hurt badly in such a very long time that she did not carry very much of the fluffy cloth anymore. She was almost out, and didn't know what she would do when it ran out. He seemed to realize this, and only wrapped the cloth a few times before cutting it neatly with his claws. He tucked the end, but she smiled and took it from him. He watched with interest as she took the original end and tied the two together in an intricate knot. He inclined his head, to show he understood, and she bent to place her things back in her pack.

When she stood back up, Kagome was taken aback by a vision of Sesshoumaru, holding his kimono out to her. She was frozen for a moment. It wasn't right for one as regal as Sesshoumaru to be dressing her. He shouldn't have to do this. She motioned to take it away from him, but he did not allow it, moving the kimono just out of reach of her fingertips. It had only been a few inches, but she understood. She allowed him to put the white, soft cloth over her shoulders, letting her arms flow through the billowing sleeves. She looked at the royal violet color of the crest on her right shoulder and started to feel sad again, when, from his place behind her, Sesshoumaru closed the kimono, and by residual effect, wound up holding her. She could feel the heat of his bare skin through the thin material, and she leaned back, basking in his heat.

He, too, closed his eyes, relishing the feeling of having this woman in his arms. They stayed like this for several minutes – Sesshoumaru behind Kagome, with his arms wrapped protectively around her chest. She had raised her own arms, and her hands lay on his arms. They were oblivious to all except one tiny voice that called for them. They were broken out of their stupor long enough to hear Rin calling for Kagome to eat whilst it was still hot. Kagome was about to pull away when he abruptly released her but did not move away. She turned to look at him and smiled. Reaching up to caress his bare arm, she trailed down to the brilliantly striped wrist. Absently, she realized that his left wrist had no stripes, and she wondered if it had always been so or if it just had not came back with the regrowth of his left arm. He did nothing but watch her movements; when she snapped out of her trance, she tied the obi in a messy knot around her hips and turned to Sesshoumaru.

"We should go, or Rin might send Jaken after us," she giggled.

He smiled ever so slightly and nodded.

They came into the little camp, Ah-Un in his usual curled-up form, Jaken sitting on the log, and Rin sitting closer to the fire than Kagome cared for. She gently asked the girl to take a step back lest her kimono catch fire and have even less covering her. The girls laughed a little at this, and then they both settled down to eat. Kagome realized she was quite comfortable with the little group. Ah-Un was similar to Kirara, and Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha had more in common than they thought. Jaken could be likened to Myouga-jiichan. Likewise, Rin had many qualities similar to Shippou – both young, yet wise beyond their years. Only the squabbling of Miroku and Sango was missing, and she grew sad thinking about them.

Sesshoumaru sat back and enjoyed the constant prattle between his two favorite females. Unfortunately, Kagome suddenly seemed somber, and he found himself wanting to ask her why. When the girls had finished eating – and Kagome insisted on helping to clean up despite two protests – they all sat back. Kagome commented on how it was growing colder, and Rin agreed, telling her that it was one of her favorite times of the year because the leaves began to change colors. Kagome agreed.

Only a short time later, Rin had fallen asleep, and Kagome tried to pick her up to move her, but Sesshoumaru knew she was in no condition to pick the girl up. He placed Rin with Ah-Un and took up his place leaning against the tree. They spoke shortly about the season change, and then they grew silent. As the fire grew smaller, Kagome became sleepy. She tried to lay on the ground in a dignified manner next to the Taiyoukai, but she had gotten used to at least having a tatami, or a futon, or her sleeping bag. She never slept on the hard ground. As she shifted, she made little noises of frustration. After a few moments of twisting and turning, Kagome felt herself being lifted, and she squealed in surprise. When they were settled, she noticed that Sesshoumaru had brought her onto his lap again – her back against his bare chest – and was holding her snugly.

Kagome knew it was wrong. She loved Inuyasha, didn't she? Unfortunately, she felt that this was not the reason that she didn't want to be in his lap. In fact, she felt very comfortable, both physically and emotionally. But she felt like she was using Sesshoumaru. He wasn't himself; he didn't know what he was doing or what he was getting himself into becoming attached to her. Every guy that became enamored with her only got into trouble. She was like a death magnet for men. Houjo's ancestor, Kouga, and Inuyasha. Kagome wasn't an idiot. She knew that Inuyasha still had feelings for her. She wasn't sure why he hesitated, with Naraku long gone. But Inuyasha had been near death so many times because of her. And now, Sesshoumaru. Why did she attract so many men?

Sighing, Kagome was going to pull away, building up her will to sleep on the cold earth. But Sesshoumaru held her firmly. Neither spoke, but each knew what the other was thinking. Kagome resigned herself, and could only hope that if Sesshoumaru regained his memory, he didn't kill her over this. She laughed a little to herself over the thought, and leaned her head back onto the youkai's shoulder. Well, if she was going to die because of it, she better make use of the moment.

She was surprised when, just as she was slipping into the blackness of sleep, she felt Sesshoumaru's lips brush her temple. She smiled lightly, and the demon heard her mumble something incoherently. He felt her heart slow in her sleep, and he smiled to himself, allowing sleep to claim him as well.

The next morning, Kagome awoke still embraced by the most powerful demon she knew. It was a little disconcerting, but sweet nonetheless. She smiled as she looked up at him, only to find him staring intently at her. She gasped when she connected with his burning gaze, and it woke her fully.

"Um, Sesshoumaru, why are you staring at me?" she asked, her voice husky with sleep.

She saw his eyes soften as she awaited an answer.

"It is nothing. I merely wish to make sure I remember all your features. Today, as promised, we begin to travel to the well," he told her.

"Oh," she said. She hadn't realized it was almost time to go back. Truthfully, she had forgotten. It was peaceful, living here with Sesshoumaru's group. There was no fighting with Inuyasha, no lecherous monks and the ensuing smacks from his wife, and no kitsune to constantly hurl himself at her.

Thinking of them now made her heart twinge ever so slightly. But she looked around and found that she didn't miss them as much as she would miss this new little group, although she had only spent a tiny fraction of the time with them as she had with Inuyasha and the others.

She was going to miss Sesshoumaru? She balked at the idea, but Kagome was not one to kid herself. Well, not anymore. She may have been more naïve back then, but she wouldn't deny her mind anymore. Yes, she would miss Sesshoumaru. But Rin, as well, and Ah-Un. And a teensy bit of Jaken.

There was that feeling again. Like she was kidding herself. Why? Why was this feeling haunting her; why was it making her feel like she was lying to herself? Sighing with discontent, Kagome decided it was time to remove herself from a certain taiyoukai's lap, lest he regain his memory. For the third time, the burning, nagging sensation in her mind suggested she wasn't being honest with herself, and, angry with this side of her, Kagome finally hefted herself from the makeshift bed that was Sesshoumaru.

Sesshoumaru knew she was conflicted. The furrowed brows, the deep thinking, and the worrying of her bottom lip… Unfortunately, her pouty, full lips began to make him forget that the female was distressed. He began to feel the urge to kiss her, as he had last night in the shallow pool. But before he could act on it, the woman began to stand, although it did not seem that she had worked out whatever problem was plaguing her. He felt an overwhelming urge to comfort her; to find out what was bothering her and help her rectify it, if he could not do so himself. He loved to see her smile, and she was most definitely not smiling. Could it be that she was upset that she had been here, rather than in her village, with his brother? Perhaps she had been wanting to go back all this time…

Stretching, Kagome felt some of the stress leave her. They were leaving today. Yes, she would miss Sesshoumaru, and later she would miss Inuyasha and her own little group. But she felt the need to get home, sleep in her own bed, and get to school. But… what would happen when she got back? She would only have the two days off. How would she spend them? One day with Inuyasha and one with Sesshou…

…

Hold on a second.

Now she was planning to see him when she got back? What is this!? It was one thing for her to recognize that Sesshoumaru – when not trying to kill her or her friends – was an okay guy. It was another thing to realize that she was going to miss him when she left. And way over there, in an unknown galaxy far, far away, was the prospect that she, in coming back through the well, would see Sesshoumaru again, as they were now. Was she delusional?

First of all, what was the point in getting close to him? She loved Inuyasha, right?

And there was that feeling again, but not as strong as before. The feeling of lying to herself. Why? Why would she feel like that when she thought of her love for Inuyasha? _Too much time away from him messed up my head_, she thought. Shaking her head, Kagome attempted to gather a few things to bathe before breakfast and made her way to the secluded pool.

Sesshoumaru watched as the troubled girl made her way to the waterfall. He felt so many emotions run through him that it was nearly impossible to dwell on one before the next came barreling into his head like a bull in Pamplona. The possibility that she could be mourning the loss of his brother made him angry, worried, jealous, and miserable. He felt anxious, uneasy, and nervous. And soon, he would be travelling closer to the source of all those emotions, and would have to deposit the woman he cared for into the arms of the man she cared for.

It had been a rough couple of days.

Everyday, Kaede prayed for the return of the resilient little miko, and everyday, they all tried a little harder not to kill him. By Friday afternoon, it had been necessary to place sutras all around Kaede's home in order to keep Inuyasha inside – something they had not had to do in a very long time. But the last time, Naraku's meddling had kept Inuyasha from healing. This time, there were no serious demons about, and Miroku and Sango could always deal with them.

So now, they listened to Inuyasha yell, moan, whine, scream, order, and of course, swear colorfully. He was not a happy hanyou. They all understood why, but they also knew that until he was almost healed, he would be no good to Kagome – wherever she was – if he got himself killed on his way to retrieve her. So they endured, and they fought with him, and sometimes they ignored him. But for the most part, they cared for him. Miroku and Kaede helped keep the spiritual barrier strong as well as helping to clean his wounds, and Sango did most of the cooking, with occasional help from Kaede. They all felt the weight of the missing girl, and even though she wasn't around as much as she used to be, due to what she called 'High School', this was the second weekend in a row that they hadn't seen her, and it was taking its' toll. Not just because they missed their friend, but because their hanyou friend missed her, and that made for a grumpy half-demon.

It had taken them over an hour, and all three of them plus the headman of the village to feed Inuyasha that morning. Kaede stayed outside, keeping some spiritual power in the spell while Miroku and Sango entered the hut. Once inside, the headman placed his back against the door, pushing with all he was worth, even though they all knew that the man's strength would be nothing if Inuyasha truly wanted out. Now, Miroku held him down, fighting with him as Sango brought his food over to his futon.

"Sit still, Inuyasha! The sooner you heal, the sooner you can go to Kagome!" Miroku was not happy with the hanyou, and was struggling to keep him pinned to the floor with his staff.

"Grr… If you didn't keep me here, I would've seen Kagome already and this wouldn't be necessary!" the half-demon raged as he fought against the houshi.

Sango and Miroku exchanged knowing glances. Had they let him go to Kagome, which was what almost happened yesterday, he would only arrive there to find that not only was she not there, but her mother would not have seen her either. Then they would have two very worried people, and Kagome would be quite upset when she got back. If she got back.

"Inuyasha, Kagome would be very upset with you if she knew how much you were fighting us when you should be healing," Sango said calmly.

Miroku was amazed as Inuyasha stopped struggling. He glanced at the taijiya gratuitously.

They heard a muffled 'yeah' from the hanyou as he lay calmly on the mat. With that, the woman stood and left, leaving the monk inside with his friend.

After a few minutes of silence, Miroku finally spoke.

"Inuyasha…"

The hanyou's ears swiveled, then flattened in annoyance as he waited for the monk to finish his sentence.

"Well? Whaddya want?" Inuyasha asked impatiently.

Miroku waited until Inuyasha had righted himself, now sitting cross-legged and beginning to pick at the food that was brought to him.

Miroku looked away. "Inuyasha, what are you waiting for?"

Inuyasha stopped eating. An eyebrow arched in suspicion. "Whaddya mean, 'what am I waiting for'? I'm waiting for you to let me leave this damned hut."

Miroku chuckled. It was almost endearing how dense his friend could be. Almost. He applauded Kagome for putting up with the hanyou for so long…

"Kagome."

The inuhanyou's ears shot straight up. "Where?" He looked around frantically as the monk clenched his fist and jaw in frustration.

"No, Inuyasha. What are you waiting for? With Kagome," the houshi tried to explain.

"With Kagome?" the half-demon mirrored.

The monk sighed, allowing Inuyasha's brain to catch up. He saw the hanyou's eyes lighten suddenly in understanding. The bright look darkened, becoming sullen.

Miroku, knowing his friend didn't speak often of his own problems, spoke first. He laughed softly. "I would have thought, after everything, that you two would have beaten Sango and I to marriage," he said, his eyes trained on a whorl in the wooden floor. But he was not stupid. He could feel the heat radiating off his friend as he blushed to the tips of his furry ears. That, and his peripheral vision could see the hanyou's reddening face. "But I did promise Sango that we would be married as soon as it was over, and I made true to that promise, so I guess it's no wonder that we married first." He allowed the hanyou to think for a few moments before continuing. "I'm sure that if you had made the same promise, you would have-"

"We didn't make a promise like that," Inuyasha said flatly.

Miroku feigned ignorance. "Really? You two are so close…"

"There was no promise. But…"

Miroku finally looked at Inuyasha in surprise. Inuyasha hardly ever hesitated. This piqued his interest.

Inuyasha sighed before continuing. "But, I was planning on… you know…"

"Asking Kagome to be your wife?" the monk supplied.

"Yes," Inuyasha snapped, glaring at his friend.

"But Inuyasha, surely you know that there is no reason to wait with Kagome. She has loved you all this time-"

"She still has things she wants to do," Inuyasha blurted out, interrupting the houshi again.

Miroku, for his part, was stunned. At first, he was confused. But as he thought, the meaning was revealed, and he was shocked that his friend had taken such consideration for the girl. But of course, he wanted to hear his friend say it. If not for conformation, then at least for embarrassment. So he waited patiently for the man he could call his brother to finish the sentence he had started.

Inuyasha fumbled a little. He played with the seams of his hakama, tucked in stray pieces of gauze, anything to keep from finishing his statement. But Miroku only sat in silence, watching him.

Finally, he felt he needed to clarify. "You know, she's always going on and on about 'school' and stuff, and this is her last year. I figured that if she was still with me by then…"

And then Miroku got angry. Angry for his 'sister', angry for unacted-upon love, angry that his friend would think so little of himself. "YOU!" Miroku cried, standing to his full height and looking down on the hanyou. He pointed at Inuyasha. "It's always about that! Why can't you let it go? Kagome loves you, Inuyasha. She's not going to leave. It's been two years, Inuyasha. Two YEARS. She comes back all the time for YOU. She hangs on to the jewel, puts her life in danger for YOU. And you can't even make her the promise of marriage?"

Inuyasha had listened guiltily, but had gotten fired up at the accusations. He knew the danger Kagome was in, and pack brother or not, he didn't need to hear it from the monk. "You think I don't know that? I know she's in danger! We're all hurt right now because of it! Because of me! Because she doesn't want the well to close, she's hanging onto that stupid jewel, and youkai still want it, and know we're hurt, and Kagome is not here."

Miroku listened, but felt his point still hadn't gotten across. Really, his friend was just so… _stupid_ sometimes.

"Inuyasha, her choice is her choice. My point was that she does all this for you, and you cannot even make her a promise. If you know of all the things she has sacrificed, the least you can do-"

"I was waiting for her to finish school!"

"Inuyasha, what would happen if she didn't make it that far?"

This brought the hanyou up short, a confused look on his face.

"Inuyasha, if she dies before then, all you would have are more regrets. She doesn't need to be another Kikyou…" Miroku trailed off.

Inuyasha was seething. "Don't you dare bring Kikyou into this. And this is not the same."

"Isn't it? You and Kikyou got where you are because you didn't trust one another. Now, you don't trust Kagome to stay with you, so you let her endanger herself so that you can wake up one day to find her gone. You want to know if she's changed her mind, and won't find you worthy anymore. But she can be taken from you, Inuyasha. If we don't find her…" And Miroku realized his mistake.

"Find… her?"

The look Inuyasha was giving Miroku spoke volumes, and Miroku backed towards the door as Inuyasha rose now, unmindful of the pain from the wounds.

"What do you mean, 'find her'? Where is Kagome, Miroku?" he said slowly.

"Er, I think we've said enough for today, Inuyasha. I'll, uh… send in Sango for supper," the houshi said nervously as he backed against the spell that sealed Inuyasha inside.

"Have you been lying to me about Kagome? She's not home, is she? Where is Kagome, monk? What happened to her?"

Miroku could hear panic creeping into the hanyou's voice as the volume increased. Using his own power, the monk slipped through the doorway as Inuyasha pounced, and he quickly added his strength to the spell. He exchanged glances with Kaede and Sango, both of whom had surmised that something had happened by the hasty retreat and the hanyou's shouts. They heard Inuyasha crackle with energy as he tried to fight the spell in order to get out, but it held, and Inuyasha eventually became exhausted.

"I am sorry, Kaede-sama. I said something I shouldn't have, and now we will have to guard him constantly. From himself," Miroku told the old miko gravely.

Sango looked at her husband worriedly. She could only guess what happened. "He knows?" she asked quietly.

Miroku nodded, and they all hung their heads, knowing they were going to have a fight on their hands.

"Well, it's a good thing I put tranquilizers in his food then," the priestess laughed.

Miroku and Sango realized that this was the reason Inuyasha had stopped fighting them, and they relaxed.

"We'll have to watch out when he wakes up," Miroku said. The taijiya nodded, and Kaede rubbed her chin thoughtfully.

"We'll have to keep him like this in order to ensure everyone's safety, including his own," the elderly woman said. "Until Kagome returns, no one is safe," she added ruefully.


	4. IV

_**IMPORTANT!!!!!**_ There is a lemon near the end. If you are reading this on PaperDemon, deviantART, or FanFiction, this lemon will be edited out. If you would like to read the story in its' unedited format, please visit MediaMiner, The Red Curtain (PaperDemon), InuYashaFanFiction, or A Single Spark. Thanks.

_Thanks_:

**FanFiction** – kittyb78, flirtymiyu, MoonDust369, darknessofmyheart, kyo12591, sessysgurlapril13, chibi strawberry neko

**PaperDemon** – jns3372, Lady Battousai

**deviantART** – Katevan, lonelygirl818, Cali2007, TAngelCreations, Kohiiko, luvtodraw

_Replies_:

**MediaMiner** – _**brainshake**_: Ah, I'm sorry I didn't update sooner! I just have a lot on my plate right now, and I have an older story that I'm working on (Choices) that has some rabid fans I couldn't ignore. I happened to be updating that story, and didn't get around to this one until now. I'm glad you like my interpretation of Sesshoumaru's life. I don't really enjoy the 'castle' theme either – I think his mother may have one, but not him; he's a bit of a wanderer. And yes, it's going to be… uh… different when he gets his memory back. I hope you all like what I do to his character, although some may hate me. Like I've said, this 'sweet Sesshoumaru' is a product of his amnesia, and is not a complete character change. He's OOC because, well, he's not himself! LOL

_**buzzk97**_: I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Yes, everyone's question is 'What will he be like when he's back to normal?' Well, I'll be answering that eventually, but poor Sesshoumaru, he'll have to be an amnesiac for just a little longer. Maybe in chapter 5 or so…

_**redrose**_: Thanks! The only reason I don't put a 'dictionary' in the beginning is because people tend to not read what I write – they go straight to the story anyways. I had put one at the end of Chapter 1, but I still had people asking me "What's this mean?" LOL Oh well, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink. If you have a list of words you want to know the meaning of, don't hesitate to contact me though my email (it should be in my profile). That actually goes for everyone – I love when you guys email me, although I still love the reviews.

**ASingleSpark** – swasdiva: Have I told you how much I love your long reviews?! I squee with delight when I see a review from you! Thank you SO, SO much for the great compliments! I, too, feel for Kagome. I love SessKag, but I often feel bad for both Inuyasha and Kagome when I write for them. I guess there's no winning, huh? And I adore that you understand Sesshoumaru as I do. I've gotten some not-so-much-compliments about him being OOC, but I keep trying to explain that it's because he's NOT in-character right now… it's all in vain. Besides, like you, I feel like he was probably trained to suppress emotion, since he grew up a warrior. Perhaps this is his true self. And don't worry about your thesis – I wish I had a thesis from everyone that reviewed, or even read! XD If you ever feel extra-emotional, you can always email me!

_And a BIG thanks to __**Quimera-chan**__ for sending me the loveliest review – straight to my personal email – and for all the support! I'm not sure where you read this story, but I thank you for letting me know how much you like it!_

_**A/N**_: (&&&) is going to denote a dream sequence. Thank you for all the love and support for this story. I've gotten many lovely reviews, mostly from fellow SessKag lovers. I've wanted to do a SessKag for some time now, and I'm glad that my first one is so well-liked. I told you I wasn't abandoning this story – I was just really on a roll with Choices, Choices… (my AU) Wild horses couldn't drag the SessKag from my soul. P.S. Longest. Chapter. EVER. I hate the end.

"So baby I will wait for you,

'Cause I don't know what else I can do.

Don't tell me I ran out of time,

If it takes the rest of my life…

Baby I will wait for you,

If you think I'm fine it just ain't true.

I really need you in my life,

No matter what I have to do I'll wait for you". – Elliot Yamin, 'Wait For You'

**Chapter IV**

Kagome could get used to this.

After all, it was one thing to be carried around on someone's back, but it was quite another to be carried in someone's arms. Especially the strong arms of a Taiyoukai. And being that said youkai was extremely handsome, kind, and caring… Well, she could get used to it. In fact, she may already be used to it.

She had felt uneasy earlier, not really able to sort out her feelings. But after her bath, Sesshoumaru had joined her to change the bandages that protected her wound. She had forgotten all about whatever she had been thinking of, and only knew the hot, trailing, fluttering feeling of Sesshoumaru's fingers as they wrapped the gauze around her. She had been in a daze by the time he had finished, and he left her quickly, although she had seen the burning passion in his eyes. When she joined Rin for breakfast, they chatted happily and Sesshoumaru acted as though nothing had happened. She assumed he was just displeased that she was leaving, and didn't speak of it.

When everything had been packed and they were ready to leave, Kagome realized that Sesshoumaru was hesitating. Again, she thought that this was due to the fact that she was going home, but it dawned on her suddenly that he didn't know where the well was. And Rin and Jaken didn't know that he didn't know. Or at least they didn't let on that they knew for fear of retribution. So… how to get them to lead the way? She certainly had no idea how to get there from here, because she had no idea where 'here' was.

Suddenly, Sesshoumaru scooped her into his arms, and began to walk. Stunned, Kagome blushed and tried to get down. He had silenced her by giving her a stern look and telling her that she was still injured, and her wounds may reopen if she strained herself. Of course, this was not the whole truth, as Sesshoumaru simply wanted to hold her, and she was not going to comply unless given a good reason. His fingers burned to touch her, and he was only content once they were resting against her flesh.

Kagome didn't recognize any of the fields, woods, or rivers as they travelled, and she realized it was because she had been unconscious. And then she realized that Sesshoumaru had carried her through here already, and must remember this part at least. He was simply going back the way they had come. So she stayed silent, and they traveled until just past noontime, when he stopped to allow his followers to rest.

They resumed, and when the sun was low in the sky, they stopped amongst some trees next to a brook. Sesshoumaru left to hunt, and the girls travelled upstream to bathe in privacy. The water was cool, so they returned quickly. After dinner, Sesshoumaru led Kagome downstream and helped change her bandages. He didn't try anything and barely spoke, which both confused and disconcerted the woman. Back at the campsite, Kagome purposefully waited for the youkai to settle down first. When he was sitting up against the tree, she sat next to him, leaning her head on his shoulder. She craved contact, she told herself. Although a sneaky part of her subconscious reminded her that she had been in his arms all day. Soon, she was asleep.

Sesshoumaru listened to her breathe and was beginning to slip into slumber himself when he felt her weight increase, and cracked an eye to find her slumped into his lap. He adjusted her so she would be comfortable and closed his eyes once again.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

They had had no choice but to tell him. In fact, Kaede had told them that the angrier he became, the faster and more thoroughly the herbs would be distributed, making him fall asleep much quicker. So when he had questions, they told him. After he had eaten, of course. And poor Inuyasha, he never figured out that they were drugging him. Or that it came from his food. He only knew two things: That his 'friends' had lied to him and Kagome was not, as they had originally said, safe in her own time. And that he just couldn't seem to get enough sleep nowadays.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

When Kagome awoke in the morning, she felt very rested. Of course, it had more to do with the fact that she had a very comfy pillow – mainly the thigh of a certain youkai lord – but she figured it was because she had healed very well in the past few days. Good genes, or good hygiene. Something of that sort. Nevertheless, she could only smile as she looked up to find Sesshoumaru snoozing with his head cocked slightly to the side and pushed back against the trunk of the tree. She thought it must not be very comfortable, and here she was, enjoying a good nights' rest on his lap.

But if anything, it was comforting to see Sesshoumaru like this. Who knew this powerful, intimidating, menacing demon would do something so boring as sleep? He didn't look like such a threat like this; he looked peaceful, even. Kagome reached up and moved his bangs away from his forehead. She loved his markings; they made him seem even more regal. When the crescent was revealed, she realized that she never really thought of him as beautiful. Dangerous, yes. A pain-in-the-ass, even. And resilient. And tenacious. At times, she had thought he was handsome. But here, in the light of the rising sun, he looked… beautiful. He was quite the beautiful creature. She traced one of the stripes on his cheek. Before she had gotten to the tip, she felt a finger on her own cheek and realized that she had woken him up.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-" A finger on her lips silenced her effectively.

"Don't worry yourself over it. I was waking up anyway," he told her. In truth, he was waking up from a dream he had been having.

&&&&&

Sesshoumaru found himself in a dark, dank place that smelled heavily of miasma. Everything was so… gooey. He felt himself scowling. He was here to retrieve something… no, someone. But whom? Regardless, he began walking. And then he smelled… her. Walking quickly, he soon came upon the form of Kagome, looking much younger. She was in clothes similar to the ones he had found her in, but they were of a different color. And she was bleeding from her upper arm and unconscious. Alarmed, he wanted to run to her. But something kept him at a distance.

Instead, he found himself killing several eel-like demons that were coming after her. At some point, she woke up and let her pain be voiced. And then…

"You were… driving away the youkai?"

Why is she surprised that I would keep her safe? It is absurd that I would leave her there for the youkai to have… He wanted to reassure her, wanted to hold her and wrap her wound, but he did not move except to kill more of the youkai that floated towards them. His mind supplied that they were not unlike the shinidamachuu that followed Kikyou around. Surprised that he even knew that, he heard himself speak.

"That wound…"

He looked over his shoulder at her, and saw her clutch at the bloody spot.

"It was caused by Inuyasha's claws, wasn't it?"

She remained silent, her expression confused and hurt.

"So," he said, trying to keep the words in while they rolled off his tongue, "the hanyou has been consumed by Naraku's darkness…"

Sesshoumaru was appalled with himself. How could he be so heartless? Granted, he was jealous of the brother he didn't really know, but that was no reason to say that to her. Sesshoumaru balked at himself inside the confines of his mind. He sounded so… haughty. And what was this about his brother doing this? Weren't they in love? If so, why would he do this to the one he loved?

"Y-you're wrong…" he heard Kagome say, as she held her arm, wincing. "Inuyasha is…"

To his horror, Sesshoumaru's body still refused to obey him and he turned and walked away, not waiting for her to finish. Angry with himself, he moved on to other thoughts. _Ah, that's the Kagome I know_. Somewhere deep down, Sesshoumaru knew that it was indeed his brother that had made her bleed, yet she was defending him.

"Oh… Ah! Wait!" she cried as she watched him walk away, knowing her only chance of survival was to stick with the youkai.

He could hear Kagome scrambling to catch up, an occasional hiss of pain escaping her lips as she stumbled after him. _No, turn around! She needs medical attention. What am I doing? Why is my body not doing as I instruct it to? And why do I sound so… cold?_ Sesshoumaru was still yelling at himself within his mind when something drew him into blackness.

&&&&&

He had slipped into the world of consciousness and kept his eyes closed, feeling the tiny finger caressing him. This was becoming habitual; it wasn't the first time she had done this. Thinking about the disturbing dream he had had, Sesshoumaru remembered how vivid it was. Was it a premonition of what was to come? He didn't like the thought of himself being so cruel to the woman he cherished. He brought a hand up and caressed her cheek.

She was obviously embarrassed at her own actions. She tried to apologize, and he comforted her. Besides, he enjoyed it. He looked down at Kagome, and she was still pink-cheeked.

Kagome could feel his gaze and looked up at him. But gone was the peaceful, content expression she had seen. Now, he looked concerned or upset. Not sure if he would tell her what was bothering him, she chanced asking him.

"Sesshoumaru? What's bothering you?"

He was surprised that she had noticed, but he wasn't sure she needed to worry about what he had seen. "It is nothing you need to worry about," he told her. He winced, feeling that the 'him' from his dream had seeped into his vocabulary. He saw her frown, not taking that for an answer.

"I know I don't need to, but I would like to know," she informed him angrily.

With a little sigh, Sesshoumaru closed his eyes for a moment. Kagome thought he was going to ignore her, but he quickly opened his eyes again. When he did, his gaze burned her to her very core. It was very intense, but not in a lustful way. It was more like… regret. Like he was remorseful for something he had done to her. Was this about the kiss?

"Look, Sesshoumaru, if this is about…"

"I had a dream," he interrupted.

"A dream?" she repeated intelligently, a little confused.

An eyebrow arched as Sesshoumaru wondered just how awake she was. He sighed, and began to tell her about what he had seen. But it was evident, only a few sentences into the details, that this had happened in the past. Kagome looked at him wide-eyed. He finished his recollection of the dream and waited for her to say something.

"Well, I guess you're getting your memory back," she said a little warmly, although he could tell that she was smiling only for his benefit. He wondered why. "That happened to us in our last battle with Naraku. Inuyasha… He turned youkai and hurt me. But he also pushed me out of the way of himself. You found me and knew. But you saved me from the other youkai," she told him.

"I see," he said. Her smile had changed, but it was real now.

Kagome was a little panicked. He was getting his memory back in his dreams? Well, it was good in the way that his memories did belong to him. But… That would also mean that this… well, whatever this was, wasn't going to last. When he regained his memories, Sesshoumaru would return to his ruthless self and forget whatever feelings he had for her. _Hold on just a damned second! What is going on here?_ Kagome mentally berated herself. It was a good thing that he would be healed, and if he went back to his old self, what would it matter? She was going back to her old self, wasn't she?

"Perhaps we should begin our day."

The deep voice that was Sesshoumaru startled Kagome out of her reverie, and she nodded her agreement.

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"I wonder how much longer we have to travel," Kagome asked no one in particular.

"I, for one, don't know," Sesshoumaru told her as quietly as he could. "But if I were you, I wouldn't complain, seeing that you're not walking."

Kagome had the decency to feel sheepish. "I know, I know. I'm just anxious to see…" Here, she paused. She knew the topic of Inuyasha was sore, even more so now that he felt… something for the miko. "…my mom. And my little brother, too," she added.

Sesshoumaru made an agreeable noise and Kagome felt relieved. In reality, she was excited to see everyone. But she felt that if she had told him she wanted to see her friends, he would take it to include Inuyasha. Technically, that was correct. But she felt safer this way.

After about another hour of walking, they stopped for a rest. Rin decided to walk the dragon youkai to a stream to drink, and Jaken went along for protection, squawking about young ladies and roving bandits.

Kagome and Sesshoumaru sat in companionable silence for a few minutes; Kagome thinking of how she was going to explain everything to Inuyasha, and Sesshoumaru contemplated the memory-dream and wondered if he would have more.

_He's going to kill me._ 'Hi, Inuyasha! I'm back! I know I've been gone for a while, but everything's okay. You see, I made Sesshoumaru lose his memory and when I healed him I became unconscious. He thought we were lovers so he took me into the Western lands. And I've been there, splashing around in a lake with Rin and kissing Sesshoumaru. Oh, and healing, too. See, I've got this huge gash in my side where the Ogre you didn't kill got me. But we're okay now, and I'm gonna go home to see a psychiatrist, all right? Because even _I_ don't believe this crock of shit…'. Kagome giggled to herself, attempting to relieve some of the tension the upcoming argument was causing in her body.

Sesshoumaru could sense that the girl was nervous. She had told him that her friends had no idea what happened to her, and in the dream, Inuyasha had harmed her. Perhaps she was nervous he would do so again?

"Kagome, do you wish for me to stay until everything is sorted out once we are in your village?" he asked her suddenly.

Kagome was still hysterical from her imaginary conversations, so she had no idea what to think of this.

"Eh?" she said intelligently.

Sesshoumaru sighed, exasperated. "When we arrive, you will have to explain things, ne? Would you like me to stay?"

Kagome could only stare at him, dumbfounded. He was offering to stay? Why? It's not like Inuyasha is going to really kill her… _Oh. He thinks Inuyasha is going to harm me_.

"You don't have to, Sesshoumaru. But if it pleases you to do so, I don't mind. It's not like anything is going to happen," she reassured him.

"Hn."

"So… are you going to stay?" she asked. A part of her really wanted him to, for the comfort. But another part of her knew it would make things worse.

"I will," he told her. It wasn't that he didn't believe her, but he still wanted to make sure she was okay. On top of that, he hoped seeing his brother would bring back more of his memory.

After a few moments, she spoke again. "Sesshoumaru?"

The youkai looked at her, the only acknowledgement he gave.

"What will you do when I'm gone?" she asked.

Sesshoumaru pondered her question for a moment, turning it over inside his mind for the hidden meaning behind the question. He closed his eyes.

Kagome, for the fiftieth time, thought he wasn't actually going to answer this time. But when she turned away to watch a butterfly, he answered her.

"I will remember the time we spent together," she heard him say.

Kagome's eyes went wide and her lips parted. Her heart was pounding in her chest like thunder, and her mouth went dry. She didn't know what to say to that, and she didn't know why she suddenly felt so warm and muzzy.

"Um…" she said, her thoughts a little fuzzy, "will I… I mean, are you going to…"

Sesshoumaru looked at her questioningly. Her behavior seemed odd.

"… When I come back, will I see you?" she asked so quietly it was almost a whisper.

Understanding, Sesshoumaru chuckled. "Would it please you to see me then?" he asked, leaning close to her so that their noses were only a few inches from each other.

"I um, that is… er, I…" she fumbled around for words, but they were as incoherent as her thoughts were.

Sesshoumaru leaned closer, and Kagome felt her blood boil. He was going to kiss her, and she didn't feel like turning away.

"Kagome, you have not answered my question," he informed her in a deep, husky voice.

"I, uh… yeah. What I mean is, yes. I would like to see you when I get back," she managed.

Sesshoumaru, at the last moment, slid his face to the side, his lips brushing her cheek. They rested near her ear, so she could hear him. "Then I will wait for you," he whispered. He leaned back to the position he was originally in, leaving Kagome gasping for air and leaning towards him, looking very silly.

Kagome wanted to ask him so many questions, but it didn't feel right. What were his intentions? What did he feel for her? And then there were her morals. Was it right to have this kind of relationship with him when she claimed to love his brother? And Sesshoumaru still wasn't back to normal. Would he still have feelings for her when he regained his memory? And then there were his last words… 'Then I will wait for you…'

What did that mean? Was he promising her that he would stick around until she came back, or did it have another, deeper meaning? Knowing Sesshoumaru, it very well could mean both.

Sighing, Kagome closed her eyes, leaned back against the tree, and waited for the rest of their party to return.

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"Inuyasha, I swear, it wasn't like that. Miroku couldn't walk on his own, and Kirara had to carry you. What else was I supposed to do?" Sango pleaded from outside.

"I don't know!" Inuyasha cried. "But if it had been any one of you and I was unharmed, I wouldn't have left you!"

Sango begin to sob, and she cried on Miroku's shoulder.

"Inuyasha, put yourself in Sango's shoes. If Kagome was hurt, and I was missing, would you have stayed to make sure Kagome was safe, or would you have left Kagome with an unconscious Sango to look for me?" the monk asked.

They heard nothing but Sango's weeping, and Kaede assumed the point had been made.

With a collective sigh, they all waited for the tranquility herbs to take effect.

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When Rin, Jaken, and Ah-Un had returned, Kagome pretended to busy around in her pack and asked Rin and Jaken to go ahead – she and Sesshoumaru would be right behind them. The Taiyoukai had confided that from here, he had no idea how to get to her village. So the girl and the youkai jumped on the dragon's back and took to the sky.

"Thank you for doing all this," Sesshoumaru said.

"Please," Kagome said. "It's not hard to pretend like you know everything." Immediately, Kagome felt bad. "I-I'm sorry. That was rude. I didn't mean-"

"Don't trouble yourself, Kagome. It's not your fault. I… was a monster."

Kagome couldn't believe what she was hearing.

Sesshoumaru looked away, and the miko came over to him and put a hand on his arm. "Sesshoumaru?"

"That dream I had… my… memory? I felt how I was. I was… coldhearted. Is that correct?"

Kagome looked away. She couldn't answer…

"Please, Kagome. What was I like before my memory loss? Everyone has hinted that my brother and I don't get along…"

"Understatement of the Era," Kagome interjected.

"What?" Sesshoumaru asked.

"Nothing. It's just that…" Kagome sighed. If she told him, would he revert back to the cruel, heartless Sesshoumaru they all knew?

Sesshoumaru could sense her hesitation, but didn't push her further. But it didn't look good for him either way. If she didn't tell him, that meant there was nothing good to tell. If she told him… well, who knows what he might learn about himself?

She collected a breath. "Okay. The first time I saw you, you played a very bad trick on Inuyasha. You… you used a demon to act as Inuyasha's dead mother. You were using her to find out where your father's grave was," she said sadly.

"To find Tessaiga," Sesshoumaru added.

"Mm-hm," Kagome nodded. He knew the story from there – Kagome had told him a few days ago how he had lost his arm and regained it.

"Then, you met Naraku. He persuaded you to take a human arm embedded with a shard of the Shikon no Tama so that you could wield Tessaiga. He also gave you a nest of Saimiyoshou, to take care of Miroku," she explained.

"The monk. What were the Saimiyoshou for?" the demon asked.

Kagome smiled sadly. "Saimiyoshou were poisonous. They were-"

"To poison the monk. He used me, but I did it anyway, didn't I?" Sesshoumaru said through gritted teeth, as if all the hatred he had for Naraku had resurfaced.

Kagome was surprised at how angry he was at his former self. The old him probably hadn't given the houshi a second thought. "Yes. Miroku was poisoned, but I was able to help him. As for Inuyasha… You easily took Tessaiga away from him, and you tried to kill me. Inuyasha was worried for me, so when I got hurt-"

"I hurt you?" he asked, concerned and livid with his younger self.

"Well… sorta. You threw him into me, and I was knocked silly. Inuyasha made Miroku take me away, and you put your arm through Inuyasha. But he did it on purpose, and regained Tessaiga. You left after that," Kagome explained.

Sesshoumaru shook his head slightly. "I was so awful. No wonder he hates me," he said.

"No, no," Kagome answered. "He doesn't hate you. He knows you were being manipulated. And eventually, you overcame your desire to posses Tessaiga. He actually… looks up to you, Sesshoumaru. All he's ever wanted was for you to just be brothers. For you to accept him."

"But I never did," Sesshoumaru said angrily, although it was aimed at himself.

"There's always time," Kagome said, smiling gently at the handsome, expressive man before her. She opened her mouth to say more, but Sesshoumaru held up a hand.

"I… I don't want to hear any more," he said softly.

Kagome nodded and waited for him to sort through his thoughts. After a few moments, he sighed, picked Kagome up, and sped through the valley, quickly catching up to the rest of their little group.

When Ah-Un finally slowed, Kagome knew where she was. Well, she had for a little bit, but now she could get back to Kaede's with her eyes closed. She looked up at Sesshoumaru, who set her down on her feet. She still looked at him, though, and he nodded. She smiled, and they set off to walk into the village.

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"Miroku!" the taijiya hissed.

"Yes, I feel it too, Sango," the monk replied in a low voice.

"Yes, my friends," Kaede added, "there is a powerful youkai coming towards us. What do you want to do?"

Sango grabbed Hiraikotsu, and that was answer enough for her companions. They began to walk to the outskirts of the village, but ran into Shippou.

"Hey, did you guys feel that?" said laughing green eyes with a face that, over the past few years, had begun to elongate. Sango found herself wondering how she had missed seeing Shippou grow up.

"We did. We're going to see if it's a threat," the houshi answered.

Shippou laughed, and they looked at him strangely. "I'll say," he said.

Their looks became more curious, and he explained. "That's Sesshoumaru's youki. I feel Jaken, too."

More stunned then ever, Sango felt sad pangs of guilt. He knew Sesshoumaru's aura? When had he gotten older? Of course, Sango had been busy with her own life. Shippou lived with Kagome, so she hadn't paid him much attention. But now, she noticed exactly how much she missed.

"Hey, do you guys feel that aura?" they heard from the row of buildings next to them.

Sango's eyes lit up, recognizing the voice. "Kohaku!" She launched herself in the direction of the young man that was jogging towards them.

The siblings laughed as they embraced, and the rest of the group came to them.

"Kohaku, you look well," Miroku said happily. "How was your work?"

Kohaku skipped over the details of the past two weeks in a neighboring town where he was apprenticing under a farmer. Sango had arranged for him to live and learn with the man; he was to teach Kohaku while providing him with food and shelter, and Kohaku would work for free. It had been Kohaku's idea – he had never liked the life of a taijiya – and his family supported him wholeheartedly.

"So, it's just my luck that I get here right when a powerful demon shows up," the boy laughed.

Sango noticed that his face was elongating too; Shippou, as a demon, was growing quicker, but Kohaku had the appearance of a fourteen year old, whereas Shippou now looked like he was nine. "Actually, dear brother, Shippou has just informed us that the youkai in question is none other than Sesshoumaru."

Kohaku looked amusedly taken aback. "Wow. Uncle Inuyasha is going to love that, huh?" he laughed.

The three adults seemed to all look at each other in astonishment. In their haste, they had forgotten about Inuyasha. And if he woke up and sensed Sesshoumaru, he was undoubtedly going to get his wounds reopened. Miroku sighed, Sango shook her head, and Kaede looked towards the home that she definitely didn't want torn to pieces. They knew from experience that he usually slept for about four hours, and half that time had already passed. Assuming they had enough time, they decided to meet with Sesshoumaru.

Walking along the dirt road that led into a forest, they headed up a hill towards Sesshoumaru and, apparently, Jaken.

"Ah-Un must be with them," Shippou said as he sniffed. "Rin, too," he added.

They walked a few more yards when they noticed that the kitsune had stopped dead in his tracks, a haunted expression on his face. Kaede was about to ask him what he sensed when he answered the unasked question.

"And Kagome."

Sango was only shocked for a second before instinct kicked in. Grown or not, the boy knew Kagome when he scented her. So there was no reason to second-guess him. She ran in the direction they had been travelling and as she came to the top of the hill, she could see the small party of Rin and Jaken atop the dragon. A few paces behind was Sesshoumaru walking next to Kagome. They seemed to be chatting. Tears came to her eyes, and a strangled sound came from her throat as she ran as fast as her kimono allowed down the hill.

Sesshoumaru, sensing a stranger, growled and Kagome looked up at him. She followed his line of sight and found Sango barreling towards her. Seeing her friend crying and running towards her flipped a switch inside Kagome. Forgetting everything, Kagome began to tear as well, and ran towards her sister.

When they embraced, Kagome cried out, for the impact jarred her wound. Sesshoumaru was next to her in an instant, growling. He only refrained because this person was obviously the taijiya Kagome constantly spoke of. He could sense her strength, and could smell different concoctions on her that were meant to battle lesser youkai. Sango was alarmed that the Taiyoukai was suddenly so close and reached behind her back to reveal her boomerang. But Kagome held her arm, stilling it. The demonslayer looked at her friend questioningly, but Kagome only smiled.

"It's a long story, Sango. But I'll tell you later. Right now, I'm just really glad to see you, and glad to be back," she told the other woman.

Sango accepted it and hugged her friend again. "Kagome, I was so worried," she sobbed into her sister's… kimono?

Sango pulled away to get a better look at Kagome and noticed the drastic change in clothing choice. She hadn't noticed before because her grief and happiness had taken over; later, she also mused that it was the same length and shape as her usual outfits, so it hadn't seemed odd at the time.

"K-kagome?"

"Er, I can explain…" Kagome said sheepishly.

"That won't be necessary," Sesshoumaru said to her. Then he turned to Sango. "Her clothes were ruined, therefore I offered my kimono." Then he fell silent and returned to the background.

Sango was shocked that he would speak for Kagome, but it made sense and she didn't pursue it. She had a million questions for her friend, but before she could ask even one, a high-pitched voice rang through the air, making the other demons cringe.

"KA-GO-MEEEEEE!"

Kagome braced herself for the orange missile that was Shippou, but it never came. When she opened her eyes, Shippou was scowling several inches from her face. Further inspection proved to have the kit suspended in the air by his tail, caught by Sesshoumaru.

"Shippou, she is hurt," he said calmly.

Kagome was proud that not only did he know who Shippou was, but that he didn't act angry, only concerned. But there was no time. Suddenly, there was a flurry of activity.

"You're hurt?" Shippou squeaked as Sango stared at her, wide-eyed.

Then Miroku, Kaede, and even Kohaku were there, and everyone was talking at once. Kagome felt overwhelmed. She felt like the joy of her reunion was being sucked away from the event.

Sesshoumaru could feel Kagome struggling. He looked at her to find that she looked distressed. He tugged on her arm, pulling her back from the half-frantic, half-quarreling mob before them. She silently thanked him, and he nodded. Miroku was the one who noticed. Oddly, he found himself admiring the Taiyoukai. He had a great body, and probably didn't work half as hard to maintain it. Damned youkai and their genes. He wondered if the story about Kagome's clothes were true. Sango had repeated the explanation several times, but a half-naked Kagome and half-naked Sesshoumaru? Could there be more to the story? For now, he pushed the thoughts aside.

"Kagome, is it true that you're injured?" It was Kohaku that spoke. He was the only one that hadn't gone crazy with questions.

They all turned to look at her. She was standing next to Sesshoumaru, her hands clasped together in front of her and her arms locked straight. She felt like she had been suddenly tossed into the spotlight. Without knowing it, she leaned in towards Sesshoumaru until her weight rested against him. He did not uncover it, just allowed her to use him as a support.

"Y-yes. I was attacked by the Ogre…" she started shyly.

"The same one?" Shippou practically screeched.

She smiled. "Yep. The same one. But Sesshoumaru rescued me. He took care of me until now, but I had to come back. I have school tomorrow," she told them.

During her explanation, Miroku watched the demons' expression. Usually, he was stoic, proud, and without emotion. But now, as Kagome talked, he noticed that not only was he allowing Kagome to lean on him, but he looked… upset when she told them that he saved her. Could she be lying?

Sango seemed shocked, but in the end, she was simply grateful that her friend was back. She glanced over at her brother, but was surprised that he was stealing looks at Sesshoumaru's young ward, Rin. Off-handedly, she noticed how much Rin had grown since she last saw her. What was with all these kids growing up? She felt a little anger and jealousy, but shook it off. Her brother would have to marry someday – that was part of the reason he was sent away to learn a new trade – and who better than the sweet, beautiful, cheerful Rin? Quickly changing her mind as she watched Kohaku watch an unknowing Rin, Sango turned her attention back to her sister.

Kaede, feeling old and tired, decided that someone was going to have to get back to Inuyasha. With no youkai threat, and Kagome found safe and sound, she silently turned away to head back to her home.

Within a few minutes, Kagome was feeling drained and wanted to go. Sango thought it was odd that she hadn't once mentioned Inuyasha, but she guessed that had something to do with fatigue. But she would usually have at least asked about him…

"I think I'll go back with Kaede and start dinner. You are NOT cooking tonight," Sango laughed.

"Oh, Sango. I… I want to go… home. For dinner. I'm sorry. I've missed you all, but I want to see my family, too," Kagome told her friend sadly.

She could tell that even though Sango was smiling, it was fake. She didn't blame her.

Sango decided to catch up to Kaede anyways, Kirara and Miroku followed.

In the end, as they walked back to the village, they were back to their old group. Well, almost. Kohaku had struck up a conversation with Rin, and they had been chatting while Jaken yelled at them and tried to keep them apart.

Kagome walked beside the mighty youkai, but both were silent. Kagome thought back to the promises they made each other. Did that really happen? Did she just imagine that? _'What will you do when I'm gone?' 'I will remember the time we spent together.' 'Would it please you to see me then?' 'I would like to see you when I get back.' 'Then I will wait for you.' _Was it real?

Shaking the thoughts from her head, Kagome walked on. She looked up at Sesshoumaru to find him studying her intently. She blushed under his scrutiny.

"W-what?" she squeaked.

"What is on your mind?" he asked. It did not go unnoticed by Sesshoumaru that the miko had not mentioned or asked for his hanyou brother.

Kagome smiled up at him. "I was just wondering if you're real," she said before skipping ahead.

Sesshoumaru smirked as he watched her.

Several minutes later, the little group's happy moment was interrupted by a panicked Sango atop Kirara, flying at them as fast as her flaming legs could carry her. "Kagome, go back! Run!"

"What's wrong, Sango? Is something attacking the village?" she cried. She heard Sesshoumaru begin to unsheathe Bakusaiga.

"Worse. Inuyasha is out and he knows Sesshoumaru is here. He smells your blood, Kagome!"

Kagome didn't just hear, but felt Sesshoumaru growl, even though they were standing a good foot apart. He had rushed to her side at the sight of the frantic demonslayer.

"He will not harm Kagome," the Taiyoukai seethed, fastening his sword back into place.

Kagome looked worriedly at him, hoping the 'family feud' wasn't about to continue.

"Sesshoumaru, I understand that for whatever reason, you want to protect Kagome. But Inuyasha thinks you're responsible and won't listen to reason-"

At that moment, the hanyou in question came into sight.

"RAAAAAWRRRRRR!! SESSHOUMARU! WHAT DID YOU DO TO KAGOME?!?!"

Kagome sighed. Obviously, there would be no reasoning with him. It was then that Kagome noticed that like Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha was top-less. And there was a large, healing wound in his stomach. She gasped, feeling déjà vu hit her.

Inuyasha was leaping towards them at full speed, and the little miko was about to shout the words that would both save and harm the hanyou when she heard that deep voice – located slightly to the left and behind her – speak.

"Brother, I do not wish to fight you."

Kagome was shocked that it actually had the effect that he had intended. Inuyasha stopped dead in his tracks. Kagome mused that it was probably more of the usage of the term 'brother' than actually telling him he didn't want to fight. Inuyasha looked at him curiously from several yards away with suspicion in his eyes. Kagome didn't seem to be harmed, and she wasn't frightened. But, something was… different. She looked more… recent. Only when he turned his attention back to Sesshoumaru did he also notice something was… off.

Sesshoumaru knew it was coming. Very softly, he informed Kagome that he was about to notice their change in apparel. Kagome huffed indignantly, not caring what the hanyou thought. Sesshoumaru smiled to himself, enjoying her anger with the hanyou.

Kagome burned lasers into Inuyasha's bare chest as he looked at the two of them. And the tiniest bit of fear skated up her spine when she saw her friends' eyes open wide in realization. Well, Sesshoumaru had warned her for a reason.

"YOU!" he cried, pointing an accusing finger at Kagome, making her forget her anxiety as she scowled at him once again. "Why the HELL are you wearing HIS clothes?"

She scowled harder, if that was possible, as the half-demon raged towards them, stomping. She could practically feel Sesshoumaru's anger rolling off of him in crimson waves, and she steeled herself.

"Inuyasha," she began through ground teeth, "I have no clothes. If you would prefer me to prance around naked, I'll give Sesshoumaru his kimono back." She enjoyed his reaction as the hanyou stopped in his tracks once again and blushed, obviously trying to picture it.

She also heard Sesshoumaru snort a tiny laugh, probably a combination of his brothers' reaction and the thought of Kagome walking around with only those articles of clothing that covered her most intimate of parts.

He couldn't help himself. It was great bait, and he had the upper hand. What would you have done?

"Don't worry, little brother," he began.

Kagome, suddenly worried for whatever Sesshoumaru had to say in that condescending tone, turned to look at him with fear in her eyes, but Sesshoumaru ignored her, focused on the half-demon.

"She will not be completely naked. She has clothing that covers _those_ parts," he said snidely.

Every girl in the vicinity – Rin, Sango, and Kagome – as well as a few boys – Inuyasha and Kohaku – blushed bright red as they all knew exactly what Sesshoumaru was saying. It hadn't been what he said. But the way he said it implied that he'd seen her like that, and perhaps without the coverings as well.

Kagome looked up at Sesshoumaru angrily, and he looked at her finally. He realized that what he said had hurt her when he saw the heated look she wore. Attempting to rectify, he spoke again.

"But she will not be allowed to travel like that," he said seriously. "She will wear my kimono until she has more appropriate clothing."

The more mature people in their group and those that knew Sesshoumaru – Kohaku, Rin, Kagome, Miroku, Sango – realized that this was merely a joke; it was Sesshoumaru's way of teasing Inuyasha. But Inuyasha did not see this. He only saw red, and only wanted to see red. The red of his brothers' blood.

"How dare you speak about Kagome like that?" he growled.

"I did not impugn her honor, Inuyasha. Forget it, and let's get back to your village before either of you becomes more harmed," he told the hanyou.

Kagome was surprised that the youkai was thinking of his brothers' health as well. Inuyasha didn't care what the demon said. He wanted youkai blood on his claws. He only felt sorry that he had left Tessaiga in Kaede's hut. With a mighty leap, Inuyasha cleared the distance between them.

Sesshoumaru instantly put himself in front of Kagome, shielding her. She tried to protest, telling him that Inuyasha wouldn't harm her, but he merely made an agreeing sound. Inuyasha raised a hand, ready to slash at Sesshoumaru. But the elder brother was quick and held the arm in the air. The left arm of Inuyasha came from the side, and Sesshoumaru stopped that one as well.

"Why aren't you fighting back, you bastard?" Inuyasha cried.

Sesshoumaru sighed in exasperation, and Kagome cringed. He usually only sighed like that for her. Was that what it sounded like? She almost giggled.

"You don't listen very well, brother. I told you, I don't wish to fight." With that, Sesshoumaru - because he had forgotten how brash and tenacious his little brother could be - let go of the hanyou's arms.

And Inuyasha brought his right hand down with all his strength upon Sesshoumaru.

Kagome didn't remember screaming, but her throat was scratchy afterwards. Rin and Kohaku cried out for the youkai as well, but they were too far to do anything. Jaken waved his staff angrily and shouted at the hanyou, but everyone ignored him.

When the fog had cleared from everyone's mind, Sesshoumaru was standing in front of Inuyasha, who was holding his blood-soaked fingers up menacingly. Kagome had run around the Taiyoukai and was now in front of him, her back to the hanyou and blocking Inuyasha from harming the youkai any more.

Sesshoumaru was not happy. Here he was, trying to keep peace with his brother, and this was how he treated him? No wonder they always fought, as Kagome had told him numerous times. And now he watched as rivulets of blood were trickling on to Kagome's delicate hands. Undoubtedly, his hakama were probably being stained as well, and that made him even angrier.

But the worst part – the wounds didn't really hurt, after all. They weren't too deep and he would heal soon, especially after a meal – was Kagome's expression. She was crying, and even now she sought to protect him, even though it would take much more than a few claw marks down his chest to hurt him. And she was so frail… As a human, this could have killed her. Her life was so fragile that the tiniest thing could snuff out the flame that was her being.

Now, Sesshoumaru was angry.

"You fool!" he growled, punching Inuyasha square in the jaw. The shocked hanyou reached up to place a hand over the pain. "You could have hurt Kagome! What are you thinking? Attempt to use that tiny brain before you go swinging your claws around," he told his brother.

The outsiders of the arguing trio were shocked at both Sesshoumaru's way of speaking and his show of emotion. Sango had never seen him change his mood so quickly, nor had she ever seen him allow Inuyasha to hurt him. Kohaku, who hadn't seen Sesshoumaru in quite some time, noticed that his speech was much rougher; the Taiyoukai he knew spoke as if you were undeserving of his words. Rin and Jaken were still in shock that Sesshoumaru was openly bleeding. But neither dared approach. Rin knew this was between the adults, and Jaken seemed to feel how angry his master was.

Inuyasha had been shocked of his brothers' words for a moment, but now he regained his thoughts and smiled wickedly as he jumped backwards a few feet. He was livid, watching Kagome cling to his bastard of a brother. She had all of his blood on her tiny fingers. This was all wrong!

"What's the matter, Sesshoumaru? Have you slowed down in your-"

Kagome had had enough. "Inuyasha. OSUWARI!" she cried, sending the hanyou crashing into the grass face-first.

Sesshoumaru, seeing this for the first time – at least since his memory vanished – thought it was quite humorous. It lifted his mood, even. Not only had it harmed the half-demon's dignity, but it had kept the boy from harming Sesshoumaru's dignity. And it was all due to the tiny, fragile, human miko that was still clinging to him in a most delectable way. He smiled to himself.

Now, Sango came close. She attempted to lift Inuyasha onto Kirara's back, and they flew back to the village. The hanyou went without protest. His Kagome had defended Sesshoumaru, and he had made a royal jackass of himself.

Kohaku silently asked Rin to follow him; she knew the way to the village, but she was willing to allow him to lead her. She rode on Ah-Un with Jaken as the former taijiya took the dragons' reins and walked to the village.

Only Sesshoumaru and Kagome remained. She still had tears streaming down her cheeks and blood flowing over her hands. Sesshoumaru watched her interestingly. "Kagome," he said sternly, asking her to look at him without actually doing so.

She hesitated for a moment, but eventually looked into his amber eyes.

The smallest of smiles playing on his lips, he tried to reassure her. "Surely you know that something like this could not harm me," he said.

This only made Kagome cry harder. Puzzled, he tried to hold her, since she was already so close, but she pushed away at his shoulders.

"N-no, I don't want to get blood on your kimono," she said sadly.

"Kagome, I'm serious. Why are you so upset?"

She didn't seem to want to answer. But if anything, Sesshoumaru was a patient demon. He would wait.

When Kagome saw that he was resolved to wait for an answer, tears began to fall again. She sniffed; thought about the real reason. Attempting to wipe her face of the seemingly endless stream of tears, she inhaled deeply through her mouth, preparing to speak. As she did so, some of the blood from Sesshoumaru's wound smeared her mouth.

"Sesshoumaru, I…" Somehow at a loss for words, she licked her lips.

Sesshoumaru watched in wonder as she gasped.

Just from licking her dry lips, Kagome had felt a small shock – almost like being electrified. She had felt something like it once when she was young; she had pressed her tongue to the negative and positive parts of a nine-volt battery. It had given her the tiniest of shocks. She had giggled, but never done it again. Now, she felt it again, but there were no batteries in the Sengoku Jidai. And what's more, she had also felt a corresponding heat inside her.

Sesshoumaru felt it, but couldn't explain what was happening. When she had been jolted, so had he. He felt the same tingle that she had, and continued to examine her as she searched for the reason for this odd feeling. He had no idea as to what had caused it, but he found that he couldn't take his eyes off the blood on her mouth – his blood.

Perplexed, Kagome licked her lips again, a little more slowly. As her tongue dragged against the drying blood, the warmth inside her spread, and she felt weak-kneed. She was gasping for breath, her blood rushing through her body. This time, she had tasted the tiniest amount of rust – signaling blood; it hadn't been the fist time she had tasted blood, with all the demons they had fought. She looked down at her hands.

Oh. She slowly put together that she had wiped the blood on her hands onto her mouth, ingesting it as she licked her lips. But why did it have this effect on her? Oh. For the second time in a few seconds, Kagome felt that she was becoming more stupid. Sesshoumaru's blood. Forgetting the Taiyoukai in front of her, she now looked up into his crimson eyes…

Wait… crimson?

Now, she really noticed him. His eyes were crimson – she had only seen that before he turned into his true form – and his chest was heaving as he struggled for breath. He also seemed to be trembling. Was he hurt? Was he finally feeling the effects of the wounds? Kagome took a step forward, attempting to reach for him. He watched her movement, but he didn't stray from his spot. She touched his chest once more, and he shook under her touch. What was happening? Her worry grew, and soon, she was more concerned for him than about what had happened a mere minute ago.

"S-Sesshoumaru?"

Her voice was thick with anxiety.

Practically snapping to attention, Sesshoumaru focused on her eyes, but his remained the deep red color.

She had never seen the youkai like this, and it unnerved her. Why was he so affected? It was she that had felt the electricity, not him. She laid her hands on his heaving chest as she had when he had first been wounded. The gashes were trickling blood, no longer flowing as they had. She wondered if perhaps the loss of blood was causing this reaction in him; every time she had seen him badly hurt, he had disappeared, so she knew nothing about what he looked like after a fight. Even after they defeated Naraku…

"Sesshoumaru, are you all right?" she asked, her voice shaking as much as his hands were.

Sesshoumaru hadn't known what was going to happen when she tasted his blood. All he knew was that the first time she had done it, it had been an accident, and it was only a small jolt. But the second time, she had done it purposefully, and dragged out the feeling. It was a foreign reaction, yet it felt so right. But it was what came with it – Kagome's reaction – that left him trembling.

He felt the shocks numb the second time; they hadn't been as strong as the first. But other sensations had come with it, and he was positive she felt them too. And the delicious way she had moaned, the way her back had arched in response, the way she swayed… It was too much. But then, her scent changed, and he couldn't move. He could do nothing but stare and inhale the scent that called to him – her arousal. It had been accidental, yes. But for some reason, the fact that she had taken some of his blood had sparked a reaction in both of them, and now she was aching for him. He could practically feel the waves of lust rolling off of her.

Unfortunately, her distress over him had ruined the effect.

Sesshoumaru willed himself to calm, although deep inside, he wanted no more than to act upon his wish to take the miko as his own. But he also knew that this woman was not one that could be toyed with – she was delicate yet strong, weak yet resilient. And… she loved his brother.

And yet… she was here, with him, instead of with said hanyou.

Kagome felt slightly better as she watched his eyes fade back to the brilliant autumn sun color that they normally were. She had seen him work things through in his mind, trying to still himself and be calm. But what had caused such a reaction in the first place?

A tear slid down her cheek. "I'm so sorry, Sesshoumaru. I should have protected you from him. He goes crazy when-"

He snickered. "Protect me from him? Kagome, I don't wish to fight my brother. That is why he remains unharmed. He could not hurt me. I only wish to protect you," he told her evenly.

"But you're bleeding, and you were shaking and all weird and stuff…" she whined to his amusement.

So, she thought his reaction was because he had been hurt? "I'm fine," he soothed, placing a hand over one of the ones that still lay on his bare chest.

They stood like that for a moment, but something strange happened. To this day, Kagome wondered if it had been her powers reacting to a demon's blood, or if his blood was trying to bond to her skin – no one knew the answer. But in the quiet moment they shared, suddenly, Kagome's fingers started to burn so hot that she gasped in pain and took a finger into her mouth and sucked at it, not realizing it was still coated in the demon's blood. When she did, a fire started to burn deep within her, and she moaned from both the pleasure and pain of it.

Sesshoumaru felt it as well, and he tried to fight it, but to no avail. He barely managed to move to catch the miko as she trembled and her legs gave out, sending her nearly tumbling to the ground. In his arms, the smell of her arousal was too much, and he ravished her lips. She didn't fight back; it seemed as if she had been expecting it – like she needed it. He kissed her hard; days of pent up frustration at their situation tugging at his lips.

Kagome's mind went blank. It felt so right that she should be in his arms, and her arms went around his neck as he devoured her. She melded into him, and she could feel his desire for her through the thin hakama. On instinct, she ground her hips into him, and she shivered with delight when he responded with a hiss. This encouraged her already boiling blood, and she did it again, hoping for the same effect. It was not what she got. When she moved to press herself into him, he did the same, and their lips parted with their mutual groan. Kagome tried to take a second to clear her fuzzy mind, but Sesshoumaru was wild with passion.

He bent his head, placing his lips on her neck. A few layers of flesh, and there was the jugular, the channel in which her life's essence travelled. Now, it fueled her lust. It would only take a small prick of his fangs… He mentally grasped hold of himself. What was he thinking? Instead, he suckled gently where the artery throbbed, and she arched her back appreciatively, giving him a splendid view of her perky, full breasts under the thin fabric of his kimono.

Yes, that was _his_ kimono she was wearing. Like a badge of honor, he suddenly swelled with pride, and took it out on her by grasping a nipple between two teeth. She cried out in pleasure, and he was enticed to go further. He roughly pushed his clothing away from her body, exposing her to him. She gasped, half in modesty, half in excitement. But it turned into a whimper when he took the nipple into his mouth again; this time, no barrier existed.

Kagome was in ecstasy. Who knew attention from a man could feel this good? She hadn't thought it possible, but this amazing creature in front of her wanted to please her, and she was willing to give it a try. In a deep, far corner of her mind, a dark, black voice whispered to her 'since no one else seems to want you…'

Pushing all thoughts away, she concentrated on Sesshoumaru's heavenly tongue and the movements it was making. When he stopped, she had to keep herself from scowling at him. But when she looked up at him, she found the oddest expression on his face. He was mixed with lust, excitement, and pride. But it was there… apprehension. It was as if he was asking her permission – was she sure she wanted to do this? Smiling, Kagome licked one of the fingers that were coated in his blood. Both of them felt a surge of heat, sending them reeling. Like before, the little jolt of electricity was smaller, barely noticeable now. But the other effects were not so easily ignored. Kagome was trembling as if she was afraid, but that was furthest from the truth. Sesshoumaru had been brought to his knees by the overwhelming surge of lust that washed over him…

--------------------Lemon ensues, LOL----------------------------------

Since she had already calmed a little, Kagome marveled at the beautiful demon above her. She soothed him with little touches. She moved his already-soaked hair from his face and watched him pant, his eyes closed. When he finally opened them, he was graced by the most beautiful smile he had ever seen. He lovingly reached for her face, kissing her softly. She hummed softly, and he nuzzled her, breathing in the scent of her. She smelled like him, and that was they way he liked it. He was amazed that he wouldn't know this pleasure if she hadn't been wounded and he had to…

Like lightning, Sesshoumaru jumped up, extreme worry played over his features. Even his shoulders were bunched with tension.

At first, Kagome didn't realize what was wrong, so she just mewled her displeasure at the loss of his touch. He searched her body with his hands, looking for the wound. Pushing the damp kimono further from her body, he looked for the gashes the Oni had made.

Kagome, suddenly both frightened by his behavior and shy from his boldness, tried to pry the kimono closed.

He growled at her. "Woman," he rumbled.

She stilled. He finally was able to get to the bandaging, and sliced through it neatly. Kagome finally realized. Then, she wondered as well why her wounds hadn't been hurting and looked on as he removed the gauze.

They had both been shocked when he lifted off the now-soggy medical gauze and there in front of them was…

Nothing. Well, there were remnants of scars, like a freshly closed wound. But just a few hours ago, those wounds had been open, painful gashes! They looked at each other, then back to her skin, and back at each other again.

"Perhaps…" Sesshoumaru began, "in our passion, your body healed itself?"

Kagome thought about this, but tossed it aside. "I don't think so. I think I would have felt it. It drains me to heal, and I've never really healed myself. I just… I don't know," she said almost sad to not know what happened.

Sesshoumaru grasped her chin, turning her face up to look at him. "This is wonderful, Kagome. I'm glad you've healed. I have been worried," he told her before embracing her.

Kagome couldn't help but feel good. He was just so sweet sometimes. She kissed his shoulder. He let her go, and pulled the soaked kimono closed. He told her that they should be getting back. She nodded, noting that his own wounds were closed now. She wondered if her healed cuts had anything to do with his blood? After all, it had created such emotion in both of them. And he healed quickly, so would his blood make her heal quickly as well? Kagome didn't get a chance to voice her concerns. Soon, they heard a female voice calling out to them.

Sesshoumaru watched as Kagome seemed to panic, afraid that her friends would find out. His pride stung, a little sore that she would want to hide this. But then again, there was Inuyasha. So until she was ready, he would support her. She seemed to be looking around for something – anything – and he stilled her hand. He lifted them both off the ground, adjusting his hakama and the kimono. He smirked when he noticed that either way, you could practically see through the clothing. Sesshoumaru was not one to be modest, and he usually had the sense to stay out of the rain, so the white clothing had never been a problem. But now, he scowled, thinking a change to a darker color might suit him better. Or perhaps the royal purple symbols could be placed in more strategic areas…

Kagome had picked up her pack, a little calmed by Sesshoumaru's stoicism. They had only walked a few feet when Sango, Miroku, and Kirara bounded over the top of the hill, barreling towards her. They stopped nearby, and the humans got off the huge nekomata.

"Oh, Kagome! We were so worried! Kami, what took you?" Sango asked, approaching her.

Kagome was at a loss for words, but Sesshoumaru stepped up. "She was worried about my wounds, and she attempted to heal me," he told them.

The married couple seemed taken aback, but they clearly remembered the deep scratches in his chest left by Inuyasha. And now they were gone.

"Kagome-sama, that's great! You are honing your healing abilities!" Miroku said, trying to get a hug from the priestess.

A thunderous warning growl rang through the air, and the monk stopped dead in his tracks. Smiling sheepishly, he returned to his place at Sango's side. Sango wore an expression of shock – did the Taiyoukai just growl at Miroku for wanting to hug Kagome? In all honesty, she wanted to whack him over the head with Hiraikotsu. But there had been no need; he had been put in his place by the demon acting as body guard. Perhaps he had grown attached to Kagome, and felt a need to protect her? Was Sesshoumaru capable of such feelings? Shaking her head and dislodging quite a bit of water from her hair, Sango turned to Kagome.

"We'd better get you indoors before you catch a cold, Kagome," she said to her friend.

Kagome nodded, and Sesshoumaru walked quietly next to her back to the village. When they arrived – soaked to the bone – Kaede ushered them all in. Inuyasha growled, attempting to show Sesshoumaru that his presence was not needed. The youkai ignored him, only kept his eyes glued to the young miko. Almost everyone noticed; only Inuyasha remained oblivious. When she talked, he listened intently. When she moved, his eyes never left her form.

Miroku and Sango exchanged looks. They knew that kind of devotion. But this was _Sesshoumaru_, the cruel, heartless Lord of the Western Lands. They had never seen him look like this. Even Inuyasha didn't devote himself to her so thoroughly. And Kagome seemed unfazed by it. Every now and then, she would glance over at him and smile. The warmth of their exchanged glances heated the room. Shippou began to ask about it, but Miroku clapped a hand over the kitsune's mouth, effectively hushing him.

Jaken and Rin sat by, listening to everyone speak. They were happy with their master's decision of a mate; they weren't blind. They knew what was going on, but they would not offer an opinion to their lord unless he asked. Kagome told her story – the edited version – and answered questions. Kaede and Sango cooked, and Shippou played with some toys Kagome had brought from her time; he had grown a lot in two years and was no longer interested in crayons.

Kohaku sat with Rin; they exchanged glances almost as often as Kagome and Sesshoumaru did. Kirara and Ah-Un sat in the furthest corner, watching the humans. And finally, Miroku sat with a pouting Inuyasha, attempting to keep him calm and quiet. When the discussions had cooled, and they began to tell stories as entertainment, Kagome stood. She hugged Inuyasha, but he only 'keh'd. She made her way to Sango, Miroku, Kohaku, and Kaede. She hugged Rin, and even Jaken, who pretended not to enjoy it. When she pulled the flap away from the entrance, Miroku asked her if she needed an escort, since it was getting dark. She shook her head; Sesshoumaru would take her to the well. After all, Inuyasha needed rest.

When the two had left, the three adults looked at each other again, concern playing across their features. Inuyasha watched them leave, a look of longing on his face.

The moonlight was strong, despite it not being very late. They walked in silence for a while, until Kagome looked up at the sky. She stopped, gazing up at the stars. As she did, she was bathed in moonlight. Sesshoumaru almost gasped. She looked so ethereal. When she finally looked to him, she blushed under his intense gaze.

"S-Sesshoumaru…"

"Kagome, when will you be back?"

Kagome was a little stunned – she thought she would have told him.

"In five days' time. I'm not sure if I'll be back in the afternoon or at night, but I'll be back. Why?" she asked.

"Am I not allowed to see you?" he asked mischievously.

"No, I mean… yes. I mean…" She punched him in the arm. "Don't mess with me!"

He chuckled. "My little miko, you attempt to harm me?"

Kagome smirked. "My _Lord_," she said with a faux curtsey, "I couldn't harm you if I tried. Except, maybe, your dignity."

Sesshoumaru pretended to be offended. "Well, perhaps, then, I shouldn't do this…" He swept her up quickly, kissing her so passionately she thought she would faint.

She whined at the loss when he pulled away, placing her back on her feet.

"No, no… you can do that all you want," she said, only half-joking.

Sesshoumaru smirked, and she began walking towards the well once again. Within a few minutes, they were there. Sesshoumaru had been mapping the route; he didn't want to forget the way to this woman. Kagome dropped her pack on the ground and sat on the edge of the rim. The youkai looked down into it; he wondered briefly if he should try to jump into it. Kagome had told him that no one else had tried, except the kitsune, and he had failed. For whatever reason, his brother was the only other besides the miko that could pass through.

As if she could read his thoughts, Kagome placed a hand on his shoulder. "You shouldn't try. It won't work. It just wasn't made for anyone else except Inuyasha," she said with a sad smile.

He scowled at the well, as if his fierceness could force the well to allow him to pass.

While he still thought of the chances of passing to Kagome's time, she watched his expressions. For no reason at all, Kagome suddenly looked at her hand, still resting on his bare skin.

"Uh… Sesshoumaru?"

He looked at her, wiping the glare from his face.

"I'm still wearing your kimono."

He seemed mildly surprised. Already, it had seemed so natural, walking around bare-chested while she wore his clothing. But he smiled at her.

"Hold on to it. I'll get it from you when you come back," he said.

"So… I'll definitely see you?" she said, a little unsure.

"Nothing could keep me from seeing you when you return," he said as he embraced her one last time.

They molded to each other, seeking the others' warmth, their touch. It was Kagome that pulled away first.

"I'll see you when I get back," she said.

He dipped forward, capturing her lips in a slow, heated kiss.

"I told you. I will wait for you," he told her. Then he turned quickly and leapt towards the village, eager to leave the scrutinizing eyes behind. He was going to fetch his retainers, and wander for the days that Kagome was in her time.

Kagome watched him leave, and then picked up her pack. She glanced towards the village one last time, then swung her legs over the rim of the well and jumped.


	5. V

**A/N:** You guys rock. I wonder if you're telling people about my story, because even though there aren't many reviews, I still get notifications of favorites and subscriptions and watchers and whatnot. I thank you all so much for that. Holy angst, Batman! The end of this chapter killed me. AGAIN, reviews are fuel and love. Sorry, again, for leaving it where I did. Believe me, it was necessary… T-T

Once more, (&&&) will denote a dream sequence **OR** a flashback. 

**fanfiction:** kittyb78, knifethrower, moondust369

**InuYashaFanFiction:** BrownEyesOnlyForSesshy15, Muts

**dA** cali2007, Sharia, luvtodraw, no1s angel

**The Red Curtain** jns3372

**_Replies:_**

A-Single-Spark:

**DivaG **– I'm glad you like it. Yeah, I never saw Sessh as a 'castle' kind of guy. Cooped up in a castle with a ton of youkai around him? He'd kill them all! No, he's better with just Rin and Jaken. You'll see where the story leads, as far as any previous attraction. In the meantime - thank you for understanding!!!! It is so rare that someone understands that he's not in character because of his condition. Again, thanks! I'm so glad that you're looking deep into the characters, too. If you keep reviewing, I'll keep writing. Thanks again!

MediaMiner:

**brainshake **– Yep. I've been hyperventilating over the past couple of weeks to see what would happen. I've got some good stuff to use now. ;) Hmm… I can't wait for him to get his memories back. I miss the old Sessh. XD So I'm eager to write him for you guys. But… patience is a virtue… Oh, yeah – LOL I realized that later! I was like… . Umm… How did Ah-Un get in there??? XDDD

**buzzk97** – Thanks so much! I love it when fans are reading more than one of my stories. I love writing for slightly-bigger-Shippou. He's gonna be a real heart-breaker when he's older. I know what you mean – I often find myself feeling bad for Inuyasha. But, he had his chance. And he blew it. It's Sessh's turn. ;)

**KittenSeras **– Thanks! And I hope to get another review from you soon!

Chapter V

The next day sucked. Royally.

Not only had Kagome have to sneak into her own house for fear that her family would see what she was wearing, but she felt… sticky. She needed a shower, badly.

But the next day, the feeling had not dissipated, and she had more problems, now. Along with the tiniest amount of blood, she was having cramps, and she felt a little feverish, although that could be from staying out in the rain.

So she took some Tylenol and trudged through the day. She was elated about Sesshoumaru… was this going to be a real relationship? What about Inuyasha? Her heart twanged painfully when she thought of him, although whether it was pity or longing, she wasn't sure. Luckily, the pain of her first sexual experience was keeping her grounded, so that her nosy friends wouldn't ask her a million questions. Actually, ever since she had started High School, her life had seemed "normal" once again to her friends, and they hardly ever questioned her anymore.

But now, as she walked home, would come the difficult part. She would have to tell her mother about the uniform. Perhaps she could get a part-time job and pay for a new uniform? In the mean time, she had to wear one that was newer; one that her mother would scream at her for wearing, when she had another one that was perfectly useable… Kagome giggled to herself. _Yeah, about that, mom_…

She kept thinking about yesterday. It had haunted her, and she could barely concentrate on her studies. All this time, she had been released from thinking too much about her other life, since Naraku was gone. But now, her life was once again thrown into disarray. And all she could think about was Sesshoumaru. The way he could melt her with a single touch, a kiss, a word… And he was so gentle and tender and caring… Kagome stopped herself. She sounded like a gushing teenager! Well, she was. But she didn't want to be, and now that she thought about it, she sounded silly.

So Kagome climbed the steps to the shrine, attempting to go straight to her room and change. But, of course, her mother always knew when she was home. She was like a bloodhound, an eagle, a fennec fox… Somehow, through scent, sight, or sound, her mother knew.

"Kagome! Oh, you're home, lovely!"

Kagome rolled her eyes; it didn't go unnoticed that she wouldn't have done so if she was facing her mother. _Well_, she thought. _At least she never saw me come home in Sesshoumaru's kimono_…

Kagome turned, making sure her smile was bright and genuine. "Hi, mama, I'm back."

"Welcome back, dear," her mother said. Then, as expected, she stopped in her tracks a few feet from her daughter, examining the uniform. "Kagome, dear. Why are you using the new uniform? Did the old one finally give out?"

Kagome noticed her mother seemed more concerned than angry and exhaled mentally. "Yeah, mama. The skirts'… uh, band ripped and the shirt tore…" Well, it wasn't complete lie. She merely forgot to mention that the top was ripped by an Ogre and the skirt was torn by Sesshoumaru…

"Oh, okay. Well, at least you had a spare," her mother said cheerfully before banging around in a cupboard.

_Well, that was easy_, Kagome thought. Perhaps she shouldn't have hyperventilated when she thought about telling her mother. When had she begun keeping things from her mother because she thought she wouldn't understand? Her mother had been her best friend, until…

Until Sango. Ever since Naraku had been destroyed, her Feudal Friends had become replacements for her family. Actually, it was more like they were her real family, and these people were the replacements while she attended school. Her brother was the replacement for Shippou, and she ignored her jii-chan like she did Miroku. Whereas she used to tell her mother everything, now she told Sango. And Inuyasha… Well, there was no replacement for him because he was usually in both eras. But there was absolutely no replacement for Sesshoumaru.

Now she felt the strong pull – the pull towards the well house. But, she had only been here a day! Usually, she enjoyed her time with her family: she slept in a soft bed, took hot baths, and watched TV. Why was she so anxious to go back? She scoffed at herself. She wasn't stupid. A fool, maybe. But stupid, no. There was a difference. And the tug on her soul reminded her that Sesshoumaru was the reason she was a fool. What was she doing, anyways?

Kagome had climbed the stairs leading to the second floor, where her bedroom, as well as the others', was located. As she undressed, her hand travelled over the expanse of skin that was lightly marred and still fading. She marveled at the new skin. How had she healed so quickly? Perhaps it had been her powers, even though she had put that notion down when it was mentioned. After all, she hadn't felt her powers flare. But perhaps she had become powerful enough that if she required healing, it was done automatically? No, then she would have been healed days ago.

Frustrated, Kagome changed into a sweater and jeans. The weather began to get cooler today; she hadn't expected it because she had gotten home just in time for dinner and then went to bed, not allowing her to view the weather forecast on TV.

&&&&&

She couldn't believe her luck! Souta was probably in his room playing, and jii-chan had fallen asleep on the couch. Her mother… well, she wasn't sure – she could be in her room, or perhaps ran to the store for a forgotten ingredient in tonight's' dinner. Regardless, there was no one around as she peered in the kitchen door. She made a mad dash for the stairs, taking two, sometimes three at a time. When she finally closed her door – quietly – she leaned against the back and tried to catch her breath. Quickly, she untied the yellow and blue obi and threw it and the kimono on her bed. She reached wildly for her drawers, searching for a new set of clothes.

When she was satisfied that she looked like she had been home for a while, she folded the kimono and obi and tucked them under her pillow. Running her hands over her hair, she went downstairs to meet her family. Her mother was in the kitchen, and she heard her brother bounding down the stairs after her.

"Hi, mama," she had said a little nervously.

"Oh, hello, dear. When did you get home?"

Kagome fumbled with her fingers. "A little while ago. I wanted to catch up on some studying, so I didn't bother anyone," she said, looking out the window.

"Oh, ok. How's Inuyasha?" her mother asked innocently.

The name sent Kagome's heart beating erratically. She honestly didn't know how Inuyasha was doing. She hadn't really paid attention… "I, uh… he's fine, I guess," Kagome said, now realizing she had been staring at Goshinboku through the kitchen window.

Her mother noticed how tense she was, and how she wasn't looking at her. Kagome was a terrible liar. But Kagome also knew when she wanted something hidden, and if she wasn't ready to tell her what was wrong, she daren't ask. Mrs. Higurashi went back to stirring her rice and told Kagome that dinner would be ready soon and to please wake up her grandfather. She giggled a matronly chuckle; muttered something about Kagome's father and falling apples and trees.

Kagome didn't have to wake her grandfather. Souta had done that, which was apparent by the argument they were having when Kagome walked in.

"Hey, sis," Souta had chirped. "When did you get here?"

"Am I not allowed to be here or something?" Kagome shouted angrily.

Souta and his grandfather looked at each other.

"Dinner!" came a melodic voice from the adjoining room.

Kagome sighed as she followed her family to the table.

After dinner, Kagome was so exhausted – between the lying, the strain on her body, and her families' antics – that she went straight to bed. She didn't undress, just lay face down on her bed and settled. Bringing her arms up under her pillow, she felt the characteristic soft fabric of Sesshoumaru's kimono. Smiling as she grasped hold, she fell into slumber.

&&&&&

She studied for a few hours before her mother called for supper. They had had a quieter dinner tonight, but Kagome was restless; she still felt the nagging pull on her soul towards the well house. After dinner, Kagome helped her mother clean the dishes. Her mother hummed softly as she dried; Kagome was washing, thinking about her situation. Her brother and grandfather had retired to the living room.

She sighed, and her mother felt it coming. "Mama?"

"Yes, my dear?" She tried to sound as nonchalant as possible.

Kagome searched for the words. But her tongue failed her. Realizing her daughter was stuck, she fumbled for a way to ease her into it. If Kagome ever had problems for the past three years, it was almost always about Inuyasha.

"So, when can I expect Inuyasha to come for ramen?" she asked her eldest child.

Kagome almost dropped the teacup she was holding.

"Uh, mama… about that…" Mrs. Higurashi watched as her child fumbled and tensed. Something wasn't right.

All she could do was wait for Kagome to open up.

It was as if her mother could see right through her. She was asking all the right questions, and Kagome was hesitant to answer them. But why shouldn't she? After all, if she left out the parts that contained blood, horror, pain, and sex, it was a pretty good story. With a collective sigh, Kagome relented.

"Mama, I don't think Inuyasha will be coming by very much from now on. I… I don't know. We're not… We were never really together…"

At her daughter's pause, she could tell where this was going. "And it's been three years," she said, almost to no one in particular.

"Exactly!" Kagome said both excitedly and angrily. With a nod from her mother, she continued, emboldened now. "It's been so long, and Miroku and Sango have been married for two years now, and Shippou is growing up, and where am I? I'm still stuck in the same place!"

"Well, so is Inuyasha, I'm assuming," her mother said objectively.

This brought Kagome up short. "Eh?"

"Well, for the past two years, nothing really has changed for him, either, right?"

Kagome thought this over. Nothing changed for him? She tried to argue a point to her mother, but came up with nothing solid. She was right; Inuyasha's life was the same as well. But… was she expecting something different? Was he?

"But mama, what could be different for him?" she asked.

"Well, I don't know," she told her daughter truthfully. "You would know better than I would. But look at it this way. He is still protecting you and the village-"

"So are Sango and Miroku," Kagome interrupted stubbornly.

Her mother laughed. "Well, yes. But their lives had changed. You said that Miroku had a hole in his hand that vanished when you defeated this Naraku?" Her daughter nodded. "Well, then, his life changed. And your friend Sango, she had a brother that was brought back to her?" Kagome had turned her R-rated life into a G-rated story for her mothers' sake. She nodded again. "Then her life changed as well. They both accomplished what they had set out to do."

"But so did Inuyasha!"

"Yes, he defeated his enemy. But what about his first girlfriend?"

"Kikyou?" Kagome said, the name stumbling across her lips.

"He fought to avenge her, no?"

"Yes, so his life changed as well," Kagome said.

"Did it? What have I always told you about revenge, Kagome?" her mother asked, taking the dish Kagome had washed.

"That…" She thought for a moment, trying to see where this was leading. "That it won't bring back the ones we love," she said, understanding her mothers' intent. Even though Inuyasha fought for Kikyou, it wouldn't bring her back. And even if she was avenged, Inuyasha would always feel partially responsible for everything that happened. "So… even though Naraku is gone, things haven't changed for him," she said sadly.

The two women worked in silence for a few moments.

"And that isn't the only thing that hasn't changed for him," her mother said, slicing into Kagome's thoughts.

She almost asked her mother to repeat herself, but as her brain jump-started itself, Kagome caught on. She waited for her to continue.

"You haven't changed either," her mother said matter-of-factly.

"Yes I have," Kagome protested, careful not to become too cross with her mother.

"Are you still in school? Do you still live here?"

Kagome thought about it for a second. And realization flew into her mind like a thousand bats returning from a night of feeding to their cave. She _hadn't_ changed. She was living in both times still, because she hadn't wished away the jewel… another thing that hadn't changed. The jewel still existed, and still tempted demons and humans alike, although it was impossible to use for evil now. And they killed those that sought its' power. And when it came down to it, she came back to her own time, and went to school. But soon, she would graduate. What would happen then? She hadn't given it much thought. Would she go to college? And do what? Or would she get a job? Again… what would she do?

It was a lot to think about, and Kagome's mind was swirling with questions and possibilities. She remembered her mothers' questions.

"Yes," she said simply.

And they finished the dishes in silence. Afterwards, Kagome walked up to her bedroom, finished her homework, and went to sleep clutching white cloth.

---------------------------------------------------------

It had been twenty-six hours, thirty-two minutes, and fifty-six, fifty-seven, fifty-eight, fifty-nine… Twenty-six hours and thirty-three minutes since Kagome had left, according to Sesshoumaru's calculations. He was… restless. Wandering somewhere in his lands, he was looking for something. He had a vague thought that it might be Kagome he was looking for, but he tried to tell himself that he wanted to kill something.

He had left Jaken and Rin, much to their consternation, and was now prowling amongst the trees. But as time crept along, it was becoming more and more obvious that he wasn't hunting… he was sulking. He had awoken this morning feeling less than jubilant, and it had gone downhill from there. With a sigh, the youkai turned and leapt towards his retainers.

After a recap of what she had done since he had left, Rin left to bathe and catch herself a fish. She wouldn't dare ask her Lord to provide her with food. With Kagome in their group, he had provided for both humans. But with the miko gone, he had no reason to hunt. A tiny pang of jealousy twanged her heart, but she chided herself mentally as soon as she had thought it. She loved Kagome. She was so sweet and kind, and didn't mind hearing her prattle on. As an afterthought, Rin wondered if she would ever marry, her husband hunting and bringing her something to cook…

After Rin and Jaken had disappeared, Sesshoumaru sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. Was this what it was like without the woman around? It was so… meaningless. Why did he have all this damned land, anyways?

Finding a comfortable tree to lean against, Sesshoumaru sat and closed his eyes in the rays of the setting sun.

&&&&&

When he awoke, Sesshoumaru found himself riding Ah-Un. When had he mounted the beast? And if he was riding, where were Jaken and Rin? Looking around, Sesshoumaru also found himself fully clothed… wait, something's not right. Bakusaiga was missing! And there was no way he could have gotten his kimono back from Kagome without knowing. This must be another dream.

He found himself ordering the two-headed dragon to fire, and he looked down as the burst of flame from one head engulfed something on the ground that he was falling to. He was standing in an instant, the smell of burnt flesh in the air as the hand that was holding a sword in the ground melted away. Ah-Un grunted behind him as he faced his younger brother and his group. He heard Kagome say something, but he couldn't turn his head – his attention was on the katana that was embedded in the earth.

"Sesshoumaru!" he heard the hanyou cry out. "Why the hell are you here?"

He finally turned and saw Kagome with the kitsune, both looking much younger, as well as an old demon he felt he knew. "That's my line," he heard himself say. "I came in search of the blade. It seems the Oni you killed still sought revenge, even as steel."

His brother seemed dumbfounded, but he could tell the others in the group were not as dim-witted.

"He knows Toukijin was forged from Goshinki's fangs?" the female taijiya said.

"That means…" the monk began.

"That this Sesshoumaru was the one that commissioned Kaijin-bo to forge this blade? Yes," Sesshoumaru informed them. He could feel the evil aura pulsing from the sword, aching for the blood of his brother. He had such an evil sword made? For what purpose? He had Tenseiga and Bakusaiga…

"But…" he heard Kagome say.

"Sesshoumaru, you must not touch Toukijin!" the old youkai yelled from the protection of Inuyasha's back.

He may be dreaming, but even now, he could feel the anger at such a foolish statement. After all, he was Sesshoumaru, Lord of the Western Lands!

"Even you, if you are touched by Toukijin's evil aura, will be possessed… just like Kaijin-bo!" the old man continued.

"Keh," he said. He sounded remarkably like Inuyasha, and it did not go unnoticed. He grabbed a hold of the evil blades' hilt and pulled it free from the ground.

"Just who do you think this Sesshoumaru is?" he asked them, smirking. He felt the aura give way to his tremendous power, and felt righteous in his statement. They shouldn't underestimate his power…

He watched the astonished faces of Kagome's friends and wondered what they were thinking. No matter…

"Hn. It seems that a sword can pick its' master as well!" he told them. He faced his brother. "Draw, Inuyasha. There's something about you that this Sesshoumaru must confirm…"

Confirm? What did he have to confirm? Was this a test? He was testing his brother? For what purpose? He was picking a fight with his brother in front of Kagome and her friends… No wonder they were all so weary of him. The hanyou looked shocked.

His heart twisted when he heard Kagome's voice. "Don't, Inuyasha," she pleaded, trying to hold him back. The hanyou replied by telling her to stay back, and the old codger made a snarky remark.

"Keh. Even if I asked him to wait, it's not like he would listen!" Inuyasha yelled to those around him.

"Very true," Sesshoumaru heard himself say. Was he that bad? "Now come." Yes, he must be that bad. "If you won't, I'll come to you," he said, charging at full speed towards the hanyou.

"Don't worry, Sesshoumaru!" his brother cried as he drew his sword.

Tessaiga, his mind supplied. Before his eyes, the small, dull-bladed sword transformed into a magnificent, large, fang-like blade. But something was wrong. It looked like Inuyasha was having trouble wielding it. With a resounding 'clang', the two blades met. It had seemed effortless to him, even though… He had only one arm! He was wielding Toukijin easily with his right hand, but he had no left! He thought about the stories Kagome had told him. He had lost his left arm battling Inuyasha. Therefore, if this was indeed another memory, then this took place sometime between the points where he lost his arm and before he regained it. And now, he had goaded Inuyasha into fighting yet again? What was he going to lose this time?

The power from Toukijin was barely suppressed by his brothers' sword, and he could tell that all was not right with his Tessaiga.

"He still can't fully take a blow!" he heard Kagome say, referring to Inuyasha.

Sesshoumaru noticed that whenever she spoke, it was mostly to Inuyasha. She never addressed him.

"And he's still not controlling his blade," the kitsune said from the miko's shoulder.

The old demon made some negative comments.

The houshi was the next to speak. "Are you saying he has no chance of winning?"

"Well," the youkai explained, "he can't swing Tessaiga. So frustrating… Toukijin is dangerous enough… But to fall into Sesshoumaru's hands? Of all people…"

Sesshoumaru looked at his little brother as he stood back, covered in minor wounds from their scuffle. Suddenly, his thoughts were no longer his own.

_Just as I thought_… he felt. _He smells only of hanyou. During that battle with Goshinki, his blood did change. As for what that means, I'll just have to see it myself_.

"Have you changed fighting styles, brother?" he asked the half-demon. "Usually, you charge at this Sesshoumaru swinging your blade around…"

"Shut up!" the hanyou cried as he charged.

Their swords met again with a clang and hiss of power, effortless for him, but it did not appear to be the case for his brother.

"Hn. Has Tessaiga grown a bit heavier?" he asked sarcastically.

This seemed to irk the hanyou. "Not just a bit, baka!" he spat, forcing Sesshoumaru away from him with great effort.

"Hn," Sesshoumaru remarked, "such a blade is beyond your strength." He began rushing towards his brother. Was he attempting to take Tessaiga for himself? "It would be better if you didn't have it at all!" And with a mighty swing, he knocked the great fang from Inuyasha's hand, sending it plunging into the ground a few yards away.

The monk cried out, and Kagome called out to the hanyou, with the kitsune adding a smart remark.

Inuyasha cursed, and Sesshoumaru was curious to see yet another old demon, this one a tiny flea. He seemed familiar as well…

"Hurry up and take a hold of Tessaiga!" the little bug said anxiously.

Sesshoumaru watched in horror as Inuyasha only glanced at his sword before telling everyone that he didn't need it. Was his brother crazy? He was armed, and his foolish hanyou brother was going to come at him with no weapon?

"No, Inuyasha!" Kagome cried.

"You can't go up against Sesshoumaru bare-handed!" the fox kit said.

Apparently, Inuyasha's group was much smarter than he.

"Inuyasha-sama, you mustn't get desperate!" the flea said from his brothers' shoulder.

"I can't win with a sword that heavy," Inuyasha yelled as he rushed towards him.

Sesshoumaru felt himself gathering his power as the hanyou grew nearer. With no way to stop himself, Sesshoumaru barked at his brother: "Know your place, fool!" And with that, he swung Toukijin at Inuyasha, still too far to make contact. But the evil blade glowed, and sent its' power out towards the hanyou it wanted vengeance on. He watched, frozen, as Inuyasha was cut and sliced, throwing him back several yards.

"The blade's power alone threw him back?" the woman Kagome had called Sango exclaimed.

Feeling unsatisfied, Sesshoumaru felt himself loom over his younger brother. "In the end, a hanyou is a hanyou. Die, Inuyasha," he said, and Sesshoumaru wished Inuyasha had taken his right arm as well. He began to swing the blade towards his defenseless brother as he heard the monk yell at Inuyasha to run.

He was so close… but then, something happened. Sesshoumaru smelled something – sensed something – and it made his blood run cold. Inuyasha throbbed with power suddenly, and it was not the power of a hanyou. The Taiyoukai felt his spine stiffen and his heart thump erratically. He heard Kagome call out to his little brother. It was as if… his very blood had been transformed into youkai blood…

And then, a great blast of flame was being hurled at him, and he was engulfed by it, although he remained unharmed. It would take more than a little fire to injure him.

"Toutousai!" he screamed, more out of anger of his interrupting than anything. So, was that the old codgers' name?

He hadn't seen what happened, but Inuyasha's friends had used the fire to take him and escape, leaving Sesshoumaru alone in the field.

Jaken showed up soon afterwards, and began prattling on, as always. He asked his Lord why he hadn't given chase, but Sesshoumaru didn't answer. He had gotten what he wanted. He hadn't been after Tessaiga, really. He had been testing Inuyasha and his blood.

The last thing Sesshoumaru remembered thinking was of vengeance. _To have made this Sesshoumaru feel even an instant of fear… I won't forget this, Inuyasha!_

_&&&&&_

Sesshoumaru woke with a start, his heart pounding from the exhilaration of the dream. It was a dream, wasn't it? But it wasn't, since it had actually happened. He would have to ask Kagome when she returned. Kagome…

He remembered vividly how frightened she was of him, and how frightened she was for Inuyasha. But she was a strong priestess… why didn't she use her powers? Sesshoumaru shook his head. No, she wouldn't have used her powers against the brother of the man she loved.

This brought a whole new question to mind. Did she still love Inuyasha? After what happened… He assumed she had developed feelings for him, but what if he had been wrong? Again, he was sure of Kagome's devotion. _No, Kagome isn't the type to lay with someone she doesn't have feelings for. But Inuyasha may try to persuade her._

This shone a new light on things, and he could feel his hackles rise in defense. Brother or not, the woman was his now! He would not allow Inuyasha to take her away. Ultimately, it was Kagome's decision to make. But if he knew anything about his little brother, it was that he was stubborn. _Yes… Inuyasha will try to force her to stay, and she'll rebel_. He laughed a little at his imagination, playing out a scene where Inuyasha tried to lock Kagome in the hut, and she used her powers to knock it down in order to get out. Of course, Kagome wouldn't risk harming her friends' home, but the little daydream lifted his spirits.

Now, he just had to get through the next few days…

-------------------------------------------------------------

The next two days were almost painful for Kagome. She tried to concentrate on her schoolwork and succeeded most of the time, but sometimes she found herself doodling a name, or drawing crescent moons. By Thursday, however, she was enjoying being back in her era. She helped her mother cook, and the two of them chatted a little. Her friends dropped by, and they gabbed, shopped, and studied.

Friday came along, though, and she became erratically excited. After all, she was going to see Sesshoumaru today. She barely caught a word of her classes; she mostly daydreamed of what she should wear or how their greeting would go. She supposed he would be waiting by the well, ready to whisk her away. But… where would they go? It didn't matter, as long as they were together.

It didn't go unnoticed by Kagome how quickly she had switched from being in love with Inuyasha, to being obsessed with Sesshoumaru. She wondered if hormones had something to do with it, but she figured it had more to do with the fact that Sesshoumaru was not afraid of his feelings, or letting them be known.

When she had first met Inuyasha, it had taken quite some time to realize she loved him. Perhaps now that she knew what love was, what it felt like, and the pain of heartbreak, her heart could recognize love more easily. Maybe that was why she was able to love Sesshoumaru.

And now Kagome was running up the stairs, glad that all those years of running from demons gave her the stamina to run up the steep shrine steps. She was sad to leave her family, but she would be back again in only two days. Only two days with Sesshoumaru! It was enough to calm her some.

She greeted her mother, who returned the sentiment.

"Going back to the Sengoku Jidai?" her mother asked, although it almost sounded like a statement.

"Mmm," Kagome said, nodding.

"Ok. Be careful. And please don't rip that uniform too, dear," her mother said.

Kagome blushed. So, she figured it out? She could swear her mother had ESP. "I won't. Thanks, mama. Maybe I'll… Maybe I'll wear something else."

He mother raised an eyebrow at this, but said nothing as her daughter turned away.

Kagome climbed the steps to the second floor and made a bee-line for her room, although Souta's door opened as she walked past. He poked his head out. "Nee-chan?"

Sighing, Kagome spun. "What?"

"Um… Inuyasha didn't come. Not once," he informed her. "It's been, like, two weeks since he's been here."

Her heart twisted painfully. Inuyasha was the closest thing Souta had to an older brother – sometimes even a father.

"I'm sorry, Souta. But I was away for a while, and before that, I was in school…"

"I know. I just wish he would come by more often. Are you guys fighting?" he asked innocently.

Usually, this was something that would have Kagome furious, sending her brother sprawling across the floor. Never mind the fact that he was almost as tall as her now. But Kagome truly felt bad for this repercussion, and didn't know how to tell him. Whatever she would tell him, now was not the time.

"Souta, we're always fighting. He's like my big brother. But no, we're not fighting. We're just not… as dependant on each other as we used to be. He'll come to visit you, I promise. Even if I have to make him," she soothed, ruffling his hair and winking at the end, making him swat her away.

"Stop that," he said, a scowl on his face.

She laughed – if you couldn't pick on your younger sibling, who could you pick on? It had the intended effect, however, of making him leave. In an annoyed huff, he went back to his own room.

Now that she was alone, Kagome's thoughts came to her tall, handsome, caring Lord once again. Her mother specifically asker her not to tear her uniform, so she had an excuse to wear something a little… different. Rummaging through her things, Kagome found a few outfits that would switch it up for her. She packed the things she was bringing, and finished her homework.

When she finished, she felt as if she was forgetting something. But her mother was calling her for dinner, so she wasn't able to explore the thought. With a shrug, she closed her door and ran down the stairs.

The Higurashi family ate dinner, laughing together and telling one another stories of things that had happened during the day. For the first time in a long time, Kagome felt thrilled to get back to the Feudal Era. When had it become a chore? Hadn't she kept the jewel for fear of being trapped out of it? Or maybe it was the fear of being trapped in it…

After Kagome had finished helping her mother wash and put away the dishes, she told her family she was leaving. The males – her brother and grandfather – knew this to be an occurrence, and therefore barely gave her a nod of farewell. But her mother, as always, fussed over her and made sure she had the right supplies. When she was satisfied, she gave her daughter a firm hug and went to her own room, leaving Kagome alone in the kitchen to take what she needed.

Kagome found the few things she wanted to take back – a few fizzy drinks for Miroku, candy for Shippou, chocolate for Sango, and of course, ramen for Inuyasha. But what about Sesshoumaru? Should she bring him something? Was she supposed to bring him something? Yes… He had asked for something. He had requested… Books! She remembered now! She had been telling him all about her modern life, and he had been interested in her level of schooling. Instead of the usual modern things she brought her friends, Sesshoumaru had asked for literature.

Of course Miroku and Sango, and sometimes even Shippou, would glance over her shoulder or even ask to read one of her books occasionally. But Inuyasha, the one that she had felt the closest bond with, had never shown interest. In fact, what did he see in her at all? For whatever reason, Kagome found herself getting angry.

Why in the hell did Inuyasha love her? And if he loved her so damn much, why didn't he claim her? Of course, he'd promised things, and laid claim to her plenty of times over the years in numerous, odd and sometimes doubtful ways. But the final step… He hadn't even kissed her! She had thought for sure, after Naraku was gone, he would ask her to marry him. She was young, yes. But it was common to get married at an early age in the Feudal Era, and she had been desperately in love with him.

And what did she have to show for standing by his side for three years? Nothing. For months, she was plagued by his frequent visits with Kikyou. And then when she died, she had to be supportive. Then, when she thought that nothing could stand in the way of their relationship, even Naraku, there was nothing. Many months of nothing. Just day in and day out of a double life.

So now, Kagome collected a few books from her meager book shelves. One on history, one on anatomy, one on psychology. That would keep him busy. However, she needed the anatomy one for school, so she kept it in mind to make him read it first. She smirked, thinking of his reaction when she told him what to do. Pushing away her thoughts, she packed them in a bag and began to get ready. For the first time since Naraku was vanquished, Kagome was going to dress up for the Feudal Era. But not before she took one last modern-day shower.

She had tried to get Inuyasha's attention two years ago, when they had finally defeated their enemy. After that final long battle, she had come home for a few days – a bath was the first modern activity she enjoyed. When she finally went back to the past, she had pinned her hair up, wore a pretty sundress, and applied a little makeup and perfume.

When she climbed out of the well, Inuyasha was waiting for her. But when he caught sight and smell of her, he uncouthly told her she smelled bad and she didn't look natural – she looked like an emperor's concubine, he had said. Kagome had been so upset, she went straight back to her own time and spent a week there. He had come for her several times; a few times, he had tried to watch her, unnoticed. But she always knew when he was there, and on the occasions that he showed himself, she had refused to talk to him, even to 'sit' him. Finally, he left her alone, and she returned a day later.

Of course, she told Kaede and Sango, who in turn, told Miroku. Shippou knew nothing, but whenever something was amiss, he knew the hanyou to be the reason behind it. And so her summer was spent ignoring him, for the most part. Her friends' wedding meant she had to spend the whole day with him, but other than that, she spent the majority of her months off avoiding the half-demon.

Once her second year of high school started, she spent her weekdays at home, and visited with her friends on the weekends. She silently decided to forget the incident – the hanyou tried to talk to her about it, but she made it clear with a glare and a cold shoulder that she didn't want to speak about it – and everything went on as usual. Now, when she thought about it, Kagome realized it was partially her fault.

Inuyasha is a dog demon – how could she wear all that perfume and not expect him to gag at the smell of her? And she knew Inuyasha was a simple man; to wear makeup was like trying to attract a fly with vinegar. He didn't care what she wore, either. As long as it wasn't traditional miko garb…

After basking in the spray of hot water and lathering with a luxurious shower gel, Kagome quickly washed her hair and got out. She didn't want to put too much effort into dressing – look where it got her last time! – but finally decided on a pair of jeans and a pink turtleneck; it was autumn, and it could get quite chilly in the Feudal Era. Shuffling her hair into a simple ponytail, Kagome grabbed her pack and raced downstairs. Everyone else had retired to their rooms, so she simply put her shoes on, ran to the well house, and jumped in. She was surprised Inuyasha hadn't come for her, and she was sure he would be waiting.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Kagome felt her feet touch ground once again, she looked up into the young night air. The stars were bright, and she could hear the sounds of the forest – several crickets; a few birds, late getting back to their nests; the wind through the trees – and knew she was in the past.

She heaved herself up as she had done hundreds of times before; climbing, hoisting, pulling. Before long, she was throwing a leg over the rim and pushing her pack to the forest floor. She hadn't anticipated how much harder it would be, climbing up the well with jeans on. They restricted her movement. That's why I wear skirts and dresses, Kagome reassured herself, scowling into the cool night air. She was, however, glad she had worn the warmer garments…

Kagome dusted herself off and picked up her pack, grumbling about extra weight in the form of unnecessary textbooks. When she swung herself around to head up the foot-worn path to the village, she saw a vision that stopped her in her tracks:

"Sesshoumaru," she whispered. It was barely audible, but he had heard it, by the widening and shine in his eyes. Did he have any idea how much she missed him?

Sesshoumaru had taken the long way around the village to avoid being detected by his brother or Kagome's friends. He wanted to make sure he was the first person she saw. And… he wanted to see her very badly. He had arrived just past noon – Kagome had told him she would arrive in late afternoon or evening. So he had waited. And waited. And waited.

When he felt… _something_, it snapped him out of his thoughts of the most recent dream he had had. He was trying to relive the moment when his past self had vowed revenge on his younger brother simply for making him fear him for a moment. But the feel of magic in the air led his gaze to the well. From his branch high up in a maple tree, Sesshoumaru felt her aura.

His pulse quickened, his heart raced, and he felt himself float to the ground to meet her. He could hear her grunting and straining as she pulled herself up from the bottom. He wished to run to her, to jump down, hoist her onto his shoulder, and bring her up. But he couldn't move any further than where he was – at the base of the maple tree he had been sitting in. He watched as she brushed herself off and retrieved her satchel. He was surprised at her clothing: never mind that they were still from her era, but she was barely showing skin! In fact, even her neck was covered! He absently wondered if it had to do with his calling her attire 'indecent'. He would ask her. But first…

And then, she turned. Her eyes went wide as she saw him standing there, a look of disbelief on her features. She didn't seem happy to see him; she didn't look mad, either. And then, a soft sound escaped her lips, and Sesshoumaru strained to hear his name float on the wind towards him.

"Sesshoumaru."

In an instant, he was in front of her and lifting her into a crushing hug. For once, she didn't mind. It only lasted a moment, but he loosened his grip, and then he pulled back to look into her eyes. Her large blue orbs shined like little pools – was it his imagination, or were they more liquid than normal? – as they gazed into his. Because it was dark, yet there was moonlight, Sesshoumaru's normally golden irises were a copper color, and Kagome was mesmerized.

Still unsure of her reaction, Sesshoumaru held back. So far, there was no bad reaction. But there hadn't been a good one, either. Was she in shock? Perhaps she thought she was dreaming? Perhaps she thought their time together was a dream?

And then Kagome reached up with both hands, grasped Sesshoumaru's face, and kissed him. If he had ever been doubtful of her feelings, those doubts fled with the meeting of plump, pink lips against hard, desperate ones. They sought each other's tongues, exploring the others' mouth as if that alone would convey their feelings. But it wasn't enough for Sesshoumaru. Carefully, he pushed away, placing his hands on her shoulders.

Her eyes held question, and he longed to tell her how much he had longed for her, wanted her, _needed_ her. But she interrupted when he opened his mouth to speak.

"Kami, Sesshoumaru… I missed you so much…" A single tear rolled down her cheek.

He stared, gaping like a fish out of water.

She smiled an embarrassed smile and wiped at her face. "I mean, I know it's only been a few days… It's silly. But…" She was silenced when he harshly grabbed her arm and turned her to face him.

"Never," he growled, "call this silly." He brushed a few stray strands from her face, and she smiled up at him. "You have no idea, miko, how much this Sesshoumaru has missed you…"

Kagome looked up at him in alarm, but he didn't seem to notice. This Sesshoumaru? Was he becoming his old self? Was he already his old self? Did he regain his memories? In the time they had spent together, his speech was rougher, and he had dropped the third-person way of speaking of himself. But, just now…

He seemed captivated, playing with her hair as the moonlight turned it shades of blue and purple. He hadn't taken notice of the change in speech. Was it really something she should be worried over? He looked like himself – well, the himself she had left behind, not the old himself. Mentally shrugging her shoulders in defeat, Kagome decided to drop it until something else came up.

Sesshoumaru came out of the trance he had been in and noticed the slightest trace of worry leaving Kagome's beautiful face. He was going to ask her, but she interrupted.

"Thank you," she said, beaming at him.

He was surprised, but smiled wholeheartedly. "Whatever for?"

"For coming here to see me. And… being you."

This struck Sesshoumaru rather hard. For being him? It was then that he realized: the Sesshoumaru that Kagome loved was not the same Sesshoumaru she knew. How could she thank him for being him when he clearly wasn't himself? Or was he? And was Kagome constantly in fear of his former self? His memories clearly told him that she had been afraid of him, even hateful at times. But now, she clung tightly to his form and looked deep into his eyes… Was she always wondering if the Old Sesshoumaru was going to come back and harm her? He balked at the idea. Still…

Confused and hurt, Sesshoumaru pulled away. With extreme bewilderment and suspicion in her eyes, Kagome stepped towards him.

"Sesshoumaru?" she asked, an eyebrow raised in her perplexing state.

He took a few more steps backwards. Sesshoumaru couldn't bear the thought of harming the one person he cared most about. In all honesty, he didn't think he was capable of hurting her. But he couldn't take the chance. If she was worried, then it could happen. If he had to hurt himself by being apart from her, he would do it.

Tears began to fall from Kagome's eyes, and Sesshoumaru began to turn away. She tried to grasp for him, but there was nothing to hold on to, since she still had his kimono in her bag. She attained purchase of his hakama by luck and held fast. He turned on her, anger radiating from his features. If there was anything learned from his dreams, it was how to be an evil, malevolent force.

"Let go," he seethed, attempting to get away from the one person he wished to protect.

Kagome was too upset to be angry. "Why? What did I do wrong? I'm sorry…" she sobbed, dropping to her knees but holding fast.

She chanced a look at his face, and she saw the look – remorse – before he attempted his old façade. But it was not the same – this Sesshoumaru could not completely hide his feelings behind a glacier of uncaring as the old Sesshoumaru could. Even the Sesshoumaru from two years ago – the one that saved her inside Naraku – had started to melt the icy demeanor. Never again would Sesshoumaru be able to mask his feelings as when he was filled with hate, anger, and resentment.

That one look gave Kagome the information she needed: he was acting out for another reason. Were they being watched? Was Inuyasha around?

"Sesshoumaru… talk to me. What's going on?"

He wasn't going to tell her. There was no way he would.

Now, she was getting angry. Her powers flared, begging to be used. She allowed a little of her purification to flow into her fingers. He felt the tingling sensation as her pure light crept closer to him.

Was she serious? Harm to his person did not frighten him… He became more determined. He would leave, and not return until he was sure his old self would not surface to harm her. He began to turn…

And then he felt the searing pain from Kagome's power on his arm. He roared as his flesh burnt, but his attempt to remove her hand only resulted in another burned limb.

When she felt it was enough, Kagome pulled her power back into her and waited for a reaction. The old Sesshoumaru would have sliced her head off neatly, or plunged a hand into her chest, removing her heart. Perhaps even turned into his dog form and simply eaten her whole.

Gasping from lack of oxygen and shock, Sesshoumaru glanced down at the little miko. She was… grinning! Was this a game? Was she trying to make him hurt her? What was she trying to prove? With a growl, Sesshoumaru turned away, ready to leap away.

Kagome was sure now. He was trying to save her… from himself. He truly did love her, but he was afraid of his former self. What had brought this on? He was so confident a few days ago… Can't leave him alone for five days… Kagome thought, rolling her eyes.

As he turned, she grabbed him again. He whirled to remove her but she anticipated his move and grabbed his chest. It was enough to startle him long enough to do what she intended. She smiled up at him, effectively distracting him. As he tried to ponder her motive, Kagome closed her eyes and concentrated and _released_…

Suddenly, Sesshoumaru found himself warm and pain-free. He watched as his raw, blistered, bloody flesh repaired before his very eyes. What he wasn't watching was Kagome, who put her entire being into healing him. When there was no more to heal, Kagome dropped.

Sesshoumaru quickly caught her. His heart raced as he fretted over her condition. She wasn't unconscious, but she was similar to delirious… She mumbled to herself and was hot to touch. He placed her on the cool grass, and collapsed over her.

"Kagome… Kagome… please. Talk to me…"

She opened her eyes and tried to focus. "Why… wouldn't you… talk to me?"

He looked up. "I'm sorry, Kagome. I was just…" He paused, unable to continue. What was he thinking? Why should he fear his former self? Even if he regained his memories, would it make him ruthless once again? No… he would remember the old times, and the new times. And he would make a new life out of them both.

"Sesshoumaru, the only way to save me… is by being with me. Because… I'd die without you…"

And then her mind gave out, and she was pulled into darkness as Sesshoumaru guarded her.


	6. VI

Thanks for reading!

_dA_: Cali2007, no1sangel, hayakchi, zodiac1805, pookiewookie1234, & inusessy.

_FanFiction_: OneRogueAngel, flirtymiyu, maire 53, darknessofmyheart, HeyLeslie, & UtterChaos247

_PaperDemon/The Red Curtain_: ladybattousai and Jns3372.

Replies: 

_MediaMiner:_

**buzzk97**– Thanks so much! I'm uber-happy that you're enjoying this. I love you guys that read both my stories. Well, it was more of a declaration than anything. She meant that without him in her life, she would be miserable. We're really close to Sesshoumaru getting his full memories back. Maybe next chapter or the one after, I haven't decided… Thanks so much for reading! See you next chapter!

**HeartStar **– Your wish is my command, lol. Seriously, I try to update sooner, but it's impossible. I have too many stories I'm working on, and I just have too much going on in real life.

_A Single Spark_:

**DivaG** – Man, you really hit the nail on the head! Not only are you correct about Kagome feeling insecure, thus she easily fell for Sesshoumaru's attention, but also, about his slowly becoming his old self! I'm glad you're enjoying this temporary Sesshoumaru. I'm almost sorry to revert him, but it's necessary. But that won't take place until either chapter 7 or 8. I'm glad you're enjoying!

**Roberta** – Ah, I'm so happy that you enjoy this! It flatters me that you find very little mistakes – I pride myself on it. So when a well-educated person tells me that my story is not only good, but so is the format, I'm a very happy person and float around the house. It's actually everyone's reviews that keep me writing, and the better reviews I get, the more inspired I am to write. I am going to answer your other question in an e-mail, since you are the 1st person to ask me, and it's complicated. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

**A/N**: Wow! Your responses to this story are amazing, people! Thanks to your word of mouth, I'm getting more and more reviews, faves, subscriptions, etc.! You guys are amazing, and it's a pleasure to write for you. I always say reviews are love, and you guys have really been showing me some love. Thanks so much, all of you.

Don't forget – () will mark the beginning of a dream or flashback, depending on the situation.

"_One more night, one more night…  
I've been trying for so long, to let you know…  
Let you know just how I feel.  
And if I stumble, if I fall, just help me back;  
So I can make you see_…" -One More Night, Phil Collins

Chapter VI

When Kagome came to, Sesshoumaru was gone. She was alone, and she could tell it was quite late. The crushing weight of knowing he had left her there almost knocked all the air out of her lungs. Before she knew it, a tear was rolling slowly down her cheek. She wasn't cold, surprisingly. But the wetness on her face made it clear that it was rather cool out. 

And she was alone.

Alone.

Kagome tried to hold back the rest of the tears that threatened to fall at the realization, but to no avail; with a blink, two little rivers made trails down her face. A sniffle made its way to her nose, and then a sob. Another sob quickly followed, and then a series of them, with another sniffle at the end. And then, Kagome was wailing, her face in the thick grass as she bawled. 

Her head hurt from the exertion earlier, and now the crying was giving her a tension headache. Which, in turn, hurt, making her wail all the louder. But Kagome wasn't the naïve, helpless girl she was a few years ago. She felt youki, and it wasn't Sesshoumaru. A crunch of autumn leaves told her that whomever it was, was just a few paces away. Not trying to calm herself, Kagome gripped her bow that had been at her side, and felt for her quiver.

In milliseconds, Kagome was up on her feet, an arrow readied and drawn back. But she dropped them both, discharging her powers from the objects. More tears and a more hysterical sob escaped her as she threw her arms around her friend.

"Inuyasha!" she wailed.

Inuyasha wondered why the girl was crying, but she wasn't in the condition to speak.

"C'mon," he said quietly, picking up her things, but never letting go of the girl in his arms. 

She complied, and they made their way back to Kaede's.

From some distance, Sesshoumaru watched, cautious of the way the wind was blowing. He had held Kagome, waiting for her to wake from her exhausted sleep. But she didn't awaken until he dropped her; he had sensed his brother coming, and how would he explain being here with Kagome? He knew that she was having a hard enough time as it was – exposing themselves as… well, whatever they were, would only complicate things further.

Keeping downwind, Sesshoumaru diligently followed Inuyasha, keeping a close eye on the hanyou's hands. His brother had spent a lot of time in the influence of the monk, and he had heard many-a-tale from Kagome.

But the worst part was not being able to comfort Kagome. His heart wept with grief, hearing her sobs and smelling her tears. He had to literally fight himself in order to not leap through the trees, wretch his brothers' hands off the woman, and wrap his own arms around her. He longed to hold her, soothe her, kiss her. But for her own sake, he would have to stay hidden until she deemed it acceptable. He wished with his very soul that he could explain the situation to her; no doubt Kagome was thinking he was angry and had left her. Unfortunately, he would have to wait until she was not in the company of the hanyou.

The warm glow of the fire painted little trails up the bamboo walls of the hut as Kaede handed the younger miko a cup of tea. Sango was rubbing little soothing circles on her back. Miroku sat silently, absorbing every bit of information he could. Shippou – pleased that Kagome was finally back – lay asleep on Kagome's futon.

Suspicious, Inuyasha sat in a corner, watching his friend. He had tried not to think about the reason why Kagome might smell like his brother. But he just couldn't come up with a good reason why. The most disconcerting thing was that he also smelled burnt flesh on her, as well as her purification powers. Maybe… maybe Sesshoumaru had attacked her, and she tried to purify him? Yes, that must be it. He would ask her. Tomorrow. She was obviously distressed – _she must have missed me a lot_, he thought.

Kagome had finally stopped crying, but the pain had not subsided. She was numb – she couldn't feel anything, and she didn't want to. Why had he abandoned her? She had thought she had finally gotten through to him, finally proved that she wasn't in danger in his presence. Apparently, he must have taken off when she lost consciousness. Unfortunately, she didn't even have the strength to be angry. Her deadened limbs wouldn't respond to her thoughts… she couldn't speak, either. This was what worried her friends the most. Kagome was the least likely to be silent, so when something happened where the miko was silent, everyone took notice. Even little Kirara put a paw on her knee and mewed.

But Kagome was unresponsive. Almost catatonic. She vaguely remembered the pain and shock of seeing Kikyou kiss Inuyasha, and how he willingly tried to go to hell with her; this was much worse. This was a brazen dejection, and she wasn't taking it lightly, especially after what they had shared. Did this mean he was turning back to his old, icy self? No, she wouldn't believe it. There were so many reasons to hate him, but…

_I love him_, she realized.

Her eyes widened with the discovery. She gave the tiniest gasp, and it was so quiet, only Inuyasha and Kirara heard it. Instantly, the hanyou was by her side.

"Kagome? Kagome, are you ok?" he asked her, a hand on her shoulder.

_I love him, and that means giving him another chance_, she told herself. It was both so ridiculous and yet so true, she giggled. Inuyasha begin to get worried. His ears flattened in a display of concern. He shook her shoulder.

_I love him, and I still want to see him. Maybe… Maybe it's not what I think. Maybe I should give him the chance to explain_… Inuyasha shouted so loudly, Shippou woke with a start, rubbing his eyes.

"KAGOME!"

"Inuyasha, why are you yelling?" the kitsune mumbled.

Kagome finally looked at her friend, only to realize they were all looking at her quite strangely, except for Shippou, who only had eyes for Inuyasha's groin, which he intended on harming for waking him. Kagome was still smiling, unknowingly, and her friends were now alarmed. Thinking she was possessed or poisoned, they sprung into action:

"Miroku! Get the antidote in my bag," Sango shouted as she grabbed Kagome by the shoulders, effectively securing her.

The monk retrieved the small container with a liquid, returning to his wifes' side. 

"W-wait, what are you doing?" Kagome said, slightly panicked.

"Kagome, can you hear me? You gotta fight it…" Inuyasha asked, afraid that someone was controlling her.

"W-wha? Of course I can hear you! I'm answering you, aren't I?" she cried, furious. "Sango, get off of me!" She attempted to throw her friend off and get away, but the older, lithe taijiya was stronger, and kept her in place easily. 

Kaede, who had just come back from fetching more water and had been informed, was chanting a spell in the corner of her home. Miroku was the only one who hesitated. He looked hastily at his wife, then at the frightened, bewildered miko.

"Sango, perhaps we should rethink…"

"Miroku, that's what we always used to do! And by the time we would figure it out, someone would be hurt," she explained, attempting to get Kagome in a position where they could empty the liquid into her mouth. 

Of course, Kagome wasn't completely helpless, and struggled enough that Sango could not do it by herself. "Inuyasha, you're going to have to hold her down," she instructed.

"Don't you dare, Inuyasha! I'm fine! It's you guys that are crazy," Kagome yelled.

Inuyasha was afraid of the choice, but he had seen Kagome put in danger so many times, and the last time, he had thought he had lost her for sure. So he leapt quickly, knocking Kagome down and straddling her, pinning her arms down by her wrists.

"Inuyasha! Get off of me!" Kagome cried, embarrassed by the situation she was in. Only one man – er, youkai - was allowed to place her in such a position! She struggled with all her might, but it was no use against hanyou strength.

Sango was moving above her, pulling the cork out of the container, tilting…

Kagome felt powerless. She didn't want to use her powers against her friend, but it was all she could do. She felt her powers flare, and saw Inuyasha's eyes widen with the realization…

And then something unexpected happened. In a flurry of movement, Kagome no longer felt Inuyasha's weight above her. And Sango was not there anymore, either. Then she heard a crash, and turned to look. Inuyasha was slammed into the far wall, and Sango had been knocked a few feet back. She barely had time to wonder what was happening when she was suddenly weightless.

The next thing she knew, Kagome felt the familiar warmth of Sesshoumaru's skin, and the slow hum of his youki. She was watching the hut she shared with her friends grow smaller as Sesshoumaru took her further away.

"You shouldn't have done that," she said, not crossly.

He sniffed, unconvinced. "You wish to drink something that would put you to sleep?"

Kagome gasped. "Wha- No, Sango wouldn't-"

"Not to harm you," he explained, "but she felt she had no other choice, I assume."

Kagome grew very sad. "I don't understand. Why did they all…" She was on the verge of tears when a thought tugged at her. Sesshoumaru heard her sharp intake of breath. "Inuyasha! He'll come after me, Sesshoumaru. You have to let me go back and explain! He probably thinks you're going to kill me!"

"Nonsense," was all he said.

"To us, yes. But Inuyasha has no idea what happened, and no one knows that we…" She blushed, unable to finish her sentence. 

Her modesty was charming, and Sesshoumaru smiled. "I care not for whatever the hanyou thinks. I only wished to keep you from harm."

Kagome smiled and attempted a hug from her awkward position in his arms. "Thank you. I didn't think I'd ever see you again," she said, a little bashful.

"Again, nonsense."

She looked up at him, and he looked so steeled she believed him instantly. But…

"Then why did you leave me?"

He almost skidded to a stop; it was probably the least graceful thing she had ever seen him do. He placed her on the ground so that she could look into his eyes, and she found them brimming with emotion. The golden pools, like the hottest part of lava, burned into her mind. He had stopped in a tiny clearing, perhaps only twenty feet across, and just as tall. Here, wildflowers were able to grow – purple, yellow, blue, pink – for the lack of the smothering trees. As she looked down at her shoes, she felt bad for stopping here, crushing the vivid colors.

"I held you until Inuyasha was almost upon us. When I put you down, the cold must have woken you. I did not want to go, but I assumed you would have preferred him not to know," he said, looking away at the last part.

She laughed a short, sharp laugh. "And what about now? Like he's not going to know now?"

"Tell him I kidnapped you," he said.

Kagome shook her head. "No, it's time I tell the truth. I should tell them how much I love you," she said, her gaze travelling to her feet.

Sesshoumaru's eyes widened in surprise. Had he heard right? The woman he yearned for… loved him? A ruthless, killing, cold monster? Quickly, images from his dreams flashed through his mind, reminding him of the creature he used to be. But he shook his head, clearing it. He would not spoil such a moment with such thoughts.

He grasped her and pulled her to his chest, enveloping her in his arms. She sighed happily, believing she had never felt so safe before. But they were interrupted by the sound of trees crashing to the floor, coming straight towards them – Inuyasha. Kagome could feel Sesshoumaru's grip tighten as they listened.

Suddenly, Sesshoumaru pulled away and stepped in front of her; Inuyasha crashed into the little clearing, effectively knocking down more trees.

"You bastard!" Inuyasha cried, Tessaiga in hand, "Where's Kagome? Why did you take her? Was it to get me out in the open? You think it's finally time to kill me or somethin'? Well I got news for you… I'm not goin' down without a fight, and takin' Kagome only pissed me the fuck off!" He got into a fighting stance, mildly curious to why his brother was not drawing Bakusaiga, but also not really caring.

Sesshoumaru repressed the urge to roll his eyes. "I told you. I don't want to fight you, Inuyasha, or kill you," he said, barely hiding his impatience.

Kagome almost gasped, hearing how with his anger, his speech pattern had changed. It was like… he was more like Inuyasha when he was upset.

"Keh. Whatever. Your lies don't work on me, Sesshoumaru. Now where is Kagome, and why did you take her if you're not trying to get to me?" he asked, the winds of the Kaze no Kizu swirling around his blade.

Kagome sighed. She really didn't blame him. Inuyasha was simply done what he has done for the past three years – protect her. How many times had she been kidnapped? How many times had she been kidnapped in order to get to Inuyasha? How many times had the villain been Naraku? Of course, he had every right to believe that Sesshoumaru's intentions were evil. And he would never believe his brothers' words, therefore, it was time to intervene.

She cleared her throat as she peeked out from behind the youkai. "I'm right here, Inuyasha," she said. She watched sadly as the hanyou's eyes widened in surprise, then narrowed suspiciously, and finally looked at her with both longing and question.

"Kagome…" It sounded more like a question than an order, "get away from him and come to me."

Kagome felt like crying, but she knew it would confuse him more. "No," was all she said.

He looked at her with an expression of total shock; then it turned to anger. "What did you do to her, Sesshoumaru? She's not herself."

Sesshoumaru had sensed that Kagome wanted to take care of this herself – either way, there was nothing he could do to convince his brother, and if they fought, he could not guarantee that he would not harm the hanyou. And if he wounded Inuyasha, Kagome would be upset. So he would leave this to her. He was only here to protect her from any rash ideas his brother might have.

Inuyasha was fueled by his brothers' silence. "I said… What the fuck did you do-" He was interrupted by her sigh.

"Inuyasha, he didn't do anything to me. He was saving me," she said quietly.

Inuyasha seemed confused, and he voiced it. "Saving you from what?"

"From you," she said, her voice so small, it sounded like a mouse had whispered it. But both males heard it, and Sesshoumaru closed his eyes, awaiting the reaction. Now, the tears that had threatened to fall, did. She hadn't wanted to hurt him like this… this what not how she imagined… not how she wanted to explain… she wanted to hold him… wanted Sesshoumaru to hold her…

The look on Inuyasha's face was that of horror – more at her insinuation, because he had not grasped the full meaning yet. Inuyasha's mind allowed him to solve only one problem at a time. "From… Me?" He pointed at himself dumbly, not believing her words.

"Inuyasha," she began, reaching for him. But Sesshoumaru growled a warning. She knew what he meant; Inuyasha was unpredictable and unstable at a time like this.

Inuyasha watched the interaction. She… was listening to him? She was going to let him tell her what to do? No, that wasn't right! She had to come home… with him!

From beside Sesshoumaru, Kagome tried to explain, her heart wrenched in two. "Inuyasha, it wasn't right… what you were trying to do to me. There's nothing wrong with me. I just… I…" She didn't know how he was going to react, and she was afraid of what he might do. 

Then, as her muddled mind tried to sort the words, she felt a light brush of Sesshoumaru's hand against her own. She steeled herself, finding comfort in the fact that the person she loved was beside her, and wouldn't let any harm come to her. The person she loved…

Kagome found Sesshoumaru's fingers and squeezed, and somehow, she found strength. "I love Sesshoumaru," she half-blurted.

She watched as Inuyasha's eyes widened so much she thought they would pop out of his head. 

"You… WHAT?!" he cried disbelievingly. He began to take a step towards her.

Sesshoumaru stepped in front of Kagome, but did not take any action otherwise.

Seeing the defensive behavior and knowing it was his right to protect her, not his brother's, Inuyasha roared as he lunged at the powerful youkai, Tessaiga raised and no longer swirling with wind, but black, threatening to swallow them whole.

Sesshoumaru didn't know why, but he realized this was dangerous. He turned quickly, gathered Kagome into his arms, and leapt…

Inuyasha wasn't surprised and anticipated his moves, attempting to grab Kagome, who was stunned by the recent events. Sesshoumaru growled, a warning to his brother to leave them be. But Inuyasha was blinded by his fury – had he lost her forever? To his brother? 

Kagome's head was reeling – had she really just confessed her love to Inuyasha? About his own brother? She wanted to crawl in a hole and die! _Did you see the look on his face?_ her subconscious asked. _He was so hurt… And now he's furious. Imagine what he'll feel like when he actually sits down and thinks about i_t… Tears began to fall again, and Kagome sniffled. But first, this had to stop. Kagome took a deep breath.

Inuyasha jumped towards them again, and Sesshoumaru placed a hand on Bakusaiga's hilt. Kagome felt him do so, and…

"Inuyasha…"

She saw his ears turn from flat on his head towards her, and his eyes widen, knowing what was coming.

"Osuwari!"

With a grunt, the hanyou hit the ground face-first, and Tessaiga transformed to its' resting state. Sesshoumaru marveled at this, wondering what sort of power his miko had on his brother.

"Kagome, how did you…"

"Not now, Sesshoumaru. Can we get back to the village? I need my things; when you grabbed me, I didn't have my pack on me," she asked.

He nodded, bounding away effortlessly, while the spell held Inuyasha to the ground for a few more seconds. He wanted to get the pack and get out of there before Inuyasha found them, so he ran quickly, arriving in just a few minutes. Kagome could tell there was still much going on, and she asked for privacy. He told her he would wait nearby, so that if she needed him, he would be there. She felt the chill of the night – it was late, and was growing colder every minute.

Walking into the hut nervously, she caught the eyes of her sensei first – Kaede looked at her dubiously, but seeing no malice, smiled warmly.

"Ah, child, you have returned!"

Hearing her, Sango and Miroku turned to face her as well.

"Kagome-sama!" Miroku said, rushing forward. A low growl from outside stopped him in his tracks. He glanced to the doorway, but saw no hanyou, and no youkai. Looking back to his friend, she explained.

"Sesshoumaru is staying outside, so I may talk to you," she said calmly. "I came for my backpack, and I wanted to-"

Unable to keep it hidden any longer, Sango burst into tears. "Kagome!" she cried, embracing her friend. They held each other briefly, and Kagome reluctantly pulled away.

Miroku faced the door again. "What, you don't approve of me hugging her but it is fine for Sango?" He heard a deep chuckle in response. "Sesshoumaru? He is the one that… brought you here? Where is Inuyasha?" He directed this to Kagome, who turned to face him.

"There's no time to explain," Kagome said, pushing away from Sango and retrieving her backpack from its' place on the floor. "But I need you to listen to me carefully," she told them sadly. "I'm fine. I'm not hurt, and I'm not crazy. I love Sesshoumaru. I tried to tell Inuyasha-" she heard Sango gasp "-but he wouldn't listen. He thinks I'm under some sort of spell. He went ballistic, and…" She exhaled, not knowing if she could finish. "I just… I'm sorry." 

Exasperated, Kagome wanted nothing more than to just hold her friends, or be held – which, she wasn't sure. What she did know, was that she didn't have time. Turning back to the door, she heard a sob from her friend, the demonslayer, as she walked through.

Outside, she was quickly swept up by her youkai, and he spun her around in an arc as they embraced, her sobs muffled by his mass of hair. He held her tight, caressing the back of her head and burying his own face in the crook of her neck. He stopped, holding her still but less tightly. Whispering, her told her it was time to go. She nodded weakly, and he took her into his arms and leapt into the woods to the west, making his way back to Rin and Jaken as the heavens began to rumble and roll with the threat of a thunderstorm.

Deep in the northern part of the forest, a hanyou sat in the dirt, surrounded by his own outline. Weeping into his hands, he heard the echo of her words over and over again. 'I love Sesshoumaru… I love Sesshoumaru… I love Sesshoumaru…'

With a half-growl, half-sob, Inuyasha picked himself up. He could feel the anger grow within him as the lightning flashed through the sky, its' mate, thunder, close behind, voicing their arrival. He looked to the south, towards the village he took residence in. Then he looked to the west – his brother's lands. There was no doubt Sesshoumaru would be taking her to their ancestral lands. But before he could follow, he would have to go back home, to gather his friends and allies…

They travelled for hours, Sesshoumaru leaping through the treetops, attempting to outrun the storm. Kagome was exhausted and miserable – she needed to rest, and if she got soaked, she would be even more despondent. He ran tirelessly, scenting the winds for hints as to when the clouds would open and deliver their sorrow upon the earth. And by the smell of things, that moment was going to be upon them soon – most likely before they would be in the company of the rest of his group. The cold in itself was enough to hide from.

The sound of deep, spaced breaths caught his attention, and Sesshoumaru realized Kagome was asleep. He was relieved; she had been so stressed, and he thought she would never regain her proper mind. He thought about how he had less than forty-eight hours with her: it was not enough. He wanted her by his side forever. But his miko was special; she could travel through time, and she was smart, brave, and beautiful. And her heart was so enormous, he thought she needed a larger body to carry it. Smiling as he looked down onto her, he made the final leap into the clearing where he had told his retainers to meet him.

Back in the area where he had spent so much time with the priestess, he looked towards the waterfall, knowing it would be the only shelter from the driving rain the winds promised. To his left, there was a small, crackling fire, and Rin and Jaken were both asleep around it. One of Ah-Un's heads was snoozing, the other grunted its' welcome, waking the other head. 

Jaken, who had been sleeping against the beast, woke slowly. He grumbled to the animal, complaining about waking him. But when the two-headed dragon would not let him go back to sleep, the imp came more into consciousness and became aware of his master's youki, looking around for him. It wasn't hard; the looming, white figure of Sesshoumaru stood nearby, scenting the wind.

"M-master!" he cried, jumping to his feet.

A stern look from the graceful youkai silenced him effectively, and he awaited instruction.

"Jaken," Sesshoumaru called.

The little youkai stood upright, saluting his master. Sesshoumaru resisted killing the creature.

"It is going to rain very soon. I leave Kagome in your care – I must get Rin to Shelter," he explained before setting Kagome down gently. She resisted, tangling her fingers in his hair and groaning softly. 

He smiled gently and removed her slender fingers from his person. She still attempted to grasp at him, but the lack of clothing on his upper half prevented her from clinging, and soon she was asleep on the soft grass. Jaken stood over her diligently, and Sesshoumaru picked up the younger girl. She sighed in his arms, and he hugged her quickly, ashamed that he had been neglecting her in his pining for the miko. Tomorrow, they would spend some time together, he decided.

In less than a minute, Sesshoumaru had Rin placed strategically near the small, warm pool in the cave under the waterfall. But he was worried; what if she were to roll into the water? No, Kagome had taught her to swim. She would be surprised, but the water was not deep. Unfortunately, this was the warmest place in the cave – even near the entrance, the biting cold of the evening could be felt. It was extremely dark, since the moon was covered by the moisture-rich clouds that were to empty any second…

Convinced, Sesshoumaru raced back to where he had left Kagome; even though she was near the fire, she was shivering. 

"Jaken. Enter the cave and start another fire. We shall all sleep there tonight," he ordered.

"Hai, milord," Jaken said with a low bow, scurrying off quickly, Ah-Un at his heels.

Sesshoumaru dumped some soil on the fire, dousing it just as the first raindrops fell to the earth. He saw Kagome move in her sleep, the cold, wet environment waking her slowly. He reached for her, but her eyes shot open. She shot up instantly, grasping herself and shivering. Despite being worried about her condition, Sesshoumaru chuckled. She looked up suddenly, as if just noticing his presence. 

"S-S-S-S-Sesshoumaru…" she tried between clenched teeth.

Acting quickly, he picked her up, wrapping his arms around her. She sighed slowly, as if the act of hugging her instantly relieved all maladies. But he knew better. He needed to get her to the warmth of the cave. She ran her fingers tantalizingly along his dampened skin, and he let loose a breath he hadn't known he was holding. When she arrived at his sides, his skin trembled and he pulled away.

"I-I'm sorry… I didn't mean to…" she began, becoming upset.

But when she looked at him, his head down and his bangs covering his eyes, he refused to look at her. She bent low and tilted her head, attempting to gauge how angry he was. But what she saw both confused and amused her. He was… smiling? No, it wasn't a complete smile. It was almost as if…

"Sesshoumaru?" she ventured. "Are you… ticklish?"

He looked up, glaring at her. "I am no such thing," he said, stalking her like prey.

For the first time since the accident, Kagome was afraid of him. She trembled underneath the weight of his predatory stare and backed up without knowing she had done so. The cold wind, blowing violently around them, drove rain into every surface, and Kagome was thoroughly frozen again, making her shiver even more. 

But Sesshoumaru had no plans to harm her – he reached out quickly, seizing her arm and pulling her close, knowing she was very cold. He felt her icy skin against his chest and buried his nose in her hair, inhaling her fresh scent.

"Please… don't do that again," he asked softly.

Kagome gasped. She pulled back, a smile playing on her lips. "You are ticklish, aren't you?" she asked. She gave him no room to respond, but experimented instead. She ran her fingertips along his ribs, from his hips upwards, and he jerked away, a tiny smile on his lips. She laughed gaily. He scowled.

"All right, all right, truce," she said, holding her hands up in a placating gesture.

He could not stay angry with her, so he took her in his arms once more and for the first time in a week, he captured her lips in a warm, inviting kiss. Kagome melted into him, her form molding against his as if they had been fitted for each other long ago. She moaned, her skin warming with each second of the lingering kiss. She felt his fangs lengthen, and she brushed her bottom lip against them. He hungered for her, and he devoured her taste as if they had been parted for years.

And then, the winds slowed to a crawl, stopping the rain as well. Had it not been so sudden, Sesshoumaru would not have been alarmed. But it was too quick, too unexpected. He looked around, instantly pulling Kagome behind him, troubling the woman. But there was nothing – no jyaki, no youki, no threat. He was vigilant, however. Kagome understood, and kept silent as she stood behind him, holding on to his sides. 

But as he scented the air for danger, he noticed the wind changing direction; there was no threat, the weather was simply changing. He relaxed, and Kagome walked around to face him.

"Everything ok?" she asked, shivering again.

"Hn," he sounded, looking up to the sky. "But the rain is not finished."

And as if on cue, the clouds opened up once again. The first few drops were large and heavy, but few and far between. But as the two lifted their faces to the sky, the drops came more quickly and purposefully. Within seconds, the fat raindrops were slamming to the earth, as if the gods were hurling them at the ground, attempting to flatten mountains and deepen gorges. 

"Ow," Kagome said, cowering into Sesshoumaru's frame. 

Sesshoumaru smirked before sweeping her into his arms and running to the cave. He laid her on her feet at the entrance, and they were both greeted by a blast of warmth. Kagome squealed in delight, kicking off her shoes and putting her pink bag on the ground where it landed with a soggy flop. She took off her socks, setting them on a rock near the fire to dry. 

Giggling happily, Kagome reached for her pack again, pulling out their soggy contents. Sesshoumaru watched her, content that she was warmer than before, and was no longer getting rained upon. The fire colored her hair a burnished amber, dancing like little sprites on her body. The flames licked every inch of her, and he felt the urge to take her once more; but there would be no time tonight – the cave had other occupants and the weather did not permit such frolicking. She made an unhappy noise, and it drew his attention. He looked on curiously. She pulled out several paper-made items; they contained paper, bound by more paper. These might be the 'books' she spoke of.

She groaned again as she pulled out the last of them, and put two of them near the fire, open. The others she laid out near the wall of the cave. Under the books, however, her spare clothes had remained dry, and she sighed, content. She pulled out a few articles of clothing, and walked to Sesshoumaru. She grasped his shoulder and pulled gently, making him bend towards her.

Her breath ghosted against his ear as she whispered to him. "Sesshoumaru, I need to change. But…"

He understood. He commanded Jaken not to look, and Ah-Un understood without being told, turning its' heads away and closing all four eyes. Kagome stood behind the youkai but still felt exposed with the cave entrance at her back. Quickly and quietly, Kagome ripped the jeans and sweater off and replaced them with pajama pants and a tank top. Once dressed, she slipped her bra off and stuffed everything into the little sack. 

Sesshoumaru instructed his retainer to go about his business, and he responded by settling against the dragon youkai and trying to fall asleep. Satisfied, the Taiyoukai turned back to his miko. She was staring up at him, a smirk playing across her lips and her hands behind her back. Intrigued, he approached her, but she stepped back for every step forward he took.

She giggled, and he swatted at her, attempting to catch her. She knew he was toying with her; he could easily have her in his arms, should he choose to do so. Finally, she stopped moving, and he did as well. 

"Turn around," she instructed. It was so soft and gentle a command, he didn't hesitate, he simply did as she said.

She walked up to him, slightly to his right. She slipped something on his arm, and he realized it was his kimono. All the way up to his shoulder, and then she went to his left side, repeating the movements. Then, she was before him. His eyes shone eerily in the dimness by the cave entrance. Kagome was facing the fire, so her eyes glittered with passion and excitement. He stilled himself, however, and allowed her to continue. She grasped the ends of both sides, closing the kimono and sealing away his skin; she had become so besotted with his flesh that she almost opened the folds again. 

Then she took his obi from around her neck – _where had that come from?_ he wondered lazily – and wrapped it around his waist, her breasts pressing tantalizingly against his stomach. He could feel her renewed heat through their combined clothing and wished he could remove them. She slowly tied the obi in a loose knot; he would fix it the way he preferred later. Finished, Kagome stepped around him to find a place to lay near the fire. She took a futon from her pack, laid it down, and began to lower herself.

But she never touched the futon. Instead, Sesshoumaru had gotten behind her and lifted her into his arms. She was surprised, but she felt safe, so she remained silent. She looked into his eyes, now full of fire, partially the fault of the bonfire, partially his own desire. He lowered himself onto the futon, and she was soon on his lap. But he did not keep her there; he adjusted himself, sat her down, then lay down himself, pulling her with him. They lay on their sides, facing and holding one another.

And in the arms of the person they cared for most in the world, each fell into a deep sleep, exhausted by the events of the day.

In the morning, Kagome woke to birds singing, water splashing, and… Sesshoumaru? She remembered now – they had laid down together. Oh, but the others! Suddenly self-conscious, Kagome scooted under the covers of the thick blanket she had brought with her. The dragon, the imp, and the girl were all missing; obviously they had seen her in 'bed' with their Lord.

Even more mortified, the woman attempted to bury herself within the folds of the blanket. Suddenly, she felt a tickling sensation that alarmed her – was it a spider? Oh, how she hated spiders. She turned quickly under the covers to find…

Sesshoumaru's golden eyes staring at her, a smirk across his lips. Kagome gasped – she hadn't expected to find him under the covers as well. He laughed openly at her; she took offense, scowling at him.

"Were you the one tickling me?" she asked angrily.

"Miko, why do you act embarrassed? Surely, Rin doesn't care that we are together, and Jaken-" He paused, thinking. "- if Jaken were foolish enough to question my desires, then that would be his own undoing," he smiled, tilting her chin up to kiss her.

But she pulled away. 

"Kagome, is something wrong?" he asked worriedly.

She hesitated, but explained. "I… No, nothing's wrong, per say. But… Well, every day – it seems – you become more and more like yourself…"

He interrupted. "And this bothers you. You wish for my 'old self' to not return?"

"No," she said sternly, cross with him for interrupting. "It's just that… I don't want you to forget me, Sesshoumaru. When your memory comes back, you may not want me anymore," she explained. It was stupid, she knew; but deep in the back of her mind, it nagged at her.

Sesshoumaru chuckled, as if he truly found this absurd. "Nonsense. It isn't possible for me to forget you. And even more impossible for me to stop loving you." 

Then he pulled her close and kissed her.

Her mind swam with desire and confusion, which didn't make for an ideal combination when one was just waking up. She was muddled, and didn't like feeling that way. After a few moments, she pulled away. Peeling the blanket off them both and relieved to not find anyone else in the cave, Kagome grinned slyly at him.

"Sesshoumaru, I need to bathe," she said coyly.

He perked up at this; a moment ago he was sulking with the loss of her.

Now, she scowled. "So get out."

He looked so adorably bewildered at the extreme mood change – something that deeply reminded her of her friends, since they were well accustomed to the mood swings – that she almost gave in. But she held her ground:

"Since I am healed, I no longer need you assistance," she said sweetly.

_A little too sweetly_, he thought. Grumbling, Sesshoumaru stood and left.

When he was gone, Kagome stretched, yawned noisily, and clapped her hands together.

"Yay! A bath!"

Within seconds, she was naked and wet, her bathing items on a rock at the pool's edge. She dunked, soaking her hair fully. She wiped the water and hair out of her eyes when she came to the surface gasping for air, and blinking, reached for her shampoo. But… it was gone! She looked around – she could have sworn she took it out along with her… Her soap was gone, too!

Scowling, Kagome turned ninety degrees to find the boulder that she used to climb out when she froze. Right in front of her stood Sesshoumaru. Slowly her eyes travelled up his body until her eyes rested on his smirking face. What was he so damn happy about?

"I believe you are looking for these?" he said, making it sound as if he didn't actually know these were the items he was talking about as he showed her his hand, complete with soap and shampoo.

"Oh, yes. Thank you…" she said, reaching for his hand and still confused about how she had forgotten them.

"Oh, so you do need me to give these to you?" he said, a snarky tone in his voice.

And then it hit Kagome. Not only was he teasing her, but he was responsible! He had taken the things while she had been underwater! Angry, Kagome opened her mouth to yell at him, but he simply turned to walk away.

"No, no! I'm sorry! Yes, I need those things and I need you to give them to me. Please…" It wouldn't be her first time bathing without them, but if she didn't need to…

Sesshoumaru stopped in his tracks, as if weighing his options 

Turning towards her, he walked to the edge of the warm pool. He bent and placed her cleansing necessities on the rock he had found them and turned away, going back to the futon. He laid down and covered himself once more.

Befuddled, Kagome watched him for several moments until she could hold it in no longer.

"Um… Sesshoumaru?"

"Hn?" A muffled baritone came from under the blanket.

"You…" Unable to find the words, Kagome simply watched his back, then sank into the water.

After a small simmering period, Sesshoumaru turned towards her. With a sigh, he spoke.

"Contrary to your belief, miko, I am not here simply to ogle your naked body, although that would be a bonus. I only wished to be with you, and assist you if you need such," he said before turning around once more and snuggling under the blanket.

Sheepish, Kagome was more concerned than when she had realized his retainers had seen them in the same bed. Here was a loving, caring man, who cherished her for her mind, body, and soul – and she treated him like a teenager trying to get laid. She silently berated herself and quickly washed; when she was dry and wrapped in her only towel, she kneeled on the futon next to her youkai.

"I'm sorry," she said.

He had uncovered himself when she had sat down, and he nodded now.

But she continued. "I shouldn't have treated you that way. I'm so sorry, Sesshoumaru. I love you…" 

He smelled the beginning of tears, and didn't want her to waste any of her time in this era crying, so he did the only sensible thing – 

Reaching between the folds of the towel, he grasped a breast, surprising the woman. She gasped, and he used his other hand to pull her down to his lips, where they met. She kissed him hungrily, and he played with her nipple, teasing it. And slowly, he pulled away. The tears were long gone, and he was thankful.

"You must dress," he told her, but it was not a command.

Still muzzy with the first tendrils of lust, Kagome nodded. She pulled herself up and walked to her backpack, where she pulled out a red skirt – she could feel from here that is was warmer than yesterday – and a white, long-sleeved blouse. On auto-pilot, she placed her limbs in and through, zipped zippers and buttoned buttons, and slipped her feet into socks. When she was fully dressed, Sesshoumaru stood by her side. 

Satisfied, he grasped her hand and led her outside. She was gratefully surprised that Rin had placed some breakfast items on a mat for her several yards from the entrance. Basking in the sun, Kagome ate greedily as Sesshoumaru sat in silence, listening to their environment. 

When she was satiated, Kagome stood, but was unable to decide what she wanted to do. When the demon asked her the very question she had been asking herself, however, she was struck by an idea. She skipped back into the cave and returned to him with a book on psychology. He looked at it askance, a little dubious as to the nature of a book that had a wildly-colored brain on the cover.

Kagome giggled. "It's not going to bite you. I got this one for you to read," she told him. But I need it back by next weekend – I'm not going to need it this week. So I hope you read fast." 

She smiled, and he took the book from her. He noticed a little piece of paper sticking out and fingered it, sending a questioning glance her way.

"Oh, right," she said, remembering the reason. "I marked that page because it's kinda about you."

He looked even more suspicious now, and she laughed again.

"Well, I was hoping you would read it yourself, in case you didn't believe me," she said shyly, then continued. "There's a whole chapter on amnesia – that's what you have. It's a… malady of the brain where you don't remember. There are all kinds – sometimes, you just don't remember people. Sometimes, you forget everything. But you…" She took a breath, then explained her theory. "You have something called 'Retrograde Amnesia', and I would say it's post-traumatic."

He looked at her as if she had grown another head – or several – and she sighed. "What that means," she explained, "is that your kind of amnesia was caused by a certain traumatic event – mainly my almost purifying you – and is the type where you still have your wits about you, but you can't remember yourself, friends, family, and etcetera. Seems like your semantic and procedural memory is fine…"

He looked impressed, and seemed interested in beginning to read, but he made himself wait – he had plenty of time to read when she was in her own time. On the other hand, Kagome felt lost; it hadn't seemed real until now, but here – in front of him, telling him – it became very real. She had done this to him. 

He could feel the weight of her sorrow; it was like a heavy, black curtain that had come down upon their shoulders, and he wished to be rid of it. Putting the book down, he grasped her hand yet again and lifted her up. He swept her into his arms and they walked towards the field of flowers where Rin played when she were younger. But now Rin was interested in other things, and she was with Ah-Un somewhere, and they had the field to themselves.

He settled them in a patch of bright violet blooms, and Kagome tried not to step on them. Sesshoumaru smirked, but felt pride and amazement at her love of all things living. She bent to look more closely, and smelled them. He did the same, and they spent a portion of the late morning lazing about in a field of flowers.

For dinner, Sesshoumaru was overruled by the women and they fished; neither had seen this side of the youkai, and it amused them to see him flounder about – inu were not fishers. When they had caught enough, the females cooked them over a fire that Ah-Un had graced them with. Jaken grumbled to the side, murmuring about useless onna. But Kagome had the impression that he was upset that Sesshoumaru seemed to not need him any longer. Did Jaken miss the old, ruthless Sesshoumaru? Did he miss the glory of killing and the excitement of battle? Regardless, they had not really battled for some time, according to Rin.

After dinner, Rin went to bathe in the pool, and Jaken followed to start the small campfire in there as he watched over her. Sesshoumaru was just about to speak to the miko when they heard the shrill, girlish scream. In the blink of an eye, the demon lord had crossed the clearing to the cave, and entered, which only made the screaming worse. He left the cave to stand outside, where he asked his ward if she was all right.

"I'm FINE!" she cried, obviously disturbed.

The Taiyoukai and the smaller retainer exchanged looks; they were baffled. It took Kagome much longer to run across the field, but she was concerned as well. As she approached, Sesshoumaru apologized for leaving her behind and then told her it was not a good idea to enter – they didn't know what was wrong with Rin. Kagome looked inside, and saw Rin huddled in the corner of the pool, clutching herself tightly. Obviously, she was distressed.

Kagome moved to walk into the warmer cave; Jaken had been successful in making a campfire before Rin's assault on his sensitive youkai ears. Suddenly, her youkai stopped her; he seemed alarmed, holding her back with an arm as he sniffed the air. He zipped into the cave, Jaken on his heels. Kagome wondered what they sensed – sometimes, she wished she had the powers of youkai – but she was glad to not have super-hearing as Rin screamed once more, sending the males packing.

"Get OUT!"

Jaken yelled back – something about obstinate and insufferable children and ungrateful women. Sesshoumaru, still concerned and baffled, only stood outside the cave. Kagome decided. She strode into the cave, the two youkai males attempting to hold her back. She waved them off, telling them that she didn't have sensitive ears like they did. There was nothing they could do – they stood their ground and waited, now concerned for Kagome's welfare as well.

"Perhaps Rin is possessed?" Jaken croaked, much to his master's dismay. 

Sesshoumaru turned cold, hard eyes on him, making the youkai squeak and grovel, but the thought lingered with him… But then… why the scent of blood?

Kagome had dealt with many witches, demons, ghosts, black mikos, monsters, and the over-all undead for three years now. She wasn't afraid of Rin. Walking directly in, she flinched when Rin spun her head, obviously irate from the other attempts to enter from the males. But when she saw it was Kagome, her features softened, and she began to cry.

"Oh, Kagome-sama!" The girl said, her vision blurry already through her tear-hazed eyes.

Kagome looked at her huddled form, then looked at the clothes near the pool. She saw nothing wrong, but undressed and entered as well. She hugged Rin, holding her close and allowing her to cry. After several moments, the girl began to calm and the sniffling finally slowed so she could speak. Kagome waited patiently, allowing her to begin. She didn't have to wait long.

"Kagome, I…"

Rin looked away suddenly, ashamed. Kagome frowned. What could be causing such a reaction in the normally bubbly, cheerful Rin? She steeled herself.

"Kagome… Remember how you taught me about 'periods' and how they mark you becoming an adult?"

_Oh_, Kagome thought. Some strange, detached part of the miko's mind registered how her influence had allowed Rin to stop referring to herself in the third person.

"I… I'm not sure, but I think I got mine," Rin said sadly.

"How do you know?" Kagome asked her quietly.

Rin thought for only a moment. "Well, I'm bleeding. And I didn't hurt myself. You told me that other things happen when the cycle comes…" She waited for some kind of reaction from the woman.

Kagome nodded encouraging her to continue.

"My stomach felt funny today. I thought it was something I ate. But it was different. Like, I was hungrier, and I was craving stuff, but anything I ate didn't satisfy my hunger. And… I hurt."

Kagome smiled sympathetically. "Rin-chan… those stomach pains are called 'cramps'. I know they feel odd. If you take a warm bath, they will ease," she told the now-young-woman. 

Rin nodded. "They do feel better, since I've been in the water," she agreed.

Kagome smiled wider. "And the cravings are normal. You have things in your body called 'hormones', and they make you want to eat things that you don't even know you want. As for the hurting…" Kagome looked away, but Rin touched her arm, compelling her to continue. "Well, your muscles will ache, even though you haven't done anything. And you might become impossibly tired-"

"I took a nap today in the woods," Rin confessed, looking embarrassed.

Kagome nodded her understanding. "And you might be sore, in your chest," Kagome finished.

"Why?"

"I'm not really sure," Kagome told her truthfully. "But it sucks."

They laughed, but then Rin brought something up that confused the older woman. Rin bent so low, her mouth was almost under water, and she spoke so softly, Kagome strained to hear her. But when she understood what the girl was saying, she also understood why she wanted such privacy.

"Kagome-sama, I'm very grateful for your knowledge, but that's not what I meant by hurting," Rin said, looking towards the cave entrance.

Kagome looked at her both questioningly and curiously.

"I…" Rin looked down at the water, as if not really wanting to say what she was about to say. Kagome waited, and thought about how after tonight, she should be made the Patron Saint of Patience.

"When I think about Kohaku," Rin began, her cheeks flushing a bright rosy hue, " I hurt."

Kagome knew it would be rude to laugh, so she bit her cheek; on the other hand, she was relieved to finally know why Rin had been so distant lately.

"Rin-chan, that's not really pain, per say," Kagome told her. "It's more of… an ache." She sighed, blowing little ripples in the water.

"Oh," the girl said. "Well, why do I feel this way? It's only when I think of _him_."

Now, Kagome did laugh. "Because, I know how you feel," she told the girl.

"Oh!" Rin said, smiling finally. "You mean like with Sesshoumaru-sama?" Rin said, brightening.

But Kagome did not want Sesshoumaru hearing this part of the conversation any more than Rin had wanted him to hear about Kohaku. She scowled at her, lowering her own voice. "Yes," she replied simply.

Rin smiled, then frowned. "Does this… Does this mean I love Kohaku?"

Kagome thought for a moment, then answered in the best way she knew. "It might. You could just be attracted to him, but the two of you went through a lot together. The only way to find out is to spend some time with him," Kagome told her.

Rin brightened again at the idea of this. "That is a wonderful idea, Kagome-sama!" Back to the frown. "But, how will I convince Sesshoumaru-sama that I intend to spend time with him?"

Kagome smiled craftily. "You don't. Don't worry, leave it up to me. Now that you are an adult, you need a new kimono more than ever," she said, winking at the young woman.

Rin realized what she was implying, and winked back.

When Kagome knew all was well, she exited the pool and dressed. To her utter relief, she found that Sesshoumaru had travelled back to the eating campsite, where he had rifled through Kagome's pack in search of the Psychology book. He was reading it avidly. Kagome sat next to him, blowing a puff of air though a few strands of hair as she sighed.

"You weren't listening?" she said, an eyebrow raised in surprise.

"Should I have been?" he asked, mimicking her expression and putting the book down.

Kagome giggled. "No, I'm glad you weren't; Rin was troubled," she told him.

The demon smirked. "After I knew there was no real danger, I left you to her."

Kagome looked at him askance. "But… there was blood…"

Now, Sesshoumaru looked troubled. "Indeed. But something inside told me that it was not a wound that troubled Rin," he said, looking to Kagome for reassurance.

She waited a moment, taking in the information and choosing her words. "Our Rin is becoming a woman," she said quietly.

Sesshoumaru was taken aback. He hadn't anticipated this; his instincts told him he knew what this was, yet with his memory loss, he hadn't experienced it first-hand. Kagome had not been with him long enough for him to be subjected to it. He didn't even recognize Kagome's use of the collective possession of the young girl.

The miko noticed his confusion, and simply said, "She's going to need a new kimono; that one is too small."

Sesshoumaru seemed to think for a moment, and agreed. "Yes. She seems overdue for a larger one," he said, looking in the direction of the growing-up girl.

"She told me you were all on your way to get her one when our little 'accident' occurred," Kagome informed him.

He was mildly surprised, but took it in stride. "Then perhaps we should try again."

END CHAPTER.


	7. VII

_**A/N**_: Don't forget – (&) will mark the beginning/end of a dream or flashback, depending on the situation. I want to thank everyone reading this, because if you are, it means you've stuck around, despite the fact that I have been MIA. I not only needed a break from writing, but from life as well. I'm so sorry I've kept you all waiting, and I hope you'll stick around for this story – apparently, it's a doozy.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

**FanFiction(dot)net**: PandylBas, kittyb78, darknessofmyheart, KANYONKHAOS.

**PaperDemon**: jns3372

**DeviantART**: Cali2007, no1sangel07

**InuyashaFanFiction: **blackfairy119, KougasWoman, dirtydogs57

**Replies Mediaminer**:

**Ethereal Siren** – LOL You crack me up. I don't think they plan on having THAT talk, lol. I try really hard to NOT feel bad for Inuyasha, considering everything. But I'm not a SessKag fan for nothing, so I reason with myself whenever I'm writing as him. Thanks so much for reading!

**DivaG** – Well, I'm glad you found me here, seeing that you're going to have to follow this here. I'm so sad about ASS, but what can you do? With all fandoms, you always run the risk of losing a site, club, or an artist/writer. Thanks for all your compliments! I pride myself in being as canon as possible (personality-wise) when it comes to the characters. And no, I would never, EVER make Inuyasha a villain just for a stories' sake. I love him too much. I've seen other stories that do just that, and it makes me cringe. You have such a FABULOUS grasp on the story! You're correct in just about everything, and I'm so glad you 'get it', lol. And yes, their fears ARE important to the story. ; )

**buzzk97** – I've never been fond of the 'sneaking around as a couple' bit, so I had to do it sooner than later; sooner preferably. I always thought that Rin would be the "As long as Sesshoumaru-sama is happy" type, so that's how I made her. I'm glad you're enjoying it.

**MaraJade116** – You crack me up! Yeah, I was really going for sexually frustrated. And I guess most of the people reading this haven't been in that situation, so they don't know, but it really IS TRUE. Even if you're in love with someone else, if an incredibly hot guy comes up to you and kisses you, you generally kiss them back. At least until your senses straighten out, LOL. The feeling I was trying to convey with the whole tingling-blood thing was supposed to be erotic – almost like the feeling right before an orgasm. But I didn't want to be so crude, and I guess I didn't do a good enough job describing it, because not too many people picked up on it. So just so you know, for future reference, whenever they taste each other's blood, it's going to be a toe-curling, limb-shaking, mind-numbing experience. Hmm… maybe I should use that, lol. And just to clarify, she really IS in love with him, although it's because of a mixture of things: Inuyasha not making a move, Sesshoumaru caring for her (and not afraid to show it), and her general need for someone to care for her. Don't worry – we're gonna go through all of these things eventually laughs maniacally You just have to wait and see. This story is far from over. : D

**snowbirdyoukai** – I'm so glad you like his characterization! Don't worry, he won't forget, although he will TRY to. Did I say too much? LOL Don't worry, you couldn't even guess what I have in store for this fic. Ahaha! You're very sadistic! Poor Sesshoumaru. Well, I don't want to say anything, because I don't want to give any more away. And you ARE right – neither of them know it, but in a way, they ARE almost mates. Almost. And about her being pregnant, well… I don't want to say anything. It could give something away, or it might mislead you into thinking something that isn't going to happen. You'll just have to see.

_I'm extremely sorry I can no longer reply to anyone on A-Single-Spark, but it's not my choice. I hope those of you that read there had no trouble finding this. After all, ASS redirects you now to IYFF, and TWLG is posted there as well. _

_**Dedicated to my awesomely great friend, Ailionora on deviantART. She drew me the best SessKag pic EVAR and I adore her for it. Details at the end of the chapter about it. Anyhow, she used to be a huge SessKag fan, and we have some other stuff planned. Love ya, A-chan!**_

That's the Way Love Goes

Chapter VII

Sesshoumaru was thrust into consciousness by his own voice.

"Meidou Zanghetsuha!" he heard himself cry.

He watched, morbidly fascinated and still confused as to how he had gotten into this situation. He was squaring off against his brother again. How tiresome. And yet… Something was different. The hanyou was seemingly youkai now; deep, jagged, lilac stripes graced his face and his eyes burned a deep red, with demonic slits. His power was great, perhaps on the same level as his own.

Sesshoumaru watched as the great void he cut into the air tried to swallow Inuyasha whole.

Thoughts flooded his mind, reminding him as to why they were here in the first place. _Meidou Zanghetsuha is a technique that_ this Sesshoumaru _perfected_, he thought as the pull of the giant hole attempted to pull the hanyou through. _If it is fated to someday become yours, then you can just take it right now!_

Suddenly, as he watched his brother float into hell, he felt somber. _Is this the end for you, Inuyasha? Though you were supposed to be Tessaiga's successor…_ Almost angrily, Sesshoumaru lifted Tessaiga, suddenly realizing that he did, in fact, have the legendary heirloom in his grasp. _In that case_, he thought irritably, _I have no need for a sword like this. Vanish into hell. Along with Inuyasha_. With that, he tossed the Tessaiga towards the gaping hole, and it floated easily into the darkness.

He watched as Inuyasha reclaimed his sword, allowing it to transform into its' Dragon-Scaled form. But Inuyasha seemed to be just as confused. Had he not summoned the transformation? An enormous cloud of youki formed, and Sesshoumaru watched eagerly. _Is that Inuyasha's youki?_ His brother seemed to be contemplating his options.

His brother was searching; it seemed as if he was unsure that the path he was about to take was the correct one. However, once you are in hell, you don't have many options. He wanted to yell to his brother to stop when he saw Inuyasha cut his own youketsu – his life force as a demon – but he would not move. His former self had only been mildly interested in how Inuyasha was going to escape. As he watched, however, Inuyasha's youki seemed to grow. _So… this is proof of succession_, he thought as he saw the size of Inuyasha's youki grow until it had overcome the Meidou he had opened. _Inuyasha's youkai power is overwhelming the Meidou…_

Sesshoumaru watched his brother impatiently wait for his youki to grow, overtaking the hell-hole. Suddenly, spears of diamond shot through the air, one lodging itself into Inuyasha's shoulder. He wanted to go to his brother and help defeat the common enemy, but his former self had too much pride for that and simply watched as the filthy collection of lesser demons known as Naraku manipulated a sword that had stolen Tessaiga's powers.

Suddenly, Sesshoumaru felt Inuyasha's power weaken. The wound, no doubt, had lessened the hanyou's youki and caused it to shrink. _Naraku…!_ Knowing his enemy may be destroyed within was too tempting, however, and Sesshoumaru found himself floating into the Meidou after Inuyasha, who was now yelling at the replica Tessaiga.

He saw the sword hovering above his brother's head, who was unawares of its' advantageous position. When Inuyasha finally realized and braced himself for impact, Sesshoumaru grabbed a hold of the hilt, controlling it. Both Naraku and Inuyasha called to him, surprised at his interfering. Naraku attempted to bait him, but it wouldn't work. _Naraku, I already hold the answer_…

"Ready yourself, Inuyasha," he told his brother.

_This fight is between Inuyasha and I. You no longer have a role in this, Naraku!_ With a great leap, Sesshoumaru clashed swords with the weakened hanyou, diamond shards still protruding from his back. As the swords met, Sesshoumaru's crackled, with shards of glass breaking and falling away from the sword. Startled, Sesshoumaru's memory flooded his mind. He remembered how the sword had been covered with Kanna's enchanted mirror, absorbing Tessaiga's ability. And of course, that sword was none other than… Tenseiga!

But it was too late. With the deceased demon's power vanished, the real Tessaiga was too strong, and Tenseiga bent to its' sibling's will.

Inuyasha seemed shocked as the tipped half of the sword fell gracefully away from the hilt's half, into oblivion. Then there was a surge of power, and Tessaiga pulsed. There were two changes that Sesshoumaru noticed immediately. _Meidou Zanghetsuha_, he thought as Tessaiga's blade glowed black. He looked to his brother's face; Inuyasha had returned to his hanyou state. But there was no time to ponder – Naraku was again taunting them, telling them that they were stuck in hell.

Turning back to his brother, he saw that he was no longer conscious: He's unconscious; just from something like Naraku's poison… _Hmph. He's just a hanyou_. Sesshoumaru came closer to his brother, gazing upon his sleeping form. Bending down, he inspected the hanyou… and then punched him square across the jaw. The dreaming Taiyoukai recoiled in surprise; he struck a defenseless person!

Inuyasha mumbled as he awoke. "Sesshoumaru…" he managed. When his brother remained silent, the half-demon started again. "Bastard… You still wanna fight?"

Ignoring his goading, Sesshoumaru didn't let him continue. "The Meidou has closed."

Startled, Inuyasha began to feel nervous. "What do you mean?"

Looking far into the distant, familiar blackness of hell, Sesshoumaru knew his brother understood what he had said and did not repeat himself. "Whether we're swallowed by the Meidou like this, or return to the world of the living… Inuyasha, it's up to you."

"Up… to me?" Inuyasha was surprised again. Frowning, he confronted the demon. "Saying that with such a calm face… Does that mean you know of a way out?"

Now, Sesshoumaru faced his brother, scowling about having to make things clearer for his dimwitted brother. "This Sesshoumaru just told you. It's something only you can do." The present Sesshoumaru wondered about his motives; obviously by such a statement, he was sure Inuyasha would save both of them and was therefore leaving his life in his brothers' hands. Such confidence! And after the way he had treated the hanyou! He watched as the slow half-demon worked things through…

Inuyasha stared at his sword and it instantly changed: the once-gleaming Tessaiga turned into the color of true despair, promising death and hopelessness to those who may fight against it. Sesshoumaru knew his brother had caught on, but the hanyou suddenly turned to him, confronting him.

"Sesshoumaru, back then… it was like you broke Tenseiga yourself…"

But Sesshoumaru had other things on his mind, and brought this to the inuhanyou's attention. "You don't have time to be making small talk."

Alarmed, Inuyasha realized his brother was warning him, and looked around, only to find his body was vanishing. Sesshoumaru had realized it only moments before, but had he not told his foolish brother, they would probably be fighting in hell right now. He heard his brother cry out for advice.

_Inuyasha, that's your sword, now. You have to use it in your own way_. He watched as Inuyasha despaired in his panic. He idly wondered if Naraku was watching in safety from a distance.

Inuyasha turned to him, only to find his brother even less "there" than he was and yelled, "Don't disappear, Sesshoumaru! Not only you surrendering your sword, but I don't want your death on my conscious, too!"

Sesshoumaru's stomach clenched a little, partially from a slow, creeping dread, a little from Inuyasha's expression; he had been angry when he cried out, but there was something else, too. It almost looked as if Inuyasha _cared_…

The hanyou looked around and seemed to notice something. "It's there!"

He watched as Inuyasha swung the black Tessaiga in the air hitting what looked like a small tear of light. With the impact, the tear widened, and then ripped open. The brothers were bathed in a bombardment of light, and then the two of them were on the edge of their own world. Sesshoumaru watched an exhausted Inuyasha fall onto the earth, Tessaiga returning to its' slumbering state.

He floated down to the ground, his young ward, Rin, calling to him as she ran to his side. Scowling, he watched Kagome cry out for his brother and kneeled by his unconscious form.

"So, the one who cut the Meidou from the inside was Inuyasha, huh?"

Sesshoumaru turned to find the old man Kagome told him was Toutousai, and the old youkai wasn't finished.

"Sesshoumaru, have you come to an understanding?" the aged youkai asked.

"Th-then it's true?! That Tenseiga was absorbed by Tessaiga?!"

Sesshoumaru turned to find his servant, Jaken, squawking at his feet. "It doesn't interest me anymore," he said to no one in particular, scowling. Turning away, Sesshoumaru began to walk. "Let's go, Jaken."

He heard the tiny youkai agree, but the ancient demon stopped him. "Wait, Sesshoumaru."

Sesshoumaru halted long enough to hear.

"You may be reluctant to do so… but take that with you. It fell out of the Meidou along with you two," Toutousai explained.

Inuyasha finally regained consciousness, hearing these first words and gazing upon the Tenseiga, thrust into the ground some yards away. "That's… Tenseiga…? But, I thought it broke…" It was more of a statement than a question.

The old youkai pulled the heirloom out of the ground and thrust it towards Sesshoumaru. "In the end, it's back to its' original form," he said. "The sword that can not cut. The healing Tenseiga."

"So?" He heard himself say. "Are you saying this Sesshoumaru should carry that and go around saving people? Don't mock me." The statement was laced with a threat Toutousai would not argue with.

"Hey…" he whined as Sesshoumaru walked away, Jaken scrambling after him.

He heard Rin explain to the old demon that she would give the sword to him when he was feeling better, and he smiled internally. Then, to his amazement, he heard a boy's voice calling to someone, and realized the boy was intending to follow him. Who was this boy and why did he want to travel with him? Intrigued, Sesshoumaru kept walking until he disappeared into a white mist of consciousness…

&

Sesshoumaru awoke with a start, finding Kagome next to him. She was staring at him with a worried expression, and it irked him.

"Yes?" he said, sitting up.

"You… were mumbling in your sleep," she informed him.

Taken aback, he softened his expression.

"Did you have another dream?" she asked.

Sesshoumaru hung his head and sighed. Kagome took this as a positive.

Kagome kept her eyes trained on her hands, which were folded neatly in her lap. "What was this one about?" she asked meekly.

He inhaled deeply, and told her what he could. When he finished, her eyes were as wide as saucers.

"I… I never knew all that!" she exclaimed. Sesshoumaru tilted his head curiously. "I mean… the ending sounds right, but Inuyasha never told me what happened other than Naraku attacking…" She looked off into the distance, but then her angry eyes snapped to his confused ones. "You attacked him when he was unconscious?"

She was so blazingly furious that he almost didn't understand, but then he caught on. He matched her scowl. "This Sesshoumaru was only attempting to wake him," he said angrily, upset that she would think he meant to actually harm his brother while he couldn't defend himself.

Kagome was surprised at his language use, but tried to hide it. "You couldn't have tried shaking him?" she seethed.

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes dangerously. "I am not his mother…" he said. Then added with a sneer… "nor his lover."

Enraged by the insinuation, Kagome flew to her feet. "Inuyasha and I have never been lovers! I was only trying to say that you didn't have to beat him into the land of the living. Thanks a lot, jerk."

She stomped off, seemingly towards the cave. Sesshoumaru fumed and stewed, angry at her words, and his. He knew she was right; his younger self would not have admitted this though, and so would have done the same. But something about her expression when she had knelt by Inuyasha's side, tending to his wounds… it made him so angry! He could feel his cheeks flush with his fury.

This was ridiculous. At the time, she had been deeply in love with Inuyasha; he knew this because she had told him. And he had had no feelings whatsoever for the miko – she was a mere mortal he would think nothing of if she passed on. Just because things were different now, he shouldn't bring the past up to harm whatever relationship they had… He decided he would let her cool – when Kagome was angry, she tended to stay that way for some time – and then apologize. Because he didn't have much time left with her until she had to leave again…

Kagome paced in the cave, her feet stomping her anger into the ground. _That jerk! He knows I used to love Inuyasha! And he knows I don't love him in that way anymore! What does he want, for me to reassure him that I love him more…?_ Stopping dead in her tracks, Kagome entertained the thought that maybe, _just maybe_, she had stumbled upon something important. Was Sesshoumaru, the great and powerful Lord of the West, the Taiyoukai of these lands, ruler of everything around her for miles… insecure?

With wide eyes, Kagome contemplated the possibilities. He acted like a jealous boyfriend. But… he's Sesshoumaru. He only became angry when she spoke of his brother. But… he's Sesshoumaru. All signs pointed to an unsure youkai, but… he's Sesshoumaru! She didn't think Sesshoumaru had ever been insecure in his life! Kagome indulged in a mental image of a toddler Sesshoumaru having his pacifier taken away by his mother, and Sesshoumaru shrugging it off as he plotted a way to get it back later.

Giggling, Kagome returned to her thoughts. If he was lacking confidence, then she would have to build it back up. Smiling devilishly, Kagome thought of a way to help Sesshoumaru understand that she wanted only him…

--

Some time later, when Kagome had returned from gathering lunch with Rin, she sought out her Lord and found him sitting with his eyes closed, leaning back against a tree. She knew he wasn't sleeping, but given the fact he was presently ignoring her presence, she decided to test him. From a good fifteen or so feet away, Kagome picked up a handsomely large rock and proceeded to chuck it in a rather unlady-like and unbecoming fashion right at the Taiyoukai's head. At a speed no one else could match, an elegantly striped left arm snapped up and the attack was thwarted.

Kagome snickered. Not only had she been right, but the way Sesshoumaru was sitting, cross-legged and with one hand in the air with his fist closed around the rock, he looked like a 'lucky cat'. _He would be a white one, of course_, she told herself, and had to keep herself from laughing out loud. No need to stifle herself, because then one golden eye peeked open to level her with a glare. _And that's with one eye!_ Kagome cautiously stepped around to his side, kneeling in the grass to his right.

"I knew you would catch it," she giggled nervously.

"Hn," he replied, turning his full gaze on her.

At a loss for words since he was obviously still upset, Kagome drew closer. His right hand was still alight his knee, and she reached for it. His hand twitched ever so slightly as she touched it, as if he thought she was going to burn him. She almost reclaimed her appendages, but instead decided to stay where she was. She quashed her hesitation and stroked the back of his hand with tender, loving strokes.

His gaze had gone to their touching skin, but now he returned his eyes to her own, and he saw her devotion in them.

"I'm sorry," he said unexpectedly.

Kagome froze. Not only had she not been expecting an apology, but she didn't believe anyone had ever heard those two little words from that mouth and ever lived to tell. She snapped out of it when she saw his head hang slightly, and her heart stuttered ever so slightly.

"I am t-" His fingers were instantly on her lips, effectively silencing her.

"No." He shook his head as if to emphasize his point. "You have nothing to apologize for. I was acting… like a pup. I know you no longer have feelings for the han-… for my brother. These dreams… They haunt me. Everything is so strange. In my dreams, I watch everything happen through my own eyes, yet I can hear my old thoughts even though I am thinking now as well. There have been times I have wanted to do things differently, but I cannot, since they did not happen that way."

Kagome felt bad for him… she knew he was a changed man, er, youkai. At the same time, however, she was glad he had gone back to using first person wording. Whenever he referred to himself in the third person, he seemed more distant, like she couldn't reach him, even if he was right in front of her.

"Sesshoumaru?"

His eyes shot to her face when he heard the gentle tone in her voice. She smiled at him, and he felt his fears melt.

"I wouldn't have it any other way. If you had been… more forgiving of nature when we had met, you probably would have taken a wife long ago, and we wouldn't be able to be together now," she told him. He seemed to think this through and finally nodded, agreeing with her.

"I have never thought of it that way. You may be correct. Therefore I am grateful to the circumstances as well. Although now I worry for my relationship with my brother…"

Taken aback, Kagome gasped. For the second time today, words came from his mouth she would have never thought he would say.

"Kagome, do you think he will ever forgive us?"

Kagome looked down at their now entwined fingers and sighed. Finally sure of herself, she looked up at him and smiled. "Yeah. I think he will."

Sesshoumaru then bent to kiss her deeply, and Kagome was filled with a fuzzy warmth that intoxicated her. She heard him groan, a sound that told her someone was approaching and he wished they weren't. She smiled against his lips and watched Rin approach.

The girl was blushing slightly and had her head bent. Kagome assumed she was embarrassed about their display, which in turn, embarrassed Kagome. Sesshoumaru felt the two womens' emotions and fought the urge to roll his eyes.

"Kagome-chan? Will you be joining me?"

Suddenly she remembered, and jumped to her feet. "Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry Rin! I meant to only be a few minutes. Yes, let's go eat!" She turned to the demon and motioned for him to join them, and she watched as he hesitantly rose. Then she turned to the young woman beside her. "And Rin-chan, just call me Kagome."

Rin graced her with a huge smile, and Kagome smiled back. "Then call me Rin," she answered.

"Ok," Kagome said as they walked to where they had placed the fruits, nuts, and roots they had found.

--

When they had finished, Rin excused herself, leaving Sesshoumaru and Kagome alone once more. He watched his lover as she in turn watched his ward skip through a field. He felt a surge of pride and love, and wondered if he had ever felt this way before. He only felt hatred in the dreams, or anger, or arrogance. But there was still much of his memory missing, and there could be something else in one of the missing pieces of the puzzle. With a resigned sigh, he leaned back until he was laying down. Before he knew what happened, Kagome had pounced on him. She was now laying on his chest, her arms reaching back past his head.

"I do not remember this position, Kagome," he said with a smirk. She flushed instantly.

"Get your mind out of the hole, Sesshoumaru," she tried to say with much more smugness than she ought to be allowed.

He grinned now, and it made her heart melt. It had been different with Inuyasha; it hadn't been hard to make him smile. But who would have thought that Sesshoumaru was capable of such a thing? And to see him smile was like winning the lotto – it made you feel like you could do anything; like you were invincible.

Clearing her throat, Kagome put her plan into motion. If she was going to convince Sesshoumaru of her devotion to him, he would need to see Inuyasha. Plus, she had promised Rin some alone time with Kohaku. "Sesshoumaru, we really need to get Rin a new kimono…"

"Hn," was all he said. He had really only half-heard. He was enjoying the feel of having his female lay atop him.

Kagome frowned. "Sesshoumaru…"

He heard the warning tone in her voice – something that, if it had been in his own language, would have been a growl – and snapped to attention.

Now that she knew he was listening, Kagome repeated her request. He looked at her with scrutinizing eyes, but saw she meant it.

"Very well," he told her. Then, to her surprise, he picked her up and got to his feet, placing her down gently. He began to walk towards the small cave the bedded in, and Kagome found herself following him.

"W-wait! What are you doing? Where are you going?" she cried as she scrambled after him.

"We leave in an hour for Inuyasha's village," he said matter-of-factly.

It was enough to make her stop in her tracks. "Now?" she asked, her voice reaching a high end.

Stopping to sigh, Sesshoumaru explained his actions, something he hated to do, but with Kagome around, was often necessary. "If we leave tomorrow, they will likely close the shop before we get there. If we leave tonight, we can camp nearby and buy the kimono early."

She realized that not only was he right, but that it made her plan easier. Smiling at him, she ran to catch up to his side before telling him, "Okay."

--

Back in the cave, Kagome knew this was her last opportunity for a warm bath. She begged, and soon the two girls found themselves splashing hot water at each other playfully. The three youkai waited outside; Ah-Un the only one that did not have the urge to roll its' eyes at the females' behavior.

They didn't take long, though, and in fifteen minutes time, the two were ready to go again. And just in time, for as she dressed, a tear had split the area of the kimono indecently – for that era – showing a flash of thigh. Sesshoumaru sulked, but Kagome reassured him, and soon they were on their way.

On the outskirts of Kaede's village, they made camp and Kagome even ran into one of the local women. She was a little disturbed by the presence of the overwhelming youkai, but Inuyasha had built a trust in this town and they were more careful of misplaced anger. She told Kagome that Inuyasha had been especially moody as of late and had brought enough meat and firewood to last the town a week. Laughing to herself, Kagome knew all too well the signs of the angry hanyou. Slicing trees to bits and killing every food-worthy animal in sight was a habit she was sure he would never get rid of.

With a sigh, Kagome listened to the woman ramble and then told her of her own predicament. The woman inspected Rin and agreed that indeed, a new kimono was needed. _Oh thanks_, Kagome noted mentally, _now I can go on with life, since you gave us permission to clothe the girl… _The woman, however, volunteered to let the kimono-maker know she would have a customer tomorrow and that it was a friend of Lady Kagome's, and if anything, Kagome was grateful. It meant that they were guaranteed a kimono, and less time spent in the shop.

When they were alone again, the Taiyoukai spoke. "She was unafraid." It wasn't really a question, but Kagome decided to explain anyways.

"Naraku was the worst terror these people had seen, and Inuyasha was the best thing to happen to them. They have realized that there are bad and good youkai, as there are bad and good humans. So no, they're not afraid."

She noticed Jaken nodding his head sagely, and she wondered if he was remembering the way the evil hanyou had reigned his terror down upon these people and tried to destroy the village. But he was not the one to speak up.

A defiant, angry Rin was the one who broke the silence. "These poor people almost lost their lives, their homes, their families… His shouki filled the air. If I hadn't had Kohaku there to protect me…"

Kagome's own memory flashed back to remember the girl, a few years younger, on the back of the great two-headed dragon with Kohaku holding her steady as they fled the miasma Naraku filled the air with. She turned to Sesshoumaru, who looked slightly puzzled. He seemed to still be missing this part of his memory, although parts of the final battle had come back to him already. Then it hit her… Did he remember Kohaku? Did he know about how the young man had travelled with them and helped save Rin so many times? If not, this was going to be harder than she thought…

She shot Rin a pathetic, fake smile, and the younger girl thankfully said no more of the slayer boy. They went about their day, and soon it was dinner time. Kagome warned Sesshoumaru not to hunt any of the villagers' livestock, and he glared at her. She laughed it off, telling him she had to make sure he knew. To everyone's surprise, he asked for Jaken's assistance. Jaken cried and groveled, following his master.

When he was gone, Rin spun on her elder with a suspicious look.

"What's going on?"

Even if Kagome had wanted to deny anything was wrong, her face had already given her away.

"Um… what do you mean, Rin?" She laughed nervously.

Rin was no fool. She was brought up and taught by the most stoic youkai there was. Nothing could get by her. She narrowed her eyes at Kagome.

"You didn't want me talking about Kohaku, and Sesshoumaru-sama seems like he doesn't remember things. I've stayed quiet, but now I want to know…" She stomped a foot in annoyance to emphasize her point.

Kagome's eyes widened, and Rin knew she had pinned her.

With a sigh, Kagome slumped her shoulders in defeat. After swearing Rin to secrecy, Kagome quickly told her a shortened version of the story, and then attempted to answer a few questions.

"But… If he doesn't remember… How does he get around?" Rin asked.

Kagome smiled. "Sesshoumaru is devious. Most of the time, you or Jaken have led the way. Or me. But his memory is coming back quickly…"

Rin took it all in stride, and Kagome was amazed. She had to remind herself sometimes that this was real, yet the younger woman acted as if this was normal.

"Remember, Rin," Kagome said with warning in her voice, "you can't let Sesshoumaru find out. You must be careful. He's very prideful, and he'll hate both of us if he finds out that you know…"

Rin smiled wickedly. "You mean he'll hate _you_ if he finds out you told me."

Kagome scowled, but it had no effect on the girl that served as Sesshoumaru's daughter. _Spawn of the devil_, Kagome thought bitterly.

"Okay, Kagome," she giggled. "Let's build a fire for them! They'll probably be back soon…"

With a nod, the miko assisted her and they chatted over safe topics, like wondering what color Rin's new kimono would be or what the weather would be like tomorrow. They had just gotten the fire started when Sesshoumaru and Jaken reappeared.

Rin and Kagome ate slowly, chatting vibrantly. Sesshoumaru was suspicious, since they seemed a little too chummy; he had no complaints, but it seemed as if something had transpired while he was away. Soon, though, Rin began to yawn, and she settled herself in her usual spot next to the two-headed dragon. Jaken joined her, and Sesshoumaru sat in silence as Kagome busied herself cleaning the campsite.

Once she was sure the little demon and the girl were asleep, Kagome relaxed. She had barely breathed a sigh of relief when Sesshoumaru was suddenly behind her. His arms snaked around her waist, and she giggled.

"S-Sesshoumaru…"

He bent his head low, so as to speak directly into her ear. When his breath ghosted her ear, a shiver thrilled her.

"Now to finish what you had started…" he told her in a low voice.

Kagome stilled in apprehension. "You… you wouldn't. Not with…" She looked towards the sleeping trio out of the corner of her eye.

"Wouldn't I?" he asked cryptically, a smirk playing across his lips. He could hear her heart beating erratically in her chest and chanced a nibble on the shell of her ear. To his delight, she melted in his grasp. He spun her, and she gasped.

Her large blue eyes were wide with surprise, but he also saw lust in them. Before he could react, her lips were against his.

An hour later, they lay in the forest some distance away, disheveled, sweating, and panting despite the growing coolness of the night. Satiated, they were content to hold each other. When they had rested, Sesshoumaru had to force Kagome to dress. She whined the entire time, and he smirked. It was cold out now, and she was warm in his arms. When they had returned, however, she perked at the thought of a bath. He accompanied her to a nearby stream, and afterwards she changed into her pajamas and fell asleep in the arms of a Taiyoukai.

In the morning, Kagome was brought back to consciousness by an alarming sound. The deep, vibrating, warning growl was not meant for friends, and therefore, she knew a stranger would be approaching. Several moments later, a young woman approached them. Kagome could tell she was fearful – you didn't often live long after laying eyes on a Taiyoukai, and then there was Jaken and Ah-Un to consider – but she attempted to compose herself, and her voice was nearly convincing when she spoke, bowing low in front of the miko.

"Kagome-sama, we would be happy to have you in our humble shop," she said, almost inhaling the dirt.

Kagome looked at her angrily. The girl had never bowed so low before. Just because Sesshoumaru was here didn't mean she had to eat sand.

"Hina, get up," Kagome pleaded. "We would love to come by, but if you don't look at me, I won't speak to you."

The girl was obviously terrified and intimidated by the presence of such a youkai. Yet they had seen him before… Her eyes suddenly wide with comprehension, Kagome realized why the woman feared him so. It hadn't been long ago that here, Naraku's resting place, the whole village had gotten an eyeful of Sesshoumaru. Her heart hammered in her chest, and she could practically feel him watching her curiously. _Stupid, pretty dogs and their senses of smell and hearing_, she thought angrily. _At least they can't read minds,_ she sighed mentally.

The young woman named Hina finally looked up at her, apparently mistaking Kagome's anger, and jumped up. "I'm so sorry, Kagome-sama. I will do as you wish," she said as she waited for Kagome to follow her.

Kagome rolled her eyes. Damnit, she wasn't a real miko! Many of the villagers still insisted on treating her as such, although she often voiced her opinion on it. But the villagers just waved her off, calling her a 'funny young girl', and kept their formal place. She knew they were simply following tradition, but it was unnecessary, and wasted on her. It was the reason that she and Kaede were planning to find a new miko to train.

Kaede had hoped Kagome was going to be her successor, but between her double-life and her hatred for traditional respect towards her, the old woman had known that it wasn't going to happen. Plus, she hadn't known what was going to happen if that cowardly hanyou ever made a move. Naraku, he could fight until his organs were shredded and his flesh burned. But telling a girl – a girl whom he knew reciprocated the feeling – that he loved her… he wasn't able. Kaede had spoken to both Miroku and Sango many times about it, and they all thought that he would have at least kissed her, or declared his love by now. But he hadn't. And now, there was Sesshoumaru…

Kagome sighed, exasperated. Rin had already washed up and eaten, so she grinned, waiting for the miko's response. Kagome told Hina that she would bring Rin in a few minutes, and the girl left. She knew the girl to be just a few months older than herself, but she carried herself as if she were many years older. She hoped Rin would never look like that. Turning, she collected a few things and started off towards the stream.

She saw movement in her peripheral vision, and noticed Sesshoumaru was at her side, startling her.

"Gah! Don't do that!" she cried.

He glanced at her, an eyebrow raised.

"By the way, what _are_ you doing?" she asked him, suspicious.

He looked offended. "Kagome, I will not allow you to bathe alone so close to a village," he explained with a sigh, as if it were obvious.

He took in her angry posture, her flushed face, and her glare, but she didn't reply. He turned back to watch the trail they were following, a look of triumph on his face.

After a quick, cold bath and changing, Kagome came back to their campsite with a youkai in tow. They hadn't spoken; Sesshoumaru was content with the silence and Kagome had too many thoughts on her mind to fill that silence with idle chatter. But when they arrived, Kagome was instantly all smiles again.

"Ready, Rin?" she asked the excited girl.

Rin nodded eagerly, but Kagome could see that she was also nervous. She looked up at Sesshoumaru who was standing slightly behind her, and he seemed to notice the mixed emotions as well. But apparently, he had no idea why she would be nervous, and therefore had no suspicions.

Kagome motioned to Rin, and they padded quickly towards the small kimono shop. Kagome bid greetings to many on the way – they were all happy to see her back after such an absence… and after having to put up with a cranky Inuyasha. Kaede had mentioned to someone once that he became… irrational when Kagome wasn't around, and word had quickly, but quietly, spread.

The people of her village were eerily respectful. Well, they were always respectful, but many had been asked to drop the honorific, and even more had learned to casually joke with the miko. Kagome had almost forgotten Sesshoumaru's presence, but a stealing glance by some of the village people told her what was worrying them. They didn't seem surprised – apparently, word travels quickly. She would have to thank Hina later – but they were wary. It bothered her more than she thought.

Once at the shop, Hina met them along with the owner of the store. Hashi was a calm man. His skill with designing kimono was renowned for miles. He had many helpers, but he often insisted on creating the intricate details himself. He was Hina's brother; twins, although they looked nothing alike. Kagome knew that made them fraternal twins, but that sort of knowledge was a few hundred years off.

He greeted them happily, making sounds of approval at Rin, but disapproval at her condition.

"Tsk, tsk," he said. "This won't do. Such a lovely young lady shouldn't have to walk around in such rags. You should have brought her sooner." He smiled at Kagome.

Kagome grinned back. "Well, we would have brought her sooner, but we ran into a few, er… problems."

Hashi knew all too well the things Kagome did for the growing village, and nodded wisely. "I understand, Lady Kagome. We will outfit her at once."

With a clap of his hands, a few assistants came out to usher Rin inside. She looked back at Kagome, an unsure and pleading look on her face. Kagome only grinned back at her.

Sesshoumaru had remained silent, and now looked to his woman. "And now?"

Kagome placed a hand on his arm, grinning up at him. "Now, I need to visit my friends…"

She saw the different emotions pass through his face. She could only guess - he was deciding what was worse: Staying in a kimono shop, or facing his brother. Instead of making him choose between two things she knew he didn't want, and also feeling a little guilty about it, she embraced him.

Mumbling into his chest, she held him tightly. "Why don't you stay here with Rin? She'll feel better having someone here. If you'd like, you can stay outside. I'll be safe at Kaede's," she told him softly enough that she knew only he would hear.

He inclined his head, letting her know that he would do exactly that.

With a small smile, Kagome left his side, and they both felt the loss immediately. But she was determined to help both Rin and Kohaku find a happier life.

She quickly arrived at Sango and Miroku's home. She called to them, but neither answered. Although someone did.

"Kohaku-kun?" she said, surprised.

"Kagome-chan!" they boy said, coming to embrace her.

Kagome couldn't believe the great luck she was having. This was perfect.

"Kohaku-kun," Kagome said brightly, to not alarm him, "I came with Rin, and she would like to talk to you. But she is having a kimono fitted. Could you perhaps meet her at Hashi's shop in about two hours? I have other things to do while I'm here, and I'm not able to escort her." She gauged his reaction. He only seemed curious, with a hint of excitement. "I… I don't think I'll be able to see her for lunch, either, and we haven't even had breakfast! Oh no! Maybe I should cancel my plans…"

"No, no, Kagome-chan! Don't cancel your plans! I could… I mean, if she doesn't mind, I could provide Rin-chan with something…"

Bingo.

"Are you sure you don't mind, Kohaku-kun? I wouldn't want for you to be burdened…" Kagome said convincingly.

But she saw it in his face, and the way he avoided her eyes. His head was bowed slightly, his shaggy bangs hiding his eyes from her so she couldn't see the happiness.

"It will be my pleasure," he said in a carefully guarded voice.

Pleased, Kagome made it sound like she was grateful that she wouldn't have to cancel on her friends. "Oh, thank you, Kohaku-kun! You're the best!"

She embraced him, and he was finally able to look at her, hoping he would only seem happy to hug a friend. But Kagome knew the truth. He _did_ hold the same feelings as Rin. Well, Rin doesn't need to know. This was going to be great.

From there, Kagome went to find where her favorite married couple had gone. Reaching Kaede's hut, she called out.

"Anyone there?"

Instantly, she felt the thud behind her and knew who it was. She didn't even turn to see. "Inuyasha,"  
she breathed his name barely a whisper on her lips.

And then his arms were around her, holding her tight. For a moment, she relaxed. It had been a while since they were not fighting. But then she began to feel nervous, his hold of her unrelenting. She tried to pull away, but he held fast. "Inuyasha," she said again, but with a warning in her voice.

He knew it all too well, and with a heavy sigh, released her. She smiled as she turned, unable to ruin the mood with an argument. "Where is everyone?"

He wouldn't look at her. He gazed off towards the rice paddies. "Harvesting," was all he managed.

Kagome resisted the urge to 'sit' him. When he was in her presence now, she had to constantly remind herself that he was no longer hers to command. She sighed. "Inuyasha, I have gifts for all of you…"

"I don't need anything from you," he said, still not meeting her gaze.

It was like a slap in the face. It stung just as badly, and he had meant it to hurt. But she had decided, and he wasn't going to stop her now. She had to go through with all of her plans. She asked him to call the others and for them all to meet her in Kaede's home. He acquiesced, and she set up inside, making sure all of the items were still in her little, pink backpack.

She was extremely surprised that Inuyasha had come back before the others, of his own accord. Smiling gently, she patted the space next to her. He hesitated, but obliged. After he was settled, Inuyasha finally looked up at Kagome to find her string at him with a curious smile tugging at her lips. He wasn't sure if he liked that smile – he had seen it before… but when?

Suddenly, she broke the gaze and began to root around in her bag. He remembered what she had said. "There better be ramen in there," he grumbled.

"Better," was all she said, happy to hear his interest.

Truthfully, the ramen had been on the top of everything – their light texture made them breakable, and in order to preserve the noodles, she kept them where they couldn't be crushed as badly. She was merely biding her time. She was anxious, and she wasn't sure if she could do what she was about to do. Especially without help. But if she needed help, the others couldn't be far behind.

Finally steeling her nerves, Kagome came out with a few packages of ramen. He looked taken aback.

"That's it?"

Kagome glared at him, and his ears pinned themselves back against his hair. "My pack isn't what it used to be, Inuyasha. I can't carry as much." She pouted slightly, turning her chin up. "Besides, I remember when you used to yell at me for bringing so much stuff around," she huffed.

"That's because I still had you," he said so quietly she almost didn't hear him. His head was down now, the soft, white triangles drooping and his hair completely shielding him from her stare.

Kagome resisted the urge to sigh. She couldn't help feel like she would never win. When he had had her, he didn't want her. And now that she was someone else's… The reminder of Sesshoumaru, waiting for her dutifully next to the kimono shop, left her feeling anxious and thrilled. She turned to her friend.

"Inuyasha," she said softly.

He turned to her, and quickly, so that he wouldn't have time to hope, she grasped for him. It was now or never. With a firm hold, Kagome closed her eyes, concentrating. Inuyasha looked shocked, unable to move.

"Kagome?" he said, his voice reaching a high note in his fear.

She reached for her power, found it. "Inuyasha…" He looked at her serene face, wondering what had come over her. "I release you."

Understanding came to him as he screamed her name. "Kagome! NO!"

But it could not be undone. In a flash of white light, the subjugation beads she had been holding on to vanished. When it was over, Kagome grinned at him.

"W-why?" he asked, his voice small.

"Inuyasha, I thought you hated those beads. You wanted them off, remember?"

He was about to mumble something about having a connection to her when she interrupted, bringing his brain to a screeching halt.

"Boy, I'm glad it turned out all right. I was really worried…" She laughed uncomfortably.

"You… Weren't… Sure… You… Could… Do it?" he ground out.

Sheepishly, Kagome played with her fingers, making a little steeple with her hands. "Er, well… I was pretty sure I could. But I have never undone a subjugation spell before, even with all that Kaede has taught me…"

Inuyasha was furious. Not only had she taken away the one thing that still connected them, but she didn't even know what she was doing! She could have melted his head!

"What the fuck were you thinking…"

They were interrupted by Miroku's merry laughter and Sango chatting animatedly to Kaede. Shippou was there too; his aura was stronger now that he was older. He was the first to realize.

"Kagome!"

He was a blur of red, next to her in seconds. As he hugged her, tears came to her eyes. She couldn't believe how big he was getting. His speed had been the first thing to catch up with his growing body, although he was nowhere near as fast as Inuyasha. But he was still so little…

Shippou, mistaking the smell of her tears for squeezing her too hard – this was impossible, since his strength had yet to improve – released her, and apologized.

"Kagome, I'm sorry… I didn't mean to hurt you…"

"Oh, Shippou…" was all she managed before crying harder and almost squeezing the life from him. "Shippou, you're growing too fast. Before I know it, you'll be huge and off to find a little vixen. Promise you won't forget me…"

Shippou didn't like the finality in her voice, as if she didn't plan on coming back. "Kagome… you're…"

"Kagome! You're back!" The light, bell-like voice of her best friend chimed in the air as Sango cut Shippou off.

Miroku was close behind, allowing his wife to greet their friend first. The women embraced as Shippou retreated, making a mental note to ask her later.

The women chatted briefly; Sango told Kagome of the recent rice crop and how others were fairing – the village was doing quite well – and Kagome told Sango why she was here. Well, she told her that they had come for a new kimono for Rin, which was the truth… mostly. Then, the miko whispered to her friend that she needed to speak with her privately when they got a chance. The taijiya nodded and stepped back, allowing Miroku and Kaede to greet her as well.

They all began to mill about. The women gabbed as they prepared lunch, and the men sat talking quietly to one another. Kagome's stomach rumbled noisily, a reminder that she hadn't had breakfast. Sango laughed and Kaede chided her for not having eaten. Kagome then remembered the gifts.

She passed around the few things she had for everyone, at peace since things felt normal for once. Until her best friend spoke.

"Miroku? Where's Kohaku? Have you seen him?"

The monk shook his head, his mouth full of soda.

"Ask Kagome. She was the most recent one to see him." Inuyasha's statement was like a blow to the gut for Kagome.

First she gaped in horror – had he seen her? Had he heard their conversation? Did he know their plans? But when he looked at her oddly, as if he had no idea why she was suddenly so shocked, she realized the only thing he knew was that she had seen him. Remembering, Kagome realized she had seen – and hugged – Kohaku right before she ran into Inuyasha. The scent must have still been fresh.

Stupid dog demons and their stupid noses.

Turning to Sango, Kagome gave her a pleading smile. "Remember that I wanted to talk to you?" she whispered.

A look of comprehension crossed the demon slayer's face, and she nodded, smiling gently. "Why don't we go now? I'm sure Kaede-sama can handle it…"

They looked to the elderly miko, who nodded her approval with a smile. Eagerly, they stepped outside, telling the men not to eavesdrop – it was girl-talk anyway, Kagome added.

Once they were a good distance away from the hut, Sango began. Kagome tried to think of the timing – if she were correct, Kohaku should be at the kimono shop right now.

"So, what's going on?" Sango asked, a curious smile in her eyes.

"Well, I wanted to get your permission, since he's your brother and all, and because I don't think he would think to ask, since Kohaku doesn't think the way we do…"

"What are you talking about?" Sango had a dangerous but worried look to her.

"It's nothing serious, Sango. I just wanted to let you know what's going on."

The taijiya looked on, concerned. Kagome decided it was safe to continue.

"When I was healing, I did a lot of bonding with Rin. She admitted that she has feelings for your brother-" She paused to gauge her friend's reaction, but there was no distress, so she continued "- and a while ago, I asked Kohaku to take her to lunch. It seems he returns those feelings."

After a long time holding her breath, Sango spoke, allowing Kagome to breathe again.

"Wow. I guess he's… growing up."

It was so quiet and sad-sounding that Kagome wanted to wrap her arms around her friend. But before she could move, Sango's expression changed. A small smile graced her beautiful face, and a giggle escaped her lips.

"I'm so glad. I was worried. He… still has scars, you know. We all do. But his are worse than most of us. He deserves to be happy…"

Kagome smiled wide. Years ago, Sango would not have trusted Rin, or by extension, Sesshoumaru, with her brother. But this new Sango, after a few years of being happily married and living a life she never thought she could have, had room in her heart still. But Sango turned serious again, determination creeping into her expression.

"Plus, I still owe Sesshoumaru – and Rin – my life. It's the least I can do."

Kagome remembered, as she was sure Sango was doing the same, that final battle with Naraku, when he turned Sango against Rin. He was trying to split them all up, pitting them all against each other. He had been counting on Sesshoumaru's cruel ways and shrewd mind. But Sesshoumaru had already begun to change before that, and no real harm had been done. Why did everything always lead back to Naraku? Could she never be rid of the memories? It seemed like he still had a grasp on everyone's lives…

Putting an arm around her friend's shoulders, Kagome turned her so that they were walking back to where everyone was waiting.

"Now I just have to work on Sesshoumaru…" Kagome said to herself quietly.

Sango turned to her, anxious. "You mean… Sesshoumaru doesn't know?"

"No, I haven't said anything. Daddy's little girl and all… But I'm going to tell him as soon as I go back to him. I just wanted to tell you first. But don't worry. Sesshoumaru's a big softy…" She chuckled at this, knowing the old Sesshoumaru would have her head for such a comment.

To her surprise, Sango laughed too. "Yeah, about that…"

Kagome rolled her eyes, knowing what was coming.

"How did this happen? I mean… I know how. You told us that he's not the same. But… Sesshoumaru? The only way you could have stunned us more is if you had been in love with Kouga," she laughed.

Kagome chuckled as well. "I know, it seems surreal. But… He's actually very caring and understanding. He anticipates my needs even before I know what they are. He doesn't keep things from me; he talks to me. And most importantly, he _tells_ me he needs me."

She was smiling wistfully, and when she turned to her friend, Sango almost looked like she was going to cry.

"W-what?" Kagome said, worried now.

"Kagome, I'm so sorry about what we did. Now I realize you were just in love. And it sounds wonderful. _He_ sounds wonderful. I'm sorry I ever doubted you…"

Tears waiting to be released on both sides, the girls embraced. They sobbed into each other's hair, holding the other tight.

"Oh, come on," they heard from in front of them. They didn't bother looking up. They knew the hanyou would come eventually.

""Ssh… wait, Inuyasha. I want to see where this goes…"

Both girls looked up to glare as much as they could muster after one has been crying at the lecherous monk. He grinned, unabashed.

"Are you guys okay?" The one voice of reason , they turned their red eyes on Shippou.

"Yeah, we're okay now, Shippou," Sango answered, wiping her face with a sleeve.

"Thanks for being the sane one," Kagome giggled between her breath hitching in her throat.

"Okay, can we go now? I'm starved," Inuyasha announced.

With that, they all turned back towards Kaede's home.

"Inuyasha…" Sango said after a few minutes.

They all looked to her, wondering what she was thinking. There was a curious tone in her voice.

"Where are your Kotodama no Nenji?"

--END CHAPTER--

E/N: If you're interested in seeing the SessKag pic my friend drew, copy and paste this address - please read this carefully, FFN doesn't let us post full web addresses - www(dot)ailionora.(deviantartDOTcom)/art/SesshyxKags-Commish-83921487 BTW, I'm sorry this chapter got a little off track – everything in here was necessary to the story. There will be more SessKag-iness in the next chapter, gringrin.

_Kotodama no Nenji_ was the necklace with the subjugation spell. I hate calling it a necklace, and I daren't call it a rosary (ew), so I opted for the actual Japanese term, since it really is what they're speaking, lol.


	8. VIII

**A/N**: _Don't forget – (&) will mark the beginning/end of a dream or flashback, depending on the situation_. LOLWhut? Sango and Miroku already have 3 kids by now? Kagome didn't stay after Naraku was defeated? I have no idea what you mean… gringrin Lalala…

SO SORRY this took so long. To be perfectly honest, I just hadn't felt like writing. I actually forced myself to a couple of times, and if any part of this chapter is crappy, that's probably the forced part, lol. Also, I had been waiting to see how Inuyasha turned out, so that was the problem in the beginning.

I'd also like to apologize: I'm not answering any of the reviews from MediaMiner. Not your faults, it just takes a while and that keeps me from posting this that much longer. So instead, I just want to give a big THANK YOU! to everyone that's still interested in this and was patiently waiting. I want to especially thank those that emailed me personally to tell me how much they love one story or another. Thanks everyone, and enjoy!

For anyone that is interested: I'm a moderator over at Inuyasha-fanfiction(dot)com under the name PitaBread, and it's a great source for IY-based fanfics. It's a great community, really friendly. Come check us out! /shameless plug lulz

That's the Way Love Goes

Chapter VIII

No one prodded Inuyasha for answers. After Sango's question, Inuyasha had growled and leapt away, not returning to the hut. Kagome had looked upset, too, so they let the two of them be. They were sitting quietly with their mouths full of food when a young voice piped up.

"He's upset 'cuz you released him, isn't he?"

Kagome almost choked on her rice. The kitsune had always been the most intuitive one, so she shouldn't have been surprised, but it still hurt to hear it out loud. In the years that she had known Inuyasha, she had finally been the one to hurt him. Offhandedly, she wondered if he ever felt this bad all the times he had run off to see Kikyou.

Sango, Kaede, and Miroku looked to Kagome, but they didn't seem too shocked, as if they had already guessed where this was going.

"Kagome, did you really release him? It's a wonder he hasn't torn down the forest…" Miroku was looking worriedly out a window at the forest beyond.

"What should it matter?" Sango chimed. "He hated that spell…"

"Well, it proves to him that she really loves Sesshoumaru now," Shippou explained wisely.

A tear slid down Kagome's face, and the kit cuddled next to her. Sango, her expression a look of pure revelation, reached for her hand. The mood had turned even darker than it had been a few minutes ago.

"Well, child, I'm glad you were able to return the spell without killing either of you," Kaede said strongly, not turning her eyes from her food.

Remembering his astonishment, Kagome chuckled. Miroku, knowing how difficult removing such a spell was, joined her. Then Sango and Kaede began to add their own laughter. Shippou didn't realize what they were laughing at, but it was contagious, and he found himself doubled over as well.

After a few minutes, they began to calm, and Kagome told them what happened when she released him. She skimmed over the heavy part – Inuyasha realizing what she was doing and pleading for her to stop – but she emphasized his reaction to her ignorance. They all howled with laughter, and then they all rolled around on the floor when Inuyasha walked into the hut, scowling.

"What the hell's so damned funny?"

They struggled to breathe.

"What the… HEY! What the fuck is going on here?"

He had to resort to crossing his arms and waiting, because no one would talk; rather, they couldn't talk.

Kagome controlled herself first. "Oh, Inuyasha, it was just a joke. Don't get all huffy."

"I am NOT huffy," he said, recrossing his arms and turning away like a petulant child.

"Inuyasha, be grateful you have those arms, as you might have lost them today," Miroku goaded, and they all roared in laughter again.

"You guys are fucking crazy, you know that?" Inuyasha was upset that he didn't get whatever joke they had made, and the fact that it seemed to be about him didn't help his mood. "I think all those years of breathing in poison rotted your brains or somethin'…" He rapped Shippou on the head to prove his point.

The young demon glared at Inuyasha, holding the spot where the hanyou had hit him. "Hey!" he protested. "I think you've inhaled more miasma than I have."

The laughter quieted slowly, and soon they were having a normal conversation, all together like it used to be, and Kagome felt her heart warm with familiarity.

--

Kohaku had arrived at the Kimono shop just before Rin came out. He had arrived nervously, looking around for her guardian. Apparently, he was not around. Then Rin appeared, and he forgot all else. She was beaming, and the first thing he noticed was how tattered and small her kimono was. The second thing he noticed was that she wore her hair down now, and for some reason, she reminded him of Kagome.

"Kohaku-kun!" She skipped towards him, happy to see the man of her affections.

She embraced him, and he was surprised at first, frozen in place. A few seconds later, Rin remembered that they were not children anymore and began to step back, her cheeks rosy with embarrassment.

"I'm… I-I'm sorry, Kohaku-kun. I just haven't seen you in such a very long time…"

He snapped out of it, hearing the dismay in her voice. "No! I mean, it's ok, Rin-chan. I was just surprised. It's has been a long time. And what's more, you look so different! Your hair looks great…" He blushed, and tried to recover, failed. "I mean, it's different… but in a good way… And I can see why you had to come for a new kimono…" He brought a hand to his face, attempting to hide his consternation. "Not that it doesn't suit you, it's just that…"

Rin was amused by his sudden awkwardness. Usually, Kohaku was one of the most cool-headed, level people she knew, not unlike Sesshoumaru. She decided to save him from himself. She brought a hand to his wrist, prying his hand away from his face. He tried to pull it back, but he also enjoyed her touch, so he let her guide him. Her hand lingered on his skin for what he felt was a little longer than necessary, and his heart soared with hope.

"Rin-chan…" He gazed upon her beautiful, tanned face, hoping she wouldn't mind him providing lunch for her.

She smiled gracefully. "Call me Rin," she said.

He looked shocked. "Is… is that… okay?"

He almost whispered the words, and Rin furrowed her brow, wondering why he sounded cautious. When she saw him nervously glance around, she understood. She sighed, wondering why everyone seemed to walk on eggshells around her Sesshoumaru-sama. And anyways, this was Kohaku! He had been to hell with Sesshoumaru, and traveled with them for many weeks!

"Don't worry about Sesshoumaru-sama," she told him. "He cannot rule me," she said rebelliously.

_Maybe he can't do anything to you, but me… that's another story…_ Kohaku almost rolled his eyes. "Well, if I may call you 'Rin'…" It was odd coming from his mouth. He almost added the honorific out of habit. "Then will you call me Kohaku?"

"Hai," she said, smiling that beautiful smile.

He returned the grin, and then remembered why he was here when his own stomach grumbled.

Hesitating again, he began to explain. "Rin… Kagome-chan isn't coming. She's with my sister. But she asked if I may take her place. Will that be all right with you?"

Rin beamed. Kagome had sent him, and he had no idea! "I would love that," she told him. Then she frowned a little, dashing his hopes temporarily. "But I must be back in one hour. Hashi-sama will be angry if I am not back in time for the final fitting…"

"I will have you back by then," he told her, offering his arm.

She took it, and they walked off in search of a meal.

--

After spending a few hours with Inuyasha and her other friends, Kagome was more than ready to go home. Sango fighting with Miroku, Shippou and Inuyasha taunting each other… She missed the peace and quiet she had with Sesshoumaru, Rin, and even Jaken.

"I've gotta go," she announced suddenly, stopping the quarrels on both sides of the room.

She stood, reaching for her pink backpack. Sango stood as well, wanting to walk with her wherever she was going. Miroku opted to stay behind, and Shippou was already yawning his 'goodbye'. He and Kirara curled up on a mat as Inuyasha stood silently to accompany her as well. The girl hugged Miroku, then bid the elder miko farewell.

She didn't question Inuyasha, but she had an awful sense of foreboding. Should she ask him to stay here? Resigned, she chatted with the taijiya as they made their way to the kimono shop.

"I'm going to get Sesshoumaru first – I'm sure he wants to see Rin as soon as the kimono is done," she said, using her peripheral vision to glance at Inuyasha to gauge his reaction.

There was none; either he had learned to mask his emotions like his brother, or he hadn't heard.

"Do you know what the kimono will look like?" Sango asked.

"No… Hashi will surprise us. But I trust him. He has a sense for these things. But I believe he's making a few of them, since she won't be growing much more from now on," Kagome explained.

"Oh," Sango said. Then… "OH!" You mean… she's…"

Kagome nodded, a tiny smile tugging at her lips.

"Aww… she's getting so big. No wonder she's interested in Kohaku…"

Again, Kagome nodded, her smirk turning into a grin. She turned to Inuyasha, wondering what he thought. But he was silent, and seemed to be thinking. That was never good. With a sigh, the three travelled silently until they arrived at the shop.

--

He had some options. He could hunt. Or sleep. Or hunt. Or sleep… Sighing, Sesshoumaru wondered if it had been a good idea to stay near Rin. He was restless and nervous with Kagome gone. Perhaps he should go to her… No, she had known it would be best to stay, and so she had suggested it, allowing him the comfort of being alone. But… he didn't want to be alone.

_Clever, bewitching mikos_, he thought. Although now that he thought about it, he didn't know any other mikos to compare her to. Or… did he? Well, there was Inuyasha's first mate. The one Kagome had been forced to endure second place to. With a snarl, Sesshoumaru remembered the pain in Kagome's voice when she had spoken of the first time she saw Inuyasha and Kikyou together. It had been so cruel. And then, the undead miko had kept her silent and invisible as she made Inuyasha promise to die with her…

Shaking his head, Sesshoumaru knew he was in no condition to hunt. It would be doubly productive to engage in some other activity. What was that other choice again? Oh, yes. Sleep…

This time, however, the dreams were insistent, demanding that he remember his past. They tormented him with flashes of his cruel nature and murderous deeds but also of the gallant and noble things he had done. He hardly saw a whole scene – they were just pieces – just enough to make him fit his life together like a puzzle, almost complete, although they were in no semblance of order.

&

-Running through Hell, an enormous beast in front of him and a boy – the same boy from another dream – running with him. They're searching for a way out before Rin…

-Turning his back on his brother after learning Tenseiga and Tessaiga's secret…

-Sitting atop a huge Ogre and cutting it to make it attack Inuyasha…

-Flying through the air in his natural form, with his – apparently – Mother by his side…

-Putting a few fingers into Inuyasha's eye, pulling out a black pearl…

-Rin is dead, his mother bringing her back with an amulet because he was desperate…

-Fighting his brother and Naraku both in Fathers' graveyard…

-Watching Inuyasha come to defend him after Magatsuhi pierced through him…

-Using the Saimiyoushou against Kagome's friend, the monk…

-Saving Rin from the monks that tried to take her away…

-Walking through a crowd of humans and striking down each one in his path…

-Watching a demoness that smelled of Naraku die…

-Lurching towards Kagome to kill her for shooting an arrow at him…

-Searching for Rin within Naraku…

-Sending a roaring wave from Bakusaiga straight into Naraku, dissolving most of him…

-Watching Kagome shoot Naraku and the Jewel, finally disposing of the hanyou…

-Kagome's friend, the taijiya; telling him that he can take her life when 'this' is over…

T-he feeling of having his arm grow back and holding the most powerful sword to ever exist…

-Using a human arm to steal his brothers' sword and then putting his arm through Inuyasha's chest…

-The old sword smith youkai giving his sword a name…

&

Sesshoumaru woke with a start, something that was becoming too familiar and very uncomfortable. But on the other hand, he remembered so much more of his past. He remembered his mother now, and how cold she was. He wondered if his father had been like that as well, since he didn't yet remember him. But he did know of his resting place, now. The most disturbing, recurring fact was that he had tried to kill Kagome and Inuyasha both so many times. But he had saved Rin just as many times.

He was dizzy with the swirling memories, trying to fit them in their proper time and place when he heard footsteps. He knew the light, shuffling falls of Kagome's odd shoes. Apparently she had two others with her – by the smell of things, his brother, and the demonslayer, whose name he couldn't recall at the moment. He didn't lift his head; he was holding it with one hand, and the other gripped his kimono.

He heard Kagome's steps increase – he really hadn't wanted to worry her – and damned his timing. Couldn't he have awoken a few minutes earlier? In a few seconds, Kagome was kneeling next to him, a hand on his shoulder. It was ridiculous that a simple touch from her could make him feel so comforted…

Wait… What? Ridiculous? Since when had he thought anything about Kagome ridiculous – besides her often-indecency? He scowled hard, and almost felt the urge to skitter away from her touch. For some odd reason, it no longer brought reassurance; the feeling that replaced it was new, yet felt old. He could not name it, but he didn't like it.

"Sesshoumaru, daijoubou?"

She sounded so concerned, but he felt like he didn't care as much as he should. She shook him a little as she asked again. It was irritating how she repeated questions. She asked again, this time leaning closer to his face. It also irked him that she felt he must answer her before she left him alone. When she whimpered his name, he finally snapped.

"WHAT? You insufferable woman!" His eyes blazed crimson, a sure sign of his level of anger, and he bared his fangs at her, something he had never done since he had 'changed'.

Kagome rocked back on her legs in shock and recalled her hand, and Inuyasha held Sango back. The hanyou held a scowl on his face, but there was no surprise there. The demonslayer was prepared to fight for her friend, but Inuyasha knew that even Sango had no chance against the Taiyoukai. He bitterly fought the urge to say, 'I told you so…'

"I…" Kagome was stupefied. She didn't know what to think, to say… She thought she was going to cry.

Sesshoumaru slumped back against the tree, holding his face in his hand once more. Why was he attacking her, the woman he loved? The woman he loved…

His mind was fighting something. Whether it was to remember, or forget, he couldn't be sure. But it felt familiar, like a part of his dreams. He saw wavy brown hair and elegant curves. Alluring eyes that were crimson, unlike the bright blue he had become accustomed to. And then…

He remembered another woman, this one a demoness that controlled the very wind. _Kagura_, his mind supplied. He recalled her asking him to help free her, and remembered how she rebelled against the creature that made her – Naraku. He brought to mind how he felt when he scented her, alone and dying. And he had arrived in time to watch her go, carried away by her very essence. And he thought of how he promised himself that she would not have died in vain. After all, it was her disobedience and giving him Naraku's secrets that had finally pushed the filthy hanyou to finish her.

He _had_ loved before.

But she was long gone, much like Inuyasha's first love, Kikyou. And now – just like Inuyasha – he cared for Kagome.

That's right… He loved – why was the word staggering across his mind, as if he had ill-use of the word? -Kagome.

Steeling himself and getting a hold on his unbridled youki, he looked up at the miko. She seemed as if she was about to cry. It softened his eyes, something she noticed immediately.

"This Sesshoumaru apologizes," he told her, inclining his head. "I meant you no harm, Kagome. I had been sleeping…"

He trailed off, and Kagome both heard the pain in his voice and saw the grief in his again-golden eyes. She began to smile, and wrapped her arms around his neck before he knew what happened. She buried her face in the crook of his neck, placing a small kiss that both soothed his still-confused youki and stirred it in arousal. It suddenly recognized her and cared about nothing else. He rumbled his affection, and she giggled as he pulled her into his lap. They both heard Inuyasha huff in annoyance.

"Oh, for fuck's sake…" He began to turn away and a flabbergasted Sango looked between the hanyou and the couple.

"Oh, Inuyasha, please come back," Kagome said, fighting a smile.

"And do watch your language in the presence of ladies," Sesshoumaru added coolly, still nuzzling the top of the priestess' head.

"Keh. I don't see any ladies," Inuyasha scoffed.

It had been a biting remark directed at Kagome, but he had forgotten Sango in his haste. Sesshoumaru's growl was unnecessary, as Sango victoriously doubled the hanyou over with a punch to his stomach.

"Damn it… Sango…" Inuyasha wheezed.

The taijiya huffed, crossing her arms.

Kagome smiled at the familiar scene and turned back to her youkai. "Everything okay now?" she asked, afraid of his answer.

"I believe it is so," he said cryptically.

"Will you tell me?"

Sesshoumaru knew what she wanted. As much as he would like to spare her, however, he could not deny her. "Yes."

She only nodded her head and let it rest once more against his creamy skin. She thought his pulse was racing, but she assumed it was an after-effect of his 'nightmare'. She snuggled deeper into the curve of his body, and she shivered from the prideful growl that emanated from him.

Suddenly, with a quick kiss, Kagome jumped up. "Right!" she said, cheery once more.

They all looked at her, but none were surprised. Coming from the Queen of Mood Swings, this was minor.

"I'm gettin' the hell outta here," Inuyasha said, grumbling as he turned and began to leave again.

Kagome pleaded with him. "Hold on a second, Inuyasha!"

He visibly slumped as he turned slowly. Sesshoumaru thought it odd that his brother should still acquiesce to her wishes; he was probably still in love with her. He stood gracefully to place himself protectively at the miko's side.

"Well, I guess we'll see you in five days' time?" Sango asked.

"Oh, don't go yet, Sango!" Kagome said. "I was going to wait for…" She trailed off, not wanting to quite spill the beans yet.

Sango smirked. She had the feeling she knew what Kagome wanted. "Ok, just a little longer. If you don't mind, I'm going to go inside. I haven't talked to Hashi in some time. I think I'm going to need a new kimono soon…" She grinned broadly.

Kagome only nodded at first, something else on her mind. But then she caught on, a panicked excitement creeping into her voice. "Hold on a second… Sango, are you…? You and Miroku are…"

Sango's smile widened impossibly, and as Kagome ran forward to hug her friend, their squealing and laughing repelled Inuyasha.

"Gah! What the hell are you two so damned happy about?" he growled.

"The taijiya is with child," Sesshoumaru said blandly, tilting his head ever so slightly.

Inuyasha's amber eyes widened with surprise and turned to Sango. "You are? But I didn't sense…" He turned back to Sesshoumaru, expecting criticism or even a smug look, but there was none. Just curiosity.

"Yes!" Sango said brightly. "You're going to be an uncle, Inuyasha."

"An… uncle?" Inuyasha looked stunned. He loved his friends, but he didn't think they considered him as family.

"Of course," Kagome laughed. "I guess I'm an aunt?" she asked Sango animatedly.

Sango nodded, and the two began chatting excitedly. Inuyasha was still frozen in place, and Sesshoumaru watched him. He knew his brother had never had much of a family – partially his own fault – and this concept was probably going to take some time getting used to.

"Well, go get fitted, Sango. I'll see you soon," Kagome giggled. She turned back to her youkai, taking his arm. Can I speak with you, Uncle Sesshoumaru?"

He knew it was rude to gape, but he couldn't help it. Was she including him in their little family? After all he'd done… after all he'd put them through? He had almost killed the demonslayer and her husband several times. Then again, according to his dreams – _memories_, his subconscious reminded him – he had tried to kill all of them several times, Kagome and Inuyasha included.

He watched as the hanyou escorted Sango inside the shop and heard more excitement inside. Kagome led him to the river, where they sat under a tree. After a few minutes of silence, Sesshoumaru broke the silence.

"What is it you wanted to speak to me about?" he asked.

Kagome smiled. "Will you tell me about your dreams?"

He smirked. "Is that what this is about?"

"No," she admitted. "But I'm not letting you off the hook."

"Then I shall tell you first," he said.

Kagome was surprised. She hadn't thought he would concede so easily. Perhaps he was coming to terms with his former self?

He was silent for a few moments, but soon he leveled her with an intense gaze. She almost shrank back in fear, but realized he wasn't angry at her, just at the memories. Then, he spoke.

"They are more urgent now," he told her with an angry, caramel glare that looked past her into the distance.

"Urgent?" she repeated.

"Hn." He continued to stare at the horizon. "I saw many good things, and even more evil things I had done. I tried to kill you…" His hands shook as he stared at them, as if he wondered why they trembled of their own accord.

The regret in his voice was palpable. Kagome wanted to cry and laugh at the same time. This was why he was so upset?

"Well, you understand why I was cautious when I woke up in your camp," she giggled. "But we've all put it past us. We had seen you become more-" she tried to look for the right word here, as to not offend him, "- _forgiving_ a little at a time, but you were never our enemy. We fought against a common enemy. Without you, we could have never succeeded," she told him gently, placing a hand on his arm.

"Naraku," he snarled, his expression one of distaste.

Kagome nodded; the hanyou's name left a bad taste in her mouth as well.

"I… I put my hand through Inuyasha's stomach. I pulled out his eye. I turned my back on him so many times…"

Kagome nodded again, but subtly. "Yes. But you also saved him several times. Remember when you were in the Meidou together? You saved him…"

"Only because had I not, I would have perished as well. In fact, now that I remember clearer, I was disappearing first."

Kagome gasped; he hadn't told her that before.

"I was merely ensuring my own safety." He knew this was false, as he could hear his thoughts in the dream. But he was trying to prove a point.

Kagome looked a little down, but she refused to let it continue. "Inside Naraku, when Magatsuhi possessed Inuyasha, you demanded he leave your brother…"

"And then he tried to possess _you_," he growled domineeringly.

"But you stopped him," she interjected.

"Inuyasha stopped it," Sesshoumaru corrected her.

"But you're the one who killed Magatsuhi, the evil spirit of the Shikon no Tama," she argued.

Sesshoumaru sighed. "Stubborn woman. Why do you continue to quarrel?"

Kagome collected herself. "Because you killed Magatsuhi, I was able to get my powers back. And they came back tenfold. I will forever be grateful."

She was so serene in the moment, he didn't dispute her. He knew it to be the truth as well. Calling on his memories, he remembered the heavy waves of spiritual power that filled the area when he had finished off Magatsuhi.

Kagome looked pensive. "You know," she said, suddenly grabbing his attention, "I never got to say thank you…"

Sesshoumaru lifted an eyebrow in response. "Oh?"

"Yes. I turned around to thank you, after Inuyasha caught me, and you were gone."

Sesshoumaru probed his thoughts. "Ah," he said after a minute.

Now it was Kagome's turn to look at him askance. "Elaborate this 'ah', please."

"Magatsuhi was not just holding your powers in. He was also masking everyone's scent. Including Rin's," he told her.

Kagome's eyes went wide with the revelation. "Oh! You had been searching for Rin! And you hadn't been able to find her?"

Sesshoumaru shook his head minutely. "Without her scent, I was helpless. But with that spirit gone, I picked up her scent and followed it immediately."

"Oh, I get it! You left because you smelled her and were desperate." She laughed. "Well, I forgive you, then."

He smirked at her. "How gracious of you."

"Did you find her?"

He scowled and turned away, and Kagome wondered what had caused this. Of course he had found her, because she was alive and well. So why was he so upset?

"Yes." The seconds ticked by, and finally he spoke again. "But I was not the first to find her."

She watched his eyes harden and he clenched his teeth, and she was reminded of the many times Inuyasha did that when he was thinking of Naraku's foul deeds.

"Naraku had taken her, right?" she began, hoping he would pick it up from there.

He nodded. "It was a mere puppet, a distraction. But the Rin he held was real."

His eyes had a faraway look again as he tried to recall his own memories. But he was reluctant to continue. The taijiya had obviously not told them of the story. He hesitated, but he knew his Kagome was stubborn; she would not let this go until she got to the bottom of it.

"The first to come upon Naraku's illusion was the demonslayer."

"Kohaku?" she said, unbelieving.

He narrowed his eyes at her. She felt sheepish, yet her astonishment allowed her to speak.

"Sango?" she gasped.

"Naraku had been torturing her, telling her lies and trying to trick her into killing Rin. He had a fake Jewel to go with the fake body, and attempted to make her cut through the child in order to kill him. She was going to go through with it."

Kagome stared at him. "But… all those times he's tricked us… how did she not know it was a trick?"

"I believe she was desperate to save the houshi," he replied.

It all fell into place as she recalled that last stand. Miroku had also been driven desperate by opening the kazaana, unable to hear Inuyasha or herself as they cried for him to stop. Luckily, Inuyasha had gotten to him in time. And then, Naraku had said something about Sango…

&

She shot an arrow of purification at the illusion of Naraku, attempting to dispel it. Unfortunately, it didn't vanish.

"It… didn't disappear?!" she cried.

"Ku ku ku…" the fake Naraku laughed. "I will not disappear. Not until the monk is killed. And not until Sango does a certain something to save him…"

&

It all made sense now. He had separated the lovers and – knowing that they would do anything to save the other – used them to try to bring about each other's destruction. Surely, Naraku had known that if he could get the dying Miroku to open his void, not only would it split open and suck its' owner in, but his comrades as well. And Sango… she had been so desperate to save Miroku that she would have sacrificed little Rin's life to save not only her fiancé's life, but all of theirs.

Kagome felt a tiny bubble of anger well up inside of her. How dare that Naraku use his friends in such a way! And trying to kill Rin! She wished Naraku was alive again, just so she could purify his ass.

"She was repentive, but I remember feeling admiration for her in a way; she was not pleading for her life. Although she had asked me to refrain from killing her until the monk's life was assured…" He looked at Kagome. She was still fired up. "I never planned to take her life. I could not expect a mere human to realize it was an illusion. Perhaps, had it been one of your group, I would have been ready to sacrifice as well," he told her somberly.

This sobered Kagome. _He had changed so much already by the time we defeated Naraku_, she thought. _The younger Sesshoumaru would have killed Sango without another thought for endangering Rin_.

"Also, the boy -" he still couldn't recall his name, "- caught Rin as she fell from Naraku's grasp. I was within hearing distance, but would never have arrived in time."

"Kohaku-kun?" She brightened at the mention of him. She had a chance.

"Yes, Kohaku. I had forgotten…" Now, little flashes of Kohaku – speaking with him, watching him float away on Kagura's feather, fighting alongside him, fighting against him, saving Rin, riding atop Ah-Un with his other subjects – ran through his head. "He once… traveled with us…"

"Yes," Kagome said with a smile. "Sango didn't understand and didn't like it, but she understands now."

He seemed to be straightening out his thoughts, so Kagome gave him some time to think. Then…

"Sesshoumaru?"

He didn't like the tone in her voice. It sounded like she was going to ask for something, and she knew he wasn't going to like it. But he looked up at her and waited to hear what she wanted. "Hn?"

"Do you know if the younger you had planned on taking Rin to a village, or if you intended to keep her with you?" She seemed embarrassed by the question.

It was an odd question, but so far, no harm done. "I had planned to let her choose her own fate."

"No matter what?"

Where was this going? He narrowed his eyes at her. "Hn. As long as it did not endanger her well-being, yes."

_A proud father_, she thought.

"Why do you ask?" he asked, demandingly curious.

She knew she had to steel herself. But the way to Sesshoumaru's heart was not by force. "Did you know that Rin is growing up?"

What a ridiculous question! "Of course," he mocked. "She is human, and that is what you do."

Kagome rolled her eyes. She knew of a few inuyoukai that could use some growing-up. "No. I mean… she's becoming a woman."

She tried to be blunt, but it seemed that he didn't understand. Perhaps demon women didn't have periods? Or maybe theirs was different? She watched him try to think it through.

"Do you mean to tell me that she was not female before today?"

Kagome grit her teeth and clenched her fists in frustration. Really, she knew Sesshoumaru to be one of the smartest people she knew. But approach the subject of girls…

Relaxing, she sighed. "No. I mean, she is getting to the time in her life where she can marry."

Comprehension dawned on the Taiyoukai. "Oh," he said, his eyes widening in a rare display of dawning comprehension.

"And have children," she added craftily.

"Oh." His voice was like diamond, now; hard and unyielding. He felt something was amiss. Through narrowed, golden eyes, he glared at her. "Should I be expecting Rin to have children?"

"Oh, no!" she recovered, still shaken from his stare. "Well, I don't think so…"

He began to rise, and Kagome didn't like how that looked. She grabbed on to his hakama.

"P-please… she would hate you if you did anything to him," she begged.

He raised an angry eyebrow. "There is already a 'him'?"

Kagome nodded, unsure if she should tell him. She decided to take her chances. He wouldn't kill the boy if she pleaded, would he? "Kohaku-kun," she said quietly.

"Where?" he asked, looking around.

It was so ridiculous, she laughed. "No, Sesshoumaru. It is Kohaku."

Again, he was enlightened. "Oh," was all he said. He began to sit again. She saw him frown, the perfect skin of his forehead crinkling slightly.

Kagome gave him a moment before delving in. "I don't know yet, but they may be in love," she told him gently.

His eyes snapped to hers. "Rin has told you this?" He looked anxious and angry, his hand trembling ever so slightly.

"She was the one who brought it up, Sesshoumaru. I only arranged a meeting once I asked Kohaku as well." She could tell that only his centuries of discipline were holding his self-control together.

"They are alone together?" He practically growled out the question.

She sighed, hoping he wouldn't charge off in a murderous rampage. "Yes. He is providing her with lunch, since we were all too busy."

"Hn," was his only reply as he looked at her dubiously. He had not been busy. If the circumstances were different, he probably would have been the person she sought. Was she really able to care for herself now? When had this happened?

After a few moments, he spoke again. "Do you know if he loves her?"

There was a harsh tone to his surprising question, but Kagome knew her answer. "Yes. I am not sure which loves the other the most," she said, remembering how each spoke of the other. She could see that the shaking had subsided.

After a full minute, he finally spoke again. "Then that is all that matters," he said, his voice becoming gentle.

He stared off into that interesting horizon once more, his posture relaxing. "I already know he can protect her, and he is strong-willed."

"He just came back from a farm where he learned to provide," Kagome said, beaming with pride over his hard work and determination.

"Then he has all he needs to take care of her. Any father would be proud to hand over a daughter to such a young man. But even if he could not provide or protect her, it is more important that he care for her," he said.

Briefly, a crimson-eyed, feather-riding woman crossed his mind. Sometimes, love was not enough. Sometimes they needed to be protected. He looked again at Kagome. She needed to be protected as well. Was he strong enough to do it? Would someone have to protect her from him one day? The thought made him nervous, and he closed his eyes.

"Then they will be very happy together," Kagome said, oblivious to his darkened thoughts. She moved closer to him to lean on him.

They stayed like that for some time, each thinking their own thoughts and contemplating the others' words. Until Sesshoumaru remembered something.

"What was it that you had to speak to me so urgently about?"

"That was it," she told him, grinning.

"That Kohaku and Rin were in love? That was what you were so nervous about?"

Kagome laughed. "Yep. I didn't know how you were going to take it."

"Hn. You underestimate me," he said dryly.

"No," she retorted. "Had I thought you were going to actually act upon it, I wouldn't have told you."

"Hn. I would have found out," he told her.

"Mm. Yes. But I would have given them a head start…"

He smirked. "Now you underestimate my speed…"

--

It felt like only a few minutes, but after three-quarters of an hour, Sesshoumaru tensed. Kagome looked up at him and saw him scanning, listening. She knew that he was aware that she was awaiting an answer. The miko waited patiently for him to say something. After a few moments of deliberation, he spoke.

"They are returning. They… had fun."

Kagome's eyes narrowed with suspicion. "Define _fun_," she said in a tone that made the youkai chuckle.

"I thought I was the one everyone was worried about," he said smugly, pulling Kagome into his lap and enjoying her sharp intake of breath.

He gazed into her eyes, and she was butter. How ironic that his eyes were that same color.

"They ate, laughed, and she danced in the field."

Kagome was frozen in place, unable to look away from him. Finally, something clicked and she noticed that he had answered her question. "Oh," was all she could manage.

"Ugh, could you do that where I can't see?" She suddenly heard a familiar, disgusted voice behind her.

She looked behind her to find Inuyasha coming from inside the tailor's shop. She smiled, but Inuyasha did not return the gesture. She understood, then. Even if Inuyasha accepted it, he would never be okay with it. With an exasperated sigh, she began to climb away from Sesshoumaru. But the demon was not about to let his brothers' contempt ruin his moment with Kagome. He growled softly to let her know of his displeasure and kept her firmly locked in his grasp.

Kagome understood, but she would have many more of these moments with her Taiyoukai, and none of them should involve Inuyasha. She looked back to her friend and saw the hurt in his eyes, despite the fact that he was scowling.

Turning back to Sesshoumaru, she caressed his face gently, running a finger along one of the brilliant stripes there. He seemed to melt under her touch. With a small smile, she stood, and he allowed her to go.

"Inuyasha," she said, waiting for a response. She got none, although his scowl wasn't as fierce anymore. Not ready to let him foul her mood, she continued. "Rin and Kohaku will be here soon. Will you tell Sango?"

He didn't answer. Instead, he turned and went back inside to do as she asked.

Again, Kagome sighed, frustrated. She felt a pair of arms wind around her waist and sunk into them. Sesshoumaru bent his head to kiss her neck, and then whispered in her ear.

"There is nothing you can do to ease his pain. The best you can do is to act normal; it will help him stabilize."

Kagome nodded, although it wasn't what she wanted to hear. She wanted to help Inuyasha, and acting 'normal' just didn't seem to be what was best.

What was best?

For whom?

Sure, she would feel better if she tried to help him return to normal. But… their love had gone beyond that – they had been best friends and companions, allies and comrades. With a sickening realization, Kagome understood: Inuyasha was never going to be the same.

If it had been different – if they had separated for another reason – he might have been all right. But… she had left him. For another man. For his brother.

The grief pooled deep in her stomach, almost making her double over in pain. Sesshoumaru steadied her, seeming to understand the severity of the situation. He didn't ask, and for that, she was grateful. Saying it out loud would have been even more painful.

After a few moments, she could breathe a little easier, and held herself tall once more. Sesshoumaru turned her and pulled her chin up, and he saw in her face the anguish of losing someone, although her face was calmed. He had expected it, though. Kagome was not good at masking emotions.

"It is not your fault," he murmured.

He watched as her resolve wavered; trembling lips and the slight narrowing of the eyes. But she composed herself again. Curious.

"For whom do you put on a brave face, Kagome?"

Kagome closed her eyes. "For myself."

This answer intrigued him. He cocked his head in the way she loved so that when she opened her eyes, he looked so puzzled she couldn't help but ease his confusion.

"If I don't force myself to stay together, I just may fall apart," she whispered, looking away.

Brows furrowed, Sesshoumaru could only come up with one thought – she still held feelings for his brother. A flash of anger ripped through his body, and he fought his youki for control. It sought vengeance for this traitorous act, and called for Inuyasha's blood. Morbidly, Sesshoumaru visualized killing his brother… but this brought forth his memories, and his new conscience warred with his old habits.

His thoughts were interrupted when the hanyou in question returned – with a pregnant demon-slayer in tow. This silenced his raging youki. Pregnant females soothed inu males, and furthermore, she was Kagome's friend. There would be no blood shed today.

But that would infer that there would be a coming fight, and Sesshoumaru did not know what to think of this. It was frustrating to think that after all he'd fought for, he could ruin it with one angry swipe of his claws.

"Well, I guess there's no secret now," Sango giggled as she exited the shop.

Hearing her friend so happy snapped Kagome out of her stupor. "Eh?"

The taijiya laughed again. "Oh, come on, Kagome. Hashi?" She looked at her friend speculatively.

"Oh, right," Kagome said with a grin. "Now that he knows, you should start getting visitors in about… oh, thirty seconds," she laughed.

Even Inuyasha started to chuckle. "Poor Miroku's gonna have to put seals all over the door to keep them away."

They all laughed at this, except Sesshoumaru, who smiled politely. He didn't get the joke, of course. But seeing Kagome smile and hearing her sweet laughter made him feel so good, he couldn't sit there with a frown on his face.

As it became quiet, Inuyasha's ears swiveled behind him, twitching. Kagome, who was ever-sensitive to the hanyou's alerts, was suddenly in battle mode. But Sesshoumaru placed a hand across the small of her back reassuringly. Kagome suddenly felt silly. There was nothing in this world she could possibly be afraid of any longer. Not with Sesshoumaru by her side.

Only a few moments had passed, and now, the teenagers were coming from around the back of the hut. They were laughing, and Kohaku even reached up to caress Rin's cheek. Kagome looked up at Sesshoumaru, just in case. But she only saw an expression of quiet contemplation, and a gentle softening of his eyes. Reassured, she turned back to the lovebirds, and her sudden movement caught Kohaku's eyes.

He gasped at the surprise of meeting so many here, and froze in place when he saw Sesshoumaru. But there was no anger in the youkai's eyes, so he relaxed. Rin had never even stopped smiling; she was surrounded by friends and love.

"Kohaku!" Sango thrust herself at her little brother, wrapping her arms around him.

He hugged her back tightly. Rin went to stand by Sesshoumaru, also curving herself to the side his miko was not occupying.

"Hey, careful, Kohaku," Kagome warned.

This brought him up short. He released his sister, eyeing her suspiciously. She grinned in response.

"Kohaku, you're going to be an uncle," she told him quietly.

A few seconds ticked by, and Sango grew worried as she watched her brothers' shocked face.

Then suddenly, he shouted. "All right!" He started to grab Sango once more, but thought better of it.

Instead, Inuyasha clapped him on the back, Rin came forward to hug him, and Sango held his shoulders and touched his forehead with her own. Kagome grinned, and Sesshoumaru watched her face intently. He wondered to himself if she would want the same thing; could she someday want children of her own?

He knew she already cared for the fox kit – she made sure he ate right, gave him presents, and soothed him when something troubled him. But it could also be construed as the role of an older sister. Did not Sango also care for Kohaku in this way? Of course, it was slightly different since the boy was older than the kitsune, at least in appearance. But still… he could not deny the fact that Kagome had a strong motherly instinct.

He felt Kagome's grip tighten around his waist, and looked down to find her peering at him. She seemed worried. He hadn't noticed that he had begun to frown as he thought. She _was_ worried. Without smiling, he caressed her cheek, resting his palm against her face.

Would this woman one day carry his children? Hanyou children?

He was surprised that even though he felt conflicted, his youki did not rebel against the idea. Still gazing at Kagome, who had seemed to smile again at his touch, his lips curved slightly upward. He could not deny her. If she wanted his children – hanyou or otherwise – he would be all too happy to comply. Oh, and think of all the opportunities that trying to sire such children would imply! There were so many different positions, and locations, and times of day…

"Sesshoumaru?"

Her voice brought him out of his lust-filled daydreams. He was sure now that he had probably made a less-than-noble face while inadvertently ogling her. One of her eyebrows was raised in an almost audible smirk as she began to deduce exactly what he was thinking of.

Now, a real grin appeared on his face as he bent to her.

"How much time before you leave me?" he asked in a low voice. She blushed prettily.

But it was not low enough; he had forgotten his brothers' excellent – although not as good as his – hearing. And said ears were pointed in his direction, as well as a noteworthy scowl. Sesshoumaru was bothered by this; true, it hadn't been very long since Kagome had denied Inuyasha. But this possessiveness his brother felt for Kagome had to either dissolve or at least hide.

Inuyasha was still glaring, and Sesshoumaru sent a rumbling growl in his direction. Kagome finally noticed what was going on and placed a calming hand onto Sesshoumaru's arm, which was still wrapped protectively around her. Once she had one brother under control, she turned to scowl at the other. Inuyasha had the decency to look ashamed.

"Kagome?"

She turned at the sound of her name. It had been Sango's warm voice, and she stepped away from the Taiyoukai to speak with her friend.

"I'm going to go back home. Who knows what kind of chaos is awaiting me?" She laughed, looking in the direction of her home longingly.

Kagome nodded. "I'll see you when my week is up," Kagome reassured the demonslayer, hugging her.

Sango nodded as well, and Inuyasha turned to accompany her home.

Kagome was hurt. "Inuyasha?" she said meekly.

He looked back slowly, reluctant to meet her eyes. He didn't speak when he finally locked his gaze on her. She flushed with the intensity of his gaze, and then she felt Sesshoumaru next to her once more. Inuyasha understood.

"Later," he said sadly as he trotted back to Sango.

Neither looked back.

After a few moments, Kagome was able to realize that Rin and Kohaku were still there, chatting animatedly. Perhaps a trip home wouldn't be bad. Maybe it would get her mind off things.

Walking up to Rin, she placed a hand on the girl's shoulder. "I'm going, Rin. I hope you have a great week," she said, grinning at the young couple.

Both flushed, to Kagome's amusement. She chuckled, and the girl embraced her.

"Thanks," Rin whispered in her ear, "I don't know what I would have done without you."

For a response, Kagome flashed a smile as she pulled back to hold the girl at arm's-length. Suddenly, Kohaku's wiry arms were around her as she gasped in surprise. She was suddenly filled with a panicked sensation, and a tinge of guilt. Then she realized why she felt so anxious. Well, it was more audible than anything.

A soft, slow, rumbling growl came from behind her, and she felt Kohaku stiffen slightly before he began to pull away. Kagome turned to raise an eyebrow at Sesshoumaru. Really, it was only Kohaku. Was he threatened by a fifteen-year-old boy?

The youkai didn't know what had come over him. He knew – deep down – that the boy posed no threat. After all, he had recently been enlightened to whom exactly the young man's heart belonged. And even if Rin and Kohaku had not been involved, he knew Kagome's heart belonged to him. Sesshoumaru looked in the direction that his brother had left.

Didn't he?

After Rin went back into Hashi's shop, Kohaku took his leave, and the two were left alone. She would see Rin's kimonos when she returned. After all, the excuse of seeing them was merely an excuse to get everyone together to announce Kohaku and Rin.

Sesshoumaru looked up to the slowly setting sun. It would be dark in about two hours, and he wanted to get Rin back to the little waterfall area they had adopted as home. Offhandedly, he wondered why he had never settled there.

"Shall we?" he asked, his voice low, despite their privacy.

Kagome, who had previously been pondering the very real idea that she may have an insecure Taiyoukai on her hands, was brought back to Earth. Smiling, she took his hand.

"Yes," she told him.

Soon, they were in front of the well. Kagome shifted uneasily. She didn't want to say goodbye, but… he would be here when she came back. Hoping that this week wasn't going to be as bad as the last, she began to look forward to helping her mother cook and sleeping in her bed. School was the problem. With the excitement of this relationship, she couldn't focus on her schoolwork last week. More than likely, she had more of the same to look forward. Sadly, she thought of how well her schooling had been going with the slowing wane of her relationship with Inuyasha.

Suddenly, it hit her. _That's right… it's not like I suddenly fell out of love with Inuyasha and in love with Sesshoumaru! All this time, my hope had been holding on by just a string. I had been waiting…_ Indeed, she had waited three years, and their relationship had not strengthened, not changed. And it was not from lack of trying on her part, either.

Kagome felt the tension she had not known she had been holding leave her. It was like the person she had been carrying on her back had suddenly jumped off. Had she been feeling this… guilt the whole time?

Feeling lighter than she had been in a while, she turned a dazzling smile up to Sesshoumaru's face. He had been watching her intently, wishing he knew what she was thinking. Now, he felt her aura change, as if she was instantly different, better. Even her smile showed it.

"Something you wish to say, Kagome?" he asked, a smirk playing along his lips.

She thought for a moment, attempting to hold back a laugh. "Nope."

"Then," he began, sliding his arms around her waist slowly, listening to her heartbeat begin to thump erratically, "we should say our farewells."

Kagome swallowed thickly, her humor lost and her smile gone, replaced by need and wide eyes. She could only nod dumbly.

He bent to capture her lips, and she instantly moaned her approval. He chuckled darkly. After a few moments, she wound a hand around his neck, and one of his slid up her body into her black hair. She pressed her body into his unconsciously, and he rumbled with pleasure.

Soon, he was pulling away, much to Kagome's puzzlement and annoyance. She scowled at him, which made him give a short, sharp laugh.

"Do not look at me so, Kagome. If we were to continue, I doubt you would get very much sleep, let alone get to your 'school'," he told her, humor coloring his words.

Kagome had to think about it for a moment, her mind still hazy from the kiss. But then it made sense, and she blushed a little. "Right," she told him, bending to get the backpack she had dropped during their kiss.

She turned to the well and sat on the rim, her legs dangling into the abyss. Sesshoumaru stood next to her, looking into the deep darkness.

"I'll see you in a few days," she told him.

He nodded once, and she jumped.

Sesshoumaru watched as a blinding light swallowed the miko and when it was gone, so was she.


	9. IX

"_You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you;  
you let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you.  
_

_Help me; I broke apart my insides. _

_Help me; I've got no soul to sell. _

_Help me; the only thing that works for me: _

_Help me get away from myself…" -_Closer, Nine Inch Nails

**A/N**: As always, Sesshoumaru's dreams are marked with an asterisk (*). But we have a new marking! Ampersand (&) will mark where mature content begins. Now that the characters in the series are officially of-age, my writing shouldn't be affected and I don't have to post 'clean' versions.

Sorry for the huge delay. To be honest, I'm going through a tough situation personally, and I've been kinda depressed, so I haven't been able to write. Sure, I could have just written some crap and given it to you, but that's not my style. Sorry. I hope the lemon in this chapter (and it's a damn good one, if I say so myself) makes up for it. :]

**That's the Way Love Goes**

Chapter IX

**VERY IMPORTANT – PLEASE READ**: SessKag fans, please don't abandon me. You may hate me by the end of this chapter, but I remind you, this is a SessKag story. I will not let the trail go cold. I promise if you stick with me, you won't be disappointed. This story was meant to be a drama/angst, and so I have provided. Thanks for sticking around…

_-PitaBread_

Kagome sighed as she walked home on Wednesday. She hated school. And today, she was forced to admit it to her guidance counselor. The middle-aged, husky woman had balked; no one had dared be so brash! Kagome brushed it off - she had made her decision. As much as she liked psychology and the sub-categories wherein, she had made up her mind: she was going to be the miko of her families' shrine. Oh boy, when she told jii-chan tonight at dinner, there would be no living with him from then on. He was going to dance and sing for the next three days.

Despite her preoccupation with school, Kagome still couldn't get her mind off of Sesshoumaru. Even now, the thought of him lifted her feet. She smiled ever so slightly, and suddenly, she found herself remembering her first time. She found herself getting aroused; her cheeks flushed and her breath was strangled in her throat. Suddenly embarrassed for her naughty thoughts, Kagome stepped up her pace, only to have her name called but a moment later.

Afraid to turn around, since she knew who was calling her, Kagome pretended not to hear. She cursed him for being so fast.

"Kagome!" he called, only a little out of breath, "Wait for me!"

Kagome slowed her steps reluctantly. Rolling her eyes before she turned, she hoped she wasn't still blushing. She forced a smile as she faced him.

"Hi, Hojo," she said between barely unclenched teeth.

"Kagome, it's great to see you! It's been a long time," he said, grinning like a fool.

"It has," she said, wishing she was strong enough to turn and run home.

"You don't look well, Kagome," he said, placing a hand on her forehead, "do you have a fever? Oh no! Did you have another herpes outbreak?"

Man, she was never going to live down all the excuses from her past. What she had to do to go to the feudal era… Regardless, she shied away from Hojo's touch. If it wasn't Sesshoumaru, no man should be touching her. She even had to fight from forming a scowl on her face.

"I'm fine, Hojo, thanks for asking. I haven't been sick in years. Healthy as a horse!" she said, a false grin on her face.

"But you're all flushed, and you're breathing really hard…"

"Nope, all is well! Gotta go, bye!"

And Kagome ran for her life, back to the shrine.

---------------------------

As expected, Kagome was surrounded by laughter and shouts of praise and happiness. She rolled her eyes as her grandfather tried to urge her into a dance and stayed put. Her mother chuckled softly, and her brother grinned. She had to beg to go back to her room, feigning exhaustion. Mama was her savior, ushering her out of the dining room and towards the stairs.

"Go on, Kagome," she said softly. "If you want to talk, I'm here." She kissed the top of her daughter's head – she had to stand on her tiptoes now to do so – and smiled warmly.

"Thanks, mama," Kagome said right before she began to trudge up the stairs.

The next two days were going to be the longest in her life.

---------------------------------

Despite her grandfather's constant celebrating and bragging, Kagome had a decent rest of the week. She had scored high on a math quiz, which always made her millennia, since she thought herself incompetent in the subject. Kagome practically skipped home on Friday, eager to go back to the Feudal Era and Sesshoumaru.

As she packed her things, there was a knock on her door. She bade the visitor entrance.

"You're leaving?" It was a question, but Kagome knew it was more of a statement.

"Yeah, mama. I'd like to get back before sunset," she said.

"Well, it's only three," her mother stated.

"I know, mama," Kagome began, "but… I miss him."

Her mother smiled. "Have things finally progressed for you and Inuyasha?"

Kagome's face fell. A few minutes passed before Kagome could speak past the lump in her throat. Her mother immediately noticed her distress and she placed an arm around her daughter's shoulders.

"Kagome, dear? What's wrong?"

Kagome hesitated. What would her mother think? She wasn't sure what to think herself. She had pined after Inuyasha for a whole year, and after he was free for the taking, nothing transpired between them other than bashful glances and attempted stares when the other wasn't looking. That was the crux of her relationship with Inuyasha. On the other hand with Sesshoumaru, there was no shyness or the insecurity of first love. Each knew what they wanted, and so their relationship had progressed quickly. But just because she was able to make sense of it, doesn't mean others could; that was the main reason, she now knew, everyone had jumped to conclusions when she had first told her friends about her connection with the Taiyoukai. And she cared what her mother thought more than anyone else. If she didn't approve, what would she do?

With a weary sigh, Kagome relented. She had to tell her mother. "Mama, I… Inuyasha and I…" Just because she wanted to tell her mother didn't mean she knew how.

"I see," the older woman said wisely. "So he never came to you, and you have met someone else, have you?"

Kagome felt like all the blood in her body rushed to her face. How could she have known? "Mama… how?"

"Oh, Kagome," her mother sighed. "You are not the first to have this problem. And you are certainly not the last." She let Kagome think about that for a moment before continuing. "Well, then, Kagome, who is this new suitor? Will we get to meet him?"

Kagome stuttered at first. Sesshoumaru? _Here?_ _In the modern era!?_ She saw all of Japan under new rule: the Taiyoukai, Sesshoumaru. Then Kagome giggled to herself. Ridiculous. Sesshoumaru had changed, and he wasn't interested in conquering humans.

"No, mama, I don't think so. He's not so, uh, great around humans." She watched as her mother's forehead wrinkled as the brows rose in interest.

"Another hanyou?"

"No, mama. He's pure youkai. Very powerful, very intimidating youkai…"

The elder Higurashi woman frowned with concern. "Intimidating? Kagome, if you're…"

"No, no, no, mama. Not like that. It's just… well…" Dreading the words before they even came out of her mouth, Kagome prayed her family would accept the demon as they accepted his hanyou brother. "Mama, he's Inuyasha's brother. Half-brother."

At first, Kagome's mother was shocked; it wasn't a big surprise that her daughter wasn't able to stay attached to the half-demon forever. Even more shocked, she realized what this must mean in the feudal era – her friends were probably very confused as well. Then comprehension dawned on her aged mind: If Inuyasha was half-demon, and his brother was full demon, then they must share a father, since her daughter had told her that Inuyasha's mother was human. But that meant that the great and powerful Inu no Taishou's blood flowed directly in the veins of the demon Kagome was now involved with.

Kagome could see that her mother was fighting to hold back the slight frown that was gracing her features. Regardless, she would wait until the elder Higurashi said something.

Finally, after an entire two minutes, the more experienced woman smiled. "Kagome, you must do what you must. If Inuyasha is not your path, then so be it. Not everyone marries their first boyfriend, you know. This…"

"Sesshoumaru," Kagome answered.

"This… Sesshoumaru-" Kagome could see her mother internally wince at the name, obviously perturbed by its' meaning "-does he love you?"

Kagome allowed herself a smile. "I think so, mama."

Now her mother smiled genuinely as well. "Then that's all that matters, right?"

Kagome nodded, then her face fell, prompting her mother to ask what was troubling her. "It's just that… Inuyasha is having such a hard time with it. I mean, I knew he wouldn't like it, but… He doesn't want to talk to me, and when he does, I feel like he's going to run or kidnap me or something. Not that he'd get very far…" Kagome giggled as she thought of being whisked away by Inuyasha only to have Sesshoumaru, of all people – er, demons – to rescue her. But then her thoughts turned dark. Although he was different because of the accident, Sesshoumaru was changing little by little with every dream. And with their past, if the little scenario she thought up were to happen, she didn't even want to know the outcome. She would rather die herself than have the brothers fight each other so vehemently. And therein lay the problem. Kagome had loyalties to both of the Inu brothers. But she had been spurned by one, and the other didn't have the best track record.

Kagome sighed, making her mother laugh. But then, she became quiet.

"Is he able to come here?" she asked quietly.

Kagome shook her head slowly as a smile that didn't reach her eyes appeared. "No. Only Inuyasha and I can pass through the well."

The older woman seemed to understand the problem and nodded. "Well, what is, is. No sense in trying to change things that cannot be changed." She hugged Kagome suddenly, catching the young woman off guard. It was a fierce hug, and Kagome realized her mother understood more than she wanted her to.

They pulled away from each other and giggled quietly.

"Well, if you're going to go, you'd better go now, I suppose," the elder Higurashi said with a hint of regret in her voice.

Kagome chuckled. "Yeah. But it's only for the weekend, mama. Then you'll have me again for another five days."

Her mother turned serious, alarming Kagome. "Sweetheart, are you sure this is what you want? The shrine? Will you be happy?"

With a smile, Kagome looked at her little pink backpack and knew. There was no future for her as a doctor, lawyer, or some other silly job where you worked all day then came home exhausted. She was already a trained miko, and was more skilled than any other of the fake mikos in this time. She actually had a chance to help people. And it seemed to be her fate.

"Yes, mama."

Convinced, her mother nodded, clapping briskly. "Okay, then! Good luck with Sesshoumaru," she tripped over the name, unfamiliar with it and almost calling him by his brother's name, "and for goodness sake, bring a few sweaters!" She hugged her daughter again, and Kagome assured her she was so safe with Sesshoumaru, a padded room would be dangerous.

Then Kagome picked up her little pack and walked out of the house, putting one of her favorite yellow sweaters on.

Her mother, out of sight, stayed motionless in her daughter's room as a single tear slid out from her eye. She watched from the window as Kagome went to the well house and slid inside, closing the doors shut. Unable to watch anymore, she forced herself to return to the kitchen, where she began to make dinner.

--------------------------------

On the other side of the well, life was teeming. Farmers were trying to sell the years' crops, children were laughing and playing in the streets, and their mothers were yelling after them. Kagome giggled as she walked to Kaede's house to tell the older miko of her revelation. Everything here made sense finally. She had a partner – one who wanted her through and through and wasn't afraid of what that would mean or of showing it publicly – she had a career, and she would be graduating from high school in two weeks. She would be free to come to the Sengoku Jidai whenever she wanted; there would be no more waiting.

As she approached the village miko's residence, she heard Shippou playing nearby. His infectious, childish laugh was impossible to ignore. She heard the mewling of Kirara as well, knowing the two were playing together. She grinned as she walked into the hut.

Kaede was fixed near her cookfire; she was arranging the items for her dinner. Without looking away, she addressed the returned miko. "Hello, Kagome. Are you back for the 'weekend'?" The word was strange to her, but she knew it was the term the girl from the future always used.

"Yep," Kagome nodded eagerly. "Kaede-sama, I have agreed to take over my families' shrine as priestess," she told the elder with shining enthusiasm.

"Wonderful!" Kaede exclaimed. "I always thought you would. But it had to be your decision. What swayed you, child?"

"Well, I have many freedoms as the miko of the shrine. And I can still help people. Really help people! I don't know if I ever told you, but the mikos in my time are fakes – they chant and pray and perform customary rites, but that's about it. They're pretty much good for a show. But I actually know herbal remedies, and I have healing abilities. So, I'm hoping I can truly help someone."

The girl beamed, and the old woman nodded, satisfied with her answer. But she became serious again. "Do not forget, child. It is wonderful to help people, but you must help yourself, first."

Kagome looked at her, puzzled. Seeing her confusion, Kaede continued.

"My child, Kikyou was plagued with people constantly seeking her advice or wisdom or medical help. She loved to help people as well, but I believe that in our time, these things are expected. If you have as large a population as you normally speak of, then once people learn of your prowess, they may never give you peace."

Her words dropped like boulders on Kagome's shoulders. The young woman had not considered this. She had only thought of the worshippers' happiness, not her own. And Kaede was right. Her race – the Japanese – were a superstitious lot. They loved ghost stories and creepy movies; they had many who earned their living off the premise of the paranormal. If word got out that a girl could mend a broken arm with a touch or could ward off a ghoul with her presence, she would have no rest. The media would hound her.

"Oh, do not look so down, child. You just have to be careful, that's all…" Kaede smiled at her, and Kagome nodded.

It was true; she would have to be careful, but otherwise, she could still go on with her plans. Anyways, she planned on spending most of her time here, with Sesshoumaru, so she always had an escape. She smiled at the thought of running away from reporters to the well house, and when they opened the doors, she would be gone. She would be famous! Giggling at the silly idea, Kagome excused herself from Kaede's home, promising a visit again soon, to finish any training she may need.

Kagome soon arrived at the home of Miroku and Sango. They were talking animatedly when Kagome rapped on the frame of their doorway. Sango told her to come in, and then the two hugged and yelled as they reunited. Miroku smiled as he rolled his eyes.

"Every time she comes back…" he muttered quietly enough that his wife couldn't hear.

"What was that?" Sango asked, perturbed.

"Nothing, my love. I was just waiting for my turn to greet Kagome…" He grinned sheepishly, making the women suspicious of what had truly been said.

Kagome hugged him then, and they spoke quickly. Sango warned Kagome in almost the same words Kaede had used, crushing her hopes.

"Kagome," Sango pleaded, "I'm sorry! I just want you to be happy, and I know what popularity does. My father hardly ever rested; there was always a plea from some terrorized village."

"I as well," Miroku chimed in.

"That's because you were busy scamming them," the girls said in unison, setting them into a fit of laughter.

Miroku seemed unmoved. "I had to make a living," he said with his nose in the air. "And you two didn't seem to mind when you were sleeping on a futon instead of the ground," he added, a grin gracing his handsome features.

Kagome frowned. "He's got a point. We never exactly refused to sleep indoors."

"That's only because it would have been rude to ignore their hospitality," Sango grunted.

Miroku smiled, knowing he had won this argument.

Soon after, Kagome left and wished Sango health, since her demon slayer's uniform wasn't _quite_ fitting as it used to. She walked towards the outskirts of the village when she felt two demon auras coming at her with incredible speed. She smiled as she turned to greet them.

With heat that could fry an egg, the large nekoyoukai alighted in front of her. She held her arms out as a vivid-green and fire-red fluffy ball came flying at her.

"Kagome!" he cried, landing in her embrace.

"Hi, Shippou," Kagome giggled.

"Why didn't you come say 'hi'?" he said, a little frown on his now-elongating face.

"Oof," Kagome complained. It seemed like he had doubled in weight since she last saw him. "Shippou, I wasn't running away or anything. We see each other all the time. Besides, you were playing…"

"I know," he said, dejected.

She put him down, unable to hold his weight for much longer. "Listen, I'm coming back tomorrow. I just wanted to see if I could find Sesshoumaru first."

Shippou nodded. "He was here last night, but I guess he left early this morning," the kit told her.

Kagome's eyebrows drew together in contemplation. Why would he come a day early? And what made him leave? Shrugging, Kagome told the kitsune that she was going west and ruffled his hair, hugging him one last time. She noticed that she didn't have to bend nearly as far to hug him on his level as before. He waved, and the two demons went back to the inner village.

Humming to herself, Kagome set out for the west, hoping he who ruled the lands would feel her presence.

And feel her, he did.

--------------------------------

As soon as he had felt her bright light, Sesshoumaru raced out of the clearing they had been occupying. Rin had smiled, knowing what was coming. Jaken squawked something about humans. But it didn't matter to the youkai. He smelled her distinct, fresh scent now, and nothing could stop him. His heart raced as never before. Sesshoumaru realized that he didn't know this emotion – was this excitement? He had never felt excited before. But the way Kagome spoke of it, it seemed to fit. Yes, he was excited to see her.

It only took him a few minutes, and he stopped short when he saw her, barely on the outskirts of what would soon be Edo, from what he had read in one of Kagome's History books. He was amazed that after only five days, he needed to see her so badly, and when he did, it just wasn't enough. He needed to hold her, to touch her. Idly, a part of him wondered if she felt the same. And then she noticed him, and she stopped, too. She smiled widely at him, and his heart stuttered for a moment. In half a second, he cleared the distance between them and had her in his arms.

She giggled loudly as he lifted her and inhaled her scent deeply. "I missed you too," she murmured.

At that, he pulled away to look at her. The overwhelming emotions he felt were threatening to overflow, and he crushed his lips to hers. It wasn't until a few minutes later that either was satisfied enough to let the other go. They each were left panting when they finally parted, and Kagome laughed.

"That… was probably… the best… greeting… ever," she said, catching her breath between words.

To her chagrin, Sesshoumaru was already composed, his superb body already having regained its' breath. He grinned at her words and kept his arms wound around her waist.

"You are worth greeting in such a manner," he said, and his words crept like silk into her body, stirring a new emotion.

He picked up onto her hormonal change quickly and smiled predatorily. Kagome pushed him away.

"Down, boy," she said, not trusting herself enough to look at him.

He chuckled to himself and let her collect her thoughts.

"Shall we?" he asked.

"Oh, yes! Where are Rin and Jaken?"

They began to walk, not caring how much time passed now that they were in the company of one another.

"They are in our clearing," he replied.

"The one with the waterfall? You're still staying there?" she asked, curious. She had never known Sesshoumaru to stay in one spot for very long.

He nodded, picking up on her meaning.

"It seems – through my dreams, or memories – that I tended to roam constantly. I think…" he hesitated, unsure of how the young woman would take his words, "I think… I had been searching for something. Or someone."

Kagome smiled, facing the ground. She wondered if he was really trying to say what she thought he was trying to say… "Did you travel much before Naraku?" She realized she didn't know much about him before she had first met him.

"Yes," he said in a saddened tone. "I have been roaming for many years. It was a compulsion. I didn't know why. I think I do now." He turned to look at her, but she was hiding behind her hair.

"So you have found what you were looking for?" she asked meekly.

He stopped then, grasping her arm so that she would look at him. "I have," he said.

Once ensnared by his gaze, Kagome couldn't turn away. She saw such emotion in his eyes – emotion that she hadn't seen except in Inuyasha's eyes. She pushed away the need to cringe, thinking her friend's name. The hanyou had made his decision, and she had made hers. There would be no turning back.

Coming up with a loss for words, Kagome could only say one thing. "Good."

----------------------------

The rest of Friday slipped by easily. Rin had welcomed Kagome and Jaken attempted to be polite, only if to not incur the wrath of his master. Besides, if he had to admit it, he would say that the miko was actually kind. And his master seemed content. Ah-Un grunted its' greeting to the priestess and Kagome had scratched both heads. One mouth had sparked in pleasure, making Kagome giggle.

It was so easy. She spoke quietly with Sesshoumaru, gave advice to Rin, and even helped Jaken with a cut that hadn't yet healed. Kagome insisted on finding dinner, so Rin expertly caught a few fish and the miko made some rice she had brought with her. When Rin and Jaken were asleep, Kagome pulled Sesshoumaru away from the fire towards the cave under the waterfall.

Really, she didn't intend anything to happen. She simply wanted some privacy; away from young inquiring minds and nosy little imps. But now, as they glided away from the fire deeper into the night, she couldn't help how her heart accelerated and her breathing came in quicker, ragged puffs. The electricity was tangible. She knew it was silly, but she felt as if she could feel the heat rolling off Sesshoumaru's body even though the cold December night practically froze her stiff.

Once they were in the much warmer cave, Kagome felt better. Not only was it more comfortable, but the shocking thrill of being alone with Sesshoumaru lessened as she dropped his hand and stood a few paces away.

"Will you bathe?" he asked curiously.

The formal speech stunned her; he had been speaking in his newer, less fancy speech since she had arrived. "No. I just wanted to be alone with you," she admitted.

It was strange, hearing those words from her own mouth. She never thought she could be so bold. True, the words weren't exactly means for gossip – well, maybe in this era. But she had meant what she had said, and she knew Sesshoumaru wouldn't construe it to have a double meaning.

He nodded once and – realizing the girl was nervous – folded neatly onto the floor. Kagome couldn't sit still; she was too keyed up and wasn't sure why. She had never been nervous around Sesshoumaru before. Not in this way, at least.

Of course, Sesshoumaru – when he wanted to – was the embodiment of patience. And for some reason, it irked the young woman that he was so calm. Did he not feel the spark that threatened to burn them alive earlier? Did he not know how badly she missed him? Had he not missed her? Kagome finally stopped fidgeting long enough to look at him, and was surprised at what she saw. The youkai was watching her – no, staring. And his topaz eyes were burning into her with a power of a monsoon. Her breath hitched in her throat as she stood frozen, captured in his gaze like a mouse under the forceful stare of a cobra.

She still stood, moving only her widened eyes as she watched him gracefully rise and step towards her. Confidently, he stopped only when he was behind her. Kagome was grateful she was no longer under the power of his blazing eyes. But then her heart thumped erratically when he wound his arms around her waist. She could hear her own raspy little breaths and heard nothing of his. Did she not affect him like he affected her?

He bent his head until he could speak directly into her ear, even though there was no one around to hear their conversation. When he spoke, his thick, deep voice was almost a growl.

"What troubles you, my little miko?"

Kagome stopped breathing altogether as his baritone sent a thrill down her spine and her knees nearly buckled. How was she to speak when she could barely manage breathing?

"I… Um, I…"

His answering chuckle nearly sent her to the floor, her body unable to cope with the tense anticipation of the moment.

"It seems words fail you. Why don't you… show me what you need…?"

The double meaning didn't escape her, and a pleasurable shiver ran its' course through her body.

"Are you cold?" he asked.

She shook her head slowly, afraid to speak, lest her voice giver her anxieties away. She thought she heard a sigh, and then Sesshoumaru was turning her. She didn't want to look into his eyes - doing so was similar to how pitcher plants attracted their prey with its' sweet scent. She would be trapped; a goner. So she looked down at her feet instead. But Sesshoumaru was past all evasiveness. He used a finger to lift her chin up, although she stubbornly refused to look into his eyes.

Irritated, the demon placed his hands on both sides of her face gently. She could feel his gaze piercing into her. After a few moments, she had to give in. She was shocked that although his ocher eyes still smoldered, his brows were creased with worry. She reached up to touch his face, and they stared into each other's eyes for a moment until Sesshoumaru broke the silence.

"That wasn't so hard, was it?" he said, a slight smile playing at his lips.

"What?" she asked, confused.

"You still haven't told me what has been troubling you," he reminded her.

Kagome glanced towards the water for a second, trying to collect her thoughts. What would she tell him? That all of a sudden, she wanted to jump him? That was kind of crass, whether they were already lovers or not. And… _were_ they lovers?

The question set off the worst pain in her stomach – it felt like it was twisting in on itself. She thought she could feel her face mimicking her tumbling tummy.

The problem was, they had never actually spoke of their intentions. Of course, she knew that Sesshoumaru had already assumed that they were married, or whatever the equivalent was for youkai – mates? But now that she had dispelled that theory, what did he make of this? And if that wasn't troubling enough, Kagome didn't know her own intentions. Of course, she thought she could travel back and forth, living in her era and coming whenever she could to visit Sesshoumaru and her friends, but what kind of life was that? It would be easier if she could stay here, or if Sesshoumaru could come with her – would he, if it was possible? – but the main problem was that he could not, and that only left her with the two alternatives: staying here or traveling in between.

Of course she hadn't thought of how hard it would be to keep up the double life: unexplained disappearances, the lack of interest in the men of her time, and of course, the anxiety that accompanied her whenever she was away from Sesshoumaru. But those things were now popping up in her mind, letting themselves be heard.

And the trouble with staying here was simple, if not silly: she was a modern girl. She enjoyed the fresh air and the smaller population of the Feudal Era, but she loved having a bed, showers, and washing machines, as well as the food differences. Of course, Kagome wasn't very materialistic, and liked to think she _could_ give it up, but wasn't sure she _wanted_ to.

Well, first thing's first. She needed to find out how Sesshoumaru felt and where this was going. She knew her own feelings: she truly, madly, deeply loved him. She couldn't imagine a life without him. And if meant - god forbid – giving up ramen, then so be it.

Sesshoumaru was again the epitome of patience as Kagome collected her thoughts, but she could see the tightening if his eyes which signaled her to start saying something. With a sigh, Kagome began cautiously.

"I'm… worried," she said, unsure of her own meaning.

He tilted his head in that endearing way, and she smiled a little.

"I… I don't know what to do. I'm trying to think about… the future," she said, reading his expression while she spoke.

"Your era?" he asked, his forehead creased in concentration.

Kagome smiled wider. "No. I mean, my future. Where I'm headed and what I… want."

His eyebrows dipped into a 'v' shape as he contemplated this and tried to extract her meaning. "Oh." He didn't seem pleased.

"No, no, no, Sesshoumaru," she said, then exhaled in a gust. Drawing in a deep breath, she tried to make herself clearer. "I… love you, Sesshoumaru." She watched as he became more confused and probably drew a few more wrong conclusions. "You can't come with me to my time. So the only options I have are to stay here or to travel back and forth," she explained.

He noticed that she didn't smile now. Was she unhappy with the situation? Did she not want to stay with him? Of course it would be a burden to constantly live in two worlds. And she couldn't stay here all the time – she had family in her time. He would not ask her to give them up. There really was only one other option.

"Kagome," he said, making her jump with the seriousness of his tone. "What do you want?"

That's what she'd been asking herself for some time. "I… I want you."

She waited for a response, but he didn't give her one. Instead, in a motion too quick for her eyes, he crushed his lips to hers in a way that both made her weak as wool and fierce with a hunger that didn't have anything to do with food. As a moan escaped her, Sesshoumaru pressed his entire body into her, allowing her to feel exactly how she made his body react.

"Mmm…," she groaned, anticipating what was to come.

That was all the encouragement he needed. The hand that was holding the back of her head to him slid down her back now, joining the other hand, which was still at the small of her back. But it didn't rest. Instead, it lifted the sweater, bringing the shirt under it along. She complied easily, already too warm with the oncoming rush of warmth to her body. She only made a petulant sound when they had to part for him to remove the clothing over her head. He chuckled darkly, and it produced in her a shiver that had nothing to do with the cold weather.

While he attempted to disrobe her, Kagome's hands were trying to memorize every line, every plane, every hard muscle. She had already pushed his Kimono and the inner kimono aside so that she could feel the smooth granite that was his chest. But it wasn't enough – she needed more. Of their own accord, her hands rose over his shoulders to his firm back, tracing the corded muscles there. Down his arms and back, then to his amazingly perfect abs – did he do nothing but sit ups when she wasn't around? His perfection knew no bounds – and then they sought what was under his hakama.

Sesshoumaru shuddered as he felt her tiny, trembling hands flat against the strong ligaments of his hips. He threw his head back and groaned, exposing his torso even more. Kagome took the opportunity to untie his hakama – he hadn't worn his traditional obi in some time, she just noticed – and they dropped quickly to the floor. Not needing more of an invitation, Sesshoumaru shrugged the rest of the way out of his kimonos and suddenly, he was bare to her.

There's something to say about Sesshoumaru's beauty and grace. With clothes, he was splendid. Without, he was glorious. Kagome took a moment to just look at him and run her hands on his body. He was trembling with excitement even though for her sake, he was attempting to appear calm. And of course, there was the very obvious – and erect – telling of his excitement.

Kagome removed her hands from his body suddenly, eliciting a growl from his chest. She smiled playfully before reaching behind her to remove her bra. Sesshoumaru still was unused to the odd female garment, but he already knew what this meant: she was exposing herself to him.

There's something to say about Kagome's beauty and grace. With clothes, she was stunning. Without clothes, she was a goddess. He watched as she slowly unclasped the back, and he felt his hands shaking with anticipation. He wanted to rip the thing off… She turned away from him, making him simultaneously upset and confused, but then she looked over her shoulder and smiled coyly at him. He was stunned motionless. Her back was bare now and she was removing the clothing, tossing it aside. She covered herself with her arms, giggling when he growled, but he was serious.

They were less than a foot apart, so when Sesshoumaru was suddenly turning her, it took Kagome by surprise. His brows formed a deep v-shape and Kagome could tell that he was really trying to hold back, to not harm her. His hands were hard on the tops of her arms, although he was careful not to cut her with his claws. His golden eyes were a darker shade now, almost orange.

"You will not hide yourself from me," he growled.

Kagome saw that she had taken it farther than it could go. Her very first instinct – stubborn as she was – was to be angry. But she had to remember who he was: a Taiyoukai, the greatest, strongest, most powerful demon alive during the Feudal Era. Obviously there were different rituals and rites that applied to demons, and she knew nothing of them. Of course, Sesshoumaru didn't exactly remember, either, but he was acting off instinct. And so now, she would have to appease him in order to continue.

"Yes, my lord," she said demurely.

He seemed stunned temporarily – whether it was from his own behavior or her response, Kagome wasn't sure. To him, her words had triggered something instinctual and primal within. He wasn't sure what, but it was life-changing. But then, the citrine that had clouded his eyes vanished, and his eyes burned with a new intensity. He crushed her to him, and the contact between her erect nipples and his skin was electric for the miko. She gasped as he buried his face in the space where her shoulder and neck met, under her heavy curtain of hair. One clawed hand was reassuringly rubbing circles on her lower back, the other entwined in her hair.

His burning lips touched her bare skin in the curve of her neck, and her knees buckled from the intense fire that was now coursing through her veins. Of course, Sesshoumaru was already holding her tightly, so she stayed in place. But she couldn't think anymore; his tongue was slowly making a little circle on her skin, and then he was suckling gently on the tender flesh there. He wasn't quite sure why his was fixated on this spot, but he could not leave it, as if he was supposed to _do_ something. Kagome's hands, trembling against the youkai's chest, were useless. Then something changed.

Sesshoumaru was no longer gentle. He was hungry, needy. It was tangible, and it made Kagome eager. Her hands found their purpose. They shot down to the only clothing left between either of them – her jeans. She undid them quickly and started to shimmy them past her hips, but Sesshoumaru stopped her. He was still alternating between licking and suckling different parts of her neck and shoulder but his hands were more active now. They took her hips roughly, crushing their bodies together. Kagome could feel his hardened length against her, the tip on her stomach throbbing impatiently.

&&&&&& MATURE CONTENT AHEAD &&&&&&&

Now Sesshoumaru was content to remove her pants in an achingly slow movement. He hooked his thumbs in the sides and carefully slid them, inch by inch, down her hips, her panties going with them. When his arms could go no further, he bent to go with them, his tongue and lips never stopping their slow torture. And then he was on his knees in front of her, his original task complete. But he was far from finished. He was in perfect position and suckled greedily on a nipple. Kagome swayed with the pleasure, and the demon found he had to keep a hand on her firm ass to keep her from falling over.

When he changed to the other twin peak, she moaned quietly, giving him further fuel. She seemed to handle it better now, and he nipped the bud, causing Kagome to buckle under the intensity. He smiled against her skin, smug. When she recovered, he continued his assault, but she became wary when his hand slowly moved to her front and lay on her thigh.

All thoughts fled her when he suddenly found the apex between her thighs. There was no resistance. He had not noticed in his earlier haste, but now, there was no denying it: the small patch of hair he clearly remembered was gone. Confused, the youkai looked up to Kagome, but she was still standing with her head back, eyes closed. Of course, when there was no movement from him, she looked down.

She laughed quietly to herself. His confusion was so thorough, he almost looked pleading. She blushed lightly. "Um… it's something women in my era sometimes do when they, er… have lovers."

At first there was no change, and Kagome was afraid she would have to explain further. But then there was acceptance and comprehension, and he decided to explore this new territory. It was a new experience for both, and she gasped at the heightened sensitivity. He cupped her, marveling at the smoothness. Then one long finger dipped inside the folds, and he had to hold her up again with his other hand.

As he teased her, she mewed and writhed, her nipples aching from the tension. He added another finger, and she gasped. Slowly, her body was giving out, her energy almost spent on the rush of hormones. He realized she wouldn't be able to enjoy herself much longer. Turning his attention back to her breasts, he slowly rose until he towered above her once again. He brought his lips to hers for a searing kiss that wobbled her more than anything else. Then he inched her forward as he walked backwards towards the small, warm pool.

She didn't seem to notice anything in her lust-induced haze, but she finally looked up at him when he stepped down. He had been meaning to lead her into the water, but she looked confused now, so he simply lifted her and placed her in the unusually warm water. Idly, she thought in triumph that the lake must be fed by an underground thermal vent. But she had little time to ponder, as Sesshoumaru was now backing her into the little natural bench in a curve of the rock.

He placed an arm on either side of her, effectively trapping her in his grasp. The intensity in his amber eyes burned into Kagome's soul, and she knew then that she irrevocably and eternally changed. She would never love another the way she loved this terrifying and beautiful creature. She stared – aquamarine into topaz – and waited for him to do whatever he was planning, eager for his touch. Her nipples, bobbing just above the water, ached for his lips, hardening into impossibly firm peaks. But to her astonishment, he didn't move. Instead, he leaned close – until his breath fanned across her ear – and spoke.

"I want to do things to you that I imagined when I first saw you bathing here; that first day," he rumbled to her.

Kagome closed her eyes and felt the warmth flood through her, impossibly hot, despite the warm water. And then – impossibly fast – his hands were grabbing her ass, lifting her so her legs wound around his hips. She could feel his throbbing cock against her opening, begging for entrance. But he hesitated, and she opened her eyes to search his. It seemed to be what he was waiting for. Instantly, he caught her lips with his own in a searing kiss that rivaled that same first kiss.

Acting on instinct, her hand again went to the back of his head, tangling in his hair. Again, his hands held her face, her legs and the water's buoyancy holding her to him still. But as Sesshoumaru began to realize that this time – so much like that first time – he could – and would – be able to do what he wanted to the stunning, caring, trusting woman in his arms, he lost a little of himself to his youki. It took over.

One of his hands snaked its' way down her neck, passing over a breast and teasing a nipple, down her taut stomach, finally coming to her core. Wasting no time, a finger slipped into the folds, teasing her womanly bud. Kagome shook with the intensity of the feeling, unable to do anything else. Her hand began to slip away from his head, only trying to hold on to dear life now. Her eyes were shut in pleasure, her mouth stuck in an 'o' shape. She began to whimper in protest – she couldn't hold out much longer. But Sesshoumaru's beast had just begun, despite the fact that it was also fighting Sesshoumaru's control; despite the fact that he was enjoying watching her face, he felt bad for her fatigue and wanted to let her rest.

In a snap decision, his other clawed hand went to the nape of her neck, grasping the hair there and pulling roughly. Kagome gasped and her head went with his hand. She was surprised that although it was just a little painful, it allowed a new wave of excitement course through her. At once, she was ready for more. Sesshoumaru's lower hand had slowed since, but with her newfound strength, she ground against his hand. When it provided her with the pressure and pleasure she sought, she did it again.

Moving his hand during a strategic moment, she ground against his engorged member instead and gasped. She knew he was big, but for some reason, he seemed larger than she remembered… was that possible? He didn't give her room to think about it. The hand that was grasping her hair roughly gave another gentle tug, and she willingly went with it. Her neck was completely bared to him and his eyes turned crimson.

Sesshoumaru fought for control; it was so confusing. He _wanted_ to bite her, but at the same time, it was wrong – it shouldn't be his youki. He needed to be in control when he did it. He wasn't sure why – it didn't even make sense to him, but he knew that was the way. But his beast would not relent. Fortunately, Sesshoumaru had enough strength to keep the beast from biting her badly. It came very close: at one point, his lips did part enough to let his teeth graze her delicate skin. But Sesshoumaru fought with every fiber of his being, and kept his youki from applying enough pressure to break skin. He instinctively knew he must not taste her blood.

Of course Kagome was oblivious. Between Sesshoumaru's lips and hands, all she could do was moan in pleasure. Her body moved itself.

Irritated with its' master's interference, his youki decided enough was enough. It let go of Kagome's hair long enough for her to look up into his burning crimson eyes and she barely had time to register the fact that it was time. His other hand had returned to her hip, and the other joined it on the other side. When they had her grasped tightly, they moved her further out of the water, and then forcefully brought her down upon his pulsing cock.

The pleasure-pain of it made Kagome cry out, and between the intense feeling of their joining and her call, the beast recoiled enough that a snarling Sesshoumaru took control of his body. He did not move, and when Kagome looked up, his eyes were a deep tawny color once again. But it was he who was surprised when she looked down onto him with a wry smile playing on her lips.

"Again," she commanded.

He was all too happy to comply. Raising her enough so that she could feel his tip just outside of her warmth, he smirked up at her right before he brought her down hard. Her cry this time stirred his blood in a way he hadn't yet experienced, and he had the urge to bite her once again as she threw back her head. But she was more together this time, and when she righted herself, she wriggled herself, making him throw back his head in pleasure this time. He groaned – a deep, feral sound – and Kagome felt a new power surge through her. She enjoyed making him moan, and she vowed to find new ways to do so.

Attempting to take control, Kagome wrapped her arms around him, bringing them closer, but also moving in a way that sent a shiver up her spine. She did it again, slowly, more controlled, and she made an unintelligible sound as she dug her nails into his back and dragged them along his skin. He hissed a low, long sound and she looked up, concerned that she had hurt him. But he was a Taiyoukai, and such a thing would not hurt him. However, his head was still thrown back, his face a mixture of unimaginable pain and unbelievable pleasure. The thick muscles of his neck stood out, and Kagome had the urge to bite him… hard. She was amazed with herself, and realized that she could control him as much as he could her.

But she didn't get to test her theory – he had snapped out of his lust-filled stupor and was now intent on making _her_ moan. He grabbed her hips and ground himself into her, and moan she did. Again and again he slowly worked himself in and out of her, making her come up with sounds she didn't know existed. Sometimes he could not bear the separation any more, and his lips had to find purchase against her own. Other times, she would claw helplessly against his perfect skin. He worked to recreate the sensations he knew would allow her to lose herself. It was all he could do to not let go himself… Her panting became desperate, but she had adjusted nicely to his impressive size. During a slow thrust, Kagome placed a hand against his striped face. He opened his eyes long enough to give her a questioning look. To his astonishment, her eyes had become a grayish-blue.

"Harder," she rasped, her eyes closed halfway with her lust.

He didn't need to be told twice. With a grunt, Sesshoumaru pushed her back against the rocky wall. He used one arm to brace against it, and the other kept Kagome to him. The cooler rock made Kagome gasp, but she didn't feel it once Sesshoumaru pushed into her powerfully. She saw stars as he forced himself into her roughly, but she could also feel the tightening in her lower abdomen. She was so close… Her legs continued to hold him impossibly close to her.

"Faster," she managed to gasp out.

Sesshoumaru paused for the tiniest moment; he was afraid of breaking her. But the smallest tightening around his swollen cock gave him insight. He would not disappoint her. Pushing into her at an incredible speed, still applying as much force as he thought was safe, he watched her face as she tried to regain her breath. Her hand was still on his face, and it wound up into his hair now, pulling. The new sensation drove Sesshoumaru to further heights, and instead of the speed she sought, he drew almost completely out, then would ram into her with such power that she would cry out in pleasure each time they came together.

"Yes!" she cried out.

But it was still not enough. She wanted more. She never wanted this bliss to end. She felt how close she was and knew she had to do something. There was a finality to it – she felt she needed this to drag out because there was always the possibility that she wouldn't see him again. He was so perfect, he might vanish. Instinctively, Kagome fought against the pleasure her body sought and pushed away. There was a slight stinging on her back – she wondered if the rocks had scratched her, but she really didn't care enough to check.

He was looking at her, a deep confusion in his glazed eyes. She hadn't realized how much he was enjoying this until then. She smiled coyly and took his hand from around his waist. She turned him slowly so that they were in opposite positions. He was now against the rocks. She pushed him lightly until he understood; pulling himself up onto the rim, he was now sitting on the edge of the pool. Wryly, Kagome continued to push him. Still perplexed to this sudden change, he allowed her to push him until he was on the grass. She followed, her glistening, glorious body dripping over him. She knew what she wanted, and no one was going to stop her. Sesshoumaru smirked then, realizing.

By his feet, Kagome bent until she was on all fours. She crawled up his sinuous body, stopping at his length, with bobbed in excitement at the new development. Slowly, she grasped it and he growled low, his eyes closing on their own. She stroked once, her hand gliding on the satiny still-damp skin. The growl continued as he expected more of this – how much more could he take? But there was a brief pause and he almost opened his eyes… until he felt the most amazing sensation. His little Kagome had her lips parted slightly on the tip of his cock.

Shock coursed through him – _what was she doing?_ But when she moved again, he could think of nothing else – _oh GODS don't let her stop_. She had pushed forward, letting her lips drag across his wet flesh as she took his engorged member into her mouth deeply. She slowly pulled back, and he hissed from the loss and pleasure. But then she repeated her actions, a little faster this time. She was surprised at how much it turned her on, especially when she watched his face as his expression turned from pained to blissful and back again. She could feel her own ache, duller now but still present.

Suddenly he pulled away from her, and his ragged panting immediately told her that he had been close. Like her, he wanted to prolong this. He was on his elbows now, his eyes wide with awe. But she didn't allow him to rest long. She knew he was going to need a little break, so she opted for pleasing herself. The little ache she felt was insistent and she reached down to relieve it. Her legs were spread on either side of Sesshoumaru's, so he had quite the view when the little miko touched herself, making herself gasp in pleasure. She experimented, rubbing with force, then trying it faster. So caught up was she in her ministrations that she hadn't noticed that her left hand had reached up and plucked at her nipple. The double sensation drove her mad with need: she needed release, even though her original intent had been to prolong their joining.

Sesshoumaru had only been able to stare in amazement as his woman pleased herself. Unable to join in because he enjoyed watching, he could only allow his gaze to roam over her beautiful flesh, although his eyes kept jerking back to her hands as she moaned in pleasure. But he was unable to simply watch anymore. Sitting up, he frowned as he grabbed her hands. She opened her eyes, smirking as she watched his displeasure at her inattentiveness. But then his hands replaced hers, and she had to steady herself by holding onto his broad shoulders. But he applied little pressure to either region, making her move forward slowly. Before she knew it, Kagome was straddling the Taiyoukai, her womanly core rubbing against his throbbing manhood. Done with all other matters, Kagome felt this was it – what she had longed for. Smacking his hands away and pushing him roughly down, Kagome placed her arms on either side of his shoulders.

Slowly, to drag out the moment, Kagome lowered herself onto him, and they both hissed from the satisfaction. When Kagome had gone down as low as she thought possible, Sesshoumaru's hands flew to her hips, impaling her upon himself. She cried out desperately, her hands balling up into the soil. He enjoyed this new sound – it was edgier than her usual moans. She moved, desperate for the feeling again. She drew out almost completely, then forced herself on him. Sesshoumaru was pleased with this development; he was free to do other things to her as she did the work. One hand stayed on her hip, lending his strength, while the other caressed a breast. She moved lithely, like a snake, as she stirred in such a way that both ground onto his cock and moved into his hand at the same time. Yes, Sesshoumaru could get used to this.

He took the nipple in between his fingers and pinched; she gasped and her eyes flew open. It had been like a lightning bolt to her core, and she was not ready for that to be the end. She ground more desperately, feeling the ache inside her throb more insistently. He played with her breast, trying not to send her over the edge too quickly – he was having too much fun. But Kagome couldn't get enough. She needed more.

Her hands, covered in dirt from her clenching fists, found themselves on his shoulders. They crept towards her slowly as she pushed onto him. She made a connection and realized that her ache deepened as her hands came closer – as she was pushed further into an upright position. Upright?

She pushed off Sesshoumaru's arms, and suddenly, he was touching an unmentionable part of her inside… She gasped – the feeling was incredible. He was just so… deep. Not needing anymore motivation than that, she ground her hips and cried out from the intensity.

"Oooh… Sesshoumaru…"

His answer was a deep, rumbling growl. He had seen the shift in her expression and knew this was it for her. She would finish this way, and he was going to help her. Intense now, he lifted his hips while she moved and she gasped again – how could he possibly get any deeper without popping out her back? – but didn't want it to stop. With his impossible stamina, he rose his hips to meet hers and she felt the ache within her turn into a spring, tightening with every thrust. But now, Sesshoumaru felt it was he that would come first. The deepness of their connection… it was impossible, and he wasn't going to last.

He kept up his thrusting, but the next time he gazed upon his little miko, she was again taking matters into her own hands, grasping both nipples as she bounced on top of him. She groaned and panted, so many intense feelings she didn't know which way was up. That image was it for him, and he called out her name just before he snarled, letting go. He came hard – he was unable to keep thrusting, little tremors taking over as he spilled into her. But Kagome wasn't done. His deep growling had tightened her spring further, and as it prepared to unravel, she drove herself into a frenzy, rocking on top of him and pinching her little pink peaks until they ached. She tortured him, his sensitive cock begging for the tremors to stop as she tightened, tightened, tightened…

And then it sprung. Kagome screamed as she became undone, seeing black and white at the same time. She could barely move as she felt the climax ease up, little by little. A deep contentment washed over her and she began to move down so that she was again on her hands, then she lowered herself until their heaving chests met.

&&&&& END MATURE CONTENT &&&&&&

Sesshoumaru was sure he had never met such a creature. She was incredible, this tiny, fragile, breakable woman. And yet she was so strong, so controlling, so demanding. Her movements commanded him, and he was content for it to be so. Everyone thought him terrifying – he was the only one that needed to know that she was the only one capable of having power over him.

He noticed that her breathing was more controlled now, and although he enjoyed her flushed skin and little pants, he knew that she desperately needed sleep. Even though she more than made up for it with her enthusiasm and eagerness, she didn't have the stamina he did. So he stroked her back, allowing her to calm and perhaps drift to sleep. He pushed the hair from her face, and she had a contented smile on her face, although her eyes where closed. He stroked her face, and her smile widened as she opened her cerulean eyes.

Kagome hadn't been prepared for the overwhelming warmth she saw in his golden eyes. They were filled with such love and kindness that Kagome felt like nothing bad could ever touch her again. She felt insanely secure, more so than ever. After all, what was there to fear, when her lover was the most powerful being on earth? Winding her arms around him until they could go no further because of the grass, she happily sighed and let her eyes drift close.

Sesshoumaru could feel her joy radiating from her, and if he could purr, he would. He settled for holding her. But she was fighting sleep, and he would not be completely content until she was resting. Once it was decided, the demon sat upright, bringing her with him. She looked at him, puzzled, but he didn't explain. Instead, he completely lifted her, letting her legs dangle as he brought her into the water once again. He could see she was ready to protest, but he silenced her with a tender kiss. Then he took each of her hands and rubbed them meaningfully in the water. She watched in amazement as he cleaned her, attempting not to be erotic. She couldn't help, however, the tingle she felt when he washed her breasts. She flushed, although she could feel that she was too tired to go for another round.

Sesshoumaru fought a grin as he noticed her arousal. He knew she was fighting that as well, so he continued. He washed her knees, her back, her neck… And then she began to wash him as well. His arms and shoulders were a muddy mess from her dirty hands combined with their sweat. And so they lovingly caressed each other until they were clean. At that point, Sesshoumaru lifted the woman into his arms before leaping out of the water. He covered her in his kimono, although she tried to refuse it, and once they were both appropriately clothed, they lay in the grass, holding each other. Sesshoumaru watched her sleep for a few hours before succumbing to his own fatigue, an apprehension gripping him so that he fought against it. But he couldn't fight it for long, and soon he fell asleep.

**************

The flashes of his memory ripped through his mind, tearing open old wounds and creating new ones. Most of them were of him doing horrible, unspeakable things. And _enjoying_ it. There were sparse moments where he would remember the things he had done to help or things that didn't benefit himself. But they were far and few between. He remembered the bloodlust, the joy of killing, the power of taking the lives of others…

And then, abruptly, his vision shifted. Completely black, there was only a light shining down in the middle of nowhere like a spotlight. There was a figure there, in the light. He ran towards it, wondering if this was something he could kill. As he neared it – much too quickly for anything to escape his grasp – he saw the back of a woman. She reached up and shook her hair, as if impatient, waiting for someone. The shiny, coal-black tresses waved methodically, and Sesshoumaru bore down on her, one clawed hand ready. Then she turned…

Sesshoumaru almost choked, his mind tearing him in two directions. Conflicted, he could feel the burning desire to kill this creature, but also felt the raging need to protect her. When she faced him, her eyes where so filled with love and adoration that it stopped him cold. His poisonous talons, upraised and dripping with need, were poised to strike. His other hand was balled into a fist, ready to punch himself right in his face if he should try to harm her. He was immobile, unable to do either, but wanting to do both. She smiled then, reaching for him slowly… His protective longing began to win, pushing aside the part of him that wanted nothing more than her blood on his hands. Was this how it was to be? Constantly caught in a war between killing a creature who had shown him immense kindness and trying to keep her from being harmed… by his own hands?

There had to be another way. It wasn't always those two options, he remembered. The year that they fought Naraku, he was learning tolerance for all creatures, and had even learned to value some forms of life. He had risked life and limb for the girl… Rin? Yes, Rin. He had been to hell, and within the disgusting beast that called itself Naraku. It was there that he saved Kagome from his own brother as he was driven mad by their fathers' blood…

Yes. At the time, he was merely protecting a source of life, but he was also protecting his brother. So there was another option. He didn't have to kill her. But there was no way for him to love her, because at any moment, he could kill her. How could he protect her when the only thing to protect her from is himself? And then his heart tore into two pieces in his chest, making it impossible to breathe. Kagome still stood, her arm outreached towards his doubled-over figure, still smiling. He dropped to his knees, clutching his chest, trying to claw out the source of his pain. But then he realized his heart was already in his hand, dripping blood down his arm, onto the bottom-less, black floor. Horrified, he clutched at his chest again, this time searching for the hole that should be there.

But there was no hole. And when he looked at the heart again, he noticed that it was not a whole heart, but half of one. And as he kneeled before her, one hand to his chest and the other outstretched with half his heart in it, Kagome – still smiling adoringly – reached further towards him and took the piece of heart he held. Horrified, he watched as she held it to her own chest. She smiled down at it and closed her eyes. And then, in a flash of light, it was gone, absorbed into her. She looked up at him, still eternally loving, still adoringly smiling down at him.

"Thank you," she said in a whisper.

And then she was gone. And the ache in his chest brought him to all fours. He was irreparable – the pain wouldn't stop. He wanted to cry out to her, he wanted to kill something. Anything, as long as this feeling would dissipate. And then he heard his own voice.

"You."

Now-Sesshoumaru spun to find then-Sesshoumaru avoiding Inuyasha's swipe and ending up right in the face of then-Kagome. She recoiled from him in fear as she held Tessaiga in her hand. He coldly regarded her. Now-Sesshoumaru looked on anxiously, although he knew she would be fine, if now-Kagome was still alive.

"What are you… that you were able to draw the Tessaiga?" then-Sesshoumaru drawled.

"D-don't come any closer! I'll slice you!" then-Kagome yelled valiantly, brandishing the rusty, dull sword. Now-Sesshoumaru smirked at her gumption.

Inuyasha, still handicapped from then-Sesshoumaru's hand-through-the-eye technique, finally caught up to them, waving around threats of his own, although they had no purchase.

"Get away from her, Sesshoumaru! She's not part of this!" he cried, rushing towards his elder brother.

Now-Sesshoumaru growled, his lip curling above his teeth, baring his fangs. How dare the hanyou attempt to champion his woman! But he was well aware that he could do nothing but relive this moment, and so he came closer to the scene that played out before him. But as his brother came closer to then-Sesshoumaru and Kagome, she cried out for him.

"Inuyasha!" Worried for him in his disadvantaged state but unable to get past Sesshoumaru, she only wanted to warn him to stay away. But he assumed the role of her protector, and would never relent.

Now-Sesshoumaru felt his blood boil when he heard her cry out for him. His rolling snarl would have deterred the most lethal demons, but it went unheard here, except by his own ears. He was obviously the odd man out here; a pawn in a game between his brother and his miko. He watched with growing pleasure as the past version of himself readied his toxic claws.

"Alas, I'm afraid she is. Merely by being your companion," he sneered over his shoulder before turning his attention back to the young then-priestess. And with a flick of his wrist, he released his venomous spray.

Foolishly, she tried to block with his father's heirloom, but even as she screamed, the poison melted everything around her, even turning into poisonous fumes as the bones turned to mush.

Now-Sesshoumaru hadn't expected this. Even though he had begun to feel hatred for the two, he didn't think he was capable of actually harming her. But as he watched in dread, the walls of bone melted, covering her in acidic muck. Again, he knew he could do nothing but look on in anguish.

Inuyasha, slow compared to his brother, was frozen in shock. But suddenly he was moving again, faster than ever. He reached the point where the melted blob of bones and Kagome lay and reached in, trying to pull her out. But the bubbling acid was too strong. Even as he pulled his hand out, his skin peeled and ripped as it was eaten by the poison. He watched for signs of life, but there was nothing but the popping sounds of the melting bones.

"How dull. She was only a mortal girl after all," then-Sesshoumaru said in a bored tone.

Inuyasha, motionless for a few moments, started to growl. He made a fist, obviously intending to hit Sesshoumaru. His ears flattened against his head, Inuyasha spun. "SESSHOUMARU!"

"This Sesshoumaru grows bored with this. Die," then-Sesshoumaru said calmly, reaching with his own attack. Now-Sesshoumaru felt his anger welling again – to hear his brother avenging Kagome so fiercely made him want to rip Inuyasha's throat out.

Both now- and then-Sesshoumaru were surprised at the suddenly lightning-fast hanyou. He landed a hit, although Sesshoumaru was still too fast for it to be serious. He was twenty feet away in the blink of an eye. Now-Sesshoumaru suddenly noticed Jaken, squawking in the corner about how much faster Inuyasha suddenly was.

With a smirk, then-Sesshoumaru addressed his brother, attempting to goad him further.

"Why so angry, Inuyasha? There are a million more where she came from…"

Even in his anger, now-Sesshoumaru growled at his past words. Nonsense. There were none like Kagome. She was a singular star, brighter than any other. Inuyasha interrupted his thoughts, speaking in a low voice and stretching his claws, supposedly for another attack.

"This time, I'll rip your bowels from your belly!" But instead of attacking, he seemed to be lost in thought, his face torn.

Just then, there was a small sucking sound, and the brothers turned towards the pile of goo. Shocked beyond belief, they watched as Kagome popped out from the mess as if she had merely been under a blanket, instead of an acidic layer of melted bones. Even now-Sesshoumaru thought his eyes were going to pop out in his astonishment. By the very laws of nature, she should be dead!

"Fleh!" she said, wiping goop away from her face. "Man! I thought I was dead!"

As if he didn't have anything better to say, Inuyasha just stared. "Oh… yeah?" he said as if commenting on the weather.

Relief poured over now-Sesshoumaru, and then he became amused with her antics. Typical Kagome. Although it seemed that then-Kagome wasn't nearly as powerful as now-Kagome. Otherwise she would have purified the jyaki and his former self, for which he was grateful that she hadn't.

Then-Kagome pointed Tessaiga at then-Sesshoumaru as he looked on, bored again. Inuyasha looked exasperated.

"O-kay, you! You tried to kill me, didn't you?"

Now-Sesshoumaru grinned. Then-Kagome was quite cheeky, wasn't she?

"Well, you're gonna regret that! I'm about to make you pay!"

Was she going to use her powers now?

With a smile on her face, she turned to Inuyasha, handing him Tessaiga. He took it, although he still looked a little put out.

"Here," she said.

"Right," he murmured.

"This sword looks really awesome," she encouraged. "Go to it!"

Inuyasha narrowed his eyes at her, still not believing what he was seeing. "Tell me… Why are you suddenly so… bouncy?"

Now-Sesshoumaru listened as his past self figured out what had happened.

"Of course. The shield spell… shielded her."

Myouga, amazingly present, spoke to Inuyasha from atop his shoulder. "Lord Inuyasha, don't hold back anymore! Bite the cur deep… with your father's fang!"

Tired with the proceedings, then-Sesshoumaru began to let his youki take over. It howled for Inuyasha's blood, and the transformation began.

As his eyes bled crimson, he addressed his brother. "Feh. Another little joke? Let us see what a half-breed like you can do with the purity of the Tessaiga... Against the equal purity of this Sesshoumaru…"

His speech cut off as his face lengthened into a muzzle filled with razor-sharp teeth. His hands became paws as he turned to all fours, crushing the bones beneath him with his massive weight. He was in his true form now, a giant, white dog.

Inuyasha stood in front of Kagome, attempting to protect her. "He's… he's…"

"Back in his true form, that's all," Inuyasha finished for her. The dog swung its' massive head towards them. "It'll be a dead form now!" he cried as he leapt up to strike. He hit Sesshoumaru square on his crescent moon, but the dull sword did no damage whatsoever. It did, however, vibrate and ring from the impact. "EH?!" the hanyou exclaimed in surprise. "Not a scratch?!"

Sesshoumaru's jaws snapped at him on the way down and Inuyasha barely missed becoming a chew toy. He landed, but sprung away just in time for Sesshoumaru's teeth to smash into the thousands of bones on the floor where his brother had just stood.

Inuyasha, frustrated, turned to the little flea demon on his shoulder. "You bloody little dog-sucker – what is this?" The old flea hopped and cried out in his anxiety, but Inuyasha wasn't done. "I thought this sword was supposed to slice through anything!"

"Look out!" the tiny youkai warned as a giant paw came smashing down.

Inuyasha leapt deftly out of the way, although the claws of the giant dog were – as in his humanoid form – poisonous. The gouged a pit in the floor, and it melted into a pool.

"Listen well while you can, Lord Inuyasha!" Myouga warned. "That blade is a piece of your dear, departed General father! You must have faith in its' demonic powers, and never let it out of your grasp! Remember my words!"

Now-Sesshoumaru realized how true those words rang. His brother – at the time – had no idea that the sword had also been made to heel his demonic blood. How naïve he had been to be jealous. How he had coveted that sword…

"That said… see you in the next lifetime!" Ah, now that was the Myouga we all knew and loved. Running away as usual…

"Hey!" Inuyasha yelled. "Stop, you!" Regardless, Inuyasha couldn't halt. The gigantic white dog was constantly looming over him, and he was in a constant mode of evasion.

As another paw came crashing down, Inuyasha swiped at it. It hit its' mark, but did no damage.

"That's it, Inuyasha! That one hurt him! Give him some more!"

Now-Sesshoumaru scowled, hating his brother for the position he had been placed in and hating the woman for loving his brother. She was actually cheering for him to get hurt!

Inuyasha was peeved. He jumped over to her. "Listen here… that didn't even make him blink, all right?"

"Well, not yet…" she added innocently. "But you've got your father's sword, right? C'mon! I believe in you! Don't you?"

He scowled back at her. "Keh. I wouldn't be so cheerful if I was you," he said petulantly. "I'm strong enough to survive his blows, but you'll be jelly soon."

"Y-you mean… you're giving up?" she said quietly with tears in her eyes.

Inuyasha was temporarily stunned. Then he became angry. "Stop that right now!"

"Y-you said I shouldn't be-"

"Shut up! I meant, let me protect you! Do you hear me?!"

Now it was Kagome's turn to be shocked. "Eh?"

Inuyasha turned towards Sesshoumaru, walking away. "Just sit tight and watch."

Speechless, Kagome could only do what he commanded.

Inuyasha faced the huge form in front of him and held out the sword. As he did, it pulsed. He, then-Sesshoumaru, and even now-Sesshoumaru felt it. Tessaiga was awakening.

And now-Sesshoumaru had an epiphany. His arrogant past self had merely thought that Inuyasha had simply learned to feel Tessaiga's energy, or perhaps it had been a fluke. But now, as an observer, he really saw. It had been Kagome that pulled the sword out. And it was she that inspired Tessaiga to awaken for Inuyasha. It had been no fluke. As if it were fate. As if she had been made for Inuyasha.

And now-Sesshoumaru, although he was asleep, felt his eyes bleed crimson as his youki called out for revenge against the traitorous brother and the phony woman.

******************

The skies were still a deep blue color when Kagome woke up, an intense feeling of discord inside her. She had had possibly the best night of her life, but she felt something was amiss. She realized that she was sleeping in Sesshoumaru's arms which soothed her momentarily. She heard him making sounds in his sleep… it sounded like he was growling. Kagome fought back a giggle – but if he started moving his legs like he was chasing after something, she was going to lose it.

One of his arms was draped over her, and she realized it was tightened into a fist. Could he be dreaming more of his memories? She looked up at his beautiful face… and wished she hadn't. He was definitely asleep, but his face was in a fearsome scowl. Whatever he was remembering, it wasn't pleasant.

Although she was happy to help him when the bad memories came back, it usually stirred bad memories of her own – and unwanted feelings. She was amazed at how versatile Sesshoumaru was. Underneath it all, he was a very smart and practical being. If she tried to make him see the glass as half full, he would often accept it that way. There were – of course – times when he would only see it his way. But you can only lead a horse to water…

Idly, she wondered if he looked like this every time his memories flooded through him. But… no. Probably not. He looks furious. And he hadn't been too angry the times he had come to her for advice. Kagome began to wonder what memory it was. Was it something from the time she had known him? There were only two or three memories of him that she remembered that he had not spoken of. Perhaps it was of a younger memory? He didn't speak of his upbringing. Maybe they were too painful for him to talk about. Could that be why he seemed like he was about to kill something?

Kagome slipped from his arms and began to dress in her own clothes. Although it was warm in the cave, some of the cooler air from outside blew in and she was chilly, now that she wasn't in the demon's embrace. She looked back at him and he seemed more reserved. She sighed happily, hoping it was over. As a chill rolled up her spine, Kagome thought ruefully about Rin, Jaken, and Ah-Un. While she and Sesshoumaru had spent the night in the warm cave, they had to brave the cold night outside near the forest. Well, she would make sure that wouldn't happen again. What if the fire had burned out? Rin could become ill…

She glanced back at Sesshoumaru, who looked even angrier than before, if that was possible. With a worried frown on her own face, Kagome left the shelter of the cave to check on the younger girl.

Of course, they were used to this. They had lived this way for almost three years – outdoors, with no home or place they came back to often. When she came upon them, Rin and Jaken were both cuddled up to the two-headed dragon. They were not touching, of course, but Rin had a blanket draped over both of them. The dragon itself – she knew from experience – was quite warm and the cold didn't seem to affect it. The fire, however, was very low. It seemed that the winds had blown a few pieces of its' fuel out of reach. Kagome picked up the stray sticks and dried foliage and placed them back into the fire, which crackled happily.

Sitting near the fire, she wondered what they were going to do today. In the past week it had gotten even colder, so there would be no swimming. Oh! Rin's kimono should be done… they could go pick it up. She should have checked yesterday while she was in town. Kagome blushed lightly, remembering that she could only think of seeing Sesshoumaru yesterday. For a few minutes, Kagome remembered the anxiety that had flooded her when she was separated from her youkai. And the immense relief – like drinking milk after eating something too spicy – she felt when she finally saw him. It was like all of a sudden, all was right. Without her noticing, the sky had lightened to a pinkish color. Then it had turned orange. The sun was about to rise.

She heard a yawn, and it was Rin. The girl was waking, and she saw Kagome immediately. Not wanting to wake anyone else, she only smiled to the older woman. The miko smiled back and Kagome stood; she knew she should get back to Sesshoumaru. Rin tried to sit up, but the too-small kimono restricted her movement. The girls giggled quietly, and Rin stood, stretching. One of the dragon's two heads looked up at the two and yawned. Then they heard something that sounded like a roar nearby. Afraid that a bear or another youkai had scented them, Kagome stood in front of Rin. She wished she had her bow and quiver, but she didn't think she would need them, being that Sesshoumaru was so close.

Speaking of which… where was he? He should have heard that, sleeping or not. And he should be here by now.

"S-Sesshoumaru?" Kagome called out tentatively, just loud enough that she knew he would hear from the cave.

They heard the enraged roar again, and they both froze. Ah-Un was on its' feet now, on alert. In the process, it had dumped Jaken on the floor, and he was trying to regain his sense of consciousness now.

"W-what? Where?"

"That's…"

Rin didn't need to finish the sentence. Kagome knew exactly who it was.

They all stood, frozen as stone, facing the waterfall. Within a few seconds, a white figure appeared. It stalked menacingly towards the little group. Kagome wondered why he was so angry. Was it because she hadn't been there when he woke up? Had he been concerned? But as he came closer, she – as well as the others – could see that his eyes were a bright red. Ah-Un grunted nervously. Jaken scooted backwards to the dragon's flanks. Rin, already behind Kagome, gripped her sweater but did not cower. She wasn't afraid of Sesshoumaru. But Kagome, even though she had shared passion with the demon, was afraid.

This was not a normal reaction. The last time he woke up from regaining bad memories he had snapped at her. Could the same have happened? But it wouldn't change him, would it? Could it? Last week he had apologized afterwards, realizing his mistake. But right now, he looked… murderous.

He was only halfway to them when he started to speak, and Kagome recognized the growly, inhuman voice from when she had seen him transform. Was he really going to transform right now?

"Humans. Leave my lands."

Rin and Kagome looked at each other and back to him. Did he mean them? Or were there others in the forest, where they couldn't see?

"S-Sesshoumaru-sama?" Rin ventured.

"GO!" he snapped.

They started, but neither could seem to believe what was happening. Sesshoumaru was kicking them out? Why?

"Sesshoumaru-sama…"

A snarl ripped through his throat before he took a swipe at the girl, but luckily Ah-Un had been just as quick, zapping his arm with a bolt of lightning. He growled at the beast, but the dragon didn't seem to mind. Kagome, stunned, pushed Rin towards the pack youkai. Rin held tightly to her, not wanting to be separated in this confusing tirade, but Kagome expertly unfurled her fingers and the dragon pushed the girl up onto its' back.

Then, Kagome turned her attention to the demon lord.

"Sesshoumaru, what's going on? Why are you doing this?"

"Do not speak to this Sesshoumaru, lowly human. I do what I must."

Tears pricked at her eyes, the words stinging her. "Sesshoumaru, I thought we…" She couldn't quite convey the words. "I love you, Sesshoumaru," she whispered. The tears were flowing freely now.

She thought she saw his blood red eyes melt, but then there were like steel again.

"This Sesshoumaru does not love. Be gone, and take the girl with you."

"But Rin… she's been with you all this time. You're like a father to-"

"THIS SESSHOUMARU HAS NO FAMILY!" he roared, making them all flinch.

"Y-you… you said…"

Kagome paused, feeling a tug on her sweater. She turned to find Rin there, a pink backpack in her hand and a rejected look on her face. Kagome wondered if Rin mirrored her own face, tears and all.

Kagome, attempting to save face, turned back to Sesshoumaru, a scowl on her face.

"If you don't love me, that's fine. But don't take this out on Rin. She belongs here."

"I have no place with _humans_," he spat. "Leave, or face my claws."

Turning quickly, Kagome grabbed Rin's hand and ran.

--------------------End Chapter------------------------

Thanks:

To my peers at Inuyashafan-fiction: dirtydogs57, SilverRaven, and snowbird.

: Missy Misa – YourLastNightmare

deviantART: Cali2007 and Daddyslilgirl01

MediaMiner replies: **DivaG** – Yes, it HAS been some time since I've seen you! I'm glad you're enjoying, I just hope you stick with me for this one. Some people might not like where it's headed, but I promise that the end will be great. And yes, because he was like, this entirely shiny new being, he was capable of things no one knew was possible. Of course, it seems that's all ended. In fact, it looks like he's even worse than before. But if that were entirely true, then he would have killed Rin and Kagome. *grin*

**buzzk97** – ok, have I let you down now? Lol I hope you can understand that I haven't abandoned the SessKag-iness of this story. As for your question of "Will Inuyasha ever tell Kagome that he wanted to marry her?" … Well, I hope you can guess the answer. C'mon, I believe in you! YOU CAN DO IT! This story's gonna be crazy in many ways. I hope you stick around. *wink*

**Waterunleashed** – Thanks so much! Personally, I haven't read any of those stories, but I've been hearing about them at all my sites in my reviews. I'm glad that everyone pretty much feels like you do, that my story has a different feel to it. I hope this chapter has answered all your questions, but I also hope it hasn't turned you away from the story. Thanks for reading!


	10. X

A/N: I love all of you guys. I'm sorry I have no specific shout-outs, but I've been working non-stop on this, and I literally wrote half of this chapter tonight – or should I say this morning. I've been working on it since about one in the morning, and it's now a little after 7. So I'm a little exhausted, though I'm really happy with this chapter and story in general. I DO, however, want to give extra-special thanks to my reviewers at **Dokuga** that have not only welcomed me with open arms but some of the readers that knew my work already encouraged me. So much love to all of you – you're the best.

Reviews are fuel and love, which is how I was able to get this out to you all so quickly. Thanks so much, everyone at mediaminer, deviantART, , and especially my home site, . Thanks for all the support!

*MINOR WARNING FOR LANGUAGE* lolz, sorry, it's an Inuyasha-heavy chapter. ^^

**That's the Way Love Goes**

Chapter X

In the past few weeks, Kagome had been back and forth the way from Edo to their – no, _the_ waterfall – enough times to know the way. But she couldn't focus, couldn't think. Which way was east? Were they going the right way? She was strangely numb, as if someone had opened up her head and dipped her brain in freezing water. Of course, it may have had something to do with the cool winter air, but the fact that it was chilly out barely registered.

All she could hear were Rin's desperate pleas to go back and her own mind, echoing his words.

'_I have no place with humans…' 'THIS SESSHOUMARU HAS NO FAMILY!'_

What had happened? What had she done? Was this a product of his dreams? Did his memory finally come back? But Kagome refused to believe that he could simply change so dramatically… Her mind treacherously reminded her that he had done a complete 180 when he lost his memory. Why not the other way around? Although, what they had experienced a few hours ago was more like the universe turning in on itself, rather than just a change of heart.

How could he do this to her? How could he do this to _Rin?_ As she thought of the girl, Rin jerked her hand away. Kagome spun to catch her.

"You can't! He'll kill you!"

"That's ridiculous, Kagome! Sesshoumaru-sama loves me," she said stubbornly, glaring at the miko.

_He loved me too_, Kagome's mind whispered treacherously, her eyes turning to her feet.

The look of complete loss did not go unnoticed. Guilt and remorse flooded through Rin, and she returned to Kagome to embrace her. She wasn't the only one mourning, and the older woman was right. Sesshoumaru had addressed her as he spoke, and he was serious. She hadn't ever thought of this as an outcome. It was… impossible.

"He loved both of us," the girl said softly.

"W-why…" Kagome choked out as the sobbing finally caught up to her.

Rin could only hold her friend until the sobs slowed enough for them to walk.

~~~~~%~~

Sesshoumaru paced the camp, wanting to slice every tree in the area to shreds. He knew this was not productive, but he just felt the need to kill something. It wouldn't be prudent to kill Jaken – he wouldn't be able to bring the little toad back again. And it didn't feel right even thinking about doing so to the dragon. So he paced some more.

Why was he so angry? Was he angry at them, or at himself? Why should he be angry at himself? He did nothing wrong. He simply cast away the humans that had attached themselves to him. And as the current Inu no Taishou, anything he said or did was right. Who was anyone else to question him? If they were not happy with his decision, then they had no business being here. Which they didn't. Which is why he was correct. But he was always correct anyways, so it didn't matter. So there.

A small part of Sesshoumaru's brain reminded him that he was acting like a petulant child. He quickly told this part of himself to shut up, your opinion is not needed, thank you.

Well, perhaps sending Rin away was a bit much. But how else was he supposed to get Kagome to leave? She wouldn't have believed him – stubborn, obstinate woman – if he had merely said he didn't love her. Which he absolutely did _not_.

Simply thinking those words sent a pain through him which settled in his stomach. Memories of the time he spent with Kagome flooded his mind. Caring, loving, trusting Kagome. Tenacious, headstrong, uncompromising Kagome.

With a few leaps, Sesshoumaru went into the forest, hoping there would be a demon nearby that would give him at least an inkling of a fight.

~~~~~%~~

It was almost dark when Rin finally stumbled over the hill that allowed them to see the growing city of Edo. She pulled on Kagome's hand, dragging her along. Her own tears, for now, refused to spill. Kagome had finally grown quiet; Rin assumed she had nothing let to cry out. They hadn't stopped to eat or drink, or even to relieve themselves.

Kagome had wanted to stop, but Rin hadn't allowed it. The miko had begun to argue with her, telling her that Sesshoumaru wasn't coming after them. Rin had smiled piteously; the more sensible girl in times of crisis, she had pointed out to Kagome that Sesshoumaru wasn't always the most dangerous thing in the wilderness. Kagome had wanted to object – Sesshoumaru might as well have killed her, the way she felt right now – but she wasn't in the mood for a pity party. And although Kagome could, in fact, be considered quite dangerous herself where youkai were concerned, she was pretty much useless right now. So they had trudged on.

Now that Kagome could see Edo – she could make the lights out in Sango's and Kaede's huts – she began to whimper. She didn't want to face them, her friends. They would all have judgment in their eyes. Sango had been wary; what would she tell her now? Miroku had supported her. And Inuyasha… The thought of how Inuyasha would react – would he be happy? Would he be angry? – made her eyes begin to sting again.

The momentum of gravity had them practically running down the hill, and then they were crossing the bridge over the river that marked the beginnings of the village. Weaving through the houses, Rin was about to stop at Sango's – she wanted to see Kohaku so badly – but Kagome desperately yanked her hand away, her wide, frightened eyes glancing in the direction of Kaede's. Rin understood, and they continued.

They were stopped, a few yards away from the older miko's hut. There was a possibility that Inuyasha would be there, stopping in for dinner. Kagome was unable to move another step. Again, Rin understood. She motioned for Kagome to stay where she was, and Kagome could only stare at her, looking like she was about to bolt. Rin disappeared after knocking meekly on the home's doorframe.

She reappeared only a few seconds later and the young girl waved at Kagome. Hesitantly, the priestess moved towards the hut. She glanced everywhere, almost certain that one of her friends would pop out from somewhere. She didn't want to cry anymore. It hurt enough without the crying. Then she remembered Shippou; if Inuyasha wasn't here, however, the kitsune was probably with him.

When she stepped inside, Kagome found only a worried-looking Kaede and a somber Rin. She felt she could deal with them. _Ask Kaede to look after Rin, get your things, and_ go.

"Kagome, dear, what has happened?"

"K-Kaede-sama…" she began, but then her lower lip began to tremble. Her eyes began to fill with tears, and Rin rushed to her, her arms waving frantically.

Kaede was shocked. She had never seen Kagome in such a state. The girl always put on such a brave face.

The sobs finally broke free, and they spent the next few minutes trying to soothe the young miko. Luckily, Kaede was already finishing some stew and was readying tea when Rin showed up. Fixing them all a bowl, Kaede forced Kagome to eat something. She ate a few spoonfuls, but couldn't stomach any more. The ache filled her so badly that she couldn't even think about eating, and the smell made her feel nauseous. Oddly enough, she also felt so empty that surely she could use some food. Rin and Kaede watched her nervously. But she never regained use of her voice. Finally, the older woman asked Rin once again what happened. The girl wasn't sure she should say, but it didn't look like Kagome was going to explain any time soon.

With a sigh, Rin began. "I… I'm not really sure what happened. I woke up this morning, and Kagome was there, smiling. It looked like she had just fed the campfire…"

Kagome, remembering, began to wail. When she quieted some, Rin continued. "We were just talking… and suddenly, Sesshoumaru was yelling. He was so… _angry_. He… he told us to… leave."

Stirring more memories, Kagome was inconsolable. But she never stopped thinking about her friends and what they would say. No doubt soon, word would spread that someone was grieving in Kaede's hut. Sango would assume, and maybe even Inuyasha would hear word. She had to leave. Now.

"K-K-K-Kaede-sama…"

The other two females stared. It was the first she had spoken in an hour.

"P-please, l-look after R-R-Rin…"

"Of course, child, but-"

"K-Kagome? What… what are you-"

"I… I have to go. Please…" 

"But Kagome…!" Rin pleaded. First Sesshoumaru, now Kagome was going to leave her?!

"I… can't stay. I… I can't face them! I'm sorry, Rin. I'll come back one day, I promise…"

"ONE day? What…"

Kagome suddenly ran up to the girl and hugged her fiercely. Rin returned the embrace just as furiously, but Kagome broke away quickly. Rin tried to grab hold of her, wanted to make her stay, to understand. But there was no use. Kagome didn't know what else to do. What else was there, but to leave? She quickly grabbed her pink satchel and ran out, unawares of the golden eyes that watched her from atop the roof.

The familiar trail was worn after three years' use. There were no roots to trip her, or vines to tangle her ankles. But she stumbled anyways, constantly reaching out for something she couldn't quite grasp. It was always going to be just out of reach, wasn't it…?

She never stopped. When she reached the well, Kagome used her momentum to vault over the wall. With the first feeling of relief in hours, Kagome slipped through time to her home.

~~~~~%~~

Of course, the relief was only brief. She was away from judging eyes and berating words, but the crux of it was that there was still a rather large hole on her chest, and only a rather large demon could fill it. But that was impossible. Said demon had regained his memory, and his sanity. She had been living in a dream world, where someone had actually loved her. Had cared for her. Had not asked for anything in return.

Kagome, find the shards. Kagome, fix my problems. Kagome, heal my wound. Kagome, hold me up. Kagome, help me avenge…

It was too much. She had finally gotten her happily ever after, but she was neither happy, and she didn't feel the after. She felt… nothing. Oh, she could feel her stomach practically eating itself and her heart trying to claw its' way out, wanting to bury itself, away from her where it could mourn… And she wished she could. She wanted to. If she had the strength of a demon, or their claws, she would rip her own heart out and bury it somewhere, never to need or want it again. Or maybe toss it to a pack of stray dogs. Surely, they could get better use of it than she.

But she couldn't. So she settled for laying in her bed, curled into a fetal position, sobbing although there were no tears.

~~~~~%~~

It took about fifteen minutes. Without warning, Sango burst through the little hut's opening. Miroku was only two seconds after her. Kohaku was forced to squeeze in between his sister and brother-in-law since they had stopped so abruptly.

"What happened?" she demanded.

The older miko's eyes were downcast. She almost seemed as one did when one mourned the death of someone close. And – she almost stepped back in surprise, the shock was so sudden – the young ward of the Western Lord looked like she was grieving as well.

Miroku, always the astute one, immediately understood. "Ah, Rin…"

At the mention of her name in such a sad tone, Kohaku stepped up to the girl defensively. "What's going on?" he asked, frowning.

"So, then… Kagome?" Miroku's wise grey eyes turned to the old miko. She nodded in return, and Miroku's head hung in dismay.

"I _said_, 'what's going on'?" Sango repeated.

Kohaku gave a sharp little nod, seconding his sisters' consternation.

Kaede looked to the young girl at her side. It was her story to tell.

Rin noticed her scrutiny and looked up to Kohaku for support. There was so much worry in his eyes. And she felt even worse. She had lost a father. But Kagome had lost… _her Kohaku_. Rin closed her eyes, a new respect for the pain her friend was going through. If Kohaku had said such words to her…

She reached for the young man's hand, and he had no problem giving to her. Swallowing, Rin retold what she knew to the small audience.

~~~~~%~~

A few hours later, he was almost there.

Racing through the forest, he had crossed into Western territory with his heart in his throat and wanting blood on his claws.

He had listened until they had grown quiet with worry and grief. He had needed to get off the roof, because he was so close to demolishing the thatched roof of Kaede's home. It had taken an amazing amount of self-control, because he had wanted to destroy it. But that wouldn't be fair to the old woman, and she would surely make him pay for it later. And then he felt himself running.

He had followed the scent of Rin and Kagome's heavy trail. They had been so panicked, grieving as they ran, that it left a sharp, grey trail straight to a clearing with the beginnings of a small mountain. A lake wrapped around its' base, and a waterfall crashed into it from one of the mountain's cliffs. No doubt a river coursed around the mountain and ended here. The familiar edge of jealousy slashed across his mind, and he could just imagine Kagome singing to herself as she bathed in the clear lake.

White-hot as a blade, his youki called for some type of justice. Inuyasha sniffed, searching for his brother. He found a trail, followed it. He reached an area that had – in the recent past – included some very large trees. Not that he had much association with the foliage of this particular area, but that the evidence was everywhere. There were large, circular cuts of wood everywhere, most of them clawed straight through. The stumps of the former trees, however, were slightly melted.

_Whoa_, Inuyasha thought. _He seems pissed. Wait, what the fuck does_ he _have to be pissed about?_ Angrily, Inuyasha followed his brother's scent.

~~~~~%~~

He had to admit, it was somewhat relieving to release some of his poison. Merely cutting through the trunks had not been enough. He had taken to completely melting whole trees that were several times his height, and it relieved the anger somewhat.

Well, not really.

Sesshoumaru growled. He wasn't even able to lie to himself. Why was he so angry? Oh, that's right. Lowly humans attempting to get him to care and provide for them. His mind poked at him hard. He sighed to himself. Right, another lie. Neither Ri – _neither of the humans_, he corrected himself – had asked him for anything. Except for perhaps, himself.

And that was too much.

He could not – would not – associate with humans any longer. He was a strong Taiyoukai. He was not his father's son.

_But you are_, his mind whispered darkly, practically laughing. With a roar, Sesshoumaru turned back to the forest and turned another towering fir into a melted mess.

Watching the tree slowly turn into a glob of goo, he was suddenly reminded of that last dream. He saw Kagome melt under the power of his poison, although this time, he imagined her actually dying.

And something in his chest _twisted_ –

He suddenly didn't have the energy to melt anything anymore. Turning, he saw Jaken watching him with an oddly optimistic look on his toadly features. Narrowing his eyes at the little imp, he strolled back to the dragon, taking the reins.

Well, if he was done, he might as well find somewhere to camp for the night. He felt a strange tug in the direction of the waterfall, but ignored it. He hadn't taken but two steps in the opposite direction when he felt a familiar youki coming towards him swiftly.

Sesshoumaru sighed. Really, was this necessary right now? Suddenly he was very tired. Turning, he waited for the red and white blur to come crashing through the trees, wildly waving around their father's sword. He was not disappointed.

He had been, however, surprised at the hanyou's demeanor. He had expected for Inuyasha to come barreling towards him and starting, inevitably, a fight. Strange, how he had wanted, _needed_ a fight not long ago. And now, he just felt… nothing.

Instead, his brother stalked towards him, his jaw set, his shoulders squared, a look of determination on his face. Sesshoumaru attempted to suppress a sigh. He failed.

"What did you do?" Inuyasha asked when he was thirty or so meters away.

Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed. What business of his was it?

"Sesshoumaru…" the hanyou growled, "what did you _do?_"

He was losing his patience. He had no right to come onto his lands, demanding answers – that he was not going to give – and sneering his name. Sesshoumaru bared his fangs at his brother.

Inuyasha stopped when he was an arm's length away. His expression had only grown more sour, and now he was downright scowling. Well, two could play at that game. Sesshoumaru pulled together his mightiest scowl.

Through gritted teeth, Inuyasha tried one more time. "You asshole. What. The. Fuck. Did. You. DO?"

Sesshoumaru's hand shot out like a bullet, grabbing the hanyou by the throat. "Do not come onto my lands and presume to question me, lowly half-breed," he spat. "I put the humans in their place, and that is all."

"Did you… have to make them cry?" Inuyasha grunted as he tried to loosen his brother's grip, to no avail.

And _there_, Inuyasha saw the slight softening of the eyes that looked so like his own, but so different. Perhaps he had gone about this the wrong way… What would Kagome do? Scream at him and probably stamp her foot, along with threats of a 'sitting'. Wrong person. Sango? Murderous glare and waving Hiraikotsu around. No. Miroku, then? He would try to get more information out while trying to weasel some money out of his pockets. Well, the first part of that sounded good. Sesshoumaru didn't have any money anyways.

So… talk. To Sesshoumaru. In a… non-violent manner.

Right.

First thing's first.

Inuyasha finally freed himself of his brother's clawed hand, leaving long, bloody lines that would heal in a few hours. He had already allowed Tessaiga to revert to its' sleeping state, and now he sheathed it. Running a hand through his hair, Inuyasha looked up in time to find Sesshoumaru doing the same thing in the same way and froze.

Sesshoumaru noticed it too, but continued. After all, the hanyou was obviously copying him, since he was much older.

And then Sesshoumaru heard that intake of breath before speech and wanted to turn around and kill him. He wanted to burrow into the earth and sleep. He wanted to take to the skies and not look back. Anything but this – his brother trying to talk to him.

"Why?"

And in that one word, the entire world seemed to tip over, and he heard the hundreds of questions that stemmed from that one word. And then he heard the empty echo of the one that resounded, glanced into a hundred different directions in his mind.

… _Why are you doing this?_

He wouldn't think her name. He wouldn't remember her face. He wouldn't recall the way her hips felt in his hands. He wouldn't think of how frantic she had been about his wounds when she had far worse injuries. He wouldn't think of the foolish, selfless little miko.

He knew that if he did any of those things, he would waver. And that was something that Sesshoumaru – the sane, normal Sesshoumaru, not that sniveling, whimpering pup of an insane youkai he had been a day ago – did not do. Wavering was for lower youkai and humans.

"Why?" came the voice again, more insistent.

And hanyou. Yes, hanyou wavered too.

He glared at his brother. Obviously the whole ignoring bit wasn't working. The stubborn half-breed might be here all night – it was well on its' way to midnight by now – and if he had to hear him ask again he might rip his intestines out though his back…

"I am a Taiyoukai," he finally said, startling Inuyasha with his suddenly working larynx. "I am above humans. Why should I have them in my presence? They are not even worthy to be slaves…" Unbidden, a vision of Rin, shackled and being whipped, dirty and starved, flashed across his mind like a comet and he couldn't hold back the growl.

Inuyasha, unawares of his brother's turmoil, tried to sort through the answer. "You had no problem with them a few days ago," he said warily.

Sesshoumaru snapped out of his mental torture. "I was not myself," he growled. "It was the miko's fault."

"_Don't_ blame her, you oversized dog. She only tried to help you, and what did you do? Fucked her and left her. You're not a man. You're a fucking coward," Inuyasha spat out as he turned to leave.

He wasn't going to get far. Sesshoumaru had taken a moment to recover, his brother's words lashing him a little more than he preferred, but he had his own torment to inflict.

"Coward?" he said in such a curious tone that Inuyasha stopped, his back still to his brother. Sesshoumaru chuckled in a humorless way. "But my dear Inuyasha, you are the coward. Had you taken Kagome's hand, this would not have happened."

Inuyasha flinched, then spun, his hand on the hilt of his sword as he marched back towards his brother until he was in his face. "First, don't you _ever_ say her fucking name again. You hear me? Second, you don't know what you're fucking talking about. Mind your own damn business," he growled, teetering on the precipice of self-control.

Sesshoumaru grinned. "But brother, you are not minding _your_ own business. As a matter of fact, that's what caused this in the first place. Kagome told me all about how she waited for you to do something, promise something. She felt low and unworthy, and so I took her…"

This was the point in which Inuyasha began to see crimson, his own youki calling for Sesshoumaru's blood for impugning Kagome's honor.

"You. Fucking. Bastard."

Sesshoumaru grinned, although something told him he had pushed the hanyou too far. The jagged stripes of their father were making themselves known, and his eyes had turned crimson.

But then Inuyasha's hand was pulling Tessaiga out, and even though it wasn't transformed, he held it tightly, his knuckles turning white.

Sesshoumaru watched with interest as his brother calmed somewhat. The stripes dissipated and the eyes were once again like honey.

"I know what you did," came the sudden statement from Inuyasha.

Sesshoumaru glared. He wasn't sure yet what the hanyou implied, but he was sure he wasn't liking where this was going.

Inuyasha glowered back. Apparently, the bastard didn't know what he meant, otherwise the pompous bastard would have made another comment that was sure to piss him the hell off. His eyes narrowed further, trying to impress his fury onto his brother.

"I can feel you in her," he said finally.

A smirk began to grow across the youkai's lips. "That would be due to our recent activities…" Of course, this was meant to tease the hanyou, but had the unpleasant side effect of bringing up memories of her skin sliding on his, her ebony hair slipping on his chest, her breasts bobbing as she took her pleasure… He shook his head to get rid of the memories, and luckily, his brother hadn't noticed. He was too busy having a fit.

"Argh! No! You fucking bastard! No! GOD! Shut UP!" His chest was heaving as he tried to regain control again. "That's not what I meant, asshole. I think you know exactly what I mean. Your youki. I can feel it in her. What the fuck… how could you _do_ that and then just toss her like a bug?"

Unbidden, the memory of when he wasn't himself came to him. He recalled that day, the first time he had tasted her flesh. There had been that strange electricity… She had been so concerned, and accidentally taken in his youki along with his blood. He hadn't known what it was then, but now he knew, and remembered the pull –

- his youki roared inside him, begging for him to go after her –

- and he quashed it ruthlessly. Wasn't it the beast within him that had revolted so strongly when he remembered who he was? _What_ he was? What he was _not allowed to do_ because it was beneath his stature to do so? What was wrong with him? He was only grateful that the process hadn't been finalized.

_Damnit_. He would have been just fine without remembering that. Damn, annoying hanyou. They should all be eliminated. Starting with this one.

A gentle but cool breeze blew through the trees, the sound of the dead leaves like dried rice, and the brothers stared at each other. Neither was willing to admit a wrongdoing, and so it was pointless. Inuyasha turned to go.

"You didn't have to make her cry," he said again, walking through the trees.

Inuyasha knew that would be it, and it was quiet for some time as he sluggishly moved through the fallen, dried leaves. But then, so quietly, yet so filled with emotion that he was sure his brother had not meant him to hear…

"Yes. I did."

Inuyasha was as still as stone for a moment, and then he was off, flying back to the village he called home.

~~~~~%~~

Kagome felt like shit. She had thought about the word 'crap', but that just wasn't strong enough for her situation. 'Crap' was something you said when you failed a Japanese History test, or sliced your finger while chopping onions. So in her case, 'shit' was a much better word.

_Shit_, she thought as she rolled over in bed, her stomach still a bundle of knotted joy.

And then, because thinking it just didn't make her feel better, she said it out loud. "Shit," she said.

She was surprised that her voice was so weak and cracked. That, perhaps, might have something to do with crying for hours on end and going to sleep only to cry some more when you woke up. Oh, and let's not forget the part where her mother came running into her room and held her, not asking any questions, as if she had known this was going to happen.

And here she was, curled into a ball on her bed, with half of Sunday gone, her mother's well-intentioned but not-quite-digested breakfast down the toilet. And tomorrow, she had to go to school, cram, and then the following two days she would have to begin her final exams. _Shit_, she reiterated to herself.

And then, unbidden, a memory flashed across her mind. It pounced like a lioness clamping down on a zebra's throat and wouldn't let go. She remembered the way Sesshoumaru touched her face, caressed her back when he was trying to soothe her. But he wasn't here. He had banished her. And she was all alone…

The crying began again, and Kagome shoved her pillow over her head, not wanting to alert her mother. She allowed the sobbing to wrack her frame, and hoped she would cry herself into an exhausted sleep.

~~~~~%~~

"Inuyasha-sama, you have to go," Rin pleaded.

"Don't call me that," he spat.

She looked at the other members in the hut, confused.

"It is only that no one ever calls him 'sama', Rin. Except for Myouga, perhaps…" Miroku answered.

"Where is that little bug?" Inuyasha groused.

They ignored him.

"Inuyasha," she tried again, "you _have_ to go…"

Sango smiled. She liked Rin. She reminded her so much of Kagome. Perhaps if she had a girl…

Inuyasha sighed dejectedly, grabbing their attention. "I can't," he told them.

"Whyever not?" Miroku asked.

Inuyasha shot him a look. The monk's innocent expression was getting on his nerves. "Because," he finally lamented, "she has her final tests this week and I don't want her to be more upset."

"So you were paying attention," Kaede chimed in.

Inuyasha shot her a dirty look as well, but it was the equivalent of a child squeezing your hand.

"No," he said defensively, "I just remember her saying a long time ago that this was the week…"

Miroku had told Sango what the hanyou had revealed, so now the two of them remained silent. But they exchanged a silent glance. Would this be enough? She had been so happy the last time they saw her. Knowing her, she was probably afraid they were going to chide her for letting herself get hurt. So in the end, would Inuyasha be enough to comfort her?

Probably not.

Kagome was just as stubborn as the hanyou, and although she still loved Inuyasha as a friend, she probably held no other feelings for him. But perhaps it would be enough to get her to come back…

~~~~~%~~

There was a silver lining, of course.

It wasn't very bright. More like a dull grey lining. But better than nothing, right?

The one good thing in her life was the fact that once these few days were over, she would be out of school and would never have to look back. And since her mother and grandfather still lived at the house, there was no rush for her to take over. She could take her time; when she was ready, she would begin to take to her new role.

When she was ready…

It seemed, to her, that that day would never come. And she wasn't sure she wanted it to. For all the heartbreak, for all the pain… she had to admit that Sesshoumaru had given her something wonderful. And she wouldn't give that up. She wouldn't forget the times he had nuzzled her neck, breathing in her scent. She wouldn't forget the way his arms wound around her waist to draw her to him. And she wouldn't forget the way he smiled at her when she was helping Rin make their dinner.

With a sigh, Kagome trudged through her last real day, each teacher trying to re-teach the students everything they needed to know before the exams started tomorrow. And she took notes studiously, pushing away the thoughts whenever Sesshoumaru would slip across her mind. The only time her friends really became involved was at lunch, when she wouldn't eat anything; all she had was a cup of tea.

"Kagome-chan, what's wrong?" Ayumi asked.

"Is it that Inuyasha again?" Eri huffed, crossing her arms.

"I'm fine, you guys. Thanks for worrying, though," Kagome told them as she smiled weakly.

The three other girls looked at each other askance, then at her.

"It's someone else, then?" Eri wanted to know, her eyes gleaming with a predatory glint. "Are you two-timing the two-timer?"

"UGH!" Kagome grunted. "Listen, you guys. There's no one else." Well, it wasn't a lie. In fact, right now, she wasn't attached to any guy. "And stop calling Inuyasha a two-timer. He's been over her for a long time."

"But shouldn't you guys be, like, engaged or something by now?" Yuka prompted.

"Haha, yeah, or something…"

"Kagome…" Ayumi berated. "What's going on?"

Kagome wanted to scream. It hurt enough to discuss this with her real friends, the ones that knew her inside and out, the ones that knew about her other life. But to dance around questions and tell half-truths? She hated that. And she hated questions. If she didn't have Calculus next – and she _really_ needed to cram for that – she would leave school right now, probably running and screaming the whole way home.

Her friends weren't going to relent. They were frowning at her, obviously displeased that she had not shared this information previously. Only Eri seemed slightly worried.

"Well," she began, not really knowing what to say, "I kinda broke up with him. It just wasn't… going anywhere."

"I _knew_ it!" Yuka cried triumphantly. "You owe me a soda, Ayumi-chan." Turning back to Kagome with a suspicious grin on her face, she accused, "There _is_ another man."

Kagome was past annoyed by now. She wanted to tell them that _yes_, there had been someone else. Yes, he had been the sweetest, most gentle, most generous person, and a great lover as well. And he was beyond beautiful – because no human could be that handsome. But she couldn't, because things just weren't that way. Suddenly, she wanted to run to Sango. But over everything resounded the idea that this was all past tense; there _had_ been someone else. Now, there was no one. And that seemed to be all there was to say.

Angry now that she was forced to air her dirty laundry, Kagome gave them an impressive scowl, something she didn't have to learn from Sesshoumaru. She'd had plenty of practice with Inuyasha. "There _was_ someone else." They all looked shocked. It had been a guess, but they really hadn't imagined it being true. After all, they had seen the way she pined over Inuyasha.

You know what? Fuck it. Fuck it all. They wanted gossip? They were going to get it. Maybe then they'd leave her alone. "He was Inuyasha's brother," she said defiantly, daring them to say something.

Amazingly, her expression kept Ayumi and Yuka from saying anything. But as they walked to Calculus together and the other two scampered off to their own classes, Eri spoke to her.

"You loved him, didn't you?" There was a sad note in her tone that made Kagome take her friend seriously.

"Yes," Kagome said so quietly, Eri wouldn't have known she responded if she hadn't been looking directly at her and saw her lips move.

And then, as they entered the class, Eri put a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry."

And that was that.

~~~~~%~~

On Wednesday, in the afternoon, a hanyou jumped through a well. Then, he jumped through a window. And what he saw almost made him want to jump out and back into the well.

Kagome was laying on her bed, dark circles under her eyes from restless sleep, and at least five pounds lighter. She looked like she was in pain even in her sleep, and the room smelled like tears.

Remorse was his first reaction; to see her in so much pain was unbearable. Then came the anger. He almost left. She hadn't been so upset when she had left him. She had been… well, not happy, but not like… this. And that seemed to be the crux of it. He was stuck in emotional limbo, caught between an intense hate and deep sorrow for the girl in front of him.

In the end, there was nothing to do but sit and wait for her to wake up.

~~~~~%~~

It was about five in the morning – according to her clock – when Kagome woke up from a disturbing dream. Of course, she could feel it slipping from her even now, but she remembered the feeling of grief and the deep sense of loss. It took her a few moments to realize that she had woken up crying silently.

She wiped her face, and when she looked up, golden eyes met hers. She gasped and was disturbed to feel the intense hope that had flooded her for a second until she realized it was Inuyasha. Of course it was Inuyasha. Who else would it be? She almost laughed at herself, but couldn't find the humor to do so.

He was miserable. She had been crying in her sleep for the past twenty minutes and he wasn't sure what to do. Should he leave? Should he wake her up? Unsure, he could feel himself tearing into two pieces. He shouldn't' put himself through this. He should forget her. She broke his heart and didn't want him anymore. She loved another. Even now…

But…

He still loved her, too. And he knew how she felt because – even though he didn't run off to another era and cry and starve himself – he had felt the enormous weight of loss only a few weeks ago. And maybe, just maybe, if he hadn't been so stubborn, maybe she would have been there to comfort him. Then again, he probably wouldn't have wanted her to. But he should give her the benefit of the doubt. If she sent him away, then so be it. But he would stick around until she did.

And then he listened as her heart sped up and she started to wake up. She looked at the clock and suddenly noticed the tears. She scrubbed at her face and looked up…

And he couldn't help the pity he felt for her in that moment, when she looked so desperate and lost. And there was something else… For a second, he thought that maybe she mistook him for someone else as her eyes widened. But then she recognized him, and she looked so _defeated_. His eyebrows twisted as his expression turned to one of sorrow, and she understood.

She looked like she was going to cry again, and he got up to sit on the edge of her bed.

He wasn't good at this, god damn it, but he had to try. For her.

"I'm… sorry," he said.

Kagome would have laughed – he truly didn't sound sorry at all – but she had been so worried about his reaction that she was relieved. And his silly excuse of sympathy was _exactly_ what she needed.

Kagome threw her arms around him, startling the hanyou, and buried her face in his haori. At first, he wasn't sure what to do, but then his arms wrapped around her protectively. She sobbed into his shoulder for a while. Then they were just sniffles. Then, she was quiet. She tried to calm herself so that she could actually talk to him, but she wasn't quite ready.

In the dark of pre-dawn, Inuyasha was having a very hard time.

On the one hand, he was still pissed. And with Kagome so close, he could smell better than ever the evidence of the time spent with his brother. She had a new scent to her – instead of her bright scent, it was now ringed with a darker undertone. It made him furious with himself, his brother, and Kagome. Kagome was easy to figure out, but he was finding it harder and harder to blame her. His brother was easy also. Sesshoumaru had taken Kagome away from him and then thrown her away. It wasn't hard to figure out where the anger stemmed from. But he was angry at himself, too, and that was a little more difficult. Was it because he had let this happen? Well, he had thought this could be an outcome, but hadn't really thought it out, and really, he was more angry at his brother for that than himself. No, there was another reason.

And then Kagome pulled away to look him in the eyes, and it hit him.

Because it had all been for _her_.

Sure, in the beginning, he just wanted to be a full demon. Then, it was for Kikyou's revenge. But then, it was to protect her. His Kagome… She would never be safe unless Naraku was defeated. And then they had learned that Naraku was not their toughest enemy. They had prevailed. But Kagome still wasn't safe. She was constantly putting herself in danger because she hadn't wanted to chance the well leaving her in one era, especially without him. _She_ had done it for _him_. And how had he repaid her? By leaving her without a word, without a promise. Because he had been foolishly unconfident.

Obviously, Kagome had no problems being intimate with non-humans. And he had known – without a doubt – that she had wanted him. Why had he been so scared? Why had he had such a problem with it? Damn, but he was an idiot.

So, he hated himself because he was the one that had forced her into his arms, and this was how it ended up.

Yep, that sounded about right.

_Fucking idiot_.

So now, as the anger receded and all of his love for her came rushing back like a broken dam, he was found in a precarious position. She was so close, and oh so vulnerable. He only had to lean forward…

But no. She was grieving for another man. It would be wrong to take advantage of her now. She would hate him later, and he would hate himself forever. So he would wait. For her, he would wait a hundred years.

He brought a hand to her face, wiping away whatever moisture was left. She smiled weakly at him, and he smiled back. And then he opened his mouth to say the first words he had spoken to her in weeks.

"Kagome…" he breathed, knowing her family was still asleep, "you look like shit."

Stunned for a second that he was even speaking – she hadn't heard his wild, rough voice in so long it was like a comforting blanket – she only blinked at him. And then something in her brain went _clunk_, and she laughed hysterically. He laughed with her too, but they quieted quickly so as not to disturb the others.

~~~~~%~~

Time went by quickly, she was surprised to find. She had fallen into a strange schedule: she would wake up with Inuyasha beside her and he would make her eat something for breakfast - as she could only eat when he was there, otherwise her stomach would reject it – and then she would try to help her mother around the house.

Mrs. Higurashi never pushed her daughter. She knew Kagome had suffered a deep loss and didn't try to wake her from the stupor Kagome seemed to be stuck in. Even Souta didn't seem to bother her as much. And she tried to keep her father-in-law from lecturing the poor girl. She was only immensely grateful to Inuyasha whom she was surprised to see after what Kagome had told her. Without him, Kagome would be worse. Her daughter was only a shadow of herself now, but she would be invisible without the faithful hanyou.

Of course Kagome tried to argue – weakly – with Inuyasha about all the time he was spending here. But he insisted that there was nothing for him to do in the Feudal Era. After all, with the jewel here in the Modern Era no demons were attracted to the village. He also tried to make the case that Sango was there, but Kagome berated him; her friend was pregnant and wouldn't be able to help the village. Miroku was there, but he was hindered in a good-yet-bad way without the Kazaana. In the end, though, he convinced her that she wasn't going to get rid of him that easily, and it brought a now-rare smile to her face.

Her entire day, she tried to busy herself around the shrine. Not quite up to seeing visitors yet, she cleaned, studied her families' history, and made herself more familiar with the items of the shrine that she hadn't had time to recognize before. At lunchtime, she would always find an excuse to miss eating with her family – an errand to run, a sudden need for a shower, already grabbed a snack, going to grab lunch with a friend – but she didn't fool anyone. Inuyasha knew better than any of them, but they all saw how she grew thinner and thinner every week.

~~~~~%~~

February came and went.

March brought warmer weather, but didn't warm her heart.

April saw the beginnings of life, with green sprouts everywhere. But she took no notice.

In May, she could wear her beloved skirts again, but her clothes hung limply off her bony frame.

When June came, Inuyasha had had enough.

He was tired of watching her kill herself. He knew the heartbreak she was going through because he had to lose women he loved twice. But he wasn't going to lose Kagome again. And certainly not because she wouldn't eat.

One night, when he went back to the Feudal Era as Kagome slept – his routine – he found Miroku awake in his home. The ever-growing Sango was sleeping for now, and he brought the monk outside to talk, which garnered Miroku's interest.

They spoke for some time, the hanyou filling his friend in with details of Kagome's health and told him of his plan to attempt to bring Kagome back. It would require Sango's cooperation – only the thought of her pregnant friend would drag Kagome back to this time – so the two plotted until Inuyasha decided to rush back lest the miko wake up and find him gone.

When Kagome was sweeping the massive collection of steps leading up to the shrine the next morning, Inuyasha casually brought up his little excursion.

"Hey, you know what?"

Kagome stumbled as she was surprised by his sudden talkativeness. "What?"

"I ran into Sango and Miroku last night." He let the bait sit as she continued her sweeping.

"Oh?" she said, only half-curious.

He remained silent, knowing that eventually, the old, chatty Kagome would peek out.

It took a few minutes; she was fighting the urge to ask.

"How are they?"

Inuyasha grinned triumphantly. Luckily he was in a tree, and he would have more than enough time to hide his mirth if she were to look – she didn't move very quickly these days. "Miroku's happy, I guess. Sango is getting big."

He watched as Kagome paused on the steps. Her hands were wringing the handle of the broom, and he was sure she was going to get splinters if she kept it up. He jumped down to still her hands.

She looked up once her hands were in his. He would have thought she would have shied from his touch, but she almost seemed bewildered, as if she thought no one would ever touch her again, let alone in such an intimate manner. He looked down at her hands, which were both rough from months of relentless work and bony from her body eating up whatever meager stores of fat she had had before everything happened.

When his eyes locked with hers, he sealed the deal. It was now or never. "She misses you," he lied.

Well, it wasn't so much a lie as his pushing things his way. He was positive that Sango indeed missed her friend, it was just that he hadn't heard it directly from her. But Miroku had probably already completed his side of the plan and might be waiting…

"I… I can't…" She looked down at her feet.

He pulled her chin up to look into his eyes. She wouldn't go back into this self-loathing spiral. He wouldn't let her. But he also knew that Kagome was not the type you could give orders to.

"Why not?" he asked as gently as possible.

She sighed, and he could see that she seemed to be asking herself the same question. He watched as she deliberated, turned away from the idea, and wavered… And then, she caved.

"I guess… it couldn't hurt…"

"If you want, we don't have to go anywhere. It'll just be me, you, Miroku, and Sango at the well. How does that sound?"

She seemed to brighten a bit. "That's all?"

"Anyone you want to add?" he added, thinking she might want to see Shippou.

Her eyes fell a bit, but they hardened. "No, not yet."

And there was the hope he had wished for – yet. That little word carried with it everything he had worked for. Today, just the four of them at the well. Soon, maybe Kaede and Shippou and Rin. Later, maybe into the village. Maybe she would even come back…

"Okay," he said.

He swung an arm over her shoulder and they started back up the stairs. He wanted very badly to carry her – she was so very weak now – but he had tried once a few months ago and she had become… difficult. So he was very careful around her now.

She started to protest. "But Inuyasha… now? I mean, I have to finish the stairs!"

He rolled his eyes. "Kagome, you clean those damn stairs every damn day. They're so clean your king or emperor or whatever could eat off them."

Kagome laughed weakly. It was still humorous to her that he knew so little about this time and yet he kept coming back.

He made her wear jeans – actually, he had rushed into her room and threw them at her under the ruse that he needed to do something back in the Feudal Era – so that her friends wouldn't be as surprised when they saw her. As it was, her skirts practically fell off her hips and showed her too-thin legs. If it had been under better circumstances, he would have joked with her and called her 'chicken-legs'.

She changed quickly and they were only stopped by her mother on the way through the kitchen.

"Going out, you two?" She was hoping it was a date, but also knew her daughter better than that – Kagome was very much like herself – and figured they had to run an errand. "I wasn't aware I needed anything…" Kagome's favorite excuse to miss a meal was to find something they were low on – ramen, udon, or soba noodles, eggs, meat, daikon, leeks – and scurry out to buy them before her mother could protest.

"Just for a walk, mama," Kagome told her.

Indeed, she wasn't bringing her purse, and she didn't seem overly dressed… As a matter of fact, she was grateful to whatever gods had dressed her in the concealing clothes. She hated seeing the bones jutting from her daughter's skin.

"Okay," she said as brightly as she could.

The two left, then ducked to the left when they were outside, going towards the well house. They managed to get there quickly, and were back in the Feudal Era in just a few minutes.

About ten minutes after they had left, Kagome's mom was preparing lunch for the rest of the family when she heard a noise and turned to the door. She was surprised to see him, but it didn't cover up her hatred. She glared at him, her chocolate eyes boring into his brilliant gold.

"I hope you're happy," she said in the most menacing voice she could muster.

"It was why I warned you so long ago," he told her, his ocher eyes softening for a moment, looking contrite. And then he was gone.

~~~~~%~~

Once they were on the other side, Inuyasha gripped Kagome around the waist and jumped quickly out and onto the new, fresh grass. The smells of spring were so much more potent here, and it reminded her of so many starry nights spent around a campfire. She was suddenly hit with nostalgia, and she longed to see her friends even more than ever.

They didn't have to wait long. The sun was high overhead – noon – and Inuyasha's ears pricked at the sound of the oncoming couple.

They were laughing as they wound through the trees, the path taking them past Goshinboku. And then they were breaking through the little clearing that housed the well. Remembering where they were, the monk and demon slayer turned to the well to find Inuyasha and…

Well, something that looked like Kagome. Like a shell of Kagome.

They tried to hide it, but it was such a shock. To see her, frail and delicate, her cheekbones pronounced and her hair limp with malnourishment. And Miroku could tell that her holy powers were wavering as well. Her powers should get stronger as she got older, not weaker. Her aura was as when Maghastsui had sealed her; it was flaring weakly, almost gone. And that was cause for alarm – if her powers were dying, so was she.

Sango was affected the most – to see her best friend, her sister in ways – and in her pregnant, emotional state, couldn't help the tears that rolled down her face.

It was such a shock to Kagome to see the ever strong Sango crying that she didn't realize why she was doing so. And then she saw the barely-hidden concern in Miroku's expression and knew. Suddenly, Kagome couldn't breathe. She was hyperventilating… of their own accord, her lungs were desperately trying to bring in as much air as possible. Her eyes started to become blurry with tears, and her hands shook with the force of it all. There was a tingle in the tips of her fingers – not her powers, but something else… She felt restless, and wanted to run, even though she was suddenly so tired and wanted to curl in a ball and cry herself to sleep.

Inuyasha had hoped this wouldn't happen; he had warned Miroku of her state for a reason, but he could see how it would be a shock to see Kagome like this. It was stunning to him that Sango had broke down, though. He wondered if it was a female thing. Wrapping his arms around her, he could feel Kagome's sudden weariness. She exuded pain from every pore, but she was also wound up. Her heart was thumping erratically, although her breathing was starting to slow a little.

After she was hidden from their view, Sango thought she could handle it a little better. "Kagome, I missed you so much…"

And Kagome started to cry harder. She wailed, and Inuyasha stroked her hair. He gave Sango a look, and she nodded, controlling herself. In a few minutes, although she was still feeling very anxious, she was soothed and let go of the hanyou. He wiped her face, and she was embarrassed. She peeked around him and Sango was smiling at her. It looked like a pity smile that her friend was trying desperately to turn into a genuine smile.

Well, might as well get this over with.

She approached the pregnant woman tentatively and tried to smile, and was surprised when Sango brought her in for a big hug. And all at once, she felt better. Not whole, but better. Sango giggled in her ear, and then Kagome was laughing too. Soon, Miroku joined in, happy to hear the girls having fun. Inuyasha looked at them all like they were crazy.

They stayed on safe topics – how Shippou was doing, had anyone heard from Kouga yet?, how the pregnancy was going, the village gossip – but soon there was nothing left to talk about that didn't involve something Kagome would not be able to hear without breaking down. They couldn't talk about Rin – or Kohaku, by extension, since the two were now betrothed, although the wedding wouldn't be until at least after Sango had had her baby – and they obviously couldn't talk about what had happened, so when there was nothing left, Sango politely excused herself on the pretense that she had to relieve herself. Of course Miroku joined her, and they said their farewells.

"Oh, Kagome, I'm going to miss you," Sango said, already becoming emotional.

Kagome giggled. "My, you're emotional now, Sango."

"What, you're not going to miss me?" she asked, false anger in her voice.

"Of course! But I won't miss the mood swings," Kagome joked.

Inuyasha watched interestedly. She already seemed lighter. A little brighter. The question was, how long would it last?

"Kagome," Miroku cooed, reaching for Kagome for his own hug, "you will come again, won't you?"

She hugged him fiercely. He hadn't always been the best man – with his lecherous and conning ways – but he was like a big brother. And she could always look to him for advice. He was full of wisdom and was always up for sharing it.

"Of course I will. Perhaps next time Shippou will come, too?"

At this, Inuyasha smiled. He had been hoping for this. "Anything you want," he said.

It startled everyone a little; the hanyou had remained all but silent for the few hours they had been catching up.

Kagome grinned. It wasn't the old Kagome grin; this was a little sadder, not as innocent. But she truly was happier for the moment, and for this, they were all very grateful.

Finally, they all bid to see each other soon, and the young couple walked back through the trees. Later, when they were alone in their home, Sango would cry over the state her sister was in, and her husband would console her. And he was very, very thankful that he wasn't Inuyasha. He wouldn't know what to do. And he wasn't sure if his hanyou friend knew what shape Kagome was really in. And that made him even more appreciative that he and his wife could not pass through the well.

~~~~~%~~

Back at home, Kagome's mood was lifted slightly. She didn't go straight to her room as usual. She stayed to talk to a wary Souta on their living room couch, since he was home from school. He was so shocked he forgot to be angry that she was keeping him from his anime.

Inuyasha had been suspicious as soon as he arrived in the future. Something was off, and Kagome's mother had something to do with it. He had smelled the stench before, and usually avoided the area when he could. But he had no choice, Kagome would be suspicious if he left her to enter through the bedroom.

Mrs. Higurashi was late cooking dinner when they walked in; she had finished bleaching half the shrine only an hour ago. She was keen to Inuyasha's sensitive nose and had to make sure he wouldn't know of her visitor. She was quite relieved to see that Kagome looked refreshed. Not really better, but at least it seemed her burden wasn't as heavy. She didn't get to dwell on it very long, for Inuyasha had approached her.

He glanced at Kagome's head – only half of the back of her head was visible from here – and deemed it safe. "What's going on?" he asked, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.

"What do you mean, Inuyasha?" the older woman asked sweetly.

"Why does it smell like… that stuff everywhere?" His eyes were beady as they tightened further.

"I do it every once in a while, why do you ask?"

"You don't usually use so much of it," he said, still not trusting her.

"It's a very thorough cleaner, Inuyasha. It disinfects, and it whitens, and…"

"And it covers up scents," he said, his eyes mere slits now.

She laughed. "Well, I'm so sorry it's uncomfortable for you, dear. I'll try to warn you next time."

"Next time you decide to use it on the entire shrine?" he questioned dubiously.

"Well, I didn't use it on the whole shrine," she attempted in her defense.

"The dirt outside the door?" he asked, an eyebrow high into his bangs, daring her to deny it.

She laughed again. "It's a well-travelled area, Inuyasha." In a last attempt to change the subject, she looked at the back of Kagome's head and Inuyasha's gaze followed. Then she looked at him again. "She looks a little… lighter."

Inuyasha smiled dimly. "I took her over there," he stated, not needing to clarify.

There was a gasp before the older woman looked at him, aghast. "Inuyasha!" she cried in a hushed tone. She ignored his flattened ears and scowl. "How could you? After everything!"

"Listen, woman, it wasn't a big deal," he told her, trying to placate her. "We stayed by the well, and it was just Sango and Miroku. She was happy to see them. That's why I arranged it. And look at her now." He gestured towards the raven-haired woman, as if to prove to her mother that he was right.

But she had to admit, he had a point.

"Well, yes. She looks… better, I guess. Just… please be careful, Inuyasha. I've protected her as well as I'm able, but… I don't know. Just… _please_."

He knew the haunted look in her eyes and understood her pleading, so he let it go, returning to Kagome and plopping down on the other side of Souta.

Half an hour later, when Kagome realized that dinner was running later than usual, she returned to the kitchen and helped her mother cook, something she had not done since she had been back for good. Counting her blessings, her mother simply acted like it was completely normal and Kagome ate a little more heartily when they all sat down together.

That night, when Kagome was finally alone in her room, the loneliness began to creep through her, and when Inuyasha crept into her window – his nightly routine, as Kagome's mother assumed he went back to the Feudal Era to sleep – he found her rocking, her arms wrapped around her knees, on the bed. She wasn't crying, but he didn't want her to fall back into the depression, so he sat on her bed, pulled her into his lap, and held her.

It wasn't at all uncomfortable for Kagome. She would have thought it would have disturbed her, since Sessh – _he_, since he – had held her like this. But Inuyasha was smaller, his fire rat clothes were rougher, and of course he smelled different. Inuyasha was like the forest in summer to her – wild, warm, and open. Sessh – _he_, damn it. HE – smelled like freshly fallen snow. He was mysterious, untouchable, and had an awe about him.

But _he_ was hard to think about, so Kagome tried to relax in Inuyasha's arms. She laid her head in the crook of Inuyasha's neck, and soon, she was asleep.

Inuyasha was at a crossroads. On the one hand, it might damage him so much more to stay with her. But then again, if he were to leave, she could slip back into her old routine. Was there ever a choice? With a sigh, Inuyasha laid down, holding the woman he loved and trying to calm his own frazzled nerves. He almost lost his nerve – so close, so close – when she snuggled deeper and her lips brushed against his neck, but he knew that he just couldn't do anything. Not right now. And to console himself, he told himself that if Kagome ever got better, if he thought she could handle it, he _would_ act on his wishes. He wouldn't let her go a second time.


	11. XI

A/N: Wow. And when I say 'wow' I mean… WOW. You guys are incredibly awesome. You've shown incredible support for this story in so many ways – I get the best reviews, and emails, and private messages. I'm so thrilled with your enthusiasm! Unfortunately, I've gotten to the point where I've realized that my 'Thank You's and such were taking up too much space – sometimes a whole page. So I'm sorry I won't be responding anymore to your comments (although I occasionally may answer questions here) on the sites where I can't immediately respond – MediaMiner, adultfanfiction, and Dokuga. But I hope you realize that I DO read every single one. How do you think I'm able to get these chapters out so quickly when they're so huge? YOU GUYS. All of you that leave such lovely reviews. If you don't believe me, visit this story on one of the other sites, where I have the option to respond: Inuyasha-fanfiction (where I'm a moderator), deviantART, fanfiction. Net. I read all of them and respond where I can. Because reviews = love and fuel. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, or whatever you celebrate!

This is a beautifully enchanting song. It has a haunting quality that fit many parts of this chapter. I recommend it to anyone that likes ballads or ethnic music.

"_Be careful with my heart, you could break it._

_Don't take my love for granted, things could change._

_Sometimes I go insane; I play the fool and you'll agree._

_I'll never be the same without you here with me…_

_Cuidado (Be careful) con mi Corazon_

_Carismo, no mi lastimes_

_Cuidado, es mi Corazon, mi Corazon…"_ - Ricky Martin and Madonna, Be Careful (Cuidado)

That's the Way Love Goes

Chapter XI

Kagome wondered if it got any easier. It was now September, and even though she did feel… well, not as bad, she still wasn't able to think his name. If she did, she would wind up crumpled on the floor, clutching at her middle, trying to keep herself from ripping in two.

Sometimes, she succeeded, and would pull herself together and brush it off.

Sometimes, she wouldn't.

Today was one of those days. Attempting to calm herself, she tried to think of why this happened. What had reminded her of him so sharply that she now felt like her body was trying to turn itself inside out? It had started out innocently enough.

Souta, now in Middle School, had been foolishly kicking a soccer ball up the shrine steps. At some point, the ball had hit a corner and bounded down the stairs and as the boy turned to run after it so it didn't get caught in traffic, he not only managed to twist his ankle, but fell down the stairs. From about half-way up.

Kagome had heard the commotion and was just helping an elderly patron out of the Shrine's garden when she heard her brother's cry. Inuyasha had bounded away, and Kagome had excused herself to run after him. When she got there, she found Inuyasha leaping back up her family's steps and had a wincing and groaning Souta in his arms. With cuts, scrapes, and bruises everywhere, Kagome was worried to the point of being sick. Inuyasha tried to calm her, but she ran frantically into the house to call her mother, who was visiting a friend in the hospital. Sighing, Inuyasha went after her, making Souta sit in a kitchen chair.

Luckily, she was so frantic she couldn't even find the phone, which was, incidentally, where it always was on the kitchen counter. Souta convinced his sister he wasn't as hurt as it looked and they didn't need to worry their mother. Near tears, Kagome agreed. It would do no good to make their mother rush home; she might get hurt in the process. And Kagome couldn't take any more pain.

Their grandfather was still prattling away to visitors, trying to sell them his wards and talismen, and didn't need to be bothered. So Kagome ran upstairs for a first aid kit and some Tylenol. She returned only a few minutes later, filled a glass with water, and made him take the pain-killers. He tried to play manly – she suspected mostly for Inuyasha's benefit – but Kagome was if anything, persistent. When that was over, she broke out the antiseptics and began.

When all the cuts and scrapes were clean and bandaged, she prodded his already-swollen ankle. She was sure it was only a three or four day sprain, and bandaged it tightly. She happily informed him that he should sit on the couch for the rest of the night with his foot elevated, and to put a pillow under it while he slept, too.

"Can I have tomorrow off from school, too?" he asked slyly.

Kagome laughed, and Inuyasha was happy to hear the sound. "I'm not your mom," she said sarcastically, "or your doctor. So ask Mom, or, you can go to the hospital," she informed him cheerily.

He scowled. "No thanks. On either."

Kagome laughed again, and Inuyasha laughed with her. It was contagious, and the boy found himself chuckling at himself as well.

When they calmed, Kagome looked at her brother with a grin. "Now, there's nothing else, right? I mean, I don't see anything that looks like a broken bone – no intense swelling and bruising – but you never know." Then she became serious. "Souta, you're really lucky. What if you had hit your head? And you could've rolled right into the street…"

"Naw, I caught him before that happened," Inuyasha interjected.

"If you hadn't been there…" Kagome placed a hand on the hanyou's shoulder, and the look in her eyes was troubled.

"But he was," Souta piped. Then he scowled at the half-demon. "Too bad you couldn't save my ball, too."

Inuyasha snorted. "We'll get you another one, kid. You can't get another head."

"I dunno…" Souta joked, "I'm feelin' kinda dizzy without my ball… Oh no, I'm starting to lose my memory…"

Inuyasha froze with stress as he saw Kagome tense, her eyes a perfect caricature of horror. They both watched as the boy turned his gaze to his sister, his expression confused.

"Hey, who are you?"

Kagome stood in shock for a few seconds, wavering under her grief. And then, so quick they didn't know what happened, she bolted. Stumbling, she half-ran, half-climbed up the stairs. Inuyasha turned to go after her.

"Wha'd I say?" Souta asked, his voice a whisper.

Inuyasha sighed. "S'not your fault, kid. You didn't know." He looked back towards the stairs when he heard her door slam. "_Damn it_," he murmured.

And now she felt horrible. Not just because she thought her stomach was going to eat through her until it made a hole and escaped to find a better host, but because she had probably worried her brother. And most likely, he was going to tell their mother. Not that it mattered – mama seemed to know exactly what was going on, although she was sure Inuyasha hadn't said anything concerning Ses – _him_, concerning him.

She heard Inuyasha creep into her room and felt him sit on her bed next to her. She was facing the wall, but she could tell that he was probably looking pretty depressed. That's all she was good for, nowadays. Making other people worry about her.

He put a hand on her shoulder and sighed. "You know, it's… different. Souta was just…" He sighed again, exasperated and not sure what the right thing to say was.

She tried to turn. "I know. I'm sorry," she told him.

Inuyasha huffed, angry. "Don't apologize. It's not your fault something upset you. You have a right to be sad. Just… don't make your brother worry. Okay?"

Kagome looked at him wide-eyed. She hadn't predicted that type of response.

"And…" he began, but then unsure of his words again, "maybe you could… you know… talk to him. About it, I mean."

Kagome swallowed, trying to digest his words.

Sighing yet again – for the past year, he had been doing a lot of sighing. It could be considered his job, or even a hobby by this point – he ran a clawed hand through his thick, white hair. "I mean, you don't have to tell him. But I'm sure he wants to understand. And… you need to talk to someone, Kagome." His eyes were trained on the floor, and he wondered if she was going to kick him out of the room. He didn't want to see what her expression was.

But then he felt movement, and suddenly she was sitting next to him. Gingerly, as if she was afraid he'd run from her touch, she put her arms around him. It wasn't until she had placed her head on his shoulder that he looked at her. She looked so sad. He lifted a hand and caressed her face. He was surprised when she didn't shy away from his touch. And then she was speaking quietly to him.

"You're right," she said.

His neck craned so he could raise an eyebrow at her.

She almost smiled at his expression, but the pain was still coursing through her veins.

"I don't think Souta can handle it, though. He's too young to deal with my problems, and he shouldn't have to worry about me even more. But I will talk to him. As for…"

She had trailed off, and Inuyasha knew what she meant. _As for her 'problem' and who to speak to…_ He figured he should see Sango tonight. Maybe Kagome would want to have some alone time with her friend.

"Well, when you're ready, I'd like to talk to you about it."

This time, he had to pull away from her to pin her with an incredulous look. "Me? Why? I mean… I mean you can, it's just that… wouldn't you rather talk to Sango?" He still didn't understand why she would want to tell him. And could he handle it? Could he be calm while he listened to her speak of his brother as the love of her life?

"Because you're my best friend, silly," she told him, squeezing a little as she did so.

He almost laughed. Not just at the pathetic attempt at a hug – she was so much weaker now he was sure that if he squeezed her, she would break – but also at her words. Best friend. How did he end up with that title? Oh, _right_.

But when he thought about it, she was right. They knew each other like no one else. And they loved each other immensely. Well, she may not feel the same way as he did right now, but he still loved her in a way that would make him do anything for her, whether she was his or not. After all, that's why he was still here, right?

With another sigh – he really should keep count. Maybe there was some sort of record? – he patted her head. "Anytime," he told her.

And the most amazing thing happened. She lifted her head, looked deep into his eyes with her beautiful blue pools and smiled.

And he was done. If she had asked for his liver, he would have carved it out himself and presented it on a plate. Need my kidney? Here, take it. My lungs? Sure, what do I need them for anyways?

And he felt like he had no lungs at that point, because despite her poor health, she was still the most gorgeous woman in the world, and just looking at her, he couldn't breathe.

He knew he could do it now. He could lean forward, just a little, and take her. She might let him. But…

And there it was. But. That single, innocent-looking word grounded him. Because if she rejected him again, he might go insane. And if she didn't truly want to, it could break her and make her hate him. And that was a risk he wasn't willing to take.

It had only lasted a second, and then she was walking out of the room, presumably to her brother. Exhausted, Inuyasha let himself fall backwards onto the bed.

~~~~~%~~

Kagome approached the living room cautiously. She had no idea what state her brother was in, but he had taken her advice to heart, although he had embellished a little. Using an ice pack against a bruise on his shin and moving around a little too much as he played a video game, Kagome thought he looked like a perfectly normal Middle School boy. It wasn't his fault his sister was able to travel back and forth between the Feudal Era. It wasn't his fault she had involved herself with a Taiyoukai – she cringed at this; _moving on!_ – and it wasn't his fault she was absolutely out of her mind right now. But he did deserve to know something.

"Souta?" she called softly.

Despite the roars of the monsters on the screen, he looked up. Quickly, he paused the game and began to gush.

"I'm so sorry, Kagome! I didn't mean to upset you! I didn't know-"

Kagome was angry with herself. "Souta, don't apologize!" She tried to remember Inuyasha's words. Since when did she copy anything he said? She almost laughed, despite herself. "I… can't tell you much, but you deserve better. I'm sorry, Souta. I didn't mean for you to see…" She sighed, feeling the tendrils of grief grasping at her again.

"It's okay, sis. I know you haven't been yourself for a while. I… I noticed when you came back that you and Inuyasha weren't… well, you know. And I thought maybe it was because of him, since he wasn't around at first. But he's been here, like, well, all day every day."

On the one hand, Kagome wondered when her brother had become so sharp. How had he noticed all that? And if he figured all that out, maybe he wasn't so innocent after all. Maybe he could handle it… No. She wouldn't involve any of her family. Even though it seemed like some of them were already more involved than they let on.

On the other hand, she thought about his words. It did seem odd, that Inuyasha was here all the time. It never bothered her, so she hadn't thought about it. But… hadn't he hated her the last time he saw her? She could've sworn on her father's grave that he was never going to talk to her again. But here he was, hovering like a mother hen and always looking like he was going to catch her even though she wasn't falling.

But maybe that was it. Maybe she was falling. At least metaphorically. And Inuyasha had always been there to catch her, as he was now. She just hadn't noticed, because she had needed him so badly. Man, she really owed him. If he hadn't been there… Kagome shuddered at the thought. He deserved so much better.

Bringing herself to the present, Kagome shook her head at her little brother. "I don't even know why he stays," she said, a sad smile on her lips.

Souta looked at her dubiously, as if he knew something she didn't. She ignored it, not wanting to explore the thought.

"Anyways, I just wanted you to know that you shouldn't worry about saying the wrong thing to me. I… fell in love with someone else. Over there. But he rejected me. So… I'm having a hard time."

"I figured it had to do with love. I just couldn't believe it wasn't Inuyasha. Ever since you were dragged down that well, it's always been Inuyasha."

Kagome smiled wistfully. "Yeah. But when you grow up, you find that there are some things you're capable of, and some that you aren't."

"You mean waiting around for him to ask you to marry him?" her brother asked playfully, lowering his voice.

"Souta!" Kagome cried, scandalized. When had he become so perceptive?

He waved her off. "Whatever. Okay, I got it. So, this guy. He… No, never mind," he said, frowning.

"No, it's okay, I think. Go ahead."

Souta pinned her with a glare. "I don't wanna," he said.

"Really, Souta. I'll be okay," she soothed, attempting a smile. Perhaps her expression gave her away. She was so afraid of what he was going to ask. So scared it would rip the hole in her wide open…

He still looked at her doubtfully, but he spoke anyways. "Was he, like… a boyfriend? Or like… your Romeo?"

It _hurt_. Especially put in that context. There was no way that _he_ could be poured into a mold like 'boyfriend'. But Romeo… Oh, boy. Souta had hit the nail on the head. Because all this time, she really hadn't felt like living without him. Oh, sure, she wasn't stupid enough to openly 'off' herself, but she didn't really have any joy in living, either.

He could see the pain in her eyes, although she was trying to fight it. He turned his eyes downward. "Right. Got it. Sorry," he said quietly.

What could she say? She couldn't brush it off, and she certainly couldn't deny it. But there was no doubt in her mind that – she would have to trade Inuyasha for Paris – he was her Romeo. Speaking of which…

"Where'd you learn about them?" she said, playfully ruffling his hair, much to his chagrin.

"School, duh. Last year, actually. We had to read it in class together. Really sad." Then he looked up at her, and she felt like he looked through her, and could feel her pain. She couldn't bear it.

"I think I'm going to go take a nap. Try not to bounce around so much or your ankle will take even longer to heal," she told him as she turned to trudge up the stairs.

She wondered how long it was going to take her to heal again. Not that she was healed before.

~~~~~%~~

Inuyasha lay on Kagome's bed, wondering – for the two-hundredth, thirty-fifth time – why he was putting himself through this. Was it some sort of penance? No, that's not why he was here. Deep down, he knew. He knew that despite the fact that the woman he loved more than anything was mourning the loss of his brother, he couldn't abandon her. And he couldn't give up on the chance that maybe, on some strange occurrence, she might turn to him. And then, perhaps…

Was it wrong to hope? Had he imagined her words a little while ago? She had said she was going to talk to him – was that a good thing, or an omen of what was to happen to their relationship? Did he really want to hear? Maybe he should leave. Maybe he should go back to his own time, and forget the raven-haired woman that held his heart. But that was the problem: she would always have his heart.

And so he couldn't bring himself to leave. Because she needed him. Because no matter what she was going to hurt him with, he was sure she was going through a lot worse. Because he knew there was still a chance with Kagome – even if they never became one, he would still have her in his life. But her prospect with Sesshoumaru – he growled just thinking his brother's name – had vanished. She wouldn't see him again. And he certainly wasn't going to come crawling back to her on his hands and knees, that proud, arrogant asshole.

So, he was back at square one. He was in the future, guilt and honor and hope chaining him here while Kagome, sorrow and pain and grief forcing her against the past, where, despite her efforts, she really wanted to be.

~~~~~%~~

Kagome tentatively opened the door to her room, feeling silly for almost feeling intrusive. It was her room, damn it.

She noticed that Inuyasha had fallen asleep. Nostalgia punched her in the gut, hard. He looked troubled in his sleep, like he had when he had slept in her bed during the hunt for Naraku. Kagome sighed. It always came back to the evil hanyou. Would she never be freed from the demons that lurked in her thoughts?

She laid down next to him, comfortable now with their sleeping arrangement; he always slept with her in her bed, and they often held each other, although Kagome was unsure for whose benefit it was. She wasn't stupid. As Souta had pointed out, the hanyou obviously still had feelings for her. But she knew that wasn't the only reason he hung around. But she also knew she needed him. Who knows what state she would be in if he wasn't here to keep her in one piece as she slept?

She knew it was wrong. On some mornings, she would wake up crying. Silently, but she knew Inuyasha knew it; he could smell the tears. But she couldn't bring herself to tell him why. His arms chased her sorrow away. In her dreams, she imagined it was Sesshoumaru holding her again. In her sleep, she finally felt happy and secure. But as she would wake, she knew instinctively that it was Inuyasha – the arms were shorter and thicker, not the long, lean muscles of her youkai. And so, just before she opened her eyes, she would begin to cry.

But, it could be so much worse.

There were other mornings where she would wake up screaming and crying furiously. Her mother had stopped coming to check on her, knowing her daughter was inconsolable. These were the result of the nights that Inuyasha left to check on their friends in the Feudal Era. He didn't go every night now, since he said they didn't need him as much. But Kagome knew better; either her mother or brother must have told him how awful it was in the morning sometimes. Of course, they still thought he went home every night, so they had no idea that on the days her sobbing was quiet, he was there, soothing her as she calmed.

So now, she had to decide. She was tired. Tired of crying, tired of lying, tired of looking like… well, like a zombie from one of Souta's video games. And she wasn't just tired. She was angry. Angry at Sesshoumaru, for turning on her, despite his promises – had that been a guise? No, without the full extent of his memory, he truly had loved her. She was also angry at herself. Why should she ruin her life for him? Wouldn't that just make the demon lord more satisfied? The lowly human, sobbing over her love for the heartless Taiyoukai… It was pathetic, and she knew it. She was stronger than that. Inuyasha had been her first love, and she didn't take it nearly as hard when she realized nothing was going to happen with him.

_But he didn't leave you_, a treacherous voice whispered to her in the confines of her mind.

Scowling at her conscience, Kagome knew there needed to be a change. She needed to do something. Anything.

Glancing at Inuyasha's pained, sleeping face, Kagome wondered. What if…

What if…? What if Romeo had decided Juliet wasn't worth his time, because they were from two different societies? What if Romeo had abandoned her? Could Juliet find love again? What if Paris had been there to hold her hand as she grieved for Romeo? Could she grow to love Paris? Of course, it could never be the same as with Romeo, but she would be – if only a ghost of happiness – happy. And Paris, who had dreamed of having Juliet, and comforted her, and stayed with her loyally, would finally be happy.

Could she do that? Could she fall for Paris? Or at least, love him enough to make him happy?

Kagome teetered on a dangerous precipice. If she made the decision, if she truly wanted Paris – Inuyasha – to be happy, she wouldn't be able to take it back if she found it too difficult. She had broken Paris' heart once already, and a second time would put him in a state worse than her own. To lead him on to shoot him down… it was unthinkable. If she went through with it, that was it.

But… _Sesshoumaru_…

She allowed his name to be thought, one last time, and the memories it dredged up were so excruciatingly painful she had to run to her bathroom so she could sink to the floor of the bathtub and cry. When she was able to control herself, she was relieved to find she hadn't been so weak as to wake up Inuyasha with her sniveling. She returned to the bed, watching her Paris' sleeping, tortured face.

She couldn't do this to him anymore. It was now or never. She had to choose – pine over Romeo forever, or try to be happy, or in the least, make Paris happy.

And then Inuyasha made her decision for her.

He had begun to wake when he felt her sit on the bed again, and now he gazed up at her with such loving, guarded eyes that she couldn't say no. She couldn't hurt him again, because that would make her as bad as Romeo. For him, she would try to be happy. For Paris, she would try to make him happy. She _would_ make Inuyasha happy, if it was the only thing she could do with whatever pathetic excuse of a life she had left.

When he first opened his eyes, Inuyasha had been worried; Kagome looked so vulnerable, and her eyes were red. She had been crying again. He wondered what she was thinking, because clearly, she had calmed herself down. And now she was staring at him intently, which – to tell the truth – was kinda freaking him out. He sat up. And then, suddenly, her blue eyes became hard as ice, some sort of resolve steeled in them that made him gasp.

And then she was pressing her warm, desperate lips to his, and he had no idea how to respond. Was this really happening? Maybe he hadn't woken up, and this was just a really good dream? Well, if it was, he might as well be happy while he was sleeping.

Eagerly, he began to kiss her back, threading his fingers in her hair with one hand and the other on her lower back, pulling her closer. He was pleasantly surprised when she responded by making a little noise, and he growled appreciatively.

She froze, and he pulled away.

She looked torn, like she was suddenly wondering if she had made the right choice. Inuyasha moved the hand from her neck to her face, wiping away tears that weren't there. The sudden loss of her was killing him, and he was certain that if he woke up now, he may or may not try to kill himself. It would be unbearable now, to lose her again. Not after this…

And Kagome knew that. She could see it in his eyes; after such a searing kiss, he wouldn't be able to ever let her go again. And if she were honest with herself, she enjoyed it. Inuyasha's movements and taste and smell were so different from her previous lover's that she hadn't even thought of him. In fact, she was certain she had all but forgotten him.

But then the hanyou had growled, a low, feral sound in his arousal that had sounded so much like… _him_. How could she stand it when one of her favorite sounds in the world – one that instantly set her blood on fire – reminded her so deeply of what she had lost? Did that mean she would have to lose that as well?

"I'm sorry," he said suddenly, startling her.

Apparently, that was the right thing to say. That hard resolve was back, although she looked angrier than she had before.

She placed her own hand on his face, and he closed his eyes at her touch. "Don't you ever apologize for that," she said, iron in her voice.

His eyes snapped open, and he understood.

This time, he captured her lips, almost angrily. He was furious that his brother had made this so filled with grief for him, and he was upset with himself for not having the balls to do this earlier. And he took it out on her, trying desperately to learn her taste, the feel of her. Her hand went into his thick white hair, and pulled…

He had never felt so alive. He restrained from growling, but he couldn't help the groan that escaped. She seemed encouraged, and she climbed into his lap. Feeling so needy but not wanting to push her, he eased the assault on her lips. She responded just as eagerly, making the slower movements sensual. Encouraged, he ran his hands over her body, careful not to touch anything too sexually. But she seemed disinclined to agree to his assessment, and rubbed herself provocatively against his growing length. He gasped, encouraging her. She did it again.

And then – so quickly she didn't know what was going on - he pulled her off, trying desperately to get some air into his lungs. She looked so desponded that he nearly pulled her back onto himself. But he couldn't, and he kept her at arm's length - his hands on her shoulders, still twitching with excitement – until he could breathe properly.

"Kagome," he breathed.

She reacted to her name, tilting her head slightly. He wanted to scowl at her – it reminded him of his brother – but couldn't bring himself to. Instead, he pulled her to him, but this time, in a loving embrace. How would he explain this to her? How could he tell her that he couldn't – wouldn't – do anything else until he was absolutely sure of her decision? How would he begin to tell her that he wanted to be married first, so that she wasn't dishonored the way she was with his brother?

He wouldn't wait, like before. Now, she was finished with her schooling and sure of her future. He wouldn't be holding her back anymore. But he wasn't going to condemn himself, either. Was this what she wanted, or was she using him to forget his brother? He had to know. So he would give her time – a little – to sort her feelings. If she still felt the same, he would ask her. And then he wouldn't blame himself if anything went awry later.

But in the meantime… what would he say to her?

She startled him out of his reverie once again. "It's okay, Inuyasha, I understand." And in that moment, it was like she saw the great wound she had dealt him sew itself up. Not healed, but better than a wide open wound.

He tried hard not to smile, but failed. "Keh, you don't know nothin'," he said. When she frowned at him, he laughed.

And then, she thought that maybe she did understand. At first, she had thought it was because of her original rejection – was he getting her back? No, he wouldn't do that. And so the only other thing that made sense was that he was possibly sparing her feelings, or he didn't want to rush her. He apparently had no problem kissing her now – funny how losing someone can make you bolder – but he seemed reluctant to go further. So she would wait for him now. And she found the prospect exciting.

She smiled at him, and Inuyasha thought it was the most beautiful smile he had ever seen. Because it seemed genuine. Perhaps she did understand. Maybe she saw right through him. But that was okay, because the more open they were, the better things seemed to get.

~~~~~%~~

For weeks, Inuyasha seemed to get bolder. He wouldn't initiate any of their intimate moments, letting Kagome come to him. And come to him, she did. At least twice a day, Kagome would pull him onto her bed or into the shadows on the Shrine grounds. He was enjoying himself immensely.

What he didn't know was that their friends on the other side of the well were becoming increasingly worried. He hadn't shown his face in quite some time, and they weren't sure what that meant. Was Kagome's world more dangerous than she let on? It was unthinkable that he who delivered the final blow to Naraku could succumb to anything in the future world. Or was it Kagome they needed to worry about? Perhaps she had gotten worse, and couldn't come back? They had been doing well, with Kagome visiting every week or two, still not coming near the village. But now she had been able to call her entire circle of friends to the well, even Rin.

But maybe her visits had done more harm than good, and she became worse? They couldn't possibly imagine her being worse than that first time they had seen her – emaciated, pale, and with dull eyes – but then again, Miroku was extremely worried about her, although he wouldn't explain.

"Miroku, do you think…" She couldn't finish the sentence, her near-birth hormones sending Sango over the edge.

"Ssh…" he soothed, rubbing circles on his wife's back. He couldn't tell her the truth, not now. In all honesty, he did fear that Kagome had passed on. Her powers had been so weak, and it had been over a month since Inuyasha had come. Perhaps he was stricken with grief…

"I don't know what I'd do…" Sango sobbed into her husband's robe.

He nodded. "I'm sure she's fine. Perhaps Inuyasha simply is enjoying his time for once," the monk told her, but not believing it himself. The hanyou had a strong sense of duty, and even if he was finally living a normal life, he would come back just to make sure all was fine within the village.

"I hope you're right."

~~~~~%~~

Kagome giggled, the sound music to Inuyasha's furry ears. "Inuyasha," she said breathily, "don't you think we should go back to the Feudal Era? Or at least you… you haven't been there in so lo-"

She was cut off by an enthusiastic kiss, giggling again at his boldness. Every day, she could feel him getting happier, and in turn, she felt better, happier. Not whole, but happier.

It wasn't how Romeo and Juliet went. But if she had to rewrite the story so Paris would be happy and Romeo only crossed her mind in her dreams, she would. Shakespeare be damned.

She pulled away from him reluctantly, laughing as he pouted. "Listen. I'm going out with the girls today. Why don't you go back? I bet they're worried."

"Keh, they can deal with it," he said, pulling her close again for another heated kiss.

He had decided. He was going to give her more time, but she was practically begging for it, and he hadn't been sure how much more he could take. He had woken up a few times with her touching him, and although it was a _very_ nice way to enter the land of the living, he knew that if he didn't stop her advances, he was going to fail his plan. It had happened this morning, her hand attempting to weasel its' way down his hakama as she kissed his neck. It was more painful to wrench himself away from her than when she had left him. He had to leave the shrine to calm himself. And she was fine with that; she knew what she did to him, and it had almost become a game to her. It didn't hurt her feelings – although it had the first time he had had to leave – since he always came back.

Then later in the day with nothing to do, and the very few Shrine visitors being handled by her grandfather, her mother shopping – she had been relieved to get away from the house, now that Kagome wasn't running off to the store every five minutes – and Souta at school, she and Inuyasha were practically alone on the acres of land the Shrine was on. Kagome had suddenly grabbed Inuyasha by his wrist and, leading the confused hanyou, pinned him against the wall inside the well house.

That was when he knew that she was going to be all right. She was ready, and so was he. Er, perhaps he was a little more ready than he liked.

She had kissed him without abandon, her hands exploring him, learning the lines of his hard body. And with his new knowledge, he wanted to explore, too. But he still couldn't. Not until after… But she had no idea. His hands betrayed him, one shaking on her waist, the other shivering against her neck. She pressed against him pointedly, and he groaned deliciously. He still wouldn't growl, which she missed, but was grateful for.

In a bold move, she ground against him, temporarily paralyzing him. She grabbed his wrists and held them above his head, her tiny fingers trying to hold them both in one hand. He allowed her to do this, although he knew that she was nothing compared to his strength. He grinned darkly at her, a fang popping out over his lip. A thrill ran up her spine, and she kissed him hungrily in the darkness of the well house. He only stopped her when he realized that her free hand was attempting to work its' way into his hakama once again. With a sigh, he broke her grip and seized her hands. She pouted, and he laughed.

~~~~~%~~

She had been gone for a few hours when he finally decided that maybe he should go see their friends. After all, he was becoming lazy just laying around the shrine with Kagome. He knew she would be fine – everyone did. Her mother had pulled him aside and hugged him, grateful for her daughter's little weight gain and uplifted mood. She also offered him a sly smile, to which he blushed furiously. Obviously, she knew more than they wanted her to know. Funny, he never felt her presence…

So now he rushed to the well, knowing that he probably had only an hour before Kagome was going to be home, and he was excited to see her after they had been separated for a few hours. In the past months, they had hardly been apart for any conscious amount of time – only when she was sleeping. Leaving his heart in the future, Inuyasha jumped into the past.

~~~~~%~~

"Kagome, you look sooooo much better!" Ayumi squealed, delighted to have her friend back after so long.

Kagome was peeved; didn't they have the decency to not bring it up? Maybe this hadn't been a good idea…

"Well, I'm happy for you," Eri chimed always the perceptive one.

"Do we have time to eat before the movie?" Yuka asked the others.

Kagome looked at her cell phone. "No, we should hurry. As it is, we're late from waiting for Ayumi," she said, smirking.

"It's not my fault I had company," their friend defended, sounding haughtier than she was allowed.

"Oooh…" was the consensus from the other three girls.

Kagome was the one to become snarky. When had she become the sarcastic one? "I hardly call Hojo company," she said, looking away.

The other two giggled, scandalized.

"Just because he wasn't good enough for _you_, Kagome, doesn't mean he's not good," Ayumi shot back.

Kagome grinned, enjoying the challenge. It was nice, not being the one everyone was centered on for once. "He's boring," Kagome droned, making her voice as dull and sympathetic as possible.

"I'm sorry they can't _all_ be two-timing bad boys or their brothers," Ayumi said harshly, clearly annoyed now.

Kagome couldn't believe it still could hurt so much, after all this time. Yuka and Eri crowded around her as soon as they saw her face fall.

"That wasn't nice," Eri frowned, hugging her friend.

"That was uncalled for," Yuka agreed.

It was three against one, and she wasn't going to win. Besides, she knew Kagome was right; Hojo was kinda boring. She apologized, and the three made their way to the movie.

Kagome had had some practice in pushing away the things that hurt her, so she was grateful that twenty minutes into the movie, a romantic comedy, she had forgotten her friend's hurtful statement.

~~~~~%~~

Inuyasha ran into the village, wondering why there were so many people still milling around when it was dinner time. He stopped at Kaede's home first, since she was the closest, but the hut was empty. Frowning, he set out for his comrade's home. He noticed it got busier as he neared the monk and taijiya's house. Running once again, he listened to the voices. They were agitated and excited. People were scurrying around, and he was shoved by some – followed by apologies when they realized who it was – as he made his way to the entrance.

He found Miroku at the door.

"What's going on?" he asked harshly.

Miroku offered him a smile. "Welcome back, Inuyasha. We've been worried. You have excellent timing…"

Just then, the hanyou heard the keening wail come from inside, and tried to bolt into the home. The monk stopped him with an arm in front of the door, and Inuyasha considered taking it off.

"Hold on there, brother," Miroku said gently.

Inuyasha pinned him with a glare, impatient.

"She's going to give birth," Miroku explained.

His eyes widening with every second, Inuyasha understood. Then he became excited, a goofy grin spreading across his face. "Really? Oh, man! That's great!" He turned, as if to get Kagome's opinion. Then he frowned, remembering. "Kagome's gonna wanna be here," he said mostly to himself.

"She didn't come?" Miroku asked mildly, trying to keep the interest from his voice.

"Naw, she's with some friends," the hanyou explained, running a frustrated hand through his hair.

Now Miroku smiled genuinely. Everything was going to be fine. "That's wonderful, Inuyasha. How has she been?"

What could he say? That she seemed normal? That she had become this passionate, needy animal? That she made him feel like he was both dreaming and in heaven at the same time? That he loved her, and was finally going to ask for her hand?

His expression and deep blush was all the answer the monk needed. He smirked at his friend, patting him on the back. "Congratulations. I was worried for a while there, about both of you…"

"Congrats for what?" Inuyasha cried, defensive now. Had he really given so much away with his expression?

Miroku leered at him, and the half-demon blushed an impossible shade of red.

Unable to take the pressure anymore, it came out all at once. "Okay, so we've been kissing and I wanna ask her to marry me."

Miroku struggled to keep up and separate the words, but once he did, he drew Inuyasha in for a hug. "Excellent, brother!" he called loudly.

On a break from her contractions, Sango called to him. "Who are you talking to, houshi?"

"Inuyasha! He's finally come. Bearing good news, at that."

Kaede and Rin emerged from the home, both looking a little haggard. Impossibly, Kohaku also returned from an errand at the same time.

"Okay, what's the news?" Rin asked.

Inuyasha blushed again. Miroku laughed. "He and Kagome are together finally. He will ask for her hand," Miroku explained loud enough for his wife to hear.

Miroku, Kaede, and Sango spoke excitedly while Inuyasha looked away, wishing they would quit. Only Rin remained silent, exchanging a glance with Kohaku, her confidant.

After a few moments, they quieted down. Kaede returned to Sango's side just before another contraction hit. Once the wailing started again, Rin ran inside and the men were left feeling helpless outside. Miroku ran a frustrated hand through his hair. Kohaku switched his weight from foot to foot constantly. Inuyasha winced from the sounds of Sango's pain.

"It's getting close," he heard Kaede say.

"I'll get the water," Rin said dutifully.

Then Inuyasha snapped into action. Quickly, he turned to leave.

"Inuyasha, where are you going?" Miroku asked.

"To get Kagome," he replied without turning back. And then he was just a blur of red and white.

~~~~~%~~

Kagome had just sat down on her bed, wondering if Inuyasha had taken her up on her idea. She took off her sweater now that she was inside the warm house. She thought about putting on a pair of her skimpiest pajamas when suddenly Inuyasha was at her window. She saw the panic in his eyes. Her heart stuttered as she thought of all the things that could have gone wrong…

_Was there an attack? Did anyone get hurt? Did anyone die?_ Maybe it wasn't that at all. _Did he come across Sessh_ – him? _Did they fight?_ He didn't look hurt.

Inuyasha read the frenzy in her eyes and instantly reached for her. It was cool outside, so he closed the window behind him first. She didn't ask, but he smiled at her. It confused her, making her frown.

"It's okay, Kagome," he said.

Funny how those words soothed her, even though she still had no idea what was going on. She gazed into his eyes, azure into amber, and he leaned down to take her lips in a gentle kiss. She melted into his embrace, comforted. She was panting slightly when he pulled away, and he was glad he could do this for her.

When she looked at him questioningly, he smiled.

"It's time," he said.

She frowned deeper.

He chuckled, a warm sound that made her feel lighthearted. "Sango."

It took a minute, but he could almost hear the wheels click in her head as she figured it out. Her expression became half-frenzied, half-excited.

"Oh my god! We have to go!" She ran for the window, but Inuyasha held her back, laughing.

"We don't have to go though there, ya know," he announced.

She thought about it for a second and nodded, smiling. "You're right."

She yanked him by his wrist, and they practically flew down the stairs. Kagome's mother rose an eyebrow at them, knowing she had not seen Inuyasha come in the house and also knowing he was usually back in his own time by now. She wondered if this was an ongoing thing.

"Mama, Sango's having her baby!" she cried, excited and wanting to be on their way.

Understanding, her mother grinned. "Oh! No wonder! That's wonderful, honey. Stay as long as you need."

Kagome kissed her mother on the cheek swiftly and began to leave. Inuyasha was on her heels, but he felt a glare boring into him. When he turned, he found Kagome's mother giving him a pointed look. His eyes widened slightly before he turned to follow Kagome.

She was trying to run, but even so, she just couldn't go fast enough. So a few yards from the house, Inuyasha scooped Kagome into his arms – a position in which he hardly ever carried her – and fled to the well house.

~~~~~%~~

It had gone surprisingly well. There wasn't much time for a reunion, and in her panic and excitement, Kagome forgot her fear of the village. Sango had labored like a champion, never complaining. The newborn boy that was presented to Miroku was large, and he felt guilty that Sango had endured so much.

The mother was resting quietly, her attendees – Rin, Kaede, and Kagome – cleaning up. The young boy had already eaten, and his father was rocking him as he slept. A freshly clothed Sango sighed in her sleep, and Kagome fought a smile. She had been horrified to see the process, but was intensely glad it had went well, mother and son healthy and happy. All these months, Sango had been telling Kagome pregnancy stories about how drastically it had changed her body, attitude, and the way she thought. Pregnancy left no stone unturned, and it frightened the girl who tried desperately to remember that not long ago, she had unprotected sex with a demon, risking hanyou children he was sure to hate.

Saddened by the thought, she left the stuffy hut to see how the men were doing.

She was awed by the look on Inuyasha's face – he looked so peaceful, like he wished he was the father. Suddenly, Kagome wondered if he wanted children, and if he could have them. Was there such a thing as a quarter-demon? Three years in the Sengoku Jidai told her no, that hanyou usually never found mates. She was deeply saddened, and then surprised by her own reaction. It must be al the emotions – the atmosphere was getting to her.

She walked to the hanyou's side to get a better look at the strong son of her friends, and Inuyasha put an arm around her waist, pulling her close. She almost shied away, being in the presence of their friends and village, but no one seemed to notice; all eyes were on the newest villager. So she cuddled up to him, her body molding to his.

"Have you thought of a name?" she asked.

"Not yet," Miroku replied soothingly, not taking his eyes off the infant.

Kagome was awed yet again. She had never seen the monk like this. He had always been the calmest of their group by a long shot – she assumed meditation had a lot to do with that, and maybe she should give it a try? – but he was so serene, as if he were happy to spend the rest of his life in that spot, never moving and never taking his eyes from his son. Suddenly, the emotional climate was a little too much for her, and she pulled away from Inuyasha, walking towards the bridge.

Puzzled, he followed her.

When she finally stopped on the other side of the river, she didn't turn to him, she simply gazed up at the stars she could hardly see in her own Era.

"Kagome?" the hanyou asked cautiously, reaching for her arm.

She turned, as if startled, and he carefully watched her face. There was a sadness to her expression, but it didn't seem like it was coming from her pain. It was something else…

"Is everything okay? You tired? You wanna go home?"

She smiled weakly, seeing how protective he was. "No, it's okay, Inuyasha. I'm just a little worn out. And I've got some stuff on my mind."

He gave her a look that clearly stated she could talk to him about whatever she was thinking about, but she seemed disinclined to elaborate. So when she turned her face back to the stars, he came up behind her and wound his arms around her waist. They stayed like that for some time.

After a while, however, Inuyasha tensed. Kagome felt it and turned to look at him. He was frowning, looking into the trees in the forest that was a few hundred yards away. She reached a hand up to touch his face.

"Is everything okay?" she asked. Despite her long absence, she still held the jewel on a necklace around her neck.

"Everything's fine," he said tersely, as if speaking to the forest.

Then he looked down at her, into the stormy grey the moonlight turned her eyes. He was the one that seemed resolved in that moment.

He kissed her passionately, leaving them both panting until they needed air so badly they had to separate. But they didn't want to be far from each other, so her hands still rested on his shoulder and back, and his hands were still tangled in her hair with another touching the bare skin of her waist under her sweater.

Kagome giggled. "Wow, what was that for?"

He didn't smile, just stared into her eyes. He seemed to have something on his chest he needed to get off, so Kagome became serious, worried now.

He removed the hand in her hair and touched her face lovingly. "Kagome, I'm so sorry," he began, but regretted those first words when she began to panic. He could hear her heart jumping wildly in her chest and her wide-eyed expression made him want to smack his head against a tree. "Kagome, I'm sorry I wasted so much time." She was confused now, her heart slowing. "I shouldn't have doubted your love. But… I need you to know. It wasn't just that. I was also waiting for you to finish school. I didn't want to hold you back…"

He looked so tortured that she pulled him to her, and he buried his face in her hair. "It's okay, Inuyasha. It's not your fault. You never stopped loving me."

He winced when he heard her unspoken words. _… I was the one that stopped loving you_.

No. He would push that aside. Now was what mattered. And she was happy now. Happy enough to be in the village. Happy enough to see everyone. And he would try to make her happy for the rest of his life.

"Kagome, it's my fault we're not up to them," he said, swinging his head towards Miroku. She looked at him, confused. "Miroku said to me a while ago, 'I figured you and Kagome would have beat us to a wedding.' And now, I don't know why I waited. It seemed right at the time…"

Kagome's eyes widened as she realized what he was trying to say. Her breathing picked up and her heart began to race, not unnoticed.

"All I know is that I love you. Do you love me enough to marry me?" he asked, his voice and eyes vulnerable.

A tear escaped her as she stared at him, her expression either horrified or enlightened – he wasn't sure. He needed to make sure. He bent to kiss her, a light, loving kiss. Then he broke away to ask her again.

"Kagome," he said, "will you be my wife?"

------END CHAPTER---------

Haha, yes, I know, I'm evil. You know, some of you are VERY perceptive. Many of you have guessed things that are coming up. And some of you *glares at Cali* have persuaded me into giving away spoilers, or lead-ins. Where am I going to get more surprises, you guys?! Don't worry, I still have a few more twists in place.

**I also wanted to answer a few questions many of you have been asking: "Is that Sesshoumaru in Kagome's time?" YES. And no, he didn't travel through the well – he's just been living his immortal years out and now happens to live during the same time Kagome does. "Why is he talking to Kagome's mom?" To not spoil too much, I'm just going to say he had previously warned Mama that Kagome was going to fall in love with someone other than Inuyasha – which she figured out was him – and that she would be so devastated she was dangerous to herself. Of course, he knew this because in the past, Inuyasha came back to tell him so. "Is this switching to Inu/Kag?" Without spoiling the future plot, I can only say 'yes'. If you're unhappy, I'm sorry. But That's the Way Love Goes. *grin***

I also wanted to tell you guys that at my deviantART page, I asked my TWLG readers if they are going to mind an InuKag lemon, or if they would rather I skip over it. So far, the vote is FOR the lemon, so for now, I'm planning on writing it in. I only ask because I know that so many of us are LOYAL SessKag fans, and aren't thrilled with me in the first place for letting her get back with Inuyasha. All part of my plan, my little wallabies. So if you'd like, you can concern your interest or non-interest for the InuKag lemon in your review. Until next time!


	12. XII

A/N: I'm so absolutely wrapped up in this story that I haven't been able to stop myself. I realized recently that although I had another story out and my chapters in both stories are quite long, I need to get going. Because when both this story and my other are over, I still have other stories planned. It'll be hard – it makes me nervous to start a new fanbase and I always worry what you guys will think. Anyways! Jeez, all that sounds so final – I'm sorry, this story is not over, although Choices is probably about 2/3 of the way finished. And WOW. Not only was the general consensus that I should go ahead with the InuKag lemon, but I was shocked (and a little disappointed, I might add) that so many people want her to stay with Inuyasha! Boy, are you guys in for disappointment in the future. Sorry, but as I've said, this is, ultimately, a SessKag story. You guys must not read my notes, because I keep having to repeat myself. How many times must I say that this is definitely, and will remain, a SessKag pairing?! Oh well. Don't blame me when Inuyasha… Never mind. I don't want to spoil it. *chuckles darkly* **But I MUST WARN YOU ALL**: If you're going to get attached to the InuKag pairing, this isn't the story for you. You're going to be sorely disappointed (and I don't want to be blamed for more crying!) in a few chapters. So enjoy the InuKag-iness while it lasts (as I am) but please, for my sake, don't yell at me later.

This song went so perfectly with Inuyasha's state of mind that I couldn't help myself. I know many of you aren't too happy with the Inuyasha arc, but I'm hoping that you'll still read. I was reigned in from posting the entire song here – it's so perfect for him, with all it's self-conscious questions, doubting, and hope. I recommend it strongly.

"_Would you tremble… if I touched your lips?_

_Or would you laugh? Oh, please tell me this._

_Now, would you die, for the one you love?_

_Oh, hold me in your arms tonight._

_I can be your hero, baby._

_I can kiss away the pain._

_I will stand by you forever…_

_You can take my breath away_

_Would you swear… that you'll always be mine?_

_Or would you lie? Would you run and hide?_

_Am I in too deep? Have I lost my mind?_

_I don't care, you're here tonight." _- Hero, Enrique Iglesias

Surprise! A second set of lyrics for this chapter. Why, you ask? Because there is a distinct set of feelings in this chapter – Inuyasha and Kagome's love and acceptance, and Sesshoumaru's denial and hate. Don't worry, I'm not trying to make Sesshoumaru any worse of a bad guy than he is. I'm just trying to give you a little insight into what he's going through.

"_Well, I never saw it coming.  
I should've started running  
A long, long time ago.  
And I never thought to doubt you;  
I'm better off without you  
More than you, more than you know.  
_

_I'm slowly getting closure.  
I guess it's really over.  
I'm finally getting better.  
And now I'm picking up the pieces  
And spending all of these years  
Putting my heart back together.  
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,  
I got over you."_ - Over You, Daughtry

That's the Way Love Goes

Chapter XII

"Kagome, will you be my wife?"

Kagome's world shattered in that moment. She was panicked and unstable. Could she say yes? Would she say no? She wasn't sure what the right thing to do was. On the one hand, she had thought herself impossible to love again. She had hoped she would get over the pain, but she didn't want to ever forget what she had with Sesshoumaru. But… didn't she deserve to be happy?

She had been thinking of her predicament ever since it had been getting easier for her to push away the memories of her demon. Even though she loved and adored her Feudal family, it was very hard for her to go there. Even though it was far from his territory, the spiking fear that she could run into him was always nagging at her. Like a protective dog sending away potential threats to its territory – the comparison was not lost on her – her conscience's barks warned her each and every time she floated to the other side of the well. She knew that if she were to see him now, it might kill her.

So she had a dilemma. She didn't _want_ to want to go back to the Feudal Era, which was confusing enough. But the fact that she did, indeed, want to go back presented an entirely new set of challenges. If she did nothing, the temptation would always be there. And so, she had made up her mind in the two seconds it had taken for her eyes to widen at Inuyasha's naked question.

In those same two seconds, Inuyasha heard the strangled sound coming from the forest ahead. It was far, so Kagome would never have heard it, even if it had been louder. But his excellent hearing had picked it up. He was no idiot. He had felt the youki from some distance; he knew they were being watched. Really, did his brother think he was so weak that he wouldn't feel him from this distance? And his brother had known that he knew he was there. It didn't matter. The Taiyoukai didn't wait for an answer – he was gone in a flurry of power. He had to try very hard to conceal the smirk he felt growing behind his face. And now he would simply wait for the answer that would either kill him, or make him the happiest hanyou in the world.

"Yes."

Inuyasha's eyes widened impossibly when she said something. He almost missed what she had said – or his mind didn't believe it – because of where his thoughts had turned.

"Wha… What?"

Despite every bone in her body trying to run the other way – _no, not him, you love someone else, run, RUN!_ – and her mind internally cringing despite the fact that she recognized Inuyasha had, in a way, healed her, she smiled at his still non-believing stuttering.

"Really, Inuyasha. Don't be so dense."

He was going to shoot a comment back to her, his brows already drawn into a scowl, when she leaned forward and kissed him gently. When she finally pulled away, he seemed positively stunned by her actions. To be honest, ever since her… breakup with his brother, she was a changed person. She was confident and wilier. But sometimes, if he looked hard enough, he could tell that it was an act. He only hoped she wasn't acting now.

"All right," she said with a frown. "Here's the problem."

Uh-oh. Was she going to take it back?

"Inuyasha, you know that here, in the Feudal Era, we'll never find someone to marry a miko to a… demon," she struggled with the word, obviously trying to hold back memories, "… let alone a hanyou. And the problem in my time is that technically, well… you don't exist."

He looked at her with narrowed eyes. "Of course I exist, woman. If I'm there, I'm there, aren't I?"

Kagome shook her head quickly, knowing she would have a hard time getting through to him. "Inuyasha, things are different in my time, you know that."

He interrupted her, anxious to get to the point. "Yeah, so what? You tellin' me they're gonna know I'm hanyou?"

She glared at his tone. "No, baka. Just listen. In my world, everyone, from the very minute they're born, has an identity. This is so that the government – er, the ruler – knows how many people there are, where they were born, and lots of other information."

He seemed to get that part. He looked on in fascination, although he was still confused to where this was going.

"You were born here, in this time. So there's no way to prove you're alive in my time. And unfortunately, you need to be identified in order to get married. That's another thing the rulers like to know – who's married to whom. It's impossible to get married in my time. At least, legally."

He still didn't really get it, and he was getting pissed off that she was making it sound like they couldn't get married. If he had to force a priest – couldn't Miroku do it? – then he would.

"I can't get a… iden-ti-fic-a-tion?" he said, uneasy with the term.

Kagome shook her head again. "That's illegal, so the marriage wouldn't be real either way."

He had to make a choice.

"What…" She hadn't said anything about either of the holy men in her lives yet, so he was unsure of mentioning it, afraid she was moving towards declining him. "What about… Miroku? Or your grandfather?"

Her eyes shone then, and he eagerly awaited her answer.

"Miroku, as he is now married with a child, technically isn't a monk anymore. He's just used to his robes. And he still has holy powers," she added with a smirk.

Inuyasha looked at her curiously. How had he not known? No one ever mentioned this to him…

"As for jii-chan…" Here her expression turned wicked. "It won't be legal, since you still have no identity and it will take some convincing, but yes, I think we can make it work."

Wouldn't be legal? He didn't know what that meant in her times, exactly, but he couldn't risk anything else. He knew as well as she that no other would marry them here, good reputations or not. And if he truly couldn't 'exist' in her time, then this was the only other option. He'd take it.

Why was she going along with this? Why hadn't she just said 'no, it's impossible in either of our times'? It would have been so easy – she could have made him happy with the knowledge that she wanted to marry him without actually going through with it! But… He had looked so vulnerable when he had asked. So hopeful. And honestly, although she wasn't in love with him, she certainly did love him and care for him. And so she found herself wanting to make the man who had dredged her back to the living happy. He didn't ever have to know what she was really thinking. And she didn't ever want him to find out.

~~~~~%~~

Why was he panicking? His heart was racing erratically and he was frantically seeking the shelter of his own territory. This was ridiculous!

Sesshoumaru had been wandering – he had taken to the habit again, and was reminded, ruefully, of a certain conversation with a certain miko – and the wandering had taken him, unbeknownst to him, towards Kagome's – no, _Inuyasha's_ – village. Until he was close enough to hear the commotion, he really hadn't even realized he had been travelling east. But the bustle had drawn his curiosity, and he came closer, although he didn't dare leave the forest.

From what he could ascertain, there was an impending birth. His mind flashed to the strong taijiya, the miko's friend. Of course, it could be anyone, but with the noise centered at the edge of the village – where he knew the monk and demonslayer lived – he assumed it was her. He felt Rin's bright light, attuned to it from years of travel together. He also felt the demonslayer boy – the one that had shown interest in the girl. It was easier for him to think of Rin now. He had settled the battle within, telling himself that she was better off with the humans. Also, she seemed to be enjoying being near the boy.

And then he felt her. He hadn't been this way in so long, wanting to avoid simple memories of her, so he was completely riveted to the floor when he felt her powerful presence. He almost turned around to flee, but… Before he knew it, his feet were moving him forward, out into the open. It was like her powers were calling to him, telling his youki to come claim her. Angry, he squashed the feeling. He belonged to no one, let alone a human.

He growled, although no one was around to hear it. Despite the need to get away from her, to stay away, he felt rooted to the spot. He could feel her getting closer – did she feel him as well? Was she coming to him? Would he, could he turn away if she did? – and panic rose in his chest, its' dark tendrils squeezing his heart. And then he berated himself mentally. Panic was not befitting a Taiyoukai, and it would not do.

He listened, and was relieved that she seemed to have stopped at the edge of the village. Obviously, she had come for the birth. He could hear her voice now, and was disconcerted to hear how much it pleased him to hear her. Stomping down the emotion, he tried to listen more carefully. She was inside the home now, and between the child-bearing and the nervous males, he could hear her no longer. He found himself longing for her voice, but again, he denied himself the pleasure.

He waited until he heard the newborn cry. At that point, he told himself that any excitement that he had squeezed from this excursion was over, and that he should leave. At first, he felt disinclined to leave. But after a few minutes of only feeling her now exhausted aura, he knew he should go. He turned back to the forest. He was only remotely hidden in the dark trees before he felt both her power and his brother's youki coming towards him. They were coming into the forest? Together? His interest piqued once again, he remained hidden in between the darkened trees.

He could clearly see that she led the way – had she finally noticed him? He thought about leaving, but she stopped soon after crossing the river and he saw the concern in the hanyou's eyes. He called to her, and asked about her state. Sesshoumaru almost scoffed – any idiot could see she was exhausted. Disturbed by his defensive thoughts, Sesshoumaru almost growled at himself. But that would be silly. Although no more silly than spying on a hanyou and miko's private conversation.

That one was almost enough to make him leave, but then she spoke. And she was closer now, so her voice filled him with a longing that – despite his internal warring – rocked him. He almost missed her answer, he was focusing on quelling the feeling to run to her. She simply told the hanyou what he could tell from here.

He watched her for a moment as she watched the stars, and he felt deeply sad. He knew where her thoughts had turned, because he, too, often found himself gazing at the stars and questioning himself and his motives. And then Inuyasha's movement caught his golden gaze and Sesshoumaru literally had to bite his own arm to keep himself from running across the field and ripping the hanyou's arms off.

He had come up behind Kagome – so comfortably – and wound his arms around her! And she allowed it! His eyes bleeding red, it took all the strength he had from letting his beast take over and achieving the blood it called for. The blood of the woman who crossed him, and his unloyal brother.

But wait…

He was the one that pushed her away. In a rage – _to keep his pride and reputation intact_, he told himself – he bade her from his lands along with Rin. He had absolutely no right to her now. Forcing himself to look back at them, he saw Inuyasha looking in his direction. _Ah, so he can see me? He's doing this on purpose_. He thought about sending his brother a growl of warning, but Kagome would hear it, and he didn't want her to know he was here, since it seemed she hadn't noticed. He was disheartened to see her reach up to caress the hanyou, and the jealousy Sesshoumaru felt was unbearable.

This time, she asked the half-breed if he was well, and it drew Inuyasha's attention back to her. He could see her toying with the jewel they protected. His brother looked straight at him as he replied, telling her everything was well. He assumed Inuyasha was trying to send him a message. He wouldn't let it faze him.

And then he saw the resolve in his brother's eyes. He knew, and he felt he should turn away. But he couldn't. Torturously, he watched as the hanyou captured her lips. They remained thusly for some time, and Sesshoumaru had so many emotions flitting through him, he was unsure of what to do. He wanted to rip them apart and run away with the woman – he realized then that he could break her in the process, when did she get so thin? – but he also wanted to chain himself to a wall and never think of her again. Envy, hatred, longing, and self-loathing warred within him like a maelstrom, and he didn't know how to act.

Then, thankfully, it was over. Unfortunately, Kagome seemed appreciative, and he couldn't stand the tone in her voice, aimed at his brother. The only thing that stopped Sesshoumaru, in that moment, was the look on Inuyasha's face. He seemed worried, and the youkai hardly thought his brother should be worried after taking Kagome's lips so possessively.

And then the hanyou was confessing. It was slow, since he was nervous. He hesitated a lot and was trying to get the correct words out. He apologized for their past. And Kagome was forgiving him. Despite everything he put her through, she was forgiving him. Although if she didn't, she wouldn't be Kagome. His brother was then speaking in riddles. Sesshoumaru didn't try to understand, he just wanted to see Kagome's reactions. Perhaps she would remember why she had fallen out of love with the hanyou and would walk away?

He was disturbed to find he was hoping for this conclusion.

Frowning at himself, he kept listening to Inuyasha's rambling. He was waiting for Kagome to say something so intently he almost missed the half-breed's question. He smelled the tears as he roared within the confines of his head. _No! Not with him! You belong to me! You do not love him!_ Inuyasha reiterated his question, and it was too much. The betrayal and anger was too much, and a groan escaped his lips. Without waiting for the answer, he turned to run. But not before meeting Inuyasha's knowing gaze.

~~~~~%~~

After they had decided that, legal or not, they were going to get married in her time, Inuyasha could stand it no longer. He lifted Kagome in his arms, swinging her around. She giggled, thrilled that she had made him so happy. She was convinced then that she could do this for him, if just to see him like this.

"Gods, woman," he practically groaned into her ear, "I can't even tell you how happy you've made me."

He swept her into a slowly building kiss then, and Kagome could feel his need growing. He was careful at first, his lips moving with hers. But then he became needy and desperate, as if she would blow away with the next breeze. A tiny part of her brain wondered if he was going to try to have sex with her then, and part of her wondered – despite her earlier thoughts – if she would let him.

But how could she deny him? She needed to feel whole again, and if – she cringed at the thought – she couldn't have the man she really wanted, wouldn't it be enough to have Inuyasha? She hoped so.

He was pulling away then, and grabbed her hand. He began leading her over the bridge again, but once they were on the other side of the river, it was too much for him. He scooped her up in his arms and practically ran back to their friends' house. By now, anyone who wasn't related had left, and those that were had gone inside. Despite her protests and angry, meaningful looks, Inuyasha swept into the home with Kagome in his arms.

They both blushed slightly at the scrutinizing stares, but then Sango's face lit up into a grin. "Are you…?" She wasn't able to finish, hoping against hope that the two were back together. After all, it was paining her to see the woman she called sister hurt so deeply. The demonslayer wasn't stupid – she knew Kagome didn't easily get over heartbreak, after all the pining she had done over Inuyasha. But she also knew that the cruel Taiyoukai had gotten his memory back, and both she and Kagome knew his softer, caring side wasn't coming back.

"Well done, Inuyasha." It had come from Miroku, who was sitting next to his wife.

Kagome sent her fiancé – she didn't want to explore the reason that word killed her so much – a glare. So, he had told Miroku before it even happened? But the hanyou only responded with a grin that spread from fuzzy ear to fuzzy ear. How could she stay mad at him when he was so happy? After all, a smile was all part of the charade. If she didn't appear happy now, they would see right through her. She took it upon herself to say something. That would convince them of any doubts.

"We're getting married," she said with a smile, looking at both Miroku then Sango.

And so the commotion began. Sango's squeals of delight, Miroku's pats on the back. Kohaku crossed the room from where he had been standing with Rin, Shippou, and Kaede to congratulate them. Kaede offered her prayer from where she was, cooking a meal for the tired new mother and their family. Shippou, always so perceptive, gently offered Kagome a smile, which she reciprocated. But Kagome avoided one set of eyes. Big brown eyes that would look right through her. Fawn-like eyes that would see her deception.

Rin could tell that Kagome wasn't happy. She had known all this time. Ever since – a few months ago – she had begun seeing Kagome by the well, she could see it. The tightening around the miko's eyes when she smiled. The convenient changing of subjects whenever something reminded her of the demon. Her subtle looking away when something was difficult to talk about, even though she never let on that it was.

Only because she had spent time with her, and because Rin often felt the same way, did she know Kagome's pain. And she wasn't going to stand for this… charade. Oh, she wouldn't dare embarrass her friend here. No, she would find her alone and scold her. This lying would not do, and it would only hurt Inuyasha more if he found out.

With the thought of Inuyasha's name, Rin looked to him. He was still as happy as an ignorant fool could be. She could understand why Kagome was doing this. Obviously, she felt she owed the hanyou something. Rin wasn't stupid; she knew the animosity that stewed between the brothers. And the fact that Kagome had been between them, each wanting her, one having lost her and the other having found her, wasn't easy to swallow. If she looked carefully, she thought Inuyasha looked a little smug, even.

But she had been there. She had heard her Lord's words. And it had seemed he was most angry with Kagome – with the fact that he had been with a human woman. Rin had begun to blame him less and less on her own behalf, but she was quite upset with him for destroying Kagome so thoroughly. Kagome had – in the few weeks she was able to spend with her – become a sister, friend, and mother in one. And now, Kagome was suffering because the youkai she had followed so obediently, so carelessly, had turned against them both. All because of his memories.

Rin stared her down hard. She didn't dare frown in the least; anything besides good will would give the two of them away. But she didn't smile, either. Kohaku, ever aware of his lovely Rin's moods, noticed and came to stand beside her again. He wanted to speak with her badly, but knew this was not the place. No matter how low his voice or how he shielded it, the hanyou would hear. And the question he wanted to ask would not be in Inuyasha's best interest. So he would wait until he could get Rin alone. Although he had a sneaking suspicion that his betrothed was aching to get someone else alone.

She could feel Rin's eyes boring into her, as if they were silently accusing her. So, the girl knew? Oh well, there wasn't anything she could do about it, then. But she felt that no matter what, Rin would not say anything to anyone. They had bonded greatly in their time together, and she had even helped her get together with the silent, brooding young man that now stood by her side.

But just knowing that Rin knew was disconcerting. She needed to leave. She needed to get away from here. The air was stifling, but in a different way now. She had to…

"…me?"

She blinked, looking at Inuyasha. "Eh?"

The room erupted with laughter.

"Busy planning the wedding already?" Sango said wryly.

Inuyasha smiled down at her. She looked confused, and he took pity on her. "Miroku was trying to ask you something, but you didn't seem to be here."

"I'm so sorry, Miroku," Kagome blushed.

Characteristically, he waved it off. "Do not trouble yourself over it," he smiled. She looked to him to continue, so he tried again. "I was asking if you perhaps would like me to see over your wedding?"

She was struck for a moment – wasn't he unable to perform his, er, monk-ly duties now?

He seemed to understand, and answered her question without hearing it. "It is true, I cannot legally bind you, since I am not a practicing monk anymore. But even were I, it would still be against our laws – as Buddhists – to wed a hanyou and human. But I assume that you cannot legally wed in your time as well?"

He meant for her to answer, she knew. How would he have known? "Yes," was all she could manage.

"In that case, although it would be false, I could still join you. It would be for all of us, and I'm sure the villagers would enjoy it."

_The villagers_. It was all spiraling out of control quickly, and she couldn't stop it.

Before she knew it, the entire day was planned. She only nodded dumbly or offered 'yeses' where needed, but couldn't voice any other idea, because she knew that if she opened her mouth for more than one second, she would either scream, cry, or take it all back. Maybe, she mused, she would do all three.

Inuyasha had proudly told their friends of Kagome's earlier idea, so they all busily planned a double wedding. They would have the big ceremony here: near Goshinboku, they would build an altar. Kohaku would look after Inuyasha, Rin and Sango would look after Kagome. The whole village would be invited, and as was customary, they would bring whatever they thought was necessary – food, gifts, or coin. Inuyasha scoffed at this – food was going to be needed for everyone, but they didn't need presents or money from their village.

In that moment, Kagome found the courage to continue, because she was reminded of why she was doing this. Selfless, sweet Inuyasha, who had never let her down. The one who hadn't abandoned her.

They continued, telling her that in her time, they could plan an evening wedding. Obviously, only her family would be able to attend. So it didn't require much planning. They left it up to Kagome to deal with that.

The rest blurred for Kagome. She couldn't listen to people she loved so much speak of her future as if it was so obvious. Like this had all been planned so long ago. _We were all making wedding plans for the two of you ever since Naraku's defeat_, Sango would say. _We all knew it would always be the two of you_, Miroku would agree. _Meant for each other_, Kaede would continue. _I'm sorry – they were all just waiting on me,_ Inuyasha would offer.

She avoided the eyes of the one person that now knew her best. The one person that had been shunned as she had. The one person who would not be congratulating her. The only one who would be saying _'No, they weren't meant for each other. Kagome belongs to someone else now.'_ Rin.

~~~~~%~~

The days blurred and blended, leaving Sesshoumaru in a state of hatred and confusion. Confusion because he wasn't sure when the last time he slept was. Confusion because every time he closed his eyes, he saw her face and heard her voice, or saw Inuyasha's smirk. The hatred was easier. Hate was ugly. He hated his brother for being such a bastard – he should have killed him long ago. He hated Kagome for accepting to marry a hanyou. And most of all, he hated himself.

Oh, there were so many reasons to hate himself. First and foremost was because he absolutely, positively, completely, entirely, certainly and definitely did not want a human woman. Mostly. Because then his Great and Terrible father would look down or up at him, depending on where he had been sent, and would give him that annoyingly knowing smirk he remembered. He could almost hear the ensuing chuckle.

'_So, following in your father's footsteps, eh, son?'_

_No_.

'_I expected it from Inuyasha and hoped it for you, but I never thought you would go this far. You surprised me enough with Rin.'_

He was surprised to imagine his father speaking of Rin, but it didn't change his answer. _Hn._

'_You know, you love her.'_

_No._ Funny how he felt he was lying to himself.

'_Then why do you grieve so?'_

He wanted to tell his imaginary father's voice that he wasn't, that he would not stoop to loving a human, and could he please leave him alone to sulk? But the anger was too much, and Sesshoumaru was a man that never felt the need to explain himself, even to visions of his dead father.

_No._

The Dog General laughed, a dark and deep sound. It was so familiar that Sesshoumaru was stunned; it sounded so real. _'My son, you delude yourself. One day, you will wake up and find that you are too late. And you will hate yourself more than you do now. You will suffer.'_

Sesshoumaru had the decency to growl. Did his imagined father not realize how much he hated the woman for intruding in his life and taking things from him she had no right to?

_No_.

Again, it was so familiar Sesshoumaru thought his father was standing next to him. There was a long, suffering sigh. _'So be it. You will learn the hard way. But I warn you, Sesshoumaru. The longer you keep fighting acceptance, the harder it will be to find yourself.'_

And with that, the voice was gone. Sesshoumaru was stunned. Had he actually made that up? He hadn't known he was so creative. But, since it _had_ been an imaginary conversation, he needn't take heed. The advice was unwanted and unnecessary. So he would continue to hate himself, his brother, and the miko. After all, it was easier to hate her, now that he saw how much better he was off without her. If she was around, he was certain his imaginary father would revisit him just to taunt him. On an off note, it was duly noted that his father was a lot more sarcastic than he remembered.

_Laugh if you may, father. But I am over her_. Well, if there was something worth being over in the first place. Which there absolutely was not.

~~~~~%~~

The reception at home had gone well. Mama had been surprised but was happy. Her brother was thrilled to be related to a half-demon. Her grandfather… that had taken some work, with help from all around. But eventually, he had relented, if only because his daughter-in-law asked so nicely. Kagome couldn't help feel that he was the only one that was looking out for her, although if he had any idea who she really wanted, he would probably have a stroke.

Kagome listened as they sat around the dinner table discussing her future. She didn't say anything. It was mostly her mother and fiancé – she cringed – that spoke. It was already late and Souta had even excused himself to go to bed when Inuyasha was telling his future mother-in-law the plans that they had made for the Sengoku Jidai. She had thought them lovely, and mentioned having the same ceremony done here, under the same tree. Inuyasha was ecstatic, and Kagome could only smile and nod.

Knowing her daughter wasn't fond of being the center of attention, Mrs. Higurashi allowed Inuyasha to do most of the talking. He was so excited. But she knew the young woman well, and could see she was putting on a brave face. The heavy knowledge of why her daughter wasn't truly happy weighed her down. She wished she could alleviate it. She wished she could tell Kagome that she wasn't lost – not yet. There was hope for the future, if only she could hold on long enough to get through it. She wanted to let her know that the demon she loved so much was hurting as much as she, and had been for several centuries.

Of course, this didn't lessen her anger. She knew without a doubt that if she had one-tenth the powers her daughter had, she would fry the pompous demon that had hurt her daughter so much. She knew she hadn't been able to change the past for fear of changing the future. She had also known that it was destined for Inuyasha and Kagome to be married – the youkai had told her so himself. What she didn't still understand was why, if he loved her so and regretted his past actions, did he let this go on? Why did she constantly have to mask his presence with bottles upon bottles of bleach? She understood that in order for the past wedding to take place, the future one did as well. And perhaps, he knew her daughter better than she; there was no question in her mind that if he revealed himself to Kagome now, she would take him back in a heartbeat. If only the demon were more talkative. He hardly ever explained himself.

~~~~~%~~

The months went by, and the buzz about their wedding had calmed in order for a new buzz to take its' place – Kohaku and Rin's wedding. She was going to be thirteen in a few weeks and Kohaku was sixteen, and it was more than acceptable for them to get married in their Era. Especially since Kohaku was such a wonderful provider. He, Miroku, and sometimes Inuyasha – when he found time to come back – were nearly done building the home he would share with his new bride. He had also claimed some land, building crops to trade with and use for their own meals. He wasn't a successful hunter – he never liked to kill, even for his own nourishment – but Rin had happily agreed to take it upon herself. She had no problem fishing, and hunting wasn't as daunting for her, being raised by a youkai such as Sesshoumaru.

Rin had also taken to learning from both Kaede and Sango. The older miko was teaching her to cook and sew, and along the way, Rin had taken an interest in the way of the miko. She would be married, so she wouldn't be a true miko, but she could help the sick and that's all Rin really wanted. Her future sister-in-law taught her much about being a wife and mother, although Rin wasn't eager for that part. To be honest, the village life was a little stifling for her, growing up wild and traipsing along after a demon lord to fight. Kohaku understood this and loved her anyways.

After Kagome's stories of Christmas, Rin had wanted a winter wedding. Kohaku had tried to talk her out of it, begging for the villager's sakes. It would be cold, and they would all be miserable listening to the ceremony in almost snow-worthy weather. Of course it didn't often snow in Edo – if it did, it melted quickly – but the biting wind would be enough for the villagers to decline the invitation.

Kagome hardly came to visit her, and she knew why. She knew the miko would have a hard time facing her, and probably didn't want to talk about it. But Rin knew she needed to talk about it. Especially since everyone else seemed so oblivious. But she couldn't reach into the well and pull Kagome out, and Inuyasha seemed unable to convince his future bride to come to her.

With only a month before her wedding and then four more months until Kagome's, Rin wondered if she could ever make her friend see the error of her ways.

~~~~~%~~

There was a loud crash from the bathroom to which Kagome's eyes opened wide. She knew it was going to be trouble. She had tried to talk him out of it, telling him that it wasn't necessary, since they were going to the Feudal Era, but he had seen her appreciative once-over and wanted to do this for her.

"Are you okay?" she asked tentatively, her hand on the bathroom door.

"Fucking fine," he grumbled.

She could hear his struggle and laughed quietly to herself, knowing he was too absorbed to hear her. She had offered her help before, but he wouldn't have it. Oh sure, he had agreed at first, since there was no one else he would rather have helping him with these sorts of things. But when she brought her hands to his body and had to pull, grab, and over-all touch, he pushed her away. She smirked now, remembering.

Since they had taken their relationship to the next level with kissing, he had been reluctant to go further. Beyond reluctant. He was downright noncompliant. She knew that he was inexperienced, but she also had the sneaking suspicion that he wanted to marry her first. She sighed to herself. Damn honorable, recalcitrant hanyou.

He had heard her sigh – one he knew well; it marked her impatience with him – and was worried now. For god's sake, he wanted her to help him, but her innocent touches drove him mad! And he was absolutely intent on making her his own only once they were bound. It was the only way he knew she wouldn't be making a mistake. He wasn't stupid; he knew she still thought of his brother.

He finally opened the door, worry etched into his features. His shirt was only half tucked into his pants in a haphazardly manner. Said pants were crooked and unzipped, and his socks were… let's just say not right. Kagome would have sighed again if it hadn't been so funny.

She laughed. "Didn't Souta teach you anything?" She didn't wait for an answer; she tugged on his pants to straighten them as she used her other hand to tuck the shirt in properly.

Her brother, when finding out that Inuyasha was going to slowly begin to wear modern clothing, took it upon himself to teach the hanyou about clothes. But Inuyasha had a short attention span – if they weren't instructions on killing a demon, he wasn't interested. Of course, he could barely even pretend to pay attention with Kagome, so she had foisted him upon her brother, who took the charge seriously. Unfortunately, Inuyasha had not. Obviously he had been daydreaming when Souta had taught him to put the clothing on properly.

He grumbled, feigning ignorance. "Keh, it's not that. It's the fact that it's all still so weird."

Kagome's eyes grew sad. "Inuyasha, I've told you a hundred times, you don't need to do this for me."

He frowned at her. "Save it, woman. If we're gonna be married, and you're gonna wanna spend a lotta time here, I can't run around in my regular clothes, right?"

Kagome's eyes softened, knowing how strange and unfamiliar this was for him. "I know, Inuyasha. It's just that… I don't need you to change. I like you… just the way you are."

Except for their impending vows, those were easily the most important words he would ever hear. And for that, he would change everything, just to be with her.

~~~~~%~~

The wedding was beautiful. They had decided to use a small inn the village housed, and so the villagers had piled in to keep warm. There wasn't much room, but the festivities were merry and the sake plenty. Everyone looked at Inuyasha oddly – as they often did with Kagome – with his button down shirt, pants, and shoes, but with his rash attitude and malevolent glares, no one dared ask. Except, of course, his friends, who thought Inuyasha no more dangerous than a Shiba Inu. This did not help his mood.

Miroku had laughed. "So, Inuyasha, are you finally realizing that Kagome makes the rules?"

"I asked for this," he had growled.

"Of course you did, my friend," Miroku had said – a little too sympathetically - before patting Inuyasha on the back. They walked together towards the monk's home, where his young brother-in-law was getting dressed.

Sango, child on hip, had brought Kagome to the inn, where they were going to get Rin dressed in an elaborate wedding kimono. Rin and Kohaku had lied to everyone, telling them they had bought it themselves. The truth was that Jaken – by his begrudging master's wishes – had cornered Kohaku in his own rice field and bade him accept it. It was all too much. He had first thought to dump it; he knew it would cause trouble. But how could he refuse Rin her only dowry? Of course later, Rin informed him that there had also been a pouch with some jewels. Confused, Kohaku asked of their nature. Rin knew Sesshoumaru had no money and no need for money, as he only sought power, and when one had limitless power, the things you sought were usually given, taken, or handed down.

The last option was Rin's guess. The kimono – once she inspected it in private – was so finely made, so intricately designed, so richly colored, that she could only assume it once belonged to Sesshoumaru's mother. The jewels, obviously made for a female, were also for someone only of the status of a queen. And short of stealing them – which, although it was in his power, was completely beneath him – she could think of no other way.

And so Rin came to the conclusion that her lord, although reluctant to take her away again, still cared for her. And she knew, in that moment, that she had to claw, lie, dig, and grit her teeth to both honor her father and her friend. Because if Kagome were to find out that he had come so far to accept his makeshift daughter once again but still shun the woman he had loved, it would most probably kill her. She was probably the only person that knew that, too. Everyone else was entirely too wrapped up in the enigma that was Inuyasha and Kagome.

So it was that Rin began to cry when Kagome had complimented her beautiful wedding kimono and wished for her own. Sango and Kagome had fretted, worrying that the young woman was having second thoughts. But Rin had assured them she was fine, and was only wishing that Kagome could have a real marriage. Sango had taken the bait, assuming she meant the false union to Inuyasha. But Kagome felt that her young friend meant something else. Again, Rin hated lying.

Realizing it was now or never, Rin sweetly asked Sango to fetch the traditional wedding makeup, which she had left in the woman's home. Kagome offered to do it, wanting to get some air, but Rin had insisted a little strongly. Once she was positive they were alone, Rin turned to glare at Kagome.

"Kagome," she said in a hard voice that made the woman take a step back. "Why are you doing this?"

The miko looked confused. "Helping you? I-"

"Kagome!" she said loudly, snapping her friend out of her confusion with an angry stare.

Understanding, the guardian of the Jewel looked away, suddenly not so courageous.

Softly now, Rin walked up to her friend and put an arm around her shoulder. "Kagome, you have no idea how much I'm hurting for you."

This brought her up short. Now she was hurting Rin as well?

"Kagome, do you have any idea how much you mean to me?" the girl whispered, tears brimming, threatening to spill.

Kagome finally kicked her vocal cords into action. "Oh, Rin! You mean so much to me, too! You're so much more than a friend, or even a sister…" Not able to help herself, her own tears spilled as she clutched Rin into a hug.

The last kimono Sesshoumaru had commissioned for her – picked up shortly after Rin came to live in Edo – was now soaked with Kagome's tears, and Rin found an odd irony about it. "Please, Kagome. I know how much Inuyasha means to you, but…"

"Rin, please… Please don't force me to talk about it. We've been doing good, haven't we? I've been coming by, I've been eating, and I've been living. What more do you want?"

Rin pushed her away to look into her defeated eyes. "I want to know why you would put yourself through marrying someone you don't want to marry! If you had your choice, it would be Sesshou-"

Kagome clamped her hand over Rin's mouth, hard. Angrily, she glared at her friend. "Don't you dare, Rin. Don't say it."

In that moment, Rin understood just how deeply Kagome's wounds went. And no one, save Sesshoumaru himself, would ever be able to repair her. She sighed in defeat, and Kagome released her.

"I just want to know why," Rin said after a few moments.

"Because…" Kagome began softly. "If it weren't for Inuyasha, I would be dead. I've been… I don't know what I've been," she admitted, and Rin nodded knowingly, remembering how Kagome looked the first time she saw her. "I… owe it to him. He loves me, and I don't want him to go through the same heartbreak-" her voice broke here, a sob escaping, "-that I went through. If I can save him, then at least I'm living for something."

It was probably the saddest thing Rin had ever heard. But she would keep her friend's secret. By the time Sango got back, everything seemed as it was before, the women chatting away about the impending nuptials.

They slaved over getting Rin into the too-big kimono – the girl had lied yet again, saying they purchased one that had been reduced because it was used already by another woman. Kagome had only had a little practice and was useless with the obi, but Sango, who had practiced, saved the day. Kagome, however, had brought some tools from her time with her and used it for applying Rin's chalky white and blood-red makeup. The result gave her a softer look, and Rin was enthralled.

With all the time the preparations took, there was still a little time before the ceremony. The men, having been ready ages ago, assembled the altar in front of the Sacred Tree. The women, however, could do nothing but wait. And apparently, they chose their time to pester Kagome with questions about her own upcoming wedding.

"What will your kimono be like in your time?" Sango asked.

"Oh, I won't be wearing a kimono," Kagome said nonchalantly. The two other females looked scandalized. Kagome laughed at their expense. "I may be part of a traditional shrine, but the wedding is going to be anything but traditional." The listening women nodded, understanding a little. "You see, in my time, there are so many options for weddings. There are traditions that other lands to the east and west that have other rituals that we observe, like Christmas."

"West? Like China?" Sango asked innocently.

"Far more west than China," Kagome giggled.

"There are other lands beyond China?" her friend asked, wide-eyed.

"Yes, Sango-chan." She smiled wryly. Then Kagome noticed that Rin was looking at her like she had grown another nose on her face.

"Kagome, everyone knows there is nothing beyond the sea. The fishermen all speak of how there is endless ocean to the east," Rin said, speaking slowly as if her friend were daft.

Kagome laughed again, louder this time. "Oh, there is land to the east, all right. It just hasn't been discovered by our people yet. To be frank, our people like to keep to themselves. We're not exactly explorers. It actually gets us in a bit of trouble with the east later on," she explained, trailing off, remembering the horror of Hiroshima.

Sango and Rin eyed each other and shrugged, knowing it was beyond them. They would never know of such things. But that didn't bother them, since they were both very practical women.

And then Kaede had rushed in, telling them it was time. They arrived at Goshinboku to find Inuyasha and Miroku waiting for them. The priest worked quickly, performing the ceremony and leaving, since he had no further ties to the village. The guests retired to the inn, where they feasted and congratulated the happy couple. And throughout the night, Kagome caught Inuyasha stealing glances at her with a dreamy look in his eyes.

It was enough to make her break into a cold sweat, after her soul-baring confession to Rin.

~~~~~%~~

He couldn't not go.

He told himself that he was merely going to see Rin off, although she wouldn't see him. Of course Kagome would be there, but that was of no consequence. He wasn't going to the wedding to see how she looked, to hear her voice. No, he was going to see Rin married to Kohaku. Really.

He watched the four women, ranging from the recently matured Rin to the aged Kaede, approach the area where the men and priest were waiting. He wanted to growl as he saw Inuyasha's eyes glued to Kagome's form. Not only was he disconcerted with the fact that he found himself warning Inuyasha for something he had no right to and _did not want_, but when his eyes strayed to the woman in question, he couldn't help the sudden intake of breath.

She was lovely, even more gorgeous than the bride. She was wearing her modern clothing – as was Inuyasha, he noted curiously – but it was different from anything he had ever seen.

When she was walking towards the arch and stage that Kohaku stood under, awaiting their arrival, her form had been covered completely by a thick cloth that trailed from her slender neck – exposed, since her hair was piled high on her head in disarray that matched her expression – almost to her ankles. He had noticed the odd shoes that not only added inches to her height but seemed unstable, the pointed end constantly sinking into the soil as she walked. But the tan garment seemed to engulf her, giving her a squarish, bulky look.

But now, as she had turned and was – although her focus was on her friends – facing him, he saw what was underneath.

The outer cloth, he could see now, had been to protect her from the cold December air. Under it, she wore a black piece of clothing that shimmered in the sun, like an eclipse. It clung to her too-thin body, but she looked beautiful anyways. She was covered modestly, the clothing coming to her feet, but the way the fabric held onto her shape… his hands twitched with the desire to explore those curves.

Gritting his teeth, Sesshoumaru decided he had had enough. It was silly, this indecision and sudden pining after a mortal. He was practically a god, and gods didn't take humans as mates.

_You're forgetting about me_, he heard his father say, humor embedded in his tone.

He was still imagining his father's taunting berating? Along with the immoral longing for the woman, he contemplated something being very wrong with himself. Perhaps his mind needed a rest. Perhaps he needed… Well, he wasn't sure what. He took to wandering, but that hadn't worked. And sleeping only made it more difficult, as he would often wake with a painfully hard erection, a product of his realistic dreams. Jaken was of no help. He would have thought the suddenly-often silent imp would have been a comfort, reminding him of why he was who he was; a killer, and a force to be reckoned with. But the little youkai had become sullen and reclusive. Odd, since now it was as it used to be, before the humans had tainted their lives.

And yet…

Now, as he watched her stand diligently next to Rin, he noticed her expression. Although he had heard his brother propose to her, he hadn't stuck around to hear the answer – he was still criticizing himself for that, still wondering why he had acted so rashly and childishly – but the expressions from the two were so contrasting he had to give it more than just a fleeting thought.

He already knew how the hanyou felt; even from here he could see his brother was worshipping the ground she walked on. Sesshoumaru had to turn away in disgust. Returning his gaze to Kagome's slight form – she was easier on the eyes anyways – he noticed that she paid the hanyou no attention. Did that mean she had turned him down? He sneered at himself for hoping. But by Inuyasha's expression, that couldn't be true. Perhaps she only was intent on the wedding? That was possible, but she seemed so… hunted.

It was the only thing that could describe her expression. She looked like any minute, she would bolt. As if something were tracking her, and she would need to be prepared for flight.

_Ridiculous, nothing will harm her_.

His eyes widened as he realized that he was pledging his protection, although no one was around to hear it. Thankfully. Growling at himself once again, he tore his eyes from her face to keep himself from lingering on those thoughts.

He took the time to look at Rin, and realized that she made quite the bride. He hadn't noticed how much she had grown up, and now, she was marrying a former taijiya. She looked strange, between the huge headdress and layers of kimono. He was glad she had worn the kimono he had provided for her; it wasn't as if he had anyone else to pass it to, and he wasn't using it on a bride of his own.

Unbidden, his eyes flashed to Kagome's face.

But he wrenched them away again. With an exasperated sigh, he closed his eyes until the ceremony began. He listened intently, watching Rin's expressions. Occasionally, his gaze would wander to Kagome, who smiled weakly, as if it pained her to do so, but would not dare interrupt Rin's day. Other times, he would see Inuyasha's wistful and goofy expression as he watched Kagome. He hated how he wanted to claw out his brother's eyes so that he could no longer leer, but he was tired of fighting. Obviously, he held some sort of affection for the miko.

_That was fine_, he decided. As long as he didn't act on it.


	13. XIII

A/N: Lucky number thirteen, eh? Haha, we'll see. Personally, my lucky number is 9, so I hope that's some sort of indication. I'm going to have a warning where any InuKag lemony bits are, so PAY ATTENTION! Some of you – like me – are die-hard SessKag fans and would rather not read the InuKag interactions. Therefore, I've made it so you can skip over those parts and still not lose any part of the story. A warning in advance that next chapter will start with a lemon. And Happy New Year, everyone!

A HUGE thank you to all my lovely MediaMiner friends! You've embraced this story the way it was meant to be, and I love you guys for it. DivaG, Michael99, buzzk97, WiccanMethuselah, mariposa_miko, handypup, Snowfall, Quimera-chan, and youkailover1… You guys float my boat! XD And another special thanks to over at – thank you for taking the time to message me personally! You made me blush, with all your lovely comments! ^^

**OOPS!!** I'm sorry, but I made a mistake in the last chapter I'd like to correct. I don't know what I was thinking at the time, but I hadn't meant to say that Souta was off to college the next year (he's not old enough!). What I had meant was that he received a sports scholarship for a high school not in Tokyo. I had meant to say he was going away to High School, not University, so I'm sorry for that (he's graduating from Middle School). But instead of correcting it in the chapter, I'd rather tell you here. So sorry! Stupid brain!

Kagome's song for the chapter.

"_So I walk up on high  
And I step to the edge  
To see my world below.  
And I laugh at myself  
As the tears roll down.  
'Cause it's the world I know.  
It's the world I know."_ – The World I Know, Collective Soul

That's the Way Love Goes

Chapter XIII

The months had gone by so quickly. She had to admit, despite her growing apprehension to her wedding, it was making time fly. There had been no progress with Inuyasha, as far as their love life. He was adamant about keeping this from her, although she didn't know if he knew she wasn't a virgin. Obviously, he was, otherwise he probably wouldn't be making a big deal out of it. She smirked, wondering what it would be like to take away the only innocence the hanyou had left. He was passionate in so many ways, and she was sure he would be the same in bed.

Her body and mind no longer as pure as they once were – especially her heart, which wasn't even whole any longer – she had no qualms envisioning it. It made her blood heat and her pulse quicken to imagine it. But just as quickly, her imagination turned on her; the golden eyes she saw in her mind were rimmed in fuchsia lids, and there were stripes on the face in the same color.

Gasping for breath, she buried herself under her pillow, grateful that Inuyasha was taking a shower. It was only a week until her own wedding, and she was amazed that with his almost complete life here, he had learned quickly, taken to modern things as soon as he could be taught. His favorites were the shower, bed, and video games, to Souta's delight. He was also less anxious here during the night he turned completely human. There weren't many youkai around, and it had been some time since either of them had felt any. This was probably because they preferred the cleaner air of the country rather than the crowded city, but there had been times that they had felt youki, although it always belonged to a low-level demon. After all, if there were anything close to Taiyoukai left, they would certainly despise humans enough to live away from them.

She knew he didn't particularly enjoy the clothing. She had actually bought him kimono, yukata, and hakama to wear when he pleased, which he did often. The constricting modern clothes made him feel claustrophobic in such an already crowded city, although the shrine was a haven he could escape to. She had giggled when he told her of the other reason he hated modern clothing. Apparently, he could hear other girls and young women whispering to each other about him. In his jeans and tight-fitting tee-shirts, Inuyasha was quite the creature to behold. But he didn't appreciate being fawned over, and he had told this to Kagome. She had never noticed, but now she laughed when they were out and a gaggle of schoolgirls would talk about how sculpted he was, or how exotic his eyes were. To him, it was a nuisance.

Kagome was aware that he was also irritated that she didn't convey her own gushing onto him. She knew he wanted her to compliment him, but she couldn't find it in herself to do so. Oh, Inuyasha was beautiful in his own right, with his fuzzy ears and strong arms. But he reminded her so strongly of an even more beautiful creature that she couldn't form a coherent thought. The only time she was relived – and a little more appreciative to his form – was when he was human. His last time had been about two weeks ago, and she had nearly made him go back on his personal vow to wait until they were married to consummate their relationship.

Forgetting why she had been upset in the first place, Kagome removed the pillow from over her head and decided to go downstairs for breakfast. It was there that her mother told her the news that shattered Kagome's world completely:

They were moving out.

Oh, not all of them. Apparently, her mother had thought her behavior so improved, and seeing that she had finally moved on, that she was taking her grandfather and little brother and moving to the country. Not until after the wedding, of course. A few weeks after, to be exact. Souta would graduate, leaving them anyways to go to college. And jii-chan was getting old, needing the fresher air. Apparently – to Kagome's complete ignorance – the family owned a home in Shimane, and had been rotting away with disuse. Kagome couldn't help but feel a little left out as her mother told her how her father had planned to retire there with her when Kagome was married and settled as priestess.

She was completely blown away. Her father had known she would be priestess? And not only that, but had counted on it! What if she had decided to pursue psychology, like she had originally planned? She voiced her concern out loud, but her mother shook her head.

"In the event that you had decided to go in another direction… well, we would have given the other home to you. We weren't going to hold it against you, dear."

The utter sincerity in her mother's voice got to her, and she felt the sting of tears in her nose.

"Hey, what's wrong?" she heard Inuyasha say gently from the stairs.

Damn irritating demon senses. "Nothing, Inuyasha. It's just that… they're leaving."

His eyes widened before his brow scrunched together in a 'v' shape.

With a sigh, Kagome told him what her mother had just explained. In truth, he was beyond ecstatic to have a home to call his own with the woman he loved, but he also knew that it was going to hurt Kagome tremendously to lose her family. And they would be a few hours away, not just minutes. She relied on them daily, especially her mother. He was going to have a hard time keeping her happy without them, and that was reason enough not to smile at the proclamation.

Later that day, Kagome was still reeling from her mother's news when Inuyasha said something that brought her up short. It was odd, because he never initiated; he usually tagged along with her if she needed to go somewhere.

"Let's go out, Kagome," he said, putting a hand on her back as he sat next to her on the bed.

She turned to look at him, a dazed look in her eyes. "Wha…?"

"Let's do something special. Go somewhere you like to go."

"Somewhere… I like… to go…?" She said it as if she no longer knew what she liked or what she wanted.

Inuyasha frowned, not knowing how to deal with this. At least before, when she was crying and depressed, he knew what to do. But now, it was like she was in shock, and he had no idea how to handle it. He knew it was because her family was leaving, but how could he tell them to stay? She needed them so much, but wasn't it selfish to make them cancel their plans? No, he would find a way to make Kagome happy himself.

She was still staring at him with unseeing eyes, so he shook her a little. She finally looked at him.

"C'mon," was all the warning he gave before scooping her up and jumping out the window.

Once outside, he easily carried her to Goshinboku and jumped up, placing them within the boughs of the great tree. Once she was secure on a thick branch, he grinned devilishly. "Don't move," he instructed. Here wide eyes said enough as she nodded frantically. He disappeared for a few moments, only to return with a thin blanket. It was then that Kagome realized she was shivering from the cool spring air. He placed it around her, and she smiled at him, thankful. He grinned in return. Once she was safely wrapped and warm, he lifted her like a Persian rug over his shoulder, and she 'eep'ed as he lifted them higher into the Sacred Tree's branches. When they were near the top, he pulled her down, and she finally opened her eyes.

There, at the top of the tree that held so many memories for her, she added another period of time that she would fold away to open later, when she needed it. Goshinboku swayed with the gentle wind and parted its' branches, allowing Kagome to see the stars so clearly she thought she could pick them out of the sky. She smiled then, a genuine smile, not the one she often used to keep everyone's worry over her at bay. He held her close, and they watched the night slowly turn into a deeper black.

She fell asleep quicker than he would have thought, so he carried her back to her room, careful not to jostle her. When she was safely in her bed again, he laid next to her, wrapped his arms around her, and let sleep claim him.

~~~~~%~~

The next day, it seemed she had gotten over her shock. She still put on the same fake smile, letting her mom think everything was fine. But the hanyou knew the truth. She didn't want them to go, but would never make them stay. Was it because she was the most selfless person in the world? Or because she thought she could handle her new life with Inuyasha, just the two of them? He snorted, assuming the first.

But she had seemed a little distant today, and he wondered why. He was almost positive she had had a good time last night – was she nervous about the wedding? She shouldn't be. Everything was going smoothly. Gramps was in his room, practicing his lines – Inuyasha could hear him from their room, chanting away. Mama was going shopping later, to buy the items she would need for the reception's dinner. And Kagome was supposed to pick up her dress today – they had called last night to tell her the final adjustments had been made.

She would bring Eri with her, the only friend that hadn't looked scandalized when she said she was getting married. Yuka and Ayumi had sniggered, probably thinking lewd thoughts. They were invited, of course, although Kagome had instructed them all not to tell Hojo – even f the boy was honorable, Inuyasha was not, and might start something. None of them had to know it wouldn't be a legal wedding.

So Kagome puttered around the house, looking just like a soon-to-be-bride would, although inside, she felt awful. She knew that deep down inside, she was only doing this for Inuyasha. She didn't want to be married. It consoled her that it wasn't real – they weren't going to be legally wed, but that didn't mean much, since to Inuyasha, it would still be very real. She refused to think of why she didn't want to be married. She hadn't thought of him since Rin's wedding, and she didn't want to spiral into depression on a day that would mean so much to her hanyou. Anyways, what did she expect? Sesshoumaru didn't exist in this time period – she refused to think of him as dead, but perhaps he was on holiday in Cambodia? – and even if he did, it wasn't like he would swoop in at the last minute to save her from the biggest emotional mistake of her life. Right?

She snorted at her own ridiculousness. Right. Sesshoumaru, after centuries of… well, whatever he had been doing, would suddenly appear – on a white horse and all, no less – and sweep her up into his arms and tell her he had been waiting for this chance to take her away. It was to laugh! And laugh she did, when she suddenly envisioned the horse to be Entei, the powerful demon horse. Oh boy, she was losing it. _Get it together!_ she scolded herself as she slapped her face lightly. She was surprised to find her cheek wet when she pulled her hand from her face.

After lunch, Kagome went upstairs to get dressed to leave the shrine. She had been wearing her miko outfit, since she had taken over completely, with her grandfather obsessively reciting his prayers for the wedding. She slipped into a skirt and blouse, putting the tan coat on she had bought for Rin's wedding. She smiled, remembering how beautiful the young woman had looked and how she had beamed at Kohaku, with him returning the gesture. She hadn't seen them in almost a week and decided she should probably see them one more time before the wedding day.

Lately, she had traded her practical loafers for heels, and found she liked them, especially since she wasn't traipsing around the Feudal Era looking for evil hanyou. Her legs looked great, and they made her taller; she was taller than Inuyasha sometimes. On her way out the door, she slipped into the simple black pumps and felt good for the first time in days as she walked down the shrine steps.

Inuyasha had gone with Kagome's mother, helping to carry the sacks of rice and bags of groceries needed. It seemed like too much food to him for the small gathering, but he supposed she knew what she was doing. He wondered what Kagome was doing, and if she had picked up the dress yet. Knowing her, she was dawdling; window shopping and giggling with her friends.

It hadn't taken long. The dress fit beautifully, and no further adjustments had to be made. Eri squealed – the dress was so Western – and praised Kagome for her choice of attire. Kagome smiled and laughed, but she didn't find any real joy in the day. The elderly seamstress patted her hand, chalking her mood up to pre-wedding jitters; that was the most annoying part. She wasn't nervous at all. But how would she explain that she was only getting married to make her best friend happy? If Inuyasha found out that she didn't truly love him as he did her… His heart would surely be broken beyond repair, perhaps worse than her own. So if she could do what it took to make him happy, after getting her past the most painful ordeal in her life, she would do it.

She chatted happily with Eri, who was dating a boy named Akiyama, and it kept her mind off things. This was what her modern friends were good for. Her Feudal friends – more like family – knew too much about her problems and the cause of them to actually help. And they were all getting on with their lives: Rin and Kohaku were married, Sango and Miroku were having children, and Shippou… well, he was still growing, but Kaede had told her that Shippou had recently shown interest in a human girl in the village.

It pained her to hear that her fox kit was growing up and she couldn't bear to be around to witness it. Oh, she would visit, yes. But she had traded her long visits with long intervals for short visits that were sooner. And every time, fear and apprehension still gripped her with a cold, iron hand.

At the shrine steps, Eri waved to her and Kagome returned it. She hadn't gotten but ten steps up when Inuyasha appeared, a huge grin on his face.

"You're back," he said breathlessly.

Kagome laughed. "So are you, apparently. You know," she scolded, "you really shouldn't do that. What if someone saw?"

As usual, he scoffed. "Keh, they wouldn't get too far," he said in a familiar tone, brandishing his claws.

It was too much. It was all so familiar to her early days. She could only sigh, which told Inuyasha something was wrong. Usually she put up a hell of a fight about this kind of stuff, although he hadn't jeopardized his heritage in some time. Despite her protests, he grabbed the garment bag from her, swung an arm around her waist, and bounded up the stairs.

She rolled her eyes at him when they landed. He grinned. "I'm gonna go put this away," she told him, then started for the house. He followed.

Kagome grit her teeth. Sometimes, it was really annoying how he followed her around, ready to pick up the pieces should she suddenly decide to shatter. She may be depressed, but she didn't need him watching over her every second. But ultimately, it would hurt his feelings, and they hadn't fought in such a long time…

Deciding it was easier to just forget it, she slid the door aside to access the inner part of the house. Once her dress was safely within her closet, she found the hanyou on her bed, his head propped up on his bent arm. He patted the spot next to him.

"C'mere," he said, his voice smooth.

Despite her previous annoyance with him, her heart began to pound. He grinned, hearing it. She had the decency to blush. Regardless, she sat next to him. But that wasn't enough. He rolled his eyes in annoyance before he pulled her down so that she was flat on her back. He stayed in his sideways position. He trailed his fingers down her arm, attempting to soothe her. She closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation. When he was satisfied that she was calm, he rolled over to kiss her. She responded healthily, kissing him back.

&&&& MINOR INU/KAG CITRUS &&&&

When he was sure her undivided attention was on him, he began touching her. First her face, caressing her cheek. Then her neck, along the fine muscles there. He smoothed her shoulder and arm, running up and down the length of it. She seemed eager, one of her hands on his face and the other fisted in his kimono. She moaned a little into his mouth, and it set him on fire. Brazen now, he let his trailing hand move down the valley between her breasts, and she made a little noise that told him she was eager for his touch. Of course, she was always ready for him. It was he that didn't want to complete the act, and he wouldn't give in now. But… if he could give her one thing…

With resolve, he inexpertly grasped a breast, and she gasped, pulling away from his lips as she arched her back. He couldn't believe it brought such a strong reaction from her. He recaptured her lips, angrier now, bold with his new knowledge. Letting instinct take over, his thumb grazed her nipple and she whimpered, as if helpless under his touch. He leaned further into her, his erection pressing into her thigh hungrily. She groaned, and it pushed him further. He plucked at her nipple, making her slither around on her bed, needing completion. But it wouldn't be today. Smiling against her lips, Inuyasha forced himself to let go and pull away. Man, he was going to need a cold shower after this one.

&&&&&&&&&

They were both gasping for breath but Inuyasha spoke anyways. "Feel better?"

She could hear the smile in his voice. She leaned up on her elbow to smirk at him, an eyebrow raised in question. "No. If anything, I feel worse," she told him.

He could tell from her expression that she was teasing, and he swelled with male pride. Now he wouldn't feel as inadequate next to her on their wedding night.

He grinned as he stood, the evidence of their makeout session obvious even through the thick hakama and kimono. She giggled, hoping it was worse for him than for her. Served him right. After all, she actually knew what she was missing; he, a virgin, didn't.

"I'm gonna go, er… take a shower."

Kagome laughed heartily. "You do that," she replied.

When he was gone, she sank back on her bed, feeling a little lighter than usual.

~~~~~%~~

The night before the wedding, Kagome had decided that she was going to have a talk with Inuyasha. He deserved to know the truth, and to be honest, she hadn't told anyone the truth. Well, except Rin. Of course, she wasn't going to go that far with the hanyou. She didn't want to crush his soul. But he needed to know what happened before she married him. It wasn't going to be easy, but it was necessary.

A small part of her hoped that he would be too upset to marry her.

The family had dinner together, and they managed to avoid speaking of the wedding. In truth, she was getting tired of it, and couldn't wait for tomorrow to be over. Even when she had visited her friends on the other side of the well a few days ago, they had pummeled her with questions. Sango, who was taking care of the wedding in that era, was the most annoying. Rin had saved her several times by asking about her friends on her own time and at one point asked about her family, which gave Kagome the opportunity to talk about her families' impending move. Sango, knowing how much her friend's family meant to her, held her close. Rin, knowing how much more this would break her, could only listen. Just how much more pain would she have to endure before she was happy?

It had kept them from asking further questions, however, and Kagome had gone home shortly after, part of her 'visit-more-often-but-for-shorter-periods' plan. Every night, however, Inuyasha had gone back to the Sengoku Jidai to finalize some touches on the wedding. He wouldn't allow Kagome to sleep alone, so he went early and came back soon after. And Kagome was grateful that she could have some time alone to think, but was also glad to have him back when she was sleepy, since his very presence chased away the haunting dreams that made her scream in her sleep.

Now, before he would go to the Feudal Era, she needed to speak with him. He lolled on the bed, lazy and happy after a big meal. She was silent, but that wasn't a surprise to him; these days, it took a little prodding just to get her to answer a question. It was as if she was constantly lost in her own mind. He chanced a look at her, and she seemed pensive. He assumed she was thinking about tomorrow's events and reached over to caress her arm. She looked up and smiled, but he got the feeling she needed to get something off her chest.

He looked at her questioningly, hoping that was enough to get her talking. He wasn't let down.

"I… need to tell you, before we get married…"

Uh-oh. He didn't like the sound of this. His ears flattened against his head in a show of anxiety.

"I'm so sorry, Inuyasha," she began, tears starting to fall as she spoke. "I feel like you need to know all this before tomorrow. I don't want to scare you away, but I don't want there to be any lies, or false pretenses. You told me once that I needed to talk to someone, but I wasn't ready. Now, I am." She panted, her breath coming in jagged strips as her sobbing and ranting ravaged her lungs.

He sat up now, realizing what she meant. She wasn't calling off the wedding, but after this… would he want to?

After several moments of catching up with her pained lungs, she continued, slowly. "I would be lying if I didn't say he was the love of my life," she said, the pain on his face all too clear. "But that's over now. It… _killed_ me when he made me leave. You know," she chuckled without humor, a dark, looming sound, "we had even talked about it before. Me and… him. I told him he was beginning to sound like himself more and more, and he asked if I didn't want his 'old self' to come back. I told him I didn't care, that I just didn't want him to forget me. God, I was stupid." She sighed, remembering how ominous that conversation had felt, as if her fate was laughing at her for guessing the future. Inuyasha looked at her, annoyed for thinking she was stupid. After all, it hadn't been her fault. It had been Sesshoumaru's. "I told him. I told him… that he might not want me anymore, after…" The tears came more freely now as she remembered the conversation, his voice replaying in her head over and over. The words she was about to speak. "And he told me that it was 'nonsense'. That it was impossible for him to forget me and even more impossible to stop loving me."

She buried her face in her hands, sobbing. Inuyasha wasn't sure how he should feel. Hurt? Betrayed? Angry? Sympathetic? He realized now why she had felt the need to get this off her chest – it seemed like this had been lodged inside her, dying to get out, but she had been afraid to tell him, for fear of hurting him. Not that it hurt any less now. And after knowing that Sesshoumaru had reacted so strongly to his proposal to her, he wondered if his brother had told the truth when he had had that conversation with Kagome. If he hadn't cared, he wouldn't have gave two shits about them getting married. Was it possible that he still cared for Kagome? Maybe even still loved her? Grateful as he was for this new life with the woman he loved, he wondered why his brother didn't act. Why was he holding back? His actions didn't make sense. It was if his conscience had been split in two, and couldn't make up his mind whether he hated or loved the girl. Keh. Well, he knew his choice. He was marrying his choice tomorrow, no matter what.

It didn't take long for Kagome to get a hold on herself; she had a lot of practice doing it. She finally looked up to see Inuyasha's reaction, expecting him to be red in the face with anger. Instead, she saw a resolve and love in his eyes that almost made her start crying all over again. He suddenly grabbed her up into a fierce hug.

"I won't push you away, Kagome. I could never forget you. I'll always want you. And I'll always – _always_ – love you. I promise."

It was enough to throw her into hysterics again. She wanted to tell him not to make her any promises, she wasn't worth it, to not pledge anything, but how could she when she was making the ultimate sacrifice tomorrow? She knew better. This was Inuyasha, who had sacrificed himself so many times for her safety. How many times had he risked death – been so close to it – so that she could be safe? Even in his human form, he repeatedly put her life before his own. And now, she would do the same. To make him happy, she would put his needs before hers. So she dried her tears and kissed him.

He left soon after, promising to be back soon. He just wanted to overlook the finalities of their Feudal wedding. She was glad again for the time to herself, and went to the bathroom to fill the tub with scalding water to burn away her impurities. She wished she would melt, because surely, she didn't deserve Inuyasha. Clearly, the gods didn't think she was fit to love a demon, but a half-demon was fine. Was it because she had done something wrong? Had she angered the gods?

Well, they could throw whatever they wanted her way. She wasn't going to give them the satisfaction of winning. If they had set out to break her, then they had accomplished that. But she would pull herself together, and – gods be damned – she would live her life the way she needed to.

~~~~~%~~

He decided to let her sleep in, schedule be damned. What were they going to do, send someone after them? Keh, that was the good thing about the well – only he and Kagome could go through. So they would have to wait. And if it set back both weddings… well, who cares? They couldn't start the party without them, now could they?

She needed the extra rest, especially today. It had been late when he had come back last night, and she had still been awake, waiting for him. But as soon as he had his arms around her, she was asleep. It was strange to him. Kagome was always so strong, always the one you went to when something was wrong. And now she was the one who needed protection, mostly from herself. Even when she faced Naraku or any of his minions, she had been brave and steadfast. But now… There were days where he worried she would walk into traffic on purpose. Or perhaps 'accidentally' trip down the shine steps – from the top. Maybe even decide that she needed to see one of the huge buildings in Tokyo… from the top. He didn't mind looking after her, but it also made him nervous to leave her.

There was a part of him – deep down – that knew she still loved Sesshoumaru. There were nights where he heard her curse his brother with all she was worth and swore she hated him, and sometimes, he would believe her. But if she were only angry, she wouldn't be so… broken. Instead, it seemed like she was being angry in order to placate him, and that made Inuyasha upset. Would they ever get past the Colossus that was her relationship with Sesshoumaru?

Well, he would make sure of that tonight. He had plans, and he would make sure she could only think of him. There was no way that she was going to see Sesshoumaru when she looked at him anymore. He had thought the clothes would be enough. Not only did they allow him to follow her around town, but he that with modern clothes on, he would look even less like his brother. It helped… a little. But the times that she made the connection were always when they were too close to notice things like clothes. It was the eyes, the hair, the claws, the fangs. What could he do? There was only one thing, and he swore to himself that if it would make her happier, he would do it.

But first, he would let her sleep.

~~~~~%~~

He had come to check on Rin when he noticed the commotion. Curious, he found a great many villagers actively going into Inuyasha's forest. He could smell Rin and her new husband there, along with the miko's other friends. Sticking to the branches of trees, Sesshoumaru watched as they gathered around the altar where he had seen his little girl become a wife only a few moons ago. Although now, the arch looked different. More elegant. It was draped with ribbons and silk, and there were vines of crimson flowers entwined in the arch. What was going on? Was someone else getting married? And how dare they have a lovelier wedding than his Rin?

Creeping closer, he heard the taijiya giving orders, a baby boy in her arms. "Yes, that's fine over there. No, Hiro, that needs to go in front of the altar. Atsushi, you need to leave that on the stage. Well, of course!"

He had always known she was the strongest-willed human woman he had seen – apart from the miko – but today she was a downright tyrant! He would have chuckled, except that he had the oddest feeling of impending doom. The hairs on the back of his neck rose in anticipation, and this was something he didn't experience often. There were no youkai around; what could possibly cause him to feel this way?

He finally saw Rin, looking taller than he had seen her last, and she was also helping with the wedding. She had obviously come from the old miko's hut, carrying a stew. Her husband, Kohaku, followed dutifully with an enormous basket of bread. He was ordered to guard the food – obviously, he was already dressed for the upcoming nuptials – as Rin left to ready herself. The monk appeared then to take the place of his wife, and she left as well.

It wasn't long before the two returned. They were joined by the older miko, and then the monk abruptly left. The women were finishing some last touches when he returned, wearing ceremonial robes. _So the monk is performing the rituals?_ He thought it strange, knowing the monk could not lawfully join anyone after being married and having children. Everyone then took their places but remained casual, still laughing and speaking to one another. It was more casual than was the norm, as well as the odd placing of the monk as priest and the lack of villagers. For Rin's wedding, the whole town had shown, if he remembered correctly. But now, it seemed only about two-thirds attended.

His curiosity and panic rose with each minute, driving him insane with doubt. Should he stay? Should he leave? He wanted to know who was getting married in such an odd fashion but he also had the oddest sensation that he knew exactly whose wedding it was…

And then, at the same time that his brain unlocked the secret, he felt the magic of the well, and felt her. If it hadn't been so unbecoming of one of his stature, Sesshoumaru would have fainted. It was too much. All the friends, the casual atmosphere, the monk performing, the lack of villagers – surely, not all of them supported the marriage between a hanyou and human.

And then she walked through the trees, a vision of black and white. Her lustrous, raven hair fell in waves around her bare shoulders and her dress was white, contrasting sharply. He was surprised he could hear the gasps from the attendees – were they scandalized, or did they find her as enchanting as he did? – over the roar of his blood in his ears. She wore the toned-down version of the traditional makeup, as had Rin, but it was her clothing that astounded the others. The cloth, a shimmering white, left the entire top of her shoulders bare, only covering her breasts and then traveling down the curves of her body, clinging to her waist and hips, then flaring out. It was downright indecent! It was disgraceful! Shameful!

And Sesshoumaru thought she had never looked so beautiful. It was unbearable, and he left as silently as he had approached.

~~~~~%~~

The ceremony, to Kagome, went on for forever. She wanted it all to be done with. As it were, she was an hour and a half behind schedule because Inuyasha had let her sleep in. She was grateful – how would it look to yawn in front of all these people? – but then she would have to rush once it was over. Inuyasha had told her that everyone would wait for them, but she was tired of making others wait for her. She had done that for years, hadn't she? So she would do her best today to make everyone else happy. After all she wasn't getting married for her own benefit.

She had to admit, Inuyasha looked dapper. She had foregone the formality of a tuxedo, picking a plain black suit instead. But it was all black – from the pants to the tie. Even the cufflinks were a shiny onyx. They were complete opposites – she in white with her loose ebony hair, and he in black with his wild fair hair. He had accepted it with grace – knowing she was going to be in modern clothes, he had wanted the same, and so they had wound up like this. She had completely forgot how shamed the villagers would be by her bare top; if she had thought it out more, she would have brought a shawl.

And now, Inuyasha couldn't take his eyes off her. He hadn't ever since she had emerged from the bathroom wearing that… thing. How did it even stay up? Not that he cared if it fell. At this point, he was willing to forego the second wedding and begin their new life now. But it was important to her, and he would give her that.

He didn't remember actually saying anything, but he had said what was necessary when he was told, and soon, it was over. The crowd had applauded, and he swung Kagome around happily before kissing her in a way that made most avert their eyes and cover the gaze of their little ones. Soon, they began eating and talking, and a few of the villagers had brought instruments to play, which made for a merry time. The air was perfect; it was spring, and the mixture of new life along with a joyous celebration actually lifted Kagome's spirits. It wasn't that she was happy, per say. More like she was happy to see everyone so happy.

Before long, some of the villages began to leave, needing to tend to their chores or families. Little by little, they left until it was only Kagome and her circle of closest friends. Miroku was the first to hug them both, and Kagome was surprised to see Inuyasha become emotional. He held the monk longer than was normal, but no one thought it odd; the two were like brothers after being through so much together. Inuyasha held no other male in such high regard, and placed trust in him like he did no other. Kagome hugged him and thanked him for a beautiful ceremony, to which he told her he was proud to be able to. Sango was next, telling Kagome to enjoy her married life and that she would miss her.

"Why? I'm not going anywhere," Kagome had said, a puzzled look on her face.

A tear slid down as Sango nodded. "I only meant that you'll be visiting less now."

"Oh, Sango. Wild horse youkai couldn't keep me from you and my little nephew!"

Sango held her emotions in check. She was strong that way. "Hai, Kagome-chan."

Shippou was next, and Kagome groaned when she noticed that he was even taller than before. He was up to her chest now. "Kagome," was all he could manage. Everyone had told him to be strong, and he couldn't squeeze out another word.

She bent slightly to hold him, and they stayed that way for a while. "I love you, Shippou. If… if I ever had a son, I'd want him to be just like you."

A tear escaped her as she whispered in his pointed ear, although Inuyasha had been the only one to hear. She sounded so sad, and he wondered what her true intent was.

When she straightened, Kohaku approached her. "Thank you, Kagome-sama, for helping me have a life."

Kagome scoffed. "It was Kikyou that gave you life, not me," she said. It was then that she realized that she and Kohaku had never spoken of it.

Kohaku smiled. "Not really," he said, looking at his wife.

Kagome grinned when she understood. "Well then, you're welcome."

And then Rin, head bowed, was in front of her. The younger woman flew at Kagome, tears streaming, holding her so closely Kagome had trouble breathing. "Please," she whispered in the miko's ear.

And Kagome wanted to cry. That one word… She could hear everything meant behind it, everything that Rin wanted to say, everything that couldn't be said with so many others around, especially those with excellent hearing.

_Please. Please, don't so this. Please, you're not ready. Please, give it time._

_Please, Kagome. We can be a happy family again someday._

And so Kagome began to cry, ruining her makeup. Rin sobbed just as hard, the two ensconced in a grief that only they knew of. Everyone except Kohaku looked stunned – what was going on? Did Kagome know? Had she been playing ignorant? Why did they still have to keep up the charade?

Inuyasha looked just as confused, so they all held their tongues. He only heard Kagome utter two words, and they could mean anything, and it would puzzle him for the entire time that he and Kagome were together. "I… can't…," she whispered, obviously meant only for Rin's ears.

When they finally parted, Rin wiping her face on her kimono sleeve and Sango offering Kagome a piece of cloth as she smeared her wedding makeup into a swirl of color, the small group turned to leave. It was then that Kaede approached her. Inuyasha uncharacteristically told her he would wait at the well and left.

They stared at each other for a moment, and Kagome wondered why, with everyone's emotions so heavy after such a joyous occasion, this felt like 'goodbye' instead of 'see you later'. She couldn't shake the feeling, but what could they know that she didn't?

Kaede let out a long-suffering sigh. "Kagome, do not fret. Everything will be well, one day."

It was as if those words were what Kagome had been searching for all this time; they brought a lightness to her that she hadn't felt in some time. "For how long must I suffer, Kaede-sama?"

Kaede studied her with her one good eye. "For as long as is necessary."

"Why is it necessary for me? Why must I suffer?"

"Sometimes," Kaede added sagely, "it is not your life that is being strung by the fates. Sometimes, the actions of another are what determine your suffering."

Well, isn't that the god-damned truth. But what the hell did it mean?

Kagome seemed to want to ask her more, but Kaede had no more to tell. "Relax," she said soothingly. "One day, your destiny shall find you. You will learn to live to please yourself."

This brought Kagome up short. Had she not already fulfilled her destiny? Wasn't it over? Wasn't her life hers to live already? But the questions could not be voiced, because the old priestess had already turned away, plodding towards her home in the dimming light of the lowering sun. Shaking her head, Kagome walked gingerly towards the well, lifting the ends of the dress so they didn't get dirty.

~~~~~%~~

On the other side of the well, Inuyasha and Kagome relaxed in the living room – still in their wedding attire – as her mother busied herself putting the food outside and lighting torches and candles. Souta had gone upstairs to change under his mother's orders, and her grandfather was outside, waiting for them to come out. He was excited – he didn't often get asked to perform weddings (for obvious reasons).

The arrival of her three friends made the occasion complete, although they were made to stay outside. Soon, Souta bounded down the stairs, and he looked so grown up she was reminded of Shippou, and it made her cry all over again.

"You wanna ruin this face stuff, too?" Inuyasha asked, holding her closer. He was referring to the modern makeup she had applied after coming home and washing herself clean of the cake-y traditional stuff.

She laughed weakly and wiped her eyes, glad she had bought waterproof mascara. Souta had frozen at the bottom of the stairs, worried he had done something wrong. Inuyasha waved him off, and Souta happily left the house to wait outside. Finally, Kagome's mom untied her apron to reveal her dress. She had known there wouldn't be time later, and so she had simply cooked with it on. Now, she grabbed two plates and called to Inuyasha. He followed, taking a plate from her. A minute later, Eri came inside to escort Kagome outside.

"Ready?" she smiled.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Kagome sighed.

Foregoing everything normal and foreign, Kagome only walked outside in her dress, putting her heels on at the sliding wooden door. She walked outside to a more comfortable atmosphere, with the only members of attendance being Ayumi, Yuka, Eri, her brother, and her mother. Jii-chan didn't count, since he was the priest. And she had to admit, her mother had done a lovely job. Rin and Sango had, too. They had all completely taken over, with only the dress and Inuyasha's outfit being left to her. Of course, that meant it gave her that much more time to think, since she wasn't actively planning the wedding, but it had pleased her many wedding planners to do so, and she had always lived to please everyone else. It brought back memories of Kaede's words to her just a few hours ago. Was that what the old woman had meant? Would she have to learn to stop pleasing everyone but herself? Impossible. She had lived this way for a long time. Really, the only times she had been selfish were when she had been so possessive about Inuyasha, so long ago. And then again, with…

But no, she wouldn't think of him now. Not with her second wedding of the day.

A tiny part of her mind wondered what Sesshoumaru would think if he knew she was marrying his brother. _He wouldn't care, that's what_.

And before she knew it, her grandfather was performing the ceremony that was similar to one she had attended several hours ago, except instead of in the breezy, spring day, it was during the star-filled spring night. Oh, and almost five hundred years in the future.

She was amazed that her grandfather had managed to be respectful, despite his obvious disapproval with the fact that Inuyasha was half demon. Apparently, he didn't want his lineage tainted with youkai blood, even if it was only by one-quarter. But now, he seemed to have some to terms with it, and it was a lovely ceremony. She was so lucky to have two great priests in her life that were able to do this for her. And so many loving friends and family. And a man that truly loved her. She smiled at Inuyasha as the rituals came to a close, and he grinned happily, opting for a gentle embrace and soft kiss this time. Perhaps he had gotten it out of his system during the first wedding? Unlikely. His excitement was evident when he pressed closer into her before they parted. She rolled her eyes as she smirked at him.

"Down, boy," she said softly so no one else would hear.

He grinned so that a fang showed, and she giggled, knowing they wouldn't be able to show any passion for one another for sometime, since the house would be full.

Then they ate, a stereo playing music softly as they al dined al fresco under the Sacred Tree. The candles were beautiful, and she saw now that her mother – or perhaps her brother – had placed little twinkling lights everywhere. They were wrapped around the arch the ceremony had taken place under, and they were lining the tables that held the food. How had she not tripped over a cord? Really, she was so scatterbrained these days. Kagome enjoyed her second grand meal for the day and was glad she had skipped breakfast. Where would she fit all this food? They all talked, her mother catching up with Eri, since her mother was Kagome's mothers' good friend. Jii-chan instructed Inuyasha on the proper technique for handling a sword – Kagome wanted to die laughing, hearing this – and Souta spoke with Ayumi and Yuka. To Kagome's chagrin, they both were eyeing her brother like he was a steak. It was disturbing. She interjected, trying to keep their attention.

A few hours after it had begun, everyone rose, almost simultaneously. They still chatted, but they all helped bring in dishes, decorations, and other items. Kagome tried to help, but they swatted her away. In no time, it was cleaned, except for the arch, which still twinkled next to Goshinboku, where it would for years.

Yuka and Ayumi were the first to leave. Eri hung around, and Kagome soon found out why. To her utter horror – and embarrassment – Kagome's family, for the night, was staying with Eri's family. It was obvious why. Her face as red as a cherry – she was no virgin, but her family didn't need to know that. And they certainly didn't need to encourage her to have sex! – Kagome said goodbye as quickly as possible, sinking to the floor after everyone was gone, her hands hiding her face in mortification.

Inuyasha chuckled. "What, you chicken all of a sudden?"

She glared at him darkly. "I have no problems with sex, Inuyasha," she ground out, "but I don't need my family to know when I'm doing it, let alone expecting it." She shuddered for effect.

"Well, I don't care what they think," he said in a husky voice, taking her hand to help her up, "but I know what I want."

She looked up to find his eyes darkened to an ocher color, and although they smoldered, Kagome felt uneasy. They were just so… familiar. Well, of _course_ they were familiar. She had only looked into these eyes for the past four years. But, it was something else. She shook her head, trying to escape the tendrils of remembrance.

He could see the indecision there, and it was only once she had really looked into his eyes. God, but this was killing him. To be finally married to the one he loved, only to find that she was thinking of his brother? But he couldn't blame her. This was his fault. Sesshoumaru had been right: if he hadn't hesitated, they would have been married – possibly with children – by now and she would not have these memories of his older brother. And so it was his problem to fix.

He continued to pull on her arm gently, assisting her in rising off the floor. She kicked off her heels, which clacked against the wooden sliding door. He carried her up the stairs and into her room – he wondered if they would move rooms when her family was gone – and gently placed her on the bed. She didn't seem eager to sit, so she stood, making him back away. Turning and reaching behind her, she unzipped her dress, letting it slip to the floor in a heap of shimmering white. She stood in a white corset and lacy white boyshorts that contrasted with her tanned skin, and Inuyasha could only stare. She was so… so bold! He suppressed a growl, remembering that this wouldn't be her first time undressing.

&&&&& MINOR INUKAG CITRUS AHEAD! WARNING! &&&&&

She didn't get a chance to turn back around before Inuyasha was behind her, his hands wrapped around her. He couldn't believe how amazing it felt to touch her bare skin. It was electrifying. He refrained from exploring for the moment, letting his lips touch the back of her shoulder and neck. In a lightning-quick move, he spun her and took her lips possessively. She responded eagerly, and her hands fumbled for the buttons on his shirt, his jacket and tie being long since removed. When his chest was bare, she pressed her hands into him eagerly, and he groaned with pleasure. She ran her hands eagerly over his taught, muscular chest and shoulders, and he seemed to shiver under her touch.

She broke for air, and he buried his face in her hair, making her throw her head back in pleasure as he kissed and licked her neck. His strong arms encircled her, and as one moved up and down her back, the other played in her hair. She pulled his face up, forcing her lips to his, and he grunted in approval. She reached down and slipped out his belt, making him long for her even more. Kagome smiled against his lips as she read his eagerness when she undid the fastenings of his pants. She added the sensation of rubbing seductively against him as she did so. This time it was he who pulled away for air, and he had to stagger back away from her, lest he embarrass himself.

Kagome smiled seductively as she stepped up to him, her hips swaying with her movements. His head was lowered as he gasped for breath and tried to calm himself. But it wasn't effective, since the damned woman wouldn't give him his peace. In a matter of seconds, he could see her long, shapely legs, and then the place between her thighs that even now, beckoned to him. He swallowed thickly and growled.

&&&&& END OF CITRUSY BITS &&&&&

When she was close enough, she lifted his chin with a finger, but what she saw was enough to not only drain her face of blood, but any sexual feeling she had was no abruptly gone. He looked at her heatedly, but the crimson eyes with turquoise slits only reminded her of the one she really wanted, the one who should be in her arms now. She stumbled away from him, and it was enough to make his eyes turn back to their normal amber shade. Concern etched into his face, he reached for her.

"K… Kagome?" It was unmistakable. Her pale face, her suddenly anxious demeanor. He had felt his youki taking over and was unsure of what exactly she had seen, but whatever it had been, it had reminded her of Sesshoumaru, of that he was sure.

His expression could only be described as pained, not only for her, but what he was sure he had to do now. He knew it would hurt her, and he was certain that at times, she would hate him. But for her to go one, for them to be happy, he had to do it. It was all for her.

"Do you trust me?" he said softly, breaking her thoughts.

She had begun to cry – mostly pity and anger for herself – and she looked at him with watery eyes, confused. He was back to normal, and his more muscular shape and furry ears calmed her. She nodded, not trusting her voice. There was a resolve in his eyes, but there was something else. Pain. She misunderstood, thinking he was pained because of her hesitance. She assumed that he had figured out she was thinking of his brother. But even though that did hurt him, it was the knowledge of what he would have to do to her that made him feel like running away from her.

With a purposeful stride, he came to the desk where she kept the Sacred Jewel. She watched, puzzled, as he pulled it out and it dangled between his claws. She frowned, wondering where this was going. Again, he turned to her and asked her the question.

"Kagome, do you trust me?"

She cocked her head, and wondered what happened to Inuyasha. He was acting strangely, and the swirl of emotions and events of the day clouded her mind. She couldn't put it all together. "Yes," she said, her brow still wrinkled in confusion.

He walked to the window, and for a spilt second, Kagome thought he was going to jump out the window and run with the jewel. After all this time, had she misunderstood his intentions? Had he gotten over the fear of his father's blood? Did he still long to become a full demon? But she brushed it all aside, forcing herself to trust him as she said she did.

She watched as he turned his gaze to the sky. He looked peaceful, then. There was a hope to his expression that wasn't there before, and he looked like his thoughts had turned somewhere else, like he was… wishing… upon a star…

_I want Kagome to be happy. Please, I wish to be human. For Kagome…_

As the colors of ideas clashed together in her head, Kagome screamed as she reached for him. "Inuyasha! NO!"

But it was too late. He was enveloped in a bright light the color of the jewel, and in his self-less wish, the Shikon no Tama granted him what he wanted. His fuzzy ears disappeared, only to have human ones grow where they should be. His hair turned from snowy white to inky black in a cascade of color. And his eyes, a shade of gold she adored, faded to a dark grey. He looked down at his hands, which were now devoid of the long, sharp claws that had once protected himself and his now-wife. He felt up to his teeth, searching for the fangs he knew would not be there. He chuckled to himself. Why should he doubt it? It was the same as when the New Moon assaulted him, wasn't it? The most annoying part was the loss of senses; he would miss that. And the power and speed, of course. But he really wouldn't need that in this time, would he? But the best part… Well, there were two best parts. The first, was that Kagome would never have to look into his eyes ever again and see Sesshoumaru. But the other was the added bonus that without his heightened senses, he could no longer feel his brother's youki mingled within her.

~~~~~%~~

Gods, he was stupid. It was a commoner's word, but right now, he figured it applied to him. Who had he thought was getting married? Perhaps, deep down, he had hoped that Kagome had turned his brother down and that it was someone else's wedding everyone was bustling for. But all the signs had been there. All her greatest friends were the main ones involved, giving directions, overseeing, applying finishing touches. And the monk… He should have seen that coming. He had thought the monk wouldn't be able to perform the ceremony, but perhaps the humans had changed their laws.

And she had been so lovely, a goddess in white. But she hadn't seemed happy. Why, if she wasn't happy on her wedding day, of all days, was she getting married? And to that filthy-mouthed, manner-less hanyou, at that? What, was she only placating him? His eyes widened as he realized the implications. It would make perfect sense. It was so… _Kagome_ to marry his brother out of guilt. She was such an unselfish creature that he couldn't think of another who would do the same.

But hadn't she loved the half-breed? _She had_, he told himself accusingly. _But she still loves you_.

Growling at himself, Sesshoumaru merely told himself there was nothing he could do. She was marrying Inuyasha and if it were against her own wishes, so be it. Besides, he was hours away already, in his own lands.

And yet…

The memory of her broken, haunted face as she listened to her friend marry her to Inuyasha came to him, and it stirred his blood in a way he had tried to ignore. He had finally gotten past his desire, telling himself often that yes, he had cared for her, and still did. But he would not act on it. But now, even that resolve was breaking. What could he do? Could he stop the wedding? Could he whisk her away? Would he have to fight his brother? Surprisingly, he found that he didn't want to. Perhaps he had retained part of his amnesiac self when he reverted back to normal after all. Besides, he didn't even know of a word – let alone a sickness – like amnesia until Kagome came into his life.

Thinking back to his now-foreign memories, he remembered how gentle she had been, and how she had tried to explain to him what had happened, along with her assurances that he would be fine. He remembered how she had checked him for wounds soon after waking, afraid she had harmed him. Her little, shaking, exploring hands, which had made him crazy with want.

And now, he found, he ached for those same hands to explore him once again. He had made a mess of things, and he would make them right. Racing into the forest, he drove himself to top speed, his breath coming easily at first. As he neared eastern Nippon, however, his lungs could not keep up with the furious pace with which he drove his legs. He had to slow, and he felt like his heart would burst from his chest.

He approached the village, but skirted around it towards the tree Inuyasha had once been pinned on. The ceremony had been over for some time. Kagome's scent was fading, as were those of the guests. Even the once-brilliant carmine flowers that adorned the ceremonial arch were now withered, as if to drive home the point. Baring his fangs at the wooden structure, he moved in one fluid leap towards it and with claws extended, dripping poison, he dismembered it. His jaw flexing as he strained to keep from roaring, he ran towards the well, jumping in once he got to it. But as she had told him, the well did not work. Only now was he aware of the presence of one other.

Jumping out so that he would face her, he noticed that she wore almost the same expression as Kagome had earlier. Except she didn't look crushed, as the miko did.

"She's gone," he heard her say in a frail voice.

He had expected as much. He nodded to acknowledge her. He had always thought that if he were to face her again, it would be a much happier occasion. Neither of them felt much joy at the reunion.

"You're too late," she said in a voice so shattered, he thought she was speaking from his very soul.

And then, another voice told him the same thing.

'_My son, you delude yourself. One day, you will wake up and find that _you are too late_. And you will hate yourself more than you do now. You will suffer.'_

_And so it is, father_.

He felt the aura of another familiar human coming towards them slowly. He watched as Kohaku walked up behind Rin, holding her close. He hadn't seen the boy look so sad since he was under Naraku's control.

"She can't come back," Rin said suddenly.

This caught his attention.

"What?" he said, angrier than he had meant.

She cringed into her husband, not afraid of him, but hating the despair she could feel coming off him in waves.

It was Kohaku that answered. "Inuyasha had told us he was going to use the jewel." Sesshoumaru's eyes widened dramatically in a rare display of emotion. "He's going to wish to be human."

Sesshoumaru looked away, not able to look at either of them anymore. He was too late. His pride had kept him from the thing – the woman – he loved, and now, as his father had said, he would suffer. To know what he had had, to remember the feel of her, to know what her scent smelled like, and what her skin tasted like, and not be able to touch her again… it was unbearable. But…

"The well?" he growled, the words almost indistinguishable.

Rin shook her head. "Inuyasha said that after the wish was made, he would try to come back. He would have come back by now."

"Perhaps-"

"No," she said angrily. It wasn't fair. Here was Kagome's happily ever after – the man she loved, ready for her, finally accepting their relationship and finally swallowing his proud heritage – and it was too late. She was disgusted by the way things had turned out, and she was furious with Sesshoumaru for not seeing it sooner.

He could hear the accusation in that one word. Kagome wasn't coming back, and even if she was… Well, it was useless to ponder about these things. She was gone, and he would wander alone, for the rest of his days.

~~~~~%~~

In the bottom of the well, Inuyasha held Kagome tightly as she cried. The well had not accepted them, and she had been defeated. He could practically hear her heart crack, then shatter into pieces, never to be put together again. She had been angry, pushing him away. But as the realization sunk in, she allowed him to hold her.

Finally, she stopped crying, but she still wouldn't look at him. She was torn – she was incredibly furious with him for not asking her first; they could have talked about it. She would miss her friends horribly. And then came the incredibly suffocating guilt. For him to have made such a drastic decision – to alter himself completely and forever – he must have known. He must have figured it out. That she still, after over a year, thought of Sesshoumaru. And that sometimes, when she looked into his eyes, it wasn't him she was seeing. The crushing shame was too much, and she felt unbelievably awful.

With a heavy heart, she looked into his grey eyes and kissed him.

-------------END CHAPTER-------------

I want to address a question a fan asked me recently. **Sushiko**, from my site, **Inuyasha-fanfiction**, asked, (to paraphrase) 'why Sesshoumaru doesn't have a castle or palace like in other stories and why he's just in the wilderness. He should be rich.' Here's my answer:

"_In the manga, it's never been said that he does or doesn't have any of those things. I prefer to think he doesn't have that stuff. He's not an all-conquering lord, like Oda Nobunaga. He has his land, and that's all he cares about. He doesn't need money (what would he use it for?) and he wouldn't have a castle or palace, because he can hardly stand Jaken, so it doesn't make sense. Other people write that stuff in their stories because they need it - my story doesn't require it - in fact, there would be no point, because as time went on, it would get torn down anyways, in Kagome's time. In the manga, he's constantly traveling throughout Japan and that's how I'm keeping him."_


	14. XIV

A/N: **Aaaaaaaand we start with a lemon for 2009**. The whole first quarter of the story is lime-y, and I marked the end, so if you're not interested, just skip to the marked break. There's a bit of a comment at the end of the chapter, if you'd like to read it. I just want to let you guys know that I'm having problems with my computer – it's complicated, but basically, it's virtually impossible now to have both Word (my processor) and the internet open at the same time. You can imagine, this creates a problem for one such as myself, especially when some of the places I post at (dA, IYFF, Dokuga) need to be copy-and-pasted. So bear with me. It's not that I didn't want to write, it's that I quite literally could not. Also, for the last time… DO NOT (read: DO NOT) get comfortable with the Inuyasha/Kagome pairing. Please, guys, I'm begging you. I feel bad for the things I have to do in the upcoming chapters but your opinion (though regarded kindly) is not going to change my story. It's been planned this way for some time, and no amount of begging, pleading, bribery, or threats (you know who you are! LOL) can change that. Please, for the love of Mother Nature, DO NOT ask me to change the story. While I respect your feelings, whatever they may be – you love/hate Inu, you love/hate Sessh, Kagome confuses you – and I love all reviews, no matter what you say, don't expect me to change it. This is a SessKag story, and it's an angst story (if you don't know the meaning of the word ANGST, that explains a lot. It's all about emotional strife and turmoil – i.e. someone constantly second guessing themselves, putting themselves down, etc… - and that's the kind of thing I love. Sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I plan on (one day) beginning a series of shorter stories based on some of my favorite movies. More details later.

Kagome's song of the chapter:

"_Pain – without love._

_Pain – I can't get enough._

_Pain – I like it rough;_

'_Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all…"_ - Pain, Three Days Grace

That's the Way Love Goes

Chapter XIV

They kissed for some time, each needing the comfort of the other, as it had been a year ago. But through the fog of despair came the winds of arousal, and their sadness was forgotten.

She curled a hand into his now dark hair, enjoying the silky texture. When her nails scraped his scalp – something that he would have barely felt before – he groaned. She smiled against his lips and got onto her knees – one on each side of her 'husband' – and crawled up his body, admiring his still unclothed chest. His hands caressed their way from her deliciously curved hips to her small waist. He was delighted to find that it still didn't take much strength to pull her to him; she'd been easy to swing around when he was hanyou, and she was easy to handle now.

She gasped when he tugged her to his chest, and he smirked with pleasure. When she was well placed, their most intimate parts fitting snugly against one another, he began to rise. This was harder than planned, since he now had the strength of a human. Still, she was tiny and weighed less than one hundred pounds, and with some effort, he was able to lift her. She wrapped her legs around his waist and kept her arms around his neck, and all the while, their lips ravaged each other. She kissed his neck, suckling on a particularly sensitive spot, and his knees grew weak. He lost his balance, and they went tumbling to the ground. At first, he was only worried for her, checking to see if she was hurt. But when she looked up at him, she was trying desperately to hold back her laughter.

He grinned then, and she let loose. Her mirth filled the air, and he joined in, although he was still a bit shamed for his failure. When she finally got a hold of herself, she got to her feet, offering him a hand. He took it to her surprise, and they each climbed out of the well. Once exposed to the cool night air, Kagome realized what they must look like. Inuyasha, with only a pair of black slacks on, and she looked like something out of Victoria's Secret. Giggling madly, she grabbed Inuyasha's hand and made a run for the house, ducking as they went. She felt so alive! She knew there was no one around to see, but all the same, it seemed so wrong!

When they were finally inside, laughing until they slipped down the wall of the kitchen to sit, they looked at each other. Kagome was still so shocked that not only was she married – albeit falsely - to Inuyasha, but he was human, and never going to change back to a half-demon. She crawled to him, and he drank in her beauty. The moonlight was drifting inside from that kitchen's window, and it bathed her in an ethereal glow. When she was finally in front of him, she noticed how the darkness made his eyes almost black in color. She kissed him softly, pushing him down. When he was on his back, she lay over him, her slight weight pinning him down. Inuyasha ran his hands up her body, and cupped a breast in his palm.

Encouragingly, she pressed into it, letting him know she needed more pressure, more movement. He lifted his head to kiss her neck, and she moaned when he bit gently. Rubbing against him shamelessly, he bit back a groan of impatience. Tantalizingly, Kagome slowly slipped a hand down his chest until she found his pants, finding it annoying that she had to undo them yet again tonight. As soon as she unbuttoned them, she felt him stiffen in anticipation. As she pulled the zipper down, he began to tremble. And then, without bothering to remove the clothing, she reached in to touch him.

There was something odd about it. She was no stranger to the male body, but with a different partner, there was always some trepidation. _What if he doesn't like the way I touch him? What if he doesn't enjoy this?_ What if…? Of course with Inuyasha, she didn't have anything to worry about. But the feminine indecision and fear of rejection always take hold, and she paused as she wrapped her fingers around him. In that brief moment, Kagome noticed that there wasn't a noise anywhere. It was totally silent. And that's when she realized he was holding his breath, leaving himself totally – and literally – in her hands. She smiled coyly, and all feelings of unease washed away as she stroked down his shaft, making him arch his back with pleasure.

When she was sure she had his complete attention, she squeezed a little harder as she pumped him slowly. He could only make unintelligible sounds while she worked him. Then she began to slip down, her head coming closer to the hard member she held. Inuyasha, never knowing of carnal pleasures, could feel this was something in the making, although he had no idea what. He watched as her head dipped lower and lower, and when she finally open her mouth, he understood; his heart began a frantic race. She suckled the head gently, and it made Inuyasha jerk so violently she lost her grip on him. He gave her a sheepish grin and she scowled playfully at him. When he had a better grip on himself, she resumed, grasping him once again and guiding him to her mouth. She let her tongue loose, to run up his shaft, and he trembled with pleasure and anticipation. He gasped when suddenly, his cock was inside her warm mouth and it was moving down, sucking on him. And he laid his head back and closed his eyes tightly when she increased the rhythm and pressure. Gods, he was going to explode.

He didn't want to, so he pushed her away, but it was too fast – he learned that night that she would see that as rejection, but he quickly worked to rectify it. Sitting up, he removed his pants and the 'boxers' she had gotten him – he was still trying to get used to them – and lay in all his naked glory. Kagome could not help the traitorous part of her mind that compared him to his brother. Of course as a human, he was smaller than Sesshoumaru, although with Inuyasha, his whole body was smaller. Inuyasha stood only six inches taller than her, while Sesshoumaru was almost a foot taller than his little brother. But Inuyasha was different in other ways, too. He was of heavier build; instead of his muscles being long and lean, his were thick and corded. Though both bodies were beautiful, she couldn't help feeling that she preferred the leaner body, although there could be other reasons for that she didn't want to think about right now.

Which was fine, because she would have forgotten anyways, the way he was running his hands along her body, learning her curves. He reached behind her, knowing the clasps were there, but he had never helped her undress before, and he was inexperienced.

"Watch," she said, getting to her feet. Before long, she had her back to him, her hair tossed over her shoulder.

She started to unhook the bodice, going slowly to tease him. Finally, he got to his feet, impatient. She smirked. He had had enough, and quickly finished for her. When her bare back was revealed, he couldn't help but notice that although to him, she was still the most beautiful woman in the world, she looked… unhealthy. Her shoulder blades stuck out, and he could see each vertebrae of her spine clearly. He was worried, wondering if she had been getting better as he had thought. Perhaps it was only wishful thinking?

But he wasn't able to think clearly much longer, since she had dropped the binding and turned to him. Her heavy mass of waves covered one breast, but the other was exposed to his hungry eyes. Before he could move, she reached down to hook a finger into the edge of her underwear. Fingering the lace, she slowly pulled downwards, baring her creamy skin inch by inch. His stormy gaze couldn't leave her hand if it tried. He watched until she was bare to him, and his eyes were fixed on their prize. He walked to her, but this was uncovered ground for him. He had no experience, and anything he had ever been told – with no males in his life except those that tried to kill him – was by Miroku, who had seemed to fail in his advances except with Sango, or with females that wanted him dead or for dinner.

Kagome seemed to feel his nervousness and reached for his hand. She pulled him close, knowing that when you were inexperienced, the only thing to do was to give in to whatever your feelings told you to. So first, she ran her hands up his chest, feeling each dip and curve of muscle. Looking up into his darkened stare, she kissed him. Gingerly at first, and then, as he grew bolder and more confident, it grew passionately. His hands roamed, one playing tentatively with a nipple and the other sprawled across her lower back. That hand – rougher, thicker than she remembered – found her rounded backside, palming it and squeezing. It came around her hip, still learning this new territory, and then he was seeking her, his fingers dipping into her folds.

She gasped, the feeling so familiar and yet so different. As he experimented with the new feeling, he took notice of her reactions. This, he found, he could do. This was obviously the most sensitive spot on her body, and he barely had to touch her and she would writhe and moan and her body would tremble for more. An added bonus was the lack of claws, which he assumed she would not appreciate.

When he had tested different motions, speeds, and pressures, his instincts took him one step further, seeking the warmth he knew was there. Boldly, he pushed further until he had one finger inside. She squirmed, bucking shamelessly into his hand, wanting and needing more. He smiled with masculine pride, and added another finger, much to her delight. But she wanted more. She grabbed him roughly, kissing him in a harsh, angry motion. He responded, liking the way this was going. He pulled his fingers away, to her chagrin. He laughed at her pouting expression. She tried to glare at him, but he suddenly had a predatory glean in his eyes. She felt a sliver of fear skate up her spine, and it served the purpose of stoking the flames of her desire. He walked towards her, and she stepped back, until she bumped up against the wall that stood between the kitchen and living room. Trapped, she could only watch as he approached.

When he was in front of her, he pulled her head forward roughly, enjoying the new game. She kissed him hungrily, and her eagerness pleased him. But he was ready for her, and he needed to get the point across. He pinched a hardened peak, and she gasped. When he released her mouth to nibble her neck, she groaned, threading her hands in his hair and pulling, as if to keep his head there. But he wasn't satisfied, and ever her fiery nature wouldn't hold him. His head ventured down, and he took the unattended other breast in his hand. Slowly, he reached out with his tongue and grazed it over the perky pink skin.

"Gnnn…" she managed, and now, her hands were insistent on keeping his mouth exactly where it was.

Completely fine with this turn of events, he brought his whole mouth around the tip of her breast, and suckled greedily. Alternating between laving it with his tongue and sucking, Inuyasha kept her squirming like a snake.

"Oh… that's…" She took a moment to pant, interrupting her praise. "Oh," she repeated, "that's good."

Pleased, he stopped his ministrations to nip at her with his now lees-sharp teeth. She gasped, always being a fan of painful pleasure. He did it again, harder, and she bucked, encountering Inuyasha's eager manhood. An electric jolt shot through his nervous system when their intimate parts rubbed against each other. He noticed the glazed look in Kagome's cerulean eyes and experimented, purposefully rubbing his excited member against her wet heat. They both clenched fists in whatever was available – the wall, hair, flesh – and Kagome decided enough was enough.

"M-more…" she commanded, despite her shaky voice.

Understanding, he pressed up against her, and she clung to him desperately. But she couldn't seem to get close enough. With her arms clamped in a death grip around his neck, she lifted a long leg so that it hung over his muscled hip, bringing them even closer together. He forced her into the wall, and she moaned as the head of his cock twitched impatiently at her opening. He was amazed that she was so wet, so ready.

He reached down to pinch a nipple as he adjusted himself, then slowly, he pushed. She could feel him spreading her, and she hissed in impatience. Savoring the moment, he tortured them both with his slow movements. Pushing in inch by inch, he was surprised by how much his bride was enjoying herself – only to remember that she was not a virgin. Anger and jealousy coursed through his veins, and he took it out on her by forcing himself into her in one quick burst, making him miss that wondrous sensation that is the first thrust. She only laughed devilishly, and he had to keep from laughing. Then she wriggled, and it sent a tingling sensation straight to his toes. He drew back and pushed into her again, drawing a gasp from her as she was forced back into the wall. Slowly but surely, as he gained knowledge and confidence, his thrusts came quicker, stronger. Soon, Kagome placed her other leg around his waist. He kept up his pace until he felt the tingling sensation increase, telling him something was coming, something big. Eager for it, he pumped into her even harder, and she held on for dear life as he thrust up into her. Finally, his orgasm was upon him, and he saw a blinding light as he came undone, and they both panted as he calmed.

Kagome unwound her legs and tried not to feel disappointed. Of course, he was new at this, and probably had no idea women could orgasm too. As she wiped the sweat from her brow, she saw him slink to the ground, the biggest, dopiest grin on his face she'd ever seen. Instantly, he was forgiven. She'd made his millennia, and she'd do it again. Of course, this meant that they were going to have to talk about it, something she was not looking forward to. But if it improved her sex life and their happiness, she would do it.

Feeling him drip out of her, she felt the need to take a shower. She ruffled his hair playfully as she passed by him, retrieving her scattered clothes from the kitchen. Grinning, she walked upstairs purposefully. He watched her, his expression still one of awe. He didn't follow, however, so she didn't stop until she was back in her room. She meant to only throw her undergarments on the bed, but she saw her rumpled wedding dress on the floor.

&&&&& END OF MATURE CONTENT &&&&&&

Unbidden, the memories flooded her. She remembered the reason she had run out into the midnight air to the well house. She remembered that she had married a man she loved, but wasn't in love with. And lastly, she felt the loss from not being able to reach her own climax and remembered a time where her needs were put first, where she was an equal in the carnal arts, and when she lost herself several times a night. But those nights – and memories – were literally in the past, and she could never get them back.

Grateful for his dulled senses, Kagome dragged herself into the bathroom and turned the water on hot, letting the steam and spray drown out her tears.

~~~~~%~~

It was merrier than normal at breakfast, everyone laughing and sharing stories and memories from the night before. She really didn't feel the joy they all radiated, but she laughed and smiled anyways.

Inuyasha had come upstairs after she was in bed, and he had sat on her windowsill, still naked, into the wee hours. She had fallen asleep, and he slipped into bed, putting an arm around her, and falling asleep as well. She had risen first, dressing and going downstairs to inspect the damage. It looked the same, except that Inuyasha's clothes were still strewn about. She had brought her things upstairs last night, why couldn't he do the same? Annoyed, she picked up his things, glad that her family hadn't returned. When she arrived back in her room, she found that Inuyasha was in the shower. She cleaned her room and before she was done, Inuyasha emerged from the bathroom, his shaggy, black hair dripping wet, and his toned body wrapped only in a small towel.

A small trickle of desire twirled into her stomach, but she knew her family would be back soon. She settled for running a hand over his taut stomach and giving him a sultry kiss. He grabbed at her, trying to make her stay, but she pulled away.

"I can't," she told him, smiling gently. "They'll be home any minute."

He sighed. "Yeah, I guess we'll have to keep it under wraps until they move out, huh?"

She cringed. Inuyasha was known for his rudeness and insensitivity, but this was too much. The tears sprang, and she left him and the room to wait for her family.

Inuyasha frowned as he watched her depart. "Wha'd I say?" Knowing there was no one to set him straight or tell him how to make things right, he sighed, resigning himself to getting dressed.

Now, as Kagome collected plates, her mother suggested an outing. "Why don't you two go to the movies or something?"

To be honest, she really didn't want to be with him right now. She'd rather spend her time with her family, who – as she was rudely reminded earlier – were leaving soon. It was only three weeks until Souta's Middle School days were over, and a few days after that, they were going to his new High School, to settle him. Then Kagome's mother and grandfather would go to Shimane, to live in a country home that their family apparently owned.

It was enough to send her into a rage, but she would hold it in, for everyone's sake. Her brother was leaving either way, and it would only hurt her mother to see her in pain now. It would be easier if mama were not around to see her like this.

~~~~~%~~

A week later, an elderly woman came to the shrine to pray for her health. She had a gash that would not heal, and doctors had put her on all kinds of medication to staunch blood flow, kill infection, heal skin… Kagome frowned at the woman. Did she ever eat? Or was her only nutrition of medicinal value?

"Takahashi-sama, you need to cleanse yourself of these medicines," she told the elderly lady.

The older woman nodded sagely, as if to convey that this was what she had come for. It was the first time Kagome's other training would have come in handy. By now, she had perfected her healing powers, although it drained her horribly, especially now that she was so unhealthy herself. She wondered if she were even capable of calling her healing powers forward.

"Please, stay still," Kagome instructed as she placed her hands on the frail woman's arm.

The woman nodded again. "Hai, miko-sama."

Relaxing and letting her body feel its' way into the woman, her hands began their usual, pink glow. As the woman gasped, she felt the warmth of the light sooth her, and she closed her eyes. In a few minutes, Kagome could do no more. She slumped over to the side, and Inuyasha caught her, smoothing her hair away from her face.

She looked at her arm, amazed. "It's… It's gone! The cut is gone, and I feel great!" She looked to the barely conscious miko. "Young lady, I didn't believe there were any left from the 'old times', but it seems you are quite different. I thank you."

Inuyasha nodded, knowing Kagome wasn't exactly up to a conversation right now. He pulled her into his arms, letting his body support her slight weight. "Hey, don't tell too may people, okay? See how she gets?" He gestured to the limp woman in his arms.

"It's okay, Inuyasha," Kagome said softly.

"I see," Mrs. Takahashi said, nodding. "The girl is special, but it mustn't be wasted on the foolish. Don't worry, boy!" She patted him heartily. And with a few energetic steps, she was gone.

Inuyasha sighed. These modern people were so much crazier than the time he was born in. "Let's get you inside," he said.

Once she was situated inside, a cup of tea in her hand and her cheeks regaining color, he finally left to find Souta. Kagome's mother stayed with her, worry etched into her face.

"Mom, I feel fine, really."

"I know, dear, it's just that…" What could she say? She couldn't tell the truth, but the warning to be careful with her powers went beyond a few gossipy old ladies.

Her eyes shifted tellingly, and Kagome grew suspicious. "What?"

"Oh, nothing," she said, smiling. "I just don't want you to wear yourself out, that's all. And I don't want little old women crowding you when I'm gone. You have to restrain your powers."

What was this all about? Her mother had no problems when she tended to people with bandages, and she surely didn't mind the extra traffic flow after one of Kagome's deeds went noticed. Why was she so worried now that she had used her powers? After all, she had actually helped the old woman. She found her mother looking cautiously towards the door, as if she expected someone to suddenly barge in. Odd. What was this really about?

~~~~~%~~

Once Kagome had gone upstairs to rest, Inuyasha trailing behind as usual, there was a slight knock on the sliding wooden door. It was half-expected, although it wasn't' something she was looking forward to.

"Yes?" she said, attempting to be civil.

He looked into the darkened house, hoping to catch a glimpse of her, although he knew she was upstairs. Her power still lingered with him, snaking over his skin, calling to his youki. He turned back to the mother of the woman he had spent the past few centuries mourning over.

"Is she well?"

"She's fine," came the answer, almost in a sigh. "She gets… worn out easily nowadays." She sent him a pointed stare, and he understood.

"She still is not healthy."

Mrs. Higurashi looks at the floor. "No."

"But… she has married my brother?"

In a sense, yes. Although it wasn't legal. But did he need to know that? "Yes. One week ago."

He nodded, as if knowing the exact date. "And he is now human?" Of course, otherwise he would have sensed him and ran down the stairs, brandishing Tessaiga and cutting through walls to get to him.

The woman nodded. There was a brief silence, and she became pensive. "Why don't you leave them alone?" she asked, no malice in her voice. "She… has Inuyasha. You can't fix this. You once told me you were too late, and it's true."

She watched as she saw his eyes show all his pain, his torment, his years of waiting.

"I felt her power. I merely wished to ascertain if there was danger," he said before disappearing into the night.

With a sigh, Kagome's mother slid the door back into place and went to pour herself a cup of tea.

~~~~~%~~

Kagome went through the motions of being the main proprietor of the Shrine; her grandfather did minimal work now as he prepared for retirement. Inuyasha began to learn to do handiwork, now that he wouldn't be destroying things with a single touch. He couldn't do everything right away, and he was still, for the most part, ignorant. During the quiet nights in her room – where he could stay, undisturbed now, since they were married – he opened up to her, and Kagome embraced every secret he told. He didn't have many left, however, and so mostly, he spoke of his childhood.

She hadn't known the extent of his teachings before. But he told her now, unashamed, how his mother had only the chance to teach him basic reading and writing. And he hadn't used those skills in so long that he was rusty. Among the stories he told were of how his mother had to move constantly from village to village – always avoiding the west – as the people would grow more and more weary of housing a hanyou. So after she died, he went off on his own, to live in the wilderness. He learned to hunt, he learned to use his powers, and he learned to avoid humans. These were all things he hadn't needed to do with his mother around.

One night, he finally told Kagome of the constant shunning he had to endure, in each of the villages. Children wouldn't play with him, women wouldn't look at him, and men would try to harm him. Of course this brought Kagome to tears, and he had to abandon his storytelling to console her. But she was more angry than sad; how could anyone treat a child in such a way? He continued, telling her how only the promise of the Shikon no Tama brought him around humans again. He was wild; feral. But it brought him to Kikyou, and she pitied him, guessing his harsh upbringing. He was confused by her unwillingness to harm him – until then, no human, save his mother, had shown him mercy. Little by little, she taught him tolerance. But he had so long to go, yet, and their distrust for the other's heritage brought them to ruin.

Kagome thought she should feel jealous, or some modicum of envy, but she didn't. She was awed to hear the same story anew, straight from his memory. She knew, in that instant, that she was right not to hate Kikyou. And it seemed that now, Inuyasha held no longing for the dead priestess.

"And then you came along," he smirked. "Wakin' me up and fuckin' up my whole world."

She smiled. "Are you complaining? Goshinboku is right outside. I could always-"

"Keh, you don't have the balls." He could see she was about to protest, so he interrupted. "Besides, I don't think you can seal human."

Kagome thought about this for a minute. He was probably right. Kaede had taught her many things, but anything her power worked with – except healing, which worked on both – was of youkai origin. So she would just be wasting her time. "All right, you win," she told him.

Smug, Inuyasha grinned. "'Course I do. So anyways, that's it."

Kagome was staring out the window now, pensive. How things could change. Three-and-a-half years ago, she would have sworn that she would still be chasing after Inuyasha, forever shadowed in the eclipse that was Kikyou. She was desperately in love, and there wasn't even a doubt that that could change. Three years ago, she saw herself finally marrying Inuyasha, and then having children, and flipping back and forth between the two eras she spent her time in. Of course, this was silly, since had they had children, the risk of demons coming after the jewel would have been too great, and both she and Inuyasha would have had to stay in her time anyways.

But that didn't happen. Apparently, because Inuyasha wanted her to finish school, so that she never felt unfulfilled. Silly hanyou, he could have told her that. If he had, they could have still built somewhat of a life together while waiting for her to be done with school.

And a year ago, she would not even have bet one hundred million yen on a guess that she would become attached to Sesshoumaru, and they would fall in love. Her world had been turned inside out, ripped to shreds and resewn so that the pieces didn't match. With all of that knowledge, she then would not have bet her life that after that, the Taiyoukai would then regain his memories – and hatred for humans – and throw both herself and Rin to the sharks.

She wasn't sure which journey had been more perilous: the search for the jewel shards and Naraku, or falling deeply in love and being tossed away by the brother of the man she once loved.

It was strange how she could never rid herself of the past. Why couldn't there be one day when she didn't think of Naraku, Kikyou, or her friends, who were now unreachable, almost five hundred years in the past? And now, she was supposed to be happy, married to the boy she had been through so much with, the one she had saved and was saved by. But there was always the trickle of remembrance. She didn't want to remember. She wanted to forget him. She wanted to never think of anything that brought forth the crippling memories.

She had to admit that she was much more comfortable with Inuyasha now that he was human. She didn't worry about whose golden eyes she was staring into, whose white hair she was running her fingers through. There were no claws, no fangs. And yet… A part of her missed all those things. She told herself it was because she had loved the half-demon Inuyasha. A tiny part of her brain thought there was another reason, but she wouldn't even entertain the thought.

Her mother had taken to Inuyasha instantly, complimenting his now-dark hair and mysterious eyes. Kagome missed the ears, and she was sure her mother sis too, though she would never say it. And some things were easier now: he was able to play with Souta without ruining controllers or soccer balls; he could assist her grandfather and wouldn't pass out from the incense; and he enjoyed the cooking more, something that had always irked her before. She chalked it up to doggie taste buds, and how dogs liked the simplest things you gave them.

She was brought out of her musings when there was a knock at the door. Inuyasha told them to come in, and it turned out to be her mother.

"Kagome, dear, there's another woman here asking for help with her health," her mother told her, worry lines prominent in her face.

This bothered Kagome, but she would ask later. "Are you sure it's not the same one?"

"No. This one is… different." She looked away at the last word, and Kagome knew something was wrong.

Inuyasha, oblivious, nodded. "Let's go," he said, grabbing Kagome's wrist.

Together, the three of them walked down the stairs and outside. Kagome immediately noticed the biggest difference. She was facing away, but this person was in a wheelchair. Humorously, the first thing that Kagome thought was, 'how did she get up the shrine steps?!' But she pushed the question away and came around to the front of the sickly person. Immediately, she was stunned. This woman wasn't very old, like the other. She was young, perhaps younger than her own mother!

As usual, and with just as much tact, Inuyasha was the first to voice his concerns. "What the hell happened to you?"

Kagome and her mother both glared at him, but he was oblivious. His eyes were trained on the tubes that ran from her arm to a little bag that was posted atop a stand. He had never seen anything like it. It reminded him of the tentacles Naraku often shot his way, and he was wary.

The woman turned big, hopeless, dead brown eyes up to him, and he shivered. They took in her lack of hair, her frail body – she was even thinner than Kagome had been at her worst – and her sallow, fragile skin. But the biggest difference was her lack of life; it was as though she had already given up.

"Forgive me," a man said from behind them. They were amazed that he looked barely better than she, although he was standing, and had a full head of black hair. "My grandmother was here the other day…" Oh. That explained a lot. "… and she said that you have a healer. She said that the miko cured her with a simple touch. We had to try – I carried my wife and the chair all the way up here, although I should have called first. Is the priestess around?"

He looked so desperate, as if this was the last string of hope that he held, and that she had already lost her grip on it. Kagome had recovered from the previous healing and had been trying to eat a little better, in case something else came along. But she still emptied her stomach every now and then, but not on her own will. So she was still far from optimal health.

"Is it… cancer?" she asked tentatively.

The woman in the chair finally moved. Slowly, as if she were afraid her own head would roll off lest she move wrong, she nodded.

The Higurashi women gasped. They had never had to deal with cancer up close, and it frightened them now, to see the plague that so many suffered from.

"You poor thing," Kagome heard her mother say as her own eyes filled with tears.

Kagome took another step towards the woman and prepared to bend down to her level, but felt an arm restraining her. She looked up to find Inuyasha holding her back. She frowned.

"Kagome, you're not ready for this. She looks really sick," he said softly.

She found no malice in his expression, but she was angry. "That's exactly why I have to do this," she told him, flicking her arm out of his grip.

Kagome's mother, having been recovered from the shock, agreed. "Kagome, last time, you almost passed out, and that was just a little cut."

Kagome wheeled on her mother, think that of anyone she would understand. "It was not just a little cut. Her blood was tainted with infection, which was why the cut wouldn't heal. And it wasn't little, either. It was through the muscle." She didn't want to defend herself against her entire family, but she wasn't going to be moved by this. She was going to try, with their support or without.

"Priestess-"

"Please, call me Kagome," she said, smiling gently towards the man.

"Hai," he said, bowing. "Kagome-sama, we do not have any money to pay you with, because of all the expensive medicines, but-"

Kagome rose her hard to stop him, her blue eyes hard as steel. "Nonsense. I don't need any money from you. I only want to see her better," she said, gesturing towards the sick woman.

"Kagome," Inuyasha said, a warning in his voice.

If she had fangs, she would have bared her teeth at him, but otherwise, she would look silly, so she settled for a glare. He shrunk back, knowing the look all too well. He may not have a subjugation spell to curb his behavior, but he was stuck with the woman, and in her time, no less. So he was going to have to see how far this could go.

Kagome knelt next to the woman and noticed her eyes following her. She read the trepidation in the woman's dull eyes. "From what I've heard, it doesn't hurt at all. And once…" she thought back to a conversation she had with Sesshoumaru, tried to disconnect from it, but it was too late. She remembered him telling her that he had been filled with happy warmth when she had healed him. "Once, I was told it was quite pleasant." She spoke softly, and Inuyasha wondered what she was thinking of.

Barely noticeable, the woman nodded, giving her permission. "What's her name?" Kagome asked the man.

"Kayo," her husband answered.

"Okay, Kayo-sama," she said, taking the woman's frail hand. "Here we go."

And Kagome closed her eyes and concentrated, pouring her very soul into the woman. Her bright light filled the evening air with a luminescence that they had to shield their eyes from. Kagome grunted with the strain – there was so much sickness! – but she pushed forward, wanting so desperately to give the woman a new lease on life. It didn't take long before she felt the drain, the pull on her consciousness. She began to see pinpoints of light in her vision, and then it flickered. With a few more flashes, her world turned black, and she knew nothing else.

~~~~~%~~

The light, golden in color, was coming in through her window at an angle, and it didn't seem right. Hadn't it been twilight just a few minutes ago? Sitting up, Kagome was hit with a wave of vertigo, and she held a hand to her head.

"Hey, easy there."

She looked up to find Inuyasha, a soft smile on his face and his eyes shining brightly, despite their dark color. She tried to smile at him, but was distracted by an angry growl from her stomach. She giggled.

"Yeah, it's been a while since you ate last," he said knowingly. "Do you wanna go downstairs to eat?"

Not trusting her legs yet, she shook her head.

Inuyasha laughed heartily. "Okay, princess. I'll bring ya something."

With that, he left the room. Kagome smiled. He was so sweet sometimes, when he wanted to be. She tried to think back to what had happened, but she couldn't remember. They had had dinner as a family, and then she and Inuyasha had come upstairs. They talked a little, and her mother had come inside to tell her that was a visitor…

"Kayo-chan!" She stood, swaying and holding her head before falling back onto her bed.

Ugh. Her head felt like a horse youkai had trampled across it. Luckily, Inuyasha chose that moment to return. He carried a tray with a bowl of rice and some udon, her favorite. She sighed in happiness, the fragrant soup wafting her way.

"You okay?" he asked, worried.

"I'm fine, I just tried to stand up too quickly," she explained.

He chuckled. "Good thing I brought this up then," he told her, handing her a cup of tea. She drank greedily, and then started on the rice.

"Whaf happn'd to Kayo-fan?" she said, her mouth filled with little white grains that also stuck to her face.

Inuyasha looked at her, worried. He knew she would be pleased, but he was concerned for what it would mean in the future. After all, she always loved to heal people, and knowing she actually could help to this degree… there would be no living with her from now on.

His face sent a wrong message, though, and she felt a wave of nausea creep across her. She wiped her mouth and put the bowl down.

Damn! She had been eating and he made her stop. Angry with himself, Inuyasha forced himself to smile. "She's fine, Kagome."

Her head shot up, azure eyes wide and her mouth in an 'o' shape. "What…" She had to swallow, not believing, but wanting to believe. "What?"

He grinned now, not being able to hide the pride he felt from her. "You did great, Kagome. She's… well, she looks better. You shoulda seen her. Her skin looked pink, her eyes were all sparkly, and she even smiled. If that wasn't enough, she had this little fuzz on her head that wasn't there before."

"Hair? I… I made her hair grow?" she asked incredulously.

"I guess with all that shit in her blood, her hair couldn't grow. But you purified it right away, so yeah, her hair grew." He laughed boisterously.

She gave it a minute to sink in, but it was just so… unbelievable! It was completely unfathomable that she – a young woman that had been mediocre at best fighting demons – was able to cure an incurable disease. But then…

Frowning, she addressed her husband. "Why did you look so worried just now?"

Now he looked sheepish. "It's not what you think. I just… I'm worried about what this means. It'll kill you if people are here everyday asking you to heal them."

She understood his point. Not only could it quite literally kill her, but emotionally, to have lines of people, asking her to help them… The voices came to her, so familiar: _Help me, Kagome-sama; save my daughter, Kagome-sama; heal my illness, Kagome-sama_…

"I mean, it's bad enough that after that, you were out for almost two days, but then on top of that…"

"Wait, what?" she asked, her eyes snapping to his.

"What?" he asked, confused.

"What do you mean, 'out for two days'?"

"Kagome, it was Tuesday when you healed Kayo. It's Thursday afternoon."

She looked out the window, remembering that the daylight was off. Indeed, the sun was low in the sky, about two hours away from dusk, which was the time that she had met with the sick woman. No wonder she was so damned hungry. Well, there was nothing left to do but accept it. Turning back to her food, she momentarily forgot her rice in favor of the noodles. She ate, amazed that she found that it made her happy to do so – there was no queasiness, no dry heaves. She finally had an appetite!

Inuyasha was pleased to see her eating, and left her alone to join his mother-in-law. On the way down the stairs, he thought about the couple that had arrived here two days ago, miserable and defeated. But they had left happy and humble.

~~~~~%~~

She had collapsed, and Inuyasha had caught her before she slumped over.

"Kagome?" he said, panic rising in his voice.

Her mother joined him, tapping her daughter's face lightly. "Kagome, dear?"

They both hurried inside, and went about the preparations. Inuyasha carried her upstairs, and her mother wet a rag for her head. After half an hour with no sign of her regaining consciousness, they returned downstairs, only to find Kayo and her husband sitting in her kitchen with her father-in-law. Inuyasha offered them a stern gaze.

Kayo's husband bowed his head. "We wished to thank you," he said.

"Yes, please send my express gratitude to Kagome-chan," Kayo said in a beautiful voice.

It shocked Inuyasha and his mother-in-law to hear her speak, and that's when they actually looked at her. The transformation was amazing! Her skin had a healthy glow, and her once-dull eyes were now a honeyed brown, shining with joy. She even had a small amount of hair, something akin to a buzz cut.

Kagome's mother gasped. Inuyasha gawked like a fish out of water.

"Don't mind them," grandpa said in his shrill, aged voice. "They have no manners. Of course, we will tell my granddaughter you said 'thank you'." He placed his hands together and bowed his head. When he was upright again, he asked, "So, what did she do for you?"

They all wanted to fall out of their chairs and to the floor.

~~~~~%~~

It had gone on for so long, she had come to expect it. His devotion, if anything, was unwavering.

"You didn't have to come," she said, not meeting his golden gaze. It was strange. Now that Inuyasha's eyes were dark, she felt uncomfortable looking at him. He was so… alien.

"I felt the strength of her powers. She was over-exerting herself. And then it was gone. I could not even feel her aura."

Kagome's mother sighed. "No offense, but it isn't your business anymore."

He looked torn; he knew she was right, but he needed to know she was safe, even though he could feel her upstairs somewhere, alive, but not awake. He began to turn away, but she stopped him with a small hand on his shirt sleeve. He fought to not rip his arm away from her, to not melt her hand. He also kept himself from growling, settling for a shade of his usual stoic façade. Unlike his old masks of bored uninterest, his eyes betrayed him, something that he hadn't been able to hide since the day he had learned he was too late.

"I'm sorry," she said, and she seemed to mean it. "I know you cared about-" he glared at her, making her correct her usage, "I know you care for her. It's just that… if Inuyasha ever found out… And Kagome. Do you know what it would do to her?" She saw the naked concern in his eyes and knew he understood. He would leave if she explained, so she told him what had happened the day before. "There was a sick woman here. Kagome expelled all her energy healing the woman, and she's been sleeping since."

He was satisfied with this and began to turn away.

"I don't think you should come here anymore."

He frowned as he walked away. He didn't need to impress the woman, he was impressive enough. If he felt something was wrong, he would come back. And nothing she could say would stop him.

~~~~~%~~

"She's got an appetite now," he told Kagome's mother happily.

"Really?" She looked surprised.

"Yeah, she seemed real happy to see the udon," he chuckled.

She laughed with him. "Yes, she has always liked udon. Do you think I should make her something else?"

Inuyasha twisted his mouth in thought. "Let's not jinx it just yet. If she wants something, then we'll worry. If we start shoveling food her way, you know how she'll get," he said, his brow creasing.

"Mmm," was all she responded with. They all knew her famous temper, and if she thought they were trying to make her eat, she would throw a fit and stubbornly refuse to eat anything.

They chatted for a moment about the miraculous recovery of the cancer stricken woman and then they heard Kagome coming downstairs, the items on her tray tinkling against each other. Inuyasha jumped up to help her. She looked capable, though, and he refrained, lest he invoke her wrath. She emptied her things into the sink and began washing. Her mother watched warily, also afraid to help. A few minutes later, Kagome was finished and sat with them.

They wondered if this was the calm before the storm, or if she really was going to be better from now on. Inuyasha looked at his mother-in-law, and she returned his concerned stare. They were brought out of their silent conversation by Kagome's voice, bright and cheery.

"So, what's for dinner?"

Oh, she was going to be fine.

----------END CHAPTER---------

Sorry this was shorter than usual, it was just a good place to stop. Thanks to everyone who is still reading!

I want to take the time to address a review on Dokuga: Someone wrote that although they had enjoyed the story up until now, they felt that Kagome's depression and anorexia was not 'in character' enough, that it wasn't believable for Kagome. My answer? In the manga, Kagome never suffered such loss. She was never parted from Inuyasha until the very end, and even then, we didn't see how she was for the three years she was gone. When we did finally see her, she was sad. She may not have looked depressed, but we have no idea what it was really like for her. Also, this story is different. She loved and lost, and then loved, had sex, and lost again. Sex, when you're in love, _**can**_ alter your way of thinking. While not everyone is as chemically unbalanced as myself, I used my own experiences to try to get you to really feel Kagome's point-of-view. This included not being able to eat without feeling sick and major depression (which I have experienced both due to the loss of someone I loved). Not everyone would act this way, but I feel that after building an even stronger bond with Sesshoumaru, she was completely devastated when she had to leave him. And it wasn't that she was anorexic – when it happened to me, I wasn't withholding nutrients from myself on purpose, in order to lose weight. I literally couldn't eat. If I tried, my stomach would turn. I probably consumed less than 600 calories per day, for about five months. I looked like crap, I felt like crap, and everyone worried and tried to help, but help only comes to those that want it, and Kagome didn't want help. She's finally at the point where she wants to get better, and so endeth the controversy about Kagome's depression.


	15. XV

A/N: So…. I know it's been a while for you guys, but this is the first chapter of the New Year for me. I'm going to try not to make the chapters too long, because it seems like this story will be over by the early 20-odd chapters. I'd like for there to be more chapters than that, so if you notice the slight decrease, you know why. Don't forget: this story doesn't really have any action in it; there's no big baddie to fight. It's a drama. And so, there's gonna be less chapters anyways. Also, I wanted to make a little note about my not-as-long chapters: you see, on deviantART, it's a BIG ol' pain in the proverbial ass to submit literature, and one of my problems is that if my chapters are too long, I have to post them in two parts. As if putting in codes isn't enough, I have to worry about that, too. To tell the truth, if I didn't have such great reviewers there, I wouldn't post there at all. So that's another reason for shorter chappies. And please excuse my lack of dialogue. I assure you, no one is having any interesting conversations, besides the ones I've put in. This chapter was mostly written to show you how Sesshoumaru lived through the centuries until Kagome's time, and to show you a little about what I think of Kagome's personal history.

Also: Nippon = Japan, to the Japanese.

Sorry for the long song entry – believe it or not, this is a little over half the song. But it's by one of my favorite artists, and it's one of my fave songs from her. The song is so spot-on for Sesshoumaru that I had to post this batch of lyrics; he's really mentally beating himself, and if has a second chance, he won't screw it up again:

"_I've been alone inside myself for far too long._

_Never really wanted it that way, but I let it happen._

_If I could do it all again, my life would be…_

_Infinitely better than before; wouldn't miss a moment._

_Make time for laughing with my friends._

_Make love, make music, make amends._

_Try to make a difference, try to love, try to understand._

_Instead of just giving up, I'd use the power at my command._

_But there's always tomorrow - _

_To start over again._

_Things will never stay the same, _

_Only one sure thing has changed._

_That's why there's always tomorrow._

_I guess it took a little time for me to see._

_The reason I was born into this world, and what I'd have to go through._

_Before I finally realized that I could be…_

_Infinitely better than before, definitely stronger._

_I'll face whatever comes my way._

_Savor each moment of the day._

_Love as many people as I can along the way._

_Help someone who's given up, _

_Even if it's just to raise my eyes and pray._

_But there's always tomorrow._

_To start over again._

_Things will never stay the same, _

_Only one sure thing has changed._

_That's why there's always tomorrow…_

_Before your last setting sun._

_And everything your heart is longing for,_

_Has yet to be won." _- Always Tomorrow, Gloria Estefan

That's the Way Love Goes

Chapter XV

If he had to suffer, then so be it. He thought, in a way, he was punishing himself for his crimes. With time stretching out infinitely, how could he possibly atone? He knew without a doubt that if he could do it again, he would act differently. That is, provided he knew what he knew now. Unfortunately, he knew himself too well, and if the same situation was to be replayed, he would probably act the same. Well, that was fine. He would live and thrive until Kagome's era, and then he would find her. Of course, he wasn't quite sure how to go about things. He certainly couldn't upset the future when he was there because it still would be the future…

Oh, it was all very confusing. He knew he wouldn't be able to just find Kagome and talk to her. Not before she got dragged into the well – if she saw him before, it might affect the past when she travelled there. And if he came to her before she married Inuyasha… well, that was a better idea. But he wasn't sure how he felt about that. Certainly, he wasn't about to hug his brother or anything, but after experiencing so many emotions and different sides of the story, how could he ignore his younger brother? Could he really take away the one thing Inuyasha had over him? Especially when he saw what it did the first time… Well, he would get to that part when he came to it. All he knew now was that when he finally saw Kagome again, face-to-face, he would make sure she knew how much he regretted his past. And more importantly, how he wanted to change their future together.

Unfortunately, he had the knowledge that Kagome would indeed marry Inuyasha. It had happened here, and there would be no point in stopping the future wedding. And he also knew that Inuyasha would become human, wishing away the Shikon no Tama forever, and sealing the well so that neither he nor Kagome could come back to the Sengoku Jidai ever again. All these things, he knew, would keep him busy for the next couple of hundred of years, as well as other things.

Already, he was protecting the village that Inuyasha once lived in; really, he could care less about the other humans. But he felt that if Kagome would want one thing, it would be for her family here, in this Era, to be looked after. So he stayed near the village that slowly became Edo, then Tokyo, watching for youkai, although it seemed that there weren't many around. It looked like his foolish brother's reputation preceded him; most demons didn't dare set foot on his own lands, so that left them the North and the South, or to travel to the Continent. Funny, how even though they hadn't planned it that way, the brothers had united and protected a whole region.

After ten years, Rin and Kohaku had finally had a child – a boy. They had named him 'Gin', to his dismay. He still checked on Rin and Kohaku, and although she still held a grudge against him, she could never keep him out of her life; she owed him so much and would always think of him as her father. According to her, the newborn needed a name that gave tribute to her own father, the terrible and great Taiyoukai of the West. Hence came the name that meant 'silver', since she was quite fond of his hair.

He didn't speak with Miroku and Sango but he did look out for them and watched as their family expanded and grew. After their firstborn, they had another boy, and then twin girls that the couple had approximately a year before Rin had her first. But the surprise came years later, when Gin, at fourteen years old, proposed to Yuki, one of the fair-skinned daughters of the monk and demonslayer. It was a grand celebration when years later, the two came together, uniting the two families.

He gradually made himself less and less known; by the time Gin and Yuki's children began having children, he kept clear altogether. After all, his Rin had finally succumbed to old age, and her mate followed soon after. The monk and demonslayer had perished several years before, in an outbreak of human illness. Regardless, things were changing, and if he was to survive, he needed to adapt. A century went by in an excruciatingly long epoch, because things hadn't changed much. Then the sixteen-hundreds swept by. Nothing of much interest to a Taiyoukai. Two hundred more years, and even though he was molding himself to the rules of humans, it didn't ease the pain in his heart or the ache he felt when he remembered _her_.

When the humans started using family names as well as just an individual name, he took one as well, although he had to change it every fifty years or so. Some time in the eighteenth century, he finally took to having a home, and although he could see the benefits in having one, still thought it was unnecessary. But he knew that one day, it would be. He had built it himself, Jaken having passed on of old age many years ago. He never expected the little demon to live as long as he; with his superior lineage, he would outlive many.

He was still abhorred by the idea of a trade. It seemed that most humans could not live without doing something: farming, fishing, artistry, politics. That hadn't changed, except that now it had become necessary. Whereas he remembered a time where you only needed to feed your family, now you needed to pay for protection. No matter where you lived, there was someone who would squeeze money from you. Once, they had attempted to force money from him. Once.

With absolutely no talent except killing, maiming, poisoning, and torture, he had no idea how he would procure these monies that humans were so fond of. He knew they were necessary – clothing, items for your home, and food were all things you had to purchase unless you made them yourself. He could feed himself with no problems – although he found that he needed to eat less and less as he aged – but if he ever needed to be under the guise that he ate human food, he would need to buy some. And that presented the problem. Every year, the humans depended more and more on money, and although they worked, it seemed that less and less was procured through their own sweat, as when you had to farm your own vegetables and weave your own clothing. But eventually, he started a few businesses that grew with time, and he found that he enjoyed the aspects of owning companies while others did the work. It allowed him to keep up his façade – if he didn't have to be there constantly, then he wouldn't seem like the all-powerful, barely-aging creature he was.

He had quite the shock when a far descendant of Kagome's friends and Rin – a boy that had been born with hauntingly familiar blue eyes – had decided he was going to take after his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather, Miroku. Mikos were practically powerless by now, but in this family, the holy blood still flowed strong. He watched from afar as the boy built a shrine near his families' home, a house that had been there for nearly two centuries and passed down. It was very near to the well and the Sacred Tree. The boy flourished there as the town's practicing monk, performing ceremonies and selling sutras to people as preventing wards. There were no youkai troubling Edo – they thought it was because of the powerful lineage of Miroku, not because an indebted Taiyoukai was keeping them safe – so there was no need for him to exorcise. He was very successful, and when he married and had children, his young niece took over the duties although he remained at the shrine. He traveled a bit, building a home in Shimane, a still-wild area that had mountains and fresh air.

Over the years, the shrine was rebuilt several times, expanding, growing, and becoming more beautiful. Many acres it covered, and included a good part of Inuyasha's forest. That family had adopted the name 'Higurashi', as well as some of the other descendants of Miroku, Sango, Rin, and Kohaku. The women were married off and took their husbands' names, but the men kept the family name, and because it housed Goshinboku and the well, Sesshoumaru was most diligent about keeping this particular family safe, as they were the direct descendants or Rin, Kohaku, Miroku, and Sango.

His own home, standing since the sixteenth century, was in the North, near Sapporo. It made more sense to be in his native Western Lands, but it crawled with humans, becoming quite popular. So he had moved to the North, where humans were more reluctant to live because of the extreme cold. The cold suited him, and the populations were to his liking. He rarely stayed there, only checking to see if his house still stood every decade or so. Besides, what was the point of him ruling the West when there were barely enough youkai in Nippon to defend them against?

It was here he fled to during the war with the Americans. He had been on the shrine grounds – the home covered several acres of forest and was on ground level – wandering in the woods near the house when the hair stood up on the back of his neck. He heard the distant sound of planes, which shouldn't have been unusual, but today gave him a spine-tingling sensation. Every inch of his skin was crawling, telling him to flee to his home in the North, but…

The mother had gone shopping, and the father was with patrons of the Shrine. Their one and only son was playing alone in his room. There would only be time to save one, and this tore at the demon. He wanted to save both, but he knew he was placing himself in danger as well. With speed that hadn't diminished one bit over the centuries, he raced into the house, grabbed the boy, and fled to his house.

He was half-way there when the earth shook as a bomb was dropped onto their homelands, and everywhere, there was chaos.

He found out later that the boy – he had never seen him in person, only knew of his existence – was named Katsuo, and had large eyes the color of thunderstorms. He was reminded strongly of a monk he had once known.

It happened that an angry man had come to the temple, blaming Buddha for the crime against Nippon. He had opened fire and killed Katsuo's mother, his father wounded but alive; if they hadn't returned, the man would have bled to death or burned in the fire. He had been right to remove the boy, although the threat was different. He hadn't known, but the Atom Bomb had destroyed homes and people far from Tokyo. But the people were confused and distraught, and took it out on each other. The crazed man had also started a fire that burned down much of Inuyasha's forest, the main house, and parts of the shrine, but the well house and Sacred Tree were untouched.

Sesshoumaru brought the boy home – he had taken well to Sesshoumaru's explanations – and had to face the grief he had brought upon the preteen. Katsuo had lost much, and on some days, blamed Sesshoumaru. Why hadn't he left him? Why hadn't he let him die with his family? The Taiyoukai was never one to offer words unless they were good, strong words, and so he said nothing. But he allowed the boy to cry into his kimono, and that, it seemed, was enough.

More out of well-being than of debt or duty, Sesshoumaru stayed with Katsuo and helped rebuild his home as his father recovered. The impure soil had to be cleansed, and after some time, they wound up rebuilding most of the shrine on high ground. The rest of the city was also consistently trying to make the ground flatter, more level, and so each year, the shrine was adding a steeper climb. They also lost acreage to politicians, builders, and overall land requests. The shrine became smaller, to both of their dismay.

Katsuo, a man of the holy sort, hadn't really tried to procure a wife. But with his light hair and grey eyes, he attracted them. But it wasn't good enough for his father, who was becoming older and greyer; Katsuo had him move in, since the aging man was carrying on so much. He insisted that the Higurashi name be carried on, and tried to set up Katsuo on several dates. Sesshoumaru, who had been trying to distance himself once more from the family, returned to his home in the North.

In his absence, Katsuo had more time to think. One day, he found himself walking through the shopping district. He met a young woman there who was trying desperately to get the police to release a young boy accused of stealing. She offered to pay for whatever it was, and they let the boy go. Intrigued, Katsuo approached the woman.

"Why did you do that?"

He looked curious, not angry. So she answered. "Compassion is the greatest and hardest emotion to master."

He was stunned, not only by her words, but by her beauty. She had large brown eyes, and hair of the same color that waved down her back. But most amazing was her smile. So generous, it seemed that it welcomed anyone. He thought he could die happy if he could wake up next to that smile for the rest of his life.

He courted her, and they were married a year later. Katsuo had told his wife of the mysterious youkai that had helped him that day so many years ago, and they agreed an invitation was necessary. Sesshoumaru went to the wedding, although he remained hidden in the trees, only leaving his gift of thousands of yen. They seemed happy, and that was enough for him.

The biggest surprise came two years later, when the announcement arrived at his home that the couple would be having their first child. There would be a private ritual, and his presence was requested. He rolled his golden eyes at the silly notion, but he thought it wouldn't hurt, and agreed. The day came when he was called at his home to come to the shrine on the next day – the ceremony would be in the afternoon. He set out immediately, opting for taking the train so to appear normal, and arrived a few hours later. But he was unprepared for what he was going to see.

He walked into the home, and his eyes zeroed in on the bundle in Katsuo's arms. The baby, obviously a girl from the pink blanket, had brilliant black hair and wide blue eyes.

"Welcome, Sesshoumaru-sama," Katsuo said, a huge grin on his face. "I would like to introduce my daughter, Kagome."

~~~~~%~~

Kagome chatted happily with her mother as they cleaned up the dinner they had made and shared with the family. Inuyasha was on the sofa, playing Souta's newest video game, with her younger brother giving pointers. Her grandfather had gone upstairs to sleep. It seemed like every year, he was going to bed earlier and earlier.

"Kagome," her mother said quietly, "you never told me what brought all this on. Why did Inuyasha become human? I thought you liked him as a hanyou?"

Kagome understood her mother's concern. After all, she had wondered about this too. But with Inuyasha, sometimes you had to look behind the words to find the actual meaning. 

"Well, he told me it had to do with making me happy. He said that he needed to be human for us to be happy together, like when we go out. But… that's not the real reason, I think." Her mother was watching her, allowing her to continue. "I think it's because…" Kagome blushed, not wanting to share the details of her love life with her mother, of all people. Her mother had the decency to turn back to the dish she was soaping. Kagome sighed. "I think it's because when we were… _together_… he might have sensed that my mind was… elsewhere."

Ah. She wasn't stupid. She knew exactly what it meant. She had seen both brothers. The resemblance, although very different, was also very similar. The golden eyes, the silver hair. It was enough to keep Kagome sad. So Inuyasha had sacrificed his power, and gave up his demonic heritage, to become someone that wouldn't remind Kagome of Sesshoumaru. In a brief fit of rage, the older woman cursed whatever gods had deemed it necessary for these two particular brothers to fall in love with her daughter. The anger subsided quickly – anger was never a large part of her soul – and she knew that despite all the heartache, Kagome couldn't be in better hands. Both brothers loved her immensely and would do anything for her, whether it was staying with her family for centuries or becoming someone you weren't born as. She just wished it wasn't hurting her daughter so damned much. And she was very grateful that Sesshoumaru was taking his promise seriously, that he would not reveal himself until the right time. But… when was the right time? As it were, it didn't seem like he would ever be able to show his face, unless he wanted to crush the poor girl.

"Hm, I see. Well, it seems he cares for you very much," she told her daughter. She was relieved that the younger woman, blissfully oblivious, had no idea that the statement could be applied to both men.

Kagome smiled. "Yes, he does," she agreed.

~~~~~%~~

"Man, Kagome, I can't believe how powerful you've gotten," Inuyasha said as they strolled around the shrine grounds.

She shrugged, not really impressed with herself, but still feeling good that she could do so much for people.

"I don't really see it that way. I mean, I like helping people. And if this is what I have to do, then this is it."

They had been lucky. Those that she had healed – the old woman with the horrible gash and her daughter-in-law with cancer – had been discreet, only donating what they could to the shrine. Today, Kayo had called – it was a month later, and she had gone back to the doctor today for a follow-up – to tell her not only had the doctors been baffled by her 'miraculous' recovery, and to ask her permission to bring by a little boy that was stricken with her same disease, only in juvenile form.

Inuyasha had been furious – he didn't want to ever see Kagome in that position again, where she put her life in danger for another's – but Kagome was adamant. Not only would she be saving a life, but it was a child. Knowing she could give a young boy a new start was heartening. She told Kayo to bring the boy over when she was able.

The following day, they had just finished lunch when Kayo called from down the steps. Kagome sighed. It was times like this that she wished Inuyasha had not wished to be human; his hanyou strength would help right about now. But he was still strong, and although it took some time, they eventually got Kayo, the wheelchair, and the boy with his equipment up the towering shrine steps.

"Put me down, you big idiot!" the boy yelled in to Inuyasha's ear.

He was very tempted to do just that, although not so gently, when Kagome pinched his arm.

"Ow! Damn, woman!" he cried, frustrated that he couldn't even rub the spot since his arms were full with a skinny, sick seven year old.

"Tetsu, don't be rude. Kagome-chan is going to help you," Kayo admonished gently.

He pouted and crossed his arms, but listened. Kagome chuckled.

"Tetsu, is it?" Kagome approached the boy, holding out a hand. He eyed it warily and nodded.

"Okay, Tetsu-chan. So, why don't you tell me a little about yourself?"

She nodded minutely to Inuyasha, who glared at her but began to put the boy down gently. Once he was standing, Inuyasha let go completely, but the boy wavered. Inuyasha couldn't help feeling guilty as he steadied the boy with his hands, but Tetsu smacked at him. Kagome giggled, and he smiled at the sound. Then the cancer-stricken boy, his choppy, liver-colored hair in his eyes, began to speak.

The anger was clear in his voice, but he spoke quietly. "My name is Tetsugumi, but everyone calls me Tetsu." He looked at Kayo, who smiled gently. "I was diagnosed with a type of bone cancer when I was two. I've been fighting it, but I've stopped responding to treatments." He looked away, and Kagome could see the pain in his dark, almost black eyes. "I stopped chemo a while ago, which is why I have hair, unlike her," he said, smiling as he nodded in Kayo's direction. "But I have to stay at the hospital, 'cause my family can't afford to have me at home with all this stuff." He raised his arm, as if to accentuate the point with the trailing tubes that ran from his arm to the pole that Kagome still held in her hands.

They were all quiet for a moment, and then he smiled, but it was a dark, ominous grin. "I was gonna ask them – my parents – to take me to a baseball game for my final wish."

Kagome's eyes began to water, and she couldn't help but wrap her arms gingerly around the fragile yet strong boy. He tried to push her off at first, but she clung as if her life depended on it, and he relented.

"I'm so sorry, Tetsu," she whispered.

He shrugged.

"You don't need to be so strong, you know," she continued. "It's okay to cry. You have been through so much, things that no one – especially a child – deserves to go through." She was stroking his hair now, but he was resisting, pulling away from her. But she held fast. "And I'm going to do what I can for you. So it's okay to cry." He still attempted to get away, and now, she let him.

He didn't look at her. "Kayo's just in remission. There's nothing you can do for me," he said stubbornly.

He reminded her so much of Inuyasha that she laughed. Stubborn boys.

He turned to look at her, accusation and disbelief writ plain across his face. He raised an eyebrow, sending her into a rolling laughter. No one else caught on, so she laughed while the other three stared on.

"What's up with her?" Tetsu asked Inuyasha.

Inuyasha shrugged, but it was a defeated sort of shrug, as if there was always something wrong with the priestess and she wasn't to be trusted to committing to one particular emotional state.

When Kagome was under control, she clapped her hands together, her smile bright. "Okay! Let's get to it!"

Tetsu eyed her warily. Inuyasha brought the wheelchair close for him to step into, and when the boy wasn't paying attention, he bumped him from behind, making Tetsu fall into the seat. Kayo and Kagome both gasped at his treatment, but Tetsu just turned to glare. Inuyasha chuckled to himself and wheeled the boy towards the house, Kagome scurrying to catch up since she was in charge of the attached I.V. Tetsu turned to Kagome.

"Jeez, you married this guy?"

Kagome only smiled in response, wondering if Tetsu would fall in love with a girl like herself one day. She only hoped the girl would love him back.

Once they were just outside the wooden sliding door that opened to the kitchen, they stood – except Tetsu, who remained in the chair – in a circle. Kagome allowed Kayo to remove the boy's needle from his arm – he was fine with it, but threatened to 'flatten' her if he had to have another one put in later. The woman simply looked at him and smiled. She remembered a time when she, too, would have thought that life without cancer was impossible. It was a shame that this was all the boy knew of his life, which is why she had brought him to Kagome.

When she was done, she pushed the things aside and held the boy's hand, but Kagome instructed her not to. She wasn't sure how her power worked, and if some of it flowed to her, the boy might not get completely healed. It didn't make much sense, but Kagome didn't want to take any chances. She got ready, kneeling in front of the boy, and Inuyasha crouched protectively behind her, his arms spread as if he was about to catch her.

"What are you doing?" he asked Inuyasha, who only glared at the boy.

"It's for… after," Kagome told him, smiling sadly.

She hated losing consciousness, but it was worth it, to lift the fog of despair and hopelessness that this boy had known his entire life. She looked back at Inuyasha who nodded to her, and she took a deep breath. After letting it out, she set her features into pure determination, which scared the boy.

"Okay. I'm going to put my hands on you, and you'll feel…" here, she looked to Kayo, who smiled as she explained.

"Oh, a little tingly and warm, I'd say."

Kagome nodded and smiled. "Tingly and warm."

The boy eyed her warily, but didn't stop her when she reached out for his skin. She placed a hand on each frail arm, closed her eyes, and released.

The bright light encompassed them all, and in truth, they all felt a little warm and tingly. Except Kagome, who was sweating and light-headed from the exertion. She was stronger now, after a month of healing and finally having her appetite back. And this was why Inuyasha really couldn't say no. After a few late-night discussions with her mother, Inuyasha was convinced that what was healing Kagome's heart – and soul – was the healing of others' bodies. As she was fulfilled in her duty, her mind became clearer and she became happier. She would never be the same – not completely – but she was a hell of a lot better. And unless this killed her, she would be even happier tomorrow.

~~~~~%~~

Again, she woke in her bed. But it seemed like this time, only a few hours had passed. Either that, or she had just happened to wake up a few days and a few hours after. Inuyasha's wide smile, however, convinced her that it hadn't been too long at all.

"How long?" she asked, a little surprised at how cracked her voice was.

"Four hours," he answered, handing her a cup of cooling tea.

She drank greedily, and when it was gone, she thanked him. "And Tetsu?"

Inuyasha laughed. "You'll never believe." There was a sparkle to his eye that not only gave Kagome hope, but lifted her spirits. She leaned towards him in her anxiety to know. He chuckled. "He's outside…" He watched her face fall, her eyes going to the cup she held in her lap. "He's outside… playing soccer with Souta."

Kagome's eyes shot to his, her mouth dropping open. "He's… playing… what?!"

Inuyasha laughed heartily. "Soc-cer," he said slowly, as if to a mentally handicapped person.

She slapped him playfully on his chest, then ran to the window. And there, she saw the beginning of a new life.

~~~~~%~~

He had stayed for a while, but eventually, Kayo had to take him back to the hospital, since they were expecting him back. But she had called his parents and told them everything, and they were eager to see for themselves. As they hugged, the tears came, both for Kagome and Tetsu.

"Kagome, I…" A sob cut him short, and he realized he really didn't know what to say.

Her tears were the happy sort, and she hugged the boy fiercely. "Tetsu, promise me something?"

He wondered at her nervous tone. "What?"

"Promise me that you'll visit every once in a while?"

He chuckled. "Sure thing, Kagome."

Inuyasha smiled as he watched them. He marveled at the way Kagome made life-long friends. His thoughts turned to the family they had left behind in the Feudal Era, and it wiped the grin off his face. After a few more moments, the two separated.

Tetsu turned to Inuyasha suddenly with a fierce expression. The boy wasn't stupid – he knew that the couple had something slightly off about them. Like there was a sort of one-sided devotion to them. Coming from the husbands' side. He didn't like it. He could see that Kagome was a beautiful woman, but seemed sadder than she should be. But he also knew that grown-ups had their problems – like how mom and dad had money problems – and he couldn't say too much.

Inuyasha saw the boy's resolve and wondered what was going on. He had gone from playful to crying to… this. It was like another Kagome, but in boy form. He frowned, knowing the boy was about to speak.

"Listen. Kagome is… special. Just…" He paused, sighing. He wasn't sure what to say. It was obvious the man loved Kagome, but he didn't know how to get the point across to keep her happy. "I guess there isn't anything I can say. 'Bye."

And after Kayo said her farewells, it was once again only their family. Kayo would explain the importance of secrecy and Kagome was sure he would be a good friend to them.

~~~~~%~~

He remembered that it had been hard. How could he have been so naïve? He should have realized it when the descendants of Rin's family and Miroku's family began to make their home around Goshinboku. He should have realized it when a boy in the family with bright blue eyes built a shrine there. And then, it hit him – hard – when he had to stare into the same blue eyes he had fallen in love with, although they were only a day old. Oh, how he had wished he had known what Kagome's family name had been. He had wished she had shown him a picture of her parents. But there was nothing to be done now.

So one day, before she was old enough to remember him, Sesshoumaru came to the Higurashi shrine, and told Kagome's parents of her future. He told them of how the two had met, and how they had fallen in love. He was fair, telling them also that when she became fifteen, she would fall into the well and also into love – with his brother.

It took hours to explain the whole back story up to this point – leaving out the more, er, intimate parts - but he finally came to the peak of the tale; it hurt to tell of his loss, and he was shamed to tell of his pride. Katsuo knew the demon well and accepted the story, although he was not fond of the outcome. Kagome's mother, however, was not as supportive. She was angry that this youkai's pride would hurt her daughter so much and that she wouldn't be able to warn her so as to keep her from that pain. But the fear of changing the present was too much, and they both swore they would never tell Kagome that they knew of her future. Equally, he swore that he would stay out of her life until the right moment. If ever it seemed she truly needed him, he would be all too happy to replace himself in her life. But until then, he would only watch over her from a distance. Katsuo's father was given minimal details; he knew Sesshoumaru was a demon, but he was given no details of the future.

Now he was here yet again, those same hard, angry, chocolate-brown eyes glaring at him.

"Sesshoumaru, you can't keep doing this. With all due respect, she doesn't need you. She's finally getting better, and she's going to have to use her powers occasionally to heal people. If you love her, you will not let her find out about you. Inuyasha may not be able to sense you any longer, but that doesn't mean he will act kindly if he knows you are here."

What could he say? That there was an inescapable pull towards her whenever her powers flared so strongly? That his youki was telling him that there was something wrong with Kagome and that he had to come? She wouldn't understand these things. But he knew she understood his love for her – the pity in her eyes told him that much.

"I had to come."

She sighed. "I know. It's just that… If she hadn't accepted Inuyasha, I would have no quarrel with you coming here. But for her own reasons, she did. And that means that while the two of them are happy…" – he didn't miss the suspicious way her eyes darted from his face as she said this – " you cannot interfere. If she found out now that you were alive and here… Well, it would devastate her. And Inuyasha… Do you know why he wished upon the jewel?"

Rin had told him it was his brother's choice, but not why. By the look in the woman's eyes, he wasn't sure he wanted to know. He shook his head minutely as an answer.

"Because he reminded her so often of you. He sacrificed his life as a hanyou to make her happy, because she sacrificed herself to make him happy, as his bride."

Sesshoumaru wasn't the type to ever weep, but he felt the sudden urge to cry. Not that he actually would, he just felt like wanting to cry.

"Is she happy?" He hadn't dared to ask this question before. But now, the way the woman had said 'sacrificed'…

"She is… well."

The hesitation was enough. He knew the answer to the question. A growl began to rumble in his chest, his beast unsatisfied with the new knowledge. He took a step towards the entrance.

"Oh, no you don't," the stern woman said, her hand on the demon's chest. She frowned at him, knowing he was honorable enough not to enter without permission. "You may think you will be doing her good, but in the end, no one will be happy. Kagome will destroy Inuyasha, and no matter your past, you will hate yourself. And later, she will blame herself. I'm sorry, but you're going to have to let this play out. If, one day, she realizes she is unhappy and wants him to leave, then that will be different. But for now, you must let her be."

He knew she was right, but he still didn't like it. The idea that his now-mortal brother was touching her – and she was touching him – was enough to make him want to race up those stairs and take her away. But as her mother has clearly stated, it wasn't possible. She surprised him with her next statement.

Her head was hung low as she spoke, unable to meet his eyes. "We're leaving." She chanced a look at him once the words were out.

She was stunned by the show of emotion – he looked almost human, the way his wide eyes showed his apprehension and his brow wrinkled in surprise. "What I mean is, Souta is going off to a sports High School, and grandpa and I are going to Shimane."

This was new. He knew the simple country home of the Higurashi's, having followed them there during different generations. But it was usually used as a vacation home. Then again, with Katsuo's father so old and with nowhere to go, it would be the only place to go if Kagome was to inherit the shrine. But it was still a jolt; mother and daughter were very attached to each other, and he knew from experience that Kagome had inherited her fiery, emotional nature from her mother, which would make it even harder to separate the two. So why the change?

"Why?"

Now, she was more afraid than ever to tell him the truth, but what did it matter? He needed to know, and if she was honest with herself, she wanted him to suffer a little for the pain he had inflicted in the past with his prideful, selfish nature. Quickly, she retracted her thoughts. No, it was wrong to blame him. He is a different creature with a different upbringing. And he had truly loved Kagome. He had suffered enough. But he still deserved to know. She only hoped he would keep to his promise to stay away.

"To give them… privacy."

She didn't hear him leave. But she imagined it had been too much for him; she knew it would be too painful to continue a conversation, let alone stay for a farewell.

As she closed the door, she wondered if she would ever see the demon she had known her entire adult life again.

~~~~~%~~

Time had gone by so quickly – too quickly – that Kagome didn't have time to adjust to the idea that her entire family was leaving. How would she survive without her mother's cooking? How would she cope without her brother's constant teasing? And if she had to, she would even admit she would miss her grandfather's ramblings.

The ceremony was short to her, but she remembered that her own was similar; after all, Souta graduated from the same Middle School that she had. Soon, they were at the shrine celebrating. There were many fifteen year olds there, and Inuyasha had problems with a few of the boys that had an eye on his wife's legs.

Even married and recovering from depression, Kagome could attract men. She was wearing normal clothes – a pleated pink skirt with a white oxford shirt – since the shrine was closed for the family's celebration. And Inuyasha's face formed a permanent scowl for the rest of the evening as the young boys continuously took turns dancing with Kagome, who didn't have the heart to turn them down. It was Souta who finally shooed them away, when he realized what was happening.

Surprisingly, there were a fair amount of girls there. Souta was a handsome boy, and his funny, charming nature paired with his natural athletic ability made for a good catch in the young girls' eyes. Kagome was defensively grateful that he was going to a high school that was almost completely made up of boys. But the ones here were very nice – she was pleased that Souta kept himself in good company, for the most part. It even seemed like one in particular was his girlfriend. He returned to her constantly and she seemed sad. Kagome made a mental note to ask her brother about the girl later.

When it was said and done, the kids said their goodbyes and wished Souta luck. Kagome didn't remember seeing the sad girl leave, and suddenly noticed Souta missing, too. She snuck to the grand staircase and saw them there, at the bottom. He held her, and she seemed to be crying. After a few moments, he spoke into her ear, and they kissed. Kagome felt ashamed spying on her brother, so she returned to the house with a sly smile on her face. Oh yes, Souta would have some 'splainin' to do.

Grandfather had gone to bed hours ago, citing a dislike of the abundant youth and noise. Kagome and her mother busied themselves cleaning up, and Inuyasha helped by bringing down the decorations and putting away the tables and chairs. No one said anything when Souta trudged mournfully into the house an hour later. They all knew what was going on, but no one wanted to say anything; they let him stomp up the stairs and close his door harder than was necessary.

Inuyasha wanted to say something, but he often lacked the tact to speak about matters of the heart, no matter how he had changed. The women both stopped him from such a travesty. Kagome told her mother she would speak with him; the one thing the siblings could always do together was talk. They finished up a few minutes later, and Kagome's mother retired for the night.

Inuyasha had made himself comfortable on the sofa some time ago, and Kagome joined him there. He was watching the news, and Kagome allowed herself to loose herself in other peoples' problems for a while, lifting her legs and draping them over Inuyasha's lap. When the news was over, Inuyasha settled on flipping through the channels until he found a suitable show as Kagome got up. She kissed his forehead as she passed and he listened to her light footsteps on the wooden stairs. But as he suspected, they didn't go all the way down the hall to their room. Instead, they stopped shortly after reaching the top; she had passed the master bedroom – her mother's – and stopped at the second room. Souta's room.

Kagome knocked tentatively on the thin wooden door. There was a slight chance that he was asleep, but if he was anything like her – and really, he wasn't, except when it came to matters of the heart – he would still be awake, tormenting himself with 'what-ifs' and 'buts'. After a few moments, Kagome was about to turn away when Souta opened the door a few inches. He looked wary at first, but when he saw it was his sister, he opened it all the way.

He looked like crap. He probably looked ten shades better than she had when she first came back to this time. Of course she couldn't be sure, since she didn't look in a mirror for the first six months she was there. Keeping any pity from her face, she wrapped an arm around her brother's shoulders, leading him back to his bed. They both sat, and Kagome took a hand in between both of hers.

"You know, you don't have to go," she said after a few moments of silence.

He didn't speak at first, but then he looked up from their entwined hands with a look of determination. "I wanted this Kagome. For me to one day be able to marry Suki and support her…"

He looked away, embarrassed, as if he had said too much. Kagome smiled knowingly. "But you don't want to leave her."

He looked to her again, capturing her eyes with his tortured brown ones, so like their mother's. "God, it's killin' me, Kagome. Now I know how you…" Again, he turned away, this time worried that he had made his sister upset.

A corner of her mouth lifted in a humorless half-smile. After a few moments, he looked back to her. "Can I… ask you something?"

"S-sure," he said, a little dubious.

"I…" She released his hand, not only for his sake, but for hers. She was afraid to ask; she was afraid of his answer. In reality, she was pretty sure she knew what he would say. "I wanted to know… how deeply you care for um, Suki, was it?"

He smiled sardonically and answered, "She's my Juliet."

Kagome nodded quickly and left, holding back the tears until she got to her room. Later, Inuyasha was surprised to find her on her bed, her knees tucked into her chest and facing the wall. Looks like it's gonna be one of those nights.

The next day, the family bustled – except for grandpa – in preparation of Souta's departure. Kagome had begged him to stay – the trip could wait, since school didn't start for a few more weeks – but Souta had insisted, since he hated goodbyes and it would make leaving that much harder. So he made plans with the school to move in the day after graduation, citing a plan to start training earlier. With a heavy air, he packed his clothes, and Kagome helped her mother pack some food. Inuyasha carried some of the bags, and Souta carried the rest, and the whole family trekked to the train station.

At the school, which was virtually empty, they helped him unpack and settled him in the room that someone else would eventually move into as his roommate. They talked for a while, but the atmosphere was too somber, and eventually they had to go, leaving Souta to his new life.

Because there was nothing else for her to do, Kagome's mother began packing as soon as they got home. Jii-chan packed his meager belongings, and they were both finished by dinnertime. In the middle of their meal, Kagome was shocked to hear her mother say they were leaving tomorrow for Shimane. Like the entire first half of the day, the air was thick with sadness, like a fog. Kagome wanted to cut through it, but she knew that even Tessaiga wouldn't hold out for long; the odd thing about a thick mist was that even if you cleared a small path ahead of you, the fog would roll right back inwards, again cloaking you in shrouds.

When they had all finished their supper, everyone stayed in the kitchen. The heavy knowledge that it would be their last official dinner together weighed down the air. Even Jii-chan stayed, which was unusual. He usually went to bed soon after.

Kagome and her mother cleaned up in silence, and Inuyasha watched both of them busy themselves, their body language tense. When they were done, it seemed like they all stared at one another. Finally, Kagome's grandfather – unable to hold it any longer – yawned deeply, causing everyone to start laughing. It was a relief, and the air seemed to lift along with their spirits. Grandpa excused himself, and soon his daughter-in-law followed. Kagome settled next to Inuyasha on the sofa, something that was becoming habit simply because she didn't want to be alone. Eventually, she fell asleep, and Inuyasha carried her upstairs carefully, her healthier weight a little harder for him to handle. She didn't wake up until the next morning, however, but it was then that she wished she hadn't woken up.

Kagome, having not been to the country home since she was very young, insisted on going. Besides, she didn't remember the way, and she needed to know, just in case. So the four of them boarded the plane and again, there was a heavy air as they unpacked and spoke. The atmosphere was fragile, like it could become solid, fall, and shatter at any moment.

When they were back home, Kagome wanted to cry. The house felt unbearably empty, and she knew that she should be hearing her mother clanging around in the kitchen and her grandfather mumbling about this scandal or that holiday festival. Yesterday, she hadn't felt Souta's absence if she didn't think about it, but now she missed his laughter; his voice was beginning to change, and his awkward chuckles had become endearing to her.

She had to face it – she was stuck here, alone, with Inuyasha.

She knew it wouldn't be all bad. She didn't mind taking care of him; she had lots of practice with less hospitable supplies. But the fact that he was her only company… how would she get by? She clung to the knowledge that her whole family would be returning for her birthday the week after Souta started school. And she would still have to take care of the shrine; hopefully, that would keep her mind occupied.

So she spent her days with worshippers, giving advice and saying prayers, and her nights with her husband. She cooked three times a day, and cleaned when she found time. He was in charge of the grounds, cutting grass, trimming bushes, and sweeping the floors of the shrine. After dinner, they would curl up on the couch together and watch TV, except for Kagome's bad days, in which case she would go straight to her room – she had refused to move in to her mother's room – and Inuyasha would give her space, playing Souta's video games; he was unable to bring them to school, so they remained at home.

Sometimes, on Kagome's good days, they would have sex. The contact and intimacy was good for Kagome, but she was often left feeling unsatisfied, and felt it wasn't in her to tell Inuyasha how to please her when he had already given up so much to make her happy. So she obliged when he wanted her, and she made sure he was happy. And while she wasn't unhappy, she wasn't happy either. She refused to think of the reasons, but sometimes – albeit rarely – that reason would reassert himself in her dreams. And she was reminded of why she wasn't the fiery, brilliant light she used to be.

----------END CHAPTER------------

E/N: Please, forgive me for whatever historical atrocities I've committed. I'm lazy, and didn't feel like looking up actual facts from WWII. I DO know it was Hiroshima and surrounding areas that were bombed, but the point was that Sesshoumaru felt danger, even it was far away. I needed to make certain things come true, so I twisted history for my and my story's benefit. Know this: if it sounds wrong, assume I made it up.

I also want to give a shout-out to the lovely and talented oxrosesthornxo (AKA xbitternessx), who penned – in my opinion – the best Alternate Universe InuKag story EVER, Savvy. For you InuKag fans, if you haven't read it, you need to. I got by all these InuKag scenes by rereading that story, because ultimately, I prefer Sesshoumaru with Kagome. But Savvy is so simple and sweet and intriguing that I loved it, and it's great inspiration for writing scenes with the canon pairing. I know you can find it on MediaMiner, and I believe on as well.


	16. XVI

A/N: I'm getting there. I know you are all VERY (that's right, all caps, since you guys are screaming at me) anxious to see Sesshoumaru again. But it's gonna be a little longer. Why? Because once he shows up, there isn't a whole lot left to the story. So really, unless you want the story to be over, you shouldn't be begging for his return. Don't worry, I know how you feel. You'll see him one day, and you'll love me again, I promise. Well, maybe not right away… Also – please keep in mind that I try to be very canon, and therefore only go by the manga. So later, when you're asking 'what about…', remember that although I love the 3rd Inuyasha movie very much (Sesshy galore!) it didn't actually happen.

I want to address a reader on Dokuga, since I can't respond directly. **Aurora Antheia Raine**, YOU ROCKED MY SOCKS. Seriously, I've been feeling pretty bad about myself with this story, and then you came along. You completely understand the story like no one else, and you totally made my year. Don't worry that the year just started – your review (and by the way, I LOVE long reviews, so don't sweat it) will last me throughout 2009. And I'm actually glad you dislike the InuKag goings-on. This story was meant for the SessKag lovers, and the reaction was supposed to be, "WHAT?! THEY CAN'T BE TOGETHER!" But don't be afraid to tell me if something feels off – I'm pretty good about constructive criticism. I was so impressed by your comprehension of the story that I don't even think FanArt could make me feel this good. And that's saying something. *wink* (I would have addressed this earlier, but this is the chapter I was working on when I received the comment.)

Again, the perfect soundtrack to Sesshoumaru's thoughts. I recommend it highly. As usual, I wanted to put more in, but I refrained.

"_I dreamed I was missing._

_You were so scared._

_But no one would listen,_

'_Cause no one else cared._

_After my dreaming,_

_I woke with this fear._

_What am I leaving,_

_When I'm done here?_

_So if you're asking me, I want you to know…_

_When my time comes,_

_Forget the wrong that I've done._

_Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed._

_Don't resent me;_

_And when you're feeling empty,_

_Keep me in your memory._

_Leave out all the rest…_

_Leave out all the rest." – _Leave Out All The Rest, Linkin Park

That's the Way Love Goes

Chapter XVI

She had taken to meditating. She was never fond of yoga and such, but she had seen Miroku do poses before, and he was so serene. Well, other than his hatred for Naraku or anything else that posed a threat to Sango or their friends. But when they weren't fighting, he seemed to be able to cope with his situation best. Never mind that he had been keeping the secret that he was dying from them all for a few weeks. In the end, it had worked out. And he had kept up his Buddhist ministrations into the two years after, when she was there. He probably still did them now.

It happened that an old man – a friend of her grandfather's – had come to the shrine. He was a holy man, and when he saw Kagome, he took her away from Inuyasha to tell her that she had to do something about her spirit. It was restless, and angry.

Funny, she didn't feel angry.

He promised to teach her to meditate, and he would come in the mornings. Inuyasha was bored with just the idea of meditation, so he would look for things to do while she sat in the rising sun with the old man, and they built a routine. Of course, he was a little too old for the job, and the shrine steps took its' toll on him. He was in good shape, but she knew that even her grandfather took some time to get up and down them, and he rarely did even that. So once she had the routine memorized, the man let her continue on her own, and she made him promise to call.

She couldn't believe the difference it made in her life. She cleared her mind, and it was easier to think about her apparent anger afterwards. She realized, as the weeks passed, that she was actually quite angry. With everyone. Her heart never felt so black in her life. That must have been what the elderly man said about her spirit being restless – she needed to come to terms with the anger.

She was upset with her family for leaving. She wasn't ready to let go of them quite yet. Only when she had found true love and happiness had she begun to think that she just might not need them as much anymore. Those times were gone.

She was angry with Inuyasha, for not consulting her about the jewel beforehand – his wish affected her as much as he, so why hadn't she the right to know? She had loved him – once – as a hanyou, and didn't want him to change. She knew she was no Kikyou, but that's what she felt like. And now… she hated to admit it, but… Inuyasha just wasn't as much fun as a human. She had been intrigued on nights of the New Moon, but that's as much of Inuyasha's human side she could take. And he was not only defenseless now, but was aging. She wouldn't see it for many years to come, but she knew that he was. And that made her feel like he had cheated himself. He wasn't born to live eighty years, he was born to live… well, however long hanyou live. And then there was the biggest sacrifice – the well no longer worked. She badly wanted to see Sango and Rin, and their families. She wondered if Kohaku and Rin – both so young – had started a family yet. She wondered if Kaede had replaced her yet. But she would never know.

Of course, it took her a very long time – over six months of meditation – to realize that she was furious with Sesshoumaru. In the beginning, she had told herself it wasn't his fault. He had regained his memories, and of course, freaked out when he realized what was going on. Obviously, he had both sets of memories, and the newer ones didn't make him as happy as he had been. She made excuses for him, and she cried over the loss of him. She cried for Rin, too, who was banished for no good reason except that Sesshoumaru apparently didn't think straight when he was very upset. And he had never looked so cold, so frightening, as he did that winter morning. His eyes had chilled her to the bone in a way that the winds couldn't.

Once she began meditating, however, she found that – _you know what? I am friggin' pissed at him!_ She stripped away the excuses and the sympathy, and found that even though she couldn't blame him in the beginning for sending them away, she did blame him for not being man enough to step away from his own fears. She didn't know much about the former Sesshoumaru, but she knew that he didn't want to be like his father, in respect to human women. As a matter of fact, he seemed to have an aversion to women in general. Sure, he had saved her a couple of times, but that was probably more his growing compassion rather than any affinity for females.

She knew that deep down inside was that changed Sesshoumaru. His circumstances growing up had made him cruel and methodical, only seeking power. But when he had forgotten who he was, a different creature was born. She had seen that he was capable of love, mutual respect, compassion, and consideration. And when he had 'woken up', that same information had frightened him. He didn't understand that he only quested for power because of his experiences as a growing Taiyoukai. He didn't understand that – had he a loving mother like Izayoi, or had his father not died – he might have grown up a different way. Not so ruthless. A little more caring.

Once she had to sort it all through, Kagome found that she wasn't quite so angry anymore. There were no pity parties, because she spoke to no one of her revelations. She accepted that although she had not been ready to let go of her family, they had been ready to move on. She believed that Inuyasha had thought he was making the right choice, and even though he had no right to it, as she was the guardian of the jewel, she decided that what was done was done, and she would never feel better until she realized that she had to live with his decision. Lastly – and it was the hardest part – she needed to forgive Sesshoumaru. That took the entire six months. In the beginning, she hadn't wanted to forgive him. She wanted to hate him. But it was getting her nowhere. Who would she be if she couldn't forgive the man she loves? And that was the crux of it. Despite everything, despite the pain, the crying, the heartbreak, and the fear, she still loved him. And if she didn't admit it to herself and force herself to realize that that was the real reason she was angry – the man she loved rejected her so freely – she would be angry forever. So she forgave him.

After that, she was unstoppable.

Her mood lifted considerably. She had more energy, returned to her normal weight, and hummed when she was cleaning or cooking. The one healing she had done – she had been on the way to the market when a boy's foot got stuck in a drain and twisted his ankle – had taken so little energy that she hardly felt drained at all. Of course, Inuyasha thought himself to be the cause of the Return of the Old Kagome, and Kagome, now more forgiving than ever, let him. He had lost many things too, in his quest to make her happy, so she wouldn't spoil it.

The only downside to that was that his appetite for her had grown, and although she enjoyed the sex, she was very often feeling unfulfilled. And if she was going to spend the rest of her life with him, she was going to have to tell him. And she didn't want to hurt him – he thought he was doing a pretty decent job. In truth, he was. It wasn't his fault that he didn't know about the female orgasm. Then again, it made it easy for her – she didn't have to 'fake it', as she had heard on TV or from friends. But did it really matter, anyways?

It had been her fate to get pulled into a well at fifteen and fall in love for the first time. It had been her destiny to return the Shikon no Tama to its' former glory and rid the world of Naraku in the process. But when all of that was over… She hadn't belonged anywhere. She had done everything she was meant to do. Her purpose had been to purify Maghatsuhi – the collective evil inside the jewel, the mass of demon's souls that had been battling with Midoriko when she created the jewel – and then get rid of the damned thing.

But she had been selfish. All this time, she had been upset with Inuyasha for taking into his hands what she had been afraid to do, but really, he had saved her from another dilemma. She was being selfish, and hadn't recognized it. Had she gotten it over with, she might have been stuck in Inuyasha's time. She would have missed her family, but who knows? She would have never gotten to know Sesshoumaru, married Inuyasha, and perhaps had children. She wouldn't have gone through all that pain, and she would have a new life, filled with friends.

But her own selfishness had prevented her from seeing that. It was probably better that Inuyasha had made the wish, because her heart was pure no longer. Her selfishness would have left the tiniest amount of darkness in the jewel, and who knows what would have happened? Apparently, Inuyasha had made the right wish, and he was fine. Sometimes she worried – the wish to become human was sacrificial, but he was doing it to benefit himself in the long run. There didn't seem to be any repercussions – would there be? – but it was enough to keep her occupied when she thought about it.

The worst part of it all was that she realized how very, very stupid she had been. How could she agree to marry Inuyasha? She realized now that this was one of the reasons she had been so depressed – she really hadn't wanted to marry him, when her heart ached for someone else. She should have told him 'no'. Then he would be living – as a hanyou – in his time, not stuck here as a shrine worker as a human. But she had needed him so much. He made her feel needed and wanted. She hadn't realized at the time that this was all she wanted – if she had, she could have had any man take care of her. But they had a history, and Inuyasha was devoted to her, so how could she have refused? _Easy_, she told herself. _No. See? That wasn't so hard_. But even so, she couldn't imagine actually doing it. He would have been crushed beyond belief – could she really have done that to him?

She doubted it. But she should have done it. If… Well, there were a lot of 'what ifs'. And in the end, she had made herself miserable, stuck with a man that she loved, but was not in love with. And he had no idea.

Really, there was no one else to blame but herself. And that was unforgivable, no matter how enlightened she was these days.

~~~~~%~~

Through the centuries, the worst part was remembering.

He tried not to think about it – not because of any lingering doubts, but because it was too hard, knowing what he had let go of. Dreams would wake him; sometimes, they were the very same dreams of his own memories. Many times, he dreamed of the time he had rescued her from Inuyasha. Mostly, he dreamed only snippets: he would wake up remembering her scent, or the warmth of her pressed against him. Of course then he would wake up cursing himself.

He found, though, as time went on, that those memories helped him live on. What else did he have? Possessions meant nothing, and he felt no need to conquer – he had surpassed his father, and now that he had, there was nothing left to want. Except Kagome.

One day, as he allowed Gin to crawl all over him, he remembered what happened right after their little 'accident'. He had protected her fiercely, crouching low over her helpless form as she lay unconscious; Jaken hadn't been a threat, but he hadn't known. He chuckled, remembering. Then he had cared for her, washing away the blood. He had even adorned her with his kimono, lest she travel naked.

Once, after both of the families she had left behind died, he remembered how happy she had been that Kohaku and Rin loved each other. She was like a proud mother, finding the perfect match for her daughter. She had been worried, too. Afraid that he would not approve. In truth, had he been his normal self, he probably would have not allowed such a young relationship to blossom. But Kagome had known that this was normal for humans – she could not wait until she was fifty to be betrothed, as Taiyoukai often did. His trust in the miko had let him see the truth; the two loved each other, and it was a fine match.

One day, when Edo had changed its' name to Tokyo, he had stopped dead in his tracks on a street. He chuckled to himself, unable to hold it back after remembering how Kagome had slapped him when she woke up. She had been just as surprised in that moment as he had when he finally regained his memories – right before it turned to anger and disgust. Looking back, he realized that her sudden acquiescence could mean only one thing – she had thought she was either hallucinating, or dreaming. Stupid girl, he thought humorously. But nevertheless, she had allowed it. She accepted her 'dream' and went back to sleep. Again later, she had been alarmed – she couldn't have that same dream twice – and then they had to speak about it. He couldn't believe the amount of trust he had put in her back then. But, then again, Kagome was not a vengeful being.

Although, she had been quite upset with him when he had intruded on her bathing. He remembered his youki goading him, bringing him to her. He hadn't been able to resist. And when he had first tasted her… By the gods, in all his life, he hadn't gotten as much pleasure with any female as he had in just that one kiss with Kagome.

But no, that wasn't right.

Because when he had finally made love to her, that was the most pleasurable thing he had ever felt. He had felt so alive. Even his beast wanted her, and being that they were of two different species, that was saying a lot. It had started with her accidentally ingesting his blood, therefore taking in some of his youki. It had had a pronounced effect on both of them, and to this day, he had no idea what that effect was. And she had been the perfect lover, allowing him to dominate her, but not afraid of taking her own pleasure. And she had been oh so interested in pleasing him. She was, undoubtedly, the best lover he had had. There was no other that could compete. He could not even think of touching another woman without being disgusted and comparing her to Kagome. And so Sesshoumaru stayed faithful to the girl who married his brother.

Then there came a day – shortly after Kagome was born and he forced himself to stay away from her – when Sesshoumaru realized that in all these days since that fateful day, that he had no idea if Kagome would forgive him. She probably would have no idea he would be alive and here. Would she ever get over the wrongs he caused her? Did he want her to? Surely, he didn't deserve that. From the stories she had shared with him, he knew she had a great heart, capable of forgiving many. But after what he did?

Well, at least he hadn't been seeing someone else. And according to her, she had forgiven Inuyasha many times after proving again and again that he still cared for the undead priestess. He even remembered much of it himself – when he found Naraku shortly after the hanyou had killed the walking grave. Inuyasha had been furious, accusing him of not doing anything. He had been curious, at the time, why Inuyasha would want a body of clay that sustained itself with the souls of others when he had a living, breathing, beautiful miko at his side. But Inuyasha was rash and young. He hadn't cared about it at the time. Now, he knew the honor that was at stake on his brother's behalf, although he wouldn't have blamed Inuyasha if the boy had simply let things be – it wasn't his fault that they had been tricked. But he had also seen Kagome's pain when she spoke of it. He remembered feeling jealous that she still felt bad about it, but then she had explained that it wasn't quite about the fact that he cared about Kikyou; she could live with that, and she had, in fact, chosen to. It was the fact that he wouldn't choose between the two. He had kept her hanging, dragging her along by a string, while he had traipsed around looking for Kikyou. That was more dishonorable – in Sesshoumaru's opinion – than leaving an undead priestess to fend for herself. She belonged with the dead anyway.

Through all of it though, she had forgave him time and time again. But this was different. There had been no promises between Kagome and Inuyasha. They had cared for one another, and she stayed by his side, but before he had ruined everything, she had had no interest in the hanyou as a lover. She had turned to him. And at the time, he had wanted no one else but her. Then he banished her – said awful things to her – and she turned to Inuyasha. But he had seen it in her eyes; she didn't love him. Not like that. He wasn't sure why Kagome had decided to marry his brother, but it wasn't for love.

Sometime after his 'discussion' with Kagome's parents, he wondered what she would have done if he had realized in time; if he had caught her in the middle of the wedding and renounced his hateful words, would she have taken him back? He wasn't sure. Even Kagome could take so much.

Guilt was a new feeling for him. It's possible that the very first time he had ever felt guilty was during his time with Kagome. Especially when he had stormed off when she had corrected him about their relationship. _Of course_ she would tell him the truth. She wouldn't be Kagome if she didn't. Now, though, he truly knew what the emotion meant. It was a deep, dark feeling that settled in the pit of his stomach and weighed him down, as if he were trudging through mud. He knew, instinctually, that if the occasion called for it, he would still be as fast as he was when he was younger – perhaps even faster, since his strengths were based on his youki, not his muscles. But that didn't mean that he felt fast. On the contrary, he felt sluggish. Of course it didn't help that he knew the reason behind it. He felt guilty.

It's not like he didn't deserve it. Oh, he knew exactly how much he deserved to feel like this. Unfortunately, whenever he thought about confessing his guilt to Kagome, he imagined her laughing and saying, 'You? Guilty? Do you even know what that is? And I hardly believe "guilt" is the word for it.' She would probably cross her arms while saying it and tip her nose up like a haughty cat that was attempting to ignore someone. It was disconcerting how he had these imaginary conversations with people that were far removed from him. Kagome was still far out of reach. And his father would show up now and then to rub salt in his wounds. 'You see?' his father would say. 'Had you listened to me, you wouldn't be in this predicament.' It still annoyed him how the conjuration of his father's voice was so snarky. He almost reminded Sesshoumaru of… Kagome. Well, that was disturbing.

He knew he had to do something to make it up to her. This was easier said than done, since he had no idea how to approach her. And there was that promise to her mother that decreed he would not approach Kagome unless she was unhappy and needed him. Of course, he could sense that she was unhappy and needed him now, but Katsuo's wife was proving to be as protective towards Kagome as he or Inuyasha was. She had made it clear he was not to interfere with Inuyasha and Kagome's relationship, and he had stupidly promised. He promised himself to never make any more promises.

In the past, when he had first told Kagome's parents about the whole debacle that was to come, he worried. What if, by telling them, he had altered something? He knew that Kagome was careful of not changing the future when she had travelled the land looking for jewel shards and Naraku. But… did that include him? She said nothing of his existence in her future, but she told him so much about it – even let him read books from her time – so did that mean that he wasn't going to live to see her again? It was unthinkable that he should die. It was unbearable to think he would never see her again. But perhaps he had just kept his promise and not had contact with her directly. Well, that would explain things. But it was disconcerting that he had no idea what was going to happen after she came through the well for the last time, after it would close up forever.

He also had no idea the role he would play in Kagome's life, although she knew nothing of it. It started when he saved Katsuo and his father – Kagome's grandfather – from potential death by a crazed man. Apparently, fate had other plans for Katsuo.

~~~~~%~~

Tetsu came to visit.

He was such a brilliant light, a shining star. Full of energy. Because she was able to rid him of the disease that had been killing him for several years. Kagome smiled so much her face was sore by the end of the day.

It was a Saturday – he proudly announced that he hadn't been able to visit earlier because he had been going to school. School! She beamed, and even Inuyasha seemed more proud of Kagome than usual. He asked where the members of her family were as she made lunch, and Kagome explained that they had moved away. He was sad that Souta wasn't there to play with, and stuck his tongue out at Inuyasha when he offered to play – Inuyasha was too old, he had explained, to Kagome's humor.

Inuyasha looked for the signs that she was going to break down with the mention of her family, but she had been surprisingly upbeat lately. And now she smiled as she had to relive the moment. He was surprised, to say the least. He supposed it had to do with that stupid yoga stuff she was doing. Well, if it helped that much, he wasn't going to complain. She had been distant lately, though. Perfectly friendly and cheery, especially with the shrine visitors. But he couldn't shake the feeling that she had been avoiding him as much as possible. She still smiled, spoke, cooked, cleaned, and performed whatever duties she was required for the visitors. And they still had sex. It was always mind-blowingly great sex. But he felt like as time went by, she was less connected. Her little sounds that used to drive him wild fell silent. And she didn't initiate sex anymore. And if that wasn't bad enough, she no longer dominated. Not in the sense that she would put on high heels and whip him – although that wasn't a bad idea – but she just went along with whatever he wanted; she was a rag doll. She used to tease him and switch positions, taking her pleasure. She kissed him without abandon, and before her family had left, she would pull him to the side for a great make-out session. Now, there was no family here to find them, no one to be scandalized on the off-chance that they would come upon the two of them in the shadows. But that had all faded over time.

Inuyasha began to wonder if he had made the right decision. Would things have been better – despite what he had thought – if he had not wished on the jewel and closed the well?

~~~~~%~~

Once they were done eating and they had caught up, Tetsu became very serious. Kagome asked what was wrong, and he hesitated.

"Oi! Don't tell me you came here just so we could drag information out of you," Inuyasha groused.

"Inuyasha," Kagome scolded, "he's not one of Naraku's minions. He's a kid. Leave him alone."

He gave her a 'keh' before crossing his arms and leaning against the refrigerator.

"Now, Tetsu. Was there another reason for your visit?" she asked, her big blue eyes shining.

The boy looked away. But purpose is stronger than shyness, so he finally mumbled an explanation to her. Inuyasha, with his lessened hearing, had to lean in to catch the words.

"There's a girl I know in the hospital where I was. She…"

Well, he had told himself he was going to be strong for Megumi. But apparently, he still had some growing up to do. It started with just a tear, then he choked back a sob. When Kagome came towards him with a worried look on her face and said, "Oh, Tetsu…" he lost it. He began to cry, and she held him, rocking gently like she used to do with Shippou. Inuyasha huffed with impatience, but Kagome flattened him with a glare. Two minutes later, it seemed he was calm enough to speak. Kagome thought it would be best if she spoke first.

"There, that's better," she told him, wiping whatever tears were left away with her haori sleeve. "Okay, let me get this straight. The hospital where you were staying… there's a girl you left behind there. A friend?"

He blushed, and Kagome had her answer. She gave him a sly smile and a noogie.

"Tetsu! You little heartbreaker!" She laughed to lighten the mood, and it worked. The boy was smiling now. "Okay, so your _girlfriend_-" she grinned when he leveled her with a glare, "- is still there. And I'm assuming she's sick?"

All traces of playfulness evaporated. He became silent and stared at his hands, which were placed on the table in front of him.

"She's dying," he said quietly. Kagome didn't know what to say, so she remained silent, hoping he would say something else. "Not like me. I mean, she has this thing… She needs new intestines. She's on the list for it, but the list is long. The doctors don't think she's going to live to get it unless some of the others ahead of her die first."

Kagome hadn't noticed the tears that had fallen, but Inuyasha did.

"Kid, did'ja come here just to make her upset? We don't even know if Kagome can do something like that. Do you know what this stuff does to her?" His voice rose with his anger, and he hadn't realized he was moving towards the boy until Kagome stuck out an arm to block his way.

"Kagome, I'm sorry!" the boy pleaded, "I just don't know what to do. She's not gonna make it. I wouldn't ask you if I didn't think… Didn't you ever really wanna save someone before?"

Instantly, her mind flashed to Sesshoumaru. She remembered crying over him, so upset that she had hurt him that she used every bit of energy she had healing him. She knew what it was like, to fear for the life of another. And although she hadn't been in love with him at the time, the memory seemed to be more painful than ever. _Because_ she had loved him.

She nodded, placing a hand over Tetsu's. "I know exactly how you feel. I just…"

He thought she was refusing him, and he looked away and started to stand with every intention of leaving.

"I just have no idea how to go about this."

He froze in his tracks.

"I mean, if her health is that poor, she can't leave the hospital, right?"

Tetsu turned to find Kagome with her chin in her hand, her brow creased as she thought.

"And I can't let anyone see. I mean, if it got out…"

"Total pandemonium," the boy said, nodding.

"This is fucking ridiculous, and I won't let you do it," Inuyasha gruffed, his arms still crossed and his back still leaning against the refrigerator.

Kagome gasped. "Inuyasha! You're so rude! Don't use such bad language in front of Tetsu!"

"Kagome," he said, unwavering, "you're not doing this. I feel bad for the kid and his little girlfriend, but I won't let you risk everything to heal her."

Tetsu's head moved back and forth as he watched the adults fight. He had a feeling Inuyasha would be a problem – never liked the jerk – but this looked bad. If he had the power to stop her, Megumi would die.

Kagome glared at her husband of seven months. "Inuyasha, you can't stop me. And if you try, let me just say this. You will _wish_ you still had your Kotodama…"

The boy looked at the two strangely. What was she talking about? How would a subjugation necklace work on a human? Shrugging, he was at least less worried, now that Kagome had decided. But Inuyasha would most likely still put up a fight, even though he looked pretty much put in place right now. Tetsu looked to her, and she had a determined smile on her face.

"Right," she said, clapping her hands together. "Let's figure something out."

~~~~~%~~

It took a few phone calls back and forth, but eventually, they figured out that the best way to approach this was without Tetsu's direct involvement. Inuyasha and Kagome would come in to the hospital separate from him, and he would distract the nurses – that was his idea, since he claimed they were still obsessed with him over the miraculous transformation he had gone through.

A week after he had shown up, Kagome was standing outside of the hospital looking up at the building. She glanced in Inuyasha's direction. He was scowling, of course. He had been for the past week.

"Inuyasha, you don't have to come in if you don't want to," she said. She felt like she was walking on eggshells. Worse than eggshells. Bubbles.

In typical Inuyasha fashion, he crossed his arms, not looking at her. "Keh," he said. "You get in too much trouble without me around."

Well, she couldn't deny that, although there wasn't much trouble to get in to in this Era.

"Okay," she said, nodding. "But please try to be nice. There are a lot of people in there that are in pain."

She didn't want to clue him in. The truth was that as her powers were evolving into her new life as a healer instead of a fighter, new things began to happen. She had always been sensitive to the plight of others – the gods knew that she was unable to deny help to those that needed it – but the more people she helped, it grew stronger. Whenever she was near someone who needed her, who was unhealthy and only she could help, she could feel their pain.

It wasn't something that she could help. She first noticed it when she was walking to local convenience store and passed a haggard-looking man dragging a young boy behind him. As they crossed paths – each travelling in the opposite direction – Kagome felt her stomach turn within itself. They brushed each other – her fingers skimmed his sleeve – and it intensified, leaving her breathless. She had to lean against the wood of the nearest building to compose herself. She felt conflicted: should she go speak to him? But she had a hard enough time comprehending it. What did this mean? Had she imagined it all? Was it just a coincidence that her stomach plunged just as she passed that sickly-looking man?

She got her answer a few days later, when she happened to pass an elderly woman. She was on her way to the bank – this time Inuyasha was with her, and when she gripped her chest in agony as they walked past the slower woman, he steadied her.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice and eyes the epitome of concern.

The old woman walked on, and as she moved further away, Kagome's heart resumed its' normal rhythm. "Um… Yeah. I think. I just…" She couldn't tell him. He would never allow her to leave the shrine again. Hell, he wouldn't let her have contact with anyone anymore.

He tried to wait for her answer patiently, but he was worried. "Well? What?" He seemed angry, but Kagome knew how he got when he was worried about her; it was how he showed he cared – with harsh words and scowls.

"E he he…" she laughed uncomfortably. She hated lying, especially to him. "It's nothing, Inuyasha. I just had a cramp or something. I'm fine, really."

She smiled winningly, and he seemed to accept it.

Now, as she stared up at the building – all the pain from the people inside crushing her with their individual torment. Luckily, she had some time to get used to it – Kayo and Tetsu included – and all the meditating she did helped her control it; she used it to center her healing on whatever it was that ailed the person. Would it get worse once she healed Megumi, the girl who Tetsu asked her to heal? There was only one way to find out, and this time, she would not worry about what she could lose by acting.

Bravely, she took the first step, trying to remember the mask of indifference Sesshoumaru wore when he wanted no one to know what he was thinking. But she couldn't recall that Sesshoumaru; she only remembered his gentle smiles, his touch, and his dark voice. Funny how she would think of him so suddenly. Here, now, when she needed support.

At the reception desk, she signed in to visit Megumi, giving the information Tetsu had handed her. She was directed to the Children's Ward, and here, Kagome knew that even without this new little side-effect of empathy she would still feel like her heart was breaking. Inside, she found dozens of sick children playing. But it didn't seem like a playground. Instead, it felt like a funeral. The children tried to hope, but many of them had been given grim futures, and some were on their last legs, Megumi included.

The girl was easy to find, given Tetsu's description. She had long, wavy black hair like her own, but she had dark eyes – they were almost black. She lay in her bed, smiling as she watched the other children who were not bed-ridden play with whatever toys the hospital had provided them with. But her smile was sad, like she wished to join them; Kagome was more resolved than ever to help.

The problem lay in the fact that she now wanted to help them all, even though she knew it was impossible. Oh, she was indeed stronger now, but she wouldn't be able to heal two children without killing herself – she knew it, and didn't need to be reminded by Inuyasha, who looked at her with an expression that said he knew exactly what she was thinking. Perhaps she could come back tomorrow?

As planned, Tetsu came to the floor, and the nurses rushed to meet him. One of the children, who had been at the desk asking for juice, relayed the information to them and they came into the hall to see him; he had given them hope - if he could get better so quickly and easily, why couldn't they?

After the room was clear except for the few children that were instructed to stay in bed, Kagome went to Megumi's side. She looked up at the older woman with wide eyes, understanding.

"Wow. You're so pretty," she said, her voice barely a whisper.

It was a culmination of things – her emotional state, all the suffering around her, and the young girl's words – but a single tear escaped and Megumi smiled at her – that same sad smile.

"Don't worry," she gasped. "I'll be okay, even if it doesn't work."

Kagome was speechless. This girl seemed like she had already accepted death – it was probably all she was told, day in and day out. Kagome knew how doctors tried to be optimistic when their patient was in a situation like this, but sometimes, when there truly was no more to hope for, they began to prepare you for the worst. Apparently, Megumi had been prepared.

With a confident, resolved look in her eyes, Kagome put a hand on the girl's fragile shoulder. "Megumi, everything is going to be okay."

Unfortunately, the contact with the girl made Kagome ache all over, and the pain showed on her face. The young girl mistook it for a lie and patted the miko's hand that still laid on her shoulder.

She said the same thing she said to all the doctors that said those same words to her. "I have faith in you."

Kagome could see the doubt, but obviously only actions would prove it, not words. How she didn't believe after seeing Tetsu's transformation, she didn't know. So Kagome started by meditating for a minute. She closed her eyes and found the center of the girl's pain, felt through her hand. Then she focused her power on that pain and released. The girl gasped, feeling warm and strange. But she held still, and Kagome was done in a few seconds.

She opened her eyes to see Megumi looking at her with a mixture of wonder and confusion in her eyes. But Kagome felt no more pain in the girl, and that was worth the now suffocating feeling that bombarded her from all the other patients near her. And for the first time in months, Kagome blacked out, although for the first time, it was welcome.

~~~~~%~~

Thoroughly roused from his meeting at one of his companies, he felt a surge of power from Kagome. He had felt her now and then, but she had been getting stronger; whenever he felt her healing powers, she seemed healthy afterwards. This time, however, he felt her life force flicker until it was almost extinguished. He excused himself, but some of the haughty humans that worked for him were upset.

"You can't just leave now. We were just about to discuss the importance of overseas marketing…"

Sesshoumaru turned to pin a glare on the man who dared to stop him. He would have growled and shown his teeth, but that wasn't possible. He would have to kill the humans afterwards, and that would get messy. Not just for his suit, either, but these humans and their silly sense of justice would call their 'police', and then there would really be trouble. He wasn't worried for himself, but he would have to take many human lives, and he was sure that Kagome would not approve, especially if she had turned into a healer.

Once he left the office, he opted to go on foot. Tokyo's traffic was infamous, and during this time of day, it would be easier to just run there. Keeping his speed in check, he rushed to where he still felt a dim light coming from Kagome's soul.

He had never been scared in his life. Not when he was a baby. Not when his mother left. Not when his father had died. Not when he had to survive on his own. But today, feeling Kagome's life as such a weak pulse of energy and coming from within a hospital… well, he may not ever tell a soul, but he was frightened beyond belief.

Once inside, he flashed a card that allowed him to get a pass, but he had no intention of meeting with the director of medicine. Instead, he made his way towards Kagome's aura. It wasn't hard to follow; his youki was drawn to it, as if seeking out its' other half.

Needless to say, he was surprised when he passed a group of sick children. Was he on the childrens' floor? He followed the pull of his beast to a room and peeked inside. He found a young girl – he knew she was not sick from her scent – that reminded him of Kagome laying in a hospital bed. She had long, wavy, black hair and a fine bone structure. She was holding Kagome's hand. The miko lay unconscious next to her in the same bed. Inuyasha, his back towards him, was bent over the two of them, his head bent in grief.

He was curious. The girl wasn't sick, and Kagome was in a deep sleep. His brother looked like he was ready to mourn Kagome's passing. What had occurred here? He knew Kagome was healing 'sick' people – as told by her mother – but these children were beyond miko powers. They were all holding on by mere threads. Was it possible that she had become so powerful she could heal those that had incurable diseases? Either way, she seemed fine now. As it was, it felt like she was waking up, her aura brightening slowly.

With a smirk, he turned to leave. _Well, if anyone found out, she would put me out of business_, he thought.

"Takahashi-san," a nurse bowed, "I'm sorry, but this is the wrong floor for the director. Would you like me to show you the way?"

Well, he got himself into it; he might as well follow it through. Nodding, he watched her smile in a flirtatious manner before walking away. He scowled, imaging that she was swaying her hips a little much for walking at this pace. But his company had good ties with this hospital and he did not want to be found out, and before he knew it, they were in an elevator, going up to the twelfth floor.

~~~~~%~~

She was slowly waking up, although she had no idea how long she had been out. But it wasn't like coming out of a deep sleep, which was how she normally felt. This time, she felt like she was being pulled out of her state. It was as if a hand had reached into the black of her mind and was pulling… Her vision blurred slightly, but she knew when she woke up that someone else was there with her. She distantly could hear Inuyasha calling to her, asking if she was okay, but that wasn't what had grabbed her attention.

She tried to focus, closing her eyes and meditating. She felt the source, a familiar hum of an aura. She opened her eyes and looked to the door, but saw nothing – but a flash of something moving caught her eye and she only had time to see a wisp of long, silver hair pulling away from the door frame. It took a second before the thought that – possibly, maybe, oh please oh please oh please – Sesshoumaru could be in this time. She really hadn't given it thought, but now, that familiar aura – definitely youkai – and the hair… could it be anyone else?

Inuyasha was still trying to get a response out of her. He had resorted to shaking her now, his hands roughly around the tops of her arms. When the realization hit her, she broke from his grasp, jumped out of the bed, and ran towards the door, stumbling from her weakness. But the closed to the door she was, the closer he felt. Unfortunately, Kagome, who was famous for tripping over roots, brambles, or her own two feet – whatever she could find, really – did just that. And Inuyasha, with his slow human reflexes, couldn't catch her before she twisted her ankle.

A bright lance of pain shot though her leg, but she had been hurt too many times to cry out. She just sat on the floor. When Inuyasha reached her, he asked what was wrong, to which she replied, "Nothing, Inuyasha. I just thought… I thought I saw someone I knew.

He snorted. "Keh, who else would you know here?"

She looked up at him and smiled. It was such a sad smile that Inuyasha's indifferent expression turned anxious. "No one, I guess," she answered.

-------------------------END CHAPTER---------------------------

E/N: I know this seems like a filler chapter, but the point of this story is to show how the characters evolve, _**not**_ how they fall in love. So I'm sorry if any of you found this boring, but this chapter was a testament of how Kagome overcame her emotions, and how Sesshoumaru found his. But I get it – trust me, I'm impatient for Sesshoumaru's return as well. So things will pick up starting in the next chapter. So please, no more throwing things at me. *runs for cover* And I know you all get it – Kagome is recovering, and Sesshoumaru is repenting. It's very repetitive, I know. But so is your mind. Have you ever had a fight with someone you cared about and kept thinking and thinking about it, even though you thought pretty much the same thing? Now imagine going years (a few for her, many for him) without seeing that person. Anger breeds hatred, and sorrow breeds grief. That's all I'm trying to convey.


	17. XVII

A/N: Thanks to everyone who's still willing to read. I realize I haven't been updating consistently, but I have a lot going on in both my real world and in my writing world. Thanks to my SuperFans (with a capital 'S'!) that truly understand this story and my motives, especially the fabulous WiccanMethuselah over at MediaMiner, who has followed me since I posted Chapter 1, and 1Alisha on FanFiction, who made my heart swell with pride. And a big thanks to my Dokuga readers, who haven't given up on me! And NO, this is not the end. We still have a bit to go.

"_And I'll take with me, the memories…  
To be my sunshine after the rain.  
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday."_ - **Hard To Say Goodbye, Boyz II Men**

**That's the Way Love Goes**

Chapter XVII

If she was honest with herself, she had to admit it was driving her crazy.

Ever since that day, two weeks ago, that she had thought she saw Sesshoumaru in the hospital, Kagome had found herself lingering on it more and more. But it wasn't him. It couldn't be. Could it?

She had no idea if he was even alive, although just the thought of a world where the powerful Taiyoukai didn't exist was both painful and preposterous. And she was having dreams, too. Sometimes they were beautiful: they were back in the Feudal Era, and he was that new, compassionate youkai that adored her. Sometimes, they weren't so pleasant: he was banishing her all over again, and this time, she refused to leave, resulting in his attacking her. During those nights, she woke up screaming; the vision of his claws reaching through her chest too realistic. Sometimes, she woke up panting, replays of their steamier moments still fresh in her mind. Always, she woke up crying.

Inuyasha was puzzled; he thought she was over the nightmares and crying. But he never asked, lest it open a new wound. When she was fully awake, she would snap back to her new self and go about her day, starting with the meditation.

Today had been a bad day. She had dreamed, this time, that she wouldn't obey him. He had attacked, but this day was different. Instinctively, her powers had taken over. She had purified him. It had taken Kagome half an hour to calm herself.

"You sure you don't want me to close up the shrine?" her husband asked, attempting to keep the worry from his voice.

Kagome half-smiled, wiping remnants of tears from her face. "Thanks, Inuyasha, but no. I need to meditate, and I like the visitors. I'm okay now, really."

He grunted, unsure. "Kagome, are you sure this meditating thing is doing good? I mean, you like it, and it seemed to be helping…" Afraid he'd already revealed too much, he trailed off, wondering if he should just leave her be. Instead, she shook her head slowly, still smiling.

"It's not the meditating. I… I don't know why I'm dreaming again," she lied. "But the yoga really helps to center me. Speaking of which…" She leapt off the bed, grabbing a pair of pants and a tank top for her routine, signaling the conversation was over.

He imagined his ears would be drooping, if he still had the white triangles of fur. He knew she felt worlds better when she was done with her yoga, but why now? She had been doing great, until they went to the hospital. That night, the dreams began again…

Could it have been the exertion of her powers? Could it have triggered something? But she had over-extended herself so many times before that. Why now? Maybe it was the hospital setting? Shaking his head slowly, Inuyasha realized he wasn't going to understand unless she wanted him to, so he started towards the bathroom, looking forward to the hot shower.

~~~~~()~~

Sesshoumaru couldn't shake the feeling. It was an instinctive pull, but he refused to follow it… again. He had followed it that night, after seeing Kagome in the hospital. He had deflected the staff soon after and went back to his meeting, which he was disappointed to find was still in session. But when it was time to go home, he had felt it. Something was trying to push him in the direction of the shrine.

At first, he ignored it. He chalked it up to a nostalgic need to see her. But it wouldn't let him sleep. Or rather, he kept thinking about it, which didn't allow him to drift off. When he had enough, he dressed in jeans and a tee shirt and left, silently stalking his way towards the shrine. But…

He knew it was inevitable. With her powers at full strength now, she would feel him. And unlike the other times he had kept tabs on her, she was even more powerful now. She would feel him coming. He couldn't allow contact; not now. When he felt the faintest brush of her aura, the pull on his soul lessened, leaving little doubt – it wasn't his imagination. But he couldn't linger; the lights were still on in the house, and he couldn't chance her sensing him. Without a sound, he disappeared back into the night, the compulsion against his soul lessened, but not gone.

~~~~~%~~

She couldn't act upon it, but Kagome had this nagging feeling that she was supposed to go somewhere. She wasn't sure where, and it would look odd if she wanted to take a walk at this time of night. And Inuyasha would never let her go alone. She felt like she was being pulled towards it – whatever it was – and it was there every day. Tonight, it was strong. Perhaps brought on by her nightmare. It didn't make sense, but she felt like she should be out there, following the pull.

At some point, when they were getting ready for bed, Kagome felt the pull lessen. And then… With a gasp, Kagome felt herself becoming whole. She felt more at ease than she had in a long time. It was a strong feeling, distracting her from the youki brushing up against her powerful aura. She felt calm; peaceful. And then, just as quickly, it was gone.

She was so distraught over the loss, she wanted to cry. But she held it in. Closing herself in the bathroom, she let a single tear drop down her face before she composed herself and slid into bed next to her husband.

~~~~~%~~

She had woken up crying silently the next morning, the sign of a better dream. But it wasn't better, just different. In her dream, her memory recalled the feeling of Sesshoumaru's youki brushing up against her spirit, and when she had woken up she didn't know what to think. Had she felt him last night, when she was distracted? Or was it just another product of her dreams? It was impossible to know. Either way, at least it hadn't terrified her as the previous night had. So she forced herself to push the thoughts away as she meditated and went through her day. That night, Inuyasha made love to her, thinking she was over whatever had disturbed her the day before. But after that morning's dream, Kagome could only think about whom she wished to be with.

~~~~~%~~

Over the weeks, Kagome felt the pull lessen. It was a relief, and now she began to wonder if it really had been there at all. Questioning her own sanity, she didn't notice her own powers slowly pulling inwards. About two months after the incident at the hospital, Kagome realized that her dreams were getting more vivid. The nightmares had eased up, occurring only every now and then. For the most part, she was remembering bits and pieces of her former life in the Sengoku Jidai.

This was no comfort; she still would wake up crying softly, remembering Sango's embrace or Miroku's smile. Kaede would re-teach her things she didn't think she would need in this time, and she would awaken, resolved to remember the things the miko taught her. Jinenji would walk his fields with her and they would pick herbs. Even Hojo Akitoki made an appearance.

Occasionally, she was with her entire group, fighting Naraku or his minions.

Sometimes, they were lazing around a river, eating lunch.

Other nights, they were grieving or mourning for villagers they had buried.

Every time, it was not Inuyasha by her side.

It didn't seem right. She knew these were memories, because she recalled them perfectly whenever she woke up. And she knew she had lived these moments. She also knew – without a doubt – that Inuyasha should be there. She should be grasping onto his waist with her legs, soaring through the branches of great trees. She should be riding her bicycle as she followed after his reliable nose. She should be drawing her bow, waiting for her chance as he struck at their enemy with Tessaiga.

But it was never his silver hair. It was never his golden eyes. And it was never the fang meant for destruction. And this troubled her more than anything.

As if all that wasn't bad enough, Kagome had recently realized that her period had been absent. With the dreams and the magnetic pull towards something unknown, combined with the regular duties she was required to do, Kagome had paid little attention to her biological clock. But a recent dream, in which she remembered an awful day where she was far from the well and had no 'feminine products' reminded her that her period had been M.I.A. for some time. When was the last time she had cycled? Had she even had it this month? Had she last month?

She ignored these thoughts most of the time, deciding she had bigger problems – which, if she thought about it, could be the source of _this_ problem. It wouldn't be the first time that stress had kept her period from showing up.

The day that she had been making lunch – leftover rice and baked fish – and the smell had overwhelmed her to the point where she had to run to the bathroom and relieve herself of whatever was in her stomach, she began to worry. There was something wrong. Something very wrong. After rinsing her mouth and face, she went back to work, and she forgot how worried she had been; Inuyasha was still outside, oblivious, and her hunger had returned tenfold. The combination of the two things erased whatever worries she had. Of course, when it happened again the next day – with Inuyasha present – she couldn't ignore it.

"Kagome, what's going on?" Inuyasha's worried voice floated by, sounding distant as she threw up violently.

She didn't answer.

"Kagome?"

Nothing.

"Kagome," he said, a little more sternly now, "I'm going to come in if you don't talk to me."

That got her attention.

"H-hold on…" she replied, her voice shaky from the exertion.

Inuyasha huffed impatiently, but waited.

Once she had composed herself, wiping the strained tears from her eyes and blowing her nose, she opened the door.

Even as a human, he was alarmed when he realized she had been sick. And she looked oddly guilty. Had this happened before? "Kagome, are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, now. I think the miso was just a little strong…"

"Strong?" he asked, screwing up his face. "You gotta be kiddin' me. Miso's not strong in the first place, and this stuff's mild. What's going on?"

Surprised he had seen through her, Kagome tried to cover it up. "No, really. It's nothing, Inuyasha. Maybe I'll just take the afternoon off…"

Now he was alarmed. Kagome never took any part of the day off, no matter how she felt. She was too selfless. He scrutinized her, his dark eyes barely showing through his lowered lids. "Kagome, what's going on?" he asked. But it sounded more like a demand than a question.

She glared at him, angry that he was prodding. But then she gave up, suddenly exhausted. It took a moment to find the words, but she finally told him. Well, not the entire truth.

"I… don't know, Inuyasha. I haven't been feeling right. But I'm hungry, so I'm gonna finish lunch. And then, I think I'm going to take the rest of the day off and call the doctor."

She didn't think he'd bought it, but after a few moments, he looked less suspicious and nodded. "Okay. Let's go," he said, offering her a hand.

She took it gingerly, allowing him to pull her to her feet. With that, they walked to the kitchen to salvage their lunch.

~~~~~%~~

Twenty hours later, Kagome sat on a stiff examination table, unable to comprehend what the doctor was telling her.

"Congratulations! I'm assuming this will be your first?" the well-intentioned, graying man offered.

She didn't move. She didn't speak. She didn't blink.

The older man studied her, suddenly grasping that the young woman in front of him may not have been planning this baby, married or not. Uneasily, he backed towards the door, deciding to give her some time to think. He glanced around the room, making sure there were no sharp instruments nearby, in case the baby was truly unwanted. With a firm twist, he opened the door and exited hastily into the bright hallway.

Impossible. Well, not impossible, since she knew how biology worked, but still… Pregnant? She was going to be a mom? Impossible.

_I'm not ready_, she told herself over and over_. I'm not ready, this is wrong, this can't be happening, it's impossible_… There was something deep within her clutching her insides. It clawed at her relentlessly, but she wouldn't recognize what it was until the next morning, when she woke up silently crying once again. This time, the dream had been that she had given birth to a little boy. A little boy with sparkling silver hair and bright, golden eyes. The boy had made her extremely happy until she realized it was hanyou…

Thankfully, after the shock of what happened, Kagome could rely on the excuse that pregnant women often had irrational, vivid dreams. This was what she told Inuyasha when he asked why she was so upset. "Just a silly dream," she had said. Comes along with the mood swings and morning sickness. But the image of the beautiful boy stuck with her, burned into her memory of what she had lost.

She was meditating when it came to her. She couldn't forget the happy, amber eyes or the beautiful violet stripes on his wrist. When she kept trying to forget the reason this conjured child looked this way, she realized that the gnawing, nagging feeling in her gut was guilt. She was having a baby. And it wasn't with the man she truly loved.

~~~~~%~~

"Give me one good reason why," Inuyasha yelled, making Kagome cringe with the intensity of his voice.

They had had this argument several times in the past weeks, and it was always the same, yet neither made any headway. She sighed with frustration. "Inuyasha," she said as calmly as she could, "my family has their own things going on. Souta is in the middle of his first year in high school, and my mother doesn't need to drag my grandfather all the way down here just so I can tell them." She glared daggers at him to get the point across. It was lost on him.

"Then why can't you call them and tell them?"

Now Kagome assumed her most calm voice, the one that sent shivers down Inuyasha's spine. Because Kagome was never more menacing than when she seemed calm. Fighting not to grit her teeth, she answered. "This isn't something I want to tell them over the phone," she said slowly. "It can wait. We have plenty of time, and when the time is right, I'll tell them."

Inuyasha huffed out of the kitchen, still not appeased. Kagome didn't expect him to be, since it hadn't worked any of the other times. And she wasn't happy either, because she knew he didn't see it her way. So it was an impasse. For now.

A brief thought of Inuyasha sneaking off to call her mother skittered across her imagination, and then she deliberately imagined the many ways she could kill him for doing so. It would be much worse than the 'sits' she had given him.

Her decision not to tell anyone – and that meant everyone – was personal. She was still fighting with herself over it; the guilt, and the feeling of not being ready to be a mother… it was unsettling. It would make the situation that more real if she told her mother. And telling one person would justify telling anyone. She didn't want everyone she knew congratulating her on something she didn't exactly feel celebratory about.

Inuyasha didn't understand her. Of course, he couldn't understand her when she didn't let him know how she felt, but he mostly chalked it up to the mood swings she had told him about. The only problem was that she seemed to only have one mood: irritable. Even with her daily meditating, she was sour, barely speaking to him. They didn't have sex anymore, but he figured that with all the throwing up, she probably wasn't in the mood. She was still chipper with the shrine guests; they seemed to give her a sense of stability. Some normalcy.

But the fact that she was distancing herself from him was the most disturbing. She barely spoke to him. She stayed up late, and would often sleep on the living room couch, telling him that she fell asleep watching TV. But it seemed like she was avoiding him. Every time he tried to start a conversation, she would find something to do – something that needed immediate attention. If he tried to touch her – a caress on the shoulder, a kiss on the cheek, a brush on the back of her neck – she would duck away, or cringe and endure it. He pretended not to notice, but he did. He assumed she wasn't feeling well, and that eventually, she would come to terms.

When Kagome had been to the pediatrician for the third time, they asked if she wanted an ultrasound with her next visit. She was about to decline when her husband jumped up and vigorously told them that they did want the ultrasound. The nurse laughed and scurried away to make their next appointments. Kagome scowled at Inuyasha, but kept silent. On the way home, a single tear escaped her, but her husband never knew, since he couldn't smell her sadness any more.

~~~~~%~~

"Well, everything seems fine, Higurashi-san," the nurse told her.

She was tired of being poked and prodded. They took blood frequently, and they questioned her incessantly. They took measurements. They listened to the heartbeat. They told her what to eat, how to live.

She was tired of it all, and wanted desperately to go home. She was famished, even though Kagome wasn't even showing yet. That was normal, they told her; many women didn't show until the fifth or sixth month, and she was only in the late forth. And that meant that today, they would do an ultrasound to make sure the baby looked healthy. Kagome swallowed her nervousness.

When they were done in the checkup room, the nurse led them further into the building towards a large room that looked like a bedroom. The only difference was that instead of a nightstand, there was a big, humming machine next to the bed. The nurse left them, and Inuyasha bounced in his skin, excited to see the baby – his baby. Kagome felt more like she was going to be sick. What if the baby had a crescent on its' forehead? What if the baby had stripes? What if… it had dog ears?

But no. This would be a regular, normal, human baby. No claws. No fangs. She was human, and so was Inuyasha. Despite his lineage, her husband had relieved himself of all demonic blood with the help of the Shikon no Tama. The baby would be completely unordinary. So why did the idea depress her?

After only two minutes, a portly woman came into the room and introduced herself as the ultrasound specialist.

"Konnichiwa, Higurashi-san," the woman greeted, "I am Shinji Ryoko."

Kagome smiled for the aging woman. "Konnichiwa, Shinji-san."

The elder smiled back, then noticed the jumpy man in the seat at the foot of the bed. "You must be the father," she said with a knowing smile.

Inuyasha's eyes jerked to the woman's. He nodded vigorously. A wholesome, mirthful laugh escaped the woman, and it filled Kagome with a new feeling. She smiled almost genuinely.

"Ok, Higurashi-san, why don't you make yourself comfortable," Ryoko told her, patting the bed next to her. She was already sitting at the machine, typing away at the keyboard.

Kagome nodded and sat next to the whirring machine. She pretty much knew she needed to lie down, so she swung her legs up and lowered herself to the comfy blanket. There was a generous pillow, and she took advantage. After a few minutes of typing, Ryoko looked down at Kagome and smiled.

"Are you ready?"

Hesitant and sad as she was, Kagome nodded. It had to be done, so it might as well be now.

"Well, then, I'll need you to undo your pants and pull your shirt up a bit," the woman told her.

A few keystrokes later, and Ryoko was pulling a piece of the machine off. It was attached by a curly wire, like a telephone. But Ryoko put it down to grab a bottle of clear gel, squirting some into her palms. When she felt she had enough, the woman rubbed it between her hands, apparently trying to warm it up a bit. Kagome had unzipped her khaki pants, pulling them below her hips and yanked her shirt up under her breasts. Satisfied, Ryoko rubbed the liquid onto Kagome's abdomen.

"Cold!" she hissed and squirmed, causing the older woman to laugh.

"Sorry, I tried to warm it a little, but it never seems to work," she chuckled.

Kagome wanted to glare at her, but couldn't muster the strength. She felt like she could eat a cow.

With the gel smeared appropriately, Ryoko took off the gloves she had been wearing and pulled on a fresh pair. Then she picked up the instrument she had detached earlier and placed it on the gel-coated area. She pressed down hard – in order for the sonic waves to register, you had to push down on the skin – and Kagome almost cried out in surprise. It hurt, since her womb had already formed and was hard to the touch, even though it didn't look any different. So the strong touch was extremely unpleasant. Inuyasha noticed his wife cringing, but since she hadn't said anything, he let the woman do her job.

Roaming around her flesh, Ryoko stopped several times to tap one-handedly on the keyboard, then continued her search for whatever it was she was looking for. The entire time, they could hear the baby's heartbeat, but this was normal, since they had heard it the past two times they had been here. The pain increased; at times, Ryoko had to 'dig' to find what she sought. Kagome bit her lip to keep from telling the woman to stop. But she couldn't control her face, and eventually, Inuyasha could hold back no more.

He had been hovering. He didn't understand anything on the screen, so he paced, watching Kagome's face. "Are you all right?" he asked softly.

Kagome's eyes darted to his. She hadn't thought he would notice. Then again, she could barely think with the pain of the ultrasound. She nodded weakly.

Ryoko frowned, turning to her patient. "I'm sorry, is something bothering you?"

Kagome knew her voice would break if she spoke, but how else could she answer the question? "Yeah," she said, grateful she sounded decent. "I'm okay. It just h-h-hurts a little." Cringing at the way she had faltered, Kagome looked away, finding Inuyasha's dark, human eyes again. He seemed genuinely worried for her. It lightened her heart slightly, and she attempted a smile, which he returned.

Ryoko clucked at herself. "I'm sorry, Higurashi-san. It seems you are a little further along than we thought. Are you positive about the date of your last period?"

Kagome laughed at herself sardonically. "No, not at all. I gave a general estimate, but I had a lot on my mind and hadn't even realized my cycle hadn't appeared," she told the nurse, hoping she wouldn't get scolded again.

But Ryoko simply nodded. "Well, by my estimation, you're about twenty-one weeks; half-way there."

Kagome did the math quickly. She was a week over five months! Suddenly, there seemed to be no time for anything! She glanced over at Inuyasha. He seemed calmer, but probably because he wasn't the greatest at math.

"Okay, so…" The woman turned the screen slightly and tapped a few keys. "This is your baby," she said softly, pointing to the screen.

And there, in black-and-white, Kagome saw the moving, living thing inside her. She had taken anatomy and could see the backbone and limbs, and the tiny, furiously beating heart. It wasn't too developed, but they could see it; it looked… human. And that's when Kagome began to cry.

It wasn't a silent, soft cry. It was a loud wailing, all the months of denial and confusion letting itself out of her. When she had seen the tiny person she was harboring, she felt the instant bond and suddenly, there was nothing more she wanted in life. And so the sobbing began.

Inuyasha rushed to her side and held her hand. Ryoko didn't seem surprised. She dealt with over-emotional pregnant women every day. When it seemed she was calm, the older woman continued, letting them know the baby was perfectly healthy, picking out certain things to show them, and asking if they wanted to know what the sex was.

Inuyasha, now concerned, looked at his wife. But she was smiling. She nodded enthusiastically.

Shutting off the machine as something finished printing, Ryoko handed them the paper that showed the little person inside Kagome. She had a towel ready on her station and handed it to the young new mother. Inuyasha helped wipe her clean of the now-sticky gel, and she sat up carefully, her wide blue eyes searching the experienced woman's deep brown eyes.

"It's a girl."

~~~~~%~~

Kagome had been shocked at first. In her dreams, the baby was a boy. But now, as she came to her senses, she realized everything about that dream was wrong. The gender was wrong, and even the species was wrong. The father was wrong. She should have known. Since it was impossible for the child to be hanyou, it couldn't have been a boy, either, could it?

Now, it was a relief. Like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders, she was finally free of the gripping dreams that had haunted her. And when they were walking into the kitchen, Kagome could actually be happy about what she was saying.

"Sango," she said softly.

Taken completely by surprise, since neither of them had said a word since those three words were uttered, Inuyasha actually looked around, as if the taijiya were behind him. It seized Kagome's heart, because she realized how deeply ingrained their friends had been in Inuyasha as well as her. Had she not been thinking something completely different – had it been he who said her name – she probably would be looking for her friend as well.

Putting a gentle hand on Inuyasha's arm, she commanded his attention. When he looked into her eyes, she placed a hand over her still-flat stomach. "Sango," she said again. She could see the recognition in his eyes. He nodded slowly before grabbing her into a hug and putting his head down onto her shoulder. After a deep breath, he looked up again. Kagome's eyes were curious, but he smiled suddenly.

"Sango," he said. Then he looked at Kagome's hand, still resting against herself. "Sango," he repeated, and grinning widely now, placed a hand over Kagome's. When she returned the smile, he started to laugh. Kagome was baffled – wasn't she supposed to be the one with the mood swings? – but she found herself laughing along, and then he lifted Kagome into a crushing hug so that her feet no longer touched the floor. Swinging her around, he said the name one more time. "Sango!" he laughed.

~~~~~%~~

It hadn't taken long to get used to the idea of being happy with her situation, but now she was pissed. In the three weeks that followed, everything happened at once. First, she began to have trouble sleeping. She would awaken with every little sound. And she couldn't sleep in her favorite position anymore – lying on her stomach. The morning sickness had left some time ago, replaced now by a ravenous hunger. The mood swings had evened out, and she was truly happy now – she and Inuyasha had even began to gently have sex again – but the silliest things could still make her cry. And the thing that had concerned her the most had shown up. The belly.

She hadn't given it too much thought, but at her last visit, the nurse had told her that it would creep up on her, which meant that once it started, it was going to grow rapidly, so she should be prepared to use a lot of lotion to prevent stretch marks. Not one to dally, Kagome began using it right away, although there was no belly. But a few days after that fated appointment, it had shown up. It was so slight, she thought she was imagining it. But day after day, it grew more pronounced. Finally, she asked Inuyasha's opinion. She was naked, standing sideways, staring at herself.

"It's not just me, right?" she asked. "It's there."

Inuyasha looked her over appreciatively, his male pride swollen to epic proportions. His arms wrapped around her and he kissed her neck, letting his lips linger. "Mmm," he replied.

Half-annoyed and half-humored, Kagome weaseled away from him. "I was asking a serious question," she said.

Mirth in his dark grey eyes, Inuyasha faked a pout. "Yes, I see it," he said, sounding like a petulant child as he crossed his arms.

Smirking, Kagome was satisfied with his answer and got dressed, to his despair.

A week later, Kagome felt something. It was a strange feeling, and she didn't know what to think. Was that her? Had she turned in such a way that it created that feeling? She ignored it. But later that night, the sensation came again, a little after they had finished dinner. When she realized what it was, she gasped, her hand flashing down to her barely-there belly. Inuyasha – admittedly slower than when he was hanyou – rushed to her side.

"What's wrong?"

She half-smiled. "Nothing," she told him. "She kicked."

Inuyasha looked at her, his eyes wide.

"Sango kicked."

This got through to him. "Well, she always was a strong one," he said, grinning.

This made Kagome laugh, and they finished cleaning up together.

After that, Sango picked up the pace, kicking often. As she got stronger, so did the movements. Kagome would often gasp or cringe out of the blue, signaling Inuyasha that little Sango was active. Kagome began getting tired easily. Inuyasha took over many of her duties so that she could take naps. It was hard for her to climb the shrine steps, and getting more difficult every week. She had to stop several times, catching her breath before moving on. Inuyasha, unable to bound up the stairs as when he had his father's strong demonic blood flowing in his arteries, could only watch. As the child grew stronger, Kagome grew weaker.

After her next appointment and the doctor told her everything looked good, Kagome decided it was time. A few of the regular shrine visitors knew, but they were either loyal friends – like Megumi, Tetsu, and Kayo – or elderly folk that Kagome knew didn't have contact with her family. But now, with only ten weeks to go, time seemed short. As it was, her mother was not going to be happy that she had kept it a secret for so long.

"Mom?"

Her shrill tone immediately set off an alarm in her mother's head. "Kagome, dear? What's wrong?"

_Damnit_, Kagome thought. She had wanted to start with something simple. She should've checked her voice first. "Everything's fine," she said, the nervousness leaking from her side of the phone.

Knowing her daughter, the elder Higurashi took a different approach. "All right. How are you, dear?"

"I'm okay. How are you and grandpa?"

"Oh, you know your grandfather. He's trying to teach the locals about the dangerous demons that lurk in the countryside…"

Kagome managed to laugh, calming her a little. "Mom… You know there aren't any demons in this era," she reminded.

"I know that, dear, but your grandfather isn't taking any chances," she responded, making them both chuckle a bit.

They continued, small talk the majority of it. Kagome complained that Souta wasn't calling, and her mother explained that the boy hardly called them, either. He was wrapped up in his studies, although she suspected different. Kagome was surprised to hear this; she thought her mother knew everything, but apparently, Souta had hidden his girlfriend well. So Kagome tried to pass it off as a freedom thing – she was sure Souta had no interests in the girls at his high school. Her mother seemed reassured, and Kagome felt better. Then she almost blurted it out.

"How's Inuyasha adjusting?" her mother had asked.

With everything that had happened, she said the first thing that came to her mind. "Oh, he's just peachy. He's so happy he could burst," she said. Silently, she clamped her hand over her mouth, hoping her mother wouldn't read into that.

It was too hard to resist. "Happy? He was always happy there, Kagome. What's there to be happi_er_ about?"

_Crap_, she thought. _Oh well, here goes nothing_. "Well, mama…" The words died in her mouth. She had never discussed sex with her mother, and the fact that her mother would know that she had to have sex for this to happen was unbearable. Embarrassed to death, she blushed severely, her entire body hot from the accelerated heartbeat and flushed skin.

Picking up on her hesitation, the elder Higurashi prompted her. "Kagome? What's wrong?"

It was the same thing her mother had said in the beginning of the call, but she couldn't stall any longer. She had to tell her.

Kagome took a deep breath, her heart beating furiously. "Mama, I'm pregnant."

There was a pause, and Kagome thought she imagined her mother going into cardiac arrest.

"Oh my gosh! Kagome, that's wonderful!"

And Kagome let out a solid breath she hadn't known she was holding.

The next half hour was a blur – most of the time, she was being scolded for waiting so long for telling her. The first question had been "How far along are you?" and when she got her answer, Kagome's mother had gasped in shock. Then she rambled on about the things she had missed and how she wished she was there. At one point, Grandpa had ambled by and when he realized something was going on, he asked what had happened. When he was told, he began shouting about demons defiling his granddaughter. Kagome and her mother – unbeknownst to each other – rolled their eyes. Mama tried to explain that he knew Inuyasha was human now, but he wouldn't listen. Kagome almost laughed about the silliness of it all, but something kept her from finding it humorous. Somehow, she still felt uneasy when she thought of Inuyasha's humanity. She had never wanted him to change, although some things were handy – like his dimmed sense of smell and hearing. But she hadn't wanted him to change, even if it meant that they couldn't have a baby together.

They hadn't spoken of it, since Inuyasha had never been ready for a relationship, and then when they were in one, she wasn't happy – especially not thinking about becoming a mother. But now she wondered. Would they have been able to conceive? In the Sengoku Jidai, quarter-demons were unheard of, since hanyou were so rare. It's possible that none existed at the time, but it was more possible that hanyou and humans couldn't have children together. That was easier to swallow than the thought that she and Inuyasha being the first of that pairing.

Eventually, Kagome grew tired. Her constant – though well-hidden – yawns gave her away and her mother told her to take a nap, but not without first insisting on a visit. Kagome tried to object, but the older woman would not hear of it, and said she would call with plans. With a sigh, Kagome finally hung up, glad to have it over with.

Inuyasha walked in a few minutes later, his heavy curtain of black hair tied up in a ponytail that made him look more feudal than he had a right to. "Everything okay?" he asked, having no idea what just took place.

Kagome smiled. "Everything's fine. Mom says 'hi'."

Inuyasha grinned. "Tell her I said 'hi' next time," he replied, moving to the sink to wash his hands, dirty from pulling weeds.

"You can tell her yourself. They're coming to visit," she announced.

He turned, his eyebrow raised in question. So Kagome proceeded to tell him of her conversation.

"Keh. I didn't defile you," was all he said.

~~~~~%~~

Two weeks later, the whole family was together again.

"How many weeks are you now, dear?" her mother asked.

"Thirty-two," Kagome replied, her voice laced with annoyance. She was too tired for all the hullabaloo, and her mother asked her this question constantly, as if it was going to change overnight.

Her mother grinned. "Two more months!" She said it in a sing-song voice, one that made Kagome roll her eyes.

After everyone was settled in their rooms, they had lunch together. Afterwards, Souta skipped off to see his secret girlfriend. He was more than happy to have an excuse to come back to Tokyo, since he thought he wasn't going to see her again. He had assumed the family get-togethers would happen in Shimane from now on. He was glad the country house only had two bedrooms.

Grandpa went upstairs to take a nap – Kagome laughed when her mother told her that he took as many naps as she did.

Inuyasha, dutifully making sure everything got done, went back to work.

And Kagome and her mother chatted as they cleaned up after lunch. A pained groan from Kagome alerted her mother.

"Kicking so soon after lunch?"

Kagome winced, forgetting to breathe. "No. Sango's… stretching."

Her mother nodded sagely, remembering that Souta had given her a hard time with stretching. The kicking was bearable, but the stretching could be downright torturous sometimes.

They had spoken of the name over the phone. Even though Kagome's mother had offered alternatives – names from their ancestors – the name was set in stone. Of course, neither would know that Sango was indeed a distant relative. The fact that she had been a sister to Kagome was enough.

After a half-minute, the stretching stopped and Kagome let out a breath. Now she was panting with the exertion as well as from holding her breath. Her mother patted her shoulder and told her to take a nap. Kagome tried to protest, saying she wanted to clean up, but her mother shooed her. Grateful for her mother's presence, Kagome climbed the stairs slowly, panting harder with the effort by the time she reached her room. However, she was asleep within minutes.

~~~~~%~~

Other than her grandfather trying to "exorcise" Inuyasha and Souta nearly being busted for staying out too late on the first night, the short visit was uneventful. Kagome was shocked when her mother offered to move back in to help with the baby and refused adamantly. After all, she had already raised two children – she deserved a break. Her mother tried to explain it was different, but Kagome wouldn't have it. She had Inuyasha, and that was all it took. Satisfied, the family took off once again. Her elders left first; the train to Shimane was waiting. Souta lagged behind, and he made one last call to his girlfriend.

"Why don't you spend the summer here?" Kagome offered. "You could see your girlfriend _and_ bond with your new niece."

It was such a delectable offer, he couldn't refuse. He almost tackled her, but remembered at the last minute and attacked Inuyasha instead, to the former hanyou's dismay. School was almost over for the year, and he had no obligations. Most of the kids wanted to go home every summer, so there was no harsh training then. If you were around, so be it. If not, it wasn't held against you. And so, plans were made.

~~~~~%~~

At her next checkup, the nurse ran over some quick things that she needed to know. Things would not get hectic still for another month or so, so they were all relaxed. They made more appointments – for her thirty-sixth and thirty-eighth weeks. At seven-and-a-half months, Kagome was considered as still having a bit to go. These would be the toughest weeks. More kicking and stretching, lactating, heavy backache, shallow breathing, constant peeing, fatigue, swollen ankles, and constant hunger, although she wouldn't be able to eat much at a time. This was what she had to look forward to for the next six weeks. It had already been present, but some of the symptoms – like the swollen ankles – had yet to appear while others – such as the labored breathing, kicking, and backache – were only going to get worse. Much worse.

With constant calls from her mother, Kagome never felt alone. In fact, she was sometimes annoyed – especially if it interrupted a nap or mealtime. Inuyasha would laugh silently when she scowled into the phone.

Then there were the visits from her friends. Kayo especially liked to spend time with her, and Kagome enjoyed the girl talk, even though Kayo was about a decade older. Her friends from middle and high school hadn't gotten to the stage that Kagome was in yet, so they didn't visit much. Hojo could barely stand to see her.

The nightmares had stopped. Memories of Sesshoumaru began to fade naturally. In her newfound purpose, she became the kind of woman she had always aspired to be. She was healthy, had a loving and supporting family, a great husband who adored her, and her mind was always occupied. If she wasn't flitting around the shrine talking to patrons, she was cooking – mostly for herself, but also for Inuyasha. She also spent a lot of time cleaning; Inuyasha was often grumbling to the shrine visitors about how his crazy, pregnant, wife wouldn't let him "come ten feet within the damn house without making sure I ain't dirty".

He wasn't serious, however. The elder men would nod their heads sagely, remembering when their own wives had been like that. The elder women would laugh in remembrance. And he would try his best to look like the sour, dogged husband. But whenever Kagome was near, his stormy eyes would light up like rainclouds that had suddenly cleared, and his smile was so bright you couldn't help but smile back. So no one took him seriously when he began to grouse; they would all sarcastically agree with him. Sarcasm was never one of Inuyasha's strong points. He never understood it, and often fell victim to it.

On the nights when Kagome went to bed early, Inuyasha would sneak into Souta's room – it was the teenager's idea, after all – and work on it. Kagome new nothing, and since she rarely went into any other room besides theirs – her old room – she knew nothing of the drastic changes. He worked in there whenever she was out, or when there were no visitors and Kagome was napping. But he would soon be done, and then he would show her.

Presents began arriving. Her mother had graciously bought them a lovely white crib, that Inuyasha – now familiar with tools of this world – put together himself. Kagome kept badgering him that they should convert one of the rooms into Sango's room, but he pretended to always be busy. She was sleeping so often that she couldn't always tell what he was up to. She was upset, but he knew the surprise would be worth it. Pink things showed up in multitude from friends and family. Before long, there was nothing to want.

With a healthy baby still growing, a loving family, a wonderful husband, great friends, a prospering shrine, and a happy life, it seemed that Kagome had everything she ever wanted.


	18. XVIII

A/N: Thanks to those of you that are still reading, reviewing, and loving this story. Fans of Inuyasha, please – no death threats (you think I'm kidding, but…). Thanks. Quiet Storm (MediaMiner) – I love you dearly. I hope this turns out the way you like, although I know you've become fond of 'human' Inuyasha.

ATTENTION! I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I have to go on hiatus for a few weeks. I've had some problems recently (I had out-of-town company for a few weeks, then I was sick for a couple more, then my mother was nearly hospitalized…) so I hadn't been able to update. NOW, I need to leave you all again, so I wanted to post this before I stopped. We're finally moving! It's silly, since it's only a few streets down, but we're moving in ten days – it came up very suddenly, so I'm not prepared. It's going to take all my attention, so I'm only going on the computer to read through emails, check messages/reviews, etc. So I'm sorry that the next chapter isn't going to be out as soon as you would hope. But I'm not giving up, I promise.

"_I'm looking to the sky to save me;  
Looking for a sign of life…  
Looking for something to help me burn out bright.  
I'm looking for a complication,  
Looking cause I'm tired of lying (trying)…  
Make my way back home when I learn to fly."_ **- Learn To Fly, Foo Fighters**

That's the Way Love Goes

Chapter XVIII

The doctor's office had called as usual to remind her that her next appointment was tomorrow at two in the afternoon. She remembered. And even if she could forget, the hyper-anxious father would remind her. He was on top of all the visits to the obstetrician, and he was increasingly jumpy as the weeks wore on. Part of it was the fact that there were only four more weeks left. The other part was that he was going to show Kagome the room he had finished for Sango tomorrow after they got back home.

She wasn't particularly looking forward to the visit, since they would be doing another ultrasound to make sure everything was okay. The last one hurt, and she was positive this wouldn't be any easier. Inuyasha tried to ease her mind, and she didn't want to worry him further, so she would smile and agree with him. And there was this nagging feeling that something was wrong. She didn't know why, but the suspicion that not all was well kept bothering her, even though she could feel Sango kicking, active as ever. Perhaps it was a good thing that they were taking another look at her tomorrow. It would definitely assuage her concern.

In the mean time, she wasn't particularly fond of Inuyasha. There was only a month left, and they still didn't have a room for Sango! She kept asking him, and even though he seemed happy, he kept putting it off. There was always something more important to do. Or there were times when – while she was asleep – he said he napped as well. And no matter how much he had done the previous day, he'd always have more to do the next day.

Well, she wasn't going to put up with it anymore.

"Inuyasha," she called softly while changing into something different for her appointment.

He popped his head into the bathroom. "What?"

Kagome resisted the urge to roll her eyes. He might be a great husband, and she was sure he'd be an even better father, but nothing could change his manners. "You really need to start converting one of the rooms. I've tried to ask my mother which one she thinks…"

"Kagome," he said, his voice strained. He knew there was an argument coming. He didn't like it; he was sure it wasn't good for Kagome or the baby. And he wanted so badly to surprise her. "I really have a lot to do today…"

Wrong choice of words.

Instantly, Kagome's old fire came back, and he began to prepare himself for a good 'sitting' when he remembered that not only were the Kotodama not around his neck any longer, but they wouldn't work even if they were there. He had no demonic blood. But that didn't make him less afraid of the look in her eyes.

"_Inuyasha_," she grumbled in the same low tone she had used that usually proceeded 'OSUWARI!', "you have been saying that for the past month. We need to put all that stuff somewhere, and it needs to be done before the baby comes home."

He wanted to be angry. There was something about Kagome's all-knowing tone that had always tweaked his temper, and he wanted to put her in her place. He briefly imagined doing so. 'You want a damn baby's room?' he would shout. Then he would drag her by the arm to Souta's old room and shove the door open. 'Here. Here's the damn room.' And then he would enjoy the shock on her face as she ate her words and pulled the foot from her mouth. But alas, it wasn't going to happen that way.

"I _know_, Kagome. Like I said, I've had a lot on my plate. I'll get it done, okay?"

"No, Inuyasha! It's not okay! You've been saying that forever! And I don't even see you starting! You sound like my mother! 'You have plenty of time, Kagome'. Ha! You'd think she'd remember how hectic this is! But nooooooo… You two seem to have the same disease – some kind of illness that chills you out when you should be panicking!"

Her voice had gone up to a shrieking level at the end, and Inuyasha was glad for his human hearing.

He sighed, and almost gave in. But there wasn't time. She'd just have to be mad at him for a little longer. One thing's for sure, she'd have to give it up tonight for all the yelling she'd been doing. "Okay, Kagome," he said a little too patronizingly, holding his hands up as if in surrender. "I'll do it as soon as we get back, okay? Your mom said to go ahead and do Souta's room, so…"

"You talked to my mom about it?" she interrupted in a typical mood swing. "When was this? Wait… forget it. But all his stuff…"

She turned, and started to walk out of the bedroom, presumably to check the state of Souta's room, which she didn't remember entering in quite some time. Inuyasha jumped to catch her, and managed to both scare her and get a hold of the long, flowing skirt she was wearing. He had uttered something similar to a shriek, but it sounded something like "no!" Her heart pounding over his reaction, Kagome whirled, looking at the hand that was mostly hidden within the folds of the skirt.

"Inuyasha," she gasped, "what is going on with you?"

If he had thought he was panicked before, he was sadly mistaken. Because now was the time to panic.

He looked down, finding it hard to lie. "Um… I, uh… that is… we don't have time. Because, er…" He looked up at her to find her scowling at him. "Kuso! Can we just go and you can do whatever you want later?"

"Why are you in such a hurry, Inuyasha?" She was calmer now, obviously using some of the techniques she had learned to meditate.

"Well, look at the time, Kagome!" he said, exasperated now. He just had to get her away from the house, and he was reaching for excuses. In truth, they had plenty of time. "I mean, there's gonna be people everywhere, and…"

"But that doesn't matter now. You know that ever since I got pregnant, I haven't had any… er, pains." She hadn't explained the whole situation to him, but it had slipped out that she had been feeling uncomfortable around sick people.

"Yeah, I know," he replied, rubbing the back of his neck with a rough palm. He was running out of excuses.

She looked down at his other hand, which was still clenched tightly into her clothing. Sighing, she glanced at the clock. They probably should leave…

"All right. Let's go," she told him, still unsure of his silly antics. The feeling of anxiousness still curled deep in her, like a cobra getting ready to strike at the first provocation.

He seemed desperate to keep her from going any further. Even though she had promised to leave, he held on to her skirt as he used his free hand to reach forward, grasping her own. Then he attempted a nervous smile, and she reciprocated with her own. She felt jittery, like a single impala in the middle of the savannah – ready to bolt. Between her own panicky feeling and the fact that Inuyasha seemed to be just as nervous was making her crazy. Perhaps taking it slow and getting her fair share of fresh air would be good for her. As it was, Sango was kicking like she was trying out for the J-League Soccer Team. She felt Kagome's frantic nerves, and she didn't like it one bit. _Just like Sango_, Kagome thought. _Trying to calm the situation with violence_. She had to smile at the memory of her friend swinging her Hiraikotsu around at them when they fought amongst themselves.

Man, she really missed Sango.

Now Inuyasha was leading her, tightly gripping her hand; he was probably ready to jerk her away should she attempt to stray off his path. Once downstairs, however, he loosened his grip. Kagome couldn't believe how ridiculous he was being. But she had promised, and so together, they exchanged their house slippers for their shoes and left.

That didn't make her any happier with him.

Annoyed, she stayed silent for the majority of the trip down the stairs. God, how did her mother do this? Twice! It's true that she shouldn't complain on the way down, since that was easy by comparison – it took almost an hour to go back up those steps. But just the jostling that occurred during the wobbly descent was enough to make her wish more than ever that her ancestors had built something like a lift into the grand scheme of things. It would have helped when she was younger, carrying up groceries. And it would have helped now.

Inuyasha, made mellow by both his now-clean blood and the fact that he was to become a father, helped her as much as he could. He held her hand, steadied her, and when she was near the bottom, he would pick her up and carry her. She was heavier, and he no longer had the strength to cart her around endlessly like he once did, but he could manage a flight of stairs. Angry as she was with him, Kagome couldn't deny that it felt good to be carried the short rest of the way down. But it wouldn't be the same, stubborn Kagome if she hadn't ignored him and refused to say 'thank you' while she was being carried. Even once they were both back on solid ground, she just heaved a sigh of relief and kept going.

The streets of Tokyo weren't too bad at this time. Kagome preferred to walk rather than take the always-crowded subway. That and the train's rocking motion made her nauseous. So they always made sure they had time for both the stairs and the walk there. The only downside to all this was that once she was home, Kagome was completely exhausted. She felt like she had just done battle with Kagura, Naraku, Byakuya, the Band of Seven, Moryoumaru, and Kanna at the same time. By herself. She would go to bed when they finally got back up the stairs – Inuyasha would carry her up the other set of stairs, inside the house, or she would fall asleep on the couch – and would only wake up for a few minutes to eat whatever take-out Inuyasha had procured. Then she would easily fall back asleep for the remainder of the day. Luckily, this only had to be done once a month, but since she was so close, her doctor now wanted to see her in two weeks. Ugh, two weeks.

Inuyasha knew she was purposely giving him the cold shoulder. It was very typical Kagome behavior, if not amplified by pregnancy hormones. That didn't matter. When they got home, she would be even angrier when he asked her not to go to sleep immediately; he had something to show her. He was not anticipating this moment, knowing how cranky she got when something came between her and sweet oblivion. But everything would be washed away when he opened Souta's room and saw her face. She would know that he had worked on it for some time.

Of course, a few things were missing. Items that friends and family had brought or sent to them had been piling up in the living room. One day, Kagome had nearly tripped on a small box that had fallen over; she hadn't seen it because she couldn't see her own feet. When her heart had slowed enough for her to speak, she had gone on a rampage, telling Inuyasha that everything had to go, and if that meant the garbage – since there was nowhere to put it all – then so be it. She didn't care how badly she needed a changing table.

He had seen it as an opportunity. She was livid, and most likely would not want to do this herself. He had stepped in, playing the good guy and winning her over.

"Kagome, let me find somewhere to put all of this, okay?"

She was on a precipice. "Why do I even need all this crap!" she bellowed. "I mean, do I really need this many baby bags?"

He agreed, but he didn't want her to think throwing everything out would solve everything. This was his chance. "You take a nap. By the time you wake up, everything will be on a shelf or closet or somethin'." This was partly true. He hadn't lied. Except… She would know there was no room anywhere for the crib. "I'll leave the crib here. Think you can manage goin' around it?" he said teasingly.

She glared daggers at him but stomped up the stairs. This was good – it meant that not only could he save these things from the garbage, but he could store most of them where they belonged. She hadn't been suspicious because he hadn't put the crib away, but he had saved a spot for it in Sango's room. Most of the things had indeed been unpacked and placed somewhere in the room.

Of course, she would probably rearrange things now, after she saw it. But that was what he had intended. He wasn't one of those – what did Kagome call them? Interior designers? – people that knew where everything was and picked out colors and crap. Hell, he had only gotten the idea after he had found some leftover pink paint from Kagome's room. It had been old as hell and a little crusty, but it had worked. Souta's room had been a green color, but it was separated halfway down by a wooden border. The light green was still bright and clean, so he had painted the bottom half, which had just made it. There had been exactly enough to paint that portion; he was grateful, because otherwise, he would be using the leftover green paint to cover what he had just painted.

Kagome had slept long that day and he had diverted her attention when she had awoken.

"Inuyasha… do you smell that?"

His ears – had they still been white, fluffy triangles atop his head – would have been a dead giveaway and would be laying flat against his head. "Er, what're you talkin' about?"

She sniffed a few times, and he found it amusing. Surely, if he had done it, she would have made a comment about his sense of smell…

"It smells… I don't know. Kinda like paint." She sniffed a few more times. "You really don't smell that?"

He averted his eyes. "No. I don't smell anything unusual. Maybe it's that super-smell you have now, picking up something on the wind."

Only Inuyasha would make it sound like she was scenting the air like a dog.

"I don't know – it smells close. And fresh…"

"I dunno, Kagome. I don't smell it. By the way, I picked up some takoyaki-"

Instantly, Kagome's stomach growled loud enough for both to hear, and she was suddenly ravenous. "Really? What else did you get?"

"Well…"

It was too easy. It wasn't hard to read Kagome's body nowadays. She only required three main things: sleep, food, and the bathroom. These were the things that she spent her time with. Of course, she didn't spend much time in the bathroom, but it seemed like she was on the toilet at least thirty times a day. So now that she had woken up, he had known food would be the next resource she required. Unless…

"Oh! Give me a second," she said before waddling to the small bathroom on the ground level of the house.

Inuyasha chuckled as he began to lay out the food. Bathroom or not, she would only smell the food once she was done…

It was a good memory, but he couldn't share it with her until she knew the truth. Tomorrow, after she woke up, he would tell her, and she would laugh. But right now, she was still simmering from their spat. As was her style, she didn't let it go once, even when they were sitting together in the doctor's office with other pregnant couples chatting away. Not even when they were in the room, the nurse hovering over her with an instrument that let you hear the baby's heartbeat.

She had looked over her shoulder at him once – a cold, glaring expression – when the doctor had asked happily, "So, are you ready?" It had been obvious what he had meant – if Kagome was ready for childbirth and what came after. But she had purposefully taken it another way, twisting the words to find her own meaning. Inuyasha was disheartened to see she was still furious. She had told him that when pregnant, the hormones caused you to forget things. That would come in handy now, but unfortunately, she remembered their conversation with amazing clarity. The location of her keys was an entirely different topic…

"No," she said, looking at her obstetrician after leveling her husband with a dangerous expression.

The man saw the interaction and started to feel uncomfortable. "Okay, so we have another measurement to do, and then in two weeks…"

They had been on their way home when he finally decided enough was enough. Trying to dissolve her foul mood, he thought another apology would suffice.

"Listen, Kagome, I'm really sorry about everything, but don't you think you're taking it a little overboard…?"

He was positive that had he still been hanyou, he would have heard her blood pressure skyrocket. Her face almost turned purple. With her age, she had learned to keep the public outbursts to a minimum, so she wouldn't yell at him here. Oh, no. She would wait until she got home and then unleash the fury in which hell hath no.

That didn't mean that right now, she had to be walking next to this infuriating, awful, inconsiderate bastard…

With what sounded like a strangled cry, Kagome instantly turned towards the street, attempting to cross to the other side, where she wouldn't have to be near the jerk in question. Of course, she did not think to wait for the crosswalk. Or a red light.

"Kagome!" Inuyasha shouted as a car zoomed past her. He raced to catch her, his hand outstretched as if he were the one that needed saving and she were a life preserver. When he reached her, there was no time.

A delivery truck was racing down the street, the driver looking out his window at a pretty, underage middle schooler who had hiked up her skirt. He turned his gaze back to the street just long enough to see the very pregnant woman in front of him, not looking where she was going. With a stomp, he sent the truck teetering to the left and right, but for him, too, there was no time. He was going to hit her, and he couldn't move to the side because another car was next to him.

Because he had done so for years, and since he had done it so many times before with no thought of consequence, Inuyasha did the only thing he could do. Not seeing the car that was hidden next to the truck, he launched himself at his wife, hoping to push her far enough out of the way that she wouldn't be harmed. He only hoped the baby would survive the impact…

Kagome had heard his pained cry and looked back, only to see the crazed expression and the outstretched arm. That was when she realized, and she looked up to find a man in a truck – a horrified expression on his face – barreling towards her, brakes screeching and fishtailing wildly.

In slow-motion, her world stopped revolving. She knew one thing was certain. Either she or Inuyasha were about to get hurt badly. And in that instant, her heart stopped for a second. In that second, a voice, smooth, dark, and seductive, spoke to her.

"The wish was to be one of pure selflessness. If not, there will be consequences…"

And then, there was nothing.

~~~~~%~~

Those that had witnessed the accident were horrified, some to dream about it for the rest of their lives. The few that had bolted into action – calling the police, holding back other witnesses, and one had tried in vain to apply pressure to a wound on Inuyasha's leg that bled fiercely – would feel better about themselves, but the ones that had stood by and watched would regret it for the rest of their existence.

When the police had questioned them, they had gotten the same story: the pregnant woman had simply walked into traffic. The man, presumably her husband, tried to save her. But he had failed, and he had been struck. The woman, thrown to the floor, had also been struck, but by a smaller car. Later, a witness that had not seen the accident themselves but had been absentmindedly watching the truck driver had come forward, saying that they saw the driver looking away, and couldn't stop until the last second. But it had been too late for everyone.

The young man that had been driving the car was taken into custody to serve time, but since it could not have been avoided and it was not on purpose, he was out in a matter of months, having paid for the crime. The truck driver also had gone to jail, but would be in there longer; the testimony that had he been paying attention this would have been avoided, weighed heavily with the judge. He would spend many years in jail, and his wife would divorce him, especially after finding out the reason he hadn't been paying attention. His roving eye had become a local topic, with talk shows criticizing teenage girls for their clothing and mothers warning about lecherous men. Men cautioned each other about leering at young girls, using Kagome's story – not even using her name, since it had been forgotten, although the tale had become famous – as an example of how it can ruin your life. The young girl who knew it had been her fault turned to Buddhism, haunted forever by the sight of the blood and the still, pregnant, mangled woman that was closest to her. Even the police that had been on call and came to the accident site would call this one of the worst things they had ever seen.

~~~~~%~~

Groggy from constant drugs and weak from disuse of her muscles, she could do little but groan, and even that hurt her throat. In an instant, there was a flurry of activity.

Her mother rushed to her side, joyous tears suddenly rushing down her face. She was yelling to the nurses that her daughter had woken up, and Kagome found it odd that they would know what she was talking about, but they all came running a few moments later. Her mother, still crying, was pushing her matted hair from her face and was practically indecipherable. Several seconds later, her old grandfather had wobbled over to the bedside, obviously slower than the others. He had been praying, she noticed. There was no sign of her brother, but she knew that he couldn't possibly be signed out of school and get here that quickly. In fact, she was puzzled as to how her mother had gotten here in such a short amount of time. And what's more… where was Inuyasha?

It took her a moment, but then it came to her mind. With a hiss, she managed to move her neck to look down at herself and was thrown for a loop. She was thin as a rail, the product of a liquid diet. But… where was Sango? Had she only dreamed all of this? That was the only explanation. Her mind whirled as she began to imagine that it had all been a product of her mind: her marriage to Inuyasha, her pregnancy, her family moving away… perhaps it never happened? That would explain why her mother was already here. And why Inuyasha wasn't. And then, out of nowhere, a voice echoed in her mind.

It was Magatsuhi, the evil force behind the Sacred Jewel.

And with his words, Kagome came crashing down.

~~~~~%~~

The nurses who had come scrambling in had checked all her tubes and monitors, and some were amazed that after so long, the young woman had opened her eyes. _Poor thing_, they thought. _She can't even speak yet_. They had called for a doctor, and he was currently rushing down the hall to see her. But the nurses were untrained and unprepared for the next thing that happened. One of them noticed Kagome looking down at herself, presumably wondering about her baby. Another noticed her heart monitor suddenly skip and jump around, then race ahead. And another noticed her sudden wide eyes that realized what had happened.

The shriek that met his ears was incomparable, but the doctor – although hoping that it wouldn't happen on his shift – was prepared for the wakening of Higurashi Kagome. Many things had happened: she lost her husband, she lost her child, and she had suffered much damage. So he had known at once where the pained noise was coming from. He had already called to a nurse to get him the medicines required to calm her, but she couldn't be on drugs forever. Eventually, she would have to be told what happened and she would have to suffer through it without the lull of painkillers to melt it away.

Once inside, it pained him to look upon the scene before him. Kagome was flailing about, attempting to remove the IV's and tubes that had been sustaining her. It was almost amazing that whatever pain she should be in only came second to whatever grief she was encountering. The nurses were trying to calm her and one was readying the straps that would hold her limbs in place. Her mother, normally so calm, was frantically trying to reach her daughter with words, but to no avail. Once he was by her side, she turned her liquid blue eyes to him, still fighting with the nurses who were trying to keep her from doing more damage to herself.

"What happened?" she cried. She turned to her mother. "Where's Sango? Where's Inuyasha?"

Doctor Mizayaki had had a few conversations with the stoic woman and knew she was one that usually kept her cool. She took things in stride. But that façade was gone now, with her daughter's wide, panicked eyes focused on her. A tear escaped, then another. In only a few seconds, the mother was crying, and that told his patient all she needed to know.

Shocked momentarily and most likely not comprehending her mother's actions, Kagome was still long enough for the nurses to secure her arms and legs in the Velcro straps. Suddenly, the nurse that he had instructed to fetch the sedative was by his side. She thrust the needle into his hand, and he eyed the young woman. For a few moments, Kagome was practically catatonic. Then, finally, she looked up at him.

"How long have I been here?"

He looked down at her sadly. "Higurashi-san," he said in the most low, grief-stricken voice he could muster, "you have been asleep for over three months."

It took a second, but when it clicked, he knew he had no choice but to put the poor girl that had just woken up back to sleep. With her arms now safely restrained, he injected one of her tubes with the drug cocktail he held. And in a few seconds, Kagome's limbs became heavy, her words slurred, and her vision went black.

~~~~~%~~

Kagome woke once again to the sound of beeping. This time, her head swirled with fogginess. It took almost two minutes for her to remember. There had been a truck, and Inuyasha had pushed her out of the way, as he would have with a demon. But there had been no demon, and he was no longer hanyou. There was no Tessaiga to save them.

She still didn't know what happened – she wasn't sure she wanted to know. All she knew for sure was that she hurt like hell, and it was hard to move. She assumed this was because she hadn't moved for… how long had the doctor said? Three months? Again, she looked down at her again-flat stomach. What had happened to Sango? Remembering her mother crying when she had asked about her family, there was little hope. But she needed to know, even if it was bad.

She attempted to look around, and realized it was almost dark in the room. Only a single florescent light illuminated the room from above her bed. The movement hurt her neck, and she winced. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness of the rest of the room, and she found her mother sleeping in a rather uncomfortable-looking chair that extended so that her legs were straight out in front of her. But even though it looked like it was anything but a fitful slumber, Kagome let her rest; she seemed as high-strung as Kagome herself, and that really was unlike her. So Kagome sat in her bed and waited for someone to be able to answer her questions. Eventually, she fell asleep, the drugs still active in her veins. But as she drifted off, tears fell down her face.

The next time she woke up, it was light out. Her mother was not there, but a nurse was checking a monitor near her bed. She moved her head to see if it still hurt. It did, but not as badly. Well, that was dandy. That only meant she had much to look forward to as she moved more parts of her body. More days of pain, as if she needed more.

The nurse noticed she was awake. With concerned eyes, she leaned in close. "Are you all right, dear? Can I get you anything?"

The way she said it made it clear to Kagome that what she was really asking was 'Are you still crazy? Should I call for a doctor to sedate you again?' Kagome shook her head, answering both the spoken and unspoken question.

When she was alone once more, Kagome forced herself to think about the situation. It felt like just a few hours ago – Inuyasha was with her, and she was having a baby. Had she really been here for so long? One glance towards her midsection confirmed it.

Cautiously, she forced her sore arm towards the blanket, pulling it down. Now she could see just how flat her stomach was. Her muscles were thankfully not as sore as she had imagined, so she pulled up her gown, amazed at all the tubes that were protruding from her body. She wanted to turn away, but forced herself to keep going.

Just below her pelvis, there was an angry, pink scar. It was long, and had healed over, but was a reminder that she would never be rid of. They had cut her open. Either to save the baby inside her, or to remove a dead child. Somehow, she couldn't find the energy to cry.

Suddenly, the door swung open on silent hinges. Her mother, carrying a cup of coffee, ran to her side.

"Oh, Kagome! Finally! They kept telling me that you were awake, but I never got to…" After a moment, she had noticed that Kagome was indeed half-naked. She had been looking at the emergency cesarean. With a sigh, she sat on her daughter's bed, careful not to disturb any of the tubes that were still nourishing the body they were attached to. There was a long silence, and she searched Kagome's face.

Kagome found it hard to look at her mother, so her eyes wandered everywhere. As long as they didn't touch upon the warm chocolate color, she would be fine. In the meantime, she had to know.

"Inuyasha?" she whispered.

Her mother looked away finally, unsure of what she should say. "Dear, are you sure…?"

Kagome found the strength to pin her mother with a glare. "Inuyasha?" she asked again, her voice more stern.

Chewing on her bottom lip, the elder Higurashi thought about the consequences of telling the entire story. But it was better to get it over with. Otherwise, Kagome would blame her later when she found out the truth. She nodded in defeat and began.

"The witnesses say that he pushed you away from the truck. But… there was another car that he couldn't see. And likewise, the driver couldn't see either of you until you were in front of him. His car was small, and he hadn't been going very fast, but he still hit you. It was hard enough that Sango…" She drifted off, her own eyes misting. "Kagome," she said in a tone that made the younger woman shiver. "Honey, they had to remove everything."

Kagome nodded, knowing that they would have to remove the child inside for risk of infection. But her mother repeated the words more slowly, and she understood. _Oh. Everything. That meant…_

The sudden look on her daughter's face told her she understood, and she clarified. "You can't ever have children. There's no uterus…"

Well, that suited her just fine. She had nothing. No Inuyasha, no baby, no one to love, no one to share her life with… Did it matter that she couldn't have any more children? No. It was the least tragic thing to occur. So she asked again. "Inuyasha?"

Her mother seemed to snap out of her stupor, obviously thinking of her own loss – she would never have grandchildren from Kagome. "Inuyasha… He took a lot of damage. The truck had been too big, going too fast. The driver hadn't been paying attention… By the time they got him to the hospital…" She didn't have to finish for Kagome to get the idea. "But, Kagome, I want you to realize…" She took her daughter's now-pale, fragile, tube-ridden hand. "He had no idea. He thought he was saving you both. His last act was to sacrifice himself for his family."

The words cut through Kagome's mind like a dagger through muscle. The pain was so harsh, so unforgiving, so detrimental, that she couldn't breathe. The monitors she was attached to started to sound off.

"Oh, I knew I should've waited…"

Kagome was too far gone to notice anything else. Nurses rushed in to check her vitals, and they spoke to her, but she didn't hear them. Eventually, a doctor rushed in and administered a shot of something that numbed her. Her mind, thankfully, grew foggy once again, and she soon drifted off to sleep.

This time, when Kagome became conscious, it was her brother by her side.

"Oh, Souta, you didn't need to come all the way here…"

"Uh, sis… I just finished my first year."

She still had to deal with this whole waking-up-three-months-later thing. It bugged her that she missed a quarter of the year, lying in bed. Even if it was for a good reason. "Right," was all she managed, looking sheepish.

"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry," her mother cooed.

Oh yeah, that's right. "It's okay, momma. I asked for it, right?"

Kagome watched her mother purse her lips.

Souta could see the tension building. He decided to intervene. "Kagome?" he said, catching their attention. "Do you still want me to stay with you for the summer?"

"Oh, that would be a huge help, Souta. Are you sure you'll want to?"

"Sure! Plus, you'll need some help at the shrine. I brought all my stuff with me anyways," he told her with a grin.

This was what she needed. Her little brother's unending enthusiasm and smiling face. She understood why her mother was so somber, but it was making her feel worse.

"Well, would you like me and grandpa to-"

"No!" Kagome said a little too quickly. She saw Souta fight back a snicker. "I mean, grandpa shouldn't be doing all this moving around. And this is the best time of year in Shimane. You should go back. I'll be fine with just Souta – I promise."

Mrs. Higurashi seemed to debate it but finally relented. "Well, okay, if that's what you want," she told the siblings. "I think they're going to let you go soon anyways. Your leg healed last month and your ribs should just about be okay, although the doctor has to call it, not me."

Kagome looked dumbfounded. "My… wha?"

"Oh, right. Kagome, dear, in the accident, you broke a few ribs as well as both arms and a leg. Your arms healed quickly, and your leg, too, but your ribs have been stubborn, despite the fact that you haven't moved until now. That will probably be your next checkup."

"You have a really neat scar below your knee from where the bone was sticking out," Souta said enthusiastically, not realizing the sickly shade of green his sister was turning.

"Souta!" his mother chided, batting him on his shoulder.

He finally noticed Kagome's expression and felt bad instantly. "Right – sorry about that. I mean, it's cool to me, but I guess you wouldn't like it…"

Kagome barely heard the conversation her brother and mother had after that. Now she had a huge scar where they had taken many precious things from her, and another that would show the world that she had been through something traumatic every time she wore a dress or skirt.

A few seconds later, her grandfather came in from the lounge where he spent most of his time watching TV and relaxing in the more comfortable chairs. Soon, they all began chatting, trying to include Kagome to keep her mind off things. But it was always there; the reminder of what she had lost in the blink of an eye.

How naïve. She already knew how suddenly you could lose everything that was precious to you.

~~~~~%~~

It took a few days, but eventually the doctors let her leave. They were reluctant; not because of her ribs – which had healed perfectly – but because of what she had been through. Kagome knew that behind closed doors, they were talking about how suicidal she may be. So she tried to convince them otherwise, smiling when she could and getting up often to walk around the hospital and in the garden they kept for patients to visit. Of course, she was always supervised.

Legally, they couldn't keep her once she was sound, so they released her with anti-depressants and a hotline number. Kagome thought it was ridiculous. She wasn't going to off herself! If she was capable of such a thing, she would have done it two years ago, when… Well, anyways, she wasn't going to kill herself.

She hadn't expected how hard it was going to be. One look at the shrine steps, and she remembered all the times Inuyasha had patiently helped her up the towering staircase. And then she remembered why he had to help her. And she began to cry.

Souta, feeling helpless, could only watch as his sister wailed it the base of the stairs. He tried to console her once, but she swatted him away. Instead, he took their bags up and into the house. After twenty minutes, Kagome dragged herself up the stairs, her hardly-used muscles making her tired. She panted as she walking into the kitchen, out of breath. But then she remembered her 'wedding night' and began to weep all over again. Souta began to question his decision.

Kagome went upstairs and headed straight for her bed. Souta had planned to stay on the couch, but when he went upstairs to check on his sister a few hours later, he could still hear her crying in her room. He thought about knocking; he should check to see if she wanted to talk or if she needed anything – food, water, a good sleeping pill – but she sounded so helpless that he couldn't bear to disturb her. So he let her be, knowing she was more than capable of fending for herself. After all, this was Kagome, his sister who had survived a whole year chasing after the worst threat to Japan that ever was. Then she survived heartache at the hands of Inuyasha's brother. And now she had lost Inuyasha himself. He would be lying if he said he wasn't hurting as well – Inuyasha was a great friend, and the best brother-in-law anyone could ask for. And he had lost a niece, too. But it was worse for his mother, and neither of them could fathom how Kagome felt. True, their father had died when they were young and their mother had mourned deeply, but Kagome had lost a husband and a baby that she hadn't even known. Their mother wouldn't have to feel the pain of losing a child. And so they would allow Kagome to grieve however she wanted.

The next morning, Souta checked on Kagome first thing. He was slightly pleased to hear that she was in the shower – hopefully not drowning herself – and knocked lightly on the bathroom door.

"Yeah?" she gurgled.

"Just wanted to know if you want anything for breakfast. I was gonna make some omelets…"

There was a moment of silence before the water cut off. Then, a few seconds later, Kagome appeared through a crack in the door. With a meek smile, she poked her head out.

"That would be awesome, Souta," she told him before closing the door once again.

After dressing, Kagome went downstairs, the smell of real food pulling her towards the bright, sunny kitchen. She smiled, watching Souta folding the eggs as he'd seen their mother do, a look of intense concentration on his face. She let her presence be known as she moved next to him and took the spatula. He oddly seemed both relieved and worried at the same time. Kagome almost laughed. What did he think she was going to do? Slap herself to death with it?

Even though her brother had thrown it together, Kagome felt much better after eating substantial food. She couldn't imagine missing eating, since she had no idea she was unconscious. But it seemed that her body knew, and it was grateful for her favorite morning food – eggs. Now came the hard part.

Everything reminded her of Inuyasha, Sango, or both. Luckily, the shrine was still closed – her mother had placed a notice downstairs when the accident had first happened, she was told. But it seemed that the only thing that didn't break her heart was her duties as priestess. The house… it was full of memories. But Kagome wasn't sure if her body was physically ready for shrine work, so she let it go for now.

Eventually, she took the dishes to wash, to Souta's protest – what was it this time? She was going to drown in the sink? – and found it mostly painless. It was only her own brain – her stupid, thinking brain – that kept thinking about them. So the day wore on: she tidied up her room, watched some TV with her brother, made lunch… It was mostly dull. And worst of all, nothing took away the pain for more than a few seconds. She briefly wondered if she _should_ take those anti-depressants.

Dinner rolled around, and Kagome found that even though she still thought of them, it was mostly Sango that remained in her mind. As she made rice, she remembered how the little girl would kick at the scent of it, and Kagome found herself alone in the kitchen, clutching at a flat stomach. At the same time, she was grateful that she had something to do. If Souta wasn't here, she probably wouldn't cook, and she would spend the entire day in bed, only getting up to use the bathroom. Souta's presence made it a little easier.

The days wore on, and Kagome didn't stop thinking about the things that had changed her life so dramatically. But it became easier to think about them. Happy times with Inuyasha turned out to be easiest to think of. One day, approximately two weeks later, she realized something: Souta had come here not just for her, but also to be with his girlfriend. And he hadn't left the house except to buy groceries. She didn't even remember him being on the phone. It was sweet, in a way, how self-sacrificing he was; similar to their mother. But it was unacceptable.

"Souta," she said, approaching the topic during dinner that night, "why don't you go see your girlfriend? She's one of the reasons you had wanted to stay with us – er, me."

Souta's head snapped up to see her expression, but she seemed fine. "Are you sure?" In truth, he was dying to spend some quality time with Suki, but he had a cell phone now, and he spoke with her often; Kagome was usually upstairs at night, and since he was sleeping on the couch, he had privacy. Sometimes, he even met up with her at the market, and they would speak and hold hands, then part ways again.

"Yeah. I mean, you gotta be so bored…" Kagome said, rolling her eyes for effect.

"I'm not bored, Kagome. I have plenty to do around here. But you're right, I'd like to see Suki. Are you sure it's okay?" he said, his voice laced with concern.

Kagome stared at her brother with sad, deep blue eyes. He began to worry, but then she reached across the table and ruffled his hair, her expression unchanging. "Yeah, I'm sure. Oh, Souta. You're growing up so fast. Time flew by…"

Understanding now what she meant, he swatted her hand away. "Yeah, but I'll always be your little brother."

This seemed to cheer her up, and she smiled. He couldn't help smiling back. "Hey, Souta," she asked suddenly.

He just stared, waiting for her to continue.

"Why are you sleeping on the sofa? Why don't you sleep in your own room?" She seemed genuinely perplexed, but his heart immediately stopped, then restarted.

A cold sweat broke out on his face, and his mind raced for an answer. Damn it! He should've known! Their whole family knew – through their mother – about the secret baby room. Had she not seen it yet? Why didn't anyone remind him?! He could've changed it back in all this time! His stomach swirled as he thought about Kagome's reaction if she saw the room now. She seemed good; seeing it could destroy her.

"Uh… Kagome… I, uh…"

"Oh!" she said suddenly, her voice pitched in surprise and a grin on her face.

It was so sudden that Souta was shocked quiet.

"Wow! They're back!" she exclaimed with triumph. Then she turned to her brother. "Souta, what's wrong. You feel so sick… did the tuna not agree with you?"

This threw him for a loop, and he forgot about the room. "What? How could you possibly know…"

Kagome grinned. "Well, I haven't had them for a while, but I guess now that I'm not pregnant anymore…" She trailed off, but shook it off, determined not to let anything spoil her mood.

It took a while, but she explained to her brother how she could "feel" the maladies of others by being in close quarters with them. She hadn't felt it in a long time, and although 'nauseous' wasn't at the top of her list, at least it told her that she was returning to normal. She was practically glowing with pride.

Souta had been stunned – had his sister really gotten that powerful? And why didn't he have any powers? Well, if she had felt his stomach turn, he wasn't sure he wanted those powers. And speaking of turned stomachs…

"Kagome," he said in such a dark and serious tone that her face instantly turned into her 'fighting' expression – eyebrows drawn, eyes intent, lips smashed together. He almost laughed, knowing that years of chasing dangerous demons must have created this side of his sister. "Kagome, don't go in my room, okay?"

She seemed offended – what's so big about it? At worst, he could have some girlie magazines, right? And even though it wasn't a pleasant thought, it was bearable. Anyways, she wanted to do something special for him. Tomorrow, she would clean out his room and make it livable. God only knows how much dust there must be in there. And he probably was too lazy to clean it, which was probably the reason he still slept on the couch. He couldn't spend two more months sleeping on the sofa when he had a perfectly good bed upstairs!

"Kagome," he said, his voice interspersed with something that almost sounded threatening. "_Promise me_ you won't go in my room."

She didn't understand why he was being so private about it, but if it eased his mind… Anyways, he'd be grateful once he had a soft bed to sleep on. "Sure, no problem," she said with a smile.

The next day, Souta went out to see Suki, and said he'd bring back groceries on his way home. Kagome waved goodbye, telling him that she had things to do. If he had known her better, he would've seen through this; known she was up to something. But even though there weren't too many years between them, they had never gotten so close as to be able to predict one another. Inuyasha would have seen through her. Sesshoumaru would have handcuffed her to the sofa.

~~~~~%~~

Four hours later, Souta returned for dinner, as promised. He had bags of food in his hands, and he was whistling, happy for the first time in weeks. But in the fading light, he could tell that the lights were not on in the house. Suspicious, he ran the rest of the way up the steps. When he raced into the kitchen door, he dropped the groceries on the floor. Kagome wasn't cooking, as he'd expected at this time of day. And he knew for certain now that there wasn't a single light on. Then, he heard it.

A keening wail came from up the stairs. Souta's stomach dropped so low, it might as well have left his body. Racing up the stairs, he knew where to stop. And it was there he found her.

His old bedroom door ajar, he found Kagome slightly inside, on the floor, curled in a ball. She had vomited nearby, and it made his stomach twist into knots. But the worst part was the crying. It looked like she had been crying for hours. And she had torn at her clothes – the tee shirt she had been wearing no longer had a midsection. She had been clawing at her stomach.

With no other choice, Souta lifted his sister and carried her to her bathroom. The thought of undressing her overrode his emotions, and he put her in the tub, fully dressed. He turned on the hot water, and left to assess the damage. After he had cleaned up the vomit, he returned to find her unmoved, but still crying. He shut off the water and closed her door.

That night, Souta spent hours dismantling the room and removing all evidence of Sango.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

End Notes: I hope you don't want to kill me by now, but this was the plan from the beginning. Inuyasha had to die. Fear not: it wasn't in vain. He died protecting Kagome, and that's the way he would have wanted it. I warned you this story was a drama, and wherever I can (Mediaminer, Paperdemon) I have labeled the story as a "tragedy". Not every site has this category, so it's not heavily known. And no – I don't 'hate' Inuyasha. Also: please forgive my absolute ignorance in the knowledge of Japanese babies/the hospital system. I have no idea what kinds of things they use (or the doctors they see) there, so if you know for a fact that they don't have baby bags or cribs or whatever, I'm sorry – I just was too lazy to look it up. The other thing is my lack of knowledge of the Japanese judicial system. For all I know, they could be doing public beheadings or perhaps their rules are stricter. I have no idea. But again, I was too lazy to look it up, so I modeled it after our own criminal punishment system. Sorry if I'm wrong. And before you ask – NO, Kagome can only feel genuine sickness in people, not things like emotions. Sorry for the big cliffie! I'll make it up to you all when I come back!


	19. XIX

A/N: Some of you – who, I'm guessing, didn't keep up with the scanlation of the Japanese manga – don't know who Magatsuhi is so I'm going to explain a little about it in the chapter. So, if you're up-to-date, I'm sorry for the repetitiveness. **WARNING! CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE END OF THE MANGA! I WRITE IT AS IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED! I DID NOT MAKE IT UP!!! If you're not up-to-date, you may not want to read this chapter!**Please read End Notes for more info!!!

Also: I'm REALLY sorry about the wait, but I had major surgery on June 10th, and the recovery took a while. As soon as I was well enough to sit at my computer long enough to write, I did, but I have SO MANY PROJECTS. And my life is a bit more hectic these days, so I'm not able to just sit and write as I used to. But I promise you, the drive is still there – I'm not giving up on my stories. To make it up to you – a long chapter!

"_Show me the meaning of being lonely.  
Is this the feeling I need to walk with?  
Tell me why I can't be there where you are…  
There's something missing in my heart." _- Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely, Backstreet Boys

That's the Way Love Goes

Chapter XIX

What was he supposed to do? Kagome swore him to secrecy – she didn't want her mother and grandfather coming back to Tokyo to take care of her. But he was leaving for school in a few days. And she was barely eating, she wasn't looking after the shrine, and the house was a mess. He did what he could, but he wasn't sure how these things were done. What did you use to dust? What do you clean the toilet with? And exactly how much detergent are you supposed to use in the washer?

Luckily, he was able to handle the visitors at the shrine. Suki even came over often to help with certain things. Of course, the main problem was that they were down one priestess, but in the light of things, they would manage without her. They made enough money to pay the bills and stock the kitchen. But money was the least of Souta's troubles.

It was one thing that she had seen the room; he had known that it would be devastating if she found out. But she seemed to be blaming herself, and that was the crux of the problem. The few times he approached her on the topic, she started crying about how it had been her fault – if she had taken care of the jewel – that Magatsuhi had taken a sacrifice. Souta had no idea who or what she was talking about, but perhaps this was part of the grieving process?

He mentioned yoga – knowing it had helped her before – but it only made her more upset. He tried to make her take the antidepressants, but she laughed sarcastically at him, telling him that she deserved her fate. It was so unlike her, so out of character, that he was going to call their mother, which was when she cornered him and forced him to promise not to. She waved off his concerns, telling him she would be fine.

Of course, Kagome didn't believe this for one second. She knew she was far from fine. It was bad enough that she had seen Inuyasha's surprise – how long had she nagged him about the baby's room? – but she also felt awful that their last words were in the form of an argument. Why did she have to be so damned stubborn? Why couldn't she have just let him be? That morning, he had been anxious not to let her go in the room. He had said, 'Can we just go, and you can do whatever you want later?' Obviously, he had been planning to unveil the room that day, when they came home. But they never did. And Inuyasha would never come home again.

This thought always set her off in a fit of sobs, which was why she spent most of her time in her room. She hated the fact that Souta would hear her, and she tried very hard not to cry loudly at night. Sometimes, though, it was too much. And she was afraid to sleep: with her slumber came haunting dreams. Sometimes, she would relive the accident, those sinister, dark words curling around her like a snake; other times, she remembered the shock when she opened Souta's door, expecting his bed and dresser, but getting a crib and pink teddy bears instead; and then there were the flashes of images that upset her most. This series of memories consisted of her previous dreams – the ones where she dreamed of a hanyou child, one with a crescent on its' head and stripes on its' wrist. It also included golden eyes and silver hair that she knew didn't belong to the one she called 'husband'. And always, she would get the sensation of _his_ youki brushing up against her, gentle and soft, calling to her.

Souta was glad to leave. He could barely sleep anymore; his sister's screams waking him at all hours. Of course, they had woken her, too, which was why he always raced into her room to see if she was all right. But she would always wave him away, citing another bad dream. She wouldn't tell him what she was dreaming of – whether she was too proud or too ashamed, he wasn't sure. But the time had come for him to go back to school to start his eleventh year, and he had been telling her all week that she needed to be prepared, otherwise he was going to call mom. That was enough to whip her into shape enough to start doing things around the house. She began to visit with shrine patrons, but sometimes, they would ask about her welfare, or how her husband was, or the baby… Souta would take over then, explaining to them what had happened while Kagome cried in her room. But he had warned her now that she would have to deal with it herself, and in a rush, he was off.

Kagome had never felt so alone in her life. She was even cat-less: when the accident happened, someone had to feed Buyo, so when they went back to Shimane, her mother and grandfather had taken the portly feline with them. The house was completely lifeless. She felt worse than ever for treating Inuyasha the way she had; she had taken him for granted. But she also knew that she hadn't been in the relationship for love – she missed him now because she missed her friend. She was grieving more for Sango, and mostly because she had become connected to the child.

And there were always the whispers in the back of her mind. They came from her subconscious, but also from her memory. Some of it, she'd lived. Some of it was born from her dreams. And there was always the one time that it had called to her, right before the accident.

"_The wish was to be one of pure selflessness. If not, there will be consequences…"_

It was as if that evil force of nature couldn't rest until something had been done with the jewel, and even then, it had waited until the opportune time to strike. And it had been her fault, because if she had done what she was supposed to – if she had wished the jewel into oblivion, as was her duty – Inuyasha would not have been able to use it, and would still be alive. After all, it was his wish that had doomed them both.

She remembered when they first learned of him.

"Magatsuhi is the spirit of the youkai trapped within the Shikon no Tama!" Miroku had yelled after Sesshoumaru cut the evil being with Tenseiga. "He's not a being of this world!"

It hurt, remembering that moment.

A few seconds later, Magatsuhi's physical body had pierced straight through the Taiyoukai, and she remembered the dread that ran through everyone. Sesshoumaru had become quite the ally, and although she hadn't loved him at the time, thinking of the way the sharp bone protruded from his chest caught her breath. Everyone had thought Inuyasha's brother had finally met his match… even the hanyou fought valiantly to get his brother back.

It turned out to be the best thing to ever happen to Sesshoumaru.

They should have known that after all the times Inuyasha had been pierced completely through, this would not take Sesshoumaru down. He overcame Magatsuhi – and his own, great father – and blasted through, coming out with a new arm… and a new sword, Bakusaiga. And what a sword it was. This new sword was able to keep eating away at the thing it cut, making it even more powerful than Tessaiga. In the end, that was Naraku's downfall. But it hadn't worked on Magatsuhi, who was not a solid being, but a collection of spirits.

_It was from that fight that my powers were sealed by Magatsuhi. And I didn't get them back for some time_, she thought. Knowing that Kagome could very well be the end of them, he locked away her spiritual powers, rendering her useless. And then that accursed spirit used Kohaku to injure Sango, almost kill Miroku, and harm Rin. All the while, Sesshoumaru thought he was hunting the actual spiritual body of Magatsuhi, which turned out only to be Byakuya, the illusionist. They were all being toyed with.

Of course, she herself was taken captive by Naraku as sort of an insurance policy. But one thing remained – although her powers were sealed, Kagome could see the jewel. And after informing Sango and Inuyasha of its' location, she was rendered unconscious by the evil hanyou. Even after Sango's new and improved Hiraikotsu failed, they kept at it. And it was Kohaku that came up with the solution – for Naraku wasn't going to let Kagome go, even though he promised to in return for the boy's Shikon fragment.

Afterwards, Rin was taken by Naraku, and a piece of Naraku's body that was overlooked and left behind took Kohaku's shard. That event completed the Sacred Jewel. Of course, the light that Kikyou had embedded in that shard before she died didn't go with it, so the jewel was completely tainted by Naraku – but this was done on purpose, because soon after, Kohaku came back to life. This time, it was real – not a borrowed life like the shard had given him. Kikyou, with her death, gave life to another. With that, the group took a break.

Kagome remembered graduating Middle School that weekend – she was glad to be moving on. But there was no time. She got back to her friends in the Feudal Era as soon as possible, and everyone went after the two evil forces. Even Sesshoumaru, who had learned that Rin had been abducted. They were actually counting on the Taiyoukai to take out the evil collection of spirits, hoping that it would give Kagome her powers back. But things weren't always as they seemed…

Naraku, more powerful than ever now that he had the power of the completed jewel, literally appeared to them in the form of a humongous, sky-blocking spider. They all entered the body of the giant arachnid, knowing that Rin was inside. Sango and Miroku on Kirara, Inuyasha and Kagome, and Sesshoumaru all went their separate ways, all trying to find the best path to the jewel itself. They were now inside Naraku, and he wouldn't be defeated easily without removing the jewel from his body. And they wouldn't dream of sacrificing Rin. Well, that's what Kagome thought, at least.

They learned that Magatsuhi – all the youkai trapped within the Sacred Jewel – wanted the souls of the proud fighters. But this also meant that the jewel was using Naraku. They should have paid more attention to that fact. Even Naraku had told them that Inuyasha could not easily destroy his fate with the Shikon no Tama. Now, Kagome knew this to be absolutely true.

Remembering the next part was hard – not because she had lived through it, but also because she had spoken of this with Sesshoumaru when they were together. He had saved her then – when Inuyasha's body and mind had been taken over by Magatsuhi and turned to his animalistic, demonic side – and kept his brother alive despite his wanting to destroy the evil spirit. When Kagome's blood broke through to the crazed hanyou, he was able to keep a hold on his human side. When the spirit tried then to take over Kagome's body, the brothers worked together to keep her safe. It ended with Dragon-scaled Tessaiga capturing Magatsuhi, and Tenseiga dissolving the spiritual body. That was when Kagome's power was released, and came back to her tenfold.

They had known for a while now that Kagome was supposed to be incredibly powerful – more powerful than Kikyou had ever been – but the jewel had been suppressing her power ever since she was born, the youkai within fearful of the young girl's spiritual power. But now, all of it was fully released, and Kagome finally felt whole. But that wasn't all… Inuyasha, who had still been half-way between his hanyou and demonic self was purified by her strength, allowing himself to be fully hanyou once more, such was her power. Furthermore, she dispelled Naraku's jyaki, which was hiding Rin's scent from Sesshoumaru's nose.

As the elder brother took off in search of the little girl, Kagome and the younger brother sought out the Sacred Jewel. Shippou and Kohaku, tired of being the only ones left out of the fight, also entered and were looking for their friends. But Naraku had one last trick up his sleeve.

Separated from his taijiya fiancé, Miroku woke up, half-dead and alone. His Kazaana had opened too much, and he was literally dying. But Naraku's plan was put into place: suddenly, a light appeared which Miroku took to meaning that Naraku would be where the end of that light source was. The same light appeared to Sango, who was now mourning Miroku, whom she feared had purposefully left her to die, sparing her the sight of it. When she saw the light, she immediately assumed what the monk did – Naraku was at the end of that light! Of course, she knew that killing Naraku would save her beloved's life, and this became the single most important thing to her. And the most dangerous for everyone else.

Following the light, Sango was presented with an image of Naraku which she presumed was the real one. But there was something else. This illusion had in its' possession the real Rin. It used Rin as a human shield, knowing that either way, it would win. If Sango murdered Rin in her attempt to 'kill Naraku', the tainted blood would fuel Magatsuhi further. And possibly start a war, seeing as Sesshoumaru wouldn't take it too well. If she did not kill Rin, it was assumed that the monk would die of his curse.

In the mean time, Miroku had also reached a false hanyou, and was planning to swallow him whole with his Kazaana, knowing it would also end his life. Inuyasha had followed the monk's scent, and they found him, but Naraku made it impossible for Miroku to hear or see them. The houshi attempted to open his hand to suck in the Naraku that stood before him, but Inuyasha reached him just in time, holding the man's fist closed and sealing them with his beads once more.

Sango was ready to cut through Rin to get to Naraku, and Kohaku had arrived on the scene, but was unable to get through to his sister, whose thoughts had turned so dark that she couldn't hear or see him. In fact, she had become so tainted with hate and fear that she had loosed Hiraikotsu, and Naraku watched on in pleasure, knowing all would be over for the group as soon as Rin's blood was shed. Of course, the evil hanyou didn't take into consideration the fact that Kagome had learned a few tricks; she had focused intently and found the true location of Naraku and the jewel. She shot one of her arrows, and when it hit, the illusions of Naraku disappeared. Rin started to fall, and it was just enough that Hiraikotsu slipped harmlessly by, missing Rin by inches.

Rin was safe – Kohaku caught her – but the damage was done. Byakuya purposefully told her that Naraku had been an illusion, and she was going to sacrifice Rin for nothing. It darkened her even more. Kagome remembered Sango telling her in the good times later on that the despair – the knowledge that she had been willing to sacrifice a little girl's life to save Miroku – was worse than thinking she would lose her fiancée in the first place. She thought she could redeem herself by telling Sesshoumaru he could kill her when the fight was over. But it was unnecessary. Unbeknownst to Sango or Kohaku, the Taiyoukai had become more compassionate, and let it go. Of course, he didn't tell her this. When Kagome had discussed this with Sesshoumaru in their time together, she had laughed; that was so like him, letting Sango sweat.

With the illusions gone, Naraku damaged, and Rin safe, everyone headed towards the real Naraku. Sesshoumaru was barred from entering, but Sango, who had been harmed by the shouki that was released, was ready to die with Miroku, fueling the jewel even more. Kagome tried to get into Naraku's head, and figured out that Naraku's true wish had been to be with Kikyou. Instead of his own precious bond, the jewel had tainted him, making him attempt to destroy bonds. This was how everything had started – he tried to separate Kikyou and Inuyasha, and had succeeded. Angry with Kagome, he launched an attack and Inuyasha counter-attacked. Because he was pouring his soul into it, Tessaiga's ultimate attack – the Meidou Zanghetsuha – had transformed so that instead of a gaping hole into hell, there were spears that could cut through anything. Soon, all that was left of Naraku was a head. But the jewel was powerful, and Naraku could still regenerate using its power. Sensing something, Sesshoumaru was finally able to cut a path into the area where the others were fighting. And when he cut, the amazing Bakusaiga began to consume Naraku from the inside, allowing everyone to finally do some real damage. But Byakuya, the quiet, obedient detachment, had stolen Meidou Zanghetsuha's power with a special sword and dealt Kagome an invisible blow with it. Kagome recalled the feeling - she knew something had happened, but there was so much going on, she wanted to focus on Naraku.

The group continued to help each other, united by signs of hope – Miroku's hole was slowly healing in his hand, and Hiraikotsu was steadily absorbing the shouki that was being released as Naraku's body was being eaten away. But then Naraku gave himself fully to the Shikon no Tama, gaining strength once again. The gas emitted from the broken parts of Naraku's body was stronger than even, and Kohaku and Rin were ordered to leave. The gigantic spider-ball that had enveloped everyone, however, was starting to fall from the sky towards Kaede's village. Everyone got out, trying to cut away at Naraku as quickly as possible to save the village from the deadly shouki that would surely kill any villager that touched it. A deadly blow from Sesshoumaru sealed the deal… only the head remained of the evil hanyou, but the jewel remained. Finally, in a moment of pure human-ness, Naraku remembered Kagome's words to him and allowed himself to think that yes, Kikyou's heart had been the only thing he had actually wanted from the jewel, but the Shikon no Tama had not granted his wish. In this moment, Kagome was able to shoot an arrow at the jewel, hitting it. It separated the jewel from Naraku, and the time had come. With that, Naraku vanished, never to plague the world again.

---------

But the jewel could never be forgotten. It still called evil beings to it, constantly putting everyone's life in danger. Kagome always remembered her grandfather's advice. _'When the last person who holds the Shikon no Tama makes the right wish, the jewel will disappear from this world.'_ Kagome knew now what that wish should have been: to wish the jewel out of existence. It was, in fact, a purely selfless wish. Because – if her theory was right – it would have sent her back to her own time and separated her from Inuyasha. But the jewel would have been gone, because she would be making a wish that would not benefit her, but would be good for the whole world.

Instead, she foolishly followed her heart and kept the jewel nearby, allowing it to call out to demons that would come after the village in search of it. She was allowed to stay with her friends, but at what price? In the end, nothing had happened between herself and Inuyasha – he had said he wanted her to graduate first – and she had fallen in love with Sesshoumaru. He had reciprocated those feelings, so she was more reluctant than ever to wish the jewel away. And then, in a blur, she had lost everything when his memory had returned with a vengeance.

Now that she thought about it, that despair may have brought the jewel to life. Perhaps it had called to Inuyasha, promising him a good life if he used it to become human. But that had been a selfish wish – he had known that Kagome wouldn't fully give in to him until he was human because he reminded her so much of Sesshoumaru. He had done it for himself; he had used the jewel to become closer to Kagome. And now, they paid for it. She could still hear Magatsuhi whispering to her, telling her exactly why this calamity had befallen her:

"_The wish was to be one of pure selflessness. If not, there will be consequences…"_

Had he wished the jewel away, he probably would have returned to the Sengoku Jidai, but they would both be alive, with only his heartbreak as a casualty. So this was all her fault. It's true, she wouldn't have had Sango, but apparently, she wasn't meant to anyways. And now Inuyasha, who had fought so valiantly against the worst evil ever known to the planet, was dead. From being struck by a truck. How stupid was that? And so Kagome wallowed in shame and pity for several weeks.

One day, she had a visit from someone she hadn't seen in some time. The once cancer-stricken woman was healthy as ever, bounding up the shrine steps as if she had never even suffered a cold.

"Kagome! There you are!"

Kagome was actually glad to see her, even though her face didn't show it.

When Kayo took a better look at the scrawny, disheveled, sad girl in front of her, she wasn't quite sure if it was, indeed, her friend. This was not the same strong girl that had cured her with her strong spiritual power. This bedraggled-looking creature looked like it had been chewed up and spit out by a dragon.

She took Kagome's hand, leading her to a bench. "Kagome, I'm sorry, but… you look awful."

Kagome shot her a dark look. "_Excuse me,_ Kayo. I've only just lost my husband and child. Perhaps I should make myself up next time you come over."

"That's not what I meant, Kagome. And sweetheart… it's been six months. Don't you think it's time-"

"_What?_"

"What?" Kayo repeated, puzzled by Kagome's tone.

"What did you just say?"

Kayo worried that she had offended her friend. "I didn't mean that you should-"

"No, no…" Kagome interrupted again, "What did you say?"

"That it might be time for you to-"

Kagome sighed. "Before that."

"That it's been six months."

"It's been… six months. That means it's only been three months. Can't you be a little more…"

It was Kayo's turn to interrupt. "Kagome, honey… It's been six months since you got out of the hospital. Oh, you poor thing. You must be in your own little world…"

Kagome looked like a deer in the headlights. Except that she had already been hit by a car. "Six… months…?"

Kayo nodded slowly, her regenerating hair swinging softly.

She had no idea. How could it have been that long? She hadn't heard from her mother, but it seemed like it had only been a week since her mother's last call, in which almost nothing was said and Kagome told her mother she was 'fine'. It was so repetitive; Kagome couldn't recall exactly when the last phone call was, so perhaps Kayo was telling the truth. Well, she had no reason to lie, but… Really? Six months?!

"Listen, Kagome. I know these things take time, but from what I've seen and heard, maybe you should… you know, talk to someone." Kayo put a hand on her friend's shoulder as she spoke gently.

Well, this sounded familiar. Except… "Wait, what do you mean, 'from what you've heard'?"

Kayo looked away quickly. "Well, it's not like everyone is purposefully looking in on you…"

"It's not?" Kagome snipped sarcastically.

"Well, Tetsu heard from Megumi that you still didn't look so good…"

"Megumi?" Kagome asked. She hadn't seen the girl in months. How could she have known her condition?

"Yeah. She visits you now and then. Well, to be accurate, she visits the shrine," Kayo explained gently.

"But I haven't seen her in a long time. If she comes here, why doesn't she say 'hi'?" Kagome said, feeling hurt.

Kayo sighed wistfully. "She told me that she doesn't presume to know how you feel. She's never lost anyone before, and she couldn't fathom what you were going through. When she thought she was going to die, she regretted not being able to get married and have children. So to hear of what happened… it was a shock. But until you seem able to talk about it, she's not going to force you to be pleasant."

Kagome was shocked. For a girl that was younger than Souta, she was quite wise and thoughtful. And completely right. No one could really understand what she felt, especially since no one had any idea how many layers there was to the whole mess. She had not told a single soul about what she now called "The Curse of the Sacred Jewel", and no one knew that she, in fact, had not truly loved Inuyasha as he deserved. This didn't mean she didn't mourn the loss of him, but not as a husband. More like the best friend she could ever have.

"Wow," was all she said, and Kayo agreed with a nod.

Soon, Kagome found herself offering tea, something she hadn't done in a long time. She shuffled around in a daze, noticing how there were groceries around, even though she hadn't been to the market in quite some time. In fact, everything seemed fuzzy, as if she had been living in a fog. Did this mean that she didn't remember going to the market recently, or that she hadn't been eating again?

Later, when she took a shower and saw her reflection, she knew it was the latter. After all, there was no one here to force her to eat.

When Kayo left, Kagome found herself smiling. It was a meek thing, barely a lifting of the corners of her mouth, but it was real all the same. They made plans to do it again soon, and then Kagome was alone again, closing the shrine for the night. It was so different now. She had been woken from the trance by her friend's visit, but now she felt the pain sharply. She had been numb before, blocking out the horrific accident, only to think about it in her nightmares. But now it was clear, and she was forced to think about it.

That night, instead of dinner, she had sake.

~~~~~%~~

A few years after Kagome's birth, Katsuo invited Sesshoumaru over for the triumphant birth of their son, Souta. He went, bringing presents. He tried to avoid the stare of the little blue-eyed, ebony-haired girl that he knew would grow up to be so radiant she would rival the sun. It actually hurt to look at her, knowing that he was still so far from her.

Katsuo found Sesshoumaru on the steps, watching young Kagome play under Goshinboku. He patted the demon on the shoulder.

"You're not having unhealthy thoughts about my six year old daughter, are you?" he asked playfully.

But Sesshoumaru seemed truly stunned. While he did, admittedly, have private thoughts and vividly remembered their lovemaking, he never thought those things while looking at this younger version of the woman he still loved. He did, however, note how the sun still brilliantly played off her slightly wavy hair. He could feel the spiritual power within her, nowhere near the amount she would have when she was older, but much less than it should be – he assumed it was the jewel's doing. That accursed Magatsuhi. Oh, how he longed to rid her of the jewel right now… But no, that would change the future, which was the purpose of his staying away from Kagome.

He remembered her tanned skin, and realized that it wasn't just from being in the harsh Feudal Era, but even now, she loved the sun and being outdoors. And her fearlessness! When an older boy tried to pick on her, she did not back down. Instead, she kicked him in the shin and knocked him down. That had made him laugh – something he hadn't done in a very long time.

But that day had to be the last. He had told them that he didn't want to risk her remembering him, and although he would miss them, he would have to keep his distance. If she were ever away, however, he would enjoy a visit. They all embraced, said their goodbyes, and hoped for not too long a separation.

But fate had other plans.

Sesshoumaru had accepted an invitation by Katsuo to meet him in the city, away from his family. This was adequate, so the youkai drove down from his home to Tokyo. Sesshoumaru had arrived first, so he sat in a booth at the restaurant, awaiting his long-time friend's arrival. He sighed, noting that the man was late, as usual. He stood, ready to go in search of Katsuo, when he heard a loud crash and a woman screaming. Sesshoumaru rushed outside, his stomach in knots. Sure enough, the mangled form of Katsuo was lying in a pool of his own blood. The car that had hit him had stopped momentarily, the man inside looking around, wide-eyed, as if he were weighing his options. Sesshoumaru smelled gunpowder on the man, mixed with his friends' blood that tainted the air. And he could hear the others approaching, obviously looking for this same man. Apparently, he had been very bad today. Sure enough, three police cars came screeching around the corner, their sirens blaring.

The man in the car decided to take off, but he didn't get far. Risking everything he had, Sesshoumaru moved so quickly the criminal had no idea what happened. In a blur, he had raced to the rear of the vehicle and grabbed a hold of the bumper. The engine was no match for the Taiyoukai's might. Especially since said demon was losing his grip on reality. He was trying very hard to not let his beast take over – it wanted the blood of this man. Once the man stopped trying to drive away, he simply opened the door, attempting one last getaway. But Sesshoumaru quickly ended that. With a deadly grip on the man's neck, he allowed his claws the extravagance of lengthening. They quickly dug into the man's flesh, and the skin sizzled with the acid that came from the claws.

He cried out, but it was barely heard. The police were now getting out of their cars. The woman who had seen the accident was yelling at them, pointing to the car. Sesshoumaru threw the disgusting human back into the car and turned to Katsuo. He was undoubtedly dead. Never without his age-old friend, Sesshoumaru turned his gaze to Tenseiga, which was craftily hidden under a trench coat. But the healing sword would not respond. Sesshoumaru knew for a fact that it still worked, as he had saved a young boy's life a few months ago from a frozen lake he had fallen in to. Here, he expected the sword to pulse, eager to slay the little pallbearers of death. But Tenseiga lay still.

Angry, he ducked into an alley to remove the sword from its' sheath. Here, in the 1980's, the police would be wary of a man with a katana in an alley.

"Tenseiga, why do you not speak to me?"

The sword was dormant.

"There lays a man," he said, his arm thrusting out towards the accident scene, "who needs us. Would you deny him?"

Silence.

Angrier than he had been in a long time, he threw the sword to the ground. Sesshoumaru paced for a bit, not sure what he should do. If Tenseiga refused, he could not force it. And the sword would certainly have a reason to defy him. Attempting to clear his mind, the youkai thought about the connection. He wanted so desperately to save this man. Not only was he a good friend, but he was Kagome's father.

And there lay the problem. He had forgotten that Katsuo was fated to perish at a young age. Kagome had spoken briefly, saying she barely remembered him. She had also said that he had died in a 'car accident', but at the time, he hadn't really known what that was, or how awful and sudden it could be. And he had never dreamed that he would be right there when it happened. Or that he had the power to change it.

But… should he? Even if he forced Tenseiga to do his bidding, was it forbidden? Could it change everything? If Katsuo was around, would Kagome still come to the Feudal Era? And would they have defeated Naraku? Would she still have fallen in love with him, or would her love for her family have kept her in her own time? Surely, this would be meddling with time.

He was ashamed to give up, but Tenseiga was right. This was meant to be, and there was nothing he could do about it. With a sigh, he picked the heirloom up and tucked it back into his coat, hiding it from view. Now came the hard part – telling Katsuo's wife that her husband would never be coming home.

She was never the same after that. Luckily, he had never told them of Tenseiga and the powers it held, but she still seemed to blame him, as if he could have prevented the accident. She took to grieving for some time, and soon thereafter, Sesshoumaru disappeared from their lives.

Years later, while in his office, he heard the sound of several police and medical vehicles racing somewhere. He turned on the TV, and soon thereafter, there was a special announcement about a breaking story. It told of a man who had died pushing his pregnant wife out of the way of a truck, and how the woman was being brought to the hospital, her condition still unknown.

Sesshoumaru's heart literally froze in his chest.

He reached for her with his youki, but could not sense her. This could only mean one thing. She was very close to death.

He had used his clearance to once again check on her. It seemed to be very beneficial to him to be the CEO of a company that manufactured new medicines; the person in charge of trying out such drugs in this hospital had come to trust him and therefore, he was given clearance that many others didn't have. As was such, he was able to get to the surgery floor and sure enough, saw Kagome's name on the board there. And the blood… Oh, there was so much! He was shaking from head to toe, attempting to keep his beast from roaring out in pain. Obviously Kagome needed them – if she died, Tenseiga wouldn't _dare_ defy him – but he didn't have enough clearance that he could simply walk into a surgical room.

Then an intern asked if he was alright, breaking his concentration. Seconds away from bursting into his furry, menacing, very large form, he ran away as quickly as was "humanly" possible. Outside, he was able to find a dark area where he hid, trying to fill his lungs with fresh air. But the damage had been done. The memory of the scent of her blood had not diminished throughout the centuries, and it brought on a wave of depression. The last time he had smelled her blood was when the demon had attacked her – right before they fell in love.

With a flash of movement, Sesshoumaru left his car and ran to his home, all the way in Hokkaido.

Later that week, he returned to fetch his car. He sought her out, half-hoping she would have gone home. Unfortunately, she was still there. He could feel her now, her bright aura now dim and black. With his superb hearing, he learned that his brother, in human form, had perished in the accident. He also learned that Kagome had lost the baby she was carrying.

The emotions were raging within. He had been trying to deny to himself that he was insanely jealous that she had been pregnant with his brother's child. It should have been he that had given her children. Beautiful, healthy, hanyou children…

He was brought up short by his own thoughts. He had toyed with the thought of having children with Kagome simply to satisfy his beast – he had to be sure he had wanted every aspect of her. But he was practically strangled by his overwhelming need now to have a family of his own, and with Kagome. And the fact that he instantly thought of them as hanyou… well, that just reassured him.

Along with this, however, he was also feeling extremely guilty for having such thoughts. The child – a girl, he had learned from hearing Souta speak on the phone – would have been his niece, and would still be family. This meant that he had lost two family members. He had never been overly fond of Inuyasha, but he had owed the former-hanyou some respect for surviving what he had, and anything remotely close to happiness for the child's death was squashed ruthlessly by shame. How could he think such things?! But at the same time, his long-dormant beast called out that Kagome was _HIS_, and should have been bearing _his_ children. It wasn't easy to live with. And so he stayed away, hoping the feelings would fade, similar to mourning.

But he couldn't stay away forever…

~~~~~%~~

Funny how things worked out. She was still having nightmares – which were not as frequent anymore, thanks to her talks with her friends – but she was having dreams of Sesshoumaru. Often enough that it made her want to cry. Why was she dreaming of him so much? She hadn't seen him in years, didn't know for sure if he existed in this era, and she had just experienced something extremely traumatic. Shouldn't she be dreaming of her dead husband? Or her child? Of course, there were the bad nights where she relived that day, but not of happy times with Inuyasha, or the child she imagined inside her. She spoke of these things with friends and family – what Sango would have looked like, with ebony hair and perhaps eyes that were a combination of her parents – bluish-grey – and so she vented in this way. But she had spoken to no one of Sesshoumaru, so perhaps this was her mind trying to unload itself of her memories?

Still, it was not the same. Sometimes, she dreamed of things that had never happened. One night, she dreamt that she and her youkai were walking through the trees on the shrine grounds, their hair dappled in the sunlight. Once, she dreamed that he had come home to her, bringing a present. She had been cooking dinner, and had been surprised. When she hugged him in gratitude, he swung her around the kitchen as they kissed passionately. The worst one to bear had been a steamy dream of the two of them making love in her bed, and it had been long, dragging her from her sleep with her own moans. These dreams made her angry; why did she have to dream of someone that didn't want her? Why was she thinking of someone she couldn't have? Why couldn't her dysfunctional brain just think of her dead husband and child when she was asleep?

It had worked before, so about eight months after she had been released from the hospital, Kagome started doing yoga regularly again. It controlled her rage, and the dreams lessened, but only the nightmares. She was frequently dreaming of Sesshoumaru, and her sessions taught her to put away the anger that stemmed from having said dreams. But she found herself drifting to them more and more. She was counting on them now, imagining that they had actually happened. She was lying to herself, and soon it was as if her husband had actually been Sesshoumaru – that it was he who had died in an accident and left her alone with her memories. This only served to depress her, and Kayo told her so.

"Kagome, I really think you should talk to a shrink," the cancer-survivor told her friend.

Kagome frowned. "C'mon, Kayo. I think I've been doing pretty well. I'm dealing, aren't I?"

Kayo sighed. "You're dealing, but not in a healthy way. You're barely talking about Inuyasha or Sango anymore. You just talk about your ex. That's not healthy. You realize you're substituting, right?"

Kagome cringed at the criticism. Yeah, she knew she was certifiable. But she was happy when she was in la-la-land with Sesshoumaru. After all, her imagination was finally giving her the happy ending she wanted but couldn't have. "Regardless," she said quickly, not letting the older woman finish, "I think I'm good enough that I don't need a psychiatrist. What are you trying to say, that you're not good enough to talk to?"

Kagome's attempt to be coy hadn't worked. Kayo narrowed her eyes on her friend. "This isn't on me, Kagome. You don't even give me details about this ex of yours – only that he was gorgeous and extremely good in bed. Not that those aren't great, but you won't talk about your actual relationship. And you won't talk about the reason you two broke up, or how you two met, or really anything! And you certainly will never answer the question of why you've transferred your grief onto your obsession with this ex whom you claim you'll never see again! I mean, come on! Is he dead, too?! You're ridiculous, Kagome. And if you won't tell me, then I'm dragging you by your pretty black hair to my old shrink. Got that?" Kayo was practically out of breath after her tirade, and panted angrily before sipping her tea.

Kagome was momentarily shocked. Kayo was right, of course. But she couldn't involve another person in her crazy past. Plus, it would open a whole new round of wounds, to speak of Sesshoumaru in such a real sense. At least her dreams were dreams. The fake ones were easiest to ignore, since she knew they hadn't happened. But there had to be a reason for them. And perhaps a psychiatrist could help her get to the bottom of it. Grudgingly, she agreed to be willingly dragged by her hair to Kayo's therapist.

~~~~~%~~

Kagome was scared out of her mind. She had, in fact, offered to talk to a psychiatrist. However, she had not completely thought about what she would say to this person.

'_Say, I used to be able to travel back in time to the Feudal Era and I met a hanyou who is now my dead husband, but before we got married, I was with his brother, who was full-demon. You see, he wasn't himself when we first got together – that aristocratic bastard – and once he came to his senses, he sent me packing, and I never got over him. Of course, I wound up back in my own time with the hanyou, but he wished himself to be human so he could be with me. He did that with the Shikon no Tama – did I forget to tell you I was born with a powerful jewel inside me that contained the souls of a bunch of demons and a priestess? And that I shattered it by accident and we had to hunt the shards down to put the jewel back together before this evil hanyou used it to take over the world? Yeah, that's how my husband and I met. Well, we got pregnant, and because my husband made a selfish wish, the jewel took his life and that of our baby. I'm still kinda paranoid that I'm next, and now I'm having all sorts of dreams about my ex – the youkai. Do you think you can help?'_

Yeah… That sounded like a one-way ticket to looney-ville. Of course, it might be nice there…

Well, at least _she_ knew she wasn't crazy.

Later that day, as Kagome sat on the comfy black sofa, she wondered if she should have used her original explanation.

"So, Higurashi-san, how is your relationship with your mother?"

Kagome scowled at the woman opposite her. What the hell did her relationship with her mother have to do with anything? "Just fine, thanks."

"_Just_ fine?" Tanaka-san asked, a slight rise to her brow.

Kagome could hear the question within the question and it pissed her off. Closing her eyes, she slowly took in a lungful of air before expelling it. "Yes, it's fine. My mother is great. She always knows when something is wrong, and how to fix it. She always supported whatever I wanted to do, and kept my grandfather off my back. She's pretty much perfect."

Tanaka jotted a few things down. "So, you two speak often, then?"

"Well, no…" Kagome admitted.

There was that damn eyebrow again.

"We used to, but not so much anymore."

"When did that change?"

Kagome thought for a moment. Well, it really changed when she came back from the Feudal Era after Sesshoumaru had wrung out her heart. And then it got worse when Inuyasha and Sango died. "Er, well, I had this relationship, you see…"

"A serious relationship?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, he was my first and all…"

"Hmm. And this boy, you loved him?"

"Yes, I loved that _man_."

"Did he love you?"

Kagome felt like crawling into the corner to die. Her bottom lip began to quiver, and her nose stung with unshed tears. But she refused to let them fall. "At first."

"I see," Tanaka said. "So this affected your relationship with your mother?"

Grateful for the subject change, Kagome nodded. "Only after he left me. I was depressed, and didn't want to talk about it with anyone."

"And so you pushed your mother away. Why?" The woman crossed her legs, making Kagome uneasy.

"I didn't push her away… I just didn't want to talk about it."

"Why not? You used to tell her everything. She might have been able to help you."

"She couldn't help me," Kagome rebutted, her temper starting to flare. "She had no idea what I had been through."

Her patient's tone had no effect on her; Tanaka smoothly asked more questions. "You said earlier that she had lost her husband when you were young. How is it that you believe she knows nothing of the loss of a loved one?"

"It's different," Kagome groused.

"How?"

"It just is." The priestess' voice was a growl now.

"It cannot just 'be', Kagome. There must be a reason. What is it?"

"I don't know," Kagome said, attempting to deflect the question.

It wasn't working. Tanaka had seen all kinds of people, and she knew two things about Kagome: first, she was hiding something big. Second, it seemed like her mother was not the parent she had issues with. "Kagome, if we're going to get anywhere, you need to be open and honest."

"I know!" Kagome wailed. "But you don't understand! I can't tell you everything! There are parts of my life that could only be trusted to my family. And it used to take such a toll on them!"

Ah. Now we were getting somewhere. "Kagome, why do you think it was a burden on them, this secret of yours?"

"My grandfather constantly had to make excuses for me for missing school in the beginning. Then my mother had to put up with a foolish daughter who didn't want to further her education – instead, I took over the family business, and I can't even do that right now! And now Souta. Poor Souta. I dragged him into all of it and then he wound up taking care of me. I'm the older sibling! I should be taking care of all of them!"

"Kagome… why do you feel the need to take care of everyone else? Why can't you let someone take care of you for once?"

This left Kagome flabbergasted. "I… It's just that… This is the way it should be. I should've been there. I should've been able to help them. It's just that when Sesshoumaru broke up with me, I only thought of my own misery. And then I went ahead and married his brother… Oh, gods! What did I _do?_"

Tanaka was astounded. So, her husband was the brother of her first love? Well, that was enough to do some serious damage to the female psyche. But there was more that Kagome wasn't telling her, she just knew… "Kagome, why was it so awful that you married his brother? After all, you yourself said he didn't love you any more…"

Kagome flinched at the words. "Because I didn't love Inuyasha. I mean, sure, I loved him. But I wasn't _in love_ with him. I married him because if I didn't, it would have broken his heart. He loved me unconditionally, and was willing to take me even though I was broken, and had given myself to his own brother. _I_ was the problem. I didn't deserve him…"

Tanaka wrote furiously on her pad, then looked at her watch and sighed. "I'm sorry, Higurashi-san. But your time is up for now. Would you like to come again this week?"

Despite the pain it had caused, Kagome felt… relieved. Not better, just relieved. So she arranged a twice-weekly session with Tanaka-san. The woman had even told Kagome that she would tell her insurance that the sessions were necessary, and therefore would be covered completely.

Feeling less burdened than she had been in a while, Kagome walked home, stopping at the market on the way. There, she picked up ingredients she hadn't bought in some time, mostly because they were fresh, and would go bad if she didn't cook them soon. But her spirit had risen, and she felt like tonight would be better.

But that night, the dream was worse than any. She dreamed that Sesshoumaru had stopped her marriage to Inuyasha, apologizing and insisting they marry instead. After, they made love passionately in the rain, as they had before. Actually, it was almost as if her memory was recalling that same exact evening. There was even a moment where she accidentally got the tiniest drop of Sesshoumaru's blood in her mouth, and that tingle ravaged her body. It was intoxicating, as she watched herself do it again and again, until they were whipped into a frenzy.

When she woke up, tears were streaming from her eyes. It wasn't fair. She should be crying over Inuyasha, not having wet dreams about her ex. Hot, sweaty, raunchy dreams, where she relived the best moments of her life and could escape…

Regardless, Kagome went about her day. But it bothered her that she had dreamed of that particular night. Because she had always felt like that night had made her closer to Sesshoumaru than anyone else. There was something special about them that night, as they glowed with passion under the storm clouds. They had never found out why they could feel each other so well, why it affected them both when she licked his blood; it was probably some freaky demon thing, she mused. But it continued to gnaw at her. 

She mentioned it at her next therapy session.

"Is there some particular reason why I keep dreaming about this one night with my ex?" Instead of sitting, she was pacing around the room.

Tanaka-san was astonished, since Kagome hadn't let her say a word yet. Obviously, it must be bothering her, because last time, she had been quite reluctant to say anything about anything, let alone her past lover. "Does it have some sort of significance to you?"

Kagome thought for a moment before answering, lest she give something away that wasn't hers to give. "Well, I felt so close to him at that point. It's like… we were one. I know it sounds cheesy, but it's true."

Tanaka laughed. "No, it's not cheesy. I actually know what you mean."

_Hardly_, Kagome thought. _I doubt your husband is a gorgeous Taiyoukai from five-hundred years in the past._ "Oh, also, I was a little worried about him – he had gotten hurt, and I was scared." It was an afterthought, really, but worth a shot.

"Now, that's interesting," the psychiatrist said. "Did you visit him in the hospital or something?"

_Or something_. "No, it's a long story. We weren't anywhere in particular." _Just walkin' around the Feudal Era_. "But he was fine, and he began to comfort me, and well…"

"Ah, I see," Tanaka implied. "So then you were emotionally vulnerable at that point. This is probably why you keep dreaming of that day. You are, whether you'd like to admit it or not, quite vulnerable right now."

_Vulnerable? That's not the word my friends and family would use right now. Well, I probably wouldn't, either._ Kagome felt like rolling her eyes. This didn't feel right. It was something else, something deeper.

"So, your mind is trying to comfort you. It's trying to make you feel like you did that day."

"Well, it's been succeeding," Kagome said to herself, embarrassed about how wet she had been when she woke up that same morning. Honestly! You'd think she was a horny teenager again!

"Kagome," the older woman asked, a tone in her voice the young miko recognized as burning curiosity, "why does it bother you so much that you're dreaming of this particular memory? Some would kill to be able to relive such a sweet recollection…"

That was a good question, and Kagome wasn't sure she wanted to answer it. "I don't know…"

Tanaka looked at her askance. "Kagome, how are we supposed to get anywhere when you start with the '_I don't know_'s' again?"

The raven-haired priestess sighed. "Yeah, yeah. I get the drift. It's just… painful…"

"What's painful?" the woman asked, her brow furrowed in concentration.

"The memory. And the fact that I'm having it. I mean, I should be dreaming of Inuyasha. I should be missing my baby girl. Not fantasizing about my ex…"

"Kagome," Tanaka said in a stern voice, "I want to make this perfectly clear. It is perfectly normal for you to have these dreams. They don't mean that you don't miss your husband, and they don't mean that you've forgotten the baby you lost. It simply means that your mind is trying to escape; to get to a time when you were happy. Were you not happy with your ex?"

"Well, yes, but why am I not dreaming of a time when I was happy with Inuyasha? Why am I not dreaming of the day I found out the baby was a girl?"

"Were you truly happy with Inuyasha? You said last time that you loved him, but weren't in love with him. But were you happy?"

And there it was. But how could she say it? How could she dare deny him? How could she reveal her greatest weakness? She felt lower than dirt, but she had to admit it to someone, because she needed to get a handle on herself. "I…" Easier said than done. The words didn't want to come out. But then, they did. "No, I wasn't. Even though I hated him at the time, I'm still-" Kagome's hand shot up to her mouth, covering it as she gasped, her eyes growing large with shock. Tanaka regarded her curiously. Eventually, the hand came down. But the doctor remained silent, waiting for Kagome to break the ice. And soon, she did, although it was obvious she was lying. "What I meant was, 'I _was_ still in love with my ex'."

Tanaka watched her for a few moments, and then spoke slowly, as if speaking to a child. "Kagome, listen to me. Your main problem is that you're lying to yourself. I don't even know this ex's name, and you're still being super-secretive." She pinched the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger, exhaling loudly. Then she looked up into her clients' big blue eyes. "Kagome, your homework until our next meeting is for you to figure out exactly why you're lying to yourself. Next time I see you, I want an explanation. When you have it, we can move on."

With a sigh, Kagome left the office. She was eager to get home, grateful for once that the house was empty.

~~~~~%~~

Something had happened, he just knew it.

For the past four days, he had been restless, pacing the wooden floors of his Northern home. Recently, he had bought a house in Tokyo, so that he could be close to work – or so he told himself. But he had needed to get away, so he retreated to the cooler airs of Sapporo. The problem was that a few days ago in the early morning as he lay awake in bed, he suddenly started to tingle. The tingle reminded him instantly of the time he had made love to Kagome in the rain. She had licked up some of his blood, and it had a very interesting effect on both of them.

Now, panting heavily in his bed he shivered, remembering the intimate moment. His blood raced through his veins, fueled by his thumping heart. The tingle became stronger, like a jolt of electricity, and suddenly, Sesshoumaru had liquid lightning for blood. He began to take matters into his own hands, the memory of their soulful joining fresh in his mind, but it wasn't the same. His mind was fooled, but his body was not. And neither was his beast, which was suddenly very restless. It whined inside the Taiyoukai, begging to search for the only one who could satisfy its' needs.

A firecracker went off in his head, and Sesshoumaru understood.

Something was happening with Kagome. That day, in the rain, they became linked in more than one way. She must be thinking of him. Or dreaming.

Well, then. Perhaps it was finally time to come face-to-face with his little miko.

------------------------END CHAPTER-----------------------

End Notes: My last battle with Naraku is exactly as Rumiko Takahashi designed it, although to compress it and for time's sake, a few minor things were left out. HOWEVER! Where I put in the break is where I had to break off to go into this story, because in the end, Kagome DOES wish on the jewel (she tells it to 'disappear forever') and _she_ disappears for three years (and the well refuses to work), long enough for her to finish High School and become 18 (convenient, eh?). At that point, she comes back, and she and Inuyasha get married, and we assume she's stuck in the Feudal Era forever. Sango and Miroku have been married, and just had their third child (as I described in earlier chapters), and Shippou goes to fox-demon school. Rin stays with Kaede to try out village life, and Sesshoumaru brings her stuff like a good daddy. **And don't kill me for the cliffy!**


	20. XX

A/N: I know it's repetitive, but sorry about the wait. I hardly have any time to myself these days, which leaves little time for writing, no matter how much I want to. I literally have to choose between taking a shower, and writing. Showers always win. But I am very eager to get along with this storyline – just know that I haven't abandoned it, I just have too many projects and too little time to work on them all. Most of my notes are at the end of the chapter – please read them!

The song d'jour – or song d'chapter. Let's pretend Kagome has hazel eyes instead of blue for now, shall we?

"_Seems like just yesterday, you were a part of me;_

_I used to stand so tall, used to be so strong._

_Your arms around me, tight. _

_Everything it felt so right._

_Unbreakable, like nothing could go wrong._

_Now I can't breathe, no I can't sleep; I'm barely hangin' on…_

_Here I am, once again. _

_I'm torn into pieces; can't deny it, can't pretend – just thought you were the one._

_Broken up, deep inside…_

_But you won't get to see the tears I cry: behind these hazel eyes."_ Behind These Hazel Eyes – Kelly Clarkson.

**That's the Way Love Goes**

**Chapter XX**

Surrounded by friends and family, Kagome didn't feel right. She felt like she should be mourning alone. People were laughing, talking, joking. This wasn't right. It had only been one short year.

Her therapist had come up with the idea that she should have a gathering for the one-year anniversary of her husband and child's death. At the time, Kagome had laughed at the idea – _sure! Let's have a party because they died!_ – and when she went home, the first person she called was Souta.

"Kagome, that's a great idea," he told her.

She gaped, although he couldn't see it. "Are you crazy?"

"Kagome, you've gotta stop torturing yourself. She's a psychiatrist for a reason. She knows what she's talking about, so just trust her."

Well, she did. And now she wanted to kill Tanaka _and_ Souta. Sure, her culture had odd ways of celebrating those they've lost, but this was ridiculous. She needed to ease her grieving, but this was not the way. She hadn't been in mourning that long – it had only been about nine months since she learned what happened. How could the people she love stand around her home – the home she still had so many memories with Inuyasha and little Sango in - and celebrate? No, this was wrong.

"Kagome, aren't you going to have some sake?" Kayo asked.

The miko shot her friend a glare. "No, Kayo. I'm not. Maybe after all of you leave…"

Between her black expression and her words, the cancer survivor began to worry about Kagome; she hadn't thought this was a good idea, and knew Kagome hadn't thought so either. Unfortunately, the young woman trusted her brother entirely too much. Perhaps she should stay…

"… and he told me to go for it. I mean, if it weren't for Inuyasha, I might be working in a grocery store or something."

Kayo listened as Souta told his girlfriend and a few close friends a story about his brother-in-law. At least the boy was mourning healthily. He was celebrating the man's life, not wallowing in his death. Then again, Kagome felt directly responsible for her husband's death. She blamed herself for the accident, because he had been trying to save her. And she never got to say goodbye. And they had been fighting, which was also her fault. And she hadn't really loved him the way he deserved… The list went on and on. Kayo was wondering if the therapy sessions were actually doing any good; it seemed she was angrier than normal, even if she was able to speak more freely now.

Kagome was watching her mother mingle with some of her friends whom she hadn't seen in some time. Her grandfather was there, too. "You know, that dear boy cared for my Kagome so much. She was gifted – or cursed – that way. Many men have been in love with her."

It hurt so much, Kagome had to force herself to stand, to keep from crumpling on the floor. So many men… What an understatement. From those that had less-than-pure intents, like Manten or that disgusting pig youkai, or even that sage – _Inuyasha rescued you from all of them_, her traitorous mind supplied, _and now he's dead because of you_ – to ones that had little crushes – or big ones – like Jinenji, Akitoki Hojo, and of course, Kouga.

_Kouga. I haven't thought of him in a long time_. It was disturbing that Kagome almost wished she could go back in time to take the Wolf Prince up on his offer of becoming "his woman" just to keep herself and Inuyasha from going through what they had. Of course, she'd have been in exactly the same situation; she wondered if her little 'Sango' would have had wolf ears, or perhaps a tail…

She was brought out of her depressing thoughts by a tap on her shoulder. It was Tanaka, her therapist.

"Kagome, you never answered my question from two sessions ago. Now, with all your family and friends here, do you think you can answer me?"

Kagome had to think for a moment. _What was she supposed to tell her? Hmm… there was lots of talk about Sessho_ – him, _lots of talk about_ him – _and then… Oh. That's right. Damn it_.

"Ah, not as much, no. I mean, I know what you're trying to help me realize, but really, I'm not lying to myself. I have a pretty good grip on reality." She thought that sounded pretty believable, and congratulated herself.

Tanaka shook her head, as if a child had done something against her mother's wishes. "Kagome, I don't think you realize that you're waiting for something. It's as if you're expecting your ex – sorry, I'd say his name but _I don't know it_-" here, she cast a disappointed look at her client, "to come waltzing into your life and sweep you off your feet. At the same time, you teeter between hate and incredible love for him." Here, she paused, not for dramatic effect, but because she wasn't sure if Kagome was ready to hear her next words. She sighed, as if in resignation. "Kagome." She waited until the young woman opposite her looked up. "You are not going to heal your pain with your loss until you come to terms with what happened with his brother."

There was a hushed silence all around.

Mortified and angry, Kagome turned and stalked back into her house, slamming the screen door. Oddly enough, she had the image of Sesshoumaru waltzing in her mind, and it was deeply disturbing. Embarrassed, Kagome's mother began to say goodnight to everyone, not just because she was leaving the party, but because she thought it best that everyone leave. She watched Souta run after his sister.

For his part, Souta was surprised and relieved that Kagome had finally told someone all the things she was bottling up – well, obviously not everything, from Tanaka-san's rant. He found her in his old room, which was still depressingly pink, with baby things everywhere. She was crying desperately; big, hiccupping sobs wracked her frame. He was afraid she was getting worse.

"Kagome?" he ventured.

She had known he was there. She wiped her face and sat up. He sat next to her, and rather than address why he was here, she figured she would throw him off his game.

"Did you know that ever since my powers were fully released, I can sense you no matter where you are?"

His wide eyes and gaping mouth let her know that no, he did not, and _could you run that by me again?_

She giggled a little at his expression. "Yeah, I guess since we're both from holy blood-" she looked at him dubiously here, as if to question just how holy their lineage was, "I can sense you. It's not a big thing, like feeling youki, but it's there."

That was certainly something to digest. But Souta knew what she was doing and wasn't going to let her distract him.

"You okay? That was awful. She shouldn't have said that in front of everyone…" His brows furrowed so far into a scowl that Kagome had to look away, as it reminded her so much of the brothers she loved.

"No, it's okay. The worst part was that she was right."

"What?" her brother said, astonished at both her admittance and her courage.

She could feel his eyes on her, waiting for her to say more. After a few minutes, she obliged. "I mean, I don't know if I will heal by thinking about Sesshoumaru, but the lying to myself? Check. The waiting for him to shoot back into my life – despite how impossible that may be? Check. Maybe she's right about the healing, too."

Souta was torn. On the one hand, he didn't know what her reaction would be. On the other hand… "Kagome?" he said meekly.

His tone surprised her. He looked guilty. She watched as he fiddled with his shoelaces. Now her brows were drawn together in a frown. He was hiding something.

He finally finished his thought. "Kagome, um… why do you say it's impossible?"

Well, that threw a proverbial minivan in front of her train of thought. "Er, what?"

He looked away, unwilling to continue. "Ah, er… shoot." _Perhaps_, Souta was thinking, _I should've kept my big mouth shut._ Kagome was doing that piercing thing with those blue eyes of hers. Damn! "Well, you said something about waiting for him? Um, Sesshoumaru? And that it was, uh…" Her eyes were narrowing with every word. The last word was barely distinguishable – it came out as a squeak. "… impossible?"

Besides irritation, anger, trepidation, and intense curiosity, there was a nervous fluttering in Kagome's stomach. "Yes…" she said in a low voice, drawing it out.

Souta got the distinct impression that he was now at the age where his sister – if provoked – would no longer have any qualms about beating him up. This conversation was not beneficial to his health, and she was going to kill him, and oh, look! There's a sparrow in the tree! A small part of him – unknowing of exactly what kinds of powers Kagome possessed – was hoping desperately that she wasn't capable of zapping his unmentionables.

She saw his sudden change of mind as the emotions flitted across his face. When he started to focus on the bird outside the window, she smacked him on his arm, hard.

"Ow!" he said, but then thought better of saying anything else. Well, there was no going back. She wouldn't let him go until he told her something, so he might as well go through with it.

For her part, Kagome thought this was torture. The different thoughts that raced through her mind of what Souta could possibly know about Sesshoumaru ranged in color: red, _why did he have to bring Sesshoumaru up?_; blue, _I really miss him – wow, could that be what Tanaka said about not lying to myself?_ she mused; black, _did someone find a grave or something?_; white, _what does he know?_; and yellow, _does he know where Sesshoumaru is?_

"Okay. Please try to keep in mind that I didn't want to keep this from you. You said he was your Romeo, and I know how that feels. But mom…" He trailed off, now realizing he was not only going to get beat down by his sister, but he was gonna be in epic trouble with his mother.

Kagome looked like she was about to explode, so he blurted it out as quickly as he could.

"Sesshoumaru's here. He lives in Northern Japan, and he comes to visit, but mom shoos him away because she doesn't want you to be upset, and the last time, he was really upset over something mom said, so he's been staying away, but he has a home in Tokyo…"

It was all too much. _Sesshoumaru had a home here? He came to see me? Mom got rid of him? Oh god. Oh, thank the gods, he's alive…_ Kagome slumped against the wall and started to laugh. This would not have been so disconcerting had she not also been crying at the same time.

He shook her shoulder lightly. "Er, Kagome? You all right?"

She was still giggling, tears streaming down her face. "Haha, he's… alive!"

Souta, at a loss for words, watched in astonishment as the emotions inside wore themselves down.

Later, when she was able to say more than just "he's alive" – which she had repeated at least twenty-five times – she finally got the scoop from her brother.

"Well," he said rather sheepishly, "I heard Mom talking to him a couple of times, and…"

"A _couple_ of times?" Kagome shrieked.

Souta was playing with his hands: clenching and unclenching his fists, twiddling his thumbs, cracking his knuckles… his fidgeting reminded Kagome that this was hard for her brother to admit. After all, she was a priestess, was she not? _Kagome-sama, forgive me_…

"Well, I heard all this stuff from her. And honestly, Kagome. She asked him to stay away for everyone's benefit."

"_Everyone's?_" Kagome was furious. How dare her mother muddle this far into her affairs?

Souta sighed. "Kagome, you're gonna have to talk to her. I can't… I won't get in the middle."

The priestess slumped her shoulders in defeat. She knew he was right. When did her little brother get so mature? Playfully, she rumpled his hair. He swatted her hand away.

"Ka_go_me," he whined. Secretly, he was pleased with himself. Sure, his mom was gonna kill him, but he had effectively taken his sister's grief away.

She was getting up now, realizing which room she was in. With a sigh, she looked around. "Not yet," she said to herself.

Souta stared at her, wondering what she meant. Then he followed her as she went back downstairs.

To her embarrassment, almost everyone had left. Kayo told her that Tanaka had felt very bad about talking about Kagome's problems in front of everyone, and stayed to personally apologize. Grandpa was now digging through the storage shed, looking for something. And Mama was saying goodbye to a few more guests as they walked down the shrine steps.

"I'm staying," Kayo informed her friend.

Kagome's brows drew into a frown. "You don't have to. I'm okay."

The older woman studied Kagome's face and felt that she meant it, but didn't relent yet.

Souta hovered nearby, anxious. He knew Kagome was going to confront their mother. There had never been a fight between them before; they had always gotten along splendidly, although he knew that once Kagome came back for good, they didn't talk as often, which had weakened their relationship. He knew that if he were smart – which he wasn't, which was why he was counting on a soccer scholarship – he would run. _Now_. With a sigh, he resigned himself to stay by his sister's side.

Finally, the elder Higurashi woman was coming back, her body telling how exhausted she was with her posture. When she saw the little group waiting for her, along with Kagome's expression – and Souta's nervousness – she began to get suspicious.

"Well, that was… interesting."

Not the most tactful person, Kagome jumped right in. "Sesshoumaru has been coming to see me and you've been telling him to leave me alone?"

Souta looked like he wanted to burrow into the dirt. Kayo gasped, knowing the gravity of the situation. For her part, Kagome's mother looked stern. "Yes."

Now the miko looked angry. "Why? You knew how I felt about him. I was miserable. I've been wishing for death! And you've never told me that Sesshoumaru came to see me?"

"Kagome," her mother said, and her voice took on that mother-knows-best tone, "I've known Sesshoumaru for quite some time now." She watched as her daughter's face became a perfect mask of surprise. "It's all very… complicated. A long time ago, he told us. What happened, that is. Between the two of you. He warned me that you were going to become sad, and that Inuyasha would stay with you. Beyond that, he didn't know what would happen, because you never went back."

Kagome was so shocked, she couldn't speak. "I… But, what… Um…" Brows drawn in confusion, Kagome was unsure of what to tackle first. "Regardless, you shouldn't have made that decision. You should have told me."

"I know, dear. I wanted to so many times," her mother said sadly. "I was going to tell you as soon as you came back, crying about what had happened. But I couldn't interfere until Inuyasha decided to stay, because that would be meddling with time and fate itself. Then, when it was time, Inuyasha… well, you know."

Tears began to stream down Kagome's face. She knew all too well. Inuyasha had made the wish that sealed his – and her – fate.

"And then, there was too much going on. I couldn't add to your stress. I decided that it was best he stay away. But Kagome, I only told him to leave you be until it seemed like you needed him. And really, I can't think of a time you needed him more than now. Would you like to see him?"

Kagome was in shock. It was all going too fast. Sesshoumaru was alive, and… nearby? She could _see_ him? But could he possibly want to see her after all these centuries? Her brain processed the fact that he had, in fact, come looking for her. But her heart, hurt so badly all those years ago, rejected her sane side. No, it wouldn't be the same. He wouldn't want her in the same way she wanted him. The way she _needed_ him.

"Uh… no," was all she managed to squeak out.

Her mother looked disappointed. Actually, everyone did. Kayo, Souta, and… Tanaka?! Why was she still here again? And why hadn't she asked the therapist to leave? Oh, damn. That meant that she heard…

"Sesshoumaru? Kagome, your ex-boyfriend's name is Sesshoumaru? Well, I can see why you hid that from me. Now, would you like to tell me more about your relationship and what happened that ended it?"

Kagome was seeing red. This was none of Tanaka's business! A small part of Kagome's brain argued that it was, indeed, her psychiatrist's business, but she locked that piece away behind a door and threw away the key. "No! I would NOT like to tell you. This is a family matter! Please leave!"

"Kagome!" her mother scolded, "I did not raise you to be so rude!"

"I'm sorry, mother, but this whole day went wrong because of Tanaka-sama. I just wanted to sulk at home by myself…"

"And that is precisely why I suggested this," Tanaka said sternly.

Kagome whirled on her. "You're still here?"

"Kagome, I expect to see you in my office on Tuesday." With that, the therapist turned and left.

They all stared after her, mouths agape, wondering at this person that stood up to Kagome. Not many people could do that. Even Inuyasha had had trouble with that.

After a few moments, they thawed.

"Er, yeah. Anyways, do you want me to stay with you?" Kayo asked.

"No thanks. I think I'll be okay. I feel kinda empty right now. Not in a bad way, just like a fire with nothing else to burn…"

Kayo twisted her mouth up, unsure of how she should take that statement.

"Anyways," Kagome continued, "my family is spending the night. It's too late for them to travel back to Shimane tonight."

Kayo finally relented, knowing that she'd be in capable hands. "All right," she said, nodding. Then, in an aside to Kagome, she whispered, "but if you need me, just call, and I'll be here."

It was a bittersweet comment for Kagome – on the one hand, she was grateful for a friend like Kayo. On the other hand, this meant that her friend could see Kagome's discontent with her mother. "Thanks," she smiled.

With that, the ex-cancer patient departed, leaving Kagome with her family. For the first time in quite some time, Kagome actually wanted to be alone, dreading having her mother and brother – both meaning well but neither willing to shut the hell up – here in the house again. Instantly, she felt guilty about thinking of them in this way; it was still her mother's house, after all.

"I'm going to clean this up. Souta, can you bring in that table?" her mother began.

Kagome was relieved that they weren't going to talk about things yet. Without a word, the shrine's priestess went to her room to brood.

Kagome never came out again that night. Afraid to confront her mother again, not wanting to hear her grandfather go on about either of the brothers she loved, or listen to her brother prattle on about how she shouldn't be sulking, Kagome sat in her room, trying not to remember.

So many things were whirling in her head that she didn't know where to start. Sesshoumaru was still alive? He was looking for her, after nearly five hundred years of – what? Planning world domination? Killing all the other youkai? In her mind, she wondered if this was the reason there weren't any youkai around anymore. Had Sesshoumaru hunted them all down? Disturbed with where her thoughts had skittered off to, Kagome turned to the most essential question. Do I want to see him?

There was a resounding _yes_ coming from within her mind.

But then a more vital query came around: _should_ I see him?

Her heart and brain warred over this, but in the end, Kagome knew that she could take no more heartbreak. The answer was no.

Her stomach clenched tightly over this, knowing that everything she wanted was so close, yet she couldn't force herself to reach for it. Besides, her mother had said that she had told Sesshoumaru to stay away until she needed him, and Kagome could not think of a time she needed him more than right now, and yet, he was not here.

In that instant, she realized how much she still loved him, despite everything that happened.

_I told you_, her heart told her with a staccato beating.

_Shut it, we don't need this_, her mind snapped.

Her stomach grumbled to her that it hadn't eaten, since she was too busy grousing around at the "party". Well, she wasn't about to give in to _any_ of her grumpy body parts. So she just went to sleep, feeling only slightly guilty that she hadn't helped to clean up. Well, it hadn't been her party, anyways, she thought petulantly.

~~~~~%~~

Kagome hadn't felt right in a big, empty house in quite some time, but after that ordeal, the past week had been rather peaceful. As long as she didn't think about Sess – _him_, as long as she didn't think about _the guy I used to think about_ – then she was fine. She even thought about getting her own cat. She loved Buyo, but her mother wouldn't part with the portly feline. Perhaps she would do that today, after closing the shrine…

She realized that she didn't have to meditate to be at peace, but she liked to do it, and so every morning, she had risen early to sit under Goshinboku and clear her mind. Then she tended to the shrine's visitors, giving tours when needed, being a salesperson when tourists came, and giving advice to those that sought it. She was almost… happy. As long as she didn't think.

Now, as she ushered an elderly man – so much like her grandfather – off the grounds, she had a thrill of excitement. She would have a new friend by tonight! A small part of her brain chided her. _You just want something to take care of again; it won't replace her_, it said. Kagome told her brain to fuck off.

Kagome called Kayo to find out where a good animal shelter was; she remembered that her friend had a few cats that she had rescued. They had been afraid of Kagome the first time they met, but had warmed up to her – Kayo told her that they must sense her holy powers, because they usually never came to meet strangers. The woman told Kagome that in the country not far from here, there was a shelter called ARK: Animal Rescue Kansai. Kagome departed immediately, calling them in advance with the number Kayo gave her.

They were thrilled to have her, and asked lots of questions. When they found out that Kagome was the sole person on a large amount of property, they suggested a dog.

"I don't know…" Kagome said, looking away uncomfortably. "I've always had a cat." She felt bad for lying. Of course, she had always had Buyo, but that wasn't the real reason. She just didn't want any reminders of the brothers that had broken her heart.

Of course, the workers didn't know this, and kept at it. "But a dog would love all the room you have to offer!" one said.

"Yes, but they eat more," Kagome rebutted. She wasn't stupid. She knew the plight dogs suffered in her country; most were treated as property, being forced to live outside on a short rope. Most Japanese people were afraid of dogs and did not want them as pets, and the few that did own pet dogs usually did not neuter or spay them, letting them breed without discretion. She didn't harbor these feelings – Kagome liked dogs as much as cats – but they would just be a constant reminder. How could you forget when your dead husband's name started with 'Inu' and the man you pined for actually turned into a gigantic dog? Well, a gigantic, slaughtering, demonic dog, but a dog all the same. With long, floppy ears and wagging tail. Kagome had to stifle a giggle that threatened to spill from her mouth.

They could sense that she was being reluctant. "Either would be just fine for you," an elderly, kind-looking woman said. She wasn't Japanese, but she spoke it well. "Whatever you decide, you'll be saving a life." She looked at the younger native woman that had tried to convince Kagome, and the woman seemed instantly contrite.

Kagome smiled, and the woman introduced herself as Elizabeth Oliver; she ran the ARK. Kagome was pleased – it was sad that it took a foreigner to bring compassion for animals to Nippon. After introducing herself, and telling the elderly woman about growing up with Buyo and how her family had taken him with them to Shimane, she asked to see some of the animals.

"Of course! I am very pleased that your family took your Buyo with them. You know how things can be…"

Kagome knew she was referring to the hokensho – a Japanese twist on the 'dog catcher'. But there were several other things she could be referring to as well… "Yes, well, we all love him very much. But he is happiest with them. I suppose it's my turn now," she said, excited about having a pet that was actually hers.

"Well, then. Let me take you to the cats. We have some that can only go to a home with no other cats because of illness. Would you be interested?"

Despite her friendliness, Kagome could see the desperation – obviously, she was hoping Kagome would take away one of these 'lifers'. "I'm sorry, Oliver-san," Kagome said, adding the honorific, despite the woman's heritage. "Being that I'm the only one at the shrine, I don't think I could provide the care necessary."

There was no doubting Kagome's sincere and solemn words. "That is very honest of you, Higurashi-san ," Elizabeth said, nodding.

"Onegai," Kagome told her, "call me Kagome."

"Hai," the elderly woman replied, smiling.

She led the way, but on the way to the large, outdoor cage that held some of the adoptable cats, they had to pass a large, fenced-in area with dogs. There were so many! All different shapes, breeds, and sizes. They all ran to the fence, barking excitedly and wagging their tails. Tongues lolled out of their mouths, and Kagome found herself laughing. Well, when they acted like this, it was hard to remember… unless she was doing it on purpose, like she was now. Elizabeth stopped, smiling. She watched as Kagome walked up to the fence. As she observed, a big, white dog suddenly woke up, realizing that there was someone there. The older woman was about to call to Kagome, to warn her. But it was too late. There was a flash of white as the huge dog rushed to the fence. And…

That was it. Astonishingly, he stopped at the fence, trying to sniff Kagome as well as he could through the wire. But when Kagome saw him, it brought tears to her eyes. It was absolutely ridiculous, but looking at the enormous dog was like looking at Inuyasha, when he was hanyou. The giant, fluffy, white triangles swiveled on his head, listening to Kagome sniffle. Her right hand was caught on the fence, her fingers on the other side, curled around the metal. The Inuyasha-dog cocked his head to the side, just as Inuyasha would do when he was stumped; like Sesshoumaru would do when he was puzzled by her. Luckily, this dog's eyes were nowhere near golden – they were too dark a brown to be considered amber. As she thought this, a big pink tongue came out and gently licked her fingers. She stared.

"That is Hijiri," Elizabeth told her. "His owner simply disappeared, and we took him in." She didn't want to push Kagome; it was rare when she witnessed something this special, and she didn't want to press on the young woman. Obviously, something was happening between the two.

"Hijiri," Kagome whispered.

Hearing his name, the dog's mouth opened into a big doggy smile.

Kagome laughed and wiped away her tears.

On the way home, Kagome realized that she should have thought about this more carefully. After all, you couldn't simply take a dog onto the subway or buses. And she didn't have a car. And _of course_ she would find herself adopting Japan's largest breed – the Akita. People crossed the street, avoiding them. Mothers pulled their children to safety. Even men ducked into stores to get out of their way.

Kagome laughed to herself. Well, this dog could come in handy! _Whenever I want to be left alone, I just have to call Hijiri! Perhaps I should bring him to my next appointment with Tanaka-sama…_ Hijiri, oblivious to Kagome's inner-breakdown, strolled down the street as if he owned it. He probably could, they way people avoided them as if they had the Avian Flu. But they still had quite a ways to walk.

Sighing to herself, Kagome realized that she had to give in. Stopping to use a phone booth, Kagome held onto her newly acquired violet leash as she closed the door. Hijiri looked at her nervously, as if he already could not bear to be parted from her. Kagome smiled at him, and dialed.

Moments later, there was a voice on the line. "Good evening," the woman said.

Kagome sighed. "I need you to pick me up. I hadn't thought about getting home…"

Half an hour later, Kagome was pulling Hijiri into the back seat of Kayo's little Mitsubishi. "Sorry again," Kagome said.

"Don't worry about it," Kayo smiled. She could already see the difference the dog made in Kagome's life. "What's his name?"

"Hijiri," Kagome answered. The dog in question looked at his new owner expectantly. She patted him on the head, and he returned to looking out the window. "He's six, and his owner just left him."

Kayo nodded. "That's usually the case. Things aren't great for dogs," she told Kagome. "We would get one, but my husband is terribly afraid of them. He had one of those mothers that constantly told him that dogs are demons that will bite you for no reason."

"I'm glad to have a friend like you," Kagome said solemnly. Kagome knew that some families were like that, but her mother had never given her any prejudices, hence her big heart and even bigger soul. In hindsight, that might have been because her mother knew a very old, very powerful demon. The thought brought tears to her eyes. Had she grown up tolerant because of Sesshoumaru? Well, indirectly?

"What, Christian?" Kayo joked.

Kagome laughed. "No, sympathetic."

~~~~~%~~

Kagome had wanted to go home, but Kayo insisted on bringing her to buy some necessities. "You need to spend tonight bonding, and you don't want to leave such a large dog unattended so soon," the experienced woman had explained. There was no arguing for it, so Kagome went along with it. After buying a gigantic bag of dog food and a pair of bowls that were equally huge, Kagome was cleaned out. The adoption fee had been more than she hoped, but it was worth it; going towards Hijiri's medical bills and helping with the other shelter animals, Kagome was happy to pay it. But now, she saw the difficulty. If she spent any more, she wouldn't have enough for the supplies she needed at the shrine.

"Kagome, you'll need a brush as well – Akita shed like crazy."

Kagome looked at the brush longingly, but walked away without a word.

When they got back to the car – the window steamed up where Hijiri was panting, looking for Kagome – Kayo presented her friend with a bag of items: a brush, a few chew toys, and a blanket. Kagome tried to make her take them back, but there was no use. They spent the rest of the ride home with Kagome thanking Kayo, and Kayo brushing her off.

With a wave, Kagome said goodbye to her friend, who promised to visit in a few days. Kagome watched as the little blue sedan took off, the sky dark with night. Then, Kagome turned towards the shrine steps. She suddenly realized how tired she was. The day's excitement had worn off, leaving her weary. She looked up at the stairs. Hijiri followed her gaze, looking up as well, then back to her. He whined, not sure why the woman wasn't moving. Kagome looked down at him.

"Well, I guess there's no helping it." She began to climb the steep steps. Hijiri followed cautiously. Kagome realized that he might not have ever been on stairs before. She stopped. "Are you okay?" she asked.

He cocked his head to the side, making her giggle.

"Okay," she sighed. "Let's get it over with. I can't wait until I'm old and I'm in a wheelchair. Then I never have to go up these stupid steps again." She clomped up the steps, Hijiri at her side, easily keeping pace.

Kagome began to slow, fatigue creeping through her muscles, and the dog watched her. Suddenly, he overtook her and was straining against the leash. At first, Kagome was just annoyed.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," she said, her forehead crinkled irritably.

But then he pulled harder, and they were going up quickly. Kagome tugged back, but her strength was nothing compared to his bulk. Finally, about halfway up, she stopped resisting. And then, he was pulling her up. She barely had to work. She found herself laughing as he bore her weight, hauling her up the steps. By the time they were at the top, Kagome was laughing hysterically.

"That was actually fun!" she said, hugging the big white dog. He licked her face in agreement.

He merged seamlessly into life at the shrine. Kagome would wake up and meditate, and the big white dog would lie next to her, his face on his paws. When she took her shower, he waited patiently near her bed, chewing on a large bone. While she made breakfast, lunch or dinner, he laid on the threshold between the kitchen and living room, watching and subtly waiting for anything to fall to the floor. And while she putted around the shrine, he would lay under Goshinboku. She would return to him every now and then to pat him; at first he had followed her around, but the tourists and praying locals were not amused by his quirky "is he happy, or is he thinking of biting me?" smile, so she had asked him to stay away from the visitors, and he obeyed, keeping a steady vigil from a short distance away. At night, they would walk around the property. Hijiri would run after birds and squirrels – hunting was in his blood – and then turn to grin at Kagome, making her laugh. Later in the evening, they would curl up on the couch together and watch television or she would read. Then she would haul herself upstairs, leaning against the large dog, and crawl into bed. Hijiri slept next to her on the bed, his big furry head often on her body.

And he brought some amount of real joy to her life. The same night she brought him home, she attempted to bathe him. Of course, he was much stronger than her, and she received more of a shower than he, but all the same, he humored her. He seemed to know that she was a wounded soul, and did his best not to disappoint the beautiful miko. When he was in the tub, water only up to his knees, he yanked while she was holding on to his collar, and in she went. Both of them covered in suds, she proceeded to yell through her teeth – until she stood and saw herself in the mirror. Chuckling at first, she tried to wipe the bubbles away. Hearing her laugh, the dog gave a mighty shake, and she was once again covered in soapy soup. She couldn't help but have hysterics, and the dog's tongue lolled out in a big grin.

"Oh, yeah?" she asked playfully. "Think you're so tough, huh? Let's see how tough you are now!" Turning on the shower, Kagome cackled wickedly. The dog tried to get out, but Kagome held fast to his collar, and he didn't want to make her tumble out, so he stood there, defeated, his ears splayed out. Later, Kagome felt bad and gave him some dried fish, but he had learned his first lesson: avoid the bathtub at all costs.

Kagome wasn't kidding herself. She wasn't healed, and it still hurt to see her dog's white, expressive ears. But she couldn't deny that his non-judgmental companionship made her feel loved. And it was true, because Hijiri adored her from the minute they met.

It didn't take long for them to bond. A week after the enormous canine came to live with Kagome, a local thug came snooping around the shrine, hoping to find a donation box or something similar. He had been very quiet, but when he got to the Well House, he slid the door open, hoping that something of value would be inside.

The old wood, combined with the fact that Kagome hadn't opened those doors in nearly a year, creaked as it was pulled ajar. Instantly awake, Hijiri's giant ears perked in the direction of the sound. Too subtle for human ears, Kagome lay fast asleep. With a quiet 'woof', the dog jumped off the bed and went to the window, but since Kagome's window – once her mother's window – didn't look out over the well house, he couldn't see anything. But he could definitely hear someone walking around on the wooden floors of the Well House, at that didn't sit with him. For a moment, he considered going alone, so as not to wake his new master. But in the end, the dog knew that he would never be able to open the door leading outside.

There are many more favorable ways to awaken than a big, cold, wet nose poking you in the cheek. However, this was not Kagome's fate. Apparently, the Gods were playing a very cruel trick on her. Was it not bad enough that she fell in love with one golden-eyed brother who had furry dog ears? Was it also not enough that she should happen to fall for the other golden-eyed brother, who could actually turn into a dog? No, it was not. She must have angered the Gods, because now she was being brought back from a lovely dream – one in which she was rolling around in the sheets with Johnny Depp – by a prodding, soggy, hard nose that was most definitely belonging to a dog. Ugh.

"Wha-"

The dog growled low and long, effectively hushing her. At first, she was ashamed to be frightened. But Hijiri looked away as he growled, towards the window. Kagome understood immediately, having heard Inuyasha growl as his ears flattened to his head; it was a menacing gesture meant to warn allies of danger… and enemies of his prowess. Kagome silently got out of bed and held on to the Akita's collar – she didn't have to bend, since he was so tall – and he led her downstairs. She would be unable to turn on any lights, so Hijiri guided her with his photosensitive eyes. When he stopped, she knew they had come to the kitchen door. _Ironic_, she thought as she realized the reason for the darkness_, it's a New Moon_. Since the shrine was elevated, they were able to see the sky without the light pollution of Tokyo. Slowly, she released the deadbolt on the door. Gently, she turned the knob. Carefully, she pulled the door open. Quietly, she pushed the screen door out. As soon as there was enough room, the dog bolted out, running in the direction of the Well House.

"Hijiri!" Kagome called in a whisper, her outstretched hand reaching. Hesitation gripped her. She did not know what was out there. But then again, if her dog got himself killed within a week of living with her…

She couldn't bear it. Not knowing. It came so naturally, even after all those years of disuse. Her body reacted automatically, and the next thing she knew, Kagome was outside, running towards the Well with her quiver on her back and an arrow nocked and ready to loose. She didn't remember reaching into the small closet in the living room for her old weapon, but she was glad for it.

When she reached the small wooden shack, Hijiri was standing outside of the door, almost as if waiting for whoever was inside to come out so he could surprise the intruder. It was a silly notion, and Kagome approached. His ears swiveled back towards her, noting her arrival. Then they perked again as his shoulders suddenly tensed, telling Kagome that someone was coming. Then, a black figure slinked from the shadows, creeping out from the little building. Immediately, the dog began to snarl viciously. Kagome was surprised, but in the almost non-existent light, she could see that this person was much younger than her. And he didn't appear to have a weapon.

The young man – barely out of High School – stopped dead in his tracks when he heard the rumbling growl. Slowly, he turned. The stark whiteness of the dog made him practically glow, and the teen thought he was seeing a ghost. Then Kagome – not about to be upstaged after fighting demons for so long – aimed her arrow at him. Her powers surged familiarly, and her entire body was lit with an incandescent flame.

"Leave this sacred ground, or you'll be sorry," she said in her strongest tone. But, perhaps she was still a bit sleep-addled, because it wasn't as powerful as she would've liked. It came out raspy, like an old woman's voice.

The boy would never forget that night. He would go on to tell his grandchildren that they were to adhere to the Shinto ways. And when they misbehaved, he would recount the time he had tried to rob a haunted Shrine, and a Ghost Dog and its Miko Master had instructed him that they would forever haunt his progeny should they ever step out of line again. Needless to say, his children are some of the brightest in Tokyo, and the best behaved.

~~~~~%~~

About a month after Hijiri came to live with Kagome, Tetsu came to see how his healer was doing. He had heard from his spying girlfriend that Kagome looked much better – almost happy. He recounted for her his great soccer games, and he aspired to be as good as her brother, Souta.

"If I can get my grades up a little more, maybe I can get into that school, too."

Kagome twisted her mouth, knowing this would take some delicate maneuvering. "Tetsu, I believe you could do it, if your Japanese was better," she started to say, and he tried to interrupt, but she gave him a stern look, "but when Souta had to leave he was heart-broken. He had to leave his girlfriend behind. And even when he visits, they are both very sad when he has to leave again. If I had known how hard it would be, I would've convinced him not to go."

The boy let this sink in. "So you think I shouldn't try?"

"No. I'm saying you must choose what's more important. If you're going to choose Megumi, then make that work and forget about soccer. If playing is more important to you, however, you need to let her go before you both get hurt." Kagome chose that moment to make more tea and went inside, the big white dog padding after her.

Tetsu was disturbed by what she had said. In truth, they were wise words. But they didn't sound like Kagome. She had been so passionate before, fiery and strong. Now, although she was living with her grief, that was all it was. Living. She seemed like she was coping well, and she was happier with the dog, but she obviously still harbored scars from whatever had happened before, and then the death of Inuyasha and her baby, Sango.

When she came back, Tetsu decided to change the subject. "Kagome, I don't know if you're up to it, but…" He trailed off, now wondering if this was the time to speak of such things.

But he had piqued her interest. "Hm? Up to what?"

"Er… I dunno…" He blushed lightly and scratched the back of his head.

Kagome frowned. "Tetsu, you wouldn't have said anything if you hadn't wanted to. Now, what is it?"

"Um… ok. You see… No. Er, I guess I should start by asking if you're strong?"

Kagome's face screwed up in confusion. "What?"

"Ah, no. I mean, are you strong enough? No, no, that's not right. Uh…"

Kagome rolled her eyes as she waited for the boy to gather his thoughts, and even Hijiri seemed frustrated as he sighed and lay hid head on his master's feet.

"OK. Here it is. So, there's this friend of mine. He, um, is in the hospital."

"_Oh, Tetsu_…"

Her tone was chiding, so Tetsu began to backtrack. "Oh, okay, I'm sorry. I thought maybe… Never mind. I guess, I dunno, that you would… okay, never mind." He placed his cup down and started to leave.

"Oh, wait! Tetsu…" Kagome stood up, reaching for him.

"Um, no. It's okay, Kagome. Never mind." He trotted towards the stairs, a tear beginning to run down his cheek. Not just for Kagome's sake – the fearless, spirited woman he once knew – but for the friend who lay unconscious in his hospital bed, dying of pneumonia.

It kept Kagome up at night and ate at her all day; she really didn't want to expend that much energy anymore, but she had to know. A little over twenty-four hours after her little friend had run from her, Kagome was speaking with Tetsu's mother. The understanding mother called for her son, and the priestess asked him to come back to speak with her. He reluctantly agreed. He was once again at the shrine within an hour. Hijiri welcomed him with a lazy wag of his curled tail.

"I'm glad you came, Tetsu. I'm sorry if you got the wrong idea when you were last here, but I really want to know what your problem is."

Tetsu looked at her askance. "Or maybe your curiosity got the best of you?"

"Er, yes. That too. But mostly I want to help."

Her gritted smile told him otherwise, but he knew that this time, she wouldn't let him leave without hearing the story. Oh, well. Might as well get it over with.

"I know that you've been through a lot, so I'm not going to ask you to do anything, okay Kagome?" She nodded although he had a feeling she was only humoring him. "Well, my friend Hiro is on my soccer team. One day, after we almost lost a game because he didn't get this one shot in, he stayed to practice. I was worried, so I stayed to practice, too." Tetsu's brow creased with worry. "It started to rain, so I began to run off the field, but he stayed. I shouted to him to get out of the rain, but he just kept kicking balls at the goal. I… I left."

Now the boy's expression was sad and guilty, making Kagome want to wrap him up in her arms, but she wanted to hear the rest of the story. "At our next game, he looked sick. Like he had a fever. But he just kept pushing himself. He collapsed." Here, Kagome's friend broke, putting his face in his hands. She rubbed his back, and after a few moments, he gathered himself. "They wanted to bring him to the hospital, but he begged them to take him home. When he got there, he let himself in, saying he would be fine and that his mother would take care of him. We… we should've known. There was no one there. His father was away on business and his mother and sister went to visit their sick grandmother. The next day, he didn't come to school, so I went to check on him. A-and… well, he was barely alive."

The boy broke down, and Kagome consoled him, ashamed at herself for turning him away yesterday. She should have listened – this was obviously something that was bothering him. Her mind made up, Kagome shook Tetsu lightly. "Where is he?"

He sniffed, wiping his nose on his sleeve. "In th-the hospital."

"The same one?"

He nodded weakly, but she had the information she needed. "Okay, then. We should probably go. Right now."

"R-r-right now?" he repeated.

"Yep," she replied, and the conviction in her eyes was not to be doubted.

Two hours later, the pair were in the elevator, alone – luckily – and discussing their plan. They needed to get anyone in the room out, and they had to be detained until the healing was over. Kagome's palms were clammy, as she wasn't even sure she could still heal. Sure, nothing had changed biologically, but she had been through so much in the past couple of years. Then again, maybe she had been watching too much anime; only in the cartoons did people suddenly lose their powers because they didn't believe in themselves. Oh, and in Spiderman.

And when an incredibly evil manifestation of the demons that an ancient miko once fought decides that you're dangerous and seals your powers…

"Kagome? Daijoubou-ku?"

She shook her head. "Hai! I'm fine, just thinking about something." No sense in thinking about the past. There was no one to help her; she was on her own. Plus, there was the fact that she could feel the maladies of almost everyone in the building…

"What if his family is there?" Tetsu asked nervously.

This was the one scenario Kagome really hoped would not become reality. You couldn't ask the family of an unconscious boy to leave. Even to tell them she meant to help. "I… I honestly don't know. Pray to the gods, Tetsu."

The boy nodded, and Kagome saw his jaw set. She wished she could drum up the courage she had given him.

The elevator dinged and they walked out. Tetsu led the way to Hiro's room and they peeked inside. To their dismay, they were faced with the worst possible scenario. Not only was his family there, but a few other teammates as well. She could barely feel him; he was extremely sick. Her lungs felt heavy, and she realized that the fluid in his lungs was slowly suffocating him.

Kagome's heart froze as she realized they were preparing him for death. This gave her some hope: she could pretend to be a priestess summoned to bless the child and prepare him for the afterlife. Well, she was already a priestess, but her duties did not include blessings for the nearly dead. She turned to her companion, but he interrupted her.

"You'd have to be a doctor to get them out of there." His voice was barely a whisper and bleak, but the point was across.

Kagome's mouth shut. That was brilliant! It was the only way, and it was the easiest way, seeing as someone was already blessing the boy. Now, where to find…

As she looked around, Kagome saw a doctor entering a door. She tapped Tetsu and pointed. He didn't understand, but when she trotted to the same door, he went along. Standing outside as guard, he watched in amazement as Kagome let herself in, walking confidently up to the doctor she had just seen. He was buying a can of tea from a vending machine, and Kagome pretended to be waiting her turn. Luckily, she wore a blouse and skirt – perfectly acceptable doctor apparel. She was doubly blessed that so far, the room was empty, aside from the man ahead of her.

The older man picked up his oolong and turned to leave, but stopped when he noticed Kagome. He scrutinized her, and Kagome had to bite her lip to keep from bolting. She pretended to be deciding which type of drink she should get when he spoke.

"You…" he said, scrutinizing her, "you seem to be a little young to be a doctor at this hospital."

All those years of being kidnapped by demons, hunted by Naraku, and hiding her emotions from Inuyasha were about to come in handy. Even though her heart was hammering in her chest and her nails were digging into her palms, sweaty as they were, she seemed like the visage of cool and collected.

"I am new here. Thank you for the compliment. I am actually thirty-one." She bowed out of respect. "Higurashi Kagome."

"Hmpf." The man cocked an eyebrow as he judged her and then introduced himself. Kagome continued to falsely peruse the collection of teas and coffees, and without any other formalities, he left the room.

As soon as the door closed, however, the priestess bolted for the cubbies that belonged to each doctor. It took longer than she had wanted, but she found a white lab coat with an access card that looked close enough to her, pending she wear the glasses that were stored in the pocket. Using a pencil to put her hair in a more professional updo, Kagome checked herself in the mirror.

She wasn't sure what she should be more freaked out about – that she was impersonating a doctor and using her belongings, or that she could pass for thiry-one.

After deciding that she could do nothing more to look like the woman on the badge – Hiramoto Yuuki – Kagome left the room. She almost passed Tetsu, as he didn't recognize her and her vision was blurry from the prescription glasses.

"Wow, Kagome! You look… smart!" Kagome punched him in the arm. "Ow!"

"Be quiet! Look, I'll have to tell them that I need to do something. You go in there and pretend like you're visiting and back me up!"

"'Kay! Oh, wait…" He grabbed the tag hanging from her coat and examined it briefly. "See you in a minute, Doctor Hiramoto." With a grin, the boy turned and ran to his friend's room.

Kagome took a deep breath and tried to concentrate, but between the intense sickness all around her and the headache that was beginning to form because of the glasses, she couldn't focus. She would have to do this blind.

Tetsu approached Hiro's bed and saw that the blessing was over and the monk had vanished. He blended with the others, and a few teammates nodded in acknowledgement, but no words were exchanged.

A minute later, Kagome strolled in, her back straightened to appear strong. "Excuse me, I'm very sorry. My name is-" Without rehearsing, she slipped up and told them her real name. "Higurashi Kagome. I know you want to be with young Hiro, but I need to check something. Would you mind leaving me alone with him for a few minutes?" She appeared to address everyone, but she looked to the mother, since she knew she would be the biggest problem.

"But we may only have a few minutes left with him! How could you ask that of us, Doctor?" The mother was quite distraught, her already swollen eyes preparing to dump a fresh set of tears onto her face.

Tetsu, pressed for time and worried that Kagome wouldn't get to him in time, stepped up. "Oh, Doctor Hira – er, I mean, Higurashi. I, uh, saw a documentary about you. You are a famous respiratory specialist."

There were faint murmurings, and Kagome sent Tetsu a look that he was unsure of: either _murderous traitor_, or _thanks for covering my ass_. "Ah, yes. I am glad you saw that show."

The father brought Hiro's mother aside and spoke to her quickly, although Kagome couldn't make any of it out. It seemed heated, but the father gestured to Hiro and Kagome several times. Finally, the mother knelt next to her son's bed and kissed his hand. Kagome could feel his heart labor to push the sickly blood and knew she had very little time left. As the father began to usher everyone out, Kagome placed a gentle hand on the woman's arm. She was reluctant to leave, but a few moments later she rose and walked out. Tetsu closed the door from within and hoped no one noticed he never came out.

Quickly, Kagome slipped the glasses that were hurting her head up as she pulled a chair over to Hiro's side. "Now remember, Tetsu, if I faint, you're gonna have to drag me out of here, even if it's by my hair. I can't get caught, and I don't want you to get in trouble, either."

The boy nodded fervently. "I'll get you out no matter what."

Kagome accepted this and turned to Hiro but just as she rolled up the coat sleeves, his heart gave up and the monitor began to sound a long beep. Kagome began to panic. She had never healed someone who was already dead. Could she do it? But there was no use debating it. She had to try. The medical team would be here any second. Parting the top part of the boy's yukata, she placed her hands on his chest and concentrated. Instantly, her pure light began to glow.

Tetsu had seen this before and watched the door, but he looked back to make sure Kagome was all right. He was deeply worried. Could Kagome still save him? Would she get a chance before the real doctors came?

Sweat beaded on her forehead as she poured her powers into the boy. She felt the liquid lessen in the boy's lungs, but his heart had not yet restarted. And yet, she could not break her focus to tell Tetsu to perform CPR. If he even knew CPR. By the second minute, Kagome's vision was blurry, but from the draining of her powers rather than from bad glasses. His lungs were almost devoid of fluid, and she had also brought down his temperature, but his heart still remained motionless. Using the techniques she learned in yoga, she blocked everything out of her mind. She imagined his heart beating in a healthy rhythm. She saw his veins moving his oxygenated blood in her mind. And then, she saw nothing.

Tetsu heard many things at the same time. There was a ruckus outside, which he could only hear bits and pieces of. _'Why are you out here?' '… Doctor Higurashi… glasses and…' '… no such doctor.'_ "Um, Kagome, I think we should-" He turned to the miko, but she was slumped over in the chair. At the same moment, he noticed that the long note had stopped – his heart was beating again, and it sounded much healthier. Now he had to get them out. He promised her he would.

~~~~~%~~

Sesshoumaru was leaving the office of the Chief of Surgery when he heard a commotion. Nurses were rushing past with defibrillators and other medical supplies. Then he heard the long tone of someone's monitor. He felt bad for whomever it was, but he wasn't interested; he had made up his mind that he would visit the Higurashi Shrine today.

Strolling towards the elevators, he felt the surge of power. It was unmistakable; Kagome. Using all his willpower to not use his extreme speed, he ran towards her aura, passing the others that were rushing that way. With trepidation, he realized that it was not only the same room that the coding was coming from, but also the one that all those doctors were rushing to; he stopped in his tracks. Her power calmed, although still strong, and then just as quickly, it was snuffed out completely. Like a bucket of ice cold water thrown over him, Sesshoumaru felt the hand of dread grip him. He ran once again, and as he passed the nurses' station, he heard a conversation between a family and one of the nurses. A doctor was also standing there, listening intently.

"Why are you out here? Shouldn't you be with your son?" a nurse asked a man.

"We are waiting for Doctor Higurashi to finish her tests," a teenage girl said. The nurse looked puzzled, so the girl elaborated. "The one with the glasses."

The doctor looked startled as the nurse replied, "There is no such doctor."

Sesshoumaru was already at the door that the alarm had come from, but it had stopped; it was replaced by a steadily beeping sound. He rushed inside, hoping to find her. He could smell her in the area, but couldn't feel her potent aura.

~~~~~%~~

Tetsu was in a jam. Even though his friend was alive and the monitor was reporting him as such, the nurses were surely still coming. Unfortunately, Kagome was heavy despite her slim figure, and he was almost sure that she, in fact, was now the dead one. Tears streamed down his face. If he had known that Kagome would have to give her life in order for Hiro to live, he would have selfishly chosen for Kagome to live. But there was no time. She had asked him to make sure they went undetected, and god damnit, he was going to do everything possible to keep her anonymous.

He was halfway to the door, dragging Kagome by the shoulders of the white lab coat, when the door swung open and a tall, statuesque man – obviously older by his long, white hair – practically ran in. Tetsu froze, scared witless, his face shining with tears.

The man looked at Kagome and gasped, and Tetsu could only say, "She's dead!"

__________END CHAPTER____________

End Notes: I did some research about animal shelters for this chapter, and got sucked in. Of course, dogs and cats have it bad all around the world – why should it be different from the U.S.? When looking for a "character" to play Kagome's new 'man in her life', I came across Hijiri (yes, he's a real dog). If you'd like to see a picture of this handsome and funny boy, copy and paste to this address ( users, contact me, since ff won't allow non-ff addresses): .net/?q=en/node/873 If you'd like to help out, there's a page for donations. Like most non-kill shelters, they have 'lifers': animals that won't find a home because of medical issues. Why not sponsor one? (FYI: I originally found Hijiri in October. It is now almost March, and he, as well as many others, have not been adopted.)

Also, please excuse my ignorance of the rites they give to the dying in hospitals. I'm going off my experience in America. Sorry for the cliffie!


	21. XXI

I can't apologize enough to my fans. You go through periods of life where the things you want just aren't possible, and what I wanted was to finish this for y'all. Hopefully I can stay on track now. For anyone that has been waiting years for this, I am truly sorry, and thank you for still reading. Know that I HAVE been thinking of you guys. I really have the best fans ever.

The song for this chapter is for Sesshoumaru; I never knew Pink could sing like this, and the dark, angsty lyrics come through with her scratchy, pop/rock-goddess voice. Listen, if you haven't heard it yet.

"_We come to blows,  
And every night  
The passion's there,  
So it's got to be right…  
Right?_

No I don't believe you,  
When you say 'don't come around here no more'.  
I won't remind you  
You said we wouldn't be apart.  
No I don't believe you,  
When you say you don't need me anymore.  
So don't pretend to  
Not love me at all." -I Don't Believe You, Pink

**That's the Way Love Goes**

**Chapter XXI**

"She's dead!"

The boy's high, panicked voice reverberated in his mind as he tried to accept this statement.

No, it was not feasible for Kagome to perish, because he had not yet told her how he felt, that he was sorry, that he still loved her, that he still dreamed of her smile on the day he had taken her in that rainstorm in the Feudal Era, that he_ wanted_…

Since it was impossible that he should allow Kagome to die right under his nose, Sesshoumaru assessed the situation as quickly as possible.

First, the boy was attempting to help Kagome. Good, now he wouldn't be forced to melt a child.

Second, Kagome didn't have a heartbeat. This was not acceptable. Moving on.

Third, a large group of people were on their way: nurses, doctors, family, friends… The kid was obviously trying to get Kagome out of here, and that wouldn't happen unless he interfered, although this was not the reunion he imagined. He would ignore the boy's manhandling of Kagome until he could properly address him.

Lastly, as it would look odd – unless he were cosplaying – to be wearing Tenseiga in modern Tokyo, he did not have the life-giving sword with him.

Scooping her up, he gracefully swept out the door, a stunned Tetsu in tow. The group was just around the corner. Not a moment too soon, Sesshoumaru ducked into a public men's room. There were two men using the facilities, and as they looked over this new stranger in Doctor's garbs – with an unconscious woman who also seemed to be a Doctor in his arms – they gave the demon salacious looks. Sesshoumaru wanted to rip their throats out, but settled for a dangerous scowl. The men – whether through some instinctive alarm or just the sheer size and mass of the man that was glaring daggers at them – left hurriedly.

Sesshoumaru quickly placed his former lover on the floor. He noticed how her hair was up – _she never used to wear it that way_ – and that she was wearing glasses – _she hadn't needed them when she was younger._ There was a tug deep within him; he felt like his own life force was leaving him as he gazed at her raven-colored tresses and now-pale skin. He took off the coat and threw it at the boy who was still just standing there, still crying.

With a growl, he spoke to the adolescent, whom he knew was not Kagome's brother, but had her scent on him. "Take this back to the Doctors Lounge."

Usually Tetsu wouldn't follow some strange man's orders, but he understood that somehow, this man knew their predicament and was helping. The middle-schooler grabbed the glasses off of Kagome's face, knowing they would have to be returned as well. The man snarled like a beast at him, and he backed into the door. For whatever reason, he felt he had to explain. "Th-they're not hers. They're… the doctor's."

Sesshoumaru, satisfied, turned to the woman on the floor and Tetsu ran out to return the borrowed items. He burst through the door, hoping to get back before the strange man walked off with Kagome. Unfortunately, there were two doctors in there. Fortunately, neither was the one who owned the coat and glasses. But walking into a Doctor's Lounge with these items weren't something with which you could then walk out. He dropped the items and bolted back out.

"Hey!" he heard as he ran down the hall towards the men's room.

He looked behind him just before going in; it wouldn't do for the two doctors to find where he'd gone just to see him holed up in a restroom with another man and a dead woman.

Inside, Sesshoumaru was using his youki to search for a flicker of Kagome's power. Tetsu couldn't stand the silence. "I-I didn't know she was going to die! I would have _never_ asked her to do this! Can you help her? This is all my fault!"

The boy was raving, and his tone hurt Sesshoumaru's sensitive ears. He scowled at the boy, who was currently pacing in the small space. "Be still – your legs _and_ mouth."

Tetsu did as the man said, but still trembled. The adrenaline surged in his veins, and the tears poured still. Wait… who was this guy? Overly concerned for his deceased friend and her soon-to-be-discovered powers, he became bold. "What are you doing with her? Who the hell are you?" He was yelling again.

Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow at the boy's tone but answered anyways. "I am a friend of Kagome's."

"She never mentioned anyone like you!"

The sentence hurt much more than intended, and he flinched. "That does not make it untrue." He wasn't sure he liked the pitch the boy was taking with him, but it seemed he cared about Kagome. And yet… "Why are you here? You must tell me everything."

"I'm not telling you anything until you tell me who you really are," the teen seethed.

Centuries of boring existence honed his patience, and boys were certainly easier to handle than girls, so Sesshoumaru was almost certain he wasn't going to take the boy's head. In the mean time, there was no time for either of them to tell their stories. They still had to get out of here, and they still had one very dead – his heart stopped for a moment – miko. For a second his youki, enraged with the thought of never reconciling its' soul mate, tried to escape. Sesshoumaru fought back with a growl; it wasn't easy, for he still felt as if his soul was slowly depleting, and this made it hard to control the beast within. He stifled it, turning to pin the young man with a glaring look. "Let us get her out of here first."

Tetsu, through some sort of self-preservation, agreed. "Let's bring her home." He was surprised when the tall, older man rose and seemed determined – like he knew where 'home' was. Perhaps he _was_ an old friend of Kagome's. But then wouldn't she have said something about him? If she had, he certainly would remember someone like this. Someone with… tattoos on his _face_? And… _golden_ eyes? What was going on? Who was this person? With that white – or was it silver? – hair, he could be old enough to be Kagome's… grandfather.

Sesshoumaru lifted Kagome's limp body, ignoring the fact that it had been so long since he had held her. The question was, should he use his speed to get out? No one would be able to tell what they saw… but what about the cameras? He knew they were recording, and any idiot would be able to pause the tape and perhaps see that it was him. There was also the matter of the human boy, and he couldn't just leave him, could he?

…

Well, it was an entertaining thought, but Kagome wouldn't appreciate it. No, he'd have to do it the old fashioned, episode-of-a-tv-show way. Motioning to the door, he walked through as Tetsu held it open. To his luck, Sesshoumaru saw an empty transportation bed a few yards away. He quickly placed Kagome on it, and as much as he wanted to look at her, covered her with a sheet. Without looking to see if the boy was following, he started to roll towards the exit. It seemed like the bigger commotion was now inside the room he had take Kagome from – he could hear the joy over the now-living boy, and the astonishment from the medical staff. Had his miko done that? When had she acquired such powers? He was aware that her spiritual pressure had increased and changed its' tenor, but he had assumed that she had simply gotten stronger. Apparently, his miko had been very busy.

Once he had gotten to an area where it was safe to walk out with her, Sesshoumaru calculated where a blind spot would be and picked her up, cradling her. It was as if she were merely sleeping in his arms. As if they were back in Feudal Japan, and after a long day, he were carrying her back to camp. As if she were… still alive. With a tearing pain, his gut wrenched. But he would not allow this strange boy to see him in pain, so he kept his chin up and walked silently until they exited the hospital.

Tetsu, on the other hand, was not as stoic. Sniffling, he mumbled the entire way, unknowingly filling the Taiyoukai in on their shenanigans.

*sniff* "I didn't know this would happen. I thought…" *sniff sniff* "that she would collapse or something, but not…" Here, he half-squealed, but held the rest in. He didn't want to look weak in front of a strange man. "She didn't know either. I mean, she's healed lots of times, but nothing as bad as Hiro was. It's like she healed him with herself. Like, her life went into him. I didn't feel like that when she healed me, I just felt like myself…" *sniff* "I shouldn't have asked her. It was selfish. Meg-chan would be so mad if she knew… she told me not" *sniff* "to ask, but I didn't listen." *sniff sniff* "But how could I just sit there and not do anything? I mean, I knew someone who could heal Hiro – to completely take away his suffering – and I was supposed to just do nothing? That would make me a _coward_."

Sesshoumaru cringed at this. He saw a parallel in his own life. He had once been a coward – the _only time_, mind you – and it had cost him centuries of pain. And possibly the only woman he had ever loved. Had he done something, anything, like this young man had, perhaps they would be happy, living in the Feudal Era. Perhaps his brother would also still be alive.

With one last sniffle, the teenager looked up at Sesshoumaru. They had left the building and were on their way to a car that was conspicuous, to say the least. It was safely parked away from other cars, and the sun gleamed off the glossy paint. For a moment, the young man had forgotten the situation. "Is that… your car we're heading towards?" His jaw was slack as he neared the brilliant violet automobile.

Sesshoumaru allowed himself a smirk. He enjoyed humans' reaction to his car almost as much as he enjoyed driving it. But he barely acknowledged the boy. "Hn." When they got closer, he shifted to get his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the doors with the push of a button.

He watched the man begin to move Kagome into the passenger seat; he couldn't move, starstruck by the car. Who _was_ this man? A car fan, Tetsu knew that this car cost many hundreds of thousands of yen, let alone the fact that it wasn't Japanese. Foreign cars were expensive to get, and this was also a luxury sports car. And, if he knew his cars – and he did – this particular car did not come in this color. In fact, he didn't think _any_ car came in this color, which meant that either this man had a brand-new car stripped and repainted, or he knew someone very high up at Audi and had it painted right there. Either way, if this was his car, he'd like to see the stranger's house.

The car door clicked closed, and Tetsu left his fantasy. He noticed the man was now holding his own seat forward and looking at him expectantly. Tetsu balked. "Uh, what?"

Sesshoumaru quirked an eyebrow impatiently as if questioning the boy's intelligence, but also relaying that they were still in a hurry.

"First of all, um, that car is too expensive for me to touch. And second of all, um, no…? I happen to know there is not much space back there…"

The man scowled as he moved very quickly to the front, where he proceeded to show the boy his trunk space. It was either the tiny cargo area or the trunk. Or he could always just leave…

"Dude, I'm so not riding in the trunk. If you rear-end someone, I'm toast. No thanks."

Sesshoumaru shrugged elegantly and closed the hood, and then proceeded to get in the driver's seat.

"Hey, hey, hey! Hold on!" Tetsu got over his mental block once he realized this man would leave with Kagome without a second thought. "Fine. I'll get in the back. But I won't like it!" With an 'oomph', a few grunts, and a couple of moves a contortionist would be proud of, the teen squeezed himself behind the seats, the top half of his body draped over the luxurious light grey leather of the passenger seat. Obviously, the man had put the seat back in order to lay Kagome down. This, however, was not his preferred riding option. If ever there was a time he thought he would ride in an R8, he figured he'd at least be in the passenger seat, if not the driver's. But a quick glance at the passenger in said seat reminded him that it didn't matter if he was riding on the top of the car as long as they did something about Kagome.

Sesshoumaru slid into his seat as soon as it was apparent the boy wouldn't be crushed. He quickly slipped the key into the ignition and the car roared to life. He allowed himself another smirk when Kagome's young friend jumped as the engine – which he was practically sitting on – started. And then Sesshoumaru began what many years later, Tetsu would describe as the "fastest goddamned way to a horribly painful and messy death," although Sesshoumaru didn't think his driving was much different from usual; only a little more urgent.

There's something to say about Tokyo traffic. Even an extremely dangerous Taiyoukai with a purpose can be slowed by it. So when Sesshoumaru parked in front of the Shrine's monumental steps, he had a thunderous scowl on his face. Only those centuries of boring existence kept him from massacring the population of the Japanese Capital and using the cars as stepping stones to the Higurashi Shrine. Quickly, he retrieved his love from the other side, and he was surprised to see the boy already dashing up the stairs. Kagome looked so fragile, so pale. From his experience between 1950 and 1985 as a surgeon, he doubted he could do anything. But he had to try. With a glance at the boy's back, he dashed up the stairs.

In retrospect, it was humorous that there should be a rather large white dog guarding the Shrine. It was no Great Dog, but nevertheless, an obvious sign. Perhaps he should have intervened earlier, before this fiasco. Then again, she wouldn't be Kagome if she wasn't in some kind of selfless, self-induced, near-death experience. Or in this case, actual death experience. The dog, he had heard from halfway up the steps, had growled at their approach. But he knew the boy and quieted, although he was still weary, seeing as the dog was stiff, its ears and tail erect as he approached. But it seemed as if even the strongest may fall when their soft spot is hit; seeing his master, the dog began to whine and all but forgot the demon's presence. He nosed her hand, but it was motionless and cool to the touch. Hijiri locked eyes with the stranger, and Sesshoumaru could see the simmering anger behind them. The dog growled low and long, his teeth bared menacingly. Tetsu backed away, but Sesshoumaru only bared his own fangs and growled back. Hijiri backed off, but a rumbling could still be heard coming from the large dog.

Tetsu had taken Kagome's purse, and had been busy finding the keys to the front door and opened it. They all rushed inside, collecting around the low dining table where Sesshoumaru had placed her body. Hijiri whined beside his master while tears streamed down Tetsu's face. Sesshoumaru, grave in his silence, looked her over, but he could find no obvious ailments. She seemed perfectly healthy, and yet…

He put his face against her chest and listened for a heartbeat, but there was none. No movement of the blood. Just silence, sobbing, and whining. A black block of icy despair froze around Sesshoumaru as he listened to… nothing. She was, in fact, dead. Even her vanilla scent was disappearing. She didn't smell or look like Kagome. Just an empty shell. Not even a fraction of the lovely, vibrant, maddening, hot-tempered, passionate, affectionate person she was. Flashes of memory – her face, her touch, her scent – raced through his mind, and melted the icy embrace. No, he wasn't going to give up that easily. He began to perform CPR, compressing her chest. He listened, but there was only the sluggish slowing of her blood. He pushed on her heart again, forcing the blood to circulate. Why hadn't he done this earlier? Instead of questioning everything and trying to calculate, he should have moved her life force. After a few more moments, he stopped to listen. Again, the only sound was the decelerating blood.

It was going to kill him – especially if nothing came of this – but he knew he had to try breathing into her. Steeling himself, Sesshoumaru bent to her and slowly, tenderly, put his lips on hers. Tetsu, confused, began to object. But Sesshoumaru's head snapped up and his eyes burned crimson. His beast, released through anguish and rage, snarled and bared his elongated fangs, startling the boy and dog, and revealing himself as something other than human. Hijiri, sensing the danger, backed off, his tail tucked and ears flat against his skull. But something was off…

With his inner youkai unleashed, it searched for Kagome's bright, beautiful aura. It snaked its tendrils through her soul, which somehow was still anchored to her body. But as soon as the two opposing forces touched, there was a spark. Sesshoumaru – growling at the boy and dog – was forced down, making him fall on top of the lifeless miko. He shuddered in pain and writhed as Tetsu watched in horror. Hijiri whimpered, wanting to run, but not capable of leaving his master with the beast. The young boy, conflicted about whether he should help or not, reached a tentative hand out, but the dog gave a sharp bark and he drew it back.

"Nnng!" Sesshoumaru grunted uncharacteristically as he had a spasm, his back arching inwards. He ground his teeth, lest he make more noises. As if there were a tap in his chest, leaking his blood out slowly, Sesshoumaru could feel his life draining in a steady drip. Even in pain, the Taiyoukai thought of his pride. And in that moment, he imagined Kagome smirking at him, telling him that "your pride is your downfall, Sesshoumaru." He cherished that image, and his youkai calmed slightly. And suddenly, he was no longer in so much pain. Now, however, he could feel that he was incredibly tired… he felt as if he had been battling Naraku for three days straight. Or battling Kagome for one.

His mouth tilted slightly upwards, and the pain lessened further. _"Oh, so I'm worse than Naraku, eh?"_ his imaginary Kagome said to him, hands on her hips and a faux-scowl on her face.

"You _do_ rival his tenacity," Sesshoumaru said aloud, his eyes closed, enjoying this made-up moment with his beloved.

"Ugh… Whose?" said a voice under him. Sesshoumaru froze, and then jumped up with amazing speed, despite how tired he felt. And yet, all he could do is stare, mouth slightly agape, at the sight of Kagome, her big, beautiful azure eyes staring back into his. "Sesshoumaru?" she said, her voice barely a whisper. She studied him, and briefly, she wondered if he were in shock. Why was he so… Oh! She hadn't seen him in a very, very, long time. And he hadn't seen her… perhaps he… maybe she had changed? Was it possible that she was no longer attractive to him?

Sesshoumaru's mind was working sluggishly, probably an effect of how lethargic he felt. Kagome – unless he had either died while he was in pain or going crazy – was staring up at him after being dead for nearly half an hour. He hadn't even actually administered CPR. He had barely had the time to put his lips against hers before that damned boy – who was now staring at the two of them – had tried to interfere and his youki…

Oh.

_Oh_.

Oh!

Hn. He was starting to sound like Kagome within his head. Not good.

It was clear to him now. Well, parts of it, anyways. But first…

He bent to pick her up, but before he had a chance, a huge ball of white fur – not his mokomoko, which he had abandoned long ago – leapt across his path.

Kagome giggled, to his annoyance. "Oh, Hijiri! I'm glad to see you, too."

Her smile, however, was welcoming. She had smiled at him too, but it had quickly turned into a frown, and then she almost looked like she was going to cry. He guessed she was in pain, but before he could bring her to her bed, the canine had interrupted.

"K…"

He turned his head to see the boy crying silently, and Sesshoumaru felt the urge to roll his eyes, although he refrained.

Kagome's head snapped towards the sound when she heard his voice; now the memories came back of what had happened.

"K… Kagome?"

She held out her arms, inviting him in for a hug. He hesitated, obviously afraid. But she beckoned him, and he practically fell into her arms. Sesshoumaru stepped forward to remove the boy, but Kagome glanced at him with one of her trademark glares.

Well, fine. He'd allow it. But he wouldn't be happy about it. Crossing his arms and countering with an impressive scowl, Sesshoumaru stood his ground. He watched as the boy bawled, leaving his spicy scent all over Kagome's sweet smell. The youkai ground his teeth, debating just how upset she would be if he beheaded the youth. The verdict was 'very', and so again, he waited – very patiently, if he said so himself.

"Ssh, you don't need to cry, Tetsu," Kagome cooed after making sure Sesshoumaru wasn't going to interrupt. What did he care anyways? After everything that happened…

"Kagome, you were dead!"

"Was I?" Kagome asked, genuinely puzzled. "All I remember was healing Hiro, and feeling so sleepy." As if to accentuate her point, she yawned.

"No, Kagome. You didn't fall asleep. You died. Like, no heartbeat. No pulse. I started to drag you out…" The memory brought on a new torrent of tears, and Kagome tried to console him.

Deciding that this wasn't the time or place, Kagome didn't even look at Sesshoumaru. She didn't need Tetsu to hear anything they said to each other. He didn't know who – or what – Sesshoumaru was. When the boy went home, she would speak with him, although she wasn't sure if he would even stick around. And what would she say to him?

Suddenly conscious of her appearance, Kagome tried to smooth her hair and face. She checked her clothes; funny, she didn't even remember what she had worn that morning. But her yellow blouse and dark brown pencil skirt were intact, and not even that wrinkled. After giving herself the once-over, she glanced up to find Sesshoumaru's golden gaze on her. Blushing, she averted her eyes, but she could feel him staring at her now. He didn't look happy. He looked… like Sesshoumaru. Oh, gods, Sesshoumaru was standing in front of her. There was so much she needed to get off her chest. She felt like she was back in Tanaka-san's office, unable to really say what was on her mind but needing to tell someone. There was a huge weight building on her shoulders, trying to tip her over.

Before she could think any more dark thoughts, Tetsu pulled back, sniffling. "Sorry," he mumbled. "I'm just… so glad. You have no idea."

Kagome attempted to smile and ruffled his hair like she used to do to Souta. "It's okay, Tetsu. I'm just glad I could…" Her eyes widened and she grabbed the boy. "Did I help? Is Hiro okay?"

Tetsu grinned. "He's perfect." Then his expression became murderous. "Kagome, I would've never forgiven myself. I didn't mean for you to trade your life for his. If you had stayed…" He looked away, not able to finish.

The miko patted his head. "Tetsu, don't be ridiculous. I didn't trade my life. I simply… filled him with my aura. That's kinda what happens every time I heal someone. Even you." She smiled and tapped him on the nose, and he swatted her away playfully. "Unfortunately, it seems like the closer someone is to death, the more I have to give, therefore, since Hiro pretty much died…"

Tetsu squirmed. "Anyways, I'm so glad you're back. By the way, how did you come back? I mean, you were like, totally dead…"

Kagome laughed at how comfortable he had become with the situation, but Kagome wondered at the question. Her eyes slid towards Sesshoumaru, wondering if he had used Tenseiga. But she wouldn't be able to ask him until later. When her eyes came back to Tetsu's, he seemed angry.

"Was it because of this…_ thing_?"

Kagome became indignant. "Tetsu! Do not speak of my friend" – Sesshoumaru winced at the term – "that way!"

"Kagome, he growled at me. Like, growled. He even made Hijiri back down. What is he? A spirit? A ghost? He's got weird markings and long white hair. Only Yakuza have long white hair and tattoos, Kagome!"

Angry as she was, Kagome almost laughed at his last statement. But she couldn't let him know the truth. Sesshoumaru had been safe from humans all this time. If they found out…

"You mind your tongue, young man. You should go home. Your mother is expecting news. And what if everything is on the news? She's probably very worried…"

Tetsu's eyes still displayed his antagonism, but he knew she was right. "Will you be okay?" he asked with a calm rage.

Kagome scowled and swatted him away. "Go home, Tetsu. I'll be fine."

Tetsu looked at her for a few moments before meeting Sesshoumaru's steely gaze and complying. He turned and left, not looking back, but vowing to call her later.

Sesshoumaru could hear her heartbeat pick up its pace. She looked frightened. "Daijoubou…"

Kagome's head snapped up. She hadn't expected him to speak for some reason. For that matter, she hadn't known what to expect. Would he kill her, kiss her – she felt a thrill at the prospect, and then quashed it – or just leave? But he was… asking if she were all right? Apparently. But she hadn't expected a reunion quite like this. After all this time…

The emotional stress was too much to bear, and Kagome turned on her heel to flee. But Sesshoumaru – quick as a cobra – caught her wrist. "Kagome, do not go."

The young woman didn't know what she should be more surprised at: the fact that he called her by name, or that he still had that formal way of speaking.

He was surprised to see tears in her eyes when she turned to face him, although her eyes would not meet his. Perhaps it was his ego, but he had assumed she would be happy to see him. "Are you… not well?" he asked, not wanting to push the subject.

Again, he caught her by surprise. Ever the one to brush things off, this was something she couldn't help to respond to. "No, I'm fine, I'm fine."

Sesshoumaru's eyebrow rose, as well as one corner of his mouth. "Is that so? Because you just died. You have been dead for at least half an hour. I should have called for an ambulance, but the boy insisted there be no interference from…"

He trailed off when Kagome lifted her hand to her mouth and giggled. His smirk faded as he wondered just what in the hell was so funny. Because surely death was no laughing matter. "What…?"

Kagome held up her other hand. "I'm sorry… I don't mean to be rude. It's just the thought of you using a phone…" She giggled again.

The youkai was taken aback. She was laughing at _him_?! "I do not see what is humorous. I have been using a cellular for a few decades now, and… What now?"

Kagome had kicked it up a few notches. The mental image of Sesshoumaru, in a business suit, with a cell at his elfish ears…

"Hn. I suppose I shall leave you, since you seem to be fine, as you said." Quickly, Sesshoumaru was out the door and approaching the Shrine's steps.

Sobering quickly, Kagome ran after him. Because of the subject matter, she finally took a long look at him, even if it was his back. But for the most part, all she really saw was a long, white lab coat. But there, near his calves, the pants underneath were revealed. They seemed to be – in fact – part of a suit. A grey, pinstriped suit. And… leather shoes. Well, maybe they were his old boots. But he looked normal. Like a doctor. Was Sesshoumaru a doctor? Why was he even around? She tried to remember Souta's words…

"_Sesshoumaru's here. He lives in Northern Japan, and he comes to visit, but mom shoos him away because she doesn't want you to be upset, and the last time, he was really upset over something mom said, so he's been staying away, but he has a home in Tokyo…"_ Souta had known that Sesshoumaru was around. Perhaps even talked to him. Her mother had been upset, and tried to explain… _"I couldn't add to your stress. I decided that it was best he stay away. But Kagome, I only told him to leave you be until it seemed like you needed him. And really, I can't think of a time you needed him more than now. Would you like to see him?"_ And she had told her mother no, but hadn't been able to explain. Wanting to see him but still hurt after all those years. And now he was here; he had saved her from certain death. By the way, how had he done that? Grateful as she was, however, she wasn't sure why he had saved her. But all the same…

"S-Sesshoumaru?" She watched as he froze. But he didn't turn. Would he respond? He had been trying to talk to her, after all.

"Hn?" He was several yards away, but his trademark response was easily discernible.

It made Kagome smile. "Thank you," she said softly, knowing his sensitive ears would pick it up.

He turned then, and Kagome could barely believe the emotion in his eyes. She was instantly transported to an easier, younger time. When she was frolicking with Rin, canoodling with Sesshoumaru, and Inuyasha was upset, but alive. Oh, to go back to that time…

But…

One of those was right in front of her. He was looking at her with that look; in the many years that she had known him – as an enemy, as an ally, as a friend, as a lover – she had only seen him use that look for Rin, and herself. Of course, he looked at Rin differently; parental pride usually took precedence in that situation. Could it be that he still had feelings for her? No, it couldn't be. He had been disgusted with himself when he had learned what he had done. So there was no reason to keep him here if he wished to leave. Perhaps he only saved her because of some nostalgic whim…?

And then Sesshoumaru turned and left.

~~~~~%~~

"Kagome, I cannot help you any further if you do not tell me more about this Sesshoumaru. What is his last name? What does he do for a living? What was his relationship like with your husband?" Tanaka sounded more like a broken record at every session.

Kagome had wanted to skip it – that would show her! – but her stupid dignity had told her that _wouldn't it be more mature if you went?_ Keh, dignity. Where was her dignity when she had run away from Sesshoumaru back to her era? Where had it been hiding when, out of pity for herself and pity for him – although some of it was revenge as well – she had married his brother? And where was it now, seeing as she should be talking to Sesshoumaru instead of a psychiatrist?

"I don't know who you're talking about," she replied coolly. "Only my friends and family know who my ex is."

Dignity. Hn.

Internally, she sighed. Both brothers had left a mark on her heart – and lexicon, apparently – but her stubbornness… well, it seemed that was something they all shared.

Tanaka scowled. "Why are you wasting your money, Higurashi-sama? You need help, and this is what I am here for!"

Kagome tried to block her out. _ 'La la la… I can't hear you. I'm in my own little world…'_

"If you are not going to speak of the one thing that is keeping you from healing your heart, then you can go no further. You will not progress. What is so bad that you cannot speak of?"

'_Oh, well, it's a complicated story – Uh, no! I mean, tra la-la la laaaa…'_

"What could be worse than the death of your husband and unborn child? You have already talked of these things, and dealt with the pain."

'_You don't understand. Inuyasha's death, I can hold myself accountable for. If I hadn't lead him on… And the baby, well, I loved her, sure, but I had never been eager for a child. So eventually, I healed. But this… Argh, she's getting to me! Cool down, Kagome…'_

"Unless there was some sort of adultery involved, or this Sesshoumaru was an abusive man-"

Kagome snapped. "Sesshoumaru was never abusive! He was the kindest, gentlest, most handsome man I have ever known! I don't know what happened, all right?! One day we were together, and the next, he no longer loved me! Now DROP IT!" Her chest heaving and tears streaming down her face, Kagome got up from the sofa and headed for the door.

"Ah, you have not had any closure. No wonder you are so angry." Tanaka watched as Kagome paused. "You know, I once had a bad break-up. This man, who I'll call Gen, was the love of my life. We had many wonderful months together, and enjoyed peaceful moments snuggled up next to the fire in his home." Kagome turned back towards her, and she continued with a somber look on her face. "He was a lovely man, tall and lean – he played basketball, you know – but as popular as he was, he was also very quiet."

Many of the things Tanaka-san was saying rang with her, so Kagome walked back to the sofa and sat, her tears no longer flowing, but she refused to dry them.

"Oh, and he was so handsome!" The older woman giggled and put her hands on her cheeks, mildly embarrassed at the memory. "Other women would die to be with him – I even got in a few fights," she winked at Kagome, to the younger woman's astonishment, "but it was me he wanted."

This, too, was true in Kagome's case. Sesshoumaru had been quite the catch, but for some reason, he had wanted her.

The therapist's tone grew grave. "Then one day, he simply told me that I was unwelcome. I had to stop coming around. And that was the end of that."

Kagome stared with wide, cerulean eyes. "And… and you just gave up? Just like that?" She was shocked.

Tanaka tried to look abashed. "Well, what would you have done?"

The young miko was all fired up, and when she was feeling spirited nothing could stop her words. "I would have fought for him! At least gotten a reason! I mean, to just quit and go away?!" Kagome faltered for a moment, and then continued, a little more subdued. "I should've refused. I should've told him I'd rather have died than leave. I should've… I should've let him cool down and then gone back after a few days. I should've told Inuyasha 'no'. I shouldn't have gotten married to Inuyasha. Things would be so different…" Putting her head in her hands, Kagome sobbed loudly, her breath coming in gasps.

Tanaka moved to the couch beside her and rubbed the younger woman's back, smiling inwardly. Finally, a breakthrough! Hopefully the girl could move on now. But first, she had some owning-up to do.

"Kagome-sama, it is true that there are many things that you can or can't do. It is easy for anyone to say they could have done things differently. The wise person learns from it and decides what they are going to do next."

"Going… to… do…? I can't do anything!" She had a wild look in her eyes; the expression of a desperate person. "It's all my fault, isn't it? I had no business falling in love with him. If I had just refused him, then he would've found someone of his own… status, and probably had kids! Even if I had fallen for him, I should've just fought through it and given him time. Why didn't I? Why did I just assume that he wouldn't want me and leave?! Inuyasha would still be alive. And I would be there, with Sango and Miroku, and Rin. Instead of in stupid Modern Tokyo!" The tears flowed once more, but from anger now.

"Modern…? Higurashi-sama, what do you mean?"

"It's all my fault! And I'll never see any of them again! It all comes down to the stupid jewel again! If I had just sucked it up and made the wish…"

"Er, Kagome-sama…"

"Then maybe I could've stayed! I was such a scared girl… What was there to be afraid of? I was well-respected, I had friends, and I had a home. But no, I wanted both worlds!" The miko was pulling on her hair now, frustrated and grief-stricken.

It was silent for a while before Kagome looked up to find Tanaka staring at her with worried eyes. "Kagome, you have been keeping much a secret. I do not know where to start. Perhaps you need to start telling the truth. You need to trust me, Kagome."

Kagome looked at her with wide, sad eyes. Tanaka felt as if she were starting to understand a bit of the grief Kagome felt. After all, for such a young woman, she had been through much more than some twice her age had experienced. "You don't understand," Kagome said in a depressed voice, "there are some things I just cannot divulge! They're not my secrets to share!"

This was something Tanaka could understand. If she was willing but unable… well, that was totally different from being too stubborn to talk. "Okay, Higurashi-sama. Tell me as much as you can. I give you permission to fib where you must in order to help me understand you. But this is important. You have had a breakthrough. I bet you have been blaming everyone else, and then told yourself no one is to blame. This is healthy, but you skipped the part where you fault yourself, and until you learn otherwise, you cannot move on. So… tell me."

Kagome had listened, and it sounded like she could do this. How hard could it be? And Tanaka couldn't possibly guess… With a huge sigh, Kagome began.

"You see, when I was fifteen, I fell in love with Inuyasha. I even studied under a real miko – she was so wonderful and taught me such valuable lessons… I met his brother, Sesshoumaru, but the two never got along. They had two different mothers, and their father died before Inuyasha knew him. They were a royal family, but Inuyasha's mother was… a peasant. Yes, a peasant." Kagome felt bad, lying in such a way as to dishonor Inuyasha's mother, but there was no other way to put it. "So Sesshoumaru hated Inuyasha for his mixed blood. He was constantly trying to… fight Inuyasha, but it was never too serious." _ 'Oh, no… cutting off a limb or putting your hand through someone's stomach is never serious.'_ Kagome wanted to roll her eyes at her own story, but at least she was getting the hang of it.

"One day, a criminal in their part of the city was making headlines, and everyone feared him. Inuyasha, and eventually Sesshoumaru, each took it upon themselves to rid themselves of this murderer. We met some great people who became like family to us-"

"Is this the Miroku and Sango you spoke of?" the therapist asked, jotting down notes.

"Hai," Kagome answered before continuing. "They, too, had been tricked in one way or another by the criminal and wanted revenge. Sesshoumaru was too proud to work directly with us, but we bumped in to him a lot. Along the way, the brothers sort of had their own therapy and eventually worked things out to the point of not wanting to fight any more. One day, Sesshoumaru found a little homeless girl whom he adopted, which was a big step for him. None of us understood why he would care for her when he hated Inuyasha, but she helped heal his heart. We all defeated the criminal together, but I had a Jewel that the thief was constantly trying to take. It was very valuable, and after his death, other thieves came out of the woodworks in an attempt to take the jewel. But even though we loved each other, Inuyasha never asked me to be his wife, so I would go back and forth between Tokyo and his home."

"Ah. That explains the two worlds. Quite dramatic you are with the descriptions. Carry on."

"Another group of misfits came for my Jewel, and we were all fighting. Another homeless child that Inuyasha and I were taking care of-"

"You adopted a child?" Tanaka asked, her face a mask of pure shock.

"Not so much so. It wasn't legal, but he did stay with us. Anyways, he was in trouble, and I sacrificed myself for him. He got away to tell the others, but they were all too beat up from fighting. I was in danger, and Sesshoumaru appeared out of nowhere and saved me. We hadn't seen him in a while, but there he was. Somehow during the fight, I injured him, then passed out – probably from exhaustion. He lost his memories, but he still cared for me. Rin knew me, however, and when I woke up, I got to know the real Sesshoumaru. The one that wasn't masked by royalty or pride. The one that – if not for his hatred of "peasants" – would have been so kind and good. I diagnosed him with 'post-traumatic Retrograde Amnesia'."

Tanaka's eyes widened even further.

"I take it you know what I'm referring to…"

The psychiatrist nodded, as things like this were taught in her field. She had never had an amnesiac patient herself, but knew of colleagues that had. Now that her interest was doubly piqued, she urged Kagome on. "So did he get it back?"

"Well, I wound up staying in his home for a while, getting to know him, and Rin became like a little sister to me. Little by little, pieces of his life came to him. He loathed his former self and constantly begged for my forgiveness about things that had happened when our groups' paths had crossed. He was so remorseful, and wondered if his brother would forgive him. I tried to reassure him, but there was too much going on. Eventually I asked to go back because I had school, and when he brought me back the accusations ran wild. Everyone had thought I was dead, and when I show up with Sesshoumaru, everyone thinks I was kidnapped. Well, I couldn't tell the truth, but gave them a watered-down version."

"Like you're doing to me?" Tanaka quipped, an eyebrow ratcheted into her hairline.

Kagome laughed uneasily. "Uh, yeah. So, I went home and stayed until the weekend, where I went back to Sesshoumaru's. Unfortunately, more and more of his memories were coming back and he was suffering through how harsh he used to be. And then one day…" She trailed off, her words barely the whisper of a feather on the wind.

"He was whole," Tanaka finished, understanding the pain in Kagome's voice.

The young woman nodded. "I'd never thought of it that way, but yes. He was intact, and he was furious that he'd allowed himself to be 'tainted' by such a normal girl…" Kagome began to sob once more, and Tanaka rubbed her back in soothing circles.

After a few minutes, she was able to continue. "I was distraught. I wasn't thinking clearly. So I allowed Inuyasha to court me again. He hadn't taken it well when I told everyone that I loved Sesshoumaru, and had been waiting for another chance. I felt like I owed it to him. It wasn't his fault; he told me later that the reason he never proposed was that he was waiting for me to finish school…"

"A reasonable excuse," Tanaka chided.

Kagome hung her head. "Yes. Very reasonable. Although… I wish he had said something. He never once told me he loved me. He was so unused to using words for affection. Well, when he finally proposed, I said yes, even though I was still in love with Sesshoumaru, even in denial. Eventually, he moved into the Shrine and we got married. The rest you know."

Tanaka, still scribbling furiously on her notepad, was silent for a few moments before looking up and sighing deeply. "Well, Kagome. Except for whatever you intentionally changed or left out, I'd say you had some very big scars on your shoulders."

"Had?" Kagome said incredulously. "No, no, no… Have. Not past tense."

"Yes, past tense. Because by talking about it and getting whatever guilt you felt out, you'll begin to heal properly. But you've forgotten one thing. This whole thing with your mother… What is going on?"

Kagome looked everywhere but at the therapist. How could she possibly begin?

"Just give me the basics, Kagome. You've trusted me with much more. I can at least respect your privacy of certain things."

Kagome stared for a moment, caught off guard. But – not one to look a gift horse in the mouth – she took the opportunity. "She's been keeping something secret from me. The fact that Sesshoumaru has been coming to see me. She never told me that he still cared. There were so many times where I needed him…"

"Are you sure, Kagome?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well," she said, taking her thick, black-rimmed glasses off, "what if he wasn't what you needed? What if your mind is clouded, and you would have told him to go away? What if, by allowing him to see you, it had harmed your relationship with him further?"

Kagome was speechless. She honestly had not thought of that. Sure, many people had run the whole 'maybe it was for your own good' bit past her, but not in this way. Tanaka just might have a point.

"If what you say is true, and he comes around to see you-"

"Er, yeah. About that…"

Tanaka's eyes turned into big pickled plums. "Has he…?"

"I sorta…" How does one explain dying by transferring their life force into another person, and then coming back to life over half an hour later to find your long-lost love staring at you? Talking was so much easier with Sango… "Well, I was visiting a friend in the hospital and we ran into each other. He took me home, but then he left."

Tanaka gave her a dubious look. "That's all?"

Kagome's brows furrowed. "That's all."

"Hmm. I see…"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kagome all but shouted.

"Well, it's just that you've finally opened up, and you seem about ready to jump out of your seat at the drop of a hat. You're not usually so… panicky."

"I'm… panicky?"

"I'm not sure if that's the right word, but our time is up."

"What do you mean, our time is up? I finally tell you everything, and you're shoving me out the door?"

"Kagome, a psychiatrist does not shove clients out the door. But they do have others to attend to, and what's more, you did_ not_ tell me everything," she said with a poignant look.

Kagome huffed. "Okay, fine. I'll go. But I might not be back," she said, grabbing her purse and leaving through the exit door.

Tanaka sighed. "I hope not, Kagome. I hope this Sesshoumaru can do for you what I could not."

~~~~~%~~

Kagome spent the next week busying herself, trying to keep her brain at bay. Seeing Sesshoumaru again… His face, his youki, his eyes... They haunted her. Not only during her waking moments, but during her dreams, as well. Sweeping the shrine steps, making ornaments for visitors, laundry, cooking, bathing Hijiri, tidying her room; nothing helped to keep the memories at bay.

She knew what her problem was. Tanaka had helped her a great deal, and the fact that she thought talking to Sesshoumaru would help made sense. But Kagome didn't want to do that. She thought if she ever saw him again… Well, she honestly had no idea what to expect, but countless scenarios went through her mind. There had been a few where when she tried to apologize for running off to Tokyo, and Sesshoumaru had turned his back on her, as he did about a week ago. But that didn't make it hurt any less. It hadn't prepared her for actually seeing him.

There had been something there, though. Before he left. Something in his usually stoic stares gave away a little of what he had been thinking. There was a reason he left. However, it wasn't like Kagome could just pick up a phone and call him. She didn't have his number. Well, her mother might, but she wasn't about to ask her. And Souta might as well, but she really didn't want to have that conversation; her little brother – who wasn't so little any more – was wiser than she at this point. She also couldn't very well call up information and ask for the number of 'Sesshoumaru'. I mean, they would probably think she was crazy, and what if he didn't go by that name any more? The thought of it made her sad. The thought of Sesshoumaru – so powerful, so beautiful, so glorious in the Sengoku Jidai – not even using his own name was depressing.

Without a feasible way to contact him, and with so many thoughts running through her head, Kagome continued her life. She attempted to stay as busy as possible, until she was exhausted.

She didn't go to her next session with Tanaka.

~~~~~%~~

Sesshoumaru kicked himself mentally for a week. He thought he had learned from his mistake in the past. When he watched his brother marrying the love of his life, he should have stormed into the circle of friends, scooped Kagome up, and ran off with her.

Well, his brother would've chased him – unsuccessfully, of course, since as a half-breed, Inuyasha was much slower than he – and Kagome might have – successfully, since she was in fact that powerful – zapped him with her powers. But at least he would've done something. Yet, here he was again, running away from his problems.

Since when did the most powerful being that ever existed run away from anything?

Apparently, when it came to Kagome, he was, in fact, capable of running away. Now the question remained of what he was going to do about it.

~~~~~%~~

After missing a few more sessions, Tanaka became worried and went to Kagome's home.

"I assure you, Kagome-sama, I simply came to make sure you were alive and well. I am not even sure I can do anything further for you. The rest is up to you."

Kagome was shocked. "You… you mean you're not going to push me into more therapy?"

Tanaka grabbed her patient's hand in both of hers. "You need something from this man. Whatever it is, I cannot help you figure that out. The only way you can find out is by confronting him – and your fears."

This made sense, somewhat. Removing her hand from Tanaka's, Kagome frowned. "I have to talk to him? That's… impossible."

"Whatever your situation, it is simply improbable. Nothing is impossible. Especially when it comes to matters of the heart. And it is obvious that you both love each other."

Kagome made a noise that sounded somewhat like a groan mixed with a sigh, with a bit of a giggle in there somewhere as she planted her palm on her forehead. "Tanaka-san, respectfully, you've never met him, so you don't know that. And I no longer love him, so you are wrong. It is not obvious."

Tanaka chuckled in only the way a wiser, older woman can. "Kagome-sama, you are still young, and sometimes, a little stupid," she said, tapping the taller woman's soft, wavy-haired head. "This man came to your home several times to see you. He would have, had your mother not intervened, yes?" When Kagome nodded, she continued. "Obviously, he still cares for you very much. Perhaps it is you that is getting in your own way. You still care for him as well, otherwise, you would not need closure. Although, perhaps it is not closure that you truly seek."

With that, the old woman turned and walked out the door of her home. Hijiri followed her to the shrine steps, and then came padding back to the kitchen door before opening it. The incredibly smart dog had learned he could open the door by nosing the handle until it opened a crack, then put his nose there and swung it open. Kagome still stood where he left her.

In those previous moments, Tanaka had reminded her of old Kaede: clever, wise beyond her years, and truly wanting to help those in need. Kagome felt awful for always feeling like Tanaka didn't care, or just wanted money. She would have to remember to send her flowers someday to thank her. The words she spoke ran true. But she still had no way to contact Sesshoumaru without talking to her mother or brother. And she didn't want anyone else involved.

On the other hand, it had been almost a month since she had seen him. Maybe then, he had decided she was no longer worth waiting for? That was always a possibility, but Kagome wouldn't think that way. She needed to know. She needed to see him. But as she couldn't currently do much about it, she figured all she could do was go on with her life. If opportunity presented itself, she would know it was time.

Kagome spent another five weeks returning to normalcy. She started practicing yoga once more. She took Hijiri for nice long walks – to which others would usually cross the street long before they approached. And she cleaned. And cleaned. And cleaned some more. Sometimes, Souta would call. Occasionally, Tetsu and his girlfriend would drop by and spread a little of their youthful energy. And almost every other day, Kayo came to bring Kagome something: a coffee drink, some red bean cakes, flowers she had picked, a biscuit for Hijiri…

Kagome knew her friend was worried for her, and that she was using little excuses to check on her. But it was sweet, and she wasn't being intrusive, and she loved Kayo. Plus, as time went on, her friend came less and less, believing Kagome was truly getting along fine. And she was, for the most part. She'd come to peace with almost everything in her life, except for her regrets with Sesshoumaru. And until she saw him, that couldn't be rectified. Or at least she could apologize. It wouldn't solve anything, but at least she would get what she's been meaning to say all these years off her chest. Over those weeks, she imagined several scenarios, some humorous, some ending in her demise – again.

One began with her running into Sesshoumaru on the streets of Tokyo. She began to apologize, and he simply… walked away. It was devastating. So she then thought of him bursting into her kitchen, and as she tried to apologize, he swept her up and kissed her deeply. That one flustered her as well as made her tear up, and she had to move on. Then, one daydream happened to take place at his home – one that Kagome had to imagine, since she didn't know where he lived. But Souta had said he lived up North, so she imagined Sesshoumaru with a big, furry, white fur coat on. But he looked like a pimp, and she burst out laughing. 

Hijiri cocked his head, his large, furry triangular ears perked forward, wondering what was going on with his master's emotions. He looked so much like Inuyasha in that moment that it sobered her quickly. She finished collecting the dishes she had just finished washing and put them away. There was a soft knock at the door, and Kagome instantly thought Kayo had come to bring her ice cream or something similar. But then the large dog growled softly, followed by a nervous glance her way. This was… unusual. If there were danger, Hijiri was fearless and would barrel out the door. This was different. Testing her powers, she felt… youki! But, there were virtually no demons left! Could it be? Not daring to get her hopes up, Kagome opened the inner, hardwood door and was faced with…

Sesshoumaru.

Her breath left her in a whoosh, like a summer breeze through a majestic elm's leaves. And he was just standing there, looking just as handsome as the first time she'd seen him. Just a little more… modern. All this time, she'd been planning what to say. And now he was there, standing in front of her. And she couldn't say anything. Her mouth gaped unattractively.

"Hello, Kagome."

Ok, don't hate me for another cliffhanger, lol. I WILL get back on track. It's been a long road to having time to myself once again, and I'm finally at that point. Again, y'all are the best fans a writer could hope for. I realize this pairing is dying down, because the Inuyasha series isn't as popular anymore, but for me, it will always be my favorite. Thanks for sticking around. This chapter is dedicated to those of you that have stuck around since October of 2007.


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